Psychological techniques of influence: on people, partners, interlocutors

Every person falls under someone’s influence, whether consciously or not: even the universal desire to be like others, not to be different from peers is the influence of stereotypes that are considered a standard. The “herd instinct” is also taken into account in the creation of commercials, thereby forcing people to buy completely unnecessary things. This is the basis of the psychology of influence, which implies methods and techniques that allow one to effectively influence the psychological state of an interlocutor or a group of people in order to achieve a goal.

Psychology of mechanisms

People living nearby constantly influence each other, pursuing personal motives. From birth, the baby masters techniques of psychological influence on parents through screaming, and then others.

When communicating with each other, people often influence the thoughts of the interlocutor without even realizing it. Psychological influence is certain mechanisms that can model the consciousness of an individual. They are divided into 2 groups.

Household methods of manipulation.
Special: coding, trance, hypnosis.

Influences, both everyday and special, have one common basic element. Its essence lies in studying the nature of the individual, understanding behavioral characteristics, reactions to a stress factor.

Contagion is a mechanism of simultaneous empathy and the general mental state of partners.

Psychological characteristics:

is non-verbal in nature
manifests itself spontaneously as an internal mechanism of behavior
has an unconscious basis
only works in a specific situation
is of a short-term nature
the effectiveness of infection is related to the number of partners (the more partners, the more effective the infection mechanism is). Negative – panic, positive – laughter.
works only in the emotional sphere

Basics

The basis of methods of influencing people is the use of personality traits. It is very easy for an observant individual to carry out manipulations. One of the most common techniques is pressure on pity. Every person masters it in infancy.

You can influence people by using the following features of human nature:

weaknesses;
hidden motives and desires;
change of consciousness, effect of surprise;
intelligent manipulation.

How does psychological influence work?

To achieve the desired result, you need to influence a person constantly and persistently. The best example of such an influence on consciousness is advertising. In the 20th century, its means were posters and signs, which were easy to ignore. But with the development of television and other media, advertising has become a separate art form.

Commercials not only demonstrate the qualities of a product, they shape people’s worldview and attitude towards a certain situation. Through a short video you can shape public opinion, cause joy, anger, and mistrust. These types of advertising include political and social. They influence the subconscious, appealing to emotions. Repeated repetition of commercials makes viewers doubt their own opinions and act as the advertisement suggests. Manipulation of public opinion allows you to gain the support of people in a non-violent way, simply by presenting information in such a way that they see benefit in it for themselves.

Weaknesses

Everyone has their own weakness. Often, knowing about a particular event in a person’s life, we unconsciously try to influence his choice, motivating him to take an action that is beneficial to us. Everyday psychological influence is based on this. The main technique of influencing a partner is the manipulation of pity. It involves inflicting psychological pain. Almost no one can resist him, so people agree to implement certain guidelines even contrary to their desires and principles.

The compliment should be brief, contain one or two thoughts, and should not contain teachings.

Ambiguous phrases must be avoided. Compliments should be given as often as possible. It is through practice that ease and ease in a compliment are achieved, which makes it natural and irresistible. A compliment begins with the desire to give it. Find what you personally like about your interlocutor, what you would like to borrow from him.

People accept compliments favorably, since everyone is pleased just by the fact that they want to say something good to him. That is why they easily forgive possible mistakes. Since men are not spoiled by compliments, they are less demanding of their quality. That is why it is better to learn how to compliment men.

When you like the compliment, the person’s face lights up with a smile. A good mood, along with a smile, is transmitted to the interlocutor. This is why compliments benefit everyone involved*.

Desires and motivation

All people have similar desires and motives. Complex forms of activity imply basic things: the desire to be loved, rich, to have power, to satisfy natural instincts, etc. These features of human nature are taken into account when creating advertising, Internet posts, and election campaigns. The personality, under the influence of his desires to get what he wants, does what the manipulator needs. Influence will be more effective if you use images and colors that a person associates with his desires: people who lack emotions will happily respond to commercials using orange shades, and those who need peace and comfort will respond to blue and green ones. Methods of protection against such influence are elementary. You need to analyze yourself and understand what you are missing. It is also important to realize that getting what you want requires hard work and dedication.

What is the psychological mechanism of this attraction?

Most people smile sincerely and kindly at their friends, not at their enemies.

If, when communicating with us, a person has a kind and pleasant facial expression, a soft, welcoming smile, then most likely this is a signal: “I am your friend.”
A friend in the truest sense of the word is a like-minded person on some issues that are significant to us.
One of the leading human needs is the need for safety and security. It is a friend who increases this security, i.e. satisfies one of our most important needs.
Positive emotions make a person feel satisfied.
A person always strives for someone who (what) evokes positive emotions in him.
If someone evokes positive emotions, then he, voluntarily or involuntarily, creates an attraction.

It should be noted that the effect of this mechanism does not depend on whether your partner wants or does not want to have these positive emotions. What matters is who will use this technique.

The effect of surprise

Psychological influence on a person’s subconscious can be carried out in different ways. A change in consciousness makes a person completely defenseless against the influence of others. Such methods include hypnosis and trance. During the first, the personality is completely under the influence of the influencing person, his consciousness is closed and not controlled by himself. Trance is different in that the individual thinks he is in control of his actions, but follows the instructions of the manipulator.

A person can be put into a state of light trance by asking her a strange, unexpected question. The confusion that arises is a specific state that makes it easy to instill the necessary information. It is very easy to put an individual into a light trance state who is immersed in his thoughts and a little confused. This is how various kinds of manipulators who are looking for easy money choose their victims. The main role in this impact is played by the effect of surprise.

Do you know how to smile when necessary?

A similar situation arises when you need to evoke positive emotions in your interlocutor and win him over. This is necessary so that he accepts your position, so that he fulfills your order or request not under pressure, but voluntarily. And all this is necessary... always. In our context, a light smile is a welcoming smile, and a sympathetic, encouraging, and empathetic smile. If you find it difficult to smile “to order,” then we can first recommend the following: when left alone with yourself, smile at the person looking at you from the mirror.

In the vocabulary of managers, words that are pleasant for subordinates who note their merits (perhaps in a somewhat exaggerated form) are rare. What explains this?

Compliments are words that contain a slight exaggeration of the merits that the interlocutor wants to see in himself. In this sense, we will consider a compliment as one of the methods of creating attraction in business relationships.

Of course, each of us is pleased to hear compliments addressed to us. At the same time, we realize that what has been said is, albeit a small, but still an exaggeration. So why are we still pleased to hear such words?

If a person is often told: “You’re smart” or “You’re great at this,” although in reality this is not entirely true, then after a while he will really believe in his abilities and will strive to realize his potential.

The effect of suggestion occurs, as it were, in absentia, the satisfaction of a person’s dreams, desires, and needs to improve some of his traits. In fact, the need will not be completely satisfied, but the real feeling will be the feeling of its satisfaction, the emergence of positive emotions on this basis.

Intelligent manipulation

Influence on a person’s subconscious is not only hidden forms of influence for the purpose of profit. This area of science also studies methods for increasing the performance of employees in enterprises, improving their skills and reducing aggression in the team towards each other.

The method of reasonable manipulation involves the voluntary agreement of the individual to perform certain functions. Impact occurs through the use of higher aspirations. This is a bit like the method of applying desires and motivations: every employee wants to receive a decent salary and feel normal in the team. To achieve these goals, coordinated work, concentration and mutual assistance are required.

Techniques of influence: features, hidden capabilities, precautions

Psychological influence has one goal - to force a person or group of people to comply with a requirement or change their mind. Many people use means of influence in everyday life unconsciously, focusing on their needs. Therefore, the influence can be positive, useful for a person, or negative - destructive.

Parents instill in their children the rules of behavior in society, trying to raise them to be law-abiding people. The director influences his subordinates in order to obtain a cohesive team ready to work on a common task. Advertising creators use techniques similar to hypnosis to encourage customers to buy a product that they did not initially need. Interpersonal influence, unlike group influence, is rarely destructive. It is not authoritarian in nature, it is easier to get rid of it.

A striking example of the dangerous influence of group psychological influence is the recruitment of people into the ranks of terrorist organizations. To instill in a person thoughts of the need to commit mass murder, it is necessary to completely change his personality. People are reduced to the state of zombies who are no longer able to think critically.

Every person who uses suggestion techniques in everyday life must understand the degree of responsibility. If psychological influence is used unsuccessfully or too often, it is possible to put a person into a state of artificial depression and suppress his will. It is easiest to convince a person with low self-esteem and who does not have an opinion of something. Those at risk include children, the elderly, and people with undeveloped critical thinking.

Partner management techniques

The main component of a conversation between people is emotional contact. The influence of this part in psychology is considered as a possible tool for manipulating a partner. When talking with a person, our brain receives a huge number of signals that, through the subconscious, begin to control us, causing certain emotions when we see a certain person. If you send a certain hidden positive signal to your partner during communication, he will develop a strong reflex. He will feel joy when he sees you. Such techniques will not help you impose your desires on another person, but they will be able to persuade the querent to communicate.

When addressing your partner, always call him by name. This is an important component of proper communication. Each person is an individual and unique. Addressing without using a name depersonalizes the interlocutor. He remains dissatisfied in his desire to be himself, and experiences negative emotions that are associated with your image. Proper treatment shows the individual's importance to you.

Use the phrase “Good morning” in the morning. It is more pleasant to the ear than a dry “Hello.” Smile at your partner. It works like a mirror: when you smile at yourself at the reflective surface, you always get a smile in return. People can be used in the same way. Every individual subconsciously associates a smile with a friend, happiness, a feeling of security, so your partner will unconsciously follow your instructions.

In business communication, try to use compliments. They help to create a feeling of satisfaction in a partner, but they must be used wisely, otherwise all efforts will be in vain, and the compliment will turn into banality, rude flattery, or sound like ridicule. Each must be backed up by fact.

Rules for constructing compliments:

a compliment reflects positive qualities that cannot be perceived as negative at the same time;
hyperbolization should not be used, the exaggeration should be small;
your words should not reflect a positive quality lower than the person himself believes;
the compliment should reflect a statement of the presence of a positive quality, and not instructions for improvement;
When giving a compliment, do not immediately try to draw special attention to the person’s shortcomings.

Methods of psychological influence and their differences

Methods of psychological influence on a person’s personality in psychology are:

infection;
suggestion;
belief;
imitation.

Some of these methods you have already used unconsciously, and some of these methods have been tested on you. Infection, suggestion, persuasion and imitation are ways of influencing the psychological state of people. Let's look at them in detail so as not to fall into the scammers' trap.

Infection

This psychological impact on human consciousness is the oldest and most studied method. It is based on the transfer of emotional states from person to person. Agree that this has happened to everyone when you are in a great mood, and suddenly a person appears with tears in his eyes and all the signs of hysteria.

As you listen to his heartbreaking story, your mood deteriorates, and your state of mind begins to resemble the experiences of your interlocutor. Particularly impressionable people don’t even need to be told anything; on an emotional level, they are able to perceive signals coming from people around them.

Another example that characterizes the method of infection and which is used by the psychology of influencing people is panic. He usually acts in a crowd. If many people are in the same critical conditions, and one of them begins to panic, this feeling is transmitted to most of those present.

Have you heard about panic on board planes or in a broken elevator? These are those cases where one person panicked, and this feeling spread to many

But you can become “infected” not only with negative emotions. Laughter, fun, and a positive attitude in life are contagious.

Suggestion

The second class of psychological influence on a person is suggestion. In this case, the psychology of influence on a person appears on an emotional background, forcing him to act as the opponent forces him. But if infection is the transmission of a psychological state as a result of which a person acts in one way or another, then suggestion is the persuasion of a person to do as he is told using verbal tools (words, visual contact, and others).

In order for suggestion to become an effective tool, you must live up to your words. If a person is trying to “teach you to live” and dictates the rules of behavior in society or the laws of achieving success, then his reputation, appearance and manner of speaking should evoke respect and a desire to imitate.

But when in front of you is an exhausted individual in dirty clothes and with traces of alcohol intoxication, his calls for a new life look pitiful and ridiculous. Therefore, if you want to help a person with advice, try to understand the situation in which the unfortunate person finds himself. Get into the problem and put yourself in his place. Only after this can you suggest something to someone who is looking for support from you.

You can only instill your thoughts in people with a confident voice.

Another important nuance - the psychology of influencing a person says that you can only inspire your thoughts in people with a confident voice, in which there is not even a shadow of doubt . Sometimes the success or failure of an idea depends on the tone in which a phrase is spoken.

There is another factor that determines the result of the impact on a person - suggestibility. The power of suggestion depends on how suggestible a person is, and this is an individual indicator. Children under the age of 13 and insecure and indecisive people are characterized by a high level of this indicator.

Suggestion works especially well if you combine the meaning of the words with the help of which the suggestion occurs with external information that is familiar and understandable to the person being suggested. If you try to direct a person to the “true path” and at the same time draw a parallel with those facts that are close to him, this will have a strong psychological impact on him. If you want to prove to a person that as a result of the actions suggested to him, he will be satisfied, give an example of the negative result that awaits him in the opposite case.

Using “catchphrases” or well-known examples of positive or negative experiences of generations, you will achieve significant results in the art of suggestion

Belief

Persuasion is one of the most harmless and effective methods of psychological influence on a person. It is based on facts that become clear as a result of constructing a logical chain of thought. When using various methods of influencing people, one should take into account the level of intellectual development of the opponent. Proving something to a person who is below you in mental development is ridiculous. Your arguments will not be understood and accepted. If you are trying to convince someone who is smarter than you of something, it will look funny.

When the first piece of new information reaches a person’s consciousness, his brain looks for an explanation. And now it depends on the skill of the one who convinces whether they will believe him or not. It’s good if you can get a person to trust you, but the rest depends on the method of psychological influence and the alternation of new data. The most important thing that methods of psychological influence on a person require is not to deceive your opponent. As soon as a person feels falsehood in words, the level of trust will drop significantly. If this happens again, you may completely lose the trust and attention of this person.

To really be believed, you must correspond to the lifestyle or statements that you are trying to convey to your opponent. Your words should radiate power and you should come across as authoritative and confident.

So, everything coincided:

Opponent's development level:
The truthfulness of your statements;
Correspondence between image and statements.

Your words should radiate power, and you should create the impression of an authoritative and confident person.
Now you need to choose a behavior strategy that will help influence the person psychologically. There are several strategies.

Aggressive . It is based on the contradiction of proven facts. This proves to the person that you are an extraordinary person and very different from him. He has a desire to listen to you and unravel the logical chain that you have confused. Therefore, he listens carefully to every word. But this strategy of psychological influence on a person is typical for professionals of speech and persuasion.
Passive . This strategy only works if you know the other person well. By carefully citing examples from his and your own life, comparing them with cases known to the whole world, you lead your opponent to the idea that you want to convey to him. Avoid inconsistencies and differences in judgment. This will throw the work done back several positions.

Now you know how to psychologically influence a person during a conversation. Use the “Persuasion” method, applying the laws of logic and building logical chains.

Leonardo DiCaprio and Matt Damon, still from the movie "The Departed"

Imitation

Many subconsciously use methods of influencing a person, without even knowing it. Reaching some heights in a career or intellectually, we become an object of respect and admiration. Less experienced people tend to follow the example of someone who has already realized their aspirations. But the object of imitation must always “keep up the brand”. It should be attractive, bright, memorable, delightful. That is, to satisfy the opponent’s desire to follow the ideal.

Ways to influence your interlocutor

The basis of psychological techniques for influencing an interlocutor is observation of the individual and knowledge of some behavioral nuances.

Let's look at some of the simplest techniques that can be useful in everyday life.

To emerge victorious from an argument, no matter how much you want, never raise your voice. After the interlocutor lets off steam, he will feel empty and guilty before you, which you can quickly take advantage of and convince him that you are right.
Knowing that there is a liar in front of you, you can easily expose him to clean water using pauses in the conversation. Be silent, and then the interlocutor will have no choice but to fill the silence with his “confession.”
Phrases cannot be started with negative words: instead of “Would you like to walk with me to the cafe” - “Come with me to the cafe.” With a negative pretext, you program the querent in advance to refuse.
Avoid phrases that radiate uncertainty: apologies for no reason, words of doubt like “It seems to me,” etc. They humiliate you in the eyes of your interlocutor.

How to make a compliment a compliment?

There are several rules.

1. “One meaning.” A compliment should reflect only the positive qualities of a person. In a compliment, double meaning should be avoided when, for example, a given quality in a person can be considered both positive and negative.

For example: “Listening to your conversations with people, I am each time surprised by your ability to avoid answering so subtly and wittily!” This rule, which we conventionally called “one meaning,” is clearly violated here.

2. “No hyperbole.” The positive quality reflected in the compliment should be slightly exaggerated.

For example: “I am always amazed at your accuracy and punctuality,” said the manager, accepting a report from a subordinate. These words not only surprised him, but amazed him. Firstly, he has a reputation of the exact opposite nature, and secondly, now there was not even a reason for these words, let alone a reason.

3. "High opinion." An important factor in the effectiveness of this technique is the person’s own opinion about the level of qualities reflected in the compliment. Suppose a person knows for sure that his level of this quality is much higher than what is said in the compliment.

For example, a person who has a truly phenomenal memory (and this opinion is firmly entrenched in his mind) suddenly hears the following words addressed to him: “I am amazed at how you immediately remembered the phone number! You have a brilliant memory!” Or the doctor hears: “One can only be amazed at your skill! How quickly you diagnosed him with appendicitis!” In both the first and second cases, these are not compliments, but platitudes. The consequences can be negative, since the rule that we conventionally call “high opinion” has been violated.

4. “No didactics.” This rule is that a compliment should state the presence of a given characteristic, and not contain recommendations for improving it.

Here are some examples of such “compliments”: “You should be more active!”; “Firmness of conviction adorns a man! Know how to defend your positions!” Here the rule that we conventionally called “no didactics” is clearly violated.

5. “No complaints.” The employee does not at all strive to improve this quality. Moreover, he believes that it would be bad if this positive quality were expressed more strongly in him than it is now.

For example, one of your subordinates, who is also a manager, believes that the ability to give compliments is not at all a virtue of a real production organizer. And if you, being convinced of the opposite, try to give him a compliment like: “I heard that you are brilliant at giving compliments!”, then he will probably be offended.

6. “No seasoning.” The last rule concerns not the content of the compliment itself, but those additions that often follow it.

For example: “Your hands are truly golden. But your tongue is your enemy.” Or: “I am very impressed by your ability to win people over. If only this ability is in the interests of the business...” Therefore, when making a compliment, refrain from the fly in the ointment, i.e. similar additions. Follow the rule that we conventionally call “no seasoning.”

Of course, it is difficult to remember all these rules at once, but if you use associative connections, then it will be much easier.

The “patient listener” technique. From childhood, we all remember the usual rules that you cannot interrupt your interlocutor, you must listen to him to the end, and be attentive to him. No one is saying that these rules should be ignored.

The “but” begins when you have to “pay” for compliance with these rules, and the unit of calculation is time. This is when the true attitude towards these values manifests itself.

It takes a lot of time to patiently and carefully listen to your interlocutor, because not everyone knows how to express their thoughts concisely and clearly. In addition, we have to listen to statements that are not relevant. If you do listen to your subordinate, he will satisfy his needs and receive positive emotions, connecting this against his will with you.

Since you were the source of these positive emotions, they will be “returned” to you in the form of a slight increase in sympathy for you, i.e. in the form of an emerging or intensifying attraction.

Reception "private life". Each person, along with professional interests, also has personal interests, hobbies and personal life. In empirical observations, it was noticed that if you have a conversation with a person in line with his expressed personal interest, this will cause increased verbal activity in him, accompanied by positive emotions.

From time to time, talk with your subordinates about issues that are important to them in their personal lives, show interest in their feelings and experiences. For example, one of the employees is passionate about growing cacti and often talks about them. Everyone is already quite bored with this. Be patient and talk to her about them for at least a few minutes.

Who lost in this situation? A few minutes of wasted time listening to unnecessary information is on one side of the scale, and on the other is your like-minded subordinate.

Types of influence. Influence and manipulation

A person is constantly in a single field of social interaction, where he acts both as an object and as a subject of influence. We are influenced not only by individual people, social groups and public opinion, but also by natural phenomena, things, events that happen to us and to other people. Rain that starts before a walk can ruin our mood and force us to change our plans, and an armed conflict that occurs hundreds of kilometers away from us can change our worldview.

But here we are considering influences in the sphere of interpersonal relationships. In social psychology there are several types of them.

Conscious and unconscious influence

They speak of conscious and purposeful influence when the subject of influence knows exactly what he wants to achieve and how he intends to change the behavior of the object. Conscious influence can be directed both at a person’s views and at his emotional sphere, but the ultimate goal is still certain actions.

The reasons why one person consciously influences another may be different. If the main one is obtaining personal gain, then such influence is called manipulation. But influence can also serve other purposes. For example, pedagogical influence is aimed at the formation and development of the child’s personality. In fact, it does not always benefit the object of influence, but this is precisely what is considered the main task of education.

In the social environment, in the process of interaction between people, many acts of unconscious influence constantly occur. A person not only infects other people with his behavior, but also, without realizing it, adopts their habits, manners, and beliefs. First of all, we unconsciously imitate those whom we sympathize and respect: our friends, parents, teachers, colleagues, movie characters. The more interesting, successful and charismatic a person is, the more those around him fall under his influence, whether he wants it or not.

Overt and hidden influence

Open influence is a type of influence when the object, or as it is also called, the addressee, understands that he is being influenced by inducing, pushing or forcing him to take some action. This is an unpleasant feeling, but in this case a person has a choice - to submit to the influence or to evade it, to resist. It can be very difficult to evade if people with power are influencing you. But nevertheless, the addressee can at least try to defend his independence and the right to make his own decisions.

But hidden influence is, on the one hand, a less ethical type of influence, and on the other hand, the most effective. Not knowing that he is being influenced, the object does not even resist and cannot oppose anything to the subject. Conscious, purposeful and hidden influence is manipulation, the most dangerous type of influence.

Destructive and creative influence

We are accustomed to thinking that any influence is always bad, since it involves pressure on the individual. Therefore, having realized the impact exerted on us, we begin to actively resist, often doing things “out of spite,” out of spite, committing rash acts, mistakes, and often outright stupidity.

But not every influence is destructive, not every one leads to the infringement of individual rights and freedoms. Often the person influencing is interested precisely in preserving the identity of his addressee, preventing mistakes that he may make, and helping him choose the right path. Parents raising a child, teachers forming a correct picture of the world in a student, relatives and friends who want to rid a loved one of bad habits - all these are examples of creative influence.

Impact goals

Fear of people and society - what is this phobia called and what is it?
Regardless of which group of people needs to be influenced, the targets of influence belong to one of the groups:

indoctrination to other people to satisfy one's own benefit;
assertion of authority among others;
modeling standards of behavior and concepts;
internalizing a sense of significance;
self-realization.

Most often, the practice of manipulating other people is due to selfish views. When a person sees that his interlocutor is emotionally inferior to him, a desire arises to subjugate him to his will, albeit unconsciously. Some want to be listened to, others want some actions to be performed for them, others try to establish themselves with the opposite sex (especially among girls). Someone may use emotional influence with good intentions, but more often the reason lies in selfishness. In any case, the manipulator’s hidden motive in sum involves asserting his own importance in the eyes of people.

These goals are divided into intentional and unintentional. The first include those when the manipulator tries to assert himself, force someone to perform some actions for him, or pursues a selfish goal. A person can have an unintended influence simply by being in the room. Others begin to copy his behavior, succumb to his beliefs, and suddenly lean toward his point of view. Such an ability can manifest itself spontaneously without any malicious intent.

Most manipulators pursue their own interests

Energy exchange

The rule of exchange is to obtain energy through any actions or services. For example, helping a person in need greatly increases the likelihood that he will respond to your request in the future.

It is recommended to do this not only with those with whom it is pleasant to communicate. You can pay attention to those who cause hostility. Good deeds can melt the ice of the most intense hatred. A good deed done will be highly valued from an energy standpoint.

Basic rules of psychological influence

The best way to develop manipulative skills is constant practice. It is also important to follow the basic rules that make psychological influence effective:

confident tone;
gradual impact;
consolidation of intermediate results;
alternation of management methods;
strengthening the authority of the manipulator;
focusing on the needs of the interlocutor;
use of illustrative examples.

It is also important to consider the characteristics of the person or group being influenced. So, for a girl you should choose some methods, for a guy - others.