How to find what you really want to do

The article explains:

4 reasons for the lack of true desires
7 effective ways to find yourself and understand what you want from life
TOP 10 books for understanding your desires in life

Everyone’s life goes on as usual, but you once again ask yourself the fatal question: how to understand what you want from life? Perhaps you have read a bunch of books on this topic, but have not found satisfactory answers? Well, you are not alone in your painful soul searching. Believe me, today a lot of people are concerned about deciding on their purpose, business and the meaning of their whole life.

And to help you in this difficult process, we have prepared this article. It, without any fluff or complicated terms, highlights the main psychological reasons for the lack of understanding of where and why to move further on your path, and also provides a list of effective ways to finally understand what you want more than anything in the world. This material deserves your attention, because after it you will be able to change a lot by letting go of your apathy, inaction, disappointment with yourself and the world.

Identify what's bothering you

You can make a healthy decision about what you want to do only when there is nothing holding you back. If you are upset or your head is full of things to do, then you will never be able to make a decision. Figure out what exactly is annoying you at the moment. “Working in an office makes me angry” is not the answer. What specific aspect of the job is causing you anxiety? Is your boss annoying? Schedule? Unhappy with your position?

Think about how to fix this. Perhaps there are no serious problems in the current situation and changing just a couple of aspects will make you a happy person.

Maximum development!

Unfortunately, many people not only cannot understand what to do in life and how to find themselves, they even find it difficult to make the notorious lists. In this case, they have no other choice: they will have to develop.

Nothing leads to a dead end more than a closed space, lack of dynamics in life, the same social circle, and routine.

The best way to avoid this is to travel. As often as possible and over maximum distances. Not to the next city, but to the other side of the world. Each trip provides a guaranteed burst of energy. A person sees how and what people live, what they do, what hobbies they enjoy, etc.

What will this give? Food for thought, emotions and, most importantly, boundless inspiration. And it, as you know, is characterized by the highest productivity, unprecedented concentration of forces and enormous spiritual uplift. In such a state a person is capable of much.

Most people understand what is best to do in life when they are in such euphoria. And they begin to act. Inspiration frees you from unnecessary thoughts and pushes you to take concrete steps. There is no need to be afraid of traveling and look for excuses from doing it - perhaps your next trip will be a turning point in your life.

Be positive

Life doesn't always go according to the script we write. But there is no need to fall into apathy if something doesn’t work out. Instead of grieving and doing nothing, continue what you started with a vengeance. Sooner or later success will come. Don't give up, but think about the good and do what you've dreamed of all your life.

Just don’t think that finding your purpose is easy. Many people search for it all their lives. The main thing is not to stop and keep looking. One day this will definitely happen. Until then, try different professions and activities. After all, without trying, you will never know whether it is for you or not.

Recalling childhood memories and favorite games

As a rule, favorite games or activities from childhood are those in which the child is most successful or gets the most pleasure.
Sometimes it’s enough to dive into childhood memories to understand where your zone of maximum satisfaction is. What kind of activity have you always strived for, perhaps in spite of prohibitions, lessons imposed on circles by your parents? Did you want to sit at home embroidering and drawing? Or gather all the children from neighboring buildings and play school with them? Or were you ready to spend hours twirling in front of the mirror, wearing all possible and available mother’s jewelry? Or maybe the ball and everything related to sports was the basis of your motivation to complete all your household chores as quickly as possible?

Again, you can remember whether you liked to read books in solitude or were the organizer of all the games in the yard? Some people, from childhood, have been indifferent to trade and money relations - such children either enthusiastically play “shop” and learn to count with “real money”, or try to exchange things with classmates, or start a new piggy bank, or recklessly play Monopoly, or find another one. idea for the next collection. And there are children who are ready to repair, build, embroider and knit from morning to evening.

Remember what you loved to do - this may be the key to understanding what you need to do in order to most successfully realize your personality.

A wish list

For this technique you will need a piece of paper with a pen, free time and complete privacy. Set a stopwatch for 15 minutes and write down all the wishes that come to your mind. There can be any number of them, both small and large. A clear formulation of your goals is important here. They must be clearly stated. If you want a house, indicate not only its size, but also its location and interior. Do you want to change your job? Describe what you want to do and indicate your desired salary. Often we cannot distinguish our desires from those imposed by the environment. This exercise will help in this matter, since it can be difficult to understand whether I really want this. It is very important to describe every detail in great detail.

Once you have finished working on the list, attach it in a visible place. If any wishes are fulfilled, they should be crossed off from the list. This exercise will help you understand what you want. This list can be updated or you can simply enter your new goals.

Test: how to understand who you want to work with

There are many ways to determine career guidance for those who find it difficult to decide on a profession. This question is especially relevant for graduates of educational institutions who are about to embark on an independent life journey. By answering a number of questions, you can, to some extent, coordinate your actions and learn interesting facts about yourself, which can certainly help in choosing the required specialty.

So, let's start the test. Next to each answer there is a number that must be written down separately on a sheet of paper. Then you need to sum all the numbers and find your result at the end of the test.

Controlling the people around you is an incredibly boring task:

yes - 0
don't know - 1
no - 2

I am closer to working with finance than working in the arts:

yes - 2
don't know - 1
no - 0

I usually don’t calculate the time it takes to get to my destination:

yes - 0
don't know - 1
no - 2

Prone to risky ventures:

yes - 0
don't know - 1
no - 2

I don't like clutter in the room:

yes - 2
don't know - 1
no - 0

I like to spend my free time reading books:

yes - 2
don't know - 1
no - 0

I prefer disorganization and lack of order in notes:

yes - 0
don't know - 1
no - 2

I tend to save money:

yes - 2
don't know - 1
no - 0

My workplace is more often a creative mess than perfect cleanliness:

yes - 0
don't know - 1
no - 2

I like to carry out clearly defined tasks:

yes - 2
don't know - 1
no - 0

My things are neatly arranged in drawers and boxes:

yes - 2
don't know - 1
no - 0

Thoughts about cleaning make me sad and irritated:

yes - 0
don't know - 1
no - 2

I like to work on the computer, processing information:

yes - 2
don't know - 1
no - 0

I carefully think through every step before making decisions:

yes - 2
don't know - 1
no - 0

I like to work with information using graphics and tables:

yes - 2
don't know - 1
no - 0

I prefer games in which you need to calculate every step and not make risky moves:

yes - 2
don't know - 1
no - 0

When learning a foreign language, I focus on studying grammar, and only then improve my speaking:

yes - 2
don't know - 1
no - 0

I try to carefully study the problem that has arisen through reading and consultations with professionals:

yes - 2
don't know - 1
no - 0

When writing text it matters to me:

sequence -2
don't know - 1
artistry - 0

To organize my thoughts and responsibilities, I keep a diary:

yes - 2
don't know - 1
no - 0

Always up to date with political news and the economic situation in the country:

yes - 2
don't know - 1
no - 0

In my work it is important for me:

new, bright sensations – 0
don't know - 1
feeling of satisfaction and peace - 2

It’s common for me to put things off until later and do everything at the last moment:

yes - 0
don't know - 1
no - 2

I immediately return the book I read to its place:

yes - 2
don't know - 1
no - 0

Every evening I plan things for the next day:

yes - 2
don't know - 1
no - 0

26. Before making any decision, I weigh the pros and cons:

yes - 2
don't know - 1
no - 0

When dealing with responsible and extensive work, I tend to plan every step:

yes - 2
don't know - 1
no - 0

After guests arrive, I put off cleaning and washing dishes until tomorrow:

yes - 0
don't know - 1
no - 2

I have a careful attitude towards health and lifestyle:

yes - 2
don't know - 1
no - 0

At the slightest failure, I proceed as follows:

thinking about it and looking for a solution - 2
don't know - 1
I get nervous and lose control – 0.

Now we count the points indicated next to each answer and find the result.

49-60 points

Your motto is excellence in everything. You are characterized by attentiveness and hard work, which are in great demand in such areas as accounting, programming, economics and other areas where a balanced and diligent approach to business is required. People who score the highest level of points know how to organize work and can become excellent leaders.

37–48 points
You are a collected and punctual person who values accuracy in everything. Such people are successful in law, statistics, and the computer field. Work with settlement documents is suitable for you - financier, economist, as well as text editing - journalist, proofreader, editor.

26-36 points

You are a great original, everything new is not alien to you. Logical thinking is developed. Keep a close eye on what's new in the business world. Big business is no stranger to you.

13-25 points

This category of people is distinguished by extraordinary thinking, impulsiveness and creative abilities. Working with documents will probably make you bored, and you will hardly be able to sit in one place. If you fall into this category, you should think about the field of design, journalism, and marketing.

0-12 points
The uniqueness of this group of people lies in their unusual approach to solving problems - they perform actions guided only by their own desires. They do not like obligations and time frames, which often limit their creative endeavors. Provided they develop consistency and perseverance, they can find themselves in such areas as photography, painting, acting and design.

Let go of your imagination

Probably, each of us at least once throughout our lives has had thoughts of this kind: “I just want to understand why everything is not the way I want it to be.” But, as a rule, not many people will be able to voice their wish list without thinking. This exercise will help you plunge into your subconscious and understand what you really want.

To do this, you will need to ask yourself questions in writing and then answer them honestly. Questions may include: what do you want to own (real estate, clothing, vehicle, jewelry, etc.)? What is your relationship with your relatives and loved ones? Are there people you envy? If so, why? By asking yourself questions like these, you stimulate yourself to think further about life.

Introspection

To capture feelings of happiness and clearly know your goals, first understand yourself and understand what you want. Self-analysis will help you delve into different corners of your soul and find out your true desires. All you need is a piece of paper, a pen and silence. Knowing yourself requires concentration, so it is important that there are no distractions.

This method is great for helping you organize your thoughts. A great way to visualize your desires is to use a mental map, which involves transferring your thoughts onto paper. Anton Pavlovich Chekhov said a very important thought: “If you want to understand life, observe and feel, stop believing what they say and write.”

Wish card

Imagine your dreams as often as possible, create in yourself the feeling that you already own what you want. When a person knows what he really wants, positive impulses emanate from him and thus he attracts what he wants into his life. The essence of the exercise is to create certain bright pictures that will constantly serve as a reminder of your dreams. It is worth considering that your goal must be truly desirable. Only in this case will the energy message be sufficient to bring it to life. You will find a more detailed description of this exercise in the video.

Communication

It is advisable to communicate with successful people. Why? Because a loser and a successful person have qualitative differences in their way of thinking. And that's it. When communicating with a loser, a person will plunge into pessimism and complaints about a bad life. Where does the desire to change something in your life for the better come from?

But a successful person, being a motivated, strong, purposeful person, radiates special energy and positivity. And he doesn’t complain, because it’s a pointless thing that doesn’t bring the slightest benefit.

A few minutes of communication with such a person is enough to recharge with optimism and the desire to act. In addition, you can learn from a successful person effective ways to interact with the world. And being next to him, you yourself want to develop.

Remember the people you admire

Probably, all people have a person who inspires respect and admiration. It’s not that they want to be like him, but they are looking for those qualities that make him successful and worthy of honor.

So, the next task is to remember about whom you at least once said that he could be an example for you, try to figure out why. List interesting personality traits and actions worthy of respect. Think about whether you can adopt something for yourself, learn something.

Among these people there may be famous personalities - scientists, artists, journalists, or just your friends.

Desires need clear formulation

Formulating your desire directly affects what you get in the end. Therefore, when compiling a list, adhere to the following rules:

formulate your desire as if it has already been fulfilled;
You shouldn’t tie your dream to specific dates;
do not use the particle “not” when formulating a goal;
It’s worth taking the time to carefully draw up desires that will be supported by feelings;
it should not cause harm to you or others;
When formulating a goal, try not to include specific individuals.

Working with the subconscious

To distinguish your own dream from the one imposed by society, you just need to be alone with yourself. This method helps you concentrate directly on your true desires.

So, if you want to understand life, then stop being lazy and stopping halfway. Therefore, we suggest that you begin the exercise immediately. To do this, you should relax, you can turn on calm music. Next, you need to close your eyes and imagine your desired future in each area of life in the form of pictures.

Imagine what kind of house, car or maybe yacht you want? Think about what you want to do, how you want to look, where you would like to go. Don't be afraid to dream, give free rein to your imagination. Analyze every area of your life: home, family, interior, real estate, transport, personal achievements, position in society.

What is human intuition, or how to learn to listen to yourself

The uniqueness of our brain lies not only in its limitless intellectual abilities, but also in the ability to send certain signals at the level of premonitions. This incredible ability of the subconscious, which every person possesses, is called intuition. It, like our other skills, can be improved with the help of special exercises and techniques.

The main feature of the manifestation of intuition is internal sensations that prompt the right decision. Due to the inability to listen to the inner voice, a person often misses the opportunity to make the right decision for him, which can radically change his life.

In order to learn to trust your own intuition and develop it sufficiently, it is worth practicing by doing some exercises.

To begin to feel the inner voice, you need to reduce the influence of consciousness on it. For this purpose, sports are the best choice, as a result of which physical activity increases and mental activity decreases. The person becomes calmer and more balanced, which improves the conditions for the development of this brain ability.
By giving your intuition freedom, you allow it to act without the control of your mind. This means it can be developed anywhere and at any time of the day. For example, predict who a message came from or an incoming call without looking at the gadget screen. Or listen carefully to yourself and guess what the friend you are going to meet is wearing.
An equally interesting way to improve your abilities is to observe the signs that surround us everywhere. It is very important to put aside logical thinking and take advantage of the unconscious gift of our brain. For example, the answer to a correctly asked question can be found in a book open on any page. It is also worth paying attention to the various signs that fate gives us, thereby preventing us from a bad turn of events. This could be phrases heard unintentionally, information on signs, spilled coffee, and even dreams, which can both contribute to decision-making and warn against what is planned.

“Know yourself, and you will know the whole world,” said the great Socrates, and he was absolutely right. This means that all the necessary resources for a full existence and development of individual abilities are within us. Ephemeral happiness in the form of material wealth is unlikely to ever bring moral satisfaction. But studying one’s own “I” and developing innate talents will certainly bring harmony and understanding of one’s own purpose into everyone’s life.

Remember your achievements

Look at your life in perspective; there must have been moments in it that you are proud of. It doesn’t matter how significant the event that occurred thanks to your efforts was. Brightness and significance are measured in comparison with other people, and comparing yourself with someone is not a good service for your well-being.

To make it easier for you to navigate, here is a list of possible achievements:

You graduated from school with a medal;
Made a report at a conference;
I worked with the child, as a result, thanks to his knowledge, he was able to enter a prestigious gymnasium or pass exams well;
Your dog won the competition;
You created a group on a social network that has gained several thousand followers.

The list can be huge. The main thing is that any achievement can show what you are good at. You may be educated as a programmer or accountant, but if you are good at teaching children, you might want to look into the field of education.

"Unpack" the dream

It is important to determine what is hidden behind your desire - what is the true need or value. This is determined by the method of sequential questions. For example, when we crave something sweet, we are likely experiencing a need to relax or please ourselves. And there are many ways how this can be done. When we “dream” about a wedding, perhaps we are simply trying to gain our mother’s approval, we need her acceptance and love.

Or – a common situation – a girl dreams of an iPhone (an expensive car/cool Instagram with beautiful photos), she doesn’t have enough money for it, but she still continues to desire it. Let's unpack her dream. What could this girl really want? Most likely, she imagines herself walking down the street with this phone and other people paying attention to her, how she “casually” shows it to her colleagues, attracts the attention of friends, and everyone thinks about how “cool” she is. What is her true desire? Attention. And you can get it in much “cheaper” ways. For example, choosing to communicate with people who are interested in you as a person. But for this you need to open up and show yourself as you are, with all your pros/cons and unique features. And this, of course, is dangerous because it puts our integrity at risk. Being a person, an individual, is more difficult than being a person who has a phone. But it's worth it.

Ask your mentor for advice.

Finding a mentor for yourself (a person who has successful experience in a similar situation) is a good solution for those who are stuck at a crossroads in life with the rhetorical question: “What do I want, in the end?” It can be any congenial celebrity or admirable acquaintance. Advice, guidance, and support from such people help to cope with the surging confusion.

Mentoring or therapeutic assistance is also provided by good films and meaningful books, the characters of which become role models and mental mentors.

A look into the future.

Many young people are accustomed to living today, forgetting to ask themselves: “What do I want to achieve in life?” But in vain. After all, it is this dialogue that determines the course of movement, lifestyle, level of work on oneself and much more. To understand which direction to head, it’s enough to draw (it doesn’t matter verbally or in writing) yourself in 10, 20 and 30 years.

If your imagination has created, for example, a positive image of a successful doctor driving his own car, then most likely you should try to get a quality education and good practice. But if the doctor’s silhouette seems unhappy, irritated or tired, then perhaps the path was chosen incorrectly?

A person from the future simply must be smiling and happy, otherwise everything makes no sense.

Take a psychological age test

Reading

How to determine what to do in life if there are no thoughts in your head at all? We must “absorb” literature.

Do I need to explain the benefits of reading? Unfortunately, nowadays, yes. Here's what reading books does:

Increased creativity.
Expanding your horizons.
Improving fantasy and imagination.
Erudition, and hence - self-confidence.
Increasing literacy, expanding vocabulary.
Improved attention.
Development of thinking and memory.
Improving communication and empathy skills.

A reading person has his own worldview, a deep view of the world, high values, principles and beliefs. Plus, some books are powerful motivators! Many people were inspired to self-realization by literature.