How to understand what you want from life: psychological tests. Take everything from life

October 9, 2018
Psychology of Personality
Ekaterina Nikolaeva

Every person wants to live their life 100%. But, unfortunately, there is no template life scenario. For some, wealth will be enough. Another will prioritize starting a family and having a child. A third person can go on a trip around the world. But how do you understand what you want from life?

You need to figure yourself out

First of all, you need to answer the question: “What kind of person am I?” That is, determine your type. After this question, others immediately appear. What do you need to understand from the very beginning?

A person must accept himself exactly as he is. There are no ideal people.

You need to stop lying to yourself. How many times do people say to themselves: “I’ll start a new life on Monday.” What's stopping you from starting it on Wednesday or Saturday? That's right, people lie to themselves to delay the time of their own changes. And the reason for this is ordinary laziness. To get everything from life, you at least need to admit this lie to yourself. Without doing this, you will not be able to achieve your goals.

The following psychological test will help you understand yourself. You need to draw the problem itself on a piece of paper. Give the pros and cons of this goal. If there are more positive aspects, feel free to go for it. But do not forget that any step on the path to perfection will require a lot of strength and perseverance.

You will need to say goodbye to your past. After all, this is how a person made mistakes and felt any failures. But it is important to understand that this all happened before. The past should help you avoid making mistakes, and not give up, remembering them.

Undoubtedly, everyone has their own desires and needs in life. But what does a woman want from life? And is the opinion of girls very different from guys? In fact, if you ask this question, you will most likely get a simple answer: “Happiness.” But if we talk about women, then they have such a concept as women's happiness. It includes three main points: love, family and well-being.

The corrupting influence of the West

Few people realized that the alleged New Year's comedy "Sorcerers" is a satire about late Soviet respectability. About consumption when there is nothing to consume. About pendants with watches. About girls in white fur coats. About beautiful young people in white turtlenecks. They are ready to consume, but for this they need a magic wand, because - “plan according to the shaft” and “shaft according to the plan.” All items and services are available only to the owner of magical artifacts. Therefore, the main song here is not about the “witch river” and three white horses, but about a suit. The main thing is that he, that is, the suit, sits.

Professional sorcerers Bryl and Kovrov knew a lot about fashion, and therefore built an exact copy of John Travolta’s outfit in “Saturday Night Fever” (1977) for the main character, a film that was not shown in the USSR, but they wrote about it that it shows thoughtless pastime of the Italian guy Tony Manero - on weekends he is distracted from the disgusting everyday life at a disco. Like, a young emigrant should think about the oppressed situation. But no, he’s dancing! Chic. Wants to be the king of dances.

It is believed that after this film, a white suit combined with a black shirt became fashionable in the West. The end of the disco era! A non-trivial consonance of classical colors - black and white, but - how! There is an interesting photo with the writer Eduard Limonov in this outfit. I also happened to read that before Travolta, slightly rich African-Americans and, yes, Italian migrant workers did this. And then it fired.

In the parody and banter film “Airplane” (1980), which many in the USSR watched on video in 1985-1986, a dance in a black and white costume is played out. So Soviet viewers saw a parody without knowing the original source! But everyone recognized the three-piece suit. It turned out to be iconic and familiar. In the Soviet Union, where the option with a white suit and a black shirt entered a couple of years after the triumph of “Fever...”, this became perhaps the coolest attire for going to the registry office.

They didn’t walk down the street in this. Going to the theater was considered provocative. A little smart. Luxuriously. A white suit is a must. All this smacks of sybarism and bourgeois Dolce Vita. This is not possible for every day. Just get married. That is! Once in a lifetime, like the white bride's dress with ruffles and flounces. The magic of the moment. The sorcerers clearly emphasize: Ivan must appear at the ball in the guise of a ready-made foreign groom. Which is what he did. And everyone understood: now they will definitely get married! Of course, he looks like a foreigner from America.

Target selection

A person cannot become better if he does not know his true desire. Setting a life goal is an important step, at least in order to understand what you should strive for. The goal you set will give you direction. How to understand what you want from life? After all, people live this life aimlessly. And many never become happy just because they don’t know what to strive for. You should think that life itself gives hints on what to do in a given situation. But if you don’t know the direction, a person will never understand these signs of fate.

Imagine your perfect day

You need to start small. Think through this day to the smallest detail. Starting from the moment you opened your eyes. What will you eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner. You will drive your own car yourself, or you will have a personal driver. What kind of woman will you have and so on. This is what you will need to strive for until you are able to recreate this picture. To get into a more relaxed state, it is recommended to turn on music and find a comfortable position. Next, close your eyes and try to imagine each of your words.

Preparation

Spend 30-60 minutes every day for a week to analyze your current situation. Don't expect to be able to do everything in one sitting.

Create the right environment to concentrate and throw yourself into your work. Close your browser, turn off the Internet, or block all devices altogether. Find a comfortable place. Perhaps headphones and calm music will help you relax. Keep a notepad handy so you can take notes as you go, jot down interesting ideas and anything else that comes to mind.

You know better than anyone what helps you get into a state of flow. Do it.

Be sincere, courageous and even selfish. Don't lie to yourself. You do all this analysis only for yourself and for no one else. What you get in the end depends on how you work on it.

And one more thing: it is not necessary to strictly follow the plan outlined by Steve. You can follow all four steps in sequence or focus on just a few. If you don't want to answer a question, just skip it and move on.

Perhaps this system will not help you find the meaning of life and solve global problems. But the author promises that you will start the year with a clearer understanding of what you want to achieve and where you need to go.

Let go of your imagination

Now you should go back to real time. Take a piece of paper and answer these questions for yourself:

What do I want in life?
What do you want to get (a mansion, a premium car, etc.)?
What gives you pleasure?
Do you have envy towards people? If yes, then why exactly?
What do people want from life? Compare the dreams of your friends or someone in your family. Perhaps your goals will be common.

There can be many more questions in this simple test. But it is the answers that will help answer the question of how to understand what you want from life.

Can't achieve my goal

A lot of people say, “I just want to enjoy life.” But to find your true desires, you need a main goal, as well as subgoals to achieve it. This is what will serve as an impetus on the path to enjoying life. What comes to mind is that you have chosen the wrong plan to achieve your goal in life. Maybe the wrong path to your cherished desire was chosen. Or maybe this is not a desired goal in life at all? Many people do not know how to listen to their own subconscious. This is how a person can find the answer to any question.

Take your life to full screen mode

Imagine that any task you do - work, answering email, washing dishes or reading - is expanded to full screen. There is only this task, you see nothing except it. If you expand every task to full screen, life will be much less stressful.

When you fully concentrate on any task, it turns out much better, and you experience pleasure while doing it.

For example, try washing the dishes without being distracted by the TV, conversations or thoughts in your head. Your movements will become precise and controlled, and you will really start to enjoy it.

What are consciousness and subconscious?

Consciousness is just the tip of the iceberg. Everything else that a person may not even think about or understand is the subconscious. With the help of consciousness, a person makes decisions, experiences the world and sets goals and desires. But it is influenced by any external factors. Let's imagine that the goal that a person sets for himself is really true. But subconsciously he is looking for ways to prevent this. This is the work of the subconscious.

But this does not mean that the subconscious mind interferes with you. Most likely, you have fear and uncertainty about this. And that is why it is looking for ways to achieve the true goal. That is, if deep down in your soul you are afraid of change, then the subconscious is looking for ways to get it. Thus, it indicates existing fear. But if you learn to correctly draw up an action plan and set the right goals, the subconscious will provide answers to all questions. Things will appear in life that a person had not noticed before, but they were very close. How to understand what you need in life? You need to learn to hear the subconscious, which is the key to any door. The subconscious makes up 90% of the psyche. It stores all knowledge and experience. After all, a person who once learns to swim will never forget how to do it. It is the subconscious that stores everything that happens in life.

And let the whole world wait. Where did the phrase “And let the whole world wait” come from?

“And let the whole world wait...” We are so accustomed to the flow of advertising on television that sometimes we don’t even notice the words and are only surprised if we hear familiar phrases outside of prime time.

Where did the phrase “And let the whole world wait...” come from?

For many, the 90s of the last century became a time of rampant crime, difficult living conditions, the first foreign TV series, Disney cartoons, and then some naive advertising of Stimorol chewing gum, Milky Way chocolates, Galina Blanca bouillon cubes, and the chemical “Invite.” Not all of them have survived to this day, but the French one, which appeared on the Russian market in 1992, feels great in our country today, and the words “And let the whole world wait” that quickly became familiar, which accompanied the advertising of this company’s Danissimo curds, soon became part of the everyday speech of Russians. They were used by scriptwriters, conversational actors, KVN participants and ordinary people, allowing themselves to relax and laugh at least a little at the rather difficult living conditions of that time.

In 2013, the slogan “And let the world wait” appeared in an advertisement for a product that may be less healthy than cottage cheese, but very beloved by many, as Corona beer.

Currently, other slogans are used in Danissimo advertising, but the memorable phrase continued to live outside of advertising. Over the past few years, the well-established expression “And let the whole world wait” has been actively used by Internet users also as memes that ridicule the inappropriate behavior of people who do not take into account the interests of others, for example, pedestrians who stop in the middle of the road and impede vehicular traffic.

In 2016, the spectacular phrase received its third breath - singer Sergei Lazarev used it in the Russian version of the song “Only one”, which he performed at Eurovision, although in a slightly modified form “And now let the whole world wait.”

Let's have happiness

A person who has a lot of desires has a lot of energy. It is our goals that serve as the best motivation for development and help us overcome all kinds of obstacles. But there are also people who do not use their opportunities and do not fully reveal their potential. And the unrealized potential begins to crush them with its energy. Therefore, you should listen to your desires. It is important to know that not every dream or goal is personal. There are also imposed goals. These are called public.

Often people want to get everything at once and avoid a series of mistakes. Every person makes mistakes and goes through it. Yes, it is human nature to make mistakes. But admitting a mistake will serve as good motivation to give your best, and in the future it will not happen again. After all, if you don’t make mistakes, you have to wait a long time for many things to be realized. Never be afraid to strive for your goal; a loser is the one who gives up without trying.

Very often a person is on the threshold of “I want” and “I can”. These are too different concepts. “I can” is what is available at the moment. And “I want” means future skills and opportunities. A person receives and learns this along the way to his cherished goal. Nothing makes a person stronger than understanding a clear route to your dream.

A goal differs from a fantasy in that a goal is a reality. And fantasy is just children's dreams. As a rule, a goal is a real path to a dream, with all the difficulties and steps. And fantasy will always remain her. Usually there is no action after it.

To get to your goal, you need to have a clear action plan and route. And the sooner a person manages to achieve this, the sooner he will find happiness.

The period when you don't want anything

Many people are often faced with a reluctance to do anything. If this is not an advanced form, then people often cope with apathy on their own. However, if this is a longer period and the person becomes worse, then it is necessary to contact a medical professional. In any case, it is necessary to identify the causes of decline in morale and depressed psychological state. And also why the thought appeared: “I don’t want anything from life, what should I do?” Only a specialist can give a more accurate and correct answer.

The most common type of apathy is depression. There can be a lot of reasons for this. Starting from problems at work and ending with a quarrel between spouses. In this case, a change of environment will help. It is also recommended to spend more time with close friends. They contribute to a speedy recovery.

Analysis

Step 1: Write down all the important moments and life stages

Steve always begins his review of the past year by creating a table. There he enters all the important things that have happened over the past 12 months. Such important moments can be any achievements, events, actions.

Here are some ideas for what to include: You took a course, picked up a new habit, broke up a relationship, took a big risk, fell in love, found a new friend, received a bonus or promotion, had an unforgettable vacation. What were your personal highlights?

Step 2. Analyze and think about what you wrote

Now that you have a complete account of your life, the real work begins. Below are a series of questions to help you make sense of it all. Be prepared to take an open look at your successes and failures, relationships with people, life lessons, and what made you think deeply. Take your time, be honest and enjoy the process.

Success and growth

What were your 2-3 biggest accomplishments?
Are there any achievements that you are proud of?
Describe your personal growth over the past 12 months. What changed?
Have you been able to form good habits?
What new skills have you learned?
What were the biggest challenges you overcame? What exactly happened? What internal and external resources did you have to use?
What were your 2-3 best decisions over the past period? What did this teach you?
What risks did you have to take and what came out of it?

Failures and failures

What were your biggest mistakes? What lessons did you learn from them?
What goals were not achieved? What got in the way?
Have you developed any bad habits?
What were the 2-3 worst decisions you made in the past year? What lesson did you learn from this?
What did you plan to achieve last year but didn't achieve? What can you do for this in the new one?
Where have you wasted too much time and other important resources?

People and relationships

What new relationships have appeared in your life? How did this happen?
Which person has had the greatest impact on you (positive or negative) over the past year?
What connections are most valuable to you personally and professionally? What makes these people different?

Lessons and reflections

What are the most important life lessons you've learned over the past year?
What were the turning points? How did you overcome them? What have you learned?
What was the worst moment?
How can you describe the past year in 5-7 words?
What are you most grateful for?

Step 3: Evaluate your life

Remember: it's hard to know where to go if you don't know where you are. To do this, Steve Schlafman suggests assessing 10 areas of your life—health, friends, love, money, career, spirituality, personal growth, entertainment, technology, and environment—and recording the results in a spreadsheet.

The rating depends on your level of satisfaction. This should be the current state of affairs: do not try to remember what you experienced before or what you want in the future. Think about how things are now.

The purpose of this exercise is not to make you feel inferior, but to help you see the imbalance and get rid of it.

How does the rating system work? Give each area a score from one to ten depending on your satisfaction. One point means “completely dissatisfied,” ten means “it couldn’t be better.” Remember, it is important to remain honest with yourself.

Here are some questions to help fill out the table:

Health. How do your body and mind function? Assess your energy, nutrition, sleep, physical activity, mood, mental state and everything else related to health.
Family and friends. What do you think about your relationships with loved ones, friends, colleagues?
Love. What about the romantic side of your life? This includes relationships with a loved one, spiritual intimacy and sex.
Money. How are things going with finances? Assess your income, expenses, debts and degree of financial freedom.
Career. How do you feel about your work and professional development? Analyze your current position, status, career strategy, field of activity, work-life balance, relationships with colleagues.
Spirituality. Is your mind occupied by something more than everyday concerns? It is about religion and beliefs, rituals, meditation, various spiritual practices and self-expression.
Personal growth. How much time do you devote to self-improvement: reading, studying, practicing, training?
Entertainment. How much time do you spend on rest? This includes various events, concerts, travel, walks and anything that seems interesting to you. Is this enough for you?
Technologies. How attached are you to devices, how much time do you spend on the Internet and is it easy for you to give it up? Evaluate all the advantages and disadvantages.
Environment. What do you think about the material environment? We're talking about your living space, country, city and work space.

Steve shared his results:

Remember that the exercise is not aimed at scoring a perfect ten in all respects. Take a close look at the results in your spreadsheet and select the areas you want to focus on improving over the next 12 months. It is better if there are no more than three.

Step 4: Make a plan for next year

You have reached the final step. The time has come to chart the direction of development. You have to think about the following questions.

Goals and growth

What are your top three goals to achieve this year? Why are they important?
What 2-3 new skills will you gain?
What is your greatest talent that will help you achieve your goals?
How do you plan to change by the end of the year?
What do you want to become?

Forward movement

What is high time to throw away?
What no longer benefits you?
What should you give up?

Habits and actions

What habits or behaviors do you want to break? Identify no more than three.
Which ones do you want to buy?
Which ones do you plan to continue to develop in yourself?

Obstacles and fears

How will you step out of your comfort zone and fight your fears?
What obstacles will you face? How will you overcome them?

Relationship

Who in your circle deserves more attention?
Who do you want to build a new relationship with?
Who can you mentor? Who will you help?

Planning

What other steps can you take to achieve your goals? Be specific.
What resources are needed for this?
Who should I turn to for help?
How can you achieve the first small results that will set the pace for further success?
How will you measure your progress?

At the end of this stage, you will achieve greater clarity and have your own detailed plan for how to get the most out of life in the new year.

Ways to combat depression

If you turned to a medical professional to get out of this state, you will need to make an effort too. To feel the joys of life again, you should make the determination that you need to take everything from life, and not waste time on sadness and frustration. Treatment options will depend on the cause of your depression. It is often possible to get out of the state of apathy on your own, but it will take a lot of effort to do this. An excellent choice would be to change your environment and spend more time with your close circle of people. But if you cannot do without a psychiatrist, then the first sessions will be devoted to the manifestation of the initial stage and the establishment of the causes of occurrence.

As practice shows, people who most often fall into depression are those who have lost their job or a loved one. The patient is prescribed a course of treatment with tablets (sedatives). The main method of therapy will be conversations with a medical specialist. But don’t forget about your own settings. Setting a goal to get everything out of life will significantly shorten your recovery time.

conclusions

If you want to live in harmony with yourself and succeed in life, then you need to be selective. You need to focus on what is valuable and meaningful specifically to you. To do this, you need to set priorities and determine goals in life. All our passions, hobbies, thoughts and actions should line up in one line. They must be interconnected. Only under this condition can one realize oneself and assert oneself. If you spread yourself thin on everything, you will end up not succeeding in anything.

Focus on quality, not quantity. Delve into the essence of any matter, analyze everything down to the smallest detail, study in depth. Don't give in to manipulation, live consciously. To do this, you must understand yourself, listen to yourself. Don't waste your energy, time and money on what you don't really need. Think about how you go to the grocery store. You don’t buy everything, but choose what you like or is not harmful to your health. You will not take anything that will cause allergies or worsen stomach function. It should be the same in life.

Life at 100%

Set your priorities. A reasonable person, of course, will understand that he will not be able to take everything at once. If you are determined to get an answer to the question: “How to understand what you want from life?”, It’s worth thinking about what exactly is included in your personal concept of all this. For some it is material wealth, for others it is a rich spiritual life. There are many options, so make a rough list of what you want.

Create bounding boxes. Often in the race for pleasure, people lose control. If you blindly follow the rule that you need to try everything in life, there can be dire consequences. There is an opportunity to get new sensations in a parachute jump, as well as in the use of illegal drugs. Therefore, you should set your priorities correctly.

Expand your social circle. Dating can open up something new in the familiar. Interesting people can take you to different places and show you much more beautiful things. Such people will be useful in all areas of life: from professional to personal space.

Expand your horizons. Life is subject to whoever owns the information. It's never too late to learn new things. Study the history of different countries, the cultures of peoples, read books that develop personality. Without knowledge, life will become gray and monotonous. The more developed a person is, the more opportunities are open to him.

There is no need to focus on achieving one goal. This approach is a direct path to failure in other areas. You need to develop and achieve goals in different areas of life, without giving preference to one thing. People often do not know their true purpose in life. For example, a decision was made to visit a desert island, but preparation for this trip will take a long time. While this time passes, there is an opportunity to succeed and take many delights from life.

Don't deny yourself. Of course, this rule must be followed within reasonable limits. If a person’s budget allows him to decide to purchase the desired car, it is recommended to make such a purchase.

Health is the main component on the path to what you want

Remember that any jewelry and other material goods will not make you happy and will not help you achieve the desired result without good health. In pursuit of the delights of life, do not lose your mind, be responsible and attentive to your own safety. As a rule, an intelligent person will always find his place in life. And he will be able to live it with dignity. A well-set goal and clear instructions for achieving it will make a person happy. Don't let negative emotions take over your life. Everyone has one life, and it’s worth living in such a way that you don’t want anything. A person can do everything, but sometimes he simply lacks his own desire, drive or motivation.