Can a melancholic person become a sanguine person? What does our temperament depend on?

1. Is it possible to change your temperament?
2. What steps should I take?
3. Can an introvert become an extrovert, and vice versa?
4. How to influence your own character?
5. Bonus: exercise “Choleric”

“I don’t like my type of temperament. How can I change it?

– this question is most often asked by melancholic people who would like to become more calm and socially active, and – less often – by phlegmatic people. Sanguine people, as a rule, are basically satisfied with themselves, and for them this topic is not very relevant. And choleric people are quite comfortable with themselves, although they are not averse to changing most of the people around them.

Agree, it would be ideal to combine all 4 temperaments

, choosing for yourself the most useful features of each of them.
Take as a basis a balanced but flexible sanguine person; borrow from a phlegmatic person the ability to calmly respond to problems; add the talent of a choleric person to perform complex tasks with enviable ease and energy and at the same time have the sensitive nature of a melancholic person - add the desired traits yourself. But is this possible?
Let's consider a related question:
can a quiet introvert become the life of the party, and an extrovert who loves attention learn to spend time alone with himself?
Let's figure it out in order.

Temperament: an innate trait?

Do you know your temperament type? The Eysenck test will tell you which of them is the leader, and the Belov Formula will calculate the ratio of all four types in your personality.

Let's start with the fact that temperament is an innate characteristic of a person.

.
It can be compared to a default setting that sets the tone for all actions and lifestyle. However, over the course of life - depending on our social circle, the situations we encounter, the environment in which we live - individual features are modified, adjusted, and polished
.

Sometimes going beyond typical behavior can be quite striking, but usually this concerns some specific situations

.
For example, if a calm phlegmatic person is doused with ice water, then for at least a few minutes he will turn into a choleric person. The most vigorous sanguine person who has caught a cold will become lethargic and slow.
And a boss who is stern and collected at work may be considered an absent-minded good-natured person among his family and friends. The conclusion follows from this: we are not able to change our temperament as a whole, but we are able to influence our own behavior for a short time. With due diligence, such changes can be turned into a habit.

(as in the example with the boss).
But you need to be prepared for the fact that this will require a lot of effort
and, at least at the beginning, constant control of yourself.
On the other hand, such work on yourself will definitely bring the desired results
.

What steps should I take?

Remember three important postulates:

1. You shouldn’t grab onto everything at once
   (unless these are unrelated features).
2. Work with specific character traits
   .
3. Start with something positive
   rather than focusing on the negative.

Let us explain these settings with examples.

1. Let's say you are melancholic and want to become sanguine (opposite in Eysenck's square). It is unlikely that this is just an end in itself - most likely, you like some specific traits inherent in a sanguine person. Formulate for yourself which ones exactly. What specifically attracts you to this temperament that you don't have?
   Let's say you want to have the same easy-going, ability to make quick decisions and good communication skills.
   Why start working on these specific traits
   - on your own, in special classes, with a psychologist or otherwise. Thematic books, articles, webinars, etc. can help. For example, these could be courses to improve communication skills, books by decision-making gurus, etc.
2. “Tuning” temperament is difficult, but changing it sharply and in many directions is even more difficult, so it is better not to take on many traits at once
   .
   Make one desirable trait a habit, then work on the next. Make an exception only for something simple or for very similar traits that are easier to work on at the same time. For example, this could be the ability to make decisions faster and being easy-going. However, there are also people who find it easier to tackle everything once and at once
   rather than drag out the process. Evaluate what will be more effective in your case.

If you like the traits inherent in choleric people, we have prepared for you a set of tips on how to approach this type. You will find it at the end of the article.

3. As with affirmations, it is important to focus not on what is bad in your character, but on what good you want to bring and what you plan to improve
   . This is a much more constructive approach because it gives you a goal to achieve, control over the situation, forces you to look for the necessary tools and spurs you to action. In other words, not “I am slow in making decisions,” but “I want to make decisions quickly.”

What are the types?

If character types are quite difficult to identify, then with temperament everything is much simpler. Psychologists have identified 4 main types. Of course, each person is unique; there is no 100% owner of a single classification. Often, a person is endowed with mixed types, where one predominates over the other. The dominant one determines the identity of the individual.

Sanguine

Sanguine. Lightness, ease in everything. A representative of this type is optimistic about the future and takes on a new business without thinking about failures. It’s a pity that with the same ease he abandons his plans and goals, he can switch gears and get carried away by something new. Such people are characterized as irresponsible and fickle. In fact, a sanguine person can be influenced by stirring up interest in what is happening. Then he will bring everything to the end.

Choleric

The most explosive temperament is choleric. He has attacks of aggression. Imbalance and passion often get in the way of making sound decisions. Cholerics are quick-tempered, often not ready for constructive dialogue and criticism. They are overly emotional and gesticulate a lot in conversation to attract attention. Mood swings often occur, from cheerful to depressive.

Melancholic

A melancholic person is radically different from a choleric person. People of this type are reserved, unsociable, and avoid noisy companies and new acquaintances. They analyze for a long time, experience failures, and have low self-esteem. Anxious. The smallest trouble knocks them out of their working rut for a long time.

Phlegmatic person

The main characteristics of a phlegmatic temperament: constancy, endurance, loyalty to principles. Phlegmatic people are prone to laziness and may not show interest in others, while being in a great mood. Do not try to unbalance him - attempts will be in vain. Phlegmatic people are constant, faithful to their ideals to the end.

Can an introvert become an extrovert, and vice versa?

It is believed that personality type is unchanged, like temperament. However, it can also be influenced

– in general, according to the same model described above.

• If you are an introvert, but dream of making lots of friends and being the center of attention (and at the same time desperately afraid of this), there is only one way out: get out of the house and start communicating with others
  .
  Be who you want to be - talkative and friendly. At least for some time. Ask strangers questions, ask colleagues how their weekend was, attend themed festivals and clubs, meet like-minded people, ask a passerby how to get to the library. At first it will be very difficult, but it is important to overcome yourself, and you will understand that you are quite capable of it. The main thing is not to stop, even if you are rude and ridiculed. If someone did this, it speaks of his internal problems
  - not yours. Sooner or later you will definitely find friends and become more relaxed.
• If you are an extrovert who physically cannot spend a day alone and craves social interaction, try taking a break and devoting time to yourself
  . Read a book you've been wanting to start for a long time, or watch a movie your friends recommended. Meditate or take a hot bath. Keep a diary and put your thoughts on paper. This will help you understand yourself and reveal a new side of your personality.

Possible reasons for change

Having suffered a serious illness, as well as a serious illness of a loved one, can greatly influence changes in personality.
Psychology considers a number of factors that can influence a person, changing their usual way of life, their character, type of worldview, and personal attitudes. The most common reasons include:

1. Severe mental shock. It can be both negative and positive. For example, the death of a loved one or the birth of a child.
2. Having spiritual growth. A person gradually improves, daily learns about the world around him, and develops his consciousness. People who are nearby may not notice the changes that occur. As for acquaintances with whom there has been no contact for a long period, when they meet a changed person, they will immediately notice the changes that have occurred. This includes the accumulated experience that changes a person, distinguishes what he was like 10 years ago and now. After all, mistakes made and acquired wisdom allow you to look at the world around you in a new way. However, not everyone changes with age. This is due to the presence or absence of the ability to evaluate the path traveled.
3. The impact of life circumstances. For example, an individual who has served time in prison can change, both for the worse and for the better. Changing jobs, moving to a new city, all this can affect a person. Finding himself in the company of self-sufficient individuals, the individual begins to change unnoticed by himself, improving his qualities. However, some people, even in the presence of such factors, adapt to environmental changes, remaining unchanged.
4. Finance is a driver of change, both negative and positive. So, for example, a person with a closed soul, having received a large amount of money, can spend it left and right, allocate considerable sums to charity, and not regret anything. And the previously good-natured, open personality withdraws from the world around him.
5. The age crisis can leave its mark. Between thirty and forty years, there is often a lack of perfect plans that were previously outlined. A person reconsiders his views, sometimes he can change his way of existence, some qualities can strengthen and become stronger, while others can weaken. Liberation from illusions occurs. Crisis of old age (age over 70 years) - a person analyzes his past, reevaluates himself, notes positive and negative moments in his life. If everything suits him, he understands that he has the right character traits. If he becomes aware of the lack of some qualities, he tries to change himself. At this age, changes are often caused by the loss of loved ones or loneliness.
6. The presence of a protracted illness forces you to change your usual lifestyle for a long period of time. And a disease that threatens death forces you to reconsider your entire life path. Often a person changes under the influence of his approaching death, even if he managed to avoid it.

Is it possible to influence your own character?

In theory, yes, and it’s easier than changing your temperament or personality type

. In practice, such changes are not easy. Character is a complex combination of habits, behavior, way of thinking and types of mental response. A trend has been identified: with age it changes in a negative direction, therefore it is believed that older people have a more pessimistic view of life and it is more difficult to communicate with them.

There is still debate about whether genetic predisposition influences character

. Some scientists claim that behavior is not related to genes and is formed as a result of upbringing, depends on a person’s environment, his education, life circumstances and other factors. Other researchers have no doubt that there is a connection between genes and character, and evidence of this comes from experiments conducted on identical twins growing up in different environments. Separated siblings showed high similarity in reactions.

One thing is certain: there is no predetermination, and any person can make adjustments to their behavior

.
In childhood, when character is just being formed, it is easiest to influence him, but this is also possible in adulthood. The matter will be helped by the belief that the desired changes are feasible (which in fact they are) and strong motivation
- when you know exactly why you are changing.

By the way, actors have behavioral flexibility - this helps them get used to the role.

Does this mean that everyone is capable of shaping their own character to their own taste?
Let us repeat that we all know how to act atypically when necessary. For example, a person who lacks self-confidence can muster the willpower to speak energetically in front of a large audience - especially if his career depends on it. It is much more difficult not to change the way you react in a single situation, but to “reboot” the system as a whole. In many ways, it depends only on the person whether he wants to change something in himself.
The easiest way to understand which way to change is to watch how people around you react to the same situations that happen to you. A character from a book or TV series that you like will also work. Imagine how he would react to the rudeness of his boss if he were in your place - would he remain silent, laugh it off, or stand up for himself? Try to do the same. Again, first you will need to control yourself, then it will become a habit

. The main thing is to train and you will succeed!

How is it formed and when is it not too late to improve your character?

There are features that can be called innate. Of course, people are not born with characteristic features, but there are physiological prerequisites for their development. For example, if a child’s brain is very active, they say that he grasps things quickly (on the fly), they note flexibility of thinking, and a desire for knowledge. There are, on the contrary, children who are thoughtful from birth - they usually do not fall or get into trouble from the very first steps, even if they started relatively late.

But the development of temperament is largely influenced by society. In childhood, these are first parents and relatives, then kindergarten teachers and peers, and in school years - teenagers and teachers. In most cases, behavior is copied, the baby learns the rules - what is possible and what is not.

This is why it is so important what kind of example relatives set for the younger generation.

The most productive time for character development is the age from 2 to 10 years. During this period, the child’s mind is the most inquisitive, he is inclined to learn new things, but is still little adapted to thoughtful analysis, so to a greater extent the child simply repeats.

Psychologist Daria Milai

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But it's never too late to change. The best conditions for change are a transition to a different environment. For example, moving, entering a university, changing jobs. This is not only communication with people, but also the complexities of the new environment. Here there are different “laws” and norms, here you need to adapt to the majority. Usually, when a person finds himself in such a place, he is partially cross-pollinated over time. If he does not have flexibility, then they say about him that he is principled, uncompromising, although this just means that he does not adapt to his environment.

Some traits also appear at a later age - after marriage and the birth of children. These are two important stages when you have to get rid of selfishness and pride. Usually there is patience, a certain tolerance for the feelings of loved ones.

Another mechanism for the emergence of characteristic features is the development of habits. This is how parents act when they first force them to brush their teeth, ears, and clear the table in the morning and evening, and then they note the cleanliness of a family member, since he has been performing his usual actions for a long time and now cannot live without them.

Bonus: exercise “Choleric”

As we have already written, temperament cannot be changed; it is your “factory setting.” Regardless, if you want to be more alert and complete tasks faster, try practicing this set of exercises. It involves changing habits that will affect the way you behave.

.

• Speak more energetically
  . Pay attention to your manner of speaking. Make your speech louder and more emotionally rich (no need to chatter). Analyze words less and put more emotion into them.
• Gesture
  . Make your movements look more expressive. Practice in front of a mirror if necessary.
• Use facial expressions
  . Smile, raise your eyebrows, frown. Let your body language do the talking.
• Change your gait
  . Move more energetically and faster. Don't rush at full speed, just walk more cheerfully and confidently.
• Think fast
  . This is not easy, especially for phlegmatic and melancholic people who need time to think and are not sure of the final decision. Just try not to ruminate for too long on unimportant matters, and you will feel how many things become easier.
• Do it right away
  . Down with procrastination: don’t put off small tasks, but complete them as soon as possible, ideally this very minute. Send your colleague the letter he has been waiting for in the morning, water the flowers, call the client - and your thoughts will be free from annoying matters.

Make it a habit to follow these tips every day and you will see yourself become more confident.

Internal factors

Internal factors include human nature. From birth, people are endowed with different mental properties, temperament, inclinations and qualities. With successful socialization, there is a gradual disclosure of potential, maturation and development that corresponds to the essence and nature of a particular person. The need for self-determination, self-realization and self-actualization is the main internal force for change.

In this case, people change for something or after something. For example, when they understand that their previous lifestyle is harmful to them and spoils their health. Or when they understand that the desired profession and standard of living lacks certain qualities, habits, and skills.

Who is a melancholic person?

Melancholic is one of the 4 types of temperament in modern psychology. Who is a melancholic person in three words:

• closed;
• compassionate;
• introvert.

This type of temperament is also characterized by a slow response, hence the slowness, unhurriedness, and desire to get to the heart of the matter. Often children with this type of temperament create fictional worlds and live in them, not wanting to face the reality that frightens them. They behave distantly, which angers parents, school teachers and peers. Over the years, such people finally close themselves off, allowing only a select few into their fictional world.

What is a reason for anger and aggression for a choleric person, is the end of the world for a melancholic person. This type of temperament is susceptible to depression, anxiety and other mental disorders. In addition, constant scandals and hysterics can lead to breakdowns in the close circle of such a person. Therefore, it is very important for emotional individuals to monitor their mental health and their actions in society.

Pros and cons of temperament

Why others love melancholic people:

• high degree of compassion;
• romanticized self-sacrifice inherent in literary heroes;
• devotion;
• high creative potential.

But here are the undeniable disadvantages for which society dislikes them:

• timidity;
• indecision;
• the desire to keep everything to oneself;
• eternal complaints;
• everyone is bad - I’m good or “the world is built against me.”

How to determine the temperament of a woman or man by appearance

The type of temperament is often clearly characterized by external signs. So, for example, a caricatured melancholic is thin, tall, with an elongated and sad face.

This is how the famous artist H. Bidstrup described the external features of the various types:

More details about each type:

1. Sanguine people have round shapes and may be overweight. Medium or short height. The gait is relaxed, swaggering. The face is round or heart-shaped, the nose is most often bulbous or slightly upturned. Cheekbones are not pronounced.
2. Phlegmatic people are slow, recognized by their measured, unhurried gait. Although they have a strong physique, they are also prone to obesity. The body is firmly built, barrel-shaped, tall. Facial features rarely have sharp and memorable shapes.
3. Cholerics are easy to recognize: they are thin people with pointed facial features. Their movements are energetic and fast. The nose is clearly defined, often with a hump.
4. Melancholic people are pale, thin, and have a sickly appearance. The lips are thin, the corners of the mouth are downturned, which gives the face an expression of deep sadness.

Don't make hasty conclusions based on a person's appearance: it can often be deceiving. Only a psychologist can accurately determine a person’s temperament.

How to survive if you are melancholic

As soon as you take a temperament test and see a disappointing result, panic begins in your head. The question arises: “what should I do if I’m melancholic?” Contrary to stereotypes, this is not the worst temperament. It is important for vulnerable individuals to learn stress resistance and apply this skill in everyday life.

Where to get energy or a short guide on how to become happy

1. Minimize communication with toxic people who bring negativity into your life.
2. Do not get carried away with caffeine and other nervous system stimulants.
3. Spend more time in the fresh air, watch your sleep patterns and diet.
4. Play sports.
5. Plan your work schedule so that you have time for self-development and spiritual practices.

Don't rush to label yourself and come up with excuses. Remember that how others treat you will depend on how you present yourself.

Melancholic in relationships

The personality of such a person is multifaceted and difficult for superficial perception.

People with this type of temperament are closed, it is difficult to extract information from them if they do not like you. A melancholic person is a person who will be selflessly devoted to his friends and soulmate, because it is difficult for him to find new acquaintances.

A partner with this type of temperament is very loyal and reliable. If he opens up to you, you are very lucky and he undoubtedly likes you.

Who is suitable for a relationship?

A sanguine partner ideally complements the romantic nature of a melancholic person, charging him with positivity at a difficult moment. The melancholic person, in turn, balances the unbridled joy of the sanguine person.

Relationships with choleric and phlegmatic people will not be so successful. With a calm and “don’t care” partner, a person with a melancholic type of temperament will experience a lack of love and will not feel desired. A choleric person is capable of literally “crushing” such a person with his emotional outbursts. A melancholic person will close himself off and hide his feelings.

Where and how to find a girl

Since introverts find it easier to communicate online, it’s worth starting your acquaintance with thematic sites. You can look into VK city groups dedicated to dating. To get started, establish friendships online and go on a couple of dates.

Don't despair if you couldn't find your soul mate right away. For some, this process takes years, depending on your luck.

How does a melancholic person behave when he lies?

Due to their emotionality, such people are bad at hiding lies. It is quite easy to discern untruths: chaotic movements, darting eyes, confusion of thoughts. Due to their temperamental characteristics, they lie quite rarely.

Professional qualities of a melancholic person

Melancholic people achieve the greatest success in professions that do not require constant contact with people. People with great creative potential and a broad mind are suitable for creative professions that require concentration on detail. Calm, leisurely work will appeal to people of this temperament most.

What to work with: top 10 professions

• research scientist;
• university teacher, researcher;
• programmer-developer;
• System Administrator;
• accountant;
• Graphic Designer;
• architect;
• musician, performer;
• jeweler;
• librarian, archivist.

Where melancholic people cannot work calmly

Such people will not be able to build a career in areas with constant conflicts and frequent stressful situations. Melancholic people also feel bad in areas where it is necessary to make their way to the goal through persuasion and new acquaintances. Namely:

• advertiser;
• policeman, fireman;
• businessman;
• leader, director, manager;
• work in the service sector.