“Or maybe we’re just not right for each other?” Spouses ask a psychologist this question when they enter into a crisis in family relationships. The question is serious if you understand that a spouse is a person whom we deliberately choose from hundreds of other people in order to live a long and happy life with.
A crisis in the family can begin at any moment, no matter whether you have lived together for five, ten or twenty years. This is a moment that spouses often fear because it disrupts their sense of security and makes changes to their smoothly running lives. However, this is an integral part of any long-term relationship.
What are the main causes of family crisis? How do its symptoms appear? How to survive a crisis? About this and much more in today’s article.
Content:
- What is a crisis in family relationships? Conflicts in relationships - what do we argue about and why?
- Stages of relationships in couples
- Stages of family crises
- Periodization of family crises
- Year 1 crisis
What is a crisis in family relationships?
Let's start with the fact that relationships in a married couple are not only about “butterflies in the stomach” and impatiently waiting for a moment alone. This is both joy and sadness. Clouds appear on the horizon as often as the sun! “Storms in a teacup” are inevitable.
Unfortunately, often because of fear of change, because of the desire to control or change our partner, we worsen the state of the relationship, and, consequently, the quality of life. A turning point is coming - a crisis.
To understand the cause of the crisis, it is important to know how people pair up, what unconscious games they play with each other, and what defines a good relationship.
Swiss psychoanalyst Jürg Willi, who worked with couples for many years, formulated three signs of a well-established relationship:
1. External and internal separation
The couple has clear boundaries with each other’s external and internal world. In addition, each of the partners is an autonomous unit, does not merge with the other and does not cling to the partner.
2. Balance in relationships
The roles of the partners are not polarized; there is a balance between the “childish” (regressive) and “adult” (progressive) behavior of each person in the relationship. Partners take turns supporting each other and getting a return.
3. Equality of partners
Partners have a sense of equal importance to each other in the relationship, and they have similar personal and social values.
Relationships begin to change when conflicts arise.
Conflicts in relationships - what do we argue about and why?
The couple seems to argue about different things, such as responsibilities, how to spend time, money, children, sex. However, if you take a closer look at the conflicts of a particular couple, you will find that they occur around different versions of the same, more general theme . Typically, these are caring, admiration, appreciation, control or dependence. Each conflict in a couple is accompanied by the same hidden motive, the same melody in the background, not necessarily heard by the partners (they do not realize that they are fighting, for example, for attention or care, and not for how to spend their free time) .
With the advent of a partner in our lives, we immediately turn to our hidden desires and needs, which this new person must satisfy. These incompletely formulated and unconscious needs become an important part of the relationship, influencing in the near future the feeling of satisfaction or disappointment from being in the relationship.
Partners expect understanding and support in development from each other. Development does not occur if both follow rigid patterns developed in childhood. Someone who has always had to be strong, independent and incapable of showing weakness can become close to a person whose every step towards independence has been difficult. For some time, this arrangement may seem ideal (the partners give each other what they lack), and can bring satisfaction to both.
Difficulties arise when one of the partners wants to develop that part of themselves that previously “belonged” to the other . For example, a dependent partner begins to become independent, and the one who needed his dependence is not ready for change. Therefore, partners often say that their relationship was happy before “a child appeared in the family, the wife changed jobs, the husband was promoted, the mother-in-law did not interfere,” and for many other reasons. The activating event triggered needs that had hitherto been hidden unconsciously. The seemingly ideal relationship begins to fall apart at the seams. Now, the couple is dealing with a marital quarrel and an inability to find a way out of the problem.
Stages of relationships in couples
Relationships in a couple go through two stages:
Infatuation Stage
Often the decision to enter into a relationship is made at the stage of “chemical” infatuation with another person: falling in love triggers certain chemical reactions in the brain. We do not notice the weaknesses of our partner, we idealize him, and we enter into marriage partially unconsciously. This stage is characterized by ups and downs, but often a great desire to compromise and the joy of living together.
Disillusionment Stage
One day we begin to wonder: why did we choose this particular person? Everyday routine dominates the relationship, thoughts of breaking up come. Paying bills, communicating with relatives, cleaning and the usual routine of life at this stage can lead to marital quarrels. Various challenges and problems are always a test of endurance. Over time, we learn to appreciate another person's strengths and efforts and overlook minor weaknesses.
Stages of family crises
Family life is associated with the stages that a family goes through in its development. Each stage is accompanied by a crisis. As a result of the resolution of the crisis, the spouses can save the family, or they can separate:
- The first year of a family's life. At this time, the formation of internal family resources occurs.
- Birth of the first child. Emotional connections within the family are restructured, and new responsibilities appear.
- The birth of the second and subsequent children. At this stage, the restructuring of emotional connections continues, and transitional stages of children’s development also occur.
- The arrival of a new family member. This could be the appearance of parents, other relatives in the family, or the departure of one of the family members. Reorganization of the family system is often perceived as a negative phenomenon for the family, as it disrupts its homeostasis. It can occur at any stage of family development.
- The child's admission to school. Navigating a new path, gaining higher knowledge, new interactions is stressful for both children and parents. The stage lasts about a year.
- Identification of a teenager. The stage is characterized by the child’s desire for high status among peers. The process of separation from parents and gaining personal experience often lead to family conflicts.
- The “empty nest” stage. Isolation/separation of adult children and experiences associated with family restructuring change family goals and values.
- Death of a family member. Causes shock if the event was unpredictable or completely unexpected for family members.
- Disorder of emotional relationships. This crisis can arise at any stage of family development, for example, against the backdrop of a protracted conflict.
Periodization of family crises
Scientists have studied changes in relationships for years. The beginning is always promising. However, surveys of thousands of people have shown that the idyll usually ends after about three years, that is, when the couple enters their fourth year of marriage, and the greatest test comes in the seventh year of marriage.
Character Education
Let's continue the topic started in the previous paragraph. Any conflicts are good because they educate us. With the right attitude towards the situation, we develop, change for the better and gain useful experience. In this sense, any crisis is only beneficial.
It seems to me that the approach is: “This is who I am. Accept it as it is!” - not very wise. It’s one thing when “that” is a balanced, friendly and happy woman. Then we are accepted without categorical statements. Otherwise, such statements will not change anything.
Who feels good next to an arrogant and hysterical person? Not a single mentally healthy person. And instead of working with qualities that are clearly interfering with her life, such a woman proudly awaits “acceptance”...
Conclusion: we educate ourselves, learn from others, develop useful qualities, work with problematic ones. And we thank fate for its invaluable lessons.
Family crises by year
Year 1 crisis
Blinded by love, we do not see our partner's shortcomings. I want to spend every minute together. Whether it's love at first sight or a feeling that continues to develop, we are so focused on each other that we don't see the world outside of the relationship.
But the period of first admiration passes, we return to a normal rhythm, and suddenly it turns out that our ideal is scattering socks around the apartment. The girl was waiting for a “prince on a white horse,” but in the end she had a “teddy bear” lying on her sofa and watching a football match. Prose of life. Which, however, can effectively spoil the love atmosphere.
Possible causes of the crisis: discrepancy between the ideal and the real person, improper division of household responsibilities, living together with parents, financial problems, boredom, the birth of the first child.
Crisis 3 years in marriage
There comes a day in the life of every couple when partners recognize each other's relatives and friends. They are often the cause of misunderstandings. “How can she consult her mother on every issue?” “How can he afford to go out with friends whose only desire is to relax on the weekend with beer?” In the absence of experience of family life, it is difficult to understand that the mother-in-law, being older and wiser, gives valuable advice, and a friend, who, at first glance, has no other entertainment than the aforementioned drinking beer, is, in fact, a cheerful and reliable person.
In addition, after 2-3 years of living together, we begin to notice each other's shortcomings. We point out mistakes. We feel the need to be with other people. We want to spend time apart sometimes. This is a natural stage of any relationship. This is a good time to learn the art of compromise, learn to accept flaws and respect needs.
Possible reasons for the crisis: different interests, fading feelings, a problem with living space, career growth of one of the partners.
Childbirth crisis
This is usually the first major crisis. The first years of marriage are marked by the birth of a child, and the decision to expand the family is a test for the relationship. Despite the happiness that a child gives, a young parent must come to terms with the fact that his life will be turned upside down for some time. You have to finally grow up in order to be responsible not only for yourself, but also for your family.
The first changes are felt already during pregnancy. A woman’s body is changing, a new life is born in her - both for her and for him this may be a reason to refrain from intimate relationships. Immediately after childbirth, sex ceases to exist for a while; the priority for young parents is sleep. We lose patience, get tired, start to worry more, and feel rejected. We feel like our life is falling apart.
Usually at this stage we blame each other for a lack of responsibility. Men feel abandoned and unwanted and begin to doubt the meaning of marriage. Unfortunately, it is at this stage that the first betrayals most often occur, and relationships are filled with resentment, jealousy and rivalry.
Crisis 5 years in marriage
As we approach five years of marriage, we argue more and more. On average, according to statistics, 2.7 hours per week (for comparison - 1.2 hours at the beginning of the relationship). Sex is no longer a priority. We have less and less time and opportunities for pleasant moments for two. About 70% of couples admit that their partner's behavior and habits, which were previously considered harmless or even cute, begin to bother them. This is the time when we look at our companion, see all the shortcomings that we had not noticed before and experience shock: am I sharing my life with the right person? Or maybe I was wrong?
Possible causes of the crisis: lack of romance, affairs on the side, stagnation in the development of the partner as a person, lack of children.
Crisis of the 7th year of marriage
Do you know what Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt, Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher have in common with millions of other couples around the world? The crisis that struck them after seven years of marriage. In a study commissioned by Pure Romance, interesting data was obtained. One thousand Americans who had been married for twenty years indicated that the seventh year was the hardest for them.
“Scattered socks,” along with thousands of small conflicts, are becoming a problem that is increasingly difficult to overcome. According to respondents, controversial issues include money (about 50%), division of household chores (31%), sex (16%) and legal issues (13%). Here are four main reasons for misunderstandings that lead to conflicts.
Crisis of 9 years or crisis of achievements in professional activity
A crisis occurs when feelings compete with the desire to make money. Most often, the man takes responsibility for maintaining the family. He ceases to be romantic, he has no time, he is overtired and exhausted. The woman takes care of the house, does the shopping and raises the children. Boredom, monotony and lack of passion creep into life.
Possible causes of the crisis: sexual dissatisfaction, indifference and lack of emotions, different environments, routine and everyday life, a change in the social status of one of the spouses and career growth.
Midlife crisis – 13-15 years together
As our children grow up and our professional situation stabilizes, we begin to think about our attractiveness. We try to prove to ourselves that we are still young and interesting, and we seek confirmation of value from members of the opposite sex.
Possible causes of the crisis: prolonged depression or burnout, new connections and change of environment, change of job, beginning of aging (dissatisfaction with oneself, partner), change of interests.
Risks of divorce and marital experience by year
1-2 years after wedding – high level of risk
This is the moment when betrayal occurs in a poorly chosen marriage. It is easier for spouses to get a divorce during this period than to be stuck in an unhappy relationship. After all, if something doesn’t work, it’s easier to quit, leave and start over.
According to the online publication Fatherly, up to 20% of marriages break up in the initial period. At the same time, men cheat more often in the first year of marriage - women come to cheat later.
3-4 years after marriage – average risk level
Couples decide to have children on average 2-4 years after marriage (although, of course, some want to have them immediately or within a year). However, having children does not guarantee stability. Relationships in a couple change greatly, attention switches from the partner to the offspring, which causes stress. Therefore, the quality of marriage may decrease during this period.
5-8 years after marriage – high level of risk
The period when satisfaction with the relationship begins to decline significantly. According to statistics, most marriages break up after 5-8 years of marriage. If the couple has not divorced during this time, this may be due to the high pace of life or the length of legal proceedings, although the decision to break up may simply be postponed “until better times.”
9-15 years after marriage – low risk
After 9 years of marriage, the likelihood of divorce gradually decreases. Psychology proves that this period is the least dangerous for couples - age plays a big role. During this time, we get used to our new life, focus on family and even career. This is the moment when the quality of the relationship definitely improves. The reason, among other things, is that the children are already grown up.
16-20 years after marriage – average risk level
A turning point in the family life of many people. Assuming that the average person gets married between the ages of 25 and 30, we reach 20 years of marriage experience before we turn 50. Divorce at that age is common these days. After their 50th birthday, partners are also looking for alternatives. This often happens if family has so far been more important than self-realization.
15-19 years old
Peak - 15 years (crystal wedding).
a brief description of
This crisis has a specific name - empty nest syndrome. By this age, children go to school, join the army, start their own families, and get a job. In a word, they begin to build their own lives and become independent. The couple, who may have been held together by children all these years, feels abandoned and lonely. It may turn out that they no longer have common interests. Such a discovery often leads to divorce even at this age.
Causes:
- children leaving the family;
- emptiness in the house and emptiness in the soul;
- lack of common interests;
- loss of attraction to each other;
- Each spouse lives a separate life.
How to improve relationships
- Talk to each other.
- Find new common ground.
- Joint efforts to help children arrange their new lives.
- Go on a long trip abroad together.
- Let's start realizing the dreams of our youth together.
- Do not stoop to mutual reproaches.
- Have another child.
Universal advice. As a rule, by this time people achieve a certain financial independence. Take advantage of this. Make your spouse's dream come true. Buy him an expensive watch that he has always dreamed of, or a ticket to travel around the world. This will allow both to understand that life is not over: on the contrary, it’s time to start living for yourself.
How to recognize the first crisis in a relationship?
The first family crisis begins to develop when partners mentally and physically distance themselves, when problems arise in everyday communication. Spouses talk less and less about their needs, expectations or fears. Communication is often limited to topics of shopping or raising children, exchanging short sentences such as “buy milk after work,” “pick up the kids from school.” At the same time, a man and a woman are physically distant from each other and do not want tenderness and intimacy.
Over time, minor weaknesses of the partner, which were not important before, begin to irritate. We begin to point out mistakes, look at our partner critically, and focus on the little things.
The benefits of distancing
It is a mistake to believe that the correct actions to improve relationships are over-activity in expressing love feelings and surrounding the partner with maximum care. During a crisis, all this is just annoying...
If there is a feeling that feelings are fading and there is no confidence in a future together, we switch to friendly distancing mode.
What does this look like in practice? Like the golden mean in a relationship - don’t throw yourself at your partner, but don’t boycott him, which sometimes only makes the woman feel worse - after all, men can more easily endure prolonged silence. Therefore, we communicate calmly, friendly and restrained with our partner. But at the same time we keep our distance...
How to measure the depth of a crisis in a relationship?
The simplest and fastest way to measure a crisis is time. How long does the conflict last? How long has there been no intimacy or sex? If conflict periods last no more than two weeks, then, as a rule, there is no crisis; if longer, then it’s worth thinking about.
It is dangerous if in a relationship, instead of admiration and respect, contempt for your partner appears, when you cannot find in yourself anything but resentment and regret, when instead of understanding and patience there are only demands and resentments. In this case, your relationship is also in crisis. The earlier this all started, the deeper the crisis.
Crisis is often measured by the degree of indifference of spouses. In marital conflict therapy, psychologists don't worry so much about clarifying relationships, because this is usually a signal that the couple is still fighting for each other. Much worse is the complete lack of interest in your partner and his world.
Common problems in modern marriages and couples
Family relationships have changed over the past few decades. Together with them, the scope of what is permitted has undergone changes, restrictions have been erased, and the rules of behavior between spouses have become a thing of the past. Young people have more options for building their personal lives. They are not too afraid of divorce a year or several years after the wedding. And children are no longer a “slower”, as they used to be in traditional families.
What problems most often lead to crises?
Unstructured communications
Often the problem in communication is not an inability to understand another point of view, but an unwillingness to accept that others have a right to have their own opinion. In many relationships, people focus on defending their vision without being too interested in what their partner thinks.
Unresolved past problems
Obviously, a person who grew up in a conflict environment will react to disagreements differently than a person who grew up in a calm family. Moreover, conflicting partners often formulate a strategy for their own family relationships. Communication in such families usually does not lead to the development of reasonable decisions.
Unfulfilled Expectations
One of the saddest things about couples' problems is the emergence of disappointment due to unfulfilled expectations that partners had for each other and for the relationship. We often know what we want. However, our partner does not always understand our needs. The most unpleasant situation arises when we ourselves do not know well the nature of our expectations, but we expect our partner to guess them and realize them.
Sex and intimacy
Problems with sex are one of the most common problems in a partnership or marriage. Problems in this area can also be a signal of disturbances in other areas of the relationship. If hostility and insecurity dominate daily interactions, it is difficult to expect a successful sex life.
Resentment
Resentment kills relationships. The turning point in therapy for family problems is the discovery of unconscious or unspoken regrets and grievances. Each partner becomes responsible for determining their role in the emergence of these emotions, as well as for the actions that they must take to change the situation and overcome the crisis.
Infidelity
This is the most common reason for loss of trust and sense of security. Cheating is considered a peculiar consequence of problems in relationships. Happy and satisfied partners rarely look for satisfaction in other relationships. Betrayal is intended to improve well-being or get rid of problems in the family.
The above-mentioned problems have dominated in recent years and are becoming increasingly universal. But each of them has potential that can be used to restore relationships.
If you notice that something important is missing in your relationship, think about what you yourself bring to it? Feelings of dissatisfaction and disappointment are certainly not conducive to achieving the best results. And investing our energy in relationships gives us a chance to heal them and improve their quality.
How to overcome a crisis in a relationship?
Difficulties such as job loss, illness, financial problems are events that can end in two ways: we can become closer, support each other in a difficult situation, or begin to distance ourselves. When disagreements appear more often, we begin to think about breaking up, we want to run away, we lose the strength to fight, and we give up.
What you should do at the first stage of a crisis is to think about yourself, your needs, behavior, emotions and feelings towards your partner. Relax. A crisis is not a scam. This is not a fire, there is time to figure everything out.
Analyze your relationships
- Do you want to be in a relationship with this person? If yes, move on to the next question.
- Remember what you were like at the beginning of your relationship. What has changed and why?
- What dreams and plans did you have, what was successful and what was not realized?
- Write down on a piece of paper everything that, in your opinion, your partner lacks for the ideal. For example, he doesn’t strive to earn money, he’s put on weight, he’s always tired, he doesn’t hug you, doesn’t bring you breakfast in bed, doesn’t give you flowers, doesn’t invite you to restaurants, etc.
Is the list ready? Now look at how many of the above you yourself do not do in relation to your partner and yourself. How often do you worry about his well-being, touch him, kiss him, look into his eyes? Do you take care of yourself regularly? When was the last time you showed any family initiative?
If you are really doing your best, but your partner remains indifferent, consult a psychotherapist. It's time to seriously work on your relationship. After all, you cannot just give without receiving anything in return, because this leads to disappointment and malaise.
Change your communication pattern
Instead of constantly complaining, ask your partner how his day was. Offer to take a walk together, go to a cafe without children, where you will have the opportunity to talk. Build relationships. A crisis comes when there are problems with the ability to communicate, explain one's point of view and accept the arguments of the other side. Therefore, psychotherapists recommend talking and not avoiding problematic topics.
How to talk in a moment of crisis?
Contain strong emotions
If the crisis escalates, each partner feels bitterness and regret. It is also difficult to remain calm when your partner's words hurt and force you to defend yourself at all costs. The conversation may end in a quarrel, which, instead of the expected results, will only worsen the crisis. Try to avoid this.
Talk about yourself and your feelings
Refrain from blaming, try to sincerely talk about your emotions and feelings. Tell your partner what behavior hurts you and what makes you suffer. Instead of criticizing your partner, try to convey information in a way that he can understand how you feel.
Don't expect too much
Don't expect too much after the first conversation. Don't bet on a specific outcome or reaction from your partner. Think of dialogue as the first step towards further efforts and discussions. Monitor your feelings and behavior during the conversation. Listen carefully to what your partner says and remember his main message.
Rule 5:1
According to surveys, the average couple quarrels 4 times a month. In theory, this is not a very alarming figure, but if there is nothing else in the relationship except arguments and gray reality, problems arise.
Psychologists have created the 5:1 rule. For each conflict, they recommend organizing 5 opportunities to be together and do something good. This minimizes the risk of getting separated.
Family traditions
Another good way to reconcile is to continue to observe family traditions and celebrate significant anniversaries. A good morning kiss or dinner together won't take much time. Treating rituals as sacred strengthens the couple and protects it from inevitable crises.
Try to diversify your family life. You can, for example, start going to the pool on Sundays, start a tradition of playing board games with your children, and watching movies together. It is important that the whole family has the opportunity to get together and spend time together.
Practical advice
- Support each other. Try to focus on treating each other with respect and consideration. Leave your complaints, rather think about the needs of your partner.
- Determine general views on education. If the crisis is based on raising a child, together with your spouse, determine goals and objectives on how to raise a healthy and smart child. Listen to your partner's opinion and discuss options, rather than consider yourself experts in the field of ideal parenting.
- Vary your routine. Learn to surprise your soulmate: create a romantic atmosphere, walk around the city together, go to the theater or exhibition.
- Laugh more! Couples who know how to laugh at their own mistakes, problems and prejudices, as a rule, are more successful in overcoming crises in family relationships. Do not take difficulties too seriously and do not dramatize, because some problems can really be solved quickly if both partners make enough efforts.
- Experiment in your intimate life. Feel free to show passion and discuss your desires with your partner.
- Travel. A trip out of town, a hike in the forest, three trips to a neighboring city, or a vacation in another country – it doesn’t matter. A change of scenery will in any case have a beneficial effect on your relationship.
- Talk. Find out your partner’s opinion, take an interest in his affairs, and have heart-to-heart dialogues.
- Remember care, affection and tenderness. Marriages can last a lifetime if partners do not forget to treat each other with kindness and respect. Show your feelings through compliments, hugs, and touches. Your spouse will definitely answer you in the same way.
What's next?
Try to focus on what brings you together, what you have already come to, what you have already achieved. If you love and respect each other, and in addition, each of you is ready to change yourself, you will easily survive temporary difficulties. A mature relationship is when we decide to stay with another person despite the difficulties and fight for that relationship.
It is important to understand that the husband/wife will not change much, because the partner is a self-sufficient adult, an individual. We must accept that no one is perfect, so focus on your spouse's strengths and turn a blind eye to his weaknesses.
Ways out
How to act as a wife:
- respect your spouse’s personal space, understand that he sometimes wants to be alone and do what he loves;
- during conflicts, do not get personal, do not raise your voice, but try to solve the problem calmly;
- find a hobby, don’t limit yourself only to home and work;
- take care of your appearance - choose a new wardrobe, adjust your figure so that a man’s interest awakens again and he can be proud of his woman;
How to act as a husband:
- calmly explain to your wife the essence of the complaints, try not to throw out your irritation on her;
- do not limit the wife only to household duties - she should have hobbies outside of the home, in this case life will not seem monotonous;
- understand that a woman is approaching menopause, and this is a hormonal restructuring;
- find common ground - common interests, friends or enemies, heart-to-heart conversations, joint evenings, trips.
In some cases, divorce is the only solution. If any little things irritate a person, even an unclosed tube of toothpaste or a poorly prepared lunch, then life together turns into a complete negative.
What to read on the topic - recommendations
A crisis in a relationship can affect even those who were inseparable until recently. These books will help you better understand your partner and his needs:
John Gray "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus"
What prevents us from creating strong relationships and how to fix what seems irreparable? The author, a German psychotherapist and journalist, explains the nature of our emotionality. A refreshing and educational experience.
Geri Chapman "The Five Love Languages"
One of the most popular and recommended reference books for married couples. It is based on the assertion that husband and wife do not use a common language of love, which is why they often do not understand each other's needs and expectations and, as a result, cannot meet them.
John Goth
Professional guidance based on scientific psychological research and the author's observations over several years. The result is a book that sets forth principles that guarantee a successful marriage.
Dean Delis and Cassandra Phillips "The Paradox of Passion"
The authors, famous psychologists, suggest checking whether there is passion in your relationship and help you deal with the fading of feelings.
Crisis in marriage - where can I get help?
A crisis, like any conflict, can have both positive and negative consequences. Sometimes a couple is able to cope with a crisis on their own because, despite the difficulties, the spouses want to be together. In other situations, they see no way out other than divorce.
Before you decide to divorce, try to resolve your current difficulties. Remember that even young children feel that something is wrong between their parents, so it would be a good idea to consult a psychologist or psychotherapist. A specialist will help you understand your problem, find ways to overcome the crisis, find the key to a successful relationship and develop measures aimed at improvement.
Take your time, don't rush to conclusions
An extremely important step! After all, as it happens with us: we endure and endure, and then we abruptly decide: “That’s it! I'm leaving!" And we leave our loved one, sometimes leaving him bewildered... I am always against sudden steps in relationships - at least until other ways to improve them have been tried. It is especially unwise to make serious decisions in the heat of the moment. Someone said something - we believed it. Or we misunderstood our partner, didn’t understand the situation, and are already packing our bags... Well, proud ones! And then we regret our decision, made on emotions... Especially when we understand that we were mistaken or rushed to conclusions. Therefore, we do not rush, do not escalate the already tense situation, analyze the situation and begin to act.
