When a person is unlucky in life, he begins to look not only for internal reasons for a given set of circumstances and external prerequisites, but also for ways out. Then, depending on the severity and frequency of repetition of situations, one turns to either logical analysis or even the use of magical rituals. Everyone puts their own meaning into the concept of bad luck. One may be annoyed by minor delays due to traffic jams, another may have been unlucky in his personal life for the tenth year.
Explanations for bad luck can come down to different theories, with quite a few people inclined to believe that everything is limited to chance. Both on the psychological and physical level, people themselves provoke coincidences, do not notice details or neglect warning signs. Next, we will look at why we are unlucky in life and how to deal with it; we will consider not only the main psychological reasons and the very impact of a person on the level of luck, but also practical ways to resist an unfavorable combination of circumstances.
Reasons for bad luck in life
There are reasons why you are unlucky in everything in life and they should be separated from those moments when regular failures occur only in one area of life. The root cause, identified by many psychologists, is a person’s own negative thinking. This category operates in such a way that the direction of our thoughts directs our energy. The bottom line is that the more focused one is on failure or negative aspects, the less one is able to notice opportunities or positive turns.
The habit of contacting people at the level of confrontation instead of searching for compromise solutions or general dialogue increases the number of troubles. The person himself may not consciously do this or not notice the consequences, but disrupted social connections and interaction options lead to the fact that people stop contributing to your advancement in an active form or by ignoring needs. Living in a social world, it is important to be able to build constructive connections, then an acquaintance will help with the move, a colleague will cover you at work, and a business partner passing by will stop for a ride to work - all this ultimately adds up to a successful set of circumstances, although there are only consequences of previously committed actions.
Smooth interaction with the social environment concerns not only human communication, but also the design of all activities. When a person continues to stubbornly achieve his goals in the chosen path, does not react to refusals and believes that he can overcome circumstances by force, he thereby provokes the development of additional failures. Here it would be optimal to choose other strategies, see a fair wind and not knock on closed doors in order to save your energy and avoid traumatic experiences.
In fact, many people say that they are unlucky at work when they themselves have chosen a direction that is contrary to their soul and continue to put in more effort than the position requires. Here we cannot say that the place or activity is to blame, or the universe is against it, but simply that a person chooses a direction where there cannot be success in advance.
Based on the theory of the development of the universe and the need to realize the inherent qualities of every living being, misfortunes begin to happen to a person when he stops honing his skills or when he refuses to follow his destiny. Some justify this from the point of view of energy or spiritual practices, others from religious precepts, but even from a scientific psychological point of view it has grounds. When a person is constantly developing, he learns to interact more effectively with the world, which means he is more successful, and when he develops his internal qualities inherent in nature, he moves in the optimal direction and easily. In any case, a bird trying to fly will be more successful in this matter than a frog.
Problems in the area of self-esteem provoke an incorrect distribution of responsibility and locus of requirements. So, when a person has not built his own identity, is afraid of punishment, believes that he is unworthy of praise, then he cannot accept not only good words, but also criticism. This type of personality contributes to shifting both one’s own successes and failures onto others, and so instead of analyzing one’s misdeeds and shortcomings, a person habitually blames the universe or talks about his own bad luck. The variety of simultaneous goals also adds to bad luck - the more tasks, the more attention is required. Not everyone can live effectively in multitasking conditions; for most people, this is a huge stress, leading to the fact that none of the directions will be implemented. This is not bad luck, this is a lack of competent time management and gradation of goals.
Requests for help Write your story Hello. I want to disappear, I just want to cease to exist. I don’t like my life, it didn’t turn out the way I wanted, or rather, it didn’t work out at all. I cry and pray to God to take her from me. I don’t know how or why, but for some time my life has been falling apart. After school, I went to college, completed 3 courses and dropped out. I chose my specialty completely unconsciously, not because I wanted to work in it. The work book is simply terrible; when you come to get a job, they tell you to your face that no normal employer will hire you. Because I sat at home for several years, and where I worked, it was not for long, no more than a year, in one place for a week. Now I regret it, but you can’t rewrite the book. I applied to study twice, at 23 and at 26 for full-time college, but both times I took away the documents because I was ashamed to study full-time, especially in college. I liked both specialties, but now the train has already left. I’ve been in a relationship with a man I don’t love for 8 years now, and I can’t get out of it, it’s difficult because I’m used to it, when I want to break up I start crying, but I can’t get married either. I also have social phobia, I am very quiet and silent. When communicating with people, even with relatives, symptoms appear: I sweat and have tachycardia, I get nervous, even when I talk to my mother. I suffer from tension headaches if I communicate a lot or am in a crowd of people, for example, in a clinic. Then only pills help. If my head hurts, I become irritable and can’t concentrate on anything. There is some kind of fear in front of people, I’m afraid to look into the eyes, I look, but at the same time I clamp down and sweat. Comfortable only when alone. Now I’m going to go to a dirty production facility with night shifts, because I don’t know where anymore, but they’re calling me there. And this makes me sad, because life didn’t work out. I don’t understand what went wrong, until the 9th grade I was a good girl, I graduated without C grades, studying was always hard, but I sat for 7 hours a day and studied homework, and then everything went downhill, I became interested in heavy music, I started drink, but only so that there would be no panic attacks, even at graduation and the last bell I got drunk so that my legs would not shake. I’m ashamed when they ask how I’m doing, I have nothing to answer, I closed myself off from everyone. God doesn’t help me, after confession it doesn’t make me feel better, it’s only harder, it’s like he doesn’t hear me, or he’s not there at all, I don’t feel him at all.
Sadness, age: 26 / 09/02/2016
Responses:
Hello, honey. Regarding studies, when I studied in the evening department, there were 2 people who were over 40 years old studying with us on the course, and this aroused only respect, and there were plenty of those who were about 30. Since some receive two to three educations, we are ready for this to study even after 40 years, some give birth to children when they are young, others have to work from a young age, everyone has different circumstances, that’s why everyone studies when they want and when they can. And at 26, you don’t have to worry about this, you just have a desire to learn. As for the work book, by the age of 34, half of the book has been filled out and the maximum period in it is 1.5 years. Since I tried different jobs and had a job where, according to the certificate of a private entrepreneur, I worked (and this is not indicated in the employment contract), in another job under a contract (also not indicated in the employment contract), of course I have documents confirming these works, as well There was a period when I worked for a relative without registration, which is why it is also not indicated in the labor report. In the end, you can simply say that your man didn’t want you to work and that’s why for some period you did housework and helped with his work. Many women live like this, and even now is a time when everyone decides for themselves when and how much to work. Therefore, this issue is not worth any special worries. Regarding your fear of people, tachycardia, sweating, although it may seem strange to you now, I advise you to start doing exercises aimed at stretching (relaxing) your muscles. This way you will relax your muscle tone, which is increased due to stress, and you will see for yourself how, over time, tachycardia and sweating will go away or at least decrease, and you will cry less and communicate with people will be much easier. I experienced the effect of this myself when, after many years of stress, my physical condition became terrible, with the same tachycardia, sweating and other symptoms of prolonged stress, and such relaxation exercises helped me a lot. To begin with, you can just do regular light exercises in the morning. Nutrition also greatly affects both your emotional and physical state, so I recommend eating wholesome and healthy foods. Walk outdoors more often and try to get enough sleep. In a word, lead a healthy lifestyle, you will see how your condition will change over time, and then your life will automatically change. Also, find a hobby you like and try to look positively at the future, because life can improve every day if you do something for it, the main thing is to act and everything will work out for you. You are only 26 years old, we can say that you are just beginning your adult life, and you will have many interesting and good events ahead if you make a little effort. All the best to you!
Olga, age: 34 / 09/02/2016
Hello. How can I understand you? But you know, the main thing is that there is a way out. Even if it is a “dirty production”. This is really a way out. They didn’t invite me anywhere at all, and where I went there were only refusals. And in a large city. I also went through panic attacks, I understand what it’s like. I found a job as a cleaner. At my age. But I tell myself that this is not forever, that's all. There is always the opportunity to rebuild your life, for example, to go to college by correspondence. There is nothing shameful in this; some people study even after 30. Life doesn't end there. Or maybe other opportunities will appear later. The main thing is not to stop trying, even if it’s hard. I am sure that if you survive this, your life will change. After all, it's like a test. I wish you success.
Marina, age: 23 / 09/02/2016
Hello! It's never too late to learn, so your complexes are unnecessary. The main thing is to finally understand what profession you still like, and study calmly. It’s better, of course, to work in absentia. Modesty and shyness are not bad qualities, but they should not interfere with your life. As for the relationship with the unloved, it’s time to make a decision, because time passes, youth passes, you probably need to allow both the guy and yourself to arrange your personal life. More determination, honey! And everything will be fine with you.
Irina, age: 28 / 09/02/2016
Sad thing, what’s shameful about studying full-time at 26 years old?
People at 30 and 35 study full-time at colleges and institutes, and nothing, everything is fine with them. You don’t have to look far for examples, just search for “study at 30” and look at people’s answers. I myself am planning to go to college, full-time or evening, and I’m 32. I don’t think about whether it’s embarrassing or not. More precisely, I’m not ashamed, and I don’t care what they think of me. If anyone appears, it’s because they are of a small mind; you don’t need to pay attention to such people. I know what I want, I set a goal for myself and am going towards it. There is no need to be afraid of anything. The second thing that went wrong for you is that you dropped out of school. Just one, but I still had to push myself and finish it. But don’t be sad, everything can be fixed, you are only 26, feel free to enroll in any educational institution, in any form - full-time, part-time, evening. When the train has left, remember that there are still planes. With panic attacks, you need to see a psychotherapist. And you can embellish your resume a little, write or say that you haven’t been sitting at home for a while. years, but worked without official employment status, for example, as a salesperson for a private owner. Or she went to another city to work, come up with something like that. In the end, you can tell the employer that you have realized everything and want to change, ask to give you a chance, to hire you at least for a trial period, in general, don’t give up, employers are people too, in one place they refused you, in another they will take you.
Tanya, age: 32 / 09/02/2016
Hello! everything you described is very similar to the standard problem of many women. You're not the only one with skeletons in your closet, many people have Social Phobia, so it's almost within the realm of normal. Depending on the circumstances, go to the doctor, it is very important to talk everything out and share your experiences with someone, listen to the doctor’s recommendations, they will definitely be beneficial. Understand yourself, don’t act in anger, it’s better to let go of the situation and time will clear everything up. It’s very good that you have a job, you are independent! Good luck in everything.
Lena, age: 18 / 09/03/2016
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How to deal with it
Periodic troubles happen to everyone, the problem becomes serious when one-time cases become natural, and then generally turn into a way of life. At the moment when a person independently hangs the label of a loser around his neck, it is already very difficult to fight the emerging tendency, and the sufferer himself does not want to make any effort, because he is already accustomed to living as before. It is best to think about changing the strategy of your behavior already at the initial stages, when one-time failures begin to add up to a streak of bad luck.
Since the main reason for the transformation of events into negative ones is a person’s worldview, his assessment of not only current events, but also the world, then it is necessary to start by changing one’s point of view. A positive attitude cannot be taken from scratch and applied to your entire life in seconds - it is a kind of spiritual or psychological practice, a skill that has been developed over the years. A person who strives for good and tries to find positive aspects in any negative situation will attract good luck. The longer you practice this life credo, the more luck you will experience in life.
You can train a positive attitude together with a psychologist, usually using the Gestalt approach or behavioral therapy, but you can also independently look for your benefit in troubles. For example, if a date falls through, then instead of an evening of self-flagellation, you can see this as an opportunity to meet with friends or do additional freelancing, and perhaps devote time to yourself. Even the realization that you got rid of the wrong person so quickly can turn a disaster in your personal life into success. Broken things, torn tights, scratched cars should be considered as a reason for repair, improvement or radical renewal. Instead of crushing, you need to look for the advantages of your development or rebranding.
It's important to start structuring your life because failure can simply be a result of clutter and not knowing what to do in the first place. If you always have an action plan at hand, the tasks of which fit together and allow you to gradually achieve positive results, then your personal effectiveness will increase. Make time for rest so that your concentration and fresh ideas are not reduced due to simple fatigue. It is necessary to provide yourself with maximum physical comfort so as not to be distracted and not nervous about everyday problems.
Rituals that bring happiness can be a good option, and it doesn’t matter whether you use morning prayer, Simoron techniques or your own ideas from a sequence of actions - the main thing is to start performing this program. Its goal is not a magical effect on reality, but to reprogram the brain to perceive the world as friendly, caring and, as a result, bringing good luck.
When it seems like life is not going well. Question 1.
— What is or was good in my life, and what have I achieved?
If the answer to this question is “nothing,” then most likely you devalue or underestimate your actions and achievements. The result of devaluation is a state when it seems that not only individual actions did not work out, but in general, the whole life failed, did not work out. Sometimes this habit develops over the years, sometimes it starts from childhood - if parents do not recognize the child’s achievements, constantly criticize him or teach him to be excessively modest.
The most unpleasant thing about the habit of devaluing your actions is that in the end you stop striving for anything at all. The energy melts, decreases, and it begins to seem that life is meaningless.
Watch also the webinar: “How to live to the fullest”
In psychology, there is a theory of positive reinforcement that has been proven by experience and works well in practice. Its essence is that when a person’s action is followed by some reaction that is pleasant to him, then the person will strive to repeat this action more often and develop it.
Let's apply this principle to everyday life. If, after all the work and effort you have put in, you devalue the result, then you will be less enthusiastic about making further efforts. Conversely, recognition will give you the energy to move on.
If you realize that you are prone to devaluing yourself and your actions, then the solution is to review what you have achieved and gradually change your tendency to devalue. Don't wait until you feel like your whole life is meaningless.
For example, have you learned a foreign language, but it is not useful to you and it seems to you that many years of learning have been a waste of time?
Let's find positive aspects in this story: you have developed the skill to understand a foreign language, learned a new country and culture, improved your concentration, met new people during your studies, and received pleasant emotions during the learning process.
In the end, you realized that foreign languages are not your thing and you are closer to understanding what your path actually is. Or maybe this foreign language has not been useful yet, but may be useful in the future?
Try to find everything useful and good. Imagine that you are talking to a person or child you care about and trying to prove to him that all this is not in vain, and it only seems to him that his life is meaningless. What would you tell him?
