How to regain your ability to feel. What is a happy body?

Last time we discussed what the fulfillment of desires depends on. And we found out that, by and large, happiness is getting rid of stress. Today let’s go further and look at exactly how tension arises in a person – and how to get rid of it at different levels.

Our desires are determined by different levels of perception: through the body, feelings and consciousness. Each of them strives for their own sources of relief from tension:

body - for pleasure;
feelings - to joy;
consciousness - to interest.

Is your body capable of experiencing pleasure?

First let's talk about the body. This is the basis of everything, a form whose healthy functioning provides a colossal resource for fulfilling our desires. Whereas an unhealthy body, filled with fears and tension, is unable to breathe deeply and deprives us of strength and resources.

Happiness in the context of the body is primarily a physiological parameter.

Sleep, sex, food - these are the three pillars on which our physiological state rests. Three main criteria that influence our hormonal system and, accordingly, our state of happiness. Plus I’ll add any physical activity: sports, jogging, walking...

When we get enough sleep, eat healthy and with pleasure, are satisfied with our sex life, and exercise, our body produces hormones. Including dopamine, which gives us a feeling of happiness. Therefore, it is important to lead a lifestyle in which our hormonal system works for us, and not against us.

Someone frivolously says: “Oh, that’s understandable!” But at the same time, such people, as a rule, do not consciously approach all physiological processes. For example, they look at food solely as a way to lose weight or, conversely, as fuel for life. Whereas it is not only a resource and strength, but also a source of pleasure. We must not forget about this.

At the physical level, we need such a life that the body is able to experience pleasure, pleasure, and therefore relaxation. But not just any - but with a clarification: healthy. Accordingly, healthy food is one that is both healthy and tasty. Healthy sex should bring pleasure and satisfaction. Healthy sleep is when you sleep exactly as much as your body requires - no more and no less.

It's not as simple as it might seem. Look around - there are those around who are even proud: “I work so much that I sleep only four hours a day!” Others smoke a lot, abuse alcohol and justify it as a “hard life.”

I regret that these people, in fact, do not realize what they are doing. Their life runs on energy from emergency reserves, which may be needed in case of illness, stress, or other life emergencies. To cope with them, our body turns on these resources to save us. But do you have enough of them in such a life?

Do you know how to feel joy?

Next key point.
And immediately the question: why do you need happiness if you are not able to feel it? At the same time, everyone has probably said to themselves at least once: “I’ll get what I want and I’ll be absolutely happy. In the meantime, we need to be patient a little more...” Do you recognize yourself?

You stubbornly endure, and when you achieve what you want, happiness turns out to be short-lived or not felt at all, because in pursuit of the result you exhaust yourself so much that you don’t even have the strength to rejoice.

Moreover, you notice that the tension has reached such a level that any positive emotions become impossible for you. Or because a new goal immediately appears to which you need to strive, and this result is just a respite on your path. Why is this happening?

The majority of women who come to me live mechanically, by inertia, “as it should,” “as it should be.” Or they simply cannot feel joy due to accumulated fears and resentments. Someone lives as if in a sleeping state or in a state of chronic fatigue or depression.

There is another category: women who cannot or do not know how to express their feelings in a healthy way, and prefer to think things through and be restrained, supposedly “decent”, constantly controlling themselves.

All this distances them from their natural healthy state in which they are able to live life in the moment and enjoy it. If everything around you is gray and you cannot feel your true desires, it means that you simply do not have the opportunity to get something that you will truly enjoy.

But it is our ability to feel that reveals opportunities for a vibrant life. The broader your perception, the more prospects you notice (and realize them).

Loss of joy in life depends

You don't learn from your mistakes, but repeat one after another.
There is no goal in life, you go with the flow.
You are offended (read the article - how to stop being offended).
You put things off until later and accumulate a burden that weighs you down and prevents you from living.
There is no spiritual life.
You don't rest and relax.
Not my favorite job.
Laziness, boredom and indifference.
Conservatism.
Diseases. A healthy lifestyle and positive thinking, the path to health.
You live in the past (read the article - how to stop living in the past). Let go, life is here and now.
Surrounding yourself with unhappy people.

My dears, if you are unable to enjoy life, and it flies by, and you all think that someday the time will come and you will begin to live. Learn to rejoice and enjoy every moment, hour, day.

Believe me, this time will not come, and life will be postponed until later. Try to start enjoying life now, at this moment. Find 5 things in your home that will make you smile and feel joy.

Continue to do this every day, find 5 objects in your life that emit a small or large light of joy.

How to regain the ability to feel?

Accordingly, it is very important to reveal your sensory sphere. How exactly? Just two points.

First: learn to be aware of how you feel.
Second: learn to express it.

There is a wonderful practice for this - “Diary of Feelings”. Stop at least five times throughout the day and ask yourself, “How am I feeling right now? What is happening to me? What condition am I in?

Then write the result in your diary.

Surprisingly, many answer these questions extremely simply: “I don’t know.” This is a signal that there is difficulty in feeling!

Then ask yourself another question: “What am I feeling in my body now?” It will be much easier to answer. For example: “I feel heaviness in my body (tension, lightness, warmth, cold, pain, spasm” or, perhaps, on the contrary: “I am relaxed.”

Based on this feeling, try to determine what you really feel. If there is relaxation, then most likely behind it lies joy, a state of pleasure, satisfaction. Whereas tension reveals irritation, fears, and so on. Do you understand the logic?

If you do this practice for at least a month, your consciousness will automatically begin to pay attention to such things. This is the beginning of contact with ourselves. We must remember that the body and feelings never deceive!

“I don’t feel joy in life. What to do?" First edition

“I don’t feel joy in life. What to do?" - this question is often heard in the psychologist’s office. How to build your life to be happy? Why does joy leave life and how to get it back? We asked professional psychologists about this.

Shabshin Ilya Iosifovich

Individual and family counseling, working with adults

One of my former clients, a 25-year-old programmer, learned two foreign languages, independently mastered playing the guitar, his photographs collected hundreds of “likes” and so on - but he did not enjoy life because he considered himself poor and inferior due to the fact that he did not have close relationships (“but he should”). This is how his belief system was structured, that everything wonderful was devalued to zero, and non-compliance with the stereotype “like everyone else” in one parameter was elevated to an absolute. It is clear that neither this multi-talented man himself was “poor”, nor his life was “worthless”; The problem was created by the way he once chose to relate to himself (learned from his father).

We often forget that, with the exception of disturbances in the biochemistry of the brain, our judgments about life in general, our assessments of specific situations and events are not at all self-evident and objective, but are the product of our beliefs, attitudes, preferences, experience, characterological characteristics, etc. .d. It is in this psychological reality that we need to look for the reasons for the lack of joy.

Although any client comes to a psychologist with the question “What to do?”, in order to do what is needed, it is necessary to correctly understand and accurately understand what is happening and why. Based on my consulting experience, I would first consider three such options: (1) the person stopped feeling joy in life after a certain event; (2) the feeling of joy in life faded away gradually; (3) life in general is joyless. Accordingly, working hypotheses would be a reaction to trauma or loss, a discrepancy between reality and existing expectations (demands) from oneself, loved ones, distant ones, life in general, as well as a life script (early childhood decision) prescribing to live in a state of sadness and/or anxiety in this imperfect world.

The good news is that any of these options can be used successfully. Less good is that change may require serious effort, quite a lot of work. But the goal - finding YOUR joy from life - is definitely worth it!

Safyan Nadezhda Vladimirovna

Candidate of Psychological Sciences, Gestalt Therapist

What can be done to actualize a joyful state?

Realize what brings you joy. This is a very important step. All people are different, have different needs and desires, and enjoy different things. Some people are happy that they got enough sleep and spent time at home in peace and quiet, others are happy to meet friends and have a noisy party. You can make a personal list of 100 “little joys”, including different options, for example, “relaxing in nature,” “delicious dinner with a loved one,” “slide downhill,” “reading an interesting book,” “massage,” etc. .
Realize what state I am in at the moment, what I want most right now. What do you want most now: a relaxed, secluded holiday, meeting with loved ones, new experiences, involvement in a new professional activity, or maybe physical activity? What needs of mine were in the shadows for a long time and were not fulfilled? Maybe now is the time to pay special attention to them.
Select an activity that brings joy from your personal list in accordance with your current state. Joy will be most complete if it corresponds to your current state.
Go to action. At this stage, you should organize your time and activities in such a way as to enjoy joy to the fullest. Try to eliminate all obstacles that interfere with pleasure. For example, you should not organize an evening of solitude with a loved one in a state of haste and lack of time.
Enjoy the process and open up to joy to the fullest.
Thank yourself for the journey you have made and for the joy you have experienced . And maybe you will want to please yourself more often, which in itself brings joy.

If this path seems difficult to implement, another option is possible - a deeper one. Maybe events happen in life and the state of sadness, irritation, despair has become so familiar that there is a feeling that joy simply has no place in your life.

In this case, you should figure out what causes sadness, irritation and despair - with what events and facts it is connected. Maybe it's time to look at life from the perspective of the Author of life, and explore what you want to change in your life to make room for joy. This is a longer path... from understanding what I want to change to real changes and a new sense of myself... on this path there are sadness, disappointment, resentment, and fears... however, when if you start moving along it, you can already be happy for yourself, for the fact that you found the strength to change your life and listen to yourself, because you have every opportunity to live your life exactly the way you want.

We are often pleased by those close to us and those around us, but it is also very important to understand that, first of all, we ourselves can please ourselves, and it is within us that we have everything inside us to live this life, opening up to joy, regardless of external circumstances and others. of people.

Pokrovskaya Svetlana Ivanovna

Psychologist, systemic psychotherapist, career consultant

The rhythm of life, a large flow of information, time pressure, high demands on professional level, versatility of activity, constant striving for achievements, power, availability of money, status, etc. lead a person to constant stress and, in extreme cases, to exhaustion of the body, depression. Increasingly, clients come to me for career consultations with a similar request - “no desire to work, no desire to act actively, no pleasure and joy, a feeling of powerlessness, no energy.” Seeking help from professionals - psychologists, coaches, psychotherapists - will certainly help you approach this issue systematically - find and work through the factors that interfere with you personally (the reasons can be very different), find hidden resources and build your interaction with life circumstances optimally and constructively in accordance with your goals.

What can you do yourself? How not to bring yourself to complete exhaustion or get out of such a state if this has already happened?

Try to establish a balance of work and rest, sleep, physical and mental activity.

It is important to maintain boundaries: about work at work, personal relationships and communication with friends separately, to allocate time during the day only for yourself (20-30 minutes of silence in a quiet place alone with yourself, in nature, in the park will allow you to feel better and be aware of your integrity and being in the world).

Active sports activities, breathing exercises, and the use of self-regulation methods (autogenic training, autohypnosis, muscle relaxation, body and breathing therapy, meditation, etc.) are useful.

It is important to have connections with other people, maintain relationships, receive emotional support, confidential discussion of issues related to stress at work can reduce tension, anxiety and other experiences.

An excellent resource and support is connection with nature, art, God, and turning to creativity in any form.

The “stop!” rule Self-control of your emotional state is a psychological “diet” of receiving negative information through all possible channels (media, personal environment), it is necessary to reassess judgments (beliefs), focus less on the negative aspects of events and actions of others, remain optimistic and positive.

Changes and changes help: change the type of activity, change the place of work, or find the strength to grow in your position.

Find new meanings in current activities, bring a creative perspective to the work being performed (this is possible in absolutely any profession).

Ameyalli (Oksanen) Ekaterina Olegovna

clinical (medical) psychologist, consulting psychologist, family psychologist

There are times when a very unpleasant feeling arises: everything seems to be the same, but it seems as if life has lost its meaning. Previously, there was something in work/family/hobbies, but now it’s as if all the colors have faded. At such moments, it’s as if the brain applies an emergency brake: you don’t want anything, your feelings are “frozen,” and all you think about is why you even need to get up in the morning, drag yourself somewhere and do something. Here is a man who lived for himself and did not bother anyone. He thought that happiness and harmony would come when, for example, he earned money and achieved a certain status. Or maybe he wanted family and friends. And he honestly strived for these goals: he received the right education, bought many necessary and unnecessary things, found a job, started a family and friends. And suddenly this outwardly successful person becomes despondent: it seems that all this is not right. Just yesterday it was “that”, and today what he has been striving for for so long is becoming unnecessary, boring and even annoying. The saddest thing is that it is very difficult to find someone who can understand and support. After all, from the outside everything seems to be fine. Even more than that: nothing in life has formally changed, there seems to be nothing to grieve about, and it is not possible to formulate an answer to the question “what happened.” Nothing happened. That's the problem. Something important, the most important, has left my life, but what it was is a mystery. Loss of meaning is an extremely difficult experience, a real grief. But for some reason it is not customary to talk about this. As I already wrote, grief is often considered only physical loss. That is, for society to give the “right” to worry, you need to lose something that is visible to the naked eye: a loved one, a job, a home, a family. And for our psyche, the loss of meaning is no easier to experience. A person who has lost meaning quickly falls into depression. His soul is captured by vague feelings of apathy, loss of interest in life, powerlessness and hopelessness. He becomes lethargic, weak, lacking initiative. During these periods, a person is extremely vulnerable in every sense of the word. The usual way of thinking and making decisions is disrupted, and during this period you can commit rash and impulsive actions, even causing harm to yourself or others. The loss of meaning traumatizes not only the psyche, but also the body: suddenly a person can get sick. Moreover, the disease most often occurs sharply and severely, and the nature of the disease can be very unusual. It turns out that the loss of meaning is an experience so severe that it strikes on all fronts at once. And somewhere in our souls we all know how scary it is. Needless to say, the absolutely natural reaction is to run as far as possible so as not to come into contact with questions of meaning. The only problem is that they will catch up. It is impossible to “shut up” a loss; you can “put it off” by temporarily occupying your soul with something else. But the loss will not go away. She will come out with renewed vigor, so much so that it won’t seem enough. Surely you have seen examples of people who managed to temporarily contain the intensity of their internal passions, plunging headlong into vigorous activity. Women often do this through family and children, men more often go to work. These people say: “I live for him/the children,” “at work I feel alive.” And it seems like everything is as it should be, but... it turns out that they equate the meaning of their entire life with one particular area. That is, they “bet” on one thing. What will happen if such a woman’s children grow up and become independent (or her partner leaves her), and a man at forty discovers that his achievements are not enough? It will break them. In half. Everything is logical: if you put an equal sign between the meaning of your own life and one idea, then this idea becomes the most valuable in the world. If suddenly the idea collapses, the person will no longer exist. It’s the instinct of self-preservation that forces you to make any sacrifices just to preserve it. And then we get women who suffer humiliation; mothers who do not allow their children to grow up and start their own families (or demand grandchildren); men who become drunkards or have affairs with young girls. All these are attempts to fill the inner emptiness. Sometimes - at the cost of other people's lives. But such horrors happen when, firstly, we “bet” on one thing and, secondly, we do not “let go” of one meaning in time in order to let another into our lives. That is, when in various ways we run away from this issue for too long, without communicating with ourselves. And the faster we run, the more it will cover. Because it accumulates. As they say, “no matter how much you compact the garbage, you still have to take it out.” And the longer you save, the harder it will be to drag. Therefore, sometimes you need to experience a meeting with yourself. Yes, it is very difficult to be in this. So difficult it's almost impossible. But if you are “there”, then please remember: - who said that the meaning should be in one thing? Maybe the desire to live lies in balance: something for the mind, something for the soul, something for the body. Well, or this way: for yourself, for friends, for family, for work. Inner emptiness becomes unbearable when these proportions are violated, when one sphere pulls the blanket over itself, forcing us to forget about the existence of others. — the feeling of meaningfulness, integrity and completeness of life is very individual and does not directly depend on external circumstances. Sometimes these feelings come when you sit within four walls, and sometimes on the top of a mountain. There are people whose inner fire is “fed” by achievements, and for some these very successes are a direct road to depression. That’s why it’s so difficult to help someone who has lost meaning: your recipe is unlikely to suit him, he has his own. — the meaning is floating, dynamic. He doesn't stay in one place for long. First, the desire to live appears from one thing, then moves on to another. If you suddenly stop feeling it, this does not mean that “everything is decay.” This is simply an indicator that the meaning is moving. And that's okay. That's how it should be. — you must first survive the loss, and only then will the process of searching for something new become possible. Terrible things happen if we try to immediately occupy ourselves with another meaning, without giving ourselves time to say goodbye to the previous one. When the colors have disappeared, these are precisely the moments when you need to delve into yourself. (By the way: when we think that we are afraid of loneliness, what often frightens us is not that there will be no one nearby, but that we will be left alone with ourselves. Then there will be nowhere to escape from questions of meaning...). - Depression distorts reality. And she does it so cleverly that it seems as if the world is just like that - gray, dull, meaningless, dangerous. But she's lying. And you can’t do impulsive things based on what she whispers.

The world around us is infinitely diverse, it all depends on how we see it, from what angle, for example, if a person has a negative attitude, he does not know how to see joy in elementary and seemingly ordinary little things, then accordingly the world will seem cruel and gray, but the world, meanwhile, is not bad and not good - it is different, and the problem of the absence or presence of joy in life, sorrows - is a question of our attitude, view (concentration), on certain manifestations ( sides), for example, a person turns on the TV, in the news feed, a number of events were covered, but from everything he pulled out not a positive story, but an episode about a train crash, as a result, negativity accumulates, which ultimately leads to an erroneous picture peace. By the way, such people are easy prey for various kinds of totalitarian sects, where a person is controlled by manipulating the concept of “joy of life,” depending on the concept of the teaching. So how can you learn this joy of life? Well, it’s obvious that changing the world is a romantic utopia; it’s better to start changing yourself. Firstly, change your surroundings (people who are pulled not up, but down, if there are any), change (perhaps not completely), the decor in your apartment (it is known that colors have an effect on mood, self-perception, a person, not least role, for example, Red is the most exciting, Yellow evokes sympathy and positive emotions, Green is calming.

Titova Maria Yurievna

Certified psychotherapist. Person-centered method. Languages: Russian, German, English. I work individually, with adults and children.

“I don’t feel any joy in life” is, unfortunately, a fairly common expression. What is behind these words? Each of the words in this phrase can reveal its own unexpected aspects.

Let's start with "not" - denial. I'm not doing something. Something that must be done. Why should it, to whom should it? There is already a feeling of dissatisfaction in this “not”, a feeling that something is wrong. Some kind of depreciation?

Next comes the word “experience.” Experience in this context is closer in meaning to the word “feel”. I say: I don’t experience it, which means I think I should experience it, but for some reason it doesn’t work out and it’s frustrating. Question: How do I know what I should experience? Have you tried it before, but now it doesn’t work? Then it’s worth stopping at the moment when you experienced it, remembering how it was, and thinking, feeling, what has changed? Or “you have to experience it,” but I don’t. Then the answer lies in the fact that there cannot be a “need” to experience. And, if the question arises like this, then it is interesting to concentrate on what I am experiencing. Carefully, slowly, take a closer look at your feelings. Feelings experienced in the present are the main key to all the mysteries of our Soul. Of course, it is better to take a closer look accompanied by a professional who will help open access to hidden and “repressed” feelings.

The word “joy”—what kind of joy are we talking about? About the delight of the sunrise or tits playing on a branch? Or the joy of good news, the joy of a gift? Or the joy that comes from within, from the very depths, when “the Soul trembles”? The answer to these questions is important; it allows you to understand in what plane the answer to the question “what to do” lies.

And finally, the word “life”. This is the most meaningful word in the entire expression. What do I mean in this word - “life”, what do I want from “life”, am I living my “life”, am I living a full “life”? Which of these questions resonates with me, what do I want to answer, what do I want to talk about? Everyone will have their own answers. And the feelings that are associated with these answers, associations, memories that unexpectedly emerge “to the surface of consciousness.” This is where the path to answering the question “What to do” begins.

Afanasyeva Olga Mikhailovna

Practical psychologist. Additional education: NLP, Ericksonian hypnosis.

There is no joy in life when there is no sex. No matter how banal and perhaps too straightforward it may sound. Or - there is sex, but with the wrong person, or with the wrong one, or with the wrong ones, not right... in general, there is something wrong with sex, and therefore it does not bring any pleasure or joy.

If there are quite relevant life tasks, goals, the achievement of which also requires an erotic impulse, then some discrepancies literally - in terms of sex - can be smoothed out and even lose relevance altogether. Because they will fade into the background, become not very significant, etc.

But if there are literally big inconsistencies with both sex and life’s tasks, then it’s really bad. This is the main reason for the loss of joy in life.

In any case, the answer to the question: “What to do?” - look for both the cause and the solution in the named areas. It is most likely that the source of the problem is the loss of joy in life, precisely in these areas.

How to learn to express your feelings

Another important skill is to be able to express your feelings. Feel free to say out loud: “I’m so glad! I'm so excited! Because many still live under the alarming slogan “Happiness loves silence.”

But if you hide your true state, it means that instead of sending joy and happiness into this world, you are broadcasting tension and anxiety, and accordingly, the world will share the same with you in return.

Also, expressing positive emotions is often considered indecent and even unsafe, because it means opening up. Then you become vulnerable, and for many people this is truly scary.

We always choose for ourselves: to live in suffering and pain or in a state of love and pleasure. If you choose happiness, forget about fears, go through life with interest, observing all its processes and events, living every moment in maximum pleasure.

And vice versa, when you are sad, angry or irritated, know how to say this too. Never hide your feelings, express them. Just do it environmentally, so as not to offend or hurt anyone.

Usually people, if they don’t like something, tell others: “You infuriate me, irritate me!”, “What are you allowing yourself to do?” But in this way you present a claim to the person. He, in turn, in an attempt to defend himself, may begin to attack you in response or, conversely, will move away and close himself off.

To maintain contact, it is better to talk about yourself: “I’m angry, I’m irritated, I’m unpleasant, I don’t like it, I don’t want it this way!” - record this for yourself. By doing this, you not only give yourself the opportunity to live your feelings and show respect for others, but at this moment you are also honest, and therefore yourself. This is the only way you can resolve a conflict or unpleasant situation in a healthy way.

In other words, our task is not to avoid negative emotions, events and stress, but to experience them at the minute and second when they arise.

And it is imperative to show as much positivity as possible, because positive emotions not only heal, but also open up new possibilities and opportunities for us to realize our plans in our lives, expanding our boundaries of acceptance and readiness for everything that the world gives us.

Limiting programs in our minds

Let's move forward. The time has come to realize that, in addition to bodily and sensory limitations, we are influenced by attitudes or, as I also call them, negative suggestions. We receive them both from the outside world and from ourselves. This brings us to where we started: where Impostor Syndrome comes from.

So, bodily limitations plunge us into a state of unpreparedness for happiness. The inability to experience and express feelings does not allow us to have anything. And finally, consciousness, squeezed by artificial frameworks, makes us unworthy of great results.

The attitudes and programs that limit us are varied. They can be:

generic, inherited from ancestors and sitting in the subconscious. For example, if your grandfather or great-grandfather was dispossessed, then inside you probably have an attitude that living in abundance is dangerous;
own, acquired during life. They, in turn, are also divided into two parts:
coming from external sources. Here is what we “spied” on someone. For example, my parents said this all the time, but we remembered it. If a person has been taught since childhood to “be modest and keep a low profile,” then he is unlikely to take a leadership position, even if he secretly dreams of it;
accepted based on their life experience. “I was deceived, now I don’t trust anyone”, “A woman betrayed me - from now on I don’t trust all women.” And everything like that.

This is how we begin to create restrictions that slow us down. To remove them, you need to expand your consciousness by clearing it of malware.

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About little joy in life. Or how my son teaches me

It's either winter and there's not enough sun. Either there is a lot of work. But suddenly it seemed to me that there was no joy.

And here it is not, and there it is not. Just recently I was sitting next to you, but now I’m not. Maybe she decided to play hide and seek? I'll go look for her.

Somehow I don’t feel good without joy.

I remembered that joy can hide very skillfully, and you won’t notice it right away. Aw, aw... Can't see it.

I searched for a long time, I was completely tired. But when I’m tired I don’t even want to look... I’m lying down. Think. How to be? The head is smart, it will definitely find the answer.

And fell asleep. I see a clearing. Pink and yellow flowers are blooming. The sun is shining. Butterflies are flying. The breeze is rustling, so soft, so pleasant. A tree in the middle of a clearing. The wind flirts with the leaves and carries on a conversation. I didn’t hear the conversation at first, but I understood:

“There is a practice that increases the level of pleasure in life.
Having done it, you can see that:
Making yourself happy is much easier than it seems at first glance.
There is much more joy around you if you learn to notice certain things.
Some unloved things are done more pleasantly not from the “need” motive, but from the “want” motive.”

I spread my ears to 100 degrees. I listen.

“On a piece of paper we put numbers from 1 to 100. Next we write next to the numbers “Objects and actions that I love.”
We received a list of things that bring joy.
We analyze. Find 10 things that can be done in a few minutes. This is something you can add to your life now.
Doing this mindfully—understanding that you are making yourself happy—regularly take in the 10 points of joy in any proportion.”

I woke up and ran as fast as I could to write what I loved. It was difficult to. The first 50 points flew out headlong. Then a smart head helped. I sat there for an hour, but finished the list. This practice gave me sooo many discoveries.

So, when I saw cinnamon in the TOP 100 of my list, I began adding it to my morning coffee every day. And every morning was filled with additional meaning - joy.

Also on this list was something related to an unloved activity.

For example, I really don’t like cleaning, but I really love a clean kitchen (bedroom, living room, whatever).

And I realize how much pleasure it brings me. A palpable feeling of joy.

And now I’m going to wash the kitchen not for the order that should be there, not for my husband, who grumbles that it’s a mess, not for the sake of the children, so that they think that I’m a good mother (setting the right example for the children)…

But for your own sake, your pleasure and joy!

With this motivation it’s somehow more fun to do the tidying.

Yes? Do you think this is a suitable motive for your beloved?

This list is also useful to read when sadness, melancholy, or any trouble strikes.

By reading and imagining these favorite objects, you connect with them and are filled with just a little bit of joy.

The 100 Objects and Activities I Love practice has helped me find moments of joy in the simple life around me.

I started asking my loved ones: what do they love?

And I also saw how simply and without straining I can make them happy.

I was very impressed by the answer of my son, 10 years old. Among other things, he told me: “I love to love!”

Wow! What a level! This is awareness!

I'm learning from my son!

My son teaches me life!