§ 1. Business conversation as the main form of business communication

A bad beginning can lead to a bad ending.

Euripides

The practice of business relations shows that in solving problems associated with interpersonal contact, much depends on how partners (interlocutors) are able to establish contact with each other. With all the variety of forms of business communication, business conversation is the most common and most often used.

The concept of “business conversation” is very broad and quite vague: it is simply a business conversation between interested parties, and oral contact between partners connected by business relations.

A business conversation is understood as verbal communication between interlocutors who have the necessary authority from their organizations and firms to establish business relationships, resolve business problems or develop a constructive approach to solving them.

A business conversation is the most favorable, often the only opportunity to convince your interlocutor of the validity of your position so that he agrees and supports it. Thus, one of the main tasks of a business conversation is to convince a partner to accept specific proposals.

The main stages of a business conversation are*:

starting a conversation;

informing partners;

argumentation of the proposed provisions;

decision-making;

ending the conversation.

Our goal is not to consider the ethical features and rules of conducting a business conversation. Quite a lot has been written about how to conduct business conversations correctly, what principles and rules should be followed (see List of references). We are interested in the psychological characteristics of a business conversation. Psychological characteristics include, first of all, those elements that are associated with the personality of the participants in a business conversation - their character, temperament, mood, attitude, abilities, skills - in a word, everything that lies in the context of a business conversation or accompanies it on a non-verbal level.

Introduction

In business relationships, a lot depends on personal meetings, conversations, meetings, so business etiquette here is a kind of mediator, allowing, on the one hand, to find a common solution, on the other hand, to maintain a certain distance, smooth out rough edges and get out of difficult or unpleasant situations with dignity situations.
By nature and content, communication can be formal (business) and informal (secular, everyday, everyday).

Business communication is a process of interconnection and interaction in which activities, information and experience are exchanged that involve achieving a certain result, solving a specific problem or realizing a certain goal.

Business communication can be divided into direct (direct contact) and indirect (when there is a space-time distance between partners).

Direct business communication has greater effectiveness, the power of emotional impact and suggestion than indirect one; the socio-psychological mechanisms that we discussed earlier are directly at work in it.

In general, business communication differs from ordinary (informal) communication in that in its process goals and specific tasks are set that require solutions. In business communication, we cannot stop interacting with a partner (at least without losses for both parties). In ordinary friendly communication, specific tasks are most often not set, specific goals are not pursued. Such communication can be stopped (at the request of the participants) at any time.

We are primarily interested in the psychological characteristics of direct participants in business communication, their ability and ability to influence a partner, and their ability to achieve effective results.

Let's think about what it means to start a conversation.

Some believe that the beginning of a conversation is determined by circumstances, others believe that it is necessary to start a conversation with a specific question, and others simply do not think about it. And only a few understand and think about this problem, realizing its importance.

Figuratively speaking, this process can be compared to tuning instruments before a concert. In any case, at this stage of the conversation you need to develop a correct and correct attitude towards your interlocutor. After all, the beginning of a conversation is a kind of bridge between us and the interlocutor.

In the first phase of the conversation, we set the following tasks:

establish contact with the interlocutor;

create a favorable atmosphere for conversation;

draw attention to the topic of conversation;

arouse the interlocutor's interest.

Oddly enough, many conversations end before they even begin, especially if the interlocutors are at different social levels (by position, education, etc.). The reason is that the first phrases of the conversation are too insignificant.

It should be borne in mind that it is the first few sentences that often have a decisive impact on the interlocutor, i.e. on his decision to listen to us or not. Interlocutors usually listen more attentively to the beginning of a conversation, often out of curiosity or anticipation of something new. It is the first two or three sentences that create the interlocutor’s internal attitude towards us and the conversation; based on the first phrases, the interlocutor gets an impression of us.

Let us give several typical examples of the so-called suicidal conversation starters and analyze them.

So, you should always avoid apologizing and showing signs of insecurity. Negative examples: “Sorry if I interrupted...”; “I would like to hear again...”; “Please, if you have time to listen to me...”

It is necessary to avoid any manifestations of disrespect and disregard for the interlocutor, which are indicated by the following phrases: “Let’s quickly consider...”; “I just happened to be passing by and dropped in to see you...”; “And I have a different opinion on this matter...”

Your first questions should not force your interlocutor to look for counterarguments and take a defensive position. Although this is a logical and completely normal reaction, at the same time, from a psychological point of view, it is a mistake.

Questions from interlocutors and their psychological essence

Information does not come to us on its own; to obtain it, we need to ask questions. You should not be afraid of questions from your interlocutors, as they allow you to activate the participants in the conversation and direct the process of transmitting information in the necessary direction. Questions provide the interlocutor with the opportunity to express himself and show what he knows. We must not forget that most people are reluctant to answer direct questions for many reasons. That is why you should first interest your interlocutor.

There are five main groups of questions.

1. Closed questions. These are questions that expect a yes or no answer. They help create a tense atmosphere in the conversation, so such questions must be used with a strictly defined purpose. When asking such questions, the interlocutor gets the impression that he is being interrogated. Therefore, closed questions should not be asked when we need to obtain information, but only in cases where we want to quickly obtain consent or confirmation of a previously reached agreement. ;
2. Open questions. These are questions that cannot be answered “yes” or “no”; they require some kind of explanation. These are the so-called questions “what?”, “who?”, “how?”, “how much?”, “why?”. In what cases are such questions asked? When we need additional information or when we want to find out the motives and position of our interlocutors. The basis for such questions is the positive or neutral position of the interlocutor towards us. In this situation, we may lose the initiative, as well as the sequence of development of the topic, since the conversation may turn towards the interests and problems of the interlocutor. The danger is also that you can completely lose control over the course of the conversation.
3. Rhetorical questions. These questions are not answered directly, as their purpose is to raise new questions and point to unresolved problems.

What is the purpose of asking such questions? By asking a rhetorical question, the speaker hopes to “turn on” the interlocutor’s thinking and direct him in the right direction.

An excellent example of the role of rhetorical questions was given by the outstanding Russian lawyer F.N. Ilevako. Once he defended an old beggar woman who was accused of stealing a French bun. She was of noble birth and was therefore subject to the jurisdiction of the jury.' The prosecutor who spoke before Plevako delivered an hour-long indictment, the meaning of which boiled down to the fact that although the crime that the old woman committed was minor, she must be convicted to the fullest extent of the law, since the law is the law and any, even minor, violation of it undermines it foundations, the foundations of autocracy, and, ultimately, causes irreparable harm to the Russian Empire. The prosecutor's speech was emotional and made a great impression on the audience.

The lawyer’s speech consisted of several phrases and the main semantic load lay precisely on the rhetorical question. He said the following: “Dear gentlemen of the jury! It’s not for me to remind you of how many trials our state has faced and how many of them Russia emerged victorious. Neither the Tatar-Mongol invasion nor the invasions of the Turks, Swedes, and French could undermine the foundations of the Russian Empire. Do you think the Russian Empire can bear the loss of one French bun?” The defendant was acquitted.

1. Crucial questions. They keep the conversation in a strictly established direction or raise a whole new set of problems. Such questions are asked in cases where we have already received enough information on one problem and want to “switch” to another. The danger in these situations is the imbalance between us and our interlocutors.
2. Questions to think about. They force the interlocutor to reflect, carefully consider and comment on what has been said. The purpose of these questions is to create an atmosphere of mutual understanding.

There are many ways to start a conversation, but practice has developed a number of “correct openings.”

Here are some of them.

1. The method of relieving tension allows you to establish close contact with your interlocutor. It is enough to say a few warm words - and you will easily achieve this. You just need to ask yourself: how would your interlocutors want to feel in your company? A joke that will make those present smile or laugh will also go a long way toward defusing initial tension and creating a friendly environment for conversation.
2. The “hook” method allows you to briefly outline a situation or problem, linking it to the content of the conversation. For these purposes, you can successfully use some small event, comparison, personal impressions, anecdotal incident or unusual question.
3. The direct approach method means going straight to the point without any introduction. Schematically, it looks like this: we briefly communicate the reasons why the conversation was scheduled, quickly move from general questions to specific ones, and proceed to the topic of the conversation. This technique is “cold” and rational, it is direct in nature and is most suitable for short-term and not very important business contacts.

It is very important to remember our personal approach to the conversation. The basic rule is that the conversation should begin with the so-called “you approach.” “You-approach” is the ability of the person conducting the conversation to put himself in the place of the interlocutor in order to better understand him. Let’s ask ourselves the following questions: “What would interest us if we were in the place of our interlocutor?”; “How would we react if we were in his place?” These are already the first steps in the direction of the “you-approach”. We make the interlocutor feel that we respect and value him as a specialist.

Parrying remarks from your interlocutors

Your interlocutor's comments mean that he is actively listening to you, watching your speech, carefully checking your argument, and thinking everything through. They believe that an interlocutor without comments is a person without his own opinion. That is why the interlocutor’s comments and arguments should not be considered as obstacles during the conversation. They make the conversation easier because they give us the opportunity to understand what else needs to be convinced of the interlocutor and what he generally thinks about the essence of the matter.

The following types of comments exist:

• unspoken remarks;
• ironic remarks;
• comments for the purpose of obtaining information;
• comments to prove yourself;
• subjective comments;
• objective comments;
• remarks for the purpose of resistance.

Let's take a closer look at them. We will be interested in what are the reasons for such comments, how to treat them and how to respond to them.

Unspoken remarks. These are comments that the interlocutor does not have time, does not want or does not dare to express, so we ourselves must identify and neutralize them.

Prejudice. They are among the reasons that cause unpleasant remarks, especially in cases where the interlocutor's point of view is completely wrong. His position is based on emotional grounds, and all logical arguments are useless here. We see that the interlocutor uses aggressive argumentation, puts forward special demands and sees only the negative sides of the conversation.

The reason for such comments is most likely a wrong approach on your part, antipathy towards you, unpleasant impressions. In such a situation, you need to find out the motives and point of view of the interlocutor, and approach mutual understanding.

Ironic (sarcastic) remarks. Such remarks are a consequence of the interlocutor’s bad mood, and sometimes his desire to test your restraint and patience. You will notice that the comments are not closely related to the flow of the conversation and are defiant and even offensive.

What to do in such a situation? You should check whether the remark is made seriously or is in the nature of a challenge. In any case, you cannot follow your interlocutor’s lead. Your reaction can either be witty or you should not react to such remarks.

Comments for information purposes. Such comments are evidence of the interest of your interlocutor and the existing shortcomings in the transfer of information.

Most likely the reason is that your argument is not clear. The interlocutor wants to receive additional information or he has overheard some details. You must give a calm and confident answer.

Comments to prove yourself. These remarks can be explained by the desire of the interlocutor to express his own opinion. He wants to show that he has not succumbed to your influence and that in this matter he is as impartial as possible.

These types of comments may be caused by too much argumentation on your part and perhaps by your opinionated tone. What to do in such a situation? It is necessary that your interlocutor finds confirmation of his ideas and opinions.

Subjective comments. Such remarks are typical for a certain category of people. The typical formulation of such interlocutors is: “All this is wonderful, but it doesn’t suit me” [1, p.64].

What is the reason for such comments? Your information is unconvincing; you pay insufficient attention to the personality of your interlocutor. He does not trust your information and therefore does not value the facts provided. What to do in such a situation? You should put yourself in the shoes of your interlocutor and take into account his problems.

Objective comments. These are comments that the interlocutor makes in order to dispel his doubts. These remarks are sincere, without any subterfuge. The interlocutor wants to receive an answer in order to develop his own opinion.

The reason for such comments is that your interlocutor has a different solution to the problem and does not agree with yours. How to behave in such a situation? You should not openly contradict your interlocutor, but bring to his attention that you take his views into account, and then explain to him what advantage your solution to the problem provides.

Remarks for the purpose of resistance. These remarks tend to occur at the beginning of a conversation, so they are not and cannot be specific.

The reason for them most often is that your interlocutor not become familiar with your arguments, and the topic of the conversation is not clearly defined. What to do in such a situation? The topic of the conversation should be clearly defined, and if resistance increases, then you need to reconsider the tactics, and, as a last resort, change the topic of the conversation.

We have reviewed the most commonly used comments. Two important tactical questions naturally arise:

What is the best way to express your comments?

When to respond to comments made?

Let's start with how to make comments to your interlocutor.

Localization. The tone of the response should be calm and friendly, even if the remarks are sarcastic or ironic. An irritable tone will significantly complicate the task of persuading your interlocutor. An unconventional approach, goodwill, clear and convincing intonations are especially important when neutralizing complex comments and objections.

A clear and rude objection. You should never object openly and rudely, even if the interlocutor behaves incorrectly. If you contradict, you will only lead the conversation to a dead end. The following expressions should not be used: “In this case, you are completely wrong!”; “This has no basis!” etc. [1, p.65].

Respect. The position and opinion of the interlocutor should be treated with respect, even if they are wrong and unacceptable to you. Nothing makes a conversation more difficult than a dismissive and arrogant attitude towards the interlocutor.

Admitting that you are right. If you notice that your interlocutor’s comments and objections are only a desire to emphasize your prestige, then tactfully admit that your interlocutor is right more often. For example: “This is an interesting approach to the problem that I honestly missed. Of course, after making a decision, we will take it into account!” After the tacit consent of the interlocutor, the conversation should continue as planned.

Restraint in personal assessments. Personal assessments should be avoided, for example: “If I were in your place...”, etc. First of all, this applies to those cases when such an assessment is not required or when the interlocutor does not consider you to be his adviser or a recognized specialist.

Laconic answer. The more concisely, in a business-like manner, you respond to comments, the more convincing it will be. Lengthy answers always convey uncertainty. The more verbose the answer, the greater the danger of being misunderstood by your interlocutor.

Controlling reactions. When neutralizing your interlocutor's comments, it is very useful to check his reaction. The easiest way to do this is with intermediate questions. Calmly ask the other person if he is satisfied with the answer.

Avoiding superiority. If you successfully parry every remark of your interlocutor, he will soon get the impression that he is sitting in front of a seasoned professional with whom there is no chance of fighting. That is why you should not parry every remark of your interlocutor; you need to show that you are not alien to human weaknesses. You should especially avoid immediately responding to every remark, because by doing this you indirectly underestimate the interlocutor: what he thought about for many days, you solve in a few seconds.

Let's consider another tactful question: when should you respond to comments made?

The following options can be offered:

• before the remark is made;
• immediately after the remark has been made;
• later;
• never.

Let's consider these options in more detail.

• Before the remark is made. If you know that the interlocutor will sooner or later make a remark, then it is recommended to pay attention to it yourself and respond to it in advance, without waiting for the interlocutor’s reaction. In this case, you will have the following advantages:
• absence of contradictions with the interlocutor and thereby reducing

the degree of risk of quarreling in a conversation;

• the ability to choose the wording of your opponent’s comments and thereby reduce their semantic load;
• the ability to choose the most appropriate moment to answer and thereby provide yourself with time to think about it;
• strengthening trust between you and your interlocutor (since he will see that you are not going to fool him, but, on the contrary, clearly state all the arguments for and against).

Immediately after the remark was made. This is the most appropriate answer and should be used in all normal

situations.

Later. If there is no desire to directly contradict the interlocutor, then it is better to postpone the response to his remark until a more convenient moment from a tactical and psychological point of view. It often happens that due to a delay, the need to respond to a remark may disappear altogether: the answer will arise on its own after a certain time.

Never. Hostile remarks, as well as remarks that constitute a significant hindrance, should be completely ignored if possible. Rejecting the interlocutor's comments and objections is always fraught with various kinds of conflicts, so in these cases maximum tact and delicacy is needed. There are rules of good manners that are applied when challenging objections and help solve emerging problems with the least psychological cost.

Let's look at these rules.

The interlocutor is not always right, but often it is beneficial for us to admit that he is right, especially in small things.

Remarks and objections are natural phenomena in any conversation, so you should not feel like an accused person who must defend himself.

At the moment of making a comment, the interlocutor rarely remains calm. Waiting for your reaction, he becomes very sensitive to any sign of your distrust or inattention. In such situations, you must be in complete control of your behavior.

Remarks that are caused by an inferiority complex experienced by your interlocutor require special attention and great caution, since in cases of insulting him as a person, things can lead to a scandal.

You can put your interlocutor in a good mood by making some concessions, but you need to determine the boundaries of the concessions before you decide to make them.

Any disagreement with comments should be fully explained, as correct rebuttal of a comment can increase your chances of success.

When your interlocutor reacts emotionally, you should know that you can hardly have a business-like conversation with an excited and agitated person.

The other person should always feel that you take their comments seriously and will consider them carefully before you give a final answer.

You should help the interlocutor express his comments and objections, try to find out the reasons for his unspoken displeasure or excitement.

Bibliography

1. Borozdina G.V. Psychology of business communication: Textbook –

M.: INFRA-M, 2000 – 224 p.

1. Verderber R., Verderber K. Psychology of communication - St. Petersburg: PRIME - EUROZNAK, 2005 - 320 p.
2. Opalev A.V. The ability to deal with people... Etiquette of a business person - M.: Culture and Sports, UNITY, 1996 - 318 p.
3. Psychology. Textbook for economic universities / Ed. V.N. Druzhinina - St. Petersburg: Peter, 2000 - 672 p.
4. Social psychology: Textbook for universities / Ed. Prof. A.M. Stolyarenko – M.: UNITY-DANA, 2001 – 543 p.

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Application

Basic terms and concepts

Authority is the voluntary recognition by a part of people (a group) of the merits of one person (or another group), which leads to his increased influence on them.

Aggression is behavior characterized by the threat or use of violence and aimed at causing physical or psychological harm, damage, destruction of another person, material or spiritual value.

Conversation is verbal communication between interlocutors who have the necessary authority from their organizations and firms to establish business relationships, resolve business problems or develop a constructive approach to solving them.

The leader is the most authoritative member of the group, possessing the gift of suggestion and persuasion.

Attention is a psychological state characterized by the organization of the psychological activity of a given person in a certain period of time.

Suggestion is the “instilling” of psychological techniques by one person into another of thoughts, feelings, relationships, desires and the latter’s uncritical acceptance of them.

Business communication is a process of interconnection and interaction in which there is an exchange of activities, information and experience that involve achieving a certain result, solving a specific problem or realizing a certain goal.

Delicacy – politeness and attentiveness in communication, the ability to spare the pride of your colleagues.

Business etiquette is the result of a long selection of rules and forms of the most appropriate behavior that contributed to success in business relationships.

Discussion is a public dispute, the purpose of which is to clarify and compare different points of view, search, identify the true opinion, and find the correct solution to a controversial issue.

Contagion is the process of suggestive transfer of an emotional state from one individual to another through direct contact.

A sign is a material object (object, phenomenon, event) that acts as an indication and designation and is used to acquire, store, process and transmit information.

Image is the visual attractiveness of a person.

Insting is an innate, slightly changeable form of behavior that ensures the body’s adaptation to the typical conditions of its life.

Intelligence is the totality of a person’s mental abilities.

Compliments are words containing a slight exaggeration of the merits that the interlocutor wants to see in himself.

Conflict is an acute clash of opposing goals, interests, positions, opinions or views of opponents or subjects of interaction, characterized by strong emotional experiences and elements of aggressive behavior.

Intention is a conscious desire, a willingness to do something.

Mood is a person’s emotional state associated with weakly expressed positive or negative emotions and existing for a long time.

Communication is a complex, multifaceted process of establishing and developing contacts between people, generated by the needs of joint activities and including the exchange of information, the development of a unified interaction strategy, perception and understanding of another person.

Openness of communication is the openness of a subject position in the sense of the ability to express one’s point of view on a subject and the willingness to take into account the positions of others.

The subject of the dispute is those provisions and judgments that are subject to discussion through the exchange of different points of view, comparison of different opinions.

Posture is the position of the human body that is typical for a given culture. An elementary unit of human spatial behavior.

Prosody is the general name for such rhythmic and intonation aspects of speech as pitch, volume of voice tone, voice timbre, stress force.

Behavior is any externally observable manifestation of human activity.

A working group (team) is a social group, a community of people united by joint activities, unity of goals and interests, mutual responsibility, relationships of partnership and mutual assistance.

Leadership is a special case of management, a set of interaction processes between managers and subordinates, activities aimed at encouraging employees to achieve a set goal by influencing individual and collective consciousness.

A dispute is any clash of opinions, disagreement in points of view on any issue or subject, a struggle in which each side defends its rightness.

Sympathy is an emotional disposition, a directed attraction towards someone.

Aspiration is the desire and willingness to act in a certain way.

Cooperation is a person’s desire for coordinated, harmonious work with people. Willingness to support and assist them.

The test is a standardized psychological technique designed for comparative quantitative assessment of the psychological quality being studied in a person.

Anxiety is the ability of a person to become in a state of increased anxiety, to experience fear and anxiety.

Conviction is a person’s deeply conscious knowledge, ideas, and ideas about what is necessary, proper, necessary, internally approved by him and recognized as true, the only possible.

Respect is the voluntary recognition of an individual and his status.

Character is a set of personality properties that determine the typical ways of responding to life circumstances.

Empathy is the ability to understand the emotional state of another person in the form of empathy.

The extralinguistic system is the inclusion of pauses in speech, as well as various kinds of psychophysiological manifestations of a person: crying, coughing, laughter, sighing, etc.

Language is a system of signs that serves as a means of human communication, mental activity, and a way of expressing a person’s self-awareness.

“I” is a concept that expresses the unity and integrity of the personality from its subjective, internal side; the individual as he is known to himself, as he sees and imagines himself.

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