DISPUTE - what is it. Why do people argue?

Every conversation involves communication between several people, each of whom has his own idea on the topic under discussion. Often people's opinions on certain issues do not coincide. Such communication may cause an argument. At the same time, an argument between several people does not mean the end of the conversation with a conflict. Simply, each participant in the conversation remains unconvinced.

But there are also disputes that end in conflict, aggravated by mutual resentment and insults. How not to become a participant in such a dispute. After all, for many people, a dispute is an acceptable part of communication, when you can find out the essence of the issue with other people and express your own point of view on this matter.

In order not to find yourself in a whirlpool of conflict caused by a dispute, it is important to understand the necessity of this dispute for yourself.

Dispute - what is it?

During relationships between people, a situation may arise when a common topic of interest to them causes an ambiguous reaction. Different parties have different views on it that differ from others. The opponent, confident that he is right, begins to defend his point of view. A dispute is a reasoned discussion of a subject on which the parties disagree. It differs from simple dialogue in the following ways:

the presence of a clash of opposing opinions;
unwillingness to accept the opponent’s arguments;
a conscious desire to enter into conflict;
the desire to prove oneself right at any cost.

Debate

These types of disputes include public verbal competitions on the most pressing topics for society. The place and time of the debates are announced in advance. The main goal of such debates is to persuade more people to a certain point of view. At the same time, they do not search for truth during debates. If it is not possible to increase the number of one’s supporters, then such disputes are used to raise the speaker’s ratings or his image. This task is solved by convincing the audience about a particular issue. For example, in judicial debates these are the jury and the judge. There is no need to convince each other of anything in such disputes.

Often, during debates, an uncompromising, bitter struggle unfolds. At the same time, there is intrigue, as in a sports competition, entertainment, as in a theatrical production, and some such disputes can sometimes be compared to a real show. The results of such events are sometimes quite paradoxical. Those participants who lost the dispute often significantly increased the number of their supporters, that is, they achieved their goal. That is why, when conducting debates, knowledge of the subject and eloquence, mastery of rhetoric and the ability to captivate the audience are put in the first place.

Why do people argue?

A person who argues, consciously or not, sets certain goals for himself. The reasons for the dispute may be as follows:

To establish the truth . Such a dispute is considered the highest form of its manifestation. Under certain conditions it can be enjoyable. During a verbal confrontation, opponents can show the best qualities of their minds.
To convince your opponent . One side is sincerely convinced that it is right. She thinks that if she convinces her opponent of this, she will bring him good. Another case is related to the desire to deceive the interlocutor. The counterpart himself does not believe in what he is trying to convince the enemy of.
To achieve victory over your opponent . What is an argument in this case, if not self-affirmation over another person. Winning brings a feeling of false self-satisfaction and vanity. He raises the importance of himself in his own eyes.
Just to argue . There is a category of people who like to hurt others. The dispute here acts as an additional opportunity to “let off steam.” An argumentative person does not know how to use his energy for creative activities.

Dispute

Debate

This is another form of arguing. It is a collective, formalized and organized discussion of a particular topic. The purpose of the debate is to make a concrete decision. These types of disputes are conducted according to a certain rule. In this case, the rules, the chairman of the meeting, the sequence and order of speeches are integral. The most striking example of this type of dispute can be called judicial debate. Such discussions can take place with varying intensity, severity and degree of tension. The gradation in this case begins from the sluggish exchange of opinions present at the morning planning meeting to the fight in parliament.

Types of dispute

Conflicts of different opinions can take several forms. The following types of dispute are distinguished:

Discussion . Its goal is to find an acceptable solution to a controversial issue by comparing different opinions on the topic.
Dispute . It is prepared in advance and carried out according to previously established rules. Common topics for discussion are selected from the scientific, social, social, moral and ethical areas.
Debate (debate) . They arise during the discussion of a central issue at meetings of a certain community of people.
Dispute-eclecticism . It differs from other types of dispute by the possibility of using not entirely correct techniques.
Dispute-controversy . Discussion of problems takes place in an acute form, both in person and in absentia. A feature of this type of dispute is the struggle of fundamentally opposing views.
Dispute-sophistry . This is a dispute using the method of substitution of concepts. During reasoning, the laws of logic are used to deceive the interlocutor.

See also: PRIDE - what is it. Positive and negative sides

Dispute-discussion

In the public sphere, it is carried out under the leadership of a specially appointed facilitator, who directs the course of the event in the right direction. The essence of the discussion is to discuss opinions in order to find an acceptable result. At the end of this activity, the views of those gathered on the topic under consideration may remain unchanged. However, they may be taken into account when making the final conclusion. During the discussion, only correct techniques are allowed. The event will be successful if all participants agree with the achieved result.

Dispute-controversy

This word means "warlike" in Greek. Figuratively speaking, entering into a debate means declaring war on your opponent. Its goal is to defend its correct position in every possible way and destroy the false views of its opponent. The questions raised in the battles of this type of dispute can be philosophical, political, or artistic in nature. A number of examples of contemporary controversy can be given:

television talk shows;
comments on sensitive articles and publications;
discussing topics on forums and blogs.

Dispute-eclecticism

This term denotes an artificial mixture of heterogeneous ideas, meanings, and concepts. They are not related to each other in any way, and in some cases they can be directly opposite. Defending your opinion using eclecticism means bombarding your opponent with a mass of meaningless arguments, one of which can immediately refute the previous argument. In this type of dispute, the main thing is the pressure and onslaught of argumentation. The opponent must become obscured and lose the meaning of his arguments in the stream of nonsense that has befallen him from the opponent.

Argument-sophistry

It is based on the ability to reason to the detriment of meaning. In this type of dispute, the main thing is to build a logically correct chain of arguments and present it convincingly. Reasoning and persuasiveness are the main tricks of the sophists’ argument. The laws of logic here are intended to confuse the opponent by substituting the meanings and concepts of well-known terms. As a result, in the right words, a sophist debater can give directly opposite meanings and turn the content of what was said “upside down.” Using a logical trick, he passes off a deliberately distorted erroneous reasoning as the truth.

Definition of the concept

A dispute is a clash of positions and opinions, in which each side provides arguments that allow it to defend its own understanding of the problem under discussion. At the same time, the participants in this process are trying to refute the arguments that their opponents have.

Argument is a very important means of human communication. With its help, issues that cause certain disagreements are clarified and resolved. In addition, the dispute allows us to achieve a better understanding of those things that are not clear enough and do not find a convincing justification. But even if, at the end of such a clash of opinions, the parties do not come to an agreement, they still more deeply understand both their own positions and the arguments of their opponents. In this case, such communication serves as an excellent means for exchanging ideas.

In Russian there are three meanings of the word “dispute”:

A verbal competition in which each opponent defends their positions and opinions.
Mutual claims put forward to own something. As a rule, their solution is carried out by court, negotiations, war, etc.
A synonym for the concepts of “rivalry”, “combat”, “competition”, “duel”. At the same time, the search for truth occurs only during verbal battles.

Stages of the dispute

Experts in the field of rhetoric identify five distinct stages of this process:

Confrontation stage . Here the degree of discrepancy in views on the subject of the dispute is clarified, and the initial clash of opinions begins.
Discovery stage . This period is characterized by the distribution of roles into opponent and proponent (attacker and defender).
Argumentation stage . This is the time to actively defend your position. The leading role here is played by the proponent.
Criticism stage . If the opponent does not agree with the proponent’s arguments, he begins to give counterarguments and criticize the defender’s position.
Final stage . The level of discussion between the two sides is being assessed. The dispute is resolved in favor of the winning participant.

Discussion

Such a debate is carried out on a specific topic or issue. In this case, the main goal of the discussion is to achieve agreement or determine the truth. These types of disputes are not limited by spatial or temporal boundaries, regulations, circle of participants, etc. The only constant component of discussions is the topic. Moreover, this verbal competition is not so much an argument as it is the research necessary to find the truth. That is why it does not matter which of the participants in this dispute defends their point of view. The main thing is that a specific result is obtained.

How to argue?

Psychologists advise avoiding arguments on any occasion. If the formation of a dispute cannot be avoided, you need to know how to handle it:

There is no need to deliberately provoke an aggravation of the situation.
It is recommended to find out in more detail the opinion of the interlocutor on the subject of the dispute.
Let your opponent know that his views are respected.
During the dispute, it is necessary to maintain a restrained style of behavior.
When conducting a discussion, it is useful to provide precise and unambiguous definitions.
When victory is won, you need to thank your opponent for a worthy fight. Under no circumstances should you be ostentatiously proud of your win and humiliate your opponent.

See also: CHARISMA - what is it in simple words. Charisma Development

Dispute rules

If this process is not controlled, it can create a conflict situation. There is a possibility of destroying the harmony of interpersonal relationships and leaving an unpleasant aftertaste in the soul. The art of argument is based on certain rules:

You need to avoid provocative phrases like “You’re wrong.” This is a direct message to the opponent’s incompetence. It humiliates a person's self-esteem.
It is recommended to first listen to another point of view. You need to let the person speak without interrupting him.
With the most convincing argumentation, you can give the enemy a way to retreat. Otherwise, he will enter into open confrontation.
It is recommended to strictly avoid direct insults, saving the opponent’s face. You must, under any circumstances, try to remain on good terms.
The terms of the dispute should relate only to the subject of difference of opinion, without affecting the individual.
There is no need to speculate and interpret false meanings of words. If any ambiguities arise, it is recommended to clarify all unclear points with your opponent.

Controversy

Very often this type of dispute is compared to a discussion. However, this is not quite true. The main goal of controversy is to achieve victory. That is why such a dispute is characterized by aggressiveness, intransigence of the parties, as well as ignoring all the rules that allow for a constructive dialogue. In addition, polemics, compared to discussion, have a great variety of tactics and methods of behavior.

Anyone can participate in such disputes. Moreover, you can join them at any time and anywhere. Sometimes the same issue is discussed even by people who do not know, hear or see each other. Sometimes the parties taking part in the controversy do not even understand the topic being raised. That is why it should not be surprising that controversy on some issues continues for centuries.

How to win an argument?

It is recommended to build certain tactics leading to victory. You can use the following arguments in a dispute to win:

In a conversation, you should arrange your arguments from the strongest (he will prove you right faster) to the weaker.
It is necessary to immediately warn your opponent’s possible arguments. Then he will have nothing to “cover” with.
It is better to base your defense of your arguments on identifying inaccuracies in the details of the opposing side’s position.
It will be useful to strengthen your argument with a third party.
The enemy’s vigilance can be “lulled to sleep” by telling him a few compliments.
You cannot use “empty” arguments that are not supported by facts. What kind of dispute is it if there is no evidence in it?
You should always leave the last word for yourself, hiding a “trump card” up your sleeve.
You can introduce special techniques from the psychology of communication. These are phrases like “as you well know.”

Opinion exchange

As for this means of human communication, it can hardly be called a dispute. This is just a prelude. In this case, the opposing sides only state their claims and positions. In addition, both sides study and take into account the opinions of their opponents. Only after this does the dispute begin. Sometimes the parties take a kind of time-out. This is the time when, in the silence of the office, the presented topic is studied in depth, all the weaknesses and strengths of opponents are determined, and one’s own position is corrected.

Only after such a necessary and very fruitful stage does the dispute turn out to be more effective and constructive. It is no longer that pointless chatter when the essence of the issue is not understood by either side. The exchange of views also influences further discussions and negotiations. That is why careful preparation in this case is simply necessary.

Small bonus

In conclusion, I would like to outline the debates that have reached the level of the global scientific community and have influenced the lives of each of us:

Thomas Huxley and Samuel Wilberforce regarding Charles Darwin's theory.
Alfred Wegener against everyone (dispute regarding the existence of one supercontinent Pangea).
War of currents between Thomas Edison and Nikola Tesla (direct and alternating current).

Dale Carnegie once remarked: “Be able to take the other person’s position and understand what he needs, not you. The whole world will be with the one who can do this.” In our opinion, relying on the opinion of a psychologist, the author of the concept of conflict-free communication, a speaker and a teacher is more than advisable. Of course, we will not argue if your position differs from the one presented by us, because we understand you, respect your point of view, accept the presence of differing views - after all, this is the key to success.

We wish you good luck!

We also recommend reading:

Storytelling
Controversy. What is it and why should you do it?
Plato is my friend but the truth is dearer. Who to choose: friend or truth?
Demagogic techniques
How to win arguments: lessons from Arthur Schopenhauer. Part seven
How to win arguments: lessons from Arthur Schopenhauer. Part five
Eristics - the science of winning disputes
Characteristics and types of conflict personality
How metaphors change the way we think about our own experiences.
How to calm a heated argument
Manipulation techniques in discussion

Key words:1Communication

They don't live that long

Notary Andre-François Raffret decided to save money on buying an apartment and offered the French woman Jeanne Calment, who was 90 at that time, to pay monthly rent instead. In exchange for this, Zhanna had to bequeath her apartment to him after her death.

Raffre thought that this deal would be profitable, but he was mistaken, and with him the residents of the town of Arles, who bet money on the fact that Jeanne would not live to see her 100th birthday. The Frenchwoman lived for 122 years, 2 years before her death Raffre himself died, so his children began to pay her rent.

Despite the fact that the notary's hopes were not justified, all this time he behaved very dignified. For every birthday, he presented Zhanna with a bouquet and wished her good health. She, in turn, apologized for staying on earth for so long.

Hemingway's discovery

Despite Ernest Hemingway's writing talent, his friends did not believe that a meaningful story could be contained in just a couple of sentences. Therefore, a bet was made between the writer and his friends.

As a result, Hemingway managed to write a story of a few words that conveyed a huge range of feelings. "Children's shoes for sale, unworn." In the English version, this phrase contains only 6 words and a whole range of feelings.

Now many writers successfully repeat the experience of the great writer, but still he was the first who managed to fit such capacious content into a short text.