Independence of decisions and the desire for it: what does initiative depend on?

Essays
9th grade and OGE
Independence, what is independence?

All people, growing up, acquire some kind of life experience, and with it certain character traits. One of these is independence. This is an important quality that every person needs in life.

Independence is the ability to make decisions without outside interference, to sensibly evaluate the positive and negative aspects of any issue, and on the basis of this to draw a conclusion on what to do. Independence implies that a person sets certain goals for himself and achieves them himself. This property begins to manifest itself at an early age, when the child has a desire to do something himself. This is a natural human need. It is very important to let children take the initiative so as not to discourage them from doing something themselves in the future.

Being independent does not mean refusing outside help, it means being able to choose the right path in life, having your own point of view, and being able to stand up for your interests. A person who has this quality can be called a truly adult, because this is the only correct criterion for assessing the formation of personality.

An example of the manifestation of independence is the main character of the story “French Lessons”. He had no means of livelihood in a foreign city and without relatives, so he decided to play for money in order to earn at least something for himself. He understood that his mother could not send more, and he did not want to burden her with the message that life was very difficult for him there. That is why he made this decision, and subsequently answered for his choice. This characterizes him as an independent person.

“The Tale of How One Man Fed Two Generals” by Saltykov-Shchedrin accuses the heroes of the work of their inability to live without outside help. Once on the island, they could do absolutely nothing for their survival, because they had not learned anything and knew nothing. They had to find a man to serve them. The generals are the personification of the nobility, who were completely dependent on the serfs. They act as an anti-example of self-sufficiency and independence.

To become a successful and happy person, you should not do what other people think is necessary, you need to be able to think for yourself, learn a lot and be responsible for your decisions. It is very important to cultivate independence, because the future of every person is in his own hands.

Forms of expression of independence

Photo by Marlon Schmeiski: Pexels
Self-reliance comes in three main forms:

free will;
lack of guilt for one’s freedom;
responsibility.

An independent person has free will. He decides how to live, where to work, who to date, when to start a family and whether to start one at all. Have children or build a career, or do both. To exercise or not to exercise. That is, you decide how you want to live, you build your own life.

The second form of showing independence is that you don’t feel guilty about your lifestyle. You realize your moral and social right to live the way you want.

Many adults, even allowing themselves to live the way they want, are constantly faced with feelings of guilt. For example, a woman who went to meet her friends may feel guilty before her husband. Or a girl who decided to become a freelancer rather than a school teacher may feel guilty before her parents, who expected her to follow in their footsteps.

Unadapted to life, dependent: dependent personality disorder

You may even feel guilty for being lazy and doing nothing all day, although you realize that you have every right to do so. But you can’t get rid of guilt. This happens because within us there are attitudes that, if we violate them, it seems to us that we are doing wrong. These attitudes limit our true independence.

Responsibility is the main characteristic feature of independence. One is impossible without the other. It is the fear of responsibility that prevents a person from becoming independent.

When making one choice or another, we are faced with the consequences of this choice. And they may not always be pleasant. Any choice can entail problems that must be solved by the person who made this choice.

Why do we make decisions so easily when in a group? We share responsibility with all its participants and we have, sometimes an imaginary, idea that we will all deal with the consequences of the decision made together. But this is not always the case.

True independence is expressed in the willingness to take responsibility for oneself, one’s life, one’s work, and each of one’s decisions.

Types of self-sufficiency

There are several types of self-sufficiency. The division into types is based on different areas of life where this quality is necessary and applied. Using this classification, we can tell whether a person is self-sufficient in a particular area. Let's give them a definition.

Psychological self-sufficiency.

This is exactly the type that is most often implied in discussions about the concept itself. A psychologically self-sufficient person is an integral personality who has a rich inner world. He doesn't need anyone's support. On the contrary, he himself often becomes a support for others.

Self-sufficient people radiate confidence and calmness; they are excellent conversationalists and advisers. Photo by Alexandr Podvalny: Pexels

They are not familiar with the fear of loneliness. They are comfortable alone with themselves, they always know what to do with themselves.

Psychological lack of self-sufficiency is characteristic of infantilism.

Social self-sufficiency

A person who is self-sufficient socially has a job and a hobby. He is successful in his profession, constantly implements his plans, and improves himself. Important: this also means complete financial self-sufficiency – the opportunity to earn your own living. Has, for example, his own home, car or other social benefits. Moreover, he determines the need for these benefits for himself. These are not stereotypes imposed by society in the style of “this is how it should be”, “this is correct”, but exactly what the person himself wants. He sets goals and achieves them thanks to his abilities.

Always being busy and in demand is the life credo of a self-sufficient person.

Economic self-sufficiency

This type of self-sufficiency is necessary to carry out daily household tasks. For example, people who are able to independently take care of themselves in everyday life - cook dinner, clean the apartment, put their things in order - are considered self-sufficient in economic terms. For many, these skills are taken for granted. But there are people who are deprived of them. In some cases, this seriously complicates life, making a person completely helpless. Advice: economic skills and abilities should be developed in a child from early childhood.

Teach children independence from an early age. Photo by Yan Krukov: Pexels

Signs of independence

Independence is a complex phenomenon that cannot be considered separately from the personality, aspects of upbringing, and the social environment in which this personality developed.

An independent personality has a number of characteristic features:

adequate self-esteem;
feeling of self-confidence;

Giphy

internal locus of control;
need for self-affirmation;
initiative;
ability to make decisions;
responsibility;
ability to set goals;
refusal of conformity.

Independence and its relationship with other personality characteristics. article

Independence and its relationship with other personality characteristics.

Independence is one of the leading qualities of a person, expressed in the ability to set a specific goal, persistently strive to achieve it on one’s own, take a responsible attitude towards one’s activities, and act consciously and proactively not only in familiar surroundings, but also in new conditions that require making non-standard decisions. .

Independence is an action that a person carries out on his own, without the prompting or help of others.

Independence is the ability to rely only on one’s own strengths.

Independence – independence from the opinions of others, freedom to express one’s feelings, creativity.

Independence is the ability to manage yourself, your time and your life.

Independence is the ability to set tasks that no one else has set and solve them yourself.

Independence is inextricably linked with such a psychological aspect as will, where the child consciously regulates his behavior and activities, which is expressed in the ability to overcome difficulties in achieving his goal. In preschool children, will is associated with the task of self-mastery, that is, the development of independence, conscious control of one’s mental processes: (attention, memory, behavior).

Self-care is also important:

A system of knowledge, skills and abilities that allow the subject to independently maintain himself and personal belongings in a condition that complies with accepted sanitary, hygienic and household standards.
A type of child labor that is aimed at personal care (washing, dressing, hair care, cleaning, shoe care, preparing the workplace, etc.) and includes a set of cultural and hygienic skills.

Self-organization is the activity and ability of a preschooler associated with the ability to organize oneself, which allows for purposefulness, activity, validity of motivation, planning of one’s activities, independence, quick decision-making and responsibility for them, critical assessment of the results of one’s actions, and a sense of duty.

Self-knowledge is the process of awareness and comprehension by a preschooler of himself, the reasons for his actions, actions, experiences, characteristic forms and ways of responding to various situations.

Self-awareness is a child’s conscious attitude towards his individual and personal properties, experiences and thoughts. Self-awareness is closely related to the self-esteem of a preschool child; these characteristics are manifested in the fact that the child strives to perform activities that are significant for himself and those around him, is aware of his position in the system of relationships with adults and peers, and adequately evaluates the results of his activities. Preschool children are characterized by high self-esteem, which is a kind of protective mechanism for maintaining a positive attitude towards oneself (self-esteem). Based on self-awareness and self-esteem, by the age of 7 the child develops a sense of self-esteem, which is manifested in the ability to maintain a certain distance between himself and the surrounding children and adults and to defend his position in joint activities.

Independent speech is speech without direct reliance on a ready-made model in the form of spoken words, phrases, sentences.

Freedom is necessary for the child to fully express his will.

Self-confidence is a trait that also forms a behavioral feature in a child and gives his “I” his personality excessive significance in the system of interpersonal relationships or in specific activities. Self-confidence contributes to the predominance of a positive assessment of children’s actions and activities, which they transfer to their assessment of their personality as a whole.

Self-affirmation is the desire to realize one’s own claims for recognition and the behavior caused by this desire. Ideally, self-affirmation ends in self-realization. Self-realization is a person’s highest desire to realize his talents and abilities (in A. Maslow’s hierarchy of needs).

Independence is also associated with the responsibility of a preschool child - this is manifested in the fact that the child has self-service skills, notices a violation of order in everyday life and the natural environment, and is able to show strong-willed efforts in situations of choice between “can” and “cannot”, “I want” and “ must".

The first manifestations of independence in children's activities are seen even in pre-preschool age. Every healthy child strives, within the limits of his still small capabilities, for some independence from adults in everyday practical life. The foundation of independence is laid at the border of early and preschool age; the further development of independence as a personal quality during preschool childhood is associated with the development of basic activities: games, household work, design, artistic and educational activities. Each type of children's activity has a unique impact on the development of activity and initiative, the search for adequate ways of self-expression in activities, the development of methods of self-control, the development of the volitional aspect of independence, etc.

In the practice of preschool education, the problem of preschooler independence in everyday work is given a special place. Independence is fostered when children perform responsibilities to serve themselves and loved ones; the level of independence is associated with the development of social experience of work activity, the possibility of a child demonstrating a subjective position in work. The independence of children develops from independence of a reproductive nature to independence with elements of creativity, with a steady increase in the role of children's consciousness, self-control and self-esteem in the implementation of activities.

Educators very subjectively and sometimes mistakenly divide children into “skillful, independent, good helpers” and “helpless incompetents.” Often, independence is suppressed by excessive guardianship, regulation of actions, correction by adults in front of children of the results of their low-quality work, unkind assessment of children's work activity, ignoring the feelings and emotions of the child, humiliating his dignity. Insufficient attention is paid to the child’s subjective position in work, the formation of motivation, goal setting, and control and evaluation skills.

In the joint work activities of adults and children, genuine cooperation is not always observed. This is due to the fact that educators, when supervising child labor, choose an educational and disciplinary model of pedagogical influence.

The insufficient level of independence of preschoolers in everyday work is also due to miscalculations in building a developmental environment in kindergartens. The experience of a child living in a kindergarten does not sufficiently prepare him for life in the modern world, and the work is artificial.

In kindergartens and in the families of pupils, situations should be created that require attention to the inclusion of the child in labor actions due to a motive that is significant for the child. In order for children to understand the social significance of household work in educational work with them, we use fiction that is appropriate in content (“Look at the toys” by E. Balagina, etc.), illustrations for books, pictures (for example, “Duty”, “Preparation in the family for the holiday"), conversations based on these materials.

The high variability of models and the rich content of daily work activity allow each child to demonstrate his individuality, independent behavior and receive positive emotions from recognition of his skills by adults.

By age 6, children have mastered many basic self-care skills and are tasked with helping each other get dressed. It is everyday and can be implemented whenever the child himself cannot cope with it: tie a scarf at the back, fasten the buttons at the back of a dress, untie a knot of ribbon. What children can do for themselves is considered reprehensible to do for them.

Observations of children's behavior are interesting in this regard. For a long time the boy could not fasten the buttons on his coat; he did it diligently, but each time the buttons were torn out of his hands at the moment when the edges fell into the loop. The girl offered to help the boy button his coat. The boy readily agreed, but then unbuttoned all the buttons and began to button them again. When asked why he did this, the boy stated: “I myself, now I can do it.”

As observations show, girls master this skill faster. The exercises that they constantly do, playing with dolls - fastening buttons and hooks, lacing, tying - contribute to the development of small arm muscles, so it is easier for them than boys to cope with these actions. Girls readily help those who cannot cope.

The role of the educator is to lead this process. It is necessary that children who do not know how to tie their shoes should be taught to tie their shoes by children who already know how to do it. They willingly teach their peers and jealously monitor their progress.

Sometimes in children by the age of 6, you can observe a decrease in interest in self-care work. This is caused by the simplicity and monotony of actions, frequent repetition of activities (dressing, cleaning toys, etc.), as well as the child’s insufficiently developed skills of independence, neatness, and cleanliness at the previous stage. Therefore, it is necessary to pay more attention to children’s self-care exercises, to interest them in the variety of this work, and to create a certain emotional atmosphere. Thus, the condition for consolidating self-service skills, turning them into habits, and at the same time the condition for developing independence in everyday activities is maintaining interest in it. This is facilitated by the emotional experiences that the child experiences when undressing and dressing. That is why, at this age level, encouragement and objective assessment of his activities are so necessary. Educators gradually teach children to evaluate their own achievements in self-care and correct deficiencies on their own initiative.

Bibliography

Bozhovich L. I. Personality and its formation in childhood.// St. Petersburg: “Peter” - 2008
Vygotsky L. S. The problem of the cultural development of the child.// M.: Vest. Moscow University - 1991
Maslow A.G. Motivation and personality.// St. Petersburg: Eurasia, 1999
Kovalev A.G. Education of the mind, will and feelings in children. - M., 1981
Makarenko A.S. About education. M.: Politizdat, 1988

When and how do we become independent?

It may seem that a person who turns 18 automatically becomes independent. It seems like it was intended that way. But in fact, this may not happen at 30 or at 40, especially if the person remains dependent on his parents.

Moving from the parental home and starting your own family also does not guarantee that a person has become independent.

So, when does it begin, this very independence?

When a 5-month-old baby reaches for something with his hands, this is already an act of independence. Still immature, incomplete, unconscious, he is just beginning to learn it. At the age of 3, there comes a period when independence blossoms in all its colors.

Photo by cottonbro: Pexels

A three-year-old child wants to do everything himself. Tie your own shoelaces, climb onto a chair yourself, get milk out of the refrigerator yourself. During this period, the child realizes that he is a separate independent person who has free will.

Lack of independence

To be honest, I am more frightened by the condition of children who do everything obediently. Step by step: what they said, they did. Such a child becomes so accustomed to constant care and external guidance that he cannot take even a single step on his own or make even the smallest decision without looking back.

In the absence of parents, he sticks to the teacher, and as he grows up, to authoritative peers. Do you know these types? But he doesn’t argue, he does his homework when you tell him to, and he eats soup without question.

So who is more independent? The one who argues and defends something of his own or the one who obediently carries out?

How to develop your independence

It's never too late to learn to be independent. This can be done by any person at any age who strives for self-development and is able to take a critical look at himself and his life. Since independence is a complex, complex phenomenon, it is necessary to approach its development in a comprehensive manner.

To develop your independence:

work on increasing your self-esteem;
set your goals correctly;
determine in which area you want to assert yourself;
start taking responsibility for your life;
learn to make decisions on your own.

From the outside it may seem that this is quite difficult, but in reality it is not so.

Increasing your self-esteem means learning to praise yourself, recognize and appreciate your merits, and believe that you will succeed.

Photo by Monstera: Pexels

It doesn’t matter how much time you personally need, you have the right to move at a speed that is comfortable for you. Stop comparing yourself to others, because you are an independent, unique person. Realize what your strengths and weaknesses are. Look back at your life and notice how much you have already achieved.

Learn to set goals correctly. Both small and global. Try to separate those goals that you “should” achieve because your parents or society say so, and concentrate on the ones that you “want” to achieve. In what area do you want to realize yourself? What social status do you want to have? This is all a zone of your personal growth.

Learn to take responsibility for your life and your decisions. It depends only on you what kind of life you will live. Give up the habit of blaming others for your failures and attributing your successes to “chance.”

How to teach a child to order

Parents are very often upset by the fact that their already grown child does not want to maintain order and take care of self-care issues. He makes his bed only after reminders, things are scattered around the room, and the dishes are not cleared away after eating. How to prevent such a situation from developing? According to most adults, a child's only responsibility is to put toys in their places. But experienced teachers assure that it is better to teach a child to order before the age of five. This will be much more difficult to do later. The baby is able to fetch himself a cup, put a plate in the sink and perform many other simple tasks already at one and a half years old, if, of course, you give him such an opportunity. If you do everything for him, then how will he learn to be independent?

How to learn to make decisions on your own

Why is this difficult? We are afraid of responsibility, afraid of making the wrong choice, of failing, so we either avoid making a decision or try to find someone who will make this decision for us.

Photo by cottonbro: Pexels

Conformism excludes independence. Every time you make decisions, try to isolate yourself from the opinions of others and listen to yourself. Do you really want it? Does this decision really seem right to you? Will it lead you to happiness? Or is it the people around you who say so?

Of course, independence does not mean that you need to stop listening to the advice of others. But it is necessary to evaluate them with a degree of healthy criticality, as if “trying them on” for yourself. What others say may be correct, the main question is whether it is right for you.

Give up the fear of failure.

In fact, in life, we all fail at something all the time. Especially when we do something for the first time. This is fine. Like children who always fail at first. But they keep trying. From failures we learn, gain experience and grow. We have the right to make mistakes, the main thing is what you do after this mistake - give up, give up further attempts, or continue to move towards your intended goal.

Qualities of a self-sufficient person

Self-sufficiency is a whole set of psychological qualities. Please note: many people often confuse it with independence. But these are different things. An independent person may have aspirations for financial independence, but at the same time remain weak. A self-sufficient person is also strong internally.

Self-sufficiency of a woman

Today, self-sufficiency has become an important quality for a woman. Many people perceive a self-sufficient lady as a strict businesswoman, but such characteristics do not always fully satisfy self-sufficiency. Here the substitution of concepts dictated by the stereotypes of modern society is already beginning. Softness and femininity are not at all a sign of lack of self-sufficiency. So what is she like, a self-sufficient woman?

At a minimum, this is an adult and mature person who adequately assesses himself and his capabilities, looks at life realistically, does not create illusions, and treats others and himself with respect in the first place. She is full of strength and energy, does not stop there, continuing to develop the best qualities in herself. He may have a favorite thing, a hobby, a job that brings not only financial stability and confidence in the future, but also moral satisfaction.

Please note: self-realization is an important condition for female self-sufficiency. Without self-realization there will be no self-confidence, which distinguishes a self-sufficient person. You don't have to have a spectacular career to be self-fulfilled. Each woman determines her own needs: for some it is important to earn big money and have a high status, for others it is enough to simply do what they love to realize their potential. In any of these cases, the woman will be socially self-sufficient, because she is already financially independent.

A self-sufficient woman is a priori smart, has self-esteem, and such a person always takes care of his appearance. Both internal and external. She is not helpless in everyday life, she always looks great and keeps order around her. She is an interesting and harmonious person who does not compete with others, but is ahead only of herself. In the family it gives close people an atmosphere of calm.

A woman who is pleased with herself is a wonderful mother and wife! Pixabay Photos

A self-sufficient woman is independent of a man. Not only financially, but also emotionally. She respects herself and never enters into dependent relationships. At the same time, he does not deliberately flaunt his strength and capabilities. Despite the fact that she can do everything herself, she does not go to extremes and does not refuse reasonable help when it is required. This is what a self-sufficient woman means.

Self-sufficiency of a man

A self-sufficient man is a rock: calm, self-confident, reliable, honest with himself and with the people around him. At the same time, he is very strong in spirit, knows when not to give in, and defends his rights and life principles. He has many qualities that form the basis of a real masculine character.

He always has a clear plan of action; it is difficult to lead him astray while achieving his goal. He has a job he loves and earns good money. He knows what responsibility is not only for himself, but also for his loved ones. Solve problem situations with ease. Practically, a dream man.

Self-sufficient men always achieve their goals. Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

Please note: not every woman will be comfortable in a relationship with him. Such men do not quickly decide to start a family; they value their freedom. They are realized, live life to the fullest, and it is difficult for them to change anything in it.

A self-sufficient man is quite direct and demanding. He will always consider himself the main one in the relationship. His word will most likely be decisive. But at the same time, he is ready to make compromises for the sake of his loved one, if he feels sincerity.

He sees the falsity immediately, because he himself is honest in life and demands the same attitude towards himself. He does not tolerate it when they try to manipulate him. He chooses the worthy. Only a wise and internally strong woman can be next to him.