7 tips for parents on how to raise an unspoiled and grateful child

We, as responsible parents, want to raise our child as prepared as possible for independent life in this unpredictable world. But let's be honest: many people by “preparing for independent living” only mean a good formal education. From an early age, the child is taught mathematics, writing, natural science and other sciences, and a little later they are sent to a strong school. Of course, all this is useful and will definitely come in handy in adulthood, but is this enough to raise an unspoiled child?

Let's count how many times have you seen smart and educated children who are fixated on themselves and who are not even interested in the opinions, desires and interests of the people closest to them? How many times have you come across intelligent children who do not value their parents at all (disrespect, rudeness, arrogance, impudence, lies)? How many times have you met excellent students who, already in adulthood, are completely dependent on their parents? Such children are often called spoiled. And the truth is that there is no such gene that could “spoil” a child. The only ones who can do this are his parents.

It is worth understanding one thing: a responsive, caring, selfless child does not turn out by chance, this is the merit of his parents alone. Because they have the key influence on the baby. Your child is a reflection of yourself. Therefore, the best advice for raising an ideal child is to be a good example for him. But if everything were so simple, then problems with education would not arise.

Here are some tips that can help you raise a generous, caring, and responsible person. Before you read them, ask yourself what character traits do you want to see in your child in a few years? Let your answers become your cherished goal, which you will pursue while raising your child.

Stop patronizing!

Good parenting is not about making sure your child is happy. It's more about teaching him how to deal with failure, rejection, mistakes and troubles.

Constantly shielding your child from anything that might cause frustration will not help him master this critical skill. This will not teach him to overcome difficulties, relying only on his own strength.

Stop patronizing your child. Give him the opportunity to learn to manage his life on his own, while mistakes are not so painful.

First period

The first stage lasts from the moment the child is born until he is three months old. During this period, parents must form good habits in the baby and prevent the emergence of harmful ones, lay the foundations of communication, and develop sensory perception. Also, during this period, parents need to properly organize their diet; this is important for normal weight gain and the formation of a habit of a diet. In the first three months, the baby should develop the following habits:

falling asleep outside without a pacifier;
hold head;
spend some time in bed, entertaining yourself;
show signs of dissatisfaction when it is necessary to change a diaper;
fall asleep without motion sickness;
navigate in space, responding to sounds and light.

Particular attention must be paid to the baby’s hygiene. Every morning should begin with a mother’s friendly smile and hygiene procedures. They consist of washing the face and hands, changing the diaper and washing. Daily procedures will form a healthy habit of cleanliness in your baby. It is unacceptable for residual urine or feces to irritate the baby's skin, so diapers should be changed every three hours. Since children's skin is very delicate, its surface is treated with cream or powder.

To form the habit of holding the baby's head, it is necessary to lay it on his tummy, even if he expresses dissatisfaction. Gradually, this procedure will become a habit for him, the muscles of his neck and back will be trained. Every day he will spend more and more time on his stomach and contemplate the world around him from a different position.

How to develop the habit of talking? In order for a child to start cooing, you need to play with him. It’s good that when the baby hears songs and nursery rhymes. Each action that is directly related to the child should be commented on, telling how to put on pants, a blouse, and how to change a diaper. When talking with your child, you should smile, this way a culture of communication will be established.

Important article: hygiene of a newborn baby

SO, the main tips and recommendations that you need to follow:

For the normal development of the child’s psyche, it is necessary to constantly talk with the baby, sing songs, tell nursery rhymes, and turn on music to listen to. For the first games with the baby, it is worth choosing toys that promote the development of sensory perception;
When the baby reaches the age of one and a half months, to strengthen physical health, it is necessary to lay the baby on his stomach every day, do exercises and massage;
An important educational point is the need to teach a child to sleep in his own crib and spend some time in it on his own. (See useful material on how to teach a child to sleep separately);
To prevent your baby from developing a bad habit in the future, do not allow him to suck his fingers.

Toys and games from 0 to 3 months

For babies up to 3 months, educational psychologists recommend toys that develop sensory, hearing, vision and coordination of movements:

Rattles, bells, bells, etc. To develop hearing, ring a rattle in one ear of the baby, then in the other. Soon the baby will begin to turn his head towards the sound source;
Bright toys made of various materials that you can grab and stroke. First, they are shown to the baby, stroked over the baby’s body, and placed in the baby’s hand. Soon the baby himself will begin to grab them and confidently hold them;
A variety of mobiles (carousels) that are attached above the baby’s crib. Toys are placed at a short distance from the baby’s eyes (about 15-20 cm). See the article about music mobiles for the crib;
Bracelet with a bell , which can be worn alternately on different hands;
A balloon that can be tied to your hand. Soon the baby will understand that the ball moves thanks to the movements of his hand;
Schematic representation of a human face . Babies love to look at such images. If you place the picture at a short distance from the baby’s eyes (approximately 25-30 cm), he will be interested in studying it while his mother is not around.

Learn to give, not just receive

Give your children the opportunity to understand that they can change lives simply by giving or doing something for other people. After all, many of them don’t even realize that this is possible.

I came across an article somewhere that said that generous children are not only less selfish and more appreciative of others, but also happier in life.

One of the best ways to protect a child from selfishness is to periodically involve him in volunteer work that does not involve material rewards.

Second period

It lasts from the third to the sixth month, during which time active sensory, auditory and visual perception and development occur. The second stage includes preparing the baby for future speech. To do this, he can play music of different genres, the main thing is that it is light and melodic. Classics, children's songs, modern pop, folk motifs - everything will do. In order for the baby to hum, babble, and squeak, his attention must be paid to other sounds. The child needs to be introduced to the world around him, drawing his attention to the rustling of leaves, the chirping of sparrows, the sound of flowing water - this is where cognition lies (for example: here is the rain knocking on the windowsill, here are the birds chirping, but here is the rumble of a tractor, etc.) .

The mental development of a child of this age begins with communication. Parents should play with the child, developing his visual, tactile and auditory perception. You should start classes with your child during a period of active wakefulness, when the child is cheerful and nothing bothers him. Otherwise, the classes will not give the expected result. The child should enjoy the activity/game, so it should be abandoned if the baby is hungry, sick or naughty. During this period, the foundations of moral and aesthetic education are laid, which the child receives through communication with adults.

The joy and love given to the baby will become the foundation for the formation of moral and aesthetic education.

Massage and exercises must be included in a child’s daily routine. During this period, exercises become more varied and prepare the baby for crawling. We recommend looking at the massage section

Toys and games for ages 3 to 6 months

All toys that were used before the age of 3 months are suitable for playing with your baby. It is worth adding to them:

Teethers and other toys for chewing and sucking, because at this time children begin to cut their first teeth (how to choose teethers);
Easy to grip ball. Already at the age of six months, a toddler can play with him, sitting in a stroller or in his mother’s arms;
Soft large cubes with various pictures on the edges. Kids are happy to grab them, toss them, and look at the pictures;
Rubber and fabric figurines of various animals . At this age, it is useful to play the game “Who does what?” with your baby. We show the dog and voice it: “woof-woof”, etc. Soon the baby himself will “name” the toy using the appropriate sounds;
Six-month-old children love to tear paper , give your baby old magazines and let him satisfy his curiosity;

A finger show will be entertaining for the little one . Put finger toys on your hands (you can buy them in the toy department or make them at home) and put on a show for your baby;
The baby begins to get to know his body. To do this, you need to show the little one and name parts of the body : eyes, ears, nose, legs, arms...

Replace "I" with "we"

Children are self-centered. They think that the world revolves only around them. They are more concerned about themselves and their own needs, and they do not pay attention to the opinions and desires of others. And in order not to allow them to become fixated only on themselves, you need to take them away from the endless “me-me-me” and teach them to think in the “we-we-we” format.

Here are some simple expressions you can use when addressing your child:

Let's ask Masha what she would like to do?
Remember, we always share!
Ask your friend what would he like to play?
Now it's your brother's turn.
Let's help mom tidy up the room.

Try to always emphasize “we”.

How to raise children correctly: advice from a psychologist to parents

Let us turn to the advice of experts who have studied the issue of raising children for many decades. They have developed a certain structure of communication with the child, which allows them to most effectively resolve most conflicts without devaluing the feelings of both parties.

How to raise a happy child without yelling and punishment: mutual respect

If you want your child to love and respect you, treat him the same way. Many psychologists argue that the foundations of future self-esteem are laid in childhood. How can a person who has been overlooked and devalued for many years discover his talents and become an outstanding person?

On top of everything else, if a person was “disliked” in childhood, then he can compensate for this himself by becoming a cynic and an egoist. This person is capable of destroying many other people's lives before he realizes how deeply his parents hurt him in childhood - this could be revenge on all people on a subconscious level. Remember that if a child feels valuable and special, then he will treat other people, and especially his parents, the same way. In this matter, the main thing is to know when to stop.

How to show respect for a child? It's simple: when he asks for help, don't refuse, but put things aside and help him finish the airplane model. Or politely ask to wait until the weekend. Children remember everything: and especially your manifestation of love for them. Reading a bedtime story, helping with a complex trigonometric equation, or chatting about the guy sitting at the next desk - any adequate attention is regarded as important to the existence of this little one as a member of the family.

Words can hurt, but they can also give a lot of warm feelings: especially words of love. And it is the affection of parents that is the key to proper upbringing of children. But how can you not spoil them? How to express your love correctly? In everything you should adhere to moderation. Remember that your love is the basis for building self-confidence. It develops the ability to set goals and achieve them. How to express your love? These don’t always have to be words, they can also be gestures: a pat on the head, a kiss on the forehead, a hug just like that.

We have already touched on the topic when parents believed that supporting their baby financially is the most important thing. However, more important than this is time, which is placed above money. Yes, you can keep him busy with various clubs and sections so that the child comes home and immediately goes to bed. However, a comprehensive education can never replace what parents provide when spending time with their child.

In adolescence, this problem can worsen: if you don’t communicate, the gap between you and your baby will only grow. In this case, psychology gives the following answer to the question of how to raise a child: the foundations should be laid in childhood.

Among other things, the parents themselves become an example for children in relationships: they almost completely copy the behavior of their mothers and fathers, almost repeating the same words and expressions.

How to raise children: whether to give freedom

If you overprotect your baby, controlling his every step, then you can raise a dependent person who will do nothing but live at your expense and constantly ask your permission with or without it.

Don’t be afraid to give your child freedom: this is how he learns from mistakes, gaining irreplaceable experience. It is freedom that can give your little person ambitions to solve impossible problems.

It also happens that mothers, too carried away by the care of their already adult child, forgot about their own husbands. This is one of the important aspects of the issue being covered. When raising children, it is important not to forget about the family and its traditions and values - after all, marriage is a union of a couple of people who love each other and are capable of raising a worthy personality.

How to properly form a child: the most important advice from a psychologist

Every parent is a role model. For him, you are a whole indestructible world, the decisions of which should not be questioned. And that's why. Suppose you forbade your child from walking on the playground today. And the next day you abruptly change your ban, without justifying it in any way. The child may think that you can be manipulated - and with his screams or tears he can change the parent’s decision.

Remember that it is important to adhere to the line you have chosen in order to build the authority of mom or dad in the eyes of the little person. Having considered how to raise small children and teenage schoolchildren, having learned the basic advice of a psychologist, we can draw a very simple conclusion: it is enough to love, appreciate, respect the child, and spend as much time with him as possible.

Types of raising a child

Parents are teachers who work seven days a week. Every action is an element of education, whether mom and dad want it or not.

Types of family education:

physical,
moral,
environmental,
intellectual,
patriotic,
gender.

Professions of the future

In 2014, the Moscow School of Management Skolkovo and the Agency for Strategic Initiatives released an almanac called “Atlas of New Professions,” which described promising industries and professions for the next 15-20 years.

According to the authors, the most in demand in the near future will be specialists in the following industries:

biotechnology;
IT medicine;
energy generation and energy storage;
nanotechnology;
cosmobiology and cosmogeology;
robotics and mechanical engineering.

In other industries, the authors of the Atlas suggest the emergence of new professions, such as cyber investigator, digital linguist, mind fitness trainer, emotion designer and other, at first glance, no less fantastic professions.

What skills and competencies should professionals in these areas have?

Third period

The third period in raising a child up to one year old covers the age from 6 to 9 months. At this stage, the toddler becomes restless and inquisitive. In children of this age, activity increases significantly. Since babies already know how to crawl, sit down, try to get up, and some even walk, it’s time to pay attention to physical training.

Give your child the opportunity to move freely around the house. To do this, it is necessary to secure all premises as much as possible (remove wires, breakable objects, household appliances). All children at this time strive to explore the contents of the cabinets. Do not interfere with the baby, just remove all dangerous objects and fill the cabinets with toys and things that the baby can play with.

For good physical shape, we continue to do exercises and massage, incorporating new movements and exercises.

You should not put your child in a walker; such devices for learning to walk are harmful to a fragile spine. All the PROS and CONS of walkers are described in this article. It's up to YOU to decide. The debate over walkers will never end.

At this stage, you can begin to potty train your child by sitting him down after sleep and feeding, before and after a walk. After some time, the child will understand why this is being done. We are reading a very useful article about how to properly potty train – https://razvitie-krohi.ru/razvitie-rebenka-do-goda/kak-priuchit-rebenka-k-gorshku.html

From about seven months, a child should be taught to wash their hands before eating. After some time, the baby will get used to this procedure and will independently place its hands under the running water. This is how the concept of cleanliness is developed.

By putting on a bib before feeding and immediately changing soiled clothes to clean ones, mom instills the habit of neatness. Moreover, parents must pronounce and explain each of their actions: walking around in dirty things is ugly and indecent, so now we are changing into clean clothes.

Teach your baby to eat with a bib, explaining why this item is needed. Wash your little one's hands before eating; this will eventually develop into a good habit.

After six months, children begin to teethe. To take care of the oral cavity, you need to purchase a special toothbrush for your baby, intended for children under one year old, and teach the little toothbrush to use it daily.

Play activities for a child are important at any age, not excluding the age up to one year. This is how kids learn about the world. From six months you can already show your baby palms and a bell, commenting on each movement. From seven to eight months they demonstrate how the simplest toys work: a ball rolls, the wheels of a car spin, a spinning top spins in one place. At the same time, you can begin to show parts of the face: nose, eyes, teeth, ears, forehead. Of course, understanding will not come immediately; first, children will find them from their parents and toys, and only then from themselves. You can come up with a simple song to which your child will be happy to demonstrate his knowledge. You need to work with children of this age every day.

At this stage, it is necessary to introduce the child to the words “no” and “impossible” . If a child fights while playing, you need to take his hands and say the word “no” with explanations (it hurts, I feel unpleasant). It is necessary to explain the reason so that the child learns to react to the forbidden word, otherwise he simply will not notice it.

Read an article on the topic: how to tell a child NOT to

Regarding the word “impossible”, look at the video:

Starting from 6 months, the child actively develops his first speech skills. Read poems and nursery rhymes to your baby, look at pictures, play little shows with toys, constantly talk to your child kindly and affectionately, without distorting the correct pronunciation of words.

Toys and games for ages 6 to 9 months

Pay attention to the new educational toys:

Musical centers that develop auditory attention and coordination of movements. Often such toys voice various animals, musical instruments, etc. Show your baby how to press the buttons, he will quickly master the toy and play with it for a long time;
Musical toys (pipe, xylophone, drum) help develop coordination of movements and auditory perceptions;
Play centers for developing fine motor skills . Your little one will be happy to manipulate and study different shaped figures;
Books made of fabric, plastic, cardboard will help develop understanding of speech, fine motor skills and cognitive interest;
Bath toys . Ducks, boats, fish - these swimming animals develop cognitive abilities and motor skills (how to choose bath toys);
Almost all children of this age enjoy playing in the kitchen with dishes . Share plastic containers, spoons, ladles, and molds with your baby.

What is raising a child?

Raising a child is the comprehensive development and education of a child in accordance with individual personal characteristics.

Tasks of family education:

Create a favorable psychological family climate for the physical, intellectual, moral development of the child.
Ensure the protection and safety of the child.
Teach self-care skills and interaction with people and animals.
Convey personal and social experience.
To form social activity and resistance to harmful environmental factors.

The principles of humanity, trust, openness, systematic requirements, and joint activities of parents and children help solve problems.

The main qualities of a successful person

To be successful in any of these areas, a person must possess a number of necessary qualities. Here are 10 competencies of the future, the development of which will help a child become a sought-after specialist:

The ability to independently reason and analyze without using ready-made template solutions; Possession of critical thinking.
The ability to defend one’s own point of view, even when in the minority, to present compelling arguments.
Stress resistance, adequate reaction to losses and failures, the ability to draw the right conclusions based on them.
Communication skills, the ability to find an approach to any person, evaluate his strengths and weaknesses.
Developed emotional intelligence.
Mobility, quick response to changing conditions.
Ability to multitask and plan your actions competently.
Commitment to development and personal growth.
Mental and physical health, positive attitude towards a healthy lifestyle.
Creative approach, ability to make non-standard decisions, creativity.

Style name	Description
Family idol	The child’s whims are indulged, his personality is placed at the head of the table. Permissiveness and admiration create overvaluation and selfishness.
Cinderella	The child is punished and a lot is demanded of him. This style provokes low self-esteem and the formation of aggression.
Overprotection	Excessive care that deprives the child of independence, mistakes, and personal experience. Overprotection is more common in mothers than in fathers.