Good day, dear readers of my blog! Recently, the word perfectionist has begun to appear frequently in everyday life, and many are wondering - who is this? Today I will reveal in detail the definition of this word and talk about the positive and negative traits of this type of personality. In the article you will also see several photos that illustrate figuratively speaking “Hell” and “Heaven” for a perfectionist.
The meaning of the word perfectionist
The word perfectionist comes from the English perfect, which means perfection. But since there are no perfect people, perfectionists simply strive for this.
Perfectionism can be either an adequate personality trait or a deviation from the norm; in this case, it is a neurosthenic form. In Tal Ben-Shahar's book “The Perfectionist Paradox,” these types are called adaptive and maladaptive perfectionism.
There are several types of perfectionism:
- self-directed: the desire to be ideal;
- directed towards others: high demands on others;
- peace-oriented: the belief that the world should conform to certain rules and laws.
Some people believe that perfectionist and idealist are synonyms, but these are concepts from different areas and there is not much in common between them.
Ambitious smart guy, subspecies “snob”
In the 19th century, snobs were people who wanted to belong to high society and followed the currently popular “fake it 'till you make it” attitude. They led a lifestyle corresponding to high society, were interested in elite art, communicated on high-secular topics and distanced themselves from everything common and worldly to the best of their ability. It was precisely attempts to move away from the simple, mass and worker-peasant culture, as well as a disdainful attitude towards the “lower class” that made a person a snob and the butt of jokes.
Examples of snobs:
Becky Sharp ("Vanity Fair" by W. Thackeray) - used her French origin to appear superior to her surroundings in the girls' boarding school.
Ellochka the cannibal (“The Twelve Chairs” by I. Ilf and E. Petrov) used her last money to buy furniture to furnish her apartment in accordance with the pictures from fashion magazines.
Jourdain (“The Bourgeois in the Nobility” by Molière) tries to imitate the noble class in order to impress his beloved, the Marquise Dorimena.
A modern snob, as a rule, is indignant at the poverty of taste, narrow views and low level of erudition of ordinary people. Sometimes he obsessively, in a condescending manner, tries to instill in those around him a taste and interest in the “high”, be it art, fashion or leisure options.
A perfectionist's paradise
There are many photographs on the Internet on the topic “heaven and hell for a perfectionist.” Here I have selected the most striking examples. Perhaps this name is somewhat exaggerated, but there is, of course, some truth in this.
In the “perfectionist’s paradise” pictures, everything is neat and harmonious. Each item is in its place, everything must match in shape, size and color.
Who are pseudo-intellectuals
To understand this issue, you must first understand who is called an intellectual. According to Ozhegov's explanatory dictionary, this is a person Ozhegov's Explanatory Dictionary online with a highly developed intellect. Not to be confused with an intellectual (Ozhegov's Explanatory Dictionary online) - a mental worker in the fields of science, technology and culture. The word “intellectual” itself came Historical Dictionary of Gallicisms of the Russian Language into the Russian language from French in the 90s of the 19th century.
Accordingly, a pseudo-intellectual is someone who wants to be known as a person with developed intellect and extensive knowledge, but is not a Pseudo-intellectual. Merriam-Webster.
Pseudo-intellectualism is often talked about in cases where people use knowledge as a means of self-affirmation, especially on the Internet. This may refer to demonstrative reading of books, ridiculing the “narrow-minded” majority, mocking mistakes in writing, and inappropriate use of foreign words. In general, we are talking about a kind of snobbery of individuals who aggressively prove their point of view even when no one asked about it.
It is worth mentioning here that intelligence by definition is Intelligence. Large psychological dictionary. - M., 2007 can only be a criterion for assessing a person by other people. That is, only those around you can recognize you as an intellectual, and not you yourself, which, obviously, pseudo-intellectuals do not agree with.
Hell of a perfectionist
If an ordinary person looks at photographs of the “hell of a perfectionist,” he may not notice anything, or some obvious disharmony will slightly hurt the eye. But for a perfectionist, this is truly a nightmare.
Causes of perfectionism
Perfectionism develops from early childhood. If parents show love and praise to a child only during his successes, then most likely he will grow up to be a perfectionist. At school, such children are afraid of getting a bad grade, as this may cause parental disapproval. Sometimes even a B can instill horror in them, which is why perfectionism is often called the “excellent student syndrome.”
As a rule, men are more at risk of becoming a perfectionist, since high expectations are placed on them from childhood. A man is the future head of the family, which means he is responsible for his wife and children. Therefore, from childhood, the stronger sex becomes demanding of itself and others.
But sometimes women put an unbearable burden on their fragile shoulders and try to be perfect in all areas of life: family, career, appearance, etc. This often happens because of movies and magazines. After looking at beautiful images, a woman has a dream to live up to these ideals in everything. But in real life, unlike on television, it is impossible to be perfect in everything.
How to recognize a pseudo-intellectual
“Knows everything,” but formally and superficially
Often pseudo-intellectuals are familiar with a topic at the level of a quick glance through a Wikipedia page. This helps them “know” about everything and confidently share their opinions without any relevant education or experience, as well as discuss books they haven’t read and movies they haven’t seen.
Pseudo-intellectuals love to reason aimlessly, starting from scratch and ultimately not coming to any conclusion. They jump from topic to topic, from reference to reference, confusing others and confusing themselves.
Making sense of this mess of thoughts, quotes, terms and concepts is difficult, if not impossible.
It often happens that a person, being well-versed in a certain area (for example, technology), tries to apply his knowledge and experience when discussing other areas (say, medicine or art). However, some things may simply be incorrect to compare, and for a knowledgeable person, the conclusions of a pseudo-intellectual will look one-sided and clumsy.
It is impossible to convince a pseudo-intellectual
Usually a pseudo-intellectual is 100 percent sure that he is right. He does not question whether his conclusions are correct, and does not evaluate his knowledge critically. However, he will definitely doubt any argument of his opponent - for example, finding fault with the accuracy of terms or challenging the formulation.
The pseudo-intellectual will reject any argument that contradicts his opinion. The fact that falsifiability is an important and generally accepted element of any knowledge is of little concern to him. He ignores some authorities and concepts, but idolizes others, especially those in fashion. For example, he may claim that Tolkien is “our everything,” and Rowling is pop and commercial, or vice versa. And often such a connoisseur of fantasy literature draws conclusions only from film adaptations.
Pseudo-intellectuals generally love to throw around big names and quotes. Schrödinger, Heidegger, Freud, Kafka, Bulgakov, Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, Brodsky, Lynch, von Trier - this is just a small list of “authorities” or “mediocrities” for them. Moreover, they do not consider it necessary to become directly acquainted with the works of these people.
Can't clearly explain what he's thinking about
Pseudo-intellectuals, as mentioned above, love to find fault with definitions. They themselves are not averse to expressing their thoughts in such a way that it will be impossible to understand it without a dictionary of scientific terms. “Existence”, “sublimation”, “identity” and other similar lexemes appear with enviable frequency in their speech, appropriately and inappropriately.
For pseudo-intellectuals, the main thing is external scientific appearance, and not internal content. However, they forget that a simple explanation is not at all a sign of ignorance and profanity, but quite the opposite.
Among physicists and engineers, for example, a popular phrase is: “If you can’t explain something to a child, you don’t understand it.”
The famous physicist Richard Feynman, in his speech Feynman RP Cargo Cult Science to students at California Tech University, called the view of things characteristic of pseudo-intellectuals the science of airplane worshipers. He compared people who value form over substance to the Melanesian aborigines who built airplanes out of straw in the hope that it would help them receive “gifts from heaven.” Feynman emphasizes that knowing words does not bring a person closer to true knowledge.
Refers to false sources and authorities
Superficial knowledge does not allow pseudo-intellectuals to apply convincing evidence. Therefore, they are happy to give private, meaningless examples. Auto mechanics say that you shouldn't change gears in a car with an automatic transmission while driving? But the pseudo-intellectual has done this a hundred times. Science says Commission to Combat Pseudoscience and Falsification of Scientific Research. In defense of science. — M., 2022, that homeopathy doesn’t work? But the neighbor was “cured” with her help.
And yes, pseudo-intellectuals often (though far from always) believe in numerous alternative theories such as new chronology or bioenergetics.
In the process of discussion, he leaves the essence of the issue
Since the pseudo-intellectual cannot really prove anything, he will insist that you prove it to him. He can also resort to demagoguery, generalizing the non-generalizable and replacing concepts. Being pressed to the wall by arguments, he will begin to evade the answer with the help of provocations, sarcasm, trolling, and peremptory statements.
In extreme cases, pseudo-intellectuals resort to insults. And all because in a dispute they are not looking for truth, but self-affirmation.
Personal qualities of perfectionists
Like any personality type, perfectionists have their positive and negative sides. The following are the most common signs:
- the desire to do everything perfectly;
- meticulousness;
- increased attention to detail;
- painful perception of criticism;
- excessive demands on oneself and others
Positive traits
The main positive trait of a perfectionist is hard work and self-improvement. Such people painstakingly hone their skills in their chosen field and do not stop until they achieve the best results.
Many famous people have achieved success precisely because of this quality. For example, Steve Jobs. He was demanding of his employees and the quality of work performed. According to his instructions, even hidden microcircuits were given an aesthetic appearance. This list also includes Leo Tolstoy, Nietzsche, Kant, Alexander the Great, etc.
Perfectionists are good workers. If you entrust him with a task, you can be sure that it will be completed efficiently. But you should not give him work that needs to be done urgently, since due to excessive care, the completion may take a long time.
Perfectionists are neat and clean. Their desk is always perfectly tidy; you won’t see creative chaos on it, like many workers. Their home is always in impeccable order, everything is in its place and arranged on shelves.
Negative qualities
Perfectionists have a very difficult time in family life. In their subconscious there is an unattainable ideal of family, and if suddenly something does not correspond to this image, then attempts begin to remake their household members. This is where the problems begin, since it is practically impossible to re-educate people, they become frustrated and irritable.
Another negative impact of perfectionism is the fear of not being able to cope with the work or doing it poorly. A person who is overcome by such fear is called a procrastinator. The life credo of such people is: “Either everything or nothing.” As a rule, perfectionist procrastinators do not even start work if they know that they cannot do it flawlessly.
Due to the constant desire to achieve the highest success, such people stop enjoying even good results. They always feel like they need to do even better. This causes emotional exhaustion and often leads to stress and depression.
How does the spotlight effect work?
There are several common scenarios for how the spotlight effect works in everyday life. For example, if you are often alone with yourself in public places: going to a cafe, walking in a park or a shopping center, you may feel as if everyone else is watching you. At such moments, many of us tend to think that we are attracting public attention with our loneliness and occupying their thoughts. The spotlight effect may be due to an incorrect assessment of the situation and the feeling that the whole world is pitying you, mocking you and even trying to shame you.
The “spotlight effect” can also manifest itself in other ways. For example, if you tend to attribute to yourself awards that do not exist, or exaggerate your merits and achievements. Inflated self-esteem and overconfidence in one's own success are also not considered healthy behavior.
People who are susceptible to this cognitive distortion have a much harder time connecting with other people over time and avoid companies. The fear of receiving a negative assessment from others turns their life into endless torture, full of worries and doubts.
How to stop being a perfectionist
People whose lives are marred by excessive perfectionism are interested in the question: how to become less demanding of yourself and others? In this regard, psychologists give the following recommendations:
- Set your priorities. It should be understood that it is impossible to succeed in all areas. Choose the most important goals, and do not waste your nerves and energy on unimportant things.
- Learn to enjoy any results. The world is not only black and white (success or failure), but also in-between. Even if the result does not meet your expectations, you can simply enjoy the rewarding experience.
- Even if you are still far from an ideal image or your loved ones do not meet your expectations, everyone has good qualities and successes, even small ones. Don't just focus on the negative, don't forget to celebrate when you see something good.
- Get plenty of rest. Perfectionists are susceptible to overstrain and exhaustion, as they work and work on themselves almost without interruption. Set aside at least 1 day a week that you dedicate to rest. Try meditation or yoga to relieve nervous tension.
Probably everyone could recognize someone they know in this description, or perhaps you yourself are a perfectionist. I hope you were able to learn something useful from this article, then add it to your social networks and share with friends. Sincerely, Ruslan Tsvirkun.
Sage
In a time when there was no Internet, telephone, telegraph, and books were “written” on cave walls or wooden tablets, there lived one man who knew the answers to all questions. People came to him from all over the earth and asked and asked... Why does the earth rotate? How many stars are there in the sky? What is the legal limit of blood alcohol for a driver? Although no, they probably didn’t ask about the latter, but it doesn’t matter. It is important that this man answered all the questions thoroughly and intelligently and never said: “I don’t know.” People were amazed and called this man a sage, that is, not just smart, but possessing the highest wisdom. In fact, the man was not a sage, he simply had knowledge.
What does a petty person mean?
Pettiness is a person’s tendency to attach great importance to the unimportant, to pay increased attention to trifles, as a result of which the essential remains unnoticed.
A petty person is someone who overlooks important things and pays too much attention to details. His life is filled with vanity, petty troubles, and worry over trifles.
Details fill the mind of a petty person so much that the true state of affairs does not form in his head. Excessive pickiness prevents such a person from rising above the hustle and bustle, feeling the taste of life and achieving success in it.
Pettiness, like any extreme, can lead to various life problems. A petty person can carefully monitor the order in the house without noticing the psychological problems of his family members. For him, a child’s homework done correctly is an order of magnitude higher than children’s conflicts with classmates. Everyday little things take up time from a picky person and deprive him of psychological sensitivity.
Petty people are overly sensitive; they are often touchy and vindictive. All this can arise due to the fact that someone turned away from them in a difficult moment, showed inattention, insulted them with a cruel joke, or left them without praise at the right moment. But in fact, the reason for the appearance of pettiness in character must be sought much deeper...
What's hidden in a smile
When someone smiles with a genuine smile, you can see small wrinkles around their eyes and lips. And also, when a person is overcome by emotions, he often swallows. If the joy is false, then the lines will appear only around the lips, but not around the eyes. And of course, there can be no talk of any swallowing with a fake smile.
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How does a person eat
People who cut their food into small pieces strive for long-term relationships or try to live according to their strict plans. On the other hand, those who mix the food on the plate are usually very strong and responsible.
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People who finish their meals quickly may be multitasking. And they are usually highly valued by employers for their abilities and the fact that such employees rarely miss work and are always thinking about the future. In contrast, people who tend to eat slowly live in the moment and know how to enjoy every moment.
Completion
And that’s all for today, dear readers! Subscribe to the site, here you will find a lot of articles on various topics. Share them with your friends, take tests together and write to us what else you would be interested in learning about. Your opinion is important to us, let's create something beautiful and useful together!
Take care of yourself and be happy! Then there will be absolutely no room for irritation, especially that which arises over trifles!
The material was prepared by psychologist, Gestalt therapist, Alina Zhuravina
