Your son is gradually growing up: externally and internally. You can barely keep up with what's happening to him. A lot is changing: from clothes and habits to worldview and attitude towards girls.
The difficult teenage stage is inherent in nature; it cannot be avoided. For some it happens earlier, for others later, but on average, boys begin to transform from a child into a man at the age of 11-12 years.
Believe me, it's not easy for your son right now. Physical illness is superimposed by unstable mental processes and new views on the world around us. If you understand what is happening in your son’s body and can explain it to him, then this stage will be a little easier.
Let's start with physiological changes.
Raising a 9-year-old boy: advice from a psychologist
You need to try to sort out the problems. That is, do not shift responsibility onto your child’s shoulders, but also do not deprive him of choice. Give your child more independence than before. You cannot leave a child without control, because he can make a lot of mistakes, but try to make this control unnoticeable. Do not lie and tell your child the truth, even if it is quite harsh and unpleasant.
Raising a 9-year-old boy, advice from a psychologist:
- Be sure to get advice about spending family money. Monitor your child’s health and, if necessary, consult a dermatologist to solve problems with oily skin, acne and pimples.
- Be sure to praise your child, even if the achievements are minor.
- Do not reprimand your child in front of peers, as this may undermine his or her authority. Listen to his opinion and express yours, but don’t force him to do it his way.
- Be sure to be interested in successes and listen to what the child says. Trust him and be sure to love him.
- Boys aged 9 years have not yet reached the culmination of adolescence, so there may be subtle changes in behavior. However, at this age there is a need for personal space and greater freedom.
- Therefore, parents should be prepared that after the age of 9 the child will gradually become distant. Remember that at this age sons are very vulnerable, interests, some questions and doubts appear. Be sure to communicate with your child and try to support him. Very often, sweet children turn into unbearable ones and may behave badly.
Communication
Stages of boy development
In order to approach the issue of upbringing with all seriousness, it is necessary to understand the stages of a child’s growing up.
There are three of them
:
- The first stage (from birth to 6 years) is characterized by the boy’s attachment to his mother. This stage is important for the child, as he acquires a sense of security.
- Second stage (from 6 to 14 years old) At this stage, the boy copies the behavior, actions and interests of his father, and feels proud of being a man. Mom is still a close friend to him. This is a time of learning and developing abilities.
- The third stage (from 14 to 18) is the stage of growing up. During these years, a boy needs a father or mentor who will give the right advice, answer all his questions, talk about moral values, and instill a sense of responsibility.
At all stages of growing up, both parents should be involved in parenting. In life, everything turns out differently: one of the parents comes to the fore and has a greater influence on the son. Often this is the mother.
Psychology of a 10-11 year old boy: advice
The transitional age can begin at 11 years old and last until 17. This is a fairly wide range, during which significant changes in appearance occur. The genital organs mature, hair growth increases, the voice changes, and significant changes occur in the boy’s height and weight. In general, from 14 to 16 years of age, there may be a peak in weight gain, as well as in height. It is during this period that a young man is able to grow by several tens of centimeters. Of course, such a significant jump in growth and changes in appearance is due to the high content of various hormones in the blood. They can affect the child’s mental state, causing anxiety, apathy, excessive emotionality, or, conversely, isolation. Therefore, parents should be prepared for this. It is best to prepare your child for such a period in advance by discussing important aspects.
Psychology of a 10-11 year old boy, tips:
- First of all, it is necessary to talk about nocturnal emissions that occur in adolescents. Indeed, according to the opinion of a large number of experts, they are the ones who cause a lot of anxiety in children. If you are embarrassed to talk about such intimate topics, you can offer him a relevant book. In this case, the teenager will independently choose a convenient time to read useful information.
- It is necessary for the child to understand that nothing bad is happening to his body. Be sure to pay attention to the teenager’s appearance. At the age of 10-16 years, boys and girls are characterized by youthful maximalism; they are very scrupulous about their appearance. It may not change for the better. Previously beautiful, smooth, thin skin becomes oily, covered with pimples and comedones.
- Even if these problems are minor, you need to pay attention to them. Never yell at your child or ignore his problems, even if they seem insignificant to you. Help your child take care of his skin. Take him to an appointment with a dermatologist, talk and discuss all the intricacies of caring for oily teenage skin. Usually, dermatologists prescribe special products, talkers, and masks that help remove pimples and blackheads.
In company
Housework
First of all, you have to learn to consider a 10-11 year old teenager not only as a child, but also as a person who wants to make decisions on his own, without regard to what they will say or think about him. It is possible that he will view the performance of household duties not as an objectively necessary action, but as an act of submission to someone else’s will.
Discuss with the future hostess that you are not able to do everything around the house and it would be reasonable (if she is already old enough) to share the worries with her. Give her your “territory,” for which she will be responsible, entrust her with a certain (but strictly limited) list of matters that are under her jurisdiction.
At the age of 10, a girl must clean her own room
Better instead:
- Keep your room tidy (lead by example).
- Discuss the consequences of such negligence (the occurrence of allergic reactions and frequent illnesses due to excess dust and poor hygiene, the appearance of an unpleasant odor in clothes, to which classmates may react poorly).
- Be able to show a moderately positive reaction to the fact that your daughter has finally taken up cleaning (stormy enthusiasm, as well as ignorance, can cause a teenager to have a negative attitude towards the experience of housekeeping).
If your 10-year-old daughter does something outside the regulated list, then be sure to note how much she helped you, because this is not part of her responsibilities, and she spent her free personal time taking care of her family and household chores.
Psychology of a 12 year old boy: advice
During this period, personal boundaries are built, so do not be upset if a teenager moves away from you. For the first time he begins to feel like a person, a person and an individual, as well as a member of society. He wants his opinion to be taken into account.
Psychology of a 12 year old boy, advice:
- If there is misunderstanding on the part of adults, the child may withdraw into himself. Therefore, under no circumstances treat a teenager as a child. Try to communicate with him as an adult, but do not forget that he is not smart or experienced enough to make serious decisions. Please note that now very low self-esteem and complexes may form.
- The child often becomes overly anxious during this period. There may be difficulties communicating with peers. Therefore, take a closer look at your friends and surroundings. Teenagers aged 11-12 years may act rashly. This is one of the most dangerous periods, when there is a surge of hormones, and boys want to be better than their peers, often getting into “weak” fights.
- The main task is to assert yourself, prove to yourself that you are worth something, and also gain authority among your peers. It is necessary to tell the child that he is worthy, thereby increasing his self-esteem. It is necessary that the child learns to perceive his emotions and control them. In adolescence, this is quite difficult; the emotional component predominates rather than the rational one. Therefore, teach your child to control his emotions and manage aggression.
At this stage, boundaries are changed and new ones are created. An independent person with his own views and emotions is formed. Therefore, it is quite natural that the guy wants to separate from his parents. That is why at the moment there may be a denial of family values, authority and norms of behavior. The child may become too aggressive. Try to smooth out such conflicts gently. Very often, children want to do everything the other way around in order to annoy adults and contrast their values. Often a restructuring of emotions occurs, and feelings become more vivid.
Alone
How to develop a child
It is necessary to develop a teenager in two directions - physical and psychological. Parents try to choose a club or sport for their child, and then scold them for failure. Because dad or mom is trying to realize personal unfulfilled dreams with his life - this is prohibited. A person chooses the type of activity himself.
Psychologically, the guy is able to take responsibility for any actions. He can be assigned to take out the trash every day, pick up his younger brother from kindergarten, and put him to bed. This is how a little person is taught discipline and order. If the family does not have clear guidelines, he will quickly get tired and ignore responsibilities, which will affect future family life.
The worst thing on the mother’s part is excessive persistence and unnecessary care. The first case is when a person grows up lacking initiative, timid, and afraid of women. The second is lazy, irresponsible. Both cases of creating a strong family will be unsuccessful, because at a certain moment a woman also needs support. It is situations like this that destroy families.
Psychology of a 13 year old boy
Parents should gently encourage them to make the right choice. You must try to make sure that he does not understand that you are the initiator of a useful acquaintance. A child at this age may ignore those he does not like and does not feel trust.
Psychology of a 13 year old boy:
- Male education is very important during this period. That is why it is necessary for his father to communicate with him. Not only the mother is able to discuss sensitive issues, but also the father. It is necessary that trust arises from early childhood.
- Only in such conditions will the child discuss masculine topics with his father. If in childhood and adolescence there is no trust between parents and child, then in adulthood such an individual will constantly shift responsibility to someone else. Often such guys become childish and not independent. The father and mother must allow the child to make his own decisions, even if he makes mistakes.
- First of all, in adolescence, the father should communicate with the child not as with his son, keeping him under constant control, pointing out mistakes, but forming friendly relations. It is worth noting that at the age of 14, children in a military family are more disciplined and resilient than their peers. However, in such families a huge problem arises. This is due to the rather strict treatment of children, which often provokes a breakdown.
Restrictions
Errors in education
How not to raise boys?
List of the main mistakes of parents
:
- Don't make a boy into a "real man." All real men are different, the only fake men are those who pretend to be “real”. Andrei Dmitrievich Sakharov resembles Arnold Schwarzenegger just as little as Carmen resembles the mother heroine. Help the boy choose the version of masculinity that is closer to him and in which he will be more successful, so that he can accept himself and not regret missed, most often just imaginary, opportunities.
- Do not raise him to be a warrior and defender of the fatherland. The historical destinies of the modern world, of which Russia is a part, are decided not on the battlefields, but in the sphere of scientific, technical and cultural achievements. If your boy grows up to be a worthy person and citizen who knows how to defend his rights and fulfill the responsibilities associated with them, he will also cope with the defense of the fatherland. If he gets used to seeing enemies all around and resolving all disputes from a position of strength, nothing but troubles will happen to him in life.
- Don't raise him to be a hunter; this profession has long gone out of fashion. Almost half of the animal species are listed in the Red Book, and human hunters sooner or later end up in the dock of the Hague Tribunal. Let him better be an ecologist, a defender of nature and all those who need help.
- Don't teach him to be different from women. Firstly, he is already different from them. Secondly, his peers will definitely and harshly teach him “not to be a girl,” even against your will. Why would you sing in this loud but voiceless choir? Parents are unique and should be soloists.
- Do not teach a boy, following the example of noble knights and vile rapists, to treat a woman from a position of strength. It is beautiful to be a knight, but if your boy ends up in a relationship with a woman who is not a leader, but a follower, or faces unfair competition on her part, this will be a trauma for him. It makes more sense to see “a woman in general” as an equal partner and potential friend, and to build relationships with specific girls and women individually, depending on their and your roles and characteristics.
- Don't try to mold your son in your own image. Even the Lord God, whose beloved creation often looks like an evil caricature of His plan, failed to do this. For a parent who does not suffer from delusions of grandeur, a much more important task is to help the boy become himself.
- Do not force the boy to realize your unfulfilled dreams and illusions. You don’t know what devils are guarding the path you once turned off, or whether it exists at all. The only thing in your power is to help the boy choose the optimal development option for him, but the right to choose belongs to him.
- Don't try to pretend to be a strict father or an affectionate mother if these traits are not characteristic of you. Firstly, it is impossible to deceive a child. Secondly, he is influenced not by an abstract “sex role model”, but by the individual properties of the parent, his moral example and how he treats his son.
- Do not believe psychologists who claim that defective boys grow up in single-parent families. This statement is factually incorrect, but acts as a self-fulfilling prediction. “Incomplete families” are not those in which there is no father or mother, but those in which parental love is lacking. The maternal family has its own additional problems and difficulties, but it is better than a family with an alcoholic father or where the parents live like cats and dogs.
- Don’t try to replace your son’s peer society, avoid confrontation with the boys’ environment, even if you don’t like it. The only thing you can and should do is to mitigate the inevitable trauma and difficulties associated with it. A trusting atmosphere in the family helps best against “bad comrades.” And according to old advertising, only an insurance policy provides a 100% guarantee against all troubles.
- Do not abuse prohibitions and, if possible, avoid confrontation with the boy. If strength is on your side, then time is on his side. A short-term gain can easily turn into a long-term loss. And if you break his will, both sides will lose.
- Never use corporal punishment. Anyone who hits a child demonstrates not strength, but weakness. The apparent pedagogical effect is completely overwhelmed by long-term alienation and hostility.
- Do not try to force your son into a certain occupation or profession. By the time he makes his responsible choice, your preferences may be morally and socially outdated. The only way is to enrich the child’s interests from early childhood so that he has the widest possible choice of options and opportunities.
- Don't rely too much on the experience of your ancestors. We know little about the real history of everyday life; normative regulations and pedagogical practices have never coincided with each other. In addition, living conditions have changed greatly, and some methods of education that were considered useful before (for example, spanking) are unacceptable and ineffective today.
If you have a girl, not a boy, you can easily rephrase these simple rules as they apply to her.
Advice for parents of a 13 year old teenager
Starting from the age of 13, teenage boys can actively engage in various sports. Accordingly, they want to be better, shape their figure, so it is necessary to adjust the amount of load.
Advice for parents of a 13-year-old teenager:
- Anabolic steroids and steroids are often taken. This negatively affects the child’s health, muscle formation, and physique. During this period, active growth of muscles and bones occurs, while internal organs do not have time to grow so quickly.
- Therefore, if you exercise too much, you may experience health problems. Therefore, under no circumstances should a child be dissuaded from playing sports, but it is necessary to encourage them to adjust physical activity and not take dangerous medications.
- An example of parental misbehavior is punishing a child. Try to talk to him more and understand. After all, the child behaves badly for a reason; perhaps he is worried about something, he does not know how to behave.
In adolescence, a boy may be completely confused, not understanding what awaits next. Remember that punishment can make the situation worse. It is necessary to form trusting relationships and comfortable living conditions so that the child goes home, not like to hard labor, but to a place where you can share your problems. Try to be an example for your son.
Communication
Psychological characteristics of children
This period contributes to the manifestation of the character traits of an adult. To prove his worth, the guy uses aggressive methods of communicating with loved ones. This behavior is typical for families practicing authoritarian methods of education, pressure on the psyche, and coercion. To take his place, the boy is forced to be rude and refuse to cooperate. The opposite cases are withdrawal from communication, alienation, reluctance to talk about one’s problems, depressive behavior.
Emotions are clearly visible. Manifestations of shyness and tightness along with outbursts of anger are possible. Parents need to understand that the child’s desire to grow up is not controlled by consciousness - these are the first tests, attempts to form a personal style of behavior.
The first place is occupied by the opinion of others about the personal merits and abilities of a teenager. Experience in sports and serious interests in subjects helps. It is difficult for a boy to start doing something seriously, so it is advisable to enroll a child in clubs and additional schools earlier, so that by adolescence he already has a stock of skills that will contribute to self-affirmation.
The psychological characteristics of a child at 10 years old depend on his family authority—how interested his relatives are in his achievements and opinion. The slightest remark provokes a violent protest. The best thing parents can do is to turn a blind eye to shortcomings and praise more, even small achievements.
The desire to please girls encourages risky manipulations.
Psychology of a 14 year old boy
The most difficult relationships with a teenager are observed at the age of 13-14 years. It must be remembered that a child is a separate person, so there is no need to invest your values in him.
Psychology of a 14 year old boy:
- There is also no need to force someone to do something or follow in your footsteps. The main task of an adult is to provide freedom so that the child can choose for himself what he wants to do, who he wants to become in the future.
- The task of adults is to observe, guide, but at the same time smooth out rough edges, and also minimize the risk of dangerous situations. Pay attention to how a teenager behaves in company.
- Is he a victim of bullying or an outcast? The main difficulty is getting the boy to talk. Often at this age, guys are very secretive and are in no hurry to share their emotions.
Communication
Nutritional Features
Protein foods take first place. The child's diet is fermented milk products, vegetables, fruits. If a guy plays sports, he is entitled to increased nutrition. This is due to the growth of tissues of the skeletal system and the cardiovascular system. Lack of nutrients and building materials can lead to weakness. Children are susceptible to fractures because they are actively growing. At the same time, store-bought dairy products do not meet the requirements for nutritional value, since they are not made from whole cow's milk.
Healthy natural food is the key to future health. As the tissues form, they will work for the rest of their lives.
Teenage boy 14 years old: advice from a psychologist
The main difficulty is that now the main authority for the child is not the parents, but classmates, grown-up guys. A teenager may feel disappointed in life and not see future prospects while watching his parents.
Teenage boy 14 years old, advice from a psychologist:
- Very often guys at this age lose their incentive. They feel frustrated and threatened. Only in the company of your friends and peers can you show what you are capable of, throw out heroism, as well as aggression.
- Teenagers' problems arise due to misunderstandings in family and school. If earlier he listened to the opinions of teachers and parents, now he questions absolutely everything they tell him. The main task is to convey to the teenager that he is the culprit of the incidents and is responsible for them.
- Therefore, the choice lies solely with him. At the age of 14, a search for authority usually occurs. The boy finds himself a certain role model. Usually boys want to be like their idol, so their appearance, clothing style, and behavior change.
Alcohol
Myths and their debunking
Some parents misunderstand raising boys - and inevitably make mistakes. Here are three major myths regarding raising sons:
- The behavior of a male child is determined by physiology, and even the best education cannot cope with nature. Boys will always be aggressive, playful, play around and take risks. This is wrong. Research has proven that those children who are loved are themselves able to give love, and those who are cared for are able to show care. How a boy will behave depends, first of all, on his upbringing, and not on gender characteristics.
- Boys need to be courageous. Because of this belief, many children cannot live the life they would like, for fear of becoming the subject of ridicule and bullying by their peers. In fact, masculinity can be demonstrated in different ways; there is no need to follow generally accepted canons. A boy can cry, play “girl games”, while remaining a worthy representative of his gender. Thus, some teenagers prefer to spend time not on sports fields, but in the kitchen, creating their own culinary masterpieces, and there is nothing reprehensible or shameful about this. On the contrary, they do what they really want, realize their full potential, are happy and satisfied with themselves.
- Boys are seen as dangerous, aggressive, and prone to violence. In reality, they are sensitive, capable of empathy and helping those in need.
It is important for parents to understand their child, abandon stereotypes, and make every effort to harmoniously develop their personality; only in this case will their son grow up courageous, brave, but caring and understanding.
Psychology of a teenager 15 years old boy: advice to parents
If the boy is embarrassed by the appearance of dark hair above the lip, suggest removal. If the guy is not yet ready to use a razor, you can recommend waxing or sugaring.
Psychology of a teenager 15 years old boy, advice to parents:
- As a result of such manipulations, hair will grow much slower, and coarse stubble will not appear, which will force you to shave constantly. Also listen to the teenager’s opinion, and be sure to make an appointment with the hairdresser. At this age, all guys want to stand out from the crowd and seem cooler than their peers. Recommend a good hairdresser and offer to show the guy the haircut he wants.
- A stylish appearance significantly increases self-confidence and improves the relationship between parents and child. It is because of appearance that a large number of complexes arise. Guys often suffer from excessive hair growth.
- It is worth understanding that not everyone develops in the same way, so some of their peers will experience noticeable changes; for some, maturation occurs much later. A teenager should not feel like everyone else, special, or be criticized by their peers.
- During this period, there is a significant change in the child's behavior. This is due to a change in psychology due to a surge in hormones. The boy begins to feel like a separate person who needs to be listened to. Your main task is to establish a trusting relationship with him and listen to his opinion. You cannot talk about the fact that you are currently the breadwinner in the family, so the teenager must do what you say. This does not work and can cause aggression and separation of the child from adults.
- During this period, the boy chooses a leader for himself, as well as people whom he imitates. Most often these are not parents. He often compares himself with his peers, trying on different roles. Don’t be opposed if your child starts to dress creatively or gets piercings or strange hairstyles. This is just a search for yourself, and a way to understand your position in society. Allow the child to do what he wants, as long as it does not harm his health or life.
Communication
Basic rules of education
This section of the article contains basic rules that will help any parent establish contact with the boy and make him feel that he is respected and loved.
These principles are a direct path to the correct formation of a male personality
:
- Ask your son for advice
. And this needs to be done at any age. You will let your baby know that he is already a support for you. In addition, this will teach him to think constructively. - Never laugh at your son
. For a real man, his mother's ridicule is a situation that lowers his dignity, and this can lead to psychological trauma. If the little one did something wrong, he didn’t succeed, tell him that everything is fine and tell him how to improve the result. - Don't know how to raise a boy?
Always answer his questions . You can’t say phrases like this: “you’ll find out when you grow up,” “you’re too young to ask such questions,” etc. They kill curiosity. If you don’t know how to answer, take a break, explain to your child and be sure to look for the answer. - Don't use the phrase "I told you so!"
. You should not compete in experience and intelligence with your own son. Tell him how to do it right, to make fewer mistakes and how to achieve a better result. Do not pretend to win the dispute, try to avoid it. - Don't forget to praise the little one
. This increases self-esteem and gives a feeling of self-confidence. An excellent incentive for new achievements, achievements and actions. - Support your son in pursuing his dreams
. A man must be persistent! He must do everything in order to achieve his goals. And who, if not his mother, will support him, help him, encourage him, and set him in a positive mood? - What to do if your son cries?
If a boy cries, it does not mean that he is a weakling. This suggests that he has a serious problem or even trouble. Support and encourage the baby! - Don't lecture your son
. Don't forget that no one likes to listen to notations. And children are no exception. In the future, they will simply hide the truth from you so as not to listen to lectures for a long time. - Always be on your son's side
. Never yell at a boy for company, do not agree with people who reproach him or complain about him. Always take your son's side in public. He should feel your support. - Don't humiliate your son, especially in front of his friends
. Remember that children can be very cruel. They are not afraid to call someone a name, come up with a nickname, and sometimes even offend someone without knowing it. Therefore, you should not scold the baby in front of other children. This can be done at home, alone. - A boy must have a father
. Even if it happened that you had to separate, do not interfere with your son’s communication with his dad. - When talking with your son, try to stay on an equal footing and communicate “like an adult”
. - Involve the boy in homework
. Give him an example of his father, brother, grandfather, who are engaged in some kind of business, and they do it well. - Teach your boy to give up his seat on public transport to women and the elderly
. - Teach your son to tell the truth, no matter what it is
. He must be honest with you and not hide his failures and bad deeds. - Keep all the promises you made to your son
. And teach him the same. If he gave his word, he must keep it. - Develop the boy physically, instill in him self-discipline skills
. If a guy needs to “let off steam,” let him look for opportunities not in the yard, but in the gym. - Teach your son to overcome difficulties and endure failure
. This is how character is formed. The child must understand that any failure is an impetus for new opportunities. - Instill a sense of compassion for the sick, weak, and animals
. Your personal example is important here. - Encourage intellectual and creative development
.
The rules for raising boys are a very important aspect in the life of every family. If you stick to them, you won’t notice how your son will be frank with you and begin to trust you. And this is so important for mom!
Advice from a psychologist to parents of teenagers
It is necessary to listen to your son and accept his desire to grow up. It is worth listening to the child and making it clear that you seriously evaluate his emotions and experiences. At the age of 13, it is necessary to discuss with the boy certain problems that are considered to be adults.
Advice from a psychologist to parents of teenagers:
- It is necessary to gradually wean yourself from perceiving your son as a child. It is worth creating an atmosphere of trust in the house. That is, the father and mother must treat their child with patience and trust.
- All guys at that age should have their own space. This does not mean that it is necessary to let everything take its course and give your son complete freedom. However, it is worth remembering that the child may get tired of his surroundings.
- It's best if he has his own room and time to be alone. Teach your child to say “no.” Many guys have problems with this in their teens. They want to be like their peers, go to abandoned buildings, unfinished construction sites, or engage in dangerous pastimes at train stations.
- Often such teenagers cling to trains. Accordingly, it is necessary to convince the child that this is quite dangerous and it is not worth sacrificing your health, as well as your life, in order to seem the coolest among your peers.
Teenager
Games for younger teens
To offer an interesting game to a pre-teen child, you need to know his range of interests. You can buy board games - school subjects, business, economics, engineering, architecture.
Of particular interest are kits designed for self-assembly of aircraft, ships, architectural structures, and robots.
As an entertaining and educational activity, a guy can be offered additional education—advanced computer courses, learning foreign languages. The rule is that the child chooses the activity independently. The child must want to do a certain activity. For children who are interested in computers and games, you can offer a club in robotics, programming, and game creation so that the time spent on the laptop is not wasted. In addition, information technology is rapidly developing, so the skills may be useful in the future.
How to raise a boy without a father: advice from psychologists
Particular attention must be paid to adolescents who grow up in the company of only one mother, without a father. Very often in such families there are two extremes. The mother constantly controls the child, becomes fixated on him, and tries to take out her anger because of personal failures. Often, excessive guardianship makes a child dependent. Usually such children become objects of ridicule and bullying by their peers. They are very helpless and do not know how to stand up for themselves.
How to raise a boy without a father, advice from psychologists:
- Remember, under no circumstances should you openly express your dissatisfaction and take it out on your child. In this case, he will feel like a burden, guilty of all his mother’s problems. Typically, such teenagers withdraw and are subject to the bad influence of their peers.
- If a mother is offended by her father, she should under no circumstances turn the child against him. It is necessary to communicate with the child on equal terms, not to be a mother and father at the same time. In this case, it will be difficult for a teenager to understand what a real woman and man should be like.
- In a family where there is no father, it is necessary to find appropriate authority for the child. This could be a family friend, a cousin or uncle, or one of the relatives who often visits the family.
Communication
When does puberty begin for boys?
The first signs of the transition period in boys begin to appear at the age of 9-13 years. The age at which a boy will experience physical changes is influenced by many genetic, internal and external factors. Among these factors are: genetics, climate, general health, nationality, the presence of pathologies, etc.
Due to the abundance of different conditions, it is difficult to determine specifically when the transitional age starts and ends for boys in general. One thing is for sure, if you are attentive enough and communicate closely with your child, then you will not miss this period.
Advice for a teenage boy
Children themselves suffer from the changes that happen to them, painfully experiencing growing up.
Advice for a teenage boy:
- In order not to refuse your peers, shift the blame to your parents. Accordingly, if you are afraid to say “no”, or do not want to feel like an outcast, say what your parents forbade. This will prevent you from getting into an unpleasant situation.
- Always count to 10 if you want to say something offensive or do something unexpected.
- For facts and explanations, turn to your parents.
- Your parents were teenagers too, so don't be afraid to ask them for help.
- Choose the right and understandable words for conversations with adults. Sometimes parents don't understand youth slang.
- Maintain hygiene and cleanliness. During this period, sweating increases and acne may occur.
- Don't ignore communication with your peers. But if you don't support their hobbies, or consider their activities dangerous, go home.
- Don't shirk your homework and physical labor. This strengthens and prepares for adult life.
- Take care of your health. How you feel directly affects your appearance. At first it may seem that there is enough health for children and grandchildren, but this is not so.
- Listen to the opinions of your parents and friends, but do as you see fit.
Online correspondence
How to behave as a girl
1 Don't worry
This is an important event, but your fate does not depend on it. Even if your parents don’t like the guy, it’s up to you to decide whether to date him or not. 2 Avoid complex and drawn-out speeches
Keep it simple. For example, “Mom and dad are Seryozha - my young man.” 3 Keep the number of workpieces to a minimum. Prepared topics for conversation, memorized phrases, they cause those painful pauses in the conversation that you so want to avoid. 4 Be prepared for anything. Rest assured, the welcoming speeches will be followed by the obligatory questions. 5Smooth the corners. Feel free to change the topic if you see that someone doesn't like it. Dose humor.
Advice from a psychologist on how to help a teenager
At the age of 11-13 years there may be first attempts to try tobacco and alcohol. It is necessary to give the child freedom, but still control his circle of friends. If one of them drinks or smokes, try to gently explain to the child that this is not the best way to spend time. It is very difficult at this age to control their pastime, since they spend most of the day at school. Accordingly, at this time they can communicate with friends.
Advice from a psychologist on how to help a teenager:
- Starting from the age of nine, it is best to come up with additional activities for the child to minimize the amount of free time. It has been proven that teenagers whose time is not controlled by their parents are unoccupied and often find themselves in unpleasant situations and bad company. Conversely, children who spend almost all their free time playing sports and attending clubs are less susceptible to peer influence, since they do not have time to think about bad things.
- It is necessary for a teenager to have a hobby that calms him down and helps him achieve a state of balance. These can be mental and physical activities. Perhaps this is running your own blog or website on YouTube.
- You cannot insist and force a teenager to do something specific. He must make his own choice. Remember that the child is not a copy of you, so he is not obliged to follow the instructions. It is necessary to assign certain household responsibilities to the teenager. This could be washing the floor, cleaning rooms.
Relationships
Here you can also read advice on various topics, for example :
- How to win people over?
- How to love a man correctly?
- How to deal with stress and depression?
- Why is it important to be able to forgive people?
- My husband beats me, what should I do in this situation?
You cannot exploit a child and shift your work to him. However, a teenager must understand that he is a member of the family and has certain responsibilities. He is responsible for his actions, so he can choose what he will do.
Be an example for your child
Every child needs a role model, especially a boy. If his own father is not like that for him, it means that some serious mistake was made in his upbringing. Try to spend more time with your son and be more interested in his life and thoughts. It will almost always be useful to engage in some masculine activities with a boy, for example, go fishing, ask him for help while repairing a car, assemble an airplane from a construction set, and so on.
The more a boy feels the friendship that connects him with his own father, the better example you will become for him. To do this, you don’t need to be ideal in everything. Just approach your work and raising a child with great responsibility and always keep the word that you give to a 10-year-old boy. Disobedience in a child’s psychology must be eradicated almost completely. To do this, do not hesitate to punish him for unfinished work and praise him if he completed his homework on time.
Features of adolescence at 17-18 years old
This is the final stage of changes: puberty gradually ends, the growth rate of the spine and tissues noticeably decreases, and the craving for the opposite sex especially intensifies, because This is already a post-pubertal period of development. This period coincides with the end of school, the emergence of new responsibilities and the need for self-determination and choosing one’s path in the future. It is now that a teenager begins to recognize himself as a young man, as one of the engines of society. At this stage, it is especially important for parents to be able to talk with their child and be able to direct his thoughts in the right direction.
Transitional age at 15-16 years old
Around this time, the voice begins to break down and the timbre becomes lower. This period is characterized by the teenager’s active self-determination, the desire to demonstrate and show off his own strength, dexterity, and speed. It is at this stage that a change in moral guidelines and assessment systems begins to actively occur. The foundation of an independent personality is being built, which requires a certain life goal and aspirations. This stage of development is especially difficult from a psychological point of view; the teenager has frequent mood swings, reluctance to learn, and an excessive desire for independent life without outside interference.