A psychological barrier is a special mental state in which an individual cannot carry out certain actions. Such conditions occur due to inappropriately acute negative psychological experiences regarding current problems or specific situations. Subjectively, psychological barriers are experienced by a person as insurmountable difficulties in establishing relationships and communication connections and are accompanied by self-dissatisfaction, self-rejection, low self-esteem, and a low level of aspirations.
The presence of such characteristics leads to intrapersonal psychological conflicts, fear, guilt, anxiety, various complexes, in particular an inferiority complex.
Types of psychological barriers: communication barriers, individual psychological and socio-psychological personality barriers.
In communication, psychological barriers of communication and semantic barriers of personality are distinguished. Psychological barriers to communication are directly related to the difficulties a person encounters when organizing his communicative interaction.
A semantic psychological barrier occurs due to mutual misunderstanding between people who fill one event with different meanings. In every area of human interaction there is the possibility of psychological semantic barriers arising. We can highlight those relationships in which they most often arise - this is a semantic psychological barrier in the relationship between children and parents, wife and husband, manager and subordinate.
Individual psychological barriers of a person are manifested in his lack of self-confidence, excessive shyness, tightness, fears, and anxiety.
Overcoming psychological barriers occurs with the help of a psychologist, special training or self-development.
Social and psychological barriers of an individual are a special condition that depends on the psychological characteristics of the individual himself, but to a greater extent on the specific situation of his life. Thus, a person’s bad mood, caused by a negative set of circumstances, can become a psychological barrier that deforms a person’s attention and understanding in a certain situation of communication with a partner.
Negative Attitude Barrier, or Prejudicial Attitude
Imagine: you are about to communicate with a person about whom you have only heard bad reviews. You go into a meeting with a negative attitude and a prejudiced attitude. This is the communication barrier. How does it show up at a meeting:
- instead of a smile and a positive greeting, you frown and greet in a stern voice;
- you take every word a person says with hostility;
- looking for a catch in everything.
But, perhaps, those people from whom you heard bad things were themselves to blame for the fact that communication did not work out, and in front of you is a completely adequate person. But the installation has done its job - your communication with him is also not going well. For example: the interlocutor is used to deciding everything quickly and only to the point, and you, under the influence of an attitude, take his direct statements as rudeness and already accuse him of this.
What to do: rely only on your idea of people. If you are not yet familiar, then adhere to the belief: “All people are good. And if this is not so, then let a specific person himself convince me otherwise.” God himself bequeathed this: “The commandment that He left us says this: he who loves God must also love his brother” (RBO, I John 4:21). By brother here we mean any person - close or unfamiliar.
Barrier of stereotypes
It is similar to the psychological barrier of a negative attitude, but in this case the prejudiced attitude is formed not by reviews, but by stereotypes or secondary associations. Example: you communicate with a person and find out that he works for an organization about which you have only heard bad reviews. Your attitude towards this person immediately becomes negative.
Examples of other popular stereotypes:
- “Driving a car is not a woman’s job.”
- “All Germans are enemies, our grandfathers fought with them.”
- “Estonians are very slow.”
- “You can’t make money on the Internet. And those who say they have made money are charlatans.”
- "All athletes are stupid."
- “You can’t earn a lot of money honestly,” etc.
All these are erroneous beliefs that not only interfere with communication and hinder personal development, but also incite wars and conflicts.
What to do: Develop flexible thinking. Don’t repeat after someone, but gain your own experience - this will help overcome the barrier in communication. Destroy stereotypes by communicating with different people, observing them and drawing your own conclusions. For example, at the online marathon “I’m rich, happy and making money online,” we teach you how to earn money honestly on the Internet. It's possible. If you accept this, you will get rid of psychological barriers in communicating with those who also know how to make money online and are ready to share their proven methods. And as long as you think in stereotypes, you won’t even listen to it. And it takes you away from your dream life.
Psychological barriers to communication
A psychological barrier is a state of passivity of the subject that prevents him from performing the necessary actions. This state increases negative experiences and attitudes (feelings of guilt, fear, anxiety, low self-esteem, shame).
A communication barrier is designated as a collision of opposing oriented tendencies in the consciousness of one individual, in the interpersonal relationships of individuals or entire groups, associated with negative emotional experiences.
A psychological barrier in a relationship causes ineffective interaction between people and the accompanying conflicts. Psychological factors in the emergence of such conflicts lie in the individual characteristics of a person, such as temperament, manner of communication, and differences in the emotional states of interlocutors.
A temperamental barrier appears when two individuals meet with completely opposite types of nervous systems and different ways of reacting to the environment. Communication between people with different temperaments can form a psychological barrier in relationships or lead to conflict.
Another reason for the formation of psychological barriers in relationships is personality accentuation. Accentuations contain positive and negative qualities and determine a person’s behavior style. Since accentuations are extreme expressions of a person’s character traits, each type is capable of generating conflicts.
The way of behavior and manner of communication, formed on the basis of temperament, character and accentuation, can create psychological barriers to communication between people with different communication styles. Therefore, every person should know about the different types of subjects of communication, and be able to behave correctly with them.
A subject of a dominant type always addresses a person without thinking about the appropriateness of communication. For him, the main thing is that he has become the initiator of communication, influences others and suppresses the activity of partners in the communication process. This is observed in raising the voice, interrupting, and repeating the same information multiple times. When communicating with such a person, you must calmly adhere to an independent point of view.
The non-dominant type of subject of communication, in contrast to the dominant type, is afraid to take the initiative in conversation or even express his opinion or share knowledge. The non-dominant type is overly compliant; he will never interrupt his partner and will feel guilty if this happens. When communicating with this type, you need to be attentive, encourage him to be open, and provide him with the opportunity to express himself.
The mobile type of the subject of communication quickly comes into contact, easily switches attention, his speech is hasty, he personally sets the pace of communication, interrupts the interlocutor. During the conversation, such a person actively expresses his opinion about what the interlocutor is saying, inserting his own remarks and statements. When communicating with a mobile type, you need to remember that it is very difficult to discuss serious topics with him for a long time and analyze the essence of the issues raised.
The rigid type of subject of communication is characterized by the fact that he does not immediately engage in communication. First, he studies his partner, tries to understand his intentions. He is always very attentive, expresses his thoughts in detail, his speech is unhurried, and he carefully selects his expressions. He does not tolerate being interrupted or rushed. It is very difficult for impatient individuals to communicate with the rigid type. When communicating with him, it is necessary to avoid haste and inattention. It is advisable to adhere to the rules of etiquette if communication with this person really matters.
The extroverted type of subject is inclined to interact. Regardless of the mood, it is always aimed at communication. The extroverted type is very inquisitive, he is always interested in his interlocutor, shows attention and sympathy to him, and, in turn, expects a response. Communication with an extroverted type is very easy to organize, since he himself sets a positive mood for communication.
The introverted type of relationship subject is characterized by a lack of initiative in external dialogue; it is focused on auto-communication. Such a person is shy, he does not like to speak in large companies. It’s better to talk to him one-on-one, then it becomes possible to get him to talk a little, but for intensive communication it’s better to gradually introduce such a person into the conversation.
By focusing on the characteristics of various types of subjects of a relationship and knowing the approach to each of them, a person protects himself from the emergence of possible psychological barriers in relationships.
The emotional state of an individual also has a great influence on the effectiveness of the communication process, since emotions are a regulator of a person’s mental activity and behavior. Emotions can be both positive and negative. Various types of psychological barriers caused by negative emotions may arise.
Barrier of suffering - caused by tragic events, pain, low self-esteem or dissatisfaction with oneself. Due to the experience of suffering, a person’s level of sociability decreases.
The anger barrier arises because a person experiences the emotion of anger. Such a person is capable of behaving inappropriately, saying offensive words or exhibiting aggressive actions. Naturally, they are afraid of an aggressive person or try to avoid communicating with him, because they do not know what to expect from him.
The barrier of disgust appears as a result of a person’s violation of basic norms of ethical behavior or a person’s failure to perceive the appearance of the interlocutor. Disgust and disgust can be provoked by: dirty clothes, shoes, careless actions and gestures of a partner, repulsive acts (fingers in the mouth, nose, ears, blowing the nose), violation of personal space, the smell of alcohol, unpleasant odors from the interlocutor’s body, and the like. If a person has certain physical defects that he cannot change or hide, then people get used to him over time, but people cannot accept a violation of the rules of body hygiene so quickly, so they often do not even communicate with such a person.
The barrier of contempt arises if the interlocutor evokes negative emotions through his behavior. Such behavior is immoral acts, prejudices, cowardice, betrayal, stinginess and others.
The barrier of fear appears as a result of communication with a person who instills a feeling of fear. They avoid such a person, especially trying not to find themselves alone with him or not to catch his eye.
A barrier of shame or guilt is formed as a result of understanding the inappropriateness of what is happening and, as a reaction to excessive praise, criticism, flattery, as a fear of appearing awkward from the awareness of one’s guilt. In such cases, the person’s face turns red, his voice changes, he moves away from the gaze and communication of the interlocutor.
The barrier of bad mood arises as a result of the lack of mood of one of the interlocutors. A person’s negative attitude affects his interlocutor and discourages him from communicating with him.
A speech barrier is formed as a result of a person making speech errors in a conversation. Constant distortion of words, speech errors in the construction of a message, incorrect choice of words, weak argumentation of what was said - these factors can drown out the meaning of the speaker’s words, because the interlocutor will focus only on “interference.”
Social and psychological barriers of personality are human states in which spiritual and mental resources and their implementation in the process of life are blocked. As a personal property, a socio-psychological barrier is a permanent feature formed as a result of a person’s character traits. Increased alertness, suspicion, and distrust of others are a socio-psychological barrier in the process of communication.
Social and psychological barriers of the individual perform the function of protection from destructive influences. The concept of defense mechanisms was first introduced by Sigmund Freud; he later described them as a means of weakening internal psychological conflict generated by the collision of instinctive impulses and the demands of the social environment.
Even before Sigmund Freud described the mechanisms, his daughter, Anna Freud, tried to create a holistic theoretical system of defense mechanisms. In her interpretation, these mechanisms are aimed at weakening the psychological conflicts of the individual, increasing his adaptation to the environment and self-regulation, ensuring the psychological protection of the individual from the influence of stress factors that can upset internal balance. They are also psychological barriers to an individual’s adequate perception and understanding of the essence of traumatic factors.
By repressing or suppressing threat signals, thereby maintaining internal stability, these mechanisms are psychological barriers, since they prevent a person from forming an adequate assessment of these threatening signals and the accompanying situation, which requires a restructuring of the behavior and mental state of the individual. These barriers are also a means of controlling the degree of conformity or nonconformity of an individual's intentions with respect to social norms.
The mental defense system is understood as a mechanism for maintaining psychological integrity and stability of the world model, which blocks information that does not correspond to the individual’s ideas about the world. Sometimes this mechanism prevents the formation of new solutions if they contradict existing ideas.
Social and psychological barriers are more necessary for an individual who has a weak nervous system, increased impressionability and sensitivity.
A psychological barrier protects a person’s world from changes in his internal state and external living conditions, from destructive stressful situations and the influence of dangerous temptations.
The effect of the psychological barrier has two sides. On the one hand, it protects the human world from internal conflicts and negative external influences, but on the other hand, it slows down, restrains emotional reactivity, slows down the speed of intellectual processes and the general mobility of the individual, which in turn leads to limited interaction with the social environment.
Barrier of psychological defense
“I don’t understand why I answered so rudely,” “I wanted to say a lot, but then it was like I swallowed my tongue”—familiar expressions? It's good if not. Some people in communication adhere to the principles “The best defense is an attack” or “Pretend that you are not there.” They are rude or silent to protect themselves. Behind this are hidden internal problems: uncertainty, complexes, fears. Common fears include:
- “What if I get rejected?”
- “What if I’m misunderstood?”
- “I will definitely be criticized.”
- “They will laugh at me” and the like.
Some people are fundamentally afraid of social contacts. They can't even accurately articulate their fear. And this also becomes a barrier in communication between people.
What to do: observe yourself and track the thoughts that appear before inappropriate reactions in communication. It is important to understand what internal problem is bothering you and work through it.
Character barrier
Every person is unique. Each has its own advantages and disadvantages, features. All this, of course, affects communication. If you have pointed, pronounced individual character traits, such as theatricality in behavior and speech, then this can become a barrier between you and other people. Not everyone likes to communicate with someone who always “plays to the crowd.” And there are also characteristics of temperament that also become psychological barriers, for example, the hot temper of a melancholic person or the thoughtfulness and emotionlessness of a phlegmatic person.
What to do: understand yourself, accept all your characteristics, advantages and disadvantages. Think about which of them interfere with communication, and how this can be corrected. Within the framework of this article, it is impossible to give a universal algorithm - you need to develop an individual plan. If you want to develop your best sides, then sign up for the course “How to Identify Your Talents and Personal Strengths.” With its help, you will get to know yourself and understand how to manage your characteristics.
Ways to overcome
- You should learn to understand yourself (feel at what exact moment a barrier begins to build) and others (see their behavior and recognize other people’s barriers).
- Try to create a comfortable atmosphere during communication. If you notice that a particular topic causes a clash of characters and opinions, it is better to switch to something more optimistic, light and relaxed.
- Active use of a sense of humor always helps to relax and promotes fun dialogue.
- Overly impulsive individuals should exercise some control over their loud speech and active gestures.
- Attending social and psychological trainings.
Barrier to selective hearing
“You only hear what you want to hear,” one person accuses another. And perhaps he is right if the interlocutor has a selective listening barrier. People tend to seek confirmation of what they say or refutation of what they cannot accept. Some people refuse to accept any new information. Others are ready to accept some things, but not others. For example, they do not know how to admit their mistakes and therefore ignore any information indicating them. In any case, this is another protective mechanism of the psyche. This is how the brain tries to keep a person in his comfort zone, to maintain his sense of security and self-confidence.
What to do: Be open to new experiences. Behind psychological inflexibility there are often fears and complexes. For example, as we have already said, the inability to admit one’s mistakes and the fear of making mistakes. Determine what limits your perception. Why are you not ready to hear different opinions and perceive the world holistically? This is what we need to work with.
Communication reasons for barriers
A communication barrier is a consequence of a mismatch in the vocabulary of the interlocutors. It arises due to differences in education, incorrect reading of the text, lack of adequate translation and other errors in the interpretation of individual terms. Barriers of this type can be divided into three types, which are fundamentally different from each other.
Communication barriers are:
- Logical. They arise in a situation where one person cannot express his thoughts. His statements are chaotic and devoid of logic, making it difficult for others to understand his opinion. If everyone involved in an interpersonal interaction has difficulty expressing their thoughts, communication becomes almost impossible.
- Phonetic. Appears in people who have diction problems. They cannot clearly pronounce sounds and the meaning of what is said is distorted. Incorrect placement of semantic stresses can also complicate communication. As a rule, this difficulty does not have much impact on the conversation between native speakers, but when communicating with a foreigner it causes serious misunderstandings.
- Semantic. They arise when people understand different things under the same term. This difference in perception depends on the level of education, interests and constant circle of contacts. Depending on the type of personality, a person selects his own interpretation of the thesis, and it may not coincide with the opinions of other participants in the discussion. With a high level of intelligence, interlocutors identify inconsistencies and choose different terminology.
Communication barriers are more common than psychological barriers, but have a lesser impact. Thus, a person who suffers from a stutter or an inability to pronounce certain sounds, but has not encountered condemnation, will speak freely. But a person with normal diction, who has a fear of being judged for his opinion, will not even try to defend it and will take a passive role in the discussion.
Barrier of age/status/experience
Some people prefer to see doctors only with extensive experience. If they go to novice specialists, they communicate with them somewhat biasedly and distrustfully. Some may even say directly: “What can this psychologist teach me! I’m 20 years older than him, so I probably understand more in life.” This is an example of a psychological barrier of experience.
Other similar types of communication barriers work similarly:
Barrier type | Example from life |
Age barrier | An elderly man says to a young man: “Whatever you understand. You will teach me again! I’m older, which means I’m smarter and wiser.” |
Status barrier | One person says to another: “You see, I only need useful connections. I only communicate with high-status people. And even though you say that you’re successful, you can’t tell by looking at you – your car is kind of simple, your clothes are also modest.” |
Marital status barrier | One person says to another: “You give advice to everyone about your personal life, but you yourself are still lonely. I’m sorry, but I won’t listen to you.” |
But in reality, status, age, experience or anything else doesn’t mean that much and says almost nothing about a person. The younger generation can teach the older generation something new, useful and interesting. If a person lives modestly, but at the same time offers courses on making money, this does not mean that his courses are useless. Perhaps material wealth is not of such value to him; he does charity work and invests in his spiritual development.
What to do: try to evaluate yourself and others less, be unbiased, and work with facts. For example, everyday psychology and scientific psychology are different things. Yes, a psychologist’s client may be wiser from the point of view of everyday philosophy, but the psychologist knows all the intricacies of psychology from the point of view of science. It is important to remember this in all such controversial issues. And remember that someone can judge you the same way. Therefore, rely on the wisdom of Spiritual Economy: “Judge not, lest you be judged. Just as you judge others, you will also be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you” (NRT Matt. 7:1-2).
How to remove a communication barrier
To improve your relationship with your interlocutor, use these rules when communicating:
- Communicate with your interlocutor “in the same language.” Use typical phrases and familiar expressions that will help you find common ground.
- Know how to listen. Don't interrupt your interlocutor.
- Maintain subordination. Don't put yourself above and don't put yourself down in front of your interlocutor.
- Learn to build a conversation with the ability to find a compromise when there is a difference in opinions.
- Be positive and use jokes to clear up misunderstandings.
- Do not communicate with irritated and aggressive people. In a stressful situation, constructive conversation will not work.
- Do not blame your interlocutor, be condescending towards his shortcomings.
Barrier to substitution of facts and feelings
Sometimes in communication people react not to the facts and words of their opponent, but to the feelings that these words aroused. For example, one person made an appropriate remark to another, but he does not know how to accept criticism, so he instantly became offended and angry (this reminded him of how his mother often criticized him as a child). Objective criticism is a neutral fact. But the man succumbed to his feelings and answers his interlocutor: “If you don’t like it, do it yourself.” The conversation is over, cooperation has reached a dead end. And if a person responded not to feelings, but to the words of the interlocutor, then it would look like this: “Yes, a fair point. Thanks for noticing. Please tell me how to fix this."
What to do: develop the skill of managing emotions. Learn to manage your feelings and separate them from the essence. Do a psychological exercise right now: remember a recent situation in which you responded to feelings rather than facts, and figure it out. Get to the facts and answer them for yourself. Repeat this exercise every day.
Barrier of emotional state
Think about how you communicate when you feel unwell physically or mentally. For example, when sick or mentally tired, many people become irritable. Some, in a state of anger or grief, lash out at the first person who comes to hand. People in a state of shame or guilt tend to agree with the interlocutor, suppress themselves and give in. And it happens that a person simply got off on the wrong foot and, due to a bad mood, is rude to others or does not make contact. These are all examples of an emotional state barrier. That is, something or someone unsettled a person, and this is reflected in communication.
What to do: Try not to engage in important discussions when you are in a vulnerable state. If a conversation cannot be avoided, then warn the other person that you are not feeling well. And ask not to take possible inappropriate reactions personally. But don't use this as an excuse. Work on yourself. If you understand that you cannot maintain composure, then say: “Let's reschedule the conversation? I don’t have the strength for this now.” And, of course, it is important to process negative states in a timely manner, to express emotions, and not to suppress and accumulate them.
If you are now in a vulnerable state, then master the practice of the “Bird” resource state. You will learn to relax and restore strength in 15 minutes.
How to overcome?
I described in detail the main ways in which it is possible to establish communication in an article on the development of communication skills. Here I will add a little directly about how to overcome the obstacles that have arisen.
- Don't be afraid to be why. If something is not entirely clear or illogical to you, ask a question. Remember, everyone has different concepts of the simplest things? Also keep track of how easy you are to understand. If you formulate overly complex sentences, just think about why you need to be confusing and difficult for others to understand? What does this give you? Please clarify whether you are understood at the moment? When asking questions, add that you want to hear him correctly, so you ask again.
- If semantics and slang are different, use the same words and expressions; this technique will help to establish contact and win you over.
- If you notice obstacles on the part of your interlocutor, use the active listening technique, which I wrote about in this article.
- Train your empathy and learn to accept otherness. For many, it is important to simply feel support and acceptance, and not advice or recommendations for action. The ability to empathize and put yourself in the place of another greatly simplifies the process of interaction. Respect the opinion of another person, it has the right to be, because in the same situation everyone has their own truth.
- Don't expect much from your partners, and also allow yourself to be yourself. After all, the fear of not meeting expectations provokes anger and anxiety, which subsequently causes disappointment, and all these feelings do not at all contribute to lively and close relationships.
- When receiving information, one should sometimes make distinctions, that is, separate emotions from facts, leaving emotions and evaluation aside, then it is possible to achieve objectivity and a correct interpretation of what was said.
- Regarding modality, address your partner depending on his type, for example: “listen”, “look”, “do you feel?”. It’s not difficult to understand his affiliation, just listen carefully to what words he uses most often in his speech and what he pays more attention to.
Barrier of contempt/disgust/disgust
Reason for occurrence: the person is unpleasant in appearance. For example, some people talk arrogantly and with disgust to those who, in their opinion, look unkempt. Some people despise people with tattoos. Someone is capable of insulting a disabled person, etc. The essence of the psychological barrier is that a person judges by appearance and does not even have time to discern the content of the interlocutor.
Why is this happening:
- Some people, in principle, cannot accept the characteristics of others, because they do not accept something in themselves;
- others are biased towards a specific feature, for example, they despise alcoholics - they do not see them as sick, but as weak and lazy people, and instead of showing understanding and support, they criticize, blame, and insult.
This attitude towards someone or something is associated with personal beliefs and worldview. And sometimes with personal problems. For example, a negative attitude towards alcohol may be associated with childhood memories of an alcoholic father and resentment towards him.
What to do: determine what specifically you do not accept and despise. Think: maybe this is in you or someone close to you, but you transfer it to other people. Or maybe your parents instilled in you the wrong idea, for example, that all homeless people are bad people. Or fear is hidden behind disgust. For example, some people who are afraid of gaining weight have negative attitudes towards fat people. And also do not forget that all this comes down to the assessment of others and their condemnation. But can people judge someone, much less condemn them? No. Let us remember the words from Spiritual Economics: “Judge not, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned” (RBV, Luke 6:37). This means being kinder not only to others, but also to yourself.
Definition and classification
A psychological barrier is a specific state of a person that prevents the implementation of his plans and prevents him from taking an active position in life. Every individual sooner or later encounters such barriers without even realizing it, since they arise on a subconscious level.
There are these types of psychological barriers.
- "Barrier of Opposites" It occurs in the case of contact between individuals who have contrasting temperaments, for example, communication between a choleric person and a melancholic person, an optimist with a pessimist, and this can also include the interaction between a boss and a subordinate. In all these pairs, there is a contrast in the tempo of speech and gestures; different social statuses are possible, leading to opposing views on life.
- "First impression". This barrier is the internal fear of an individual who is unsure of himself, who worries that he will not be able to make the right impression with the necessary acquaintance.
- "Moral barrier". A situation where an individual who does not tolerate rudeness, rude attitude, or deceit creates a protective barrier based on his moral principles. In essence, the individual protects himself from communicating with people who are unpleasant to him.
- "Personal barrier" It is possible, for example, when during communication between two interlocutors a conflict situation arises due to different views on life. Each interlocutor remains with his own opinion. In such a situation, a personal barrier can be built between people, which often turns out to be difficult to overcome or even leads to a complete end to communication.
- "Individual barrier". Is a character trait. A similar appearance can be observed in people with increased shyness and anxiety. This condition prevents self-realization. If you do not fight it, then over time it will affect the formation of stable personality traits, such as distrust, suspiciousness and wariness.
Communication barriers include the following types:
- semantic, which arises when two people have different perceptions of the same concept;
- logical, noted in the case of an individual’s inability to clearly and distinctly voice his thoughts (there may be jumping from one topic to another, inconsistent presentation of information);
- phonetic, which occurs when the individual conducting the dialogue has poorly delivered speech.
The emergence of psychological barriers is also possible in intimate life. In this case, a person may experience the following symptoms:
- feigned sexuality;
- stiffness of movements, fear of making sounds or moving during intimacy;
- lack of excitement;
- loss of sensation;
- tension;
- detachment.
A variant of the norm is considered to be a situation when a person, in very rare cases, encounters difficulties in voicing his desires, he has problems defending his point of view, he is unable to step over himself. However, if such difficulties are observed on an ongoing basis, then there is a serious problem. A person experiencing psychological barriers is in a state of stress, he is limited in his actions, constrained in his reasoning.
Motivation barrier
Let's look at an example from life. One person pursues only personal goals and is interested in personal gain, while the other wants to efficiently complete a work task and advance the project itself. At some point, the first interlocutor says to the second: “Honestly, I don’t care what happens to this office. Tell me this: is my part of the job finished?” And every time he communicates, he emphasizes this.
What to do: Be frank and immediately communicate your true intentions. Avoid understatement, do not think in the spirit: “I could have guessed.” The motivation barrier is one of the few that is better to bypass rather than remove. If you and someone have different motivations, then you are simply not on the same path.
The peculiarity of psychological barriers to communication is that many people do not notice them. The first and main step in the fight against them is awareness of the problem. If people around you are increasingly saying that it is difficult to communicate with you, or you notice that they are communicating with you less, then this is a reason to think about it. If you can't build a personal life or advance your career, then perhaps it's a matter of barriers. It doesn’t happen that everyone and everything around is bad and a person is perfect. If life is not going well, then you need to look inside yourself. And if there is a problem, then you need to work on it. And if it’s hard for you to do this on your own, then sign up for the course “Your own psychologist 2.0. Diagnosis of life using the method of people from the Forbes top 100.” With its help, you will understand yourself, find and eliminate negative attitudes and barriers, set priorities in life and understand where to move. As a result of this, you will become a successful and happy person.
Barriers as a defense mechanism of the psyche
Most people view barriers only as evil, obstacles on the path to self-realization. But from the point of view of psychology, this is a protective mechanism that protects the individual from the effects of negative factors. This is the function of psychological barriers. It’s not for nothing that a person becomes distrustful, suspicious, and reserved. This is a reflection of his personal experience. Once upon a time he was already open to people, but because of this he suffered. And this was repeated more than once. As a result, one day the psyche decided that it had had enough and turned on such a protective mechanism as a barrier.
The term “defense mechanism” was introduced by Sigmund Freud, the author of the theory of psychoanalysis. According to the author, the mechanisms help to ease internal tension caused by the conflict between the desires of the individual and environmental conditions (requirements, opportunities). Protections are aimed at maintaining personal harmony.
So what happens, there is no need to fight barriers? Need to. Defense mechanisms are bad because they become depleted over time, and they are also beyond the control of the individual. They control the person, not he controls them. Barriers hinder the development of the individual and limit his interaction with society. They interfere with adequate perception of reality and traumatic (stressful) factors. The mechanism represses signals about a threat, and therefore a person cannot adequately perceive the situation and change his behavior according to its characteristics. Therefore, it is necessary to replace irrational defenses with rational, conscious, productive strategies of behavior.