The reaction to a situation where a guy slaps a girl on the butt can be radically different. Some ladies like this gesture, others perceive it as an insult towards them. And only experienced men know how to make touching a girl’s buttocks give her pleasure. In turn, experts name a number of reasons why girls love to be spanked on the butt.
And men themselves, for the most part, have a weakness for such games with their partners, regularly patting her buttocks even just like that, without sexual overtones. Psychologists are ready to name reasonable reasons for such a weakness of men for the buttocks and the ambiguous reaction of girls to this from the point of view of the subconscious and the nature of the human body.
About how to do it
Butt spanking is also called spanking. One of the best poses for him is over the knee. It is intimate and makes the person being spanked uncomfortable. This is where the game comes in.
Before spanking the butt, you need to make sure that all rings and bracelets are removed from your hand. Otherwise, there will be no talk of any pleasure - these parts can cause a lot of pain, scratch, and leave bruises on the body.
It is important to warm up your buttocks before starting spanking. If you start hitting them right away, the reaction will be negative. Instead, you need to massage the area that will be hit. A characteristic pink color should appear on the skin.
Is injury always
“Children are different,” says Kristina Odegova, “there are vulnerable ones for whom any physical impact will be perceived as a universal catastrophe. And there are those who are lively, prone to aggression, for whom a spanking will not be something very important, since they themselves can slap the offender in the sandbox or in the kindergarten.
I want to make a reservation right away: I am strictly against any corporal punishment. This is dishonest, always degrades personal dignity and, most importantly, never brings results. The child will begin to be afraid, become embittered, close himself off and, possibly, retain this trauma for the rest of his life. At the same time, the picture of the child’s behavior and his actions will not change. This is worth remembering. Yes, the parent will let off steam - but this is also ineffective, not to mention harmful to family relationships.
By the way, parental aggression is always passed on to children. Therefore, they get even more uncontrollable behavior from the child.”
About the reaction
For everything to go well, it is important to monitor your partner’s reaction. You need to see whether she likes what is happening or not. If you hear squeaking or giggling, you need to increase the pressure. If the “victim” dodges, this is the norm.
You need to hit the lower part of the buttocks, you can hit the thighs, but you shouldn’t hit higher, in the area of the kidneys. It would be too much.
Under no circumstances should you “stick” your hand. This is a fairly common mistake among men - when they hit the buttock, for some reason they hold their hand on it. The hand should bounce off it, as if it were being struck with a whip.
There is no need to spank all the time - you need to give the “victim” time to rest. It's important for her to take a breath. In addition, it provokes anticipation, which will make the process more enjoyable. But don’t delay – pauses should be short. It is best to give 5 spanks, and then stroke and massage the buttocks, you can penetrate between them with your fingers.
Nothing turns you on more at this moment than dirty talk. For example, the “top” can praise the “victim” for his patience, or even better, remind him why the “victim” gets it. It is best if this is not a real offense, but a game situation. Alternatively, you can say: “Did you understand everything?” It is important that the questions do not require detailed answers from the “victim”.
Why doesn't the baby listen?
Psychologists have identified several reasons for children's disobedience. These include:
struggle for self-affirmation; way to attract attention; desire to contradict; feeling of uncertainty; inconsistency in education; excessive demands on the baby.
The feeling of uniqueness is inherent in all people, however, over time it can disappear. By the age of one year, the baby recognizes himself as a person who has his own opinion and position. It’s the adults who perceive him as a baby, but not he himself! This is where many children's whims and misunderstandings take their roots.
If a toddler lacks attention, he finds a way to influence adults - disobedience. A very effective way! Doing the opposite is also one of the methods of influencing a child on his parents. The reasons for this behavior may be resentment or lack of parental attention.
A feeling of self-doubt arises due to the constant tugging of the baby and irritation of parents at the slightest provocation. The little man is simply trying to defend himself and stops perceiving the mother’s constant tugging and abstracts himself.
Unsystematic upbringing occurs when a child has a lot of educators - mothers and fathers, grandmothers and grandfathers, uncles and aunts. Each of the educators has his own ideas about proper upbringing, which may contradict the ideas of other family members. This style can be called “swan, crayfish and pike”. The kid simply doesn’t know what to do: some praise him, others punish him.
Some parents make simply impossible demands on the little person. This usually happens with authoritarian parents who elevate their word and power to absolutes. No one listens to the child, no one is interested in his condition - they just demand. If you do not comply with the requirement, punishment follows. Being in such an atmosphere is extremely difficult even for adults, not to mention children.
About aggression
There is a taboo on aggression in society. This is a condition for survival, but it also applies to games. Not everyone admits to the need to inflict or experience pain for sexual satisfaction. People are afraid of their partner’s reaction—condemnation. However, in the intimate sphere, social rules cease to apply. There, the partners come up with the rules themselves. Each couple has their own sexual script. What outsiders would condemn can bring true pleasure to both.
Many human fantasies need not only fulfillment, but also attention. By ruling or submitting, attacking, inflicting pain or receiving it, a person finds ways to experience real delight.
Why is this needed?2
Even the best at sex can fall into a stagnant routine. Nature loves variety. There are many ways that people engage in hobby activities for fun. We all have unique erotic preferences. It is only natural that adding spanking, biting, grabbing or tying will lead to a certain effect.
It increases intimacy. Sharing new experiences with your partner will organically bring you closer. Whether it's a new restaurant or getting a little kinky in the bedroom, you're creating new sexy memories together that you'll eventually bond over.
One study even found that couples who engage in BDSM had an actual hormonal response, resulting in feelings of increased levels of intimacy after the act. While we don't suggest going out and buying whips and chains at your local sex shop, light BDSM is worth a try.
Girls' reaction
When understanding what a slap on the butt means for a girl, you need to take into account many factors. Her reaction will depend on who does it, how and under what circumstances. Properly executed spankings can terribly excite a woman, or they can cause irritation and an irresistible desire to hit a man in the head in response.
We must remember that women do not like it when a man spanks them on the butt in front of strangers. This causes irritation and a desire to fall through the ground. This may provoke a negative reaction and certainly will not arouse one.
But if a spanking is used as a prelude to private caresses, it can be enjoyed. But even at the same time, you need to calculate the strength, doing it moderately softly. After all, excessive pain simply blocks arousal.
At the same time, we must remember that women's sexual preferences may be different. According to women's reviews, some do not like spanking on the butt as a prelude to sex: they perceive it as something humiliating. Before spanking a woman, it makes sense to familiarize yourself with her reactions to understand how sexually constrained she is. As a rule, the more complexes a person has, the less experiments and liberties he accepts in bed.
According to official research, women derive pleasure from the awareness of male power, and spanking in sex allows them to fill this need. Thanks to such actions, they feel the dominance of a man. Sometimes this is exactly what they lack in reality.
In addition, there is evidence that when spanked on the butt, women's internal muscles work in such a way that they enhance the pleasure of sex. But spankings performed incorrectly or at the wrong time will only cause ordinary pain, and nothing else.
The consequences of physical punishment in different children
The cumulative consequences depend on the complete innate set of vectors. For example:
Holders of the visual vector have a huge emotional range. Their moods are changeable, tears are close to them. If you physically punish such children, they suffer from fears and phobias, become hysterical and anxious.
Those with the sound vector are self-absorbed; they are natural introverts. Adults can get upset when such kids simply don’t hear them, and they have to repeat everything over and over again. When a sound artist loses his sense of security and safety, he withdraws even deeper into himself. Up to loss of contact with the outside world and mental illness (schizophrenia, autism). He is especially affected by the screaming that often accompanies punishment. It causes irreparable damage to the psyche due to the special sensitivity of the little sound player’s ears.
Slow, thorough carriers of the anal vector are by nature the most obedient and loyal daughters and sons. But when they grow up in a rhythm that is uncomfortable for themselves (they are rushed, interrupted, pushed on), then they can be stubborn, touchy, and argumentative. And for this reason they fall under the hot hand of adults. With physical punishment, they develop a very difficult life scenario: resentment towards their mother. And already an adult sees the whole world in black: he is offended by everyone, thinks that he has not been given enough, is not respected, is not appreciated.
Any child receives psychological trauma from beating. Modern children have a much larger psyche than the previous generation. And the susceptibility to any influence is much subtler. So is it okay for parents to hit their children? Just know that today beaten children are the killed future.
Methods of educational work
As soon as the toddler begins to move independently on his legs, he is inevitably exposed to educational influence from adults. "Do not go there! Don't pick up the poop! Get away from the TV!” – the baby does something wrong all day long. What are the types of educational measures?
Throughout its history of development, humanity has formed three educational methods:
- authoritarian;
- democratic;
- mixed.
In the first case, the child is subjected to training or drilling: he is obliged to accurately carry out all the orders of adults, otherwise he will be punished. The baby gets used to this educational style. It’s good if it is not accompanied by physical suggestions.
The democratic method involves communicating with the little one, giving him the right to express his opinion and defend his position. Parents who spare no effort in the educational process are ready for this style of communication and want to form a holistic personality with a sense of human dignity out of the child.
With a mixed style, there is “carrot and stick” depending on the circumstances. Where necessary, they tightened the nuts, where necessary, they released them. Basically, “the screws are tightened” according to the mood: when mom/dad is too lazy to explain the truths.
Results
Let's figure out why parents resort to violence against their children? Do they have the right to do this? Theoretically, they do: the baby is completely at the mercy of the adults. The dependent position gives parents the right to go too far for educational purposes at any time. However, this is simply an excuse for their pedagogical failure: mothers do not want to waste energy convincing their baby. The simplest and easiest way is to hit the butt with a swing.
The educational process is never smooth and takes a lot of mental energy from adults. However, it is important to demonstrate patience and understanding towards the little person. Why can't you hit children? Physical impact:
- harms health;
- cripples the psyche;
- provokes retaliatory aggression;
- creates a feeling of embitterment.
Many kids withdraw into themselves and try to distance themselves from the endless stream of criticism. Over time, you may end up with an uncontrollable teenager who is angry and violent. It is better not to use physical force for educational reasons.
Body access
Physical punishment has two not entirely obvious, but negative manifestations: deprivation of movement and deprivation of physical contact. The latter refers more to psychological violence, but it is often one of a number of measures that a parent takes in a state of emotional stress.
Examples of deprivation of movement are being put in a corner, or being forced to sit in your room, or going to bed at 4 pm. If being locked in a room is controversial, but not so unpleasant, then being locked in one position - standing in the corner, tossing and turning in bed, when everyone is playing football or going to the cinema - is the same dead-end remedy as slaps in the face. What are the consequences? Neuroses, overexertion, acquiring a lot of bad habits - from obsessive internal dialogue to sabotage: biting nails, pinching yourself, and so on.
Deprivation of physical contact means deprivation of parental warmth and attention for some time. It would seem that everything is logical - after all, if an adult offends us and we don’t want to see him for some time, that’s what we do. But in relation to a child, such tactics do not work.
“If they don’t talk to a child “for edification” for a while or don’t specifically notice him,” says Christina, “the parents send a rather scary message to the younger family member: “You’re not here.”
The child thinks: “If the whole world rejects you and doesn’t want to have anything to do with me, then I don’t exist.”
If you really need to cool down and collect your thoughts, do not give it in an ultimatum form, telling your child to leave you alone - leave him alone with another significant adult, and go out to get some air for a while.”
