In this article we will tell you:
- What is it for
- 12 ways to fall in love
- Signs of reciprocity
- How to understand that there is no point in continuing
In pursuit of dreams, you may not notice your faithful companion nearby, who is waiting for reciprocity. Sometimes it’s worth thinking about how to love the person who loves you, because perhaps he is the one destined for you.
For the most part, people strive to create a couple. Few people want to feel lonely. But, unfortunately, it often happens that feelings are not reciprocated. Unrequited love is not such a rare occurrence.
Is the game worth the candle?
In books and films there are not only stories about how people fell in love with each other. Non-reciprocal love also often becomes the basis for the plot, and such works often have a happy ending. Similar situations are quite common in life. Should a person who has become the object of non-reciprocal love try to arouse feelings in himself for the contender for his heart?
Why not, if a person dreams of starting a family, he understands that the one who seeks his attention suits him and inspires favor. Friendly sympathy can always be reborn into something more if it is promoted correctly. How to do this is described below.
What to do if the company of someone who is in love is unpleasant for a person and only causes irritation and anxiety? In this case, you should hardly force yourself to spend time with him, trying to fall in love. The result of such efforts will most likely be zero.
Have confidential conversations.
Do you want to make better decisions, find your ideal career, realize your maximum potential and receive instructions for individual development?
?
All this can be done using the Human Design
. Build your map and get basic transcripts for free.
The communication component is very often underestimated. It’s in vain, because it is he who perfectly brings together even people who are opposite in character or interests. Conversations about the personal and intimate help most in this direction. These are conversations about:
- fears, worries, phobias;
- shame, embarrassment, ridiculous incidents from the past;
- painful experience, psychological trauma, failures;
- childhood memories, family as a whole;
- secret desires, dreams.
This does not mean that you will have to communicate only on such topics, but it is a fact that they cannot be avoided.
Where to begin
How to love a person who loves you? First, you need to finally free yourself from relationships that are already in the past. It is especially important to pay attention to this issue if the separation occurred recently. You can’t count on a positive outcome if a person still has feelings for his former lover. Of course, it is difficult to get rid of emotions associated with previous relationships, but the process can always be speeded up.
So, before you try to love a good person, you need to force yourself to forget about the one with whom the relationship did not work out. To do this, you need to find yourself as many interesting activities as possible that will not leave time for sad thoughts and memories. You are encouraged to attend social events that will help you unwind. You can also come up with an exciting hobby, sign up for courses that promote personal growth, and so on.
Erase the line between love for life and love for people
The previous sections discussed in detail showing love and respect for people through self-confidence. This factor plays a huge role, but another aspect is no less important: how to love life and people? In this chapter, warmth towards society is defined as a consequence of an optimistic attitude towards life. There are people who notice only the positive aspects of life and all kinds of pleasures that every day provides them. Such people try to avoid negative aspects or turn a blind eye to them.
But such a line of thinking is appropriate not only in relation to love of life, but also regarding the acceptance of others. This means that in order to sincerely form a warm attitude towards people within yourself, you need to truly love all aspects of life. You should accept sleepy mornings, autumn rain and even an allergy to your favorite fruit - then you will be absolutely ready to let humanity into your life.
If you need to love a person
Let’s assume that feelings for your ex-lover no longer poison your life and do not prevent you from starting a new relationship. How to love a person for whom the object of unrequited love feels only sympathy? You should start working on this by making a list of its advantages. It is possible that the applicant has many positive qualities that make him worthy of attention. You can note his intelligence, devotion, kindness, sense of humor and so on. The longer the list of advantages, the better.
It’s great if a person likes the appearance of someone who declares their love for him. In this case, you should definitely place the photo of your chosen one in a prominent place so that you can admire him as often as possible.
Situations when you shouldn’t force yourself
Every person has a need for love, but it is not always possible to fall in love with a man and start a relationship with him. The main reason why this happens is disgust. A girl may be repulsed by the appearance, actions and even touches of an unloved person. If a woman is irritated by a man’s smell, gestures and gait, then the guy has no chance of mutual sympathy.
Psychologists do not recommend forcing yourself to love a guy, so you shouldn’t hold on to him just because you’re afraid of loneliness. An unloved person will cause pain and discomfort. Such a relationship will never be reliable and happy.
At the same time, the girl may have internal contradictions that will provoke a desire to find a more worthy candidate.
Avoid Criticism
If you want to love a person, it is advisable to pay as little attention as possible to his shortcomings. All people from time to time commit the wrong actions and say the wrong words. It is necessary to be more tolerant of the mistakes that a potential lover makes, and to concentrate on his positive rather than negative traits.
At this stage, conflicts and quarrels are the most dangerous for emerging relationships. You should not provoke them with criticism, even if some character traits of the candidate cause irritation or rejection. Of course, this does not apply to shortcomings that a person can never come to terms with. In this case, it is worth thinking about whether it is advisable to try to evoke feelings in yourself at all.
Have patience.
Cultivating love “in laboratory conditions”, and not in a natural way, is a long task that rarely happens without failures. If you have a clear desire to see everything through to the end, you will have to learn two things:
- there will be no quick results. If something occurs within a couple of weeks, it will be weak or short-lived. Quitting attempts at this stage = invalidating progress;
- mistakes and failures are normal. It is important to be able to continue actions after them, correct your mistakes, and not interrupt everything because of one or two mistakes.
Otherwise, efforts and time will be wasted without benefit for any of the partners.
Spending time together
If a girl wants to fall in love with a young man, she needs to spend time in his company more often. It is unlikely that you will be able to evoke feelings for a stranger, so you should try to get to know the candidate better. It’s great if you manage to discover common interests and start a joint hobby. Such a pastime will certainly lead to rapprochement, and more topics of conversation will appear that are of interest to everyone. Joint attendance at social events, watching films, performances, and so on is also useful.
Perhaps it is also worth deciding on a joint vacation, especially if people have known each other for a long time. Seeing a lover outside of usual circumstances, you can look at him in a new way, experience an interest that was not there before. Of course, a joint vacation in a romantic setting that evokes the right emotions is welcome.
Advice from practicing psychologists
Advising in love is an ignoble matter. But there are things that cannot be kept silent about, so it is worth considering the following recommendations from psychologists:
- Love should bring happiness, not pain and suffering.
- Romantic feelings fade over time. This can happen to both partners. If there is no affection and sympathy, you cannot force yourself to stay with an unloved person. He needs to be given freedom so that everyone can find their own happiness.
- You cannot enter into an intimate relationship just because of a man’s desire. You should not succumb to the provocation “if you love me, you will agree to this.” It must be remembered that intimate connection is not an indicator of love.
- If a girl is not sure of her feelings for the young man she is dating, she should think about it. Perhaps this is not her person.
- You can't follow the guy's lead. A girl must have her own opinion and take into account her desires and interests, otherwise the feelings will subside and the relationship will turn into a routine.
- Love is the work of both partners. To keep it, the guy and the girl must maintain the spark in the relationship.
Thanks to the recommendations of psychologists, now every girl knows how to fall in love with a guy who loves you very much. These tips will help you improve your personal life and build a strong relationship with a man.
Signs of attention
An important point is showing attention to the chosen one. It is necessary to provide the applicant with support in difficult life situations, take an interest in his problems and concerns, and show sympathy. Indifference does not contribute to the emergence of mutual feelings. Also, one cannot ignore the opinion he holds on a particular issue. It is known that the more moral strength invested in a person, the closer and dearer he becomes.
Is it possible to love a person without paying attention to the good that he does for the object of his love? Gifts, compliments, expressions of care - all this needs to be celebrated. Cultivating a sense of gratitude in yourself, talking about it out loud, makes it easier to get closer.
Of course, when paying attention to a potential partner, it is important not to forget and share with him your own experiences, thoughts, and feelings. Secrecy does not contribute to rapprochement, nor does the desire to solve all your problems on your own.
Take a sober look at the individual.
Usually the object of desire to fall in love is a person who seems almost ideal or expresses true love, care, and support. Its disadvantages either go unnoticed or are stubbornly ignored and downplayed. However, this is an illusory view. If you look at such a person objectively, it turns out that many factors were overlooked. The understanding will also come that this person is a stranger.
To test this theory, you can conduct a small experiment. For this you will need:
- take a pen and a blank sheet of paper, draw it in half;
- Write down the pros of the guy/girl in the left column, and the cons in the right column;
- opposite each quality, write at least two examples from real life when these traits were actually confirmed.
It may be surprising to note that it is not possible to select situations for all properties. This means that the person was endowed with invented qualities and does not correspond to the created image. It's better to try to get to know him first. Understanding his “down to earth” will contribute to rapprochement.
Take the compatibility test
Self-deception
If you sincerely want to love someone who is seeking attention, you can try to convince yourself that this has already happened. To do this, it is useful to behave as lovers do, to be together more often, to strive for spiritual intimacy, and to go on dates.
It is also useful to tell the world about your feelings, even if they currently exist only in the imagination of the storyteller. Let no one doubt that they see a loving couple in front of them. The more people know about the alleged affair, the better. Trying to convince others (friends, acquaintances, relatives) of your love, you can suddenly realize that it really has arisen.
Meeting the parents
What else can you do to fall in love with a young man? This is facilitated by communication with those for whom he is the best. First of all, these are the parents of a potential partner, so you should not avoid communicating with them or flatly refuse to meet them. In addition, this will help you get to know the candidate for the role of the other half better.
Of course, it is also useful to communicate with friends and acquaintances of a possible chosen one, who are also able to talk about his best qualities and help him demonstrate them.
Frankness is important
It is said above that it is necessary to refrain from criticism and try not to provoke quarrels. However, this does not mean that you need to remain silent about everything that does not suit you in a relationship, especially if we are talking about really important points that can destroy it. A frank conversation helps eliminate many problems if conducted in a calm and friendly tone. For example, you should not hide your preferences in bed from your partner, and also forget to be interested in his habits and desires.
Imagination equals love
I love everything about him: his hands, his eyes, his wrinkles, the sound of his voice. I listen... quiet steps... I jump up and run to meet him. I'm choking with delight at how handsome he is - my hero! I imagine him this way because I love him. When we love another, we imagine him as a noble knight or her as a beautiful lady. And if not, then this is not love.
For a man in love, his woman is the ideal beauty. He is ready to idolize every feature in her, excitedly telling her how amazing she is. Others will look and may not find anything special. It is hidden from us what we are like and what people around us are like. Therefore, when we love, we see only the best.
About the benefits of parting
The above describes how to love a person if such a desire arises. However, we should not forget that moderation is necessary in everything. Anyone who literally forces himself to spend a lot of time in the company of a potential partner can easily begin to feel tired and irritated. If dating begins to seem like an unpleasant chore, you should definitely press pause, take a break from communication and try to understand your own feelings.
It is possible that separation will help to understand how important a role a person in love plays in the life of the object of his attention. Perhaps simple interest has already transformed into a more serious feeling. If the desire to meet does not arise for a long time, you should not force yourself to resume dating. There is a high probability that nothing good will come of this.
Get as close as possible.
This does not mean sex, but tactile contact, frequent meetings, and, if possible, living together. When one person becomes part of the daily rituals of another, attachment develops between people. And if, after such rapprochement, one of these two leaves, breaks the chain, the other begins to experience his lack. Although before this there could only be irritation.
It is still undesirable to forcefully and abruptly fit into each other’s daily schedule. But a smooth gradual rapprochement will be beneficial.
Take a personality type test
How to properly evaluate the result
So, the answer to the question of how to love a person is obvious. However, how can you understand whether you managed to achieve your goal? This is not always easy, since love is a feeling that can manifest itself in different ways.
If doubts remain, you need to listen to your feelings while being close to your potential other half. It is wonderful if a person who recently considered himself the object of unrequited love feels comfort, lightness, and joy. Also, a hint of an emerging feeling can be the melancholy that appears during a long separation from a partner.
What to do if such emotions do not arise, although enough time has passed? This may indicate that the person in love is still the hero of someone else's novel. Therefore, it is better to tactfully break up with him, trying not to hurt his feelings, and then start looking for the real second half, which will definitely be found.
Be together more often
Banal advice, but working. When you spend a lot of time together, you get used to each other. And this helps you get to know the person even better.
Go to exhibitions, cinema, theater or just walk around the city. Find five places that you would like to visit and this month be sure to fulfill your old dreams.
You can find a hobby that you can do together. Clay modeling, dancing, learning a new language. Absolutely any activity will do. You can even just cook at home together.
