Why relieve your interlocutor’s emotional stress?
People are not machines.
Any information that we exchange is perceived against an emotional background, which usually does not interfere with communication.
We can negotiate, give orders, receive tasks, negotiate.
But if emotions run high, we lose the ability to communicate constructively.
Emotions “block” the channel of information exchange, so until the “normal” emotional background is restored, communication will be difficult.
You will not be able to agree on anything until the interlocutor is in a state of readiness to perceive your speech.
To achieve this, you need to be able to cope with emotions and create conditions for communication even in a conflict situation.
What relieves stress?
It is clear that stress hormones are removed from the body and utilized. But there are hormones that neutralize stress.
These are pleasure hormones:
- Dopamine;
- Serotonin;
- Oxytocin;
- Endorphins;
And now, the promised 7 ways to relieve emotional stress.
Using these methods:
- you can reduce tension in your body;
- reduce the level of worry and anxiety;
- react more calmly to different situations.
Non-verbal techniques for reducing emotional stress
Technique 1. Give the other person a chance to talk.
Don’t try to shout down, interrupt, or “chat.”
Conducting a conversation in a raised voice, especially while shouting, requires a lot of nervous tension.
Once the person has said everything he was going to say, you will have time to say everything you want and he will be ready to hear you.
Until he says everything he planned to say, or gets tired of pouring out his emotions, any attempt to interrupt will cause even greater aggression.
Technique 2: Listen carefully
Try to establish and maintain eye contact with your partner, nod, lean or lean forward, implicitly “join” - take the same position as your interlocutor.
Technique 3. Close the distance
At a social distance (0.5-1.2 m), it is difficult to have a conversation in a raised voice.
Boxers close the distance so that the opponent does not have room to swing when striking, close people hug each other to calm them down.
Smile, touch, lean in.
Electronic means of communication depersonalize communication - it’s easy to write something rude in an email, messenger or correspondence on a social network, say something unpleasant on the phone and hang up.
It is more difficult to decide on the same during personal communication.
If a conflict arose during correspondence or telephone communication, arrange a personal meeting.
Technique 4. Create spatial comfort for communication
If your opponent is standing, stand up; if he is sitting, sit down.
If there is an obstacle separating it - a table, a chair, a counter - remove it or go around it.
Suggest sitting at an acute or 90-degree angle.
If possible, sit next to him.
Speech techniques for reducing emotional stress
Technique 1. If you are a stranger, say your name and find out the name of the person you are talking to.
Try to say the name of your interlocutor as often as possible during the conversation.
Calling by name does not allow communication to become depersonalized.
It is much easier to insult a stranger than someone you know, even if only for a few seconds.
Technique 2: Adjust the pace of the conversation
Slightly tighten the rhythm and tempo of your speech; if the interlocutor speaks too quickly and emotionally, pause in speech.
Calm, measured speech is difficult to “load” with emotions.
Technique 3. Make it clear that you understand the importance of the problem and are ready to resolve it.
Tell your interlocutor about this.
Technique 4. Emphasize the importance of the interlocutor.
Be prepared to say that you value him and his opinion and relationship are very important to you.
Technique 5. Tell about your well-being, the state that the interlocutor’s words caused, if his status is higher, his position is stronger than yours
“I’m sorry, I’m offended, I’m unpleasant...”
Technique 6. Tell about the state and well-being of the interlocutor, if his status is lower, his position is weaker than yours
“I understand how unpleasant and offensive it is for you... I understand that you are disappointed...”
Technique 7. Address the facts - without emotion, talk through all the details of the situation that caused the conflict
"Let's figure out what happened..."
Technique 8. Offer a specific way out of the current situation
If this is not possible, promise to find him as soon as possible.
Ask your interlocutor what way out of the situation he considers the best.
It is not necessary that you accept it - the main thing is that your communication partner will be forced to control his emotions, otherwise it will be difficult for him to collect his thoughts.
Technique 9. Find and highlight something in common
It could be a similarity of interests, opinions, goals, or even just a desire to quickly cope with the situation in which you find yourself - unity is very important.
If “we” means “ours”, and ours cannot but agree.
Technique 10. Acknowledge that the other person is right about what he is right about.
If you know that the current situation is your fault, immediately admit it.
This will not change the situation, but the opponent will have fewer reasons for overly emotional communication.
He no longer needs to prove that he is not guilty and convince you to admit that you are wrong; he will be ready to discuss the problem on its merits.
Face-saving techniques
What to do when you are insulted? How to respond with dignity, maintaining inner peace and not losing face?
Technique 1. “External consent”
When someone says something unpleasant and offensive to you, it is assumed that you will lose control of yourself and reciprocate.
Or you will begin to prove to him that he is wrong and his words are unfair.
The phrase “maybe you are right” does not mean that you agree, everyone understands this, but it deprives the interlocutor of the right to continue the verbal attack.
In any case, it is obvious that repeating it is useless.
Technique 2. “Repetition”
Saying out loud what your interlocutor told you in the heat of the moment is very useful.
It is unlikely that anyone who is already prepared to hear “You are a fool!” ready to hear your words and ready to respond to them.
Even if he has a large vocabulary, constantly hearing the echo of his words without getting the desired result in the form of an emotional reaction is unlikely to please his opponent.
Technique 3. “Clarification”
"Do you really think so? Why?
Technique 4. “Part of my personality”
Someone doesn't like something about you.
Recognize that this is acceptable. But this is your personal quality that belongs to you, so someone else’s judgment about it does not affect you.
“Yes, I work slowly. But I try to do everything without mistakes, so I double-check my work.”
Stress and ways to cope with it
The acceleration of the rhythm of modern life has led to a significant increase in the physical, mental, and emotional stress on a person, caused by everyday problems, interpersonal relationships, the content of professional activities, and information overload. Quite often a person has to be in a state of emotional stress, experience a feeling of increased anxiety, restlessness, self-doubt, i.e. experience so-called STRESS . Such conditions are often accompanied not only by mental imbalance, but also by a number of negative changes in the functioning of physiological mechanisms in the human body. According to WHO, up to 40% of the world's population needs the help of medical specialists.
WHAT IS STRESS, WHAT ARE THE REASONS AND FACTORS
ITS APPEARANCE
The term “ stress ” (translated from English stress) means “pressure, pressure, tension.”
According to the Big Explanatory Dictionary of the Russian Language, “ Stress is a state of tension in the human or animal body as a defensive reaction to various unfavorable factors (cold, starvation, physical and mental trauma, etc.).”
At its core, stress is the human body’s response to overstrain, negative and positive emotions. During times of stress, the human body produces the hormone adrenaline, which forces us to look for a way out. Everyone needs stress in small quantities, as it makes you think, look for a way out of the problem, and in this case it has a positive meaning. But on the other hand, if there is too much stress, the body weakens, loses strength, the ability to solve problems and can cause serious illnesses.
Stress can be divided into:
- Positive and negative - according to the degree of emotional coloring.
- Short-term and long-term (or acute and chronic) - by duration.
- Physiological and psychological - the latter, in turn, are divided into informational and emotional due to the reason for their occurrence.
Sources of stress can be:
External - moving to a new place of residence, changing jobs, death of a loved one, divorce, everyday troubles associated with money problems, fulfilling obligations by a certain deadline, disputes, family relationships, lack of sleep.
Internal – revision of life values and beliefs, change in personal self-esteem, etc.
The causes and factors causing stress (psychologists call them stressors) are varied and numerous:
- changes in life (vacations, new job, marriage, divorce, etc.);
- any strong emotion;
- fatigue;
- physical injury, surgery, illness;
- noise;
- sudden changes in temperature, etc.
Changes of any kind, even positive ones, force us to adapt to new circumstances. But with all the variety of experiences and shock situations that happen in our lives, the body’s reaction to any stress is essentially the same - the body triggers biochemical processes developed many centuries ago, the purpose of which is to cope with an extreme situation. Over time, the effects of stressors add up and accumulate. The more of them in our lives at a given period, the higher our stress level will be.
The body's defense response to ongoing or repeated stressors goes through three distinct stages.
- In the first stage - the alarm reaction (in response to irritation, regardless of its nature), all body systems are activated.
- In the second stage - the stage of resistance (resistance, stability), the body begins to adapt to the ongoing effect of the stressor.
- The third stage is the stage of exhaustion, which occurs with prolonged exposure to a stressor. The energy required for adaptation is depleted, and the body’s overall resistance drops sharply. If help is not provided during this period, the exhaustion stage can result in serious illness and even death.
SYMPTOMS OF STRESS AND POSSIBLE CONSEQUENCES FROM IT
Symptoms may gradually worsen or occur suddenly within minutes. Attacks of anxiety, restlessness, and panic appear, which usually do not last long and occur in the form of emotional outbursts, accompanied by a feeling of horror and body reactions such as increased heart rate and sweating. Anxiety usually develops gradually. Symptoms may also include muscle tension, fatigue, irritability, impatience, insomnia or sleep disorders, difficulty concentrating, low mood, or, conversely, overexcitement, anger, memory impairment, increased fatigue, etc.
Stress is the main risk factor for the occurrence and exacerbation of many diseases: cardiovascular (myocardial infarction, angina, hypertension), gastrointestinal tract (gastritis, gastric and duodenal ulcers), decreased immunity.
Negative reactions are caused not only by strong, acute, but also by small, but long-term stressful influences. Therefore, prolonged psychological stress and depression can also lead to illness.
Treatment of stress with medications is indicated only as prescribed by a doctor. Taking into account the patient's condition, the doctor may prescribe sedatives (medicines that reduce nervous tension and anxiety, as well as reducing feelings of fear) or tranquilizers (medicines that help relieve emotional stress).
WAYS AND PRINCIPLES OF OVERCOMING STRESS
Each of us has our own level of stress, which is determined by hereditary and other factors, and our own level of attitude and response to stress.
Different people respond to stress in different ways: some begin to absorb incredible amounts of food, others completely lose their appetite; some have difficulty falling asleep at night, while others experience sleepiness even during the day.
The basic principles of overcoming stress include:
- Distraction from a stressful situation - if what is happening makes a strong impression on a person and after that he continues to think about it, then he thereby “gets stuck” on the stressful situation and does not think about how to resolve it, but is constantly worried about the events that happened. To distract yourself from a stressful situation, you need to think about something else related to pleasant sensations and experiences (rest, a pleasant event, personal achievements).
- Reducing the subjective significance of the event that caused stress - reconsider your attitude towards what happened according to the principle: “What is not done is for the better...”.
- Active behavior - do not keep in yourself the surging feelings and emotions that caused stress, but throw out the accumulated energy by doing something even unthinkable (for example, washing a window or floor with a toothbrush, wiping clean dishes, etc.); as well as playing sports, playing football, volleyball, etc.
- Ability to relax - stress causes general tension and an increase in the frequency of brain waves. Relaxation, on the contrary, reduces their frequency, which leads to a decrease in the level of excitation of the central nervous system.
- Positive thinking - a positive way of thinking and the associated positive emotions of kindness, love, joy - is the main personal tool for ensuring health and well-being.
Other ways to relieve stress and maintain mental health include:
- In any situation, you should remain optimistic.
- Strive for reasonable organization in life, work, and everyday life.
- Learn to say no to yourself, not to take on too many problems, especially those of others, by defining the boundaries of your own capabilities.
- Learn to enjoy life.
- Don't be a maximalist.
- Don’t delve into your past, and especially don’t regret what you didn’t do once or did wrong.
- Maintain proper diet, sleep and rest.
- Do not abuse alcohol, refrain from bad habits.
- Lead a healthy active lifestyle , doing daily physical exercise and self-massage of the head, neck, shoulders, and feet.
- If necessary , slow down the pace of life and reconsider some life positions.
Remember! It is impossible to completely eliminate stressful situations from life, but you can live and work in such a way as to reduce their number to a minimum, minimize their consequences and thereby maintain health for many years.
