Some adults, for unknown reasons, are afraid to communicate with children, so they avoid them in every possible way, and having created a family, they try not to have children. This fear is difficult to understand and explain, because a small child cannot harm an adult. And sometimes the attitude towards babies changes after the arrival of a newborn in the family - parents have to give up old habits and a familiar way of life. The fact that a child constantly demands attention to himself angers adults and forms in them hostility towards children.
What is pedophobia
Fear of children is an irrational phobia. According to one version, such fear means hidden tendencies towards pedophilia (this trait is taboo in modern society). Fear of a child transforms into the fact that a person simply avoids contact with children; he cannot stay near them for a long time. Such an individual is often suspicious of those people who have normal contact with the child.
The fear has an easy explanation. If a person commits illegal actions against minors or actions that are of a sexual nature, then they are subject to prosecution by law enforcement agencies according to the law. Such an individual receives public censure, including criminal punishment.
Fear of young children may also have other origins. Some cannot perceive a child on an equal basis with themselves, as a full-fledged person. They believe that there is no point in maintaining contact with them. Today there is a movement called childfree (such people deliberately refuse the opportunity to have children, because they believe that they interfere with a full life). Followers of this trend can rightly be called paedophobes.
The phobia does not have a serious impact on the life of an adult. The only thing a person may encounter is problems in his personal life. This situation can be solved exclusively by finding a partner with similar views. Fear of children is virtually untreatable. This requires the participation of a psychotherapist with experience.
Treatment of childhood fears
The main goal of therapy is to create a favorable home environment for the child, which will embody calmness and confidence.
Emotional support from parents is very important: this way the baby will feel that he is not left alone with his problem, he has protection. The main methods for correcting children's fears are:
- psychotherapy, including individual conversations with a psychologist, during which children discuss their emotions and experiences, learn to express and overcome fear, as well as projective techniques;
- medicinal support aimed at reducing anxiety, normalizing sleep, stabilizing the baby’s emotional background;
- family psychotherapy, during which the doctor helps parents find the right approach to the child, select reasonable parenting methods and restore trusting relationships between children and adults.
It is very important that parents take children’s fears seriously and do not brush off children who complain, in the opinion of adults, about nonsense.
Infertility as a form of phobia
Some people have a fear of having their own children. The most common cause of such a phobia is a person’s past, events where he acquired his own insecurity. It happens that an individual does not feel financial support and has a low social status. Some people are simply afraid to take responsibility.
If a young couple cannot decide to have children, then in this case they cannot do without the help of a psychotherapist. This phobia is rare and does not have pronounced symptoms.
In each European country, the fear of young children manifests itself differently. Parents develop fear of their own child. Married couples are afraid to become parents again.
According to recent studies, people are more likely to restrain themselves so as not to punish or scold their children. Teenagers can react violently, this causes phobia in their parents. Therefore, many simply remain silent and refuse to have children again.
For some people, the fear of young children is associated with the fear of discovering pedophilic tendencies. This is due to the ban on relationships with people of childhood, the idea of asexuality of children.
Do these scary thoughts come true?
Common obsessive thoughts in OCD include phobias: killing or maiming, hitting someone on a vehicle, fear of harming oneself, anxiety for life, etc. People with this disease sincerely believe that their thoughts reflect their inner idea and innermost desires, and Because of this, they recognize themselves as vicious and criminal. This is wrong.
The thoughts that appear during OCD do not reflect a person’s true aspirations; they are only a manifestation of constant fear, an irrational phobia. Such fear, if it has any logical basis, is greatly exaggerated and insignificant.
The materialization of such fears is a fiction, and the disease is a reversible condition; OCD is amenable to psychological correction, that is, effective treatment.
Why does a phobia occur?
There are several versions about the origin of the phobia. The first theory suggests that fear, which cannot be explained, appears in infancy. Often, when a brother or sister appears, the child develops jealous feelings. They believe that all attention will be directed exclusively to them. The older child lacks love and care. He is increasingly being sent to visit relatives for long periods of time, being evicted from his favorite room, and his personal belongings (clothes and toys) being given to the children born in the family.
The child is filled with resentment. If parents do not notice this in time, then as an adult this emotion will develop into pedophilia.
There is also the opposite theory, according to which parents are overprotective of their child. Due to excessive love, they buy him any toys, mobile devices, the best clothes, often do their homework for them, and praise them a lot and constantly. It turns out that such a child will not want his own procreation, since he will grow up to be an egoist, and when the person becomes an adult, he will continue to expect immeasurable love from his parents.
Causes of children's fears
Fear in children is formed due to excessive impressionability, gullibility, vivid imagination, and inability to separate reality from fairy tales. In essence, it is a response to external circumstances, where the leading role is played by the upbringing and relationships of the child with family members. There are many possible causes of childhood fears, and each of them can provoke a strong emotional shock, which can result in a severe anxiety disorder.
- Experienced negative events that leave a deep emotional mark. For example, a dog bite, after which the child is very afraid of any four-legged animals, or watching a scary movie, from which the child transfers the image of villains and monsters into the real world. Such an event can be any situation where a child is faced with negativity, aggression, or a threat towards himself or his loved ones.
- Intimidation by adults: parents, grandparents, teachers, strangers or strangers. Attempts at education through threats in the style of “if you don’t eat, a wolf will come running and take you into the forest” or “if you don’t listen to me, the doctor will come and give an injection” provoke well-founded children’s fears of the specified object. As a result, the baby is terribly afraid of any picture that depicts a wolf or a large dog, and a real meeting with doctors in case of illness leads to prolonged hysteria.
- Increased anxiety among parents for the safety of the child. Constant worries from adults, pulling back, warnings about possible danger (“don’t go near the dog, it will bite”, “don’t climb up, or you’ll fall”) emotionally program the child’s mind for failure. As a result, the baby develops a feeling of anxiety, which gradually develops into an unaccountable fear of elementary actions, new places and events.
- Aggression from adults. When parents or other close relatives openly demonstrate their strength and superiority over the child on every occasion, this reduces the child’s level of trust in adults and leads to the fact that children constantly expect trouble. Such behavior also often leads to pathological lying: trying to avoid punishment and aggression, the child lies literally at every turn.
- Adult computer games, films, animated series and books that contain scenes of violence and death. When faced with evil in any of its manifestations, the child unconsciously transfers the acquired knowledge and experience to real life. As a result, the heroes “come to life”, lying in wait for the baby around the corner, in a dark room, under the bed.
In some cases, the cause of fear in children is mental disorders (neuroses, neuropathy), and then fear becomes a symptom of a specific disease that can and should be controlled.
Symptoms of a phobia
If people have a fear of small children, then they believe that such a child cannot be a full-fledged individual. Those suffering from a phobia believe that children cannot be communicated on an equal basis. Parents become overprotective when they want to demonstrate in public that everything is normal in the family.
The main symptoms of pedophobia include:
- panic attacks;
- manifestation of aggression;
- inappropriate behavior;
- depressive state.
Pedophobes make a lot of effort to hide their fears from the eyes of others. As soon as they see children, they immediately try to cross to another street, immediately leave the room, and sit in another corner of the room.
Individuals suffering from a phobia may experience frequent dizziness, weakness in the body, rapid heartbeat, and sweating. They have constant problems with sleep, when fear is activated, sweating begins, fainting occurs, and blood pressure rises sharply.
Please note that if you do not fight the fear of small children, such a phobia can cause significant harm to your health. The above symptoms affect the general physical and mental condition of a person.
Why is the problem common?
Maternal instinct has already been mentioned above. Crime reports on TV add fuel to the fire: they show stories about pedophile maniacs and people involved in kidnapping. Social networks are also not encouraging. They often post pictures and warnings about criminals operating in a particular area. Of course, all parents, having digested such information, increasingly repeat to themselves - I’m afraid for their children.
You need to understand that social networks are a powerful psychological tool. And most of the notes are made not to warn moms and dads, but to get likes and draw attention to some product or service. For example, a classic ad is placed on a warning page.
How to identify and treat pedophobia
Pedophobes are confident that the child has not reached the level where normal communication can be established with him. They show nihilism towards children. Parents show superficial affection towards their children and demonstratively take care of them.
The phobia does not have clear symptoms. As soon as a person is overcome by fear, panic attacks can immediately begin. To overcome the fear of small children, you need to use common sense.
A phobia has a physical manifestation:
- weak pulse;
- dizziness;
- dry mouth.
Such signs have a negative impact on the individual’s nervous system. It happens that a person may suddenly faint at the sight of a child. It is important to understand that there is no danger in children being near a pedophobe.
If fear is severe, a person cannot live normally. He needs to correct this pathology. To do this, experts advise contacting a psychotherapist or signing up for hypnotherapy sessions. The doctor will provide support and introduce you to similar people who have a fear of small children.
Fear for the child and intuition
It is difficult to talk about intuition from the point of view of objective science, but every mother knows from her own experience what maternal instinct is. Sometimes we, with some sixth sense, understand that the baby is in danger, and we turn out to be right
For an anxious parent, it is important to learn to feel the difference between the voice of intuition and obsessive anxious thoughts.
If you're walking down a deserted street late at night, remembering stories of being attacked by robbers and starting to feel fear, then you're screwing yourself over. If, being in a good mood and not thinking about anything bad, you suddenly feel excitement of unknown origin, you should listen to your feelings and look around.
Fear of children: how to get rid of it
First of all, when looking for a solution to a problem, you should seek help from a psychologist or psychotherapist who specializes in this topic. They will help you look at the situation from the other side, and together with the patient they will analyze the causes of the phobia.
Usually the pedophobe is put into a trance. This is one of the most effective methods. This way you can understand the patient’s internal attitudes and find out why the fear of small children appeared.
When a person is under hypnosis, it is easiest to identify the starting points to change the subconscious worldview. For example, this is how patients can get rid of psychological infertility. Psychotherapists also use neurolinguistic programming. This creates a positive vector of thoughts, which helps to quickly get rid of the phobia. Specialists correct a person’s mental processes and carry out a rehabilitation program (it is compiled strictly individually).
Obsessive-compulsive disorder: causes
Obsession (lat. obsessio - “siege”) is a thought or desire that constantly pops up in the mind. This thought is difficult to control or get rid of, and it causes a lot of stress.
- concerns about possible dangers (external, such as fear of being robbed, and internal, such as fear of losing control and harming someone close);
- excessive concern about precision, order, or symmetry;
- sexual thoughts or images.
- fear of contamination (from dirt, viruses, germs, body fluids, excrement or chemicals);
We recommend reading: Paid sick leave for civil servants after dismissal Almost everyone has experienced similar obsessive thoughts.
Independent ways of fighting
In order to overcome the fear of small children yourself, psychologists recommend using autogenic training. The individual must tune himself into the right mood, instill positive thoughts in himself. This is how the nervous system calms down.
You can also try meditation techniques. It is important to focus your thoughts on solving the problem. Visualization of interaction with children, pleasant time with them is allowed. You need to gradually tune in to the friendly wave.
The main meditation practices are:
- visualization
- affirmation
- breathing regulation
- muscle relaxation
When visualizing, thoughts are concentrated on children. By repeating the exercise, you can at least get rid of panic attacks at the sight of a child.
When affirming, you need to repeat the desired phrase many times. For example, a person every day repeats the thoughts that he is afraid of small children no longer lives in his heart, but on the contrary, he feels love for them, a feeling of kindness and affection. This is how thought forms are consolidated on a subconscious level, which has a positive effect on the human psyche.
Experts also note that if a phobia occurs, you should constantly regulate your breathing. For example, you can alternate between taking a deep breath and holding your breath. If you have pedophobia, hatha yoga may be suitable. This is the path to spiritual and physical improvement of a person. Proper breathing allows you to use the maximum number of muscles in the body, which subsequently relaxes them. Each cell of the body receives sufficient oxygen, and health improves.
Negative thoughts can keep not only the psyche in tension, but also its muscle tissue. To relax, you will need a set of exercises, massage and stretching. This way, excess tension is relieved, a person feels a surge of strength and energy, which allows him to achieve harmony on the physical and mental level.
