Definition of charm and a charming person in psychology

Some people consider charming to be a characteristic that relates to close romantic relationships. But a charming person is not just someone who evokes pleasant feelings in the opposite sex. This is a rather multifaceted personality trait that helps her not only on the love front, but also in other areas of life.

What is charm: in simple terms

Charm is the ability to win people over and be a pleasant interlocutor in all respects . The most suitable synonym here would be “attractiveness.”

This characteristic consists of several components:

  1. Friendliness . You always want to talk to a charming person, because he is positive and ready to discuss any topic, and also knows how to support in difficult times;
  2. Correct, appropriate use of facial expressions and gestures . At certain moments of communication, a person knows when to show emotions on the face and when to hide them;
  3. Neat appearance . A correctly chosen hairstyle for the shape of your head, clear skin, and a snow-white smile will help you establish contact with any interlocutor. Of course, not all people are naturally beautiful. But still, to be charming it is not necessary to have a model appearance;
  4. Empathy . As soon as a person learns to understand the internal motives and mood of the interlocutor, he will quickly be able to get closer to people;
  5. Politeness . Communicating with a person who gracefully gives compliments and is not rude even in an emotional conversation is always a pleasure;
  6. Adequate self-esteem . A charming personality knows his worth. She will not behave arrogantly even around people lower than him in social status. Also, a charming person will feel confident when communicating with someone who is much more successful than him.

Typical representatives

If you do something like a comparative analysis, you will notice that a charming girl is almost always an open, kind and gentle girl. There is never any discomfort or tension with her; it’s as if she complements the world with her presence, making it especially beautiful.

Such representatives of the fair sex are always interesting because they personify a mystery that is unlikely to be completely solved.

It seems that if a girl is charming and sweet, she is simply not capable of dirty tricks, envy and other negative things that, unfortunately, abound in today’s world. You want to trust such people almost immediately upon meeting, and over time this desire only grows stronger and gains strength.

How to become more charming?

Charisma is an acquired trait. Of course, some features, such as a pleasant voice and appearance, are given by nature. But still, a person develops most of the ability to be a good conversationalist himself .

To increase your charm, just follow these tips:

  • Combine interest and unobtrusiveness . You must be able to be interested in the problems and feelings of others, be ready to give advice, but at the same time not interfere when this is not directly asked for;
  • Practice competent and clear speech . Help will be provided by books on public speaking or special courses;
  • Know how to listen . The problem with modern people is that they often like to talk. When a person talks about something secret or simply wants to talk about an event that interests him, it is best to look him in the eyes, sometimes ask clarifying questions and make it clear that his monologue is important to you. People unconsciously gravitate towards those who know how to listen;
  • Take advantage of your strengths . Everyone has their strongest points in their character. For example, a person acts skillfully in a difficult situation at work, when all other employees are at a loss. In this case, it is worthwhile to act as an assistant to those who panicked and fell into a stupor. For those who are out of emotional balance, a charming person will tactfully calm them down and restore their self-confidence;
  • Respect your interlocutor , even if he does not always say logical and moral things. This is a great way to avoid empty arguments and be known as a pleasant person.

Adviсe


Smile sincerely more often

  1. Walking down the street, smile at passers-by.
  2. When communicating with people, look them in the eyes, do not avoid eye contact.
  3. In a conversation with a person, let him feel that he is important to you, that you are friendly.
  4. Don't forget about your individuality, but don't talk too much about yourself.
  5. If you have a great sense of humor, you can use it. After all, people who make us laugh are admired.
  6. Watch your posture, keep your back straight, straighten your shoulders. This will make you feel more confident.
  7. Be kind to other people, never resort to aggression or outbursts of anger.
  8. I don't try to be like anyone, always be yourself. After all, sooner or later the pretense will be revealed anyway.
  9. Develop a sense of empathy, it is the basis of charm. After all, a person will not understand how to behave without realizing whether he is making his interlocutor happy or unhappy.

Now you know who these charming people are, what character traits they are endowed with. If you set a goal to become charming, strive for this, making every effort. Remember that charming people are more trustworthy, they have a wider circle of friends, and they can more easily achieve what they want.

Charisma tests: list of sites

There are many services that allow you to find out how charming a person is:

  1. sunhome.ru. One of the fastest tests with six easy questions. The result is also quite brief, but overall it will give a general correct idea of ​​your charm;
  2. woman-psy.com. An eight-question test related to communication skills and self-esteem. More aimed at a female audience;
  3. qvilon.ru. Another test for women with a large number of questions (12 pieces) and more detailed answer options. The result of charm is expressed as a percentage. Plus, links are provided to useful articles on correcting psychological problems that prevent people from liking them;
  4. beon.ru. 10 questions that will help determine how easily a person establishes contacts, how he behaves in friendly communication and in disputes with others.

What's special about her appearance and character?

The beauty of a decent woman seems not quite complete. She lacks the mysterious charm of depravity.

Etienne Rey

It’s always easy, fun and reckless with a charming girl; you want to be friends with her. By the way, she is also a very good friend: she adequately assesses the situation, is always tactful and can joke about the situation. In addition, she is insanely self-critical and always knows how to laugh at herself.

There is beauty in her: both external and internal. Even if initially she seems far from ideal in appearance, then if you talk to her for even five minutes, you can immediately fall in love. Her inner magnetism is so strong that any external shine of other women seems like cheap tinsel.

Such a woman has her own personality (zest):

  1. She may have sharp or funny facial features. And it doesn’t matter what it is - a long nose, roundish cheeks or close-set eyes. But it doesn’t disfigure her!
  2. She has a radiant smile, a pleasant-sounding voice and a laugh. And of any tone, but still you can’t call it disgusting.
  3. She has expressive facial expressions. Her gestures and emotions are always in place. They say about such women: “she is a born artist.”

It's a shame when, in pursuit of fashion and beauty, some charming people try to change themselves:

  1. Renee Zellweger had plastic surgery and stopped being herself. There are no Bridget Jones's cute cheeks and her soft eyes. She has “erased” like the previous Rene. The forehead became motionless, the cheeks sunken, the eyes without a sparkle.
  2. Olga Kartunkova has lost a lot of weight. Outwardly she became really attractive and beautiful. Yes, and this is also a big plus for health, but that “thunderbolt” that everyone adored so much was lost in her.

These actresses certainly remain charismatic charmers, they are adored just as before, they have not lost their confidence, but you have to get used to them in a different way. After all, there is no main highlight.

The downside of charm

Charm is not always a positive trait. Most people use it intuitively, simply by maintaining good relationships with those around them, getting ahead in their careers, but also supporting others in times of need.

Some selfish people deliberately use their developed charm for evil purposes. They easily “fake” a feeling of empathy, make friends only with high-ranking people, and use the trust of others.

Such charming manipulators included Hitler and Napoleon. The German dictator said completely banal things, but knew how to do it with a special feeling, and knowing exactly what people wanted to hear at the moment.

The second was small in stature, but enjoyed great respect among the military and ordinary French.

Charming girl through the eyes of men

Men love with their eyes - an indisputable fact. Show any man a photo of a girl who is not particularly attractive, he will not even focus on her. But even in a photograph, a charming woman will have something attractive, for example, a radiant smile, a sparkling look, or a cool pose.

A charming girl through the eyes of men is, first of all, a well-groomed girl with her own special style. She has varied interests and is easy-going. She has no complaints or whims towards her lover, and if she wants something from him, she will do it so cunningly and sweetly that he himself will gladly give his last shirt.

She attracts the attention of all men, so her boyfriend does not always like such extensive magnetism of his beloved. But as a rule, charms are true - such a woman had a choice to make the right decision, and she made it.

The article How to Attach a Man to You contains many tips on the feminine charm of a married lady. The basic rules are as follows:

  1. The ability to establish relationships with your loved one’s relatives. They should be fascinated by the behavior and magnetism of their new relative.
  2. Learn to communicate with your boyfriend's friends. After all, friends are like brothers for a guy. You need to learn to be friends with them yourself, and not make enemies out of them.
  3. Feel the mood of your lover and build trust with him. And how to do this - read the article about trust in relationships.

Will you be able to do this? And you ask about this in your social circle. Do they generally consider you a charming girl? Just don’t take criticism with hostility - this is the first sign that you really have problems with charm.

Professions for charming people

If a person is aware of his charm, then the following professions are :

  • Organizer and host of events . A charming person will immediately attract attention at any event. They will listen to him with their mouth open, even if he is just improvising, having forgotten the lyrics. He will quickly cover up an uncomfortable situation or conflict at a holiday, turning everything into a joke;
  • Guide and tour guide . How to tell schoolchildren about things that even adults find boring? Or can you quickly come up with a “live” description of a historical building that a tourist bus will pass by in less than a minute? A charming person can easily cope with these tasks;
  • Sales Manager . Only a charming personality with developed communication skills will be able to successfully negotiate, expand the circle of clients and present the company’s services and products in a favorable light.

Charm is an important trait of a successful person. Thanks to her, he will be surrounded by loyal friends who will always come to the rescue, and he himself will not refuse them in difficult times.

What are they - the “charms” of our time?

Charm has no age. Sometimes even age itself helps to instill this quality in oneself. From the article What is the wisdom of a woman, you will learn that some character traits and abilities are acquired over the years.

Remember, for example, such great actresses as Rina Zelenaya, Faina Ranevskaya and Tatyana Peltser. It was with age that their bright talent and fiery charisma emerged. Everything they did, how they spoke and how they moved was great.

Can these old women be called ugly nags? Of course not! But they weren’t even beauties. But popular love made them great women for many years, even after their departure. And it's all thanks to their charm.

Unfortunately, you can’t see this on screens now. The charm has disappeared in everything:

  1. Neither in movies nor in TV series there is no female individuality of actresses - they are all the same in appearance, like soldiers in the army. Yes, and special talent too - some kind of tomfoolery.
  2. Famous personalities prefer to promote themselves on TV shows. Who raped whom, who punched whom in the face and took away their children. Well, the “experts” are the same.
  3. Charm is replaced by freakiness and posted on the Internet. Who has thicker silicone in the lips, butt and chest? Moreover, they compete in the number of tattoos and piercings.

And yet this quality has not outlived its usefulness even in our time, and we see it. If the person is not pushed and promoted by some kind of nasty thing. These are nuggets, talents from birth, as in the same KVN or in the show “The Voice”. They are real, there is nothing “foreign” about them.

Shoemaker without shoes

And yet the filmmakers want to believe in the spontaneity of charm. Because if the science of psychology develops some schemes in this matter, then it will already be a boring life. Imagine if everyone you meet and cross has charm. Scary, right? Every time we meet someone like that, we will think: “Does he turn on his charm or is it natural to him?”

Realizing this, the writers made it so that Susanna herself in the film suffers a virtual collapse in her personal life (her husband cheats on her). Despite all the psychological tricks, she herself cannot become happy according to order.

Seeing that various kinds of mantras do not work in love, Nadya Klyueva ultimately made the right choice: of all the men around her, she reached out to the one who, even without any auto-training, was breathing unevenly towards her - her table tennis partner (Gene Sysoev ).

Are charm and beauty compatible?

Of course, but there is one caveat. Monica Bellucci (famous actress) says: “Beauty for a woman is a problem only in two cases: when it is not there; when there is nothing but beauty."

Indeed, when beauty does not imply the spiritual depth of a person, then it does little to help a woman in life. She has absolutely no charm or charm. Although, of course, such an assessment is largely a matter of taste. Some people very likely like girls who are stupid as a plug and have model looks.

When beauty is combined with intelligence and rich inner content, then such a woman becomes a weapon of mass destruction for men. Unfortunately, this is a relatively rare combination, because people usually take the path of least resistance.

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