Communication styles: description of styles, functions, principles of organization

Communicative communication allows a group of people to interact effectively. Therefore, they began to teach it to managers and those who need to quickly and effectively convey their thoughts to their interlocutor. In itself, communication is not a means of service. Communication involves the exchange of information between two subjects, in contrast to interaction (activity) and perception (cognition of the interlocutor). Because of this, communication can be considered active interaction. Its success strongly depends on how fully the information conveyed by one person can be perceived by the other participants in the conversation.

A short introduction

Communication is a term that in the English-speaking segment sounds like communication or communication. We do not pronounce this long and complex word, since our language has a simpler synonym. Nevertheless, its essence does not change from this - communication gives people the opportunity to interact and develop together. With its help, we not only find friends and partners, we also adopt the experience of our ancestors, study something new written by those who lived long before us, learn new things by looking at news feeds, etc.

In a word, without communication everything would collapse and cease to have the meaning we are accustomed to. Indirectly or subconsciously, every person understands this, although they rarely think about this phenomenon. But what people think about even less often is communication styles, that is, how exactly we communicate and what information we prefer to perceive and what we reject. Are there really certain frameworks for the transmission and perception of material within the framework of familiar society? Yes, and we define them for ourselves.

What does this depend on?

Every person is unique. He has his own character, his own experience, and against this background his attitude towards the world around him is formed. This attitude turns into interaction with society, and, as a result, becomes a communication style for a particular person. A similar phenomenon can be traced both in the everyday sphere and in the work sphere, and there are cases when a person is united in his behavior in both places, and sometimes he seems to split into two.

For example, an experienced and seasoned lawyer in a business environment behaves extremely dryly, extremely professionally, he is perceived exclusively as a busy and strict person. But when he comes home, he becomes a sweet, caring, cheerful, story-reading dad and gentle husband. He allows himself to compliment, smile, laugh and even fool around. This means that a person approaches his work extremely professionally and understands that his line of work does not involve “lisping.”

But at home he is himself - everything is fine, and he is “white and fluffy.” A completely different situation will occur in the life of a woman who works as a teacher in a kindergarten, but at the same time she has problems on the personal front. She will be very kind to children at work, but at home she can act extremely cold and unemotional.

Main classification

In fact, one or another communication style inherent in a particular person depends not only on his profession or “the weather in the house,” but also on many other factors, such as upbringing, life experience, character, and nationality. That is, this is both information embedded in genes and the influence of the society in which a person grew up. For example, if a Russian is born in Russia, then, as they say, everything is the same in him - both genetic memory and environment.

If an Italian is born in Russia, he will become a mix of the cultures of these two countries. From all this diversity, the so-called basic communication styles were derived, which can be applied to a person from any cultural environment. There are four of them, and we will now look at each one separately.

What is communicative communication and how is it different from ordinary communication?

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Communication differs from communication in the following ways:

directional information from the source of information to the listener;
there is a specific goal of the conversation;
there are no emotional connections, no personal reactions between the participants in the conversation.

If the exchange of information occurs between equal subjects, then this can no longer be called communication - it is communication. The same thing happens if emotions appear in a conversation, various sharp reactions appear, likes and dislikes for certain objects appear. Proper communication is essential for business and interpersonal relationships.

Communicative communication can only be built by creating a certain interaction. Also, both parties, on equal terms, must be ready to participate in the exchange of information.

The structure of communicative communication has such important components as:

source of information - the subject of interaction who is going to share the information he has;
transmitter - indicates the method of transmission (speech, writing);
communication channel - the path that information travels before being perceived by the subject (personal communication, letter, newspaper);
receiver - deciphers information into signals understandable to the brain; the receiver refers to vision, hearing and thinking;
recipient - the person who should receive the information.

It is also worth understanding that communication can be not only business, but also everyday. The first includes professional, which is seriously influenced by various rituals and traditions.

Focused

Such people, as they say, will go over their heads, but will always achieve what they want. Incredibly strong individuals who do not make mistakes: they call them experience, and having stumbled, they immediately get up and move on. They are generally not susceptible to criticism and bullies: they have a goal and they achieve it. A goal-oriented communication style is characteristic of people who love order and prosperity.

They always dress discreetly, strictly, but at the same time very expensively, they do not like excess accessories, they choose one, but a worthy one. They speak and communicate just as strictly, concisely and strictly to the point. Their catchphrase can be considered: “Do you have a minute?” - after which you will immediately receive a huge amount of information in a compressed form. Among goal-oriented people, there are rarely beggars or lost individuals - these are two mutually exclusive factors.

Introduction.

In psychology, communication is defined as the process of establishing and developing contacts between people, generated by needs and consisting in the exchange of information between them of a cognitive (cognitive) or emotional-evaluative (affective-evaluative) nature. Communication is the basic form of human existence. The absence or lack of communication can deform the human personality.

Communication is at the core of every human activity and serves the vital purpose of connecting and cooperating among people. The ability to communicate is one of the most important human qualities. We have sympathy for people who are easy to get into contact with and know how to win over. We try either not to communicate with closed people at all, or to enter into limited contacts only in cases of extreme necessity.

The purpose of this work is to study the psychology of communication. Tasks to be solved during its implementation:

Disclosure of the concept, types and functions of communication.
Studying the role of perception in the communication process.
Expanding the concepts of stereotype and prejudice.

Initiator

This is a style of interpersonal communication in which a person is extremely active, loud, looks bright and constantly comes up with something new. These people are often called “clowns,” “jesters,” or “the life of the party.” Moreover, this pattern of behavior can be the basis of both business relationships (surely you have met such an overly bright and exuberant, but brilliant artist at least once in your life), and serve as the foundation for building love and friendship.

Such people look exactly the same as they behave - bright, bold, and sometimes even tasteless. They always speak very loudly, can afford to go beyond the bounds of decency, and at the same time they are replete with ideas, in everything they see something of their own, based on impressions. Their words and thoughts seem crazy, but brilliant.

Emotional

This style of communication in communication is a mirror image of the previous one. It also lacks order, linearity and clarity, but at the same time the person ceases to be bright and loud, but becomes calm, melancholy, and thoughtful. People who have a “cute mess” going on in their heads and in their words. In communication, they can be inconsistent, jump from one topic to another, often become thoughtful and fly off into their fantasies right in the middle of the dialogue. These are creative individuals, but due to a lack of ambition, they rarely reach the top.

How to choose a style of communication with clients?

When choosing a communication style, you need to take into account the characteristics of the business, as well as the needs of the target audience:

age of clients. After drawing up a portrait of the target audience, it is necessary to perform segmentation, dividing clients according to various characteristics, including age. Age plays a primary role when choosing a communication strategy, because people under 25 years old accept free and friendly communication, while people aged 35-45 years and older prefer a more business-like style with elements of interest;
audience. For the B2C segment, engaging, dramatic, and calming styles will be optimal. Business representatives are guided not by emotions, but by benefits, so it is better to communicate with them in a businesslike tone, using elements of an impressive and precise style;
purchasing power and average bill. The more a client spends in an online store, the more demanding he is about communication policy. Wealthy clients require special attention, high interest, combined with a business style. The dominant number of such clients are confident that they are right, so they expect politeness and absolute interest from the manager, and also love personalization.

Priority communication channels need to be identified. Today, more than 70% of all dialogues take place in instant messengers, which involve quick questions and answers. Phone calls are allocated about 25%, email and other communication channels - less than 5%. During a telephone conversation, the manager has the opportunity to quickly establish contact with the client; instant messengers and online chats on the website of an online store require higher professionalism, as well as the ability to use punctuation marks, emoticons, and content to add emotional color to the conversation.

Analyst

This style of mass communication can be compared with a “gray mouse” that says almost nothing in response. But at the same time, it’s difficult to guess what’s going on in her head. Analysts are people who love order and minimalism, and it is in this “genre” that they communicate with everyone around them.

They are always dressed strictly and angrily, but not particularly expensive. When communicating with you, they will ask short leading questions, and in response to yours they may remain silent, and all because at the moment they are analyzing the information received. Like representatives of the previous style, they rarely achieve career heights because they do not have enough ambitions.

At work

Professional activity is one of the key areas of our lives. As given in the example above, it happens that a person transforms for successful self-realization at work, and it happens that he “pulls all his life baggage into the office.” Whether this is good or bad depends on the profession and the team, so you need to look at the situation individually.

However, in the field of work, business communication styles have been identified, which involve communication between management and the team. There are only two of them, and each of them is correct to one degree or another. You just need to focus on the employees, their views and the essence of the work being performed.

Psychological techniques for communicating with clients

Online store managers must adhere to a consistent communication style and also use scripts. However, sometimes they will have to go beyond the limits, which is especially important for buyers with non-standard requirements and a complex character. The psychology of communication with a client includes several basic rules that will prevent outbursts of anger and loss of loyalty:

determination of solvency. Customers with a minimal budget will be happy to receive a discount or other benefits; customers with solid financial resources will be put off by a minimal discount or offers related to low-budget goods;
the ability not to interrupt. Many clients are quite verbose, so managers must be able to listen to a monologue to the end. In a ton of unnecessary information, they will find important facts that will help persuade the client to a positive purchasing decision;

Tone of communication with clients

stay on the same level. The manager knows more about products, manufacturers and properties than the client, but he should not use this information to rise above the interlocutor. Devaluing the knowledge of a potential buyer, interrupting and presenting information in an authoritarian style are unacceptable;
backup plan. Each manager should have spare dialogues and phrases that will be used to communicate with demanding, picky and other difficult clients;
dragging out the conversation. Most clients want to receive the information they are interested in immediately, without wasting time on long conversations. If a manager intentionally increases the timing of the conversation, then this only causes irritation;
not only hear, but also listen. By letting the client's speech fall on deaf ears, as well as ignoring the given requirements, the manager risks losing the buyer and profit. For example, if a client mentions during a conversation that he has a dog, then in addition to the main product, the manager will be able to offer promotional products for pets, which will increase the check and help demonstrate interest.

During communication, the manager can change styles, but he must use a set of mandatory phrases that are the basis of the communication strategy: greetings and farewells, listing the benefits and offers of the online store, a standard package of additional products, etc. You should not ask the following questions, which raise doubts in the client and highlight the manager’s uncertainty:

“Have you already chosen a product?”, alternative – “Can I help you choose?”;
“You will pay for the goods, how?” – “Do you want to pay in cash, by bank transfer or do you prefer cash on delivery?”;
“When will you call back to clarify the details of the transaction?” or “Can we call you back?” – “Let's agree on a time at which we will call you to discuss the details of cooperation?”;
The list of questions depends on the target audience and the characteristics of the business, but the use of vague formulations and hackneyed phrases causes rejection in the client. The user should have the choice and opportunity to refuse the services of a consultant, but the manager should try to take the initiative into his own hands in order to bring the client to the final stage of the transaction.

Authoritarian

Decision-making is coordinated only by management, while the executive team only carries out the instructions of those who are above them. In this type of communication between subordinates and bosses, there is a control factor, a system of punishments and rewards.

Such a concept as initiative on the part of employees is unacceptable - it is only important to accurately and routinely carry out their instructions. Gradually, this type of communication is dying out in a working society, but for some areas of activity it is the only source of existence.

Reading between the lines

We found out how people with different communication styles communicate with each other in a given environment. Well, we shouldn’t forget that we all share with the world additional information about ourselves and our opinions regarding a particular issue using non-verbal signals. On a subconscious level, they are perceived by others and make us, in their eyes, who they think we are. If your speech completely coincides with the thinking process, there is no dissonance and there will not be, you will look convincing even in the eyes of inveterate skeptics.

If your communication style is falsified - you decided to be in a different skin, or you are already accustomed to constantly changing roles, people may notice this. As a rule, styles of nonverbal communication are no different in structure from types of verbal communication. However, if they do not correspond to each other within the same personality, it is difficult for us to interact with such a person.

Communication styles

The concept of communicative style denotes habitual, stable methods of behavior inherent in a given person, which he uses when establishing relationships and interacting with other people.

Let's give a few examples. If a person is sincere with only a few close friends and this type of self-disclosure is important to him, then we can say that deep self-disclosure with loved ones is part of his interpersonal style and one of the values of his interpersonal communication system. Or let's say someone never gossips or talks about people behind their back because they don't want to tarnish someone's reputation or create problems for anyone. In this case, not gossiping about people is part of his style and one of his interpersonal values. Or maybe, reflecting on your relationships with other people, you noticed that you are always trying to get your way. Let's say you go with your friends only to the movie or concert that interests you personally; it is you who always sets the time of the meeting (travel, entertainment, etc.); When talking to people, you usually set the topic of conversation and do most of the talking. This may mean that managing, manipulating, dominating people is part of your interpersonal style and is part of your interpersonal values.

Understanding your own communication style and the ability to recognize the style of your communication partner are important characteristics of communicative competence.

Most researchers of activity and communication styles share the following methodological guidelines:

style is a manifestation of the integrity of individuality;
style is associated with a certain orientation and value system of the individual;
style performs a compensatory function, helping the individual to most effectively adapt to the requirements of the environment.

Many prominent psychologists have turned to the analysis of interpersonal interaction styles. Let's look at the ideas of some of them.

The famous Austrian psychologist Alfred Adler introduced the concept of life style into psychology, considering it as a unique combination of traits, behaviors and habits, which, taken together, determine the unique picture of an individual’s existence.

According to Adler, a child’s life style is formed already at the age of 4 or 5 years and is so firmly established that subsequently it is almost resistant to serious changes and becomes the main core of human behavior.

Every person in his life, according to Adler, is faced with three inevitable problems:

professional problem: how to find an occupation that would allow one to survive in a complex social world;
the problem of cooperation and friendship: how to take a position among other people that would allow you to cooperate with them and share the benefits of cooperation;
the problem of love: how to adapt to the fact that the continuation and development of human life depends on our love life.

All these problems are interconnected. Based on how the three main life tasks are solved, Adler proposed a typology of life styles, however, with the caveat that he does not consider people as types, because each person has his own, individual lifestyle, and the types of attitudes he identifies are only conceptual a means to better understand a concept.

In his classification, the scientist uses two driving forces of personality development as variables - social interest and degree of activity. Social interest is expressed in cooperation with other people for the sake of common success. Its opposite is selfish interest. The degree of activity has to do with how a person approaches life's problems. As Adler believed, each person has a certain energy level, within the boundaries of which he solves his life problems and which can vary among different people from lethargy, apathy to constant frantic activity. The degree of activity plays a constructive or destructive role only in combination with social interest. These two dimensions allow us to distinguish the following types of life attitudes:

managerial type - people are self-confident and assertive, with little social interest. They are active, but their behavior does not imply concern for the well-being of others. They are characterized by an attitude of superiority over the outside world. When faced with major life challenges, they solve them in an aggressive, antisocial manner;
taking type - people with a similar attitude have a parasitical attitude towards the outside world, satisfying most of their needs at the expense of others. They have no social interest, but with a low degree of activity, they are unlikely to harm others;
avoidant type - people of this type do not have sufficient social interest or activity necessary to solve their own problems, they are characterized by socially useless behavior;
socially useful type - people who combine a high degree of social interest and a high level of activity. They show genuine concern for others, are interested in communicating with them, and realize that solving life's problems requires cooperation, personal courage and a willingness to help other people.

The factor of social interest introduced by Adler makes it possible to highlight the attitudes of interpersonal interaction:

the individualistic desire for social superiority over others can be considered as a variant of the struggle against other people in order to become superior to them;
the social attraction of equal individuals to each other presupposes interest in other people, participation in relation to them (useful side) or their use (unuseful side).

Styles of behavior in interpersonal relationships, only outlined in Adler’s concept, received in-depth study and development in the works of psychologist Karen Horney. The main thesis of her approach is as follows: in order to achieve a sense of security in the world around us and reduce anxiety, a person resorts to various protective strategies. Each strategy is accompanied by a certain basic orientation in relationships with other people:

people-oriented, or compliant type. This type involves a style of interaction characterized by dependence, indecision, and helplessness. A person of the compliant type needs to be needed, loved, protected, and guided. These people engage in relationships to avoid feelings of loneliness, helplessness, or uselessness, but their niceness may mask a repressed need to behave aggressively;
orientation from people, or isolated type. This type is characterized by the attitude of not allowing oneself to be carried away in any way, whether it is a love affair, work or leisure. As a result, a person of this type loses true interest in people and gets used to superficial pleasures. This style is characterized by a desire for privacy, independence and self-sufficiency;
anti-people orientation, or hostile type. This style is characterized by dominance, hostility, and a desire for exploitation. The hostile type is capable of acting tactfully and friendly, but his behavior is ultimately always aimed at gaining control and power over others, everything is aimed at increasing his own prestige, status or satisfying personal ambitions.

According to Horney, each of us has used these strategies in interpersonal relationships at some point. In both a healthy and a neurotic personality, they are all in a state of conflict with each other. However, in healthy people this conflict does not carry such an emotional charge as, for example, in patients with neuroses. A healthy person is characterized by great flexibility, he is able to change strategies according to circumstances. The neurotic, when solving the issues facing him or building relationships with others, is not able to make the right choice between these three strategies.

Various communication styles were studied by the American psychologist Virginia Satir, who focused on describing communication patterns, i.e. verbal and non-verbal signs and techniques used. Satir proceeds from the assumption that changing external behavioral reactions can help change a person’s attitude towards himself, first of all, increase his self-esteem. To do this, it is necessary to imagine as accurately as possible, to feel exactly what patterns of behavior - intonation, movements and body postures, facial expressions and characteristic vocabulary - correspond to a particular style. She identifies four fairly stable patterns, in the description of whose attitudes Horney’s influence is obvious:

poster (obsequious type). His internal attitude: “I am a nonentity.” The poster always speaks as if ingratiating himself, trying to thank and apologize; he never disagrees, regardless of the subject of the conversation. He expresses himself as if he cannot do anything on his own and must have someone as a mentor;
Blamer (blaming type). The internal attitude of this type is: “I’m lonely, I’m a loser.” Blamer is the dictator, the master, the one who finds mistakes. He behaves like a man superior to everyone; it seems that he is saying: “everything would be fine if it weren’t for you.” His voice is menacing, tense, often shrill and loud;
computer (unemotional type). An internal attitude of this type: “I feel vulnerable.” He is always very correct, reasonable, calm, cool and collected, not a single emotion is noticeable in him. His voice is inexpressive, dull, monotonous; the vocabulary is full of abstractions;
distractor (inappropriate type). His internal attitude: “no one cares about me, there is no place for me anywhere.” Whatever the distractor says or does is not relevant to what anyone else says or does, the distractor never responds in substance. His voice can be sing-song, the stress on words is often wrong, and his intonation can rise and fall for no reason at all because he doesn't focus on anything.

According to Satir, methods of communication are acquired by a person in early childhood. Trying to find his own way in a complex and often threatening world, the child uses one style or another, after using which for a sufficiently long time he can no longer distinguish his reactions from a sense of self-worth or a sense of his individuality. The use of poster, flamer, computer and distractor behavior patterns to one degree or another strengthens a person’s feelings of low self-esteem and humiliation. An alternative to these types, according to Satir, is congruent behavior, in which all components of the message correspond to each other: the voice pronounces words that correspond to facial expression, body position, and intonation. Relationships flow easily, freely and honestly, and self-esteem is not subjected to such tests as in the four cases described.

Like Horney, who recognizes the flexibility of using different orientations as an indicator of a healthy personality as opposed to a neurotic one, Satir also believes that you can equally well "plaster" if you like, "blame" if you like, be a "computer" or " distractor" if you need it. The difference between an ugly pattern and a normal pattern is that you know what you are doing and are prepared for all possible consequences.

The described patterns of behavior are manifested in a productive or unproductive communication style. The basis for distinguishing between these two contact strategies can be the value axis “attitude towards another as a value - attitude towards another as a means.”

The first pole constitutes the attitude towards a partner as a value. In this regard, moral and psychological aspects can be distinguished. The moral side consists of recognizing another person as free, responsible, and having the right to be who he is. The psychological side consists of the desire for cooperation, equal partnerships, joint solving of emerging problems, the readiness to understand another, the ability to decenter, to see a person in all his complexity, uniqueness, and variability. In behavioral terms, this is an attitude towards dialogue and cooperation.

The second pole is characterized by the attitude towards a partner as a means, an object, an instrument for achieving one’s goals: needed - attract, not needed - push away, interfere - remove. Such an attitude is based on a feeling of one’s own superiority over others in something, reaching the point of feeling one’s own exclusivity. Psychologically, this position manifests itself in egocentrism - a lack of understanding of the other, a lack of attempts to see the situation through his eyes, in a simplified, one-sided vision of his partner, in the use of stereotypical ideas, common judgments about him. In behavioral terms, this is a reliance on unidirectional influence, its monologue using standard, habitual, automatic techniques.

Most cases of interaction between people are between the described poles. In its pure form, the object relationship appears infrequently, since it causes moral condemnation from others and, in addition, is often technologically impossible, since one has to take into account the resistance of the recipient of the influence, defending his right to subjectivity.

Each person faces the problem of choosing his own position, his own “section on the axis.” To describe the mutual transitions between the poles, psychologists propose to distinguish several levels, each of which corresponds to a specific strategy of interpersonal interaction.

Dominance. Treating another as a thing or a means of achieving one’s goals, ignoring his interests and intentions, the desire to possess, control, and gain unlimited unilateral advantage. A stereotypical idea of another, open without disguise, imperative influence: from violence, suppression, domination to suggestion, order using crude simple coercion.
Manipulation. It occurs at the stage when it is no longer possible to openly outplay an opponent, and there is no way to completely suppress it. At the same time, the tendency to ignore his interests and intentions remains, but the desire to achieve his goal occurs with an eye on the impression made. The impact is hidden, relying on automatisms and stereotypes, involving complex indirect pressure. The most common methods of influence are provocation, deception, intrigue, and hint.
Rivalry. The partner appears to be dangerous and unpredictable, whose strength has to be reckoned with, but the main task is to outplay him. If manipulation is based on masking both the purpose of influence and the fact of influence itself, then rivalry allows for recognition of the fact of influence, but the goals are still hidden. The interests of the other are taken into account to the extent that this is dictated by the objectives of the fight against him.
Partnership. Treating another as an equal, someone to be reckoned with, but at the same time, the desire to prevent harm to oneself by revealing the goals of one’s activities. Relations are equal, but cautious, based on coordination of interests and intentions. Methods of influence are based on an agreement, which serves both as a means of unification and as a means of exerting pressure.
Commonwealth. Treating others as their own value. The desire to unite in joint activities to achieve similar or coinciding goals. The main instrument of influence is no longer an agreement, but consent (consensus).

Strictly speaking, only the last two attitudes can be classified as a productive style of interaction. This style is understood as fruitful contact in interpersonal interaction, promoting the establishment of relationships of mutual trust, the disclosure of personal potential and the achievement of effective results of joint activities.

A productive style does not exist between people initially; it is established, requiring significant psychological and energy expenditure from communication participants. Unfortunately, people often cannot adapt to each other, come to an agreement, overcome psychological barriers, or establish trusting relationships. Sometimes, having achieved trust in the first stages of relationship development, they are not able to maintain it. The result is a transition to an unproductive style of interaction, blocking the realization of personal potentials and the achievement of optimal results of joint activities; it embodies the first three attitudes on the scale of interpersonal relationships.

There are several main criteria for the productivity of interpersonal interaction style:

by the nature of activity in the position of the partners: in the productive position - both partners, as participants in the activity, take an active position; in the unproductive - there is an active position of the leading partner and a passive position of subordination - the follower;
by the nature of the goals put forward: in productive - partners jointly develop both near and distant goals; in unproductive - the dominant partner communicates only about immediate goals, without discussing them with the subordinate;
by the nature of responsibility: in productive - all participants in the interaction are responsible for the results of activities; in unproductive - the dominant partner bears all responsibility;
by the nature of the relationship that arises between partners: in the productive one - goodwill and trust; in the unproductive - aggression, resentment, irritation.

Each strategy is built on the use of specific behavioral models. The strategy of partnership interaction presupposes mastery of such mechanisms of mutual understanding as decentralization; empathy; accuracy and clarity in expressing needs, feelings, emotions; sincerity.

Decentration is the psychological ability to move away from one’s Self and approach the Self of another person, to take the point of view of another, to look at the world through his eyes. Decentration in communication is characterized by the fact that the sender anticipates the recipient's decoding, takes into account his point of view, and encodes on the recipient's terms. Likewise, the receiver's decentering is that he listens and deciphers on the sender's terms. The opposite of decentration is egocentrism. An egocentric is a person who has a reduced or completely absent ability to focus on others, which he may not even be aware of. Extreme egocentrism can serve as a serious obstacle to communication. If one of the participants in communication is egocentric, then its successful course is possible only if the other participant is endowed with a developed ability to decenter. This often happens, for example, in cases of communication between a child and an adult.

The mechanism of decentration underlies empathy, the most complex means of interpersonal communication. Empathy can be briefly defined as understanding another through emotional penetration into his inner world, feelings and thoughts. To be in a state of empathy means to perceive the inner world of another accurately, preserving emotional and semantic shades, but at the same time not moving to a state of identification with the other (i.e. not taking the position “I am exactly like you”, “I = you” ). With empathy, our respect for another is manifested in our attention to him, completely directed towards what is being said to us at the moment. It is very easy to replace empathy with advice, teaching, encouragement, sympathy, questioning, or telling stories about yourself. All of the above methods of providing support may be important in themselves, but they are not directly related to empathy; moreover, if used unsuccessfully, they can cause an acute feeling of misunderstanding and emotional rejection in the interlocutor.

The competence of a communicator is to sense when empathy is required and when it is not. One of the signs of such a need can be very strong emotional experiences of the interlocutor, coloring his message. Let us repeat again: with empathy, we do not take responsibility for the feelings experienced by our partner, we do not demonstrate agreement with them, we put on “sympathetic ears” and thereby create an atmosphere of mutual understanding. The ability to empathize presupposes not only psychological sensitivity as a personal characteristic, but also very specific skills that are acquired and honed in practice. Accordingly, the main techniques of empathy are: empathic listening, including “mirroring” the interlocutor’s phrases (i.e., their exact repetition); paraphrasing them; communicating to your partner about the emotions and feelings he is experiencing; an indication of the meaning of what he is experiencing.

Thus, communicative styles manifest themselves primarily as a set of certain actions, abilities and skills that correspond to the psychological orientation of the individual.