What is contempt: the result of a subjective assessment of the world around us or a reflection of a person’s complexes? Sarcasm, poisonous ridicule, gloating, biting comments and criticism are the main forms of contempt. Why do people behave this way? Maybe they are trying to make someone else suffer the same way they themselves suffer? Let's figure it all out.
What is neglect?
Disdain is an indifferent, arrogant and sometimes contemptuous attitude towards someone or something. It can be directed at a person or circumstance and implies that someone or something is not worthy of attention. For example, if a person behaves heroically, they say about him that he neglects danger.
Depending on the context, the word "disdain" can mean simply a lack of attention, arrogant indifference, or even a contemptuous attitude towards something or someone.
There are many words in the Russian language that imply neglect of certain circumstances. Here are some examples of such words:
- oblivion - neglect of memories (possibly important), deliberate refusal to remember something;
- carelessness - neglect of life's worries;
- flaunting - disregard for danger;
- ignoring - deliberate, sometimes demonstrative, exclusion of someone or something from the sphere of one’s attention;
- trampling - neglect of other people's rights and freedoms.
The word “neglect” is formed from three elements: the word “preserve”, the prefix “not”, which means negation, and the prefix “pre”, which strengthens this negation. The word “take care” in this case means “to take care” or “to pay attention.” That is, neglect is a complete lack of attention (a demonstrative refusal to pay attention) to something.
How does contempt manifest itself?
A contemptuous attitude is noticeable in a person’s speech, facial expressions, gestures, and actions. Here are just a few of the main markers:
- sarcasm,
- evil ridicule,
- criticism,
- insults,
- ridicule,
- grin,
- ingratiating tone of voice,
- eye rolling,
- one raised eyebrow,
- look from top to bottom,
- arms crossed skeptically on chest,
- emotionlessness in the voice,
- ignoring the opponent,
- increasing the distance,
- expression of disgust,
- looking away (“ugh, it’s disgusting to look at”),
- detachment.
Such people are unpleasant to communicate with. After dialogue with them, you get the feeling that a bucket of slop has been poured on you. Interestingly, arrogant types themselves are confident that others treat them poorly, without due attention and respect. That they are underestimated.
Examples of neglect
Almost every one of us is familiar with this phenomenon, because in our daily lives we regularly neglect certain aspects of it. Here are some of the most common examples of neglect:
- Ignoring the rules. In all areas of life, we have to follow various rules that were invented for a reason. Unfortunately, many people tend to neglect them, especially when it comes to safety regulations.
- Neglect of health. Every person knows that they need to exercise and watch their diet, and it is better to give up smoking and drinking alcohol. However, most people neglect this too.
- Ignoring obvious facts. Sometimes we simply ignore obvious risks, hoping that we will get lucky.
- Ignoring requests and advice. Not only teenagers, but also adults are characterized by non-conformist “harmfulness”, expressed in deliberately ignoring other people’s requests and advice.
- Neglect of achievements. People often downplay the significance of other people's successes or even ignore them altogether. For example, a child finished the school year “excellently” and expects his parents to praise him and encourage him in some way. But they ignore it because they think it was meant to be.
- Postponing problems for later. Many of us “cope” with the flow of problems through escapism, simply pretending that nothing is happening.
- Avoiding an answer. Sometimes people refuse to answer because they don't consider the question meaningful. For example, a child asks his father about something, but he is too lazy to explain, so he invites the child to “show independence” and look for the answer on the Internet.
Another common everyday form of neglect is negligence. This is what is called ignoring the needs and requirements of a dependent person. Although neglect does not involve intentional harm, it is called “passive violence” because the victim may suffer seriously without being able to influence the situation.
“Neglect”: the meaning of the word
The word “neglect” as a noun (or “neglect” as a verb form) expresses a whole galaxy of meanings. If we are talking about a person whom we neglect, then this means that we do not respect him, do not take care of him, and do not consider him worthy of our attention. You can also neglect something inanimate. For example, “neglect help”, “neglect someone’s attention”, “neglect an action”. The meaning here remains the same - when using this word, a person means that he can do just fine without this item. Synonyms for the word “disdain” are the words “contempt” and “arrogance”. A person who neglects ignores, does not respect, does not take into account, is disdainful, tramples on the foundations, turns a blind eye to what is happening or turns a blind eye. On the other hand, antonyms of this word are the expressions “respect someone”, “treat with respect”.
Reasons for neglect
Psychologists identify four main reasons for neglect:
- The desire to save energy and time. This is how our thinking works: if something can be neglected, there is a desire to do so, so as not to waste energy.
- Laziness. Partly laziness is a manifestation of the previous point. Yet there may be other reasons for it, such as depression, fatigue, fear of failure or lack of motivation. Therefore, it is considered as an independent factor.
- Lack of new prospects. William Shakespeare said: “Lovers vow to do the impossible, but do not even do the possible.” Indeed, all people try very hard for the sake of their loved ones at the stage of rapprochement. But when the relationship has already taken place, many neglect basic obligations, since their loved ones are already nearby.
- Resentment. Our psyche often reacts with disdain or even contempt towards those who have offended us. This is a defensive reaction - a way to forget a once close person, to make him “insignificant” in our memories.
Manifestation
Deep disgust, a desire to move away, a dissatisfied expression on the face, averting the eyes and trying to turn away - these are the true signs that a person treats someone with contempt. This feeling, by definition, is close to disgust, but may manifest itself with less intensity.
Often people show this emotion not only as a momentary impulse, but do it based on a certain strategy. For example, strong personalities can use it to confirm their own status, when trying to build a wall between themselves and a specific person: “You are not suitable for me, you are not in my circle.”
Of course, an unconscious manifestation of contempt is a negative point and indicates a person’s mental trauma, mental characteristics that negatively affect his life. The best way to get rid of this burden is to communicate with a psychologist. If you are not yet ready for a visit or think that you do not need it, I can recommend a good book “Emotional Intelligence” by Daniel Goleman, which explains in detail why it is even more important than IQ.
By the way, I have a similar article on my blog. Of course, it is difficult to compare it in terms of information content with a book, but if you are interested in learning at least general information, please do so. I will be glad to your attention. OK it's all over Now. Don't forget to also subscribe to the newsletter. See you again and peace of mind in life.
The Negative Impact of Neglect
Neglect can cause the greatest harm to interpersonal relationships, regardless of their nature. Any person wants to be treated with respect, sharing his feelings. This is true for romantic, family, friendships and any other relationships. And as soon as neglect appears in them, they begin to gradually collapse. At the same time, the one who feels rejected develops resentment, due to which he, too, can demonstrate a dismissive attitude.
In addition, neglect has a strong impact on other aspects of our lives, including mental and even physical health. A number of negative consequences can be identified here. Let's look at a few of the most obvious ones:
- Many people neglect their health. They don’t watch their diet, don’t exercise, and don’t even try to get rid of bad habits. Moreover, even when health gives the first signals of distress, most people usually ignore them, acquiring a “bouquet” of chronic diseases by the age of forty.
- Living in information noise, modern people get used to neglecting incoming information. Because of this, they are unable to make important decisions in a timely manner, gradually lose control over their lives and miss valuable opportunities.
- Many people focus on unimportant tasks, neglecting those that should be a priority. The harm of this approach is quite obvious.
- Most people tend to view safety regulations as an unnecessary formality. “I’m a specialist – I can do it!” they think and climb without gloves into high voltage or dangerous chemicals. However, we should not forget that most work-related injuries occur precisely as a result of non-compliance with safety regulations.
- Neglecting other people's advice and recommendations leads to the fact that people have to repeat other people's mistakes and learn from them, although they could have been avoided.
- Not all people pay enough attention to remembering the name of a new acquaintance and some important facts about him. This subsequently leads to awkward situations.
- Parents are often unaware of the problems their children face because they think that they only need to make sure that they are well-fed and do not go outside without a hat. However, the child’s problems will not disappear on their own.
- Discord in marital relationships most often begins precisely when someone “relaxes” and begins to neglect the desires and needs of their partner.
The use of words in modern creativity
A few years ago, the word “neglect” was returned to the lexicon of young people by singer RuKola (the girl’s real name is Manizha) with her song “I Neglect.” This composition appeared in 2007 and became a real hit on domestic radio stations and music channels. This song made the singer famous, and later a video was shot for it by the famous showman and KVN player Semyon Slepakov. The lyrics of the song talk about a relationship in which the girl, for her own personal reasons, does not treat her lover very well. According to the meaning of the song, to neglect is to treat a person without due attention.
How to get rid of the tendency to neglect?
Obviously, neglect only brings harm. It ruins relationships, destroys families, reduces quality of life, and even prevents people from achieving success. Therefore, every person interested in self-development should make efforts to get rid of the tendency to neglect. Here are some tips to help with this:
- Learn to appreciate the everyday little things in life. We have a lot of small things to do that we often don’t pay attention to. But it’s not at all difficult to pay a little more attention to a morning conversation with your wife, family breakfast, the aroma of coffee, the weather outside, a conversation with your child about school and many other “small” everyday matters. If you learn to appreciate every moment, life will become much richer, and the tendency to neglect will automatically weaken.
- Listen to advice. We are designed in such a way that we strive to be independent. And even when we are given good advice, we often ignore it because we are too focused on finding a solution on our own. Meanwhile, someone else's advice may well be based on real life experience and be very valuable.
- Look for meaning in every event. We ignore much of what happens to us and do not derive practical benefit from it. But even an unpleasant event can be viewed as a valuable experience. This is exactly the approach that optimists use so as not to get upset again if something goes wrong.
- Pay attention to your loved ones. You don’t need to think that if your “other half” is already with you, then she no longer wants to hear pleasant words and enjoy pleasant actions on your part. The same applies to other dear people.
It’s easy to see that these tips boil down to consciously paying more attention to your loved ones and, in general, to all the people with whom you communicate, as well as to all the events happening in your life. It’s also useful to know that attention to detail is characteristic of young people, but dissipates with age. So consciously increasing your mindfulness is a great way to stay young at heart.
Where does contempt come from?
Initially, the emotion of contempt was an archaic defense against anxiety, a mask for the fear generated by the difference of other people. For example, before a fight, a man inspired himself “I am better than the enemy,” and during the battle he showed more courage. Thus, contempt was intended (perhaps) as a motivating emotion that was supposed to give more self-confidence.
Like most evaluative emotions, contempt is learned between the ages of 4 and 7 years. The learned emotion is used in status games to elevate oneself and humiliate others. Later, a contemptuous attitude towards everything and everyone becomes a characteristic feature of teenage or youthful negativism. It often persists into adulthood and is considered a faithful companion to narcissism, psychopathy, and hysteria.
In general, a contemptuous attitude arises wherever there is opposition or inequality: the smart despise the stupid, the city - the village, their own - strangers. And all because the despiser receives certain benefits for himself:
- Superiority. The winner can treat the loser with contempt, thereby enhancing his merits.
- Awareness of your worth. Contempt enhances the pride of a person who follows his own and public life guidelines.
- Disguise. A contemptuous grimace well masks one’s own inferiority, uncertainty or some kind of shortcoming.
It is unpleasant to communicate with a contemptuous person; friends, colleagues, partners and just acquaintances avoid him. But contempt is dangerous not only because of the lack of communication.
Why is negligence dangerous?
Systematic neglect destroys the identity of the victim. Her wishes and needs are constantly ignored, and gradually she begins to consider herself a burden and her life meaningless. As a result, self-esteem rapidly drops, anxiety increases, and depression, addictions, and other mental disorders may develop.
Negligence also has more serious consequences. For example, denial of care and purchase of medicines in the case of a sick person can even lead to death.
What are the consequences of neglect?
Many people come to the understanding very late that they live under the same roof with a passive aggressor. It all starts with minor friction; reluctance to provide help is attributed to stubbornness, complex character, or fatigue. The worst thing is when the injured party becomes completely dependent on the offender. In such cases, the neglector feels like a ruler, having complete control over finances, supplies of food, and clothing. He distributes “benefits” and helps in satisfying human needs at his own discretion, often “forgetting” about his duties, which often leads to fatal consequences for the victim.
