Reality affects us in different ways. We sympathize with the person who has been “broken by life.” Maybe everything went wrong when he didn’t get into university, or broke up with his beloved, or lost his apartment in a casino. And thirty years later he still hasn’t recovered.
And even if we deep down understand that constantly drinking is not a very effective way to get into a rut, we still somehow justify the guy. Life is cruel, what can you do?
Other people somehow recover from traumatic events. Yes, they, too, can become depressed, quit their jobs, and irritate those around them for six months with an invariably sad face. But then they still start working, going on dates and even laughing sometimes.
Sometimes we get upset because of a mere trifle: we had a fight with a friend, we crashed a car... Then some grandfather always appears with a demonstration of his former power: “When I was your age, I walked 30 km! At night. On the ice. With a bucket of potatoes and a crossbow! And I didn’t cry!” This is presented as a great achievement - not whining. Maybe our ancestors were better than us? They fought for their homeland, worked in the construction brigade, stood in lines, and no one thought of calling them the “generation of snowflakes.”
But from a psychological point of view, not crying does not mean having armor. First, you walk cheerfully in the cold with potatoes for years, and then suddenly you fall into hysterics because a match has broken. (It’s still better not to tell grandpa about this.)
It is easier for psychologically stable people to cope with the vicissitudes of fate, stress and matches. This is a very important parameter in the life of a modern person.
In a world of high speeds, crazy movements and 24/7 communication with the office, the ability to take a punch or quickly recover if you miss a left hook is priceless.
Characteristics of suggestibility
Photo by Anfisa Eremina: Pexels
Suggestibility is susceptibility to environmental influences and the willingness to accept someone else’s opinion as one’s own. A suggestible person very quickly adopts the habits of those around him, adapts to their mood and is inclined to imitate.
Children and older people are easily suggestible. During illness, a person can be pushed to do things that he would never have dared to do under normal conditions. A typical example of suggestibility: a conflict occurred in front of several people.
A week later, one of the participants, who has the makings of a leader, described her as serious and very unpleasant, while the rest felt that the quarrel was caused by annoying little things that were not worth discussing. The suggestible person, having listened to the point of view of a more authoritative participant, quickly agrees with him. Another non-obvious but striking example of suggestible behavior is yawning. It is possible that having read up to this point, you yawned.
A suggestible person is easy to persuade into an adventure; he does not notice the manipulations and is used to doing what he is told. He doesn’t ask unnecessary questions and is convinced of the sincerity of his intentions. The degree of suggestibility is different for everyone and depends on situational and personal factors:
Who are Highly Sensitive People?
- close environment,
- gender and age,
- status in society
- place of residence (city residents are less trusting than residents of villages),
- fears, phobias and triggers.
The higher the intelligence, the more a person analyzes everything that happens, and the more difficult it is to convince him. The degree of suggestibility is not established at birth. At different times in your life you may be more or less inclined to be influenced. Your temperament plays an important role: introverts usually keep a distance between themselves and others and do not allow anyone to quickly gain trust.
Middle-aged men are difficult to suggest because they have quite strong psychological attitudes that cannot be changed instantly. Women have a more mobile psyche, they are easier to convince and deceive. Especially in a situation where her child is in danger.
There is an opinion that people with high suggestibility are more talented. They have a flexible psyche, are able to adapt to circumstances, are non-conflict, quickly perceive and assimilate new information and are easy to train. The disadvantages of suggestible people include the fact that they depend on the assessment of others, do not know how to accept criticism, and can be twisted into ropes with the help of praise. They believe in the selfless intentions of strangers and easily fall into the hands of scammers and charlatans.
Who can be considered an ambivert?
If the character traits of yourself or those close to you are not so clear, you feel inconsistency in them, and tests cannot determine the exact personality type, then try to figure it out now. Here are some signs that ambiverts have:
- Sociability. This person is easy to get to know. Communication is a natural interaction for him with people around him. He is able to listen carefully to his interlocutor, and not just create an appearance.
- Dedication. Ambiverts are responsive, always ready to support or help. This means that they are very good friends who value their surroundings.
- Creative beginning. Thinking through all the details of a difficult project, finding an extraordinary solution - these qualities are also characteristic of this type of personality. Ambiverts are often creative and talented. He is able not only to come up with a brilliant thing, but to bring it into reality.
- Calm. He adequately assesses the balance of power. He will remain silent where necessary, and if possible, he will make the final decision himself. A calm, reasonable ambivert will not “rush into battle” unless absolutely necessary. He will analyze all the consequences, evaluate possible options, and only then choose a reasonable direction.
- Intuition. It is quite difficult to deceive them, since they feel betrayal on an intuitive level. They are wary of an “unverified” person. Those people in whom they feel trust become friends.
- Responsibility. An ambivert does not need “controllers” or “prompts”. He independently chooses the path and purposefully moves towards the goal. Rarely asks for help. This happens if the situation is truly at a critical level.
- Delicacy. There is no tendency towards vulgarity or intrusiveness observed in them. Rather, they are tactful and delicate. Ready to communicate, but will never put pressure on a person. We are glad to have open, trusting contact.
These qualities are characteristic of many individuals to varying degrees, but in ambiverts they are perfectly combined with each other. Inconsistency, pliability, a penchant for humor, insight, some detachment and adaptability can manifest themselves in any action, deed, or conversation.
What is suggestibility?
The level of suggestibility depends on whether a person is accustomed to receiving information from the outside or is forced to do so under the influence of circumstances. Increased suggestibility is typical for people:
- poorly educated,
- with mental disorders,
- prone to anxiety and hysteria.
Easy suggestibility manifests itself in certain situations:
- under the influence of alcohol,
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- under stress
- due to fatigue and lack of time.
With an individual, everything is simple and clear, but there is also group suggestibility based on the “crowd effect.” This is how a close-knit group of people behaves under the control of a leader, for example, let’s remember the notorious citizen with a mustache, where each participant is in a similar emotional state and is part of one large mechanism.
Information from the outside is perceived as if the person is under hypnosis. It doesn't sound very positive, but in fact, there's nothing wrong with it. At certain moments in life, everyone is influenced by the crowd:
- group in kindergarten,
- classroom,
- working team,
- master classes and sections.
Professional activities of ambiverts
- Freelancer. Remote work does not set strict boundaries and does not limit the space of activity. The main advantage of this profession is the ability to freely manage time. You can take a break at any time to regain your strength.
- Organizer. The penchant for creativity is well realized in the organization of exhibitions, holidays, concerts, and business meetings.
- Supervisor. An ambivert is able to make the right choice when recruiting personnel. Relationships in such a team quickly improve. Employees organically join a ready-made team, show their best sides, and achieve impressive results.
- Writer. The analytical mind of such a person can process a huge amount of information, draw interesting conclusions, and then offer the reader a work of the highest quality.
- Official. A high political position will be quite achievable if you choose this path. The ability to listen to their opponents, present reasonable arguments, and solve global problems is given to an ambivert without any particular problems. Voters trust him.
- Diplomat. Intuition and the ability to negotiate will easily advance an ambivert through the ranks if he has a desire to make a diplomatic career. They know how to speak clearly and clearly, without unnecessary words.
- Social worker. The ability to be compassionate will help you perform routine and not always pleasant duties with full dedication. Working with a low-income population can hardly be called heroic. But it’s nice to think that life is not in vain.
Of course, professions for ambiverts are not limited to this list. He may choose a different activity. These examples are for people with high adaptive abilities; here you can express yourself most fully. But it also happens that an ambivert does not know how to understand his purpose in life and find himself, and for this there are various tests and exercises.
How susceptible are you to suggestion?
A girl susceptible to suggestion blindly follows the advice of others, even if she initially wanted to do something differently. Sometimes she herself does not notice how quickly her point of view changes, and can look comical: a person who does not have his own opinion does not deserve the trust of others.
The portrait of a suggestible person looks something like this:
- timid, trusting;
- vulnerable to criticism, eager to please others;
- with low self-esteem and a set of complexes;
- anxious, nervous, emotional;
- unsure of one's own abilities, needing approval;
- lacking critical thinking;
- suffering from depression, prone to apathy;
- needing a mentor;
- lacking initiative, doubting the correctness of his actions;
- avoiding attention.
Photo by Min An: Pexels
Despite the fact that the list of characteristics paints an image of an unbalanced person with an unstable psyche, some traits are common to everyone, and there is nothing wrong with that. You encounter suggestion more often than you think. For example, imagine a situation: early in the morning you are getting ready for work, your spouse tells you that it is raining outside. What will your actions be?
a) You will take an umbrella and leave the house;
b) You go to the window and check how heavy the rain is and whether there is any point in having an umbrella.
If you chose the first option, it means that your degree of suggestibility is at a high level. In fact, you don't know for sure whether you need an umbrella or not. Of course, you can argue that your spouse has no reason to deceive you, but this is exactly how the system of suggestion works. If you can see from a person that he is lying, it will not even occur to you to listen to his advice. The apparent normality inspires confidence.
What is mental toughness
Disasters, accidents, illnesses, financial failures, late-night conversations with the wife and other stressors may or may not pull the rug from under us. Our reaction to experience (which, as we know, is the son of difficult mistakes) serves as an indicator of this very stability. Psychologists draw an analogy with the physical properties of materials. Let’s imagine that our psyche has elasticity, that is, it quickly returns to its original state after deformation, and no traces or wounds remain on it. Hop - and the jelly again took the shape of a flower. Let's take strength. In physics (hello, strength of materials!) this is the ability to resist destruction and disintegration under the influence of external loads. We put a whole truck on the jack - but the device was fine, it worked. Or plasticity, when the physical body changes shape, but does not tear or break. Plasticine is now not a ball, but a cake, but it has not lost its green viscous essence.
How to deal with suggestibility
Increased suggestibility will not allow you to become the mistress of your life. It is unlikely that you will be able to build a good career if you rely on the opinions of your colleagues and humbly wait for your turn to speak in the corner of the meeting room. A strong, happy marriage can also be at risk.
A suggestible person is a favorite victim of manipulators and abusers. You can be kind, sweet and friendly, but what good is that if you are used for personal gain? How you can help yourself:
Photo by Mikhail Nilov: Pexels
- develop critical thinking;
- Before you make a promise, especially if it concerns financial issues, take time to think;
- fact checking is your friend, don’t be lazy to check information;
- focus on facts, not on feelings and assumptions;
- Be wary of new people in your environment.
A suggestible person is receptive to any information from the outside and looks like a potential victim. Sometimes, when placed in a supportive environment, increased sensitivity can lead to improved self-esteem and behavior, but a good outcome is unlikely. Suggestible people are more likely than others to find themselves in unfavorable conditions, succumbing to negative influences.
Rapport
Rapport
(from English
rapport
) is a state of resonance, which in psychology and NLP is called mutual understanding, emotional and intellectual unity. Simply put, people in a state of rapport swim on the same wavelength.
The “Creating Rapport” technique is the conscious and controlled creation of mutual resonance for specific purposes.
The consequence of this surfing together will be trust. Its presence always correlates with how similar a person is to us: the more you reflect me, the more I trust you. After all, who do we trust most wholeheartedly? Of course, to ourselves.
Rapport is achieved in only one way - by adjusting to another person or group of people.
Tuning in NLP
is a tool through which we achieve rapport with the right people. By adjusting, we seem to coordinate the rhythms, tempos, parameters of another or others, entering into resonance with him/her and tuning into the same wavelength. We are becoming alike.
We all make adjustments from time to time, and some even live by it (extreme conformism). We get to know a person, we want to get along with him, and now we sit like him, wave our hands like him, talk with the same volume and speed. Without intent, on autopilot.
In other words, in NLP, to adapt means to become like another person in order to induce a state of rapport and gain trust.
Management: how to manage the condition of others
We are afraid of being different. But if we become the same, the fear will go away (c) Tokyo Ghoul: Rebirth
Having created a conscious rapport with a person through adjustment, that is, one “I” for two, you become able to direct the person where you need him to go. You can gradually change a person’s state and behavior and lead him or her. Why would that be so? This is because the other person, having entered a comfortable state of rapport with you, will want to maintain it. In this regard, if you begin to change your behavior, the person will most likely follow you.
Cynical, but typical: the main purpose of rapport is to lead a person along.
Look at the example of Sergei Shnurov. It is clear to any sensible person who follows Shnurov’s work to some extent that he is a fairly intelligent and educated person, and with his ridicule he appeals to high moral values. In his interviews and social networks, he often mentioned his interest in philosophy and classical literature. The question arises, why then does he behave like an inveterate alcoholic?
It's simple: this is how he adapts to that large audience whose views and principles he actually wants to change. He was able to create rapport and lead. After all, as we remember, to change the system, you need to be in it
Rapport relaxes, reduces alertness, you no longer need to defend yourself, because next to you is “your” person. It is those people with whom we develop this trust that are able to strongly influence us, our thoughts and actions.
Of course, many manipulators and deceivers take advantage of this. I can’t count how often people lent huge sums of money and transferred their apartments to people they barely knew. But what can you do, a knife can also be used in different ways.
