Psychology of influence: book persuade, influence, defend yourself by R. Cialdini, read online for free full version, summary of the work

As practice shows, every person sooner or later in life falls under the influence of others, and it is usually believed that intentions and desires are formed only in the personal consciousness. This is an erroneous opinion: in psychology there is a special term that denotes invisible and cunning tricks used to influence someone else’s consciousness and encourage them to take the necessary actions. The psychology of influence explains in detail and clearly how to prevent such control of one’s own consciousness, learn to act in accordance with one’s own interests, and make important decisions independently.

What is the psychology of influence?

The psychology of influence is the influence on the thinking and behavior of another person using psychological methods. People, through special techniques, influence one or more members of society to achieve their own goals. For example, to obtain material benefits, satisfy needs, strengthen their position, and establish themselves in society.

True, living in society, citizens are influenced by the rules of behavior in society and the opinions of others. Individuals have their own value system, on the basis of which they build their relationships with other people and evaluate the actions of others. Thus, each individual not only experiences the influence of other members of society, but also influences them.

There are psychological techniques through which government officials, the media, or heads of large corporations specifically influence the minds of a huge number of people for personal gain. Those individuals who constantly use the technique of influencing the consciousness of others criticize any methods of influencing the human psyche. This is done to ensure that no one but them uses such psychological techniques.

However, everyone needs to know the methods of psychology of influence in order to do it competently, for the benefit of society and not fall for the tricks of dishonest manipulators. Knowledge of this discipline will help you raise children correctly, achieve a promotion, find a common language with others, and succeed in business. Influencing the way of thinking and behavior of other people occurs using a variety of techniques.

Ways of psychology to influence a person:

Belief.

This method of influence is based on logic. In the process of persuasion, the individual's mind is addressed. A person voluntarily accepts the information with which he is convinced. This technique eliminates coercion or mental pressure. This method of influence is used in relation to people with a high intellectual level.

Suggestion.

There is an impact on the emotional-unconscious sphere of the individual with the help of special words. The information for suggestion is short, intense or expressive. The person to whom something is suggested must be of sound mind and trust his interlocutor. Information that is perceived by an individual cannot be criticized. A person is convinced of the correctness and authority of the one who inspires him with some thoughts.

Infection.

This is an ancient mechanism of influencing people. A person, thanks to his strong emotional nature and personal charm, “infects” others with his energy and ideas. All leaders have the technique of infection.

Imitation.

People consciously or unconsciously copy other people's behavior, character traits, external image, style of famous actors, politicians or successful people. Usually they imitate the object they admire. If an individual wants to achieve influence, he acquires those qualities that other people will admire and later copy.

Request.

This is a gentle way of influencing the psyche. The individual is asked to do something so as not to formalize the impact of the technique. Request is resorted to when help is needed. If a person is not forced to do something, but is asked, an understanding of his importance arises in his mind. People are more willing to respond to a polite request than to an order.

Compulsion.

It is expressed in the form of a direct demand to agree with the proposed views or a ready-made standard of behavior. A person may not be internally ready to do what he is forced to do. In this case, serious motivation is involved.

Advice.

The individual is offered a solution to his problem. A person can accept the offer or reject it. It all depends on the degree of hopelessness of the situation, the attractiveness of the advice and the temperament of the individual. Most often, sanguine people listen to other people's recommendations.

Praise.

Every individual experiences a need for praise. An approving review of a person indicates that his work and actions are valued. Men are less dependent on praise than women. Men feel like they did the job perfectly, even if others didn’t notice.

Intimidation.

A person succumbs more easily to the influence of others if he is frightened. For this purpose, threats are used that cause the individual to fear for his life. Most often, intimidation is used in families, the army, educational and correctional institutions.

Criticism.

A person is criticized, insulted and laughed at when they want him to do something, buy something, or say something. An individual, in order to avoid ridicule, does what is asked of him.

Ignoring.

A person’s psyche is subjected to influence, deliberately ignoring him and his requests. In this way, it is possible to force the individual to change his behavior or do something.

Psychological influence on an individual is accomplished through words. True, the same information affects different people differently. The degree of trust and suggestibility of a person is influenced by the intonation with which words are pronounced, as well as the gestures and posture of the manipulator himself. It is easier to influence people if you involve them in some kind of organized activity, where they will receive a certain status and feel their own importance.

A little about the author

Robert Cialdini was born on April 24, 1945.
He studied at the University of Wisconsin and North Carolina and was a graduate student at Columbia University. Throughout the study, Cialdini worked at the University of Arizona. The psychologist was invited to Ohio University, a California institution.

Since 1996, the author of the book has served as president of the Society for Personality and Social Psychology. He received various awards.

Since 2009, he stopped doing scientific research. An experimental social psychologist studied the principles of compliance. He analyzes the effect of requests and demands on a person.

Important!

All studies are based on the author’s personal experience and observations of his own behavior.

What techniques does the psychology of influence use?

People are influenced even when they are not aware of it. If a person wants to understand the essence of methods of influencing the psyche, he needs to know what techniques exist in the psychology of influence. You should also understand how the psychological impact occurs.

Techniques of the psychology of influence:

Before instilling information in a person, it is necessary to win him over and inspire trust.
It is possible to influence an individual only if he does not control his own feelings, trusts his opponent, and accepts what he says without criticism.
Information for suggestion must be presented in small parts. A person should not understand where the truth is and where the lies are. It needs to be “confused.”
Before influencing an individual, you need to understand what he wants. His attention needs to be “caught” and held for some time.
It is necessary to influence a person’s strong feelings. They are usually based on instincts and strong feelings. Associated with pain, death, fear, difficulties.
An individual can be influenced for some time from a television screen if he likes the range of feelings that are demonstrated.
To attract a person's attention, you need to promise him something. For example, a better future.
Serious sentences must be spoken slowly, with long pauses between words.
A person opens up to suggestion if his inner harmony is disrupted and an example of suffering is given to him.
The individual should feel that his problem will soon be resolved. It is important to give a person hope.
An individual becomes more pliable if he is surprised or shocked by something.
It is easier to influence a person if the information with which he is influenced contains contrasting concepts.
Knowledge of intimate things and secret information creates an invisible connection between people. Having gained access to a person’s inner world, it is easier to influence him.
People are keenly interested in those things that are prohibited.
Several methods of influence should be used simultaneously. Together they have even greater power.
You can hit the target accurately if you speak in general phrases.
It is easier to influence an individual if you first confuse him and make him feel helpless.
In the process of influence, it is not necessary to speak in direct text; you can use associations. Ultimately, they will evoke in a person the necessary thoughts and the required state.

The psychology of influence is the most powerful weapon in the hands of an intelligent person. If you use techniques to influence the human psyche, you can achieve the desired result. True, it is necessary to use psychological methods of influence only for the benefit of a person.

Admit mistakes in your thinking

People will intuitively trust a human being more than a computerized machine that is incapable of making mistakes. This is mainly due to the emotional connection we build with other people.

Errors in thinking are essentially any assumptions and premature conclusions you make that turn out to be incorrect. In many cases, these assumptions may only be known to you.

To recognize these minor errors in thinking, you must show other people three important things:

that you are not perfect;
that you are like them;
that you have emotional human qualities.

This in itself will create deep levels of understanding between you and the other person on an unconscious level.

How to protect yourself from psychological influence?

Knowledge of protective techniques helps protect a person from information that is not always useful and coercion to some unfavorable action. Many methods of psychoprotection are built taking into account the properties of the human psyche. Manipulation techniques are based on the way people think.

Methods of protection from psychological influence:

Calmly comprehend the proposal or situation. Don't give in to emotions. Don't be afraid of anything.
He is critical of everything he hears.
Don't agree to the first offer. Get to know other options.
Avoid the opinion that is being imposed. Try to understand the situation yourself.
If a person gains trust too quickly and imposes his friendship, you need to take a step back. A manipulator should not be allowed close to his deepest secrets and desires.
If a stranger demands that you immediately perform some actions, you should, on the contrary, wait a while.
If a person does not want to answer all the questions in detail, then he has dishonest intentions.
It is easier for manipulators to achieve obedience from a group of people than from one person. In any situation you need to maintain individuality.

Techniques for protecting yourself from psychological pressure:

question the person in detail about the nature of his request;
with the help of compelling arguments, calmly and leisurely object and refuse the proposal;
if the pressure is very strong, you need to find a reason to leave for a while. For example, to turn off the kettle, talk on the phone;
find weaknesses in the situation, demonstrate personal strengths;
Having neutralized the pressure, you can offer cooperation.

People with low self-esteem and who do not know how to defend their own rights most often succumb to psychological influence. If a person wants to protect himself from the influence of others, he needs to believe in himself, have his own views on any aspects of life, not trust strangers, and be critical of new information. You can turn to an experienced specialist for help, for example, psychologist-hypnologist Nikita Valerievich Baturin.

Admit personal mistakes

People secretly (and sometimes openly) despise those who do not admit their personal mistakes. You may believe that admitting your mistakes will make you incompetent or unworthy of your status. But nothing could be further from the truth. Mistakes from which the right lessons are learned are the seeds of evolution and change, without which it is impossible to grow and progress.

When it comes to mistakes, it's all about perspective: how you look at a situation and how you explain the lessons you've learned to other people. Other people don't want to be around people who can't admit when they're wrong. They have very little respect for such people. And where there is no respect, there is no place for influence.

Summary of the book “Psychology of Influence”

Introduction

People often give in to requests to donate money to charity or subscribe to magazines they don't need. It turns out that a correctly formulated phrase allows you to achieve what you want. A polite request is a more effective tool than a demand.

Compliance is based on certain psychological principles. They are leverage. Some people use them quite professionally. It’s just that in order to survive and succeed in life they need to force those around them to give in.

There are a thousand tactics for obtaining consent from a person. However, they all fall into 6 main categories. All of them are described in the book, one in each chapter.

Chapter 1. Instruments of influence

One day, the owner of a jewelry store decided to quickly sell a batch of turquoise jewelry that had not been sold for a long time. She asked the saleswoman to halve the price for them. However, the girl misunderstood the request and doubled the cost of the jewelry. Soon all the turquoise products were sold out. It turns out that people are more willing to buy expensive goods than cheap ones.

This phenomenon can be understood using the example of a turkey mother. She takes care of her chicks if they make a “cheep-cheep” sound. The ferret is the worst enemy of turkeys. Seeing this animal, they rush to attack it. However, if the ferret makes a “cheep-cheep” sound, turkey mothers will mistake it for their chick and even take it under their wing.

Not only turkeys, but also other representatives of the fauna behave like automata. Birds and animals have patterns of recorded actions. They most often appear during courtship and mating.

There are subtle signals that force animals and birds to attack their relatives if they invade their territory. Even a certain shade of color can serve as a “trigger”. A male robin will attack a bunch of red feathers, mistaking them for his rival.

Knowing the triggers that cause animals or birds to behave in one way or another can cause them to react in a way that is inappropriate to the situation. People also have fixed patterns of behavior. They can be used to fool people.

True, in people, automatic reactions are not innate, but acquired. And the role of the trigger is played by more factors than in animals.

Harvard psychologist E. Langer conducted an experiment in which she found that people agree to provide a service faster if they are given a reason. Without the “because” phrase, the effectiveness of the request decreases.

People often make expensive purchases thinking that they are paying for a better quality item. In their understanding, expensive means good. When buying an item at a higher price, buyers act in accordance with a stereotype ingrained in society. They don’t think for a long time, they don’t look for factors that would indicate the real cost of the product. Buyers rely only on stereotypical thinking.

However, people will always use stereotypes because they do not have time to check everything and study the real value of things. Especially popular is the opinion of experts who recommend buying something because they have thoroughly studied the quality of the goods. Whether this is actually true, few people have time to double-check.

In nature, some individuals specifically copy the behavior of their distant relatives in order to gain some benefit from it. For example, roaming beetles fool ants with scents and force them to feed their larvae. They themselves, descending into the house of the ants, eat their eggs. Or, for example, a saber-toothed fish, pretending to be a cleaner, lulls the vigilance of a large fish, swims close to it and rips a piece of meat out of its body.

Knowing the fact that buyers prefer expensive goods, some sellers deliberately increase prices for cheap items. They manage to sell them faster and more profitably. Sometimes the cost of goods is inflated, and before the sale they discount it almost twice. The buyer does not notice the catch; it seems to him that he bought an expensive item at a random price.

There is a method of influencing people that is somewhat similar to the jujitsu technique. It is based on contrast. Before offering the buyer a cheap item, he is offered to buy a more expensive one. After an expensive purchase, people are less picky about the quality of a lower-cost related product.

And, conversely, if they want to buy something from people, they are first offered a ridiculously low price. Then the cost is increased. The seller, as a rule, agrees with the new price. After all, it contrasts favorably with the previous one.

Chapter 2. Mutual exchange

The most powerful tool for people to influence each other is the rule of mutual exchange. If a person is sent a card for Christmas, he must respond to it. A visit implies a subsequent invitation. According to the generally accepted rule, people are obliged to gratefully respond to kindness addressed to them.

The feeling of gratitude is common in every society. Thanks to the ability to respond kindly to kindness, human society progresses. In ancient times, people gave the food they got to their relatives, and in return received care and clothing. In India, there is still a custom of exchanging gifts. Moreover, they try to return more than they received.

It is customary in society to thank a person for doing a favor. People who deviate from the rule of reciprocity are called ungrateful beggars. This law is often used for personal gain. A person will be more willing to buy lottery tickets from a seller who has previously provided him with an insignificant service. For example, he brought Coca-Cola.

People are more likely to buy products from sellers they like. However, if an ugly person gives them something, the buyers will go to him out of gratitude. Knowing this feature, unpleasant-looking merchants rush to provide some kind of service before forcing people to buy their goods. Members of the Krishna Society ask for donations after forcing people to give a book or a flower as a gift.

The rule of reciprocity is also used in politics. Most politicians come to power by doing favors for their associates and subsequently receiving gratitude from them. If government officials have nothing in common with the most influential people in the country, then any of their proposals or reforms are doomed to failure. Simply no one will support them, even if the sympathy of the people is on their side.

The rule of reciprocal services also applies in the trade sphere. Free samples bring huge profits. If you give customers the opportunity to cut themselves slices of cheese to try, they will soon buy the product itself, despite its too high price or poor taste.

Even unpleasant merchants can force anyone to buy something from them if they first give them some kind of gift. The rule of exchanging pleasantries applies everywhere. It was the reason for progress. People are more willing to send money to the Disabled Veterans Association if a gift is added to the request card. True, the exchange is not always equal. A trinket that represents nothing can force a person to fork out a lot.

Chapter 3. Superstition of consciousness. Commitment and Consistency

When people come to the racetrack, they feel more confident after placing their bets. In society, everyone strives to conform to their chosen behavior pattern. People, by inertia, impose this desire on others. For example, a horse must win if people believe in it. Or with a guy who promised not to drink and get married, the girl will be happy to make a choice in his favor, even if he does not fulfill his intentions.

Every individual strives to be consistent. If a person is asked to look after things, he will certainly rush after the thief who tries to steal them. However, if such instructions are not given, no one will run after the criminal.

People who have some problems that they cannot solve on their own will willingly sign up for meditation courses, even if they understand that they will not help them. It’s just hard to convince a person who has a positive attitude towards scammers. He wants to believe in a miracle and no longer suffer from solving his own problems.

Toy stores have learned to make maximum profits not only before Christmas, but also in the first months after it. They first advertise toys that all children will want. Then, before the holiday, they are removed from the counter. Parents have to buy an equivalent gift. After Christmas, the advertising is repeated again, and the treasured toy is already on store shelves.

If a person wants to receive a serious concession from people in the future, he starts with a small request that will not cost anyone anything. Having learned to give in, people, without noticing it themselves, will fall into the trap and buy an unnecessary thing or make a rash decision that is not in their favor.

Some manipulators ask people to write about their goals. When a person has identified a promising task for himself, he will mentally strive to complete it. The strength of this technique lies precisely in the written commitment.

Chapter 4: Social Proof The Truth Is Us

People consider their own behavior to be correct if they see that other members of society are doing the same. Recorded laughter makes you want to laugh even at an unfunny joke. There is a tendency for people to behave according to generally accepted patterns without thinking twice about it.

The tendency to imitate is present in adults and children. People will agree to do something faster when they know that people they know are also willing to comply with the proposed requirement.

Individuals who are insecure are most willing to copy the behavior of others. If people see that they are similar to someone else in some way, they may do the same. Insecure individuals may commit suicide if they see similarities with themselves in the suicide.

Chapter 5. Favor

Shoppers are quicker to purchase products from their friends or people they like. Some companies specially organize home parties, inviting neighbors who know each other to sell them something. At such gatherings there is a special atmosphere of goodwill. Everyone buys things they don't even need.

An attractive person can easily win others over to his side. Such an individual seems very convincing to everyone. This is often used by scammers. After all, an attractive person can easily change his mind about something and quickly achieve the desired result.

Citizens are inferior to those people who are somewhat similar to them. Compliments are especially attractive. True, then some citizens have to suffer for their love of flattery. You can not succumb to the unwanted influence of an overly attractive individual if you are critical of him and his words.

Chapter 6. Authority. Guided Respect

If a person is asked to participate in an experiment in which another participant will have to be subjected to electric shock, he will not refuse such an offer. Even without being a sadist, an individual will hurt other citizens under the pressure of an authoritative person whose actions cannot be criticized.

Blind obedience to authority is a centuries-old practice. From time immemorial this behavior has been considered correct. True, respect is often caused not by the authoritative person himself, but by his title, clothes, car brand.

Chapter 7. Deficit. Rule of small

A person tends to value more what he may soon lose. For example, if entry into a closed Mormon church is allowed to everyone for only one day, everyone will go there on a tour. People will always stop talking to answer the phone. After all, an obvious interlocutor will not run away anywhere, but an unknown caller may disappear forever.

Things that are difficult to acquire have great value. People are willing to overpay to get something that is in short supply. The same thing happens with information. If it is limited, everyone will strive to receive the news in full. Society has a favorable attitude towards incomplete information. After all, she seems very convincing to everyone.

This book will help you find answers to the following questions:

The most common tricks of sellers - see Chapter 2

Successful negotiations using the “refuse-then-retreat” technique - see Chapter 2

How to avoid falling victim to the rule of “equal exchange” - see Chapter 2

“Chinese tactics” - the easiest way to control people - see chapter 3

How to instill in your child a desire to do the right thing - see Chapter 3

Manipulation of conscience. The Art of Commitment - see Chapter 3

Laughter behind the scenes: the dangers of copying the behavior of other people - see Chapter 4

How to ask for help correctly - see Chapter 4

Who are Buyers from Mars - see Chapter 4

"I like you!" How to win people over - see Chapter 5

You have been charmed: know how to say “no” - see Chapter 5

When to Submit and When to Rebel: Understanding Authority— See Chapter 6

Instant Impact – See Chapter 7

Reviews[ | ]

Writer Andrey Minin:

“The book has 8 chapters in total and after reading it you will get acquainted, if not with all, then with the main methods that manipulators use and you will learn how to resist them. Of course, this book will be useful to marketers, especially those who are focused on increasing sales. You just have to remember about professional ethics in marketing and not slide into deception, trying to manipulate customers.”[7]

Antonina Korobeynikova, teacher at the Russian School of Management, business coach and consultant in the field of marketing communications:

“All specialists working in the field of marketing need to understand how the psychology of representatives of the target audience works, because we constantly need to influence them, verbal and non-verbal. Robert Cialdini teaches not to appeal to the crowd, but recommends working with specific people.”[8]

Anatoly Leonidovich Sventsitsky, Doctor of Psychology, Professor of St. Petersburg State University:

“With good reason we can say that in this book all those who have to constantly communicate with a wide range of different people in their line of work will find a lot of interesting and instructive things for themselves.”[9]

See the situation from the other person's point of view

Often we simply don't see things from the other person's point of view. Our opinion is, after all, only one side of the coin. We did not experience the emotions and feelings of another person. Didn't grow up where he did. Our thinking and personal experiences are different.

Do you want to learn how to influence others? Then, first of all, look at the situation with his own eyes. This alone will allow him to warm to you. This means that he will begin to listen to you with great interest.

How often have you said the phrase: “He behaves so illogically, it’s crazy!”? But is this really true? Maybe you just haven't tried to understand him? Even if the logic turns out to be strange, it exists to one degree or another.

You don't have to agree with this person's opinion. After all, the world is full of strange and illogical people. However, you must show that you are listening carefully and showing respect. It will also show the person that you share many common beliefs and values, which will allow you to develop deep levels of mutual understanding.

Literature[ | ]

Robert B. Cialdini.Influence:The Psychology of Persuasion 1984, 1993, by Robert Cialdini. Published by arrangement with HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.

Cialdini Robert. Psychology of influence. How to learn to persuade and achieve success. Translator: Epimakhov O. S. M.

Publisher: Bombora, 2022, 416 pp. ISBN 978-5-699-91991-8

Kenrick, D. T., Neuberg, S. L., & Cialdini, R. B. (2010). Social psychology: Goals in interaction (5th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

Preface

The first version of the book was intended for the general reader, so I tried to make it entertaining. In the study group version, I retained the same style but also presented evidence from recent research to support my earlier statements, conclusions, and recommendations. Although I have added a significant number of interviews, quotes, and systematic personal observations in the latest version, the findings of The Psychology of Influence are based on evidence-based psychological research. Teachers and students can be sure that this book is not just another example of “pop psychology”, but represents a serious scientific work. The educational version also contains new material that meets modern requirements, conclusions at the end of each chapter, as well as test questions to help you better understand the information.

The material in the new version of “Psychology of Influence” can be used with great benefit in practice, and at the same time it is scientifically documented. Moreover, reading this book is enjoyable for most people. “Psychology of Influence” once again confirms: material that often seems dry and overly scientific, if properly presented, can turn out to be fresh, useful and easy to digest.

Commentary on the fifth edition of the book “Psychology of Influence”

During the time that has passed since the publication of the first edition of “The Psychology of Influence”, much has happened that, in my opinion, deserves attention. We now know much more about the mechanisms of influence than before. Psychologists have made great progress in studying the science of persuasion, the causes of compliance and change, and I have tried to reflect this progress in the pages of the book. Not only have I revised and updated the material, but I have paid particular attention to information about public culture and new technologies, as well as research on cross-cultural social influence—how influence is similar or different across cultures.

In the new edition, I also used feedback from people who read previous versions of this book. Many realized that at certain moments they were faced with leverage, and they told me about their cases in letters. You will see how easily we fall prey to compliance professionals in our daily lives in the Reader Reports at the end of the chapters. I am deeply grateful to the people who helped me produce this book. Several of my colleagues read the draft manuscript and made valuable comments, thereby improving the final version. They are Gus Levine, Doug Kenrick, Art Beaman and Mark Zanna. In addition, the first draft was read by several members of my family and my friends - Richard and Gloria Cialdini, Bobetta Gorden and Ted Hall. They not only supported me emotionally, but also gave my book the objective assessment that I simply needed.

Quite a few people have made specific, useful suggestions regarding the content of individual or several chapters. These are Todd Anderson, Sandy Braver, Katherine Chambers, Judy Cialdini, Nancy Eisenberg, Larry Atkin, Joan Gersten, Jeff Goldstein, Betsy Hance, Valerie Hance, Joe Hepworth, Holly Hunt, Anne Inskip, Barry Leshowitz, Darwin Linder, Debbie Littler, John Mowen, Igor Pavlov, Janis Posner, Trish Puryear, Marilyn Rohl, John Reich, Peter Reingen, Diana Rabl, Phyllis Sensenig, Roman and Henry Wellman. I am grateful to the people who contributed to the publication of the book. John Staley was the first professional publisher to recognize the project's high potential. Jim Sherman, Al Goethels, John Keating, Dan Wagner, Dalmas Taylor, Wendy Wood, and David Watson provided early positive reviews and inspired both the author and the editors. My editors at Allyn and Bacon, Caroline Merrill and Jodi Devine, were unfailingly pleasant, helpful, and understanding. In addition, I want to thank some of the readers who provided feedback: Emory Griffith (Wheaton College); Robert Levin (California, Fresno); Jeffrey Levin and Louis Mora (University of Georgia); David Miller and Richard Rogers, Daytona Beach (Community College). This publication benefits greatly from comments by Assaad Azzi (Yale University); Roberta M. Brady (University of Arkansas); Brian M. Cohen (University of Texas at San Antonio); Christian B. Grendell (University of Florida); Katherine Goodwin (University of Alaska); Robert G. Lowder (Bradley University); James W. Michael Jr. (Virginia Polytechnic Institute and University of Virginia); Eugene P. Sheehan (University of Northern Colorado); Jefferson E. Singer (Connecticut College); Sandy W. Smith (University of Michigan). I am also grateful to the highly accomplished editor Laura McKenna.

Finally, during the entire preparation of the book for publication, no one gave me such tangible help as Bobette Gorden, who supported me with every word.

I also want to thank the people who, either directly or through the instructors of the courses they took, contributed to the Readers' Reports in this publication. They are Pat Bobbs, Annie Carto, William Cooper, Alicia Friedman, William Graziano, Mark Hastings, Endayehu Candy, Danuta Lubnicka, James Michaels, Stephen Moisey, Paul R. Nail, Alan J. Resnick, Daryl Retzlaff, Jeffrey Rosenberger, Dan Swift and Carla Vasks.

I would like to invite readers of this new version to submit their reports for publication in the next edition. They can be sent to me at: Department of Psychology, Arizona State University, Tempe, AZ 85287-1104 or Finally, if you are interested in more information on the topic of "psychology of influence" , visit influenceatwork.com.

Robert B. Cialdini

Learn to tell stories

When people hear stories, they can emotionally connect with the character of the story and the personality of the storyteller. If you master the art of storytelling, you will learn how to influence people in the most subtle ways and still evoke a positive reaction.

To tell a good story, follow these rules:

Think about what moral of the story you want to convey. The audience or interlocutor always asks themselves: “Why should I listen to all this?”
Relate the story to your own experience. An impersonal story is of little interest to anyone; a person wants to know about the fall, successes, incredible and strange events in which you took part.
Don't make yourself a hero and don't boast. Few people will be interested in the story that you have a gold watch worth ten thousand dollars. You will get nothing but envy and bewilderment.
Bring the fight to the forefront. A good story requires that there is conflict and that the path to success was rocky.
Keep the story simple. Remove from it complex phrases and all the husk that interferes with the perception of the story.

And one more thing: practice regularly. You may not succeed the first time, but if you practice and seek feedback, you are, as they say, doomed to success.

Don't make promises you can't keep

There is nothing that can break the rapport you already have with another person faster than the simple act of not keeping promises. When we promise something to another person, he immediately creates a lot of expectations in his head. The very moment a promise is fulfilled, an invisible connection is created between you. This connection, however, is as strong as your word.

If you don't keep your word, then this connection quickly breaks down. Any person’s expectations will be deceived, and it will take a lot of time and effort to regain trust.

Therefore, remember a simple rule: do not make promises if you are not sure that you can keep it. Don't say this word. This applies to even the smallest promises, such as calling back the next day. In the end, you can simply forget, wrapped up in work. You will automatically lose the power of your influence.

On the other hand, if you promised to call at five o'clock in the evening and kept your word, then what message does the person receive? He gains confidence and believes that he can rely on you.