- 3917
- 09-01-2017
- Author: Mysekret Team
- 1
The process of acquiring new knowledge requires enormous effort, patience and perseverance from a person. It is especially difficult for children who are not always able to tune in to their studies.
This problem is familiar to many parents who are interested in one question - how to help their child want to study at school, and how to make him work at home, getting rid of laziness? The advice of a psychologist will help with this.
"Know the enemy by sight"
Laziness, apathy, self-doubt, fear of change or communication - all these are components of that part of a person’s personality that is responsible for the individual’s comfortable state and dictates his immersion in the sphere of pleasure. By manifesting itself excessively, so much so that it becomes a kind of obstacle to leading a full life, the value hidden in the comfort zone seems to serve as an indicator of what a person considers himself to need most: sleep, food, peace of mind.
How to overcome yourself? The “enemy” part of the personality itself does not have a specific image until constant indulgence in its demands creates a problem that already significantly spoils the person’s life as a whole. This could be obesity, job loss due to incompetence, loneliness, early aging. Having realized the problem as his specific enemy, against which it seems possible to fight, a person begins to build algorithms for self-infringement, which is obviously doomed to failure, because the infringed part of the personality will resist with all the resources it has.
Not a single bad habit “gives up without a fight,” and changing your attitude towards an action that gives maximum pleasure to a polar one is akin to declaring war on yourself. Ineffective and fraught with breakdowns. So how can you overcome your reluctance to change and is there any point in this struggle?
What is laziness and why do you eat it?
To figure out how to deal with laziness, you first need to understand what it is. As they say, you need to know the enemy by sight. Laziness most often means a lack of hard work and self-discipline. However, such a definition does not reveal to us the reasons for its appearance.
The famous Russian psychologist Vladimir Levi devoted an entire book to laziness. In it he identifies several of its most common types. Let's look at them to dig deeper and see where your problem stems from.
- Hedonic laziness is the companion of people spoiled by comfort. It arises from the habit of living for pleasure on everything that is ready-made. This type of laziness very often affects children of rich parents, who are accustomed to getting everything from life without making any effort. The most striking example is the hero of Ivan Goncharov’s novel Oblomov.
- Negativist laziness arises from an unwillingness to submit to someone else's will and recognize hierarchy. All teenagers are familiar with it. It seems like you yourself knew that it was time to clean your room, and you were even about to start, but then your mother came and formulated it in the form of an order. All the zeal immediately disappeared somewhere.
- Demotivational laziness is laziness due to lack of motivation. A person does not understand why he should do something if he doesn’t have to do it. Its root cause is the crisis of the meaning of life, the internal impassability of the individual. If internal or external guidelines are not found in time, laziness can become chronic.
- Asthenic laziness is a consequence of decreased body tone. The person seems to be constantly in a semi-relaxed state and cannot collect himself. The reasons may be trivial - lack of physical activity and vitamin deficiency. In addition, decreased tone occurs in certain physiological conditions, such as pregnancy.
Is fighting possible?
Having come to the conclusion that this or that trait of his own personality, despite its stable position in the comfort zone, has begun to noticeably interfere with the dynamics of his growth and development, the individual at a conscious level decides to get rid of it. But he loses sight of the fact that he will not have to fight at the level of the visible and well-controlled process that participated in the formation of the goal and constitutes the sequence of actions.
When, after making a conscious decision, the mechanics of the performing process are turned on, deep mental functionality comes into play, which can be characterized as protective. And it is impossible for this functional to prove the rationality of the new solution, it is impossible to give arguments in its favor, since it has its own arguments, which have the goal of resisting the deformation of its existing base at all costs. This is the unconscious structure of the human psyche, its “alter ego” and the real, hidden truth.
If we compare the magnitude of all conscious processes in a person’s head with the unconscious ones, then it is better to imagine a huge wheat field, stretching out as far as the eye can see. When one person decides to embrace with his hands a sheaf of wheat growing somewhere in the middle of this field, then the grasping possibility of his hands will become that magnitude of the conscious, on all sides, like innumerable hectares, surrounded by the aggregate connections of the unconscious. Consequently, in order to overcome oneself even in small things, one will have to deal with a force, to force anything upon it is simply unreasonable and useless.
Eliminating misconceptions
But there are cases when it worked out, and someone, abandoning their laziness, received additional education, began to travel, or, overcoming indecision, met the girl of their dreams. Does this mean that there are exceptions and that the realm of the unconscious is not so comprehensive? No, that doesn't mean it. The fact is that for these people the goal was not how to overcome themselves - they wanted to do what they did, and that’s how it all worked out.
The peculiarities of our psyche are such that a person really wants to convince himself that he is capable of resistance, and the more desirable the goal, the deeper the conviction that it must be achieved, going through unimaginable suffering. Well, how can you overcome yourself if they start whispering behind your back and twirling their finger at your temple? So the man invents to himself what difficulties he had to face before the girl turned her attention to him, while the very process of achieving this goal was full of subtle and sensual pleasure for him.
From all that has been said, we can formulate the first rule for the guide “how to overcome yourself” - this is to give up the fight and hear within yourself the “want” to do it. Or not to hear and then look for other ways to realize what is required.
METHODS OF FIGHTING YOURSELF
First of all, this whole situation needs to be realized and described in relation to oneself. Identify the fronts on which you will fight. Well, then, - “Get involved in a fight...”
