How to Toughen Up and Build Character: Pexels Humanism and kindness are good. But what to do if they manifest themselves in softness and reliability? It's time to work on yourself and strengthen your character. Personal trainer Pavel Rakov and bestselling author Angela Duckworth know how to make it stronger and tougher.
Advice from Pavel Rakov
To strengthen your character, will and spirit, do the things you need to do every day:
- Show the people you care about love and appreciation.
- Devote 10-15 minutes daily to cleaning.
- Drink a glass of water daily.
- Every day take a step towards your goal.
- Learn something new.
- Do push-ups.
- Praise at least one person every day (deservedly).
- Organize 5 minutes of silence for yourself.
- Think about the positive things that are present in your life.
- Engage in any type of physical activity.
- Pretend to be a superhero. Until you really become one.
- Say thank you for another day of your life.
It’s worth taking part in Pavel Rakov’s trainings. For example, “Summer Camp” is a large eight-day training session that brings together 1,000 people. This program is based on strengthening character, fortitude, and willpower.
Character is a kind of core of a person. The stronger the character, the more successful the person. Weak-willed and weak-willed people never achieve their goals and do not have what they really want. Only a person with a strong character will be able to show determination, perseverance, integrity, endurance, self-control, courage and courage. All these traits are inherent exclusively to people with a tempered character, will and spirit. Set a goal for yourself and become a strong person.
What are the characteristics of a tough character?
A good disposition cannot be considered a flaw. Such people are open, easy to communicate and liked by others. They are loved and appreciated, but they also use their gentleness to achieve their own goals. For this reason, those who have a soft character want to become tougher. Without this, it is difficult to achieve success in life and work.
Tough (solid) character is understood as the ability to achieve goals, overcome life's difficulties and defend beliefs. A person with a strong character shows courage and leadership qualities in any situation.
The main signs of a strong character include:
- the ability to think rationally and concentrate on meaningful and useful things;
- the ability to abstract from emotions, not lose composure and navigate difficult situations;
- knowledge of how to put a person in his place in a dispute;
- the ability to defend one’s point of view and protect oneself, loved ones, and friends;
- willingness to take responsibility for your actions and your life;
- composure, endurance and willpower.
Typically, toughness of character is formed when a person finds himself in difficult life situations and is forced to fight. Self-development expert Brian Tracy believes that such circumstances develop a person's psychological resilience and a kind of immunity to difficulties. A person with a strong character continues to move towards the goal, despite psychological discomfort and difficulties that arise.
Author of the book “Grit of Character. How to develop the main quality of successful people" Angela Duckworth considers strength of character to be a useful property. It helps a person in various life situations:
- in conflicts at work;
- disputes and disagreements in which it is vitally important to defend your point of view;
- stressful situations and emergencies.
In such cases, it is important to turn off emotions, quickly find your bearings and make the best decision.
A tough character is useful, but it has its downsides. The main ones:
- emotional stinginess;
- lack of tolerance towards others;
- egocentrism;
- ruthlessness.
Many people associate strong character with cruelty and inaccessibility. People may consider you ruthless even before meeting you in person.
How to Toughen Up and Build Character: Pexels
Don't back down (unless you have to)
Once you have made a decision, stick to it and stay true to your values. The difficult decision is often the least popular, so there will be times when other people will oppose you. Stay strong when others try to destroy you for doing what you think is right. Although there are exceptions to this rule - for example, when you clearly did or are doing wrong. Don't automatically defend yourself if you are accused of being wrong. If you realize that it would have been better to do something different and your choice turned out to be wrong, just admit it.
Don't compare yourself to other people
It's a rabbit hole that many of us fall down again and again, but comparing yourself to others undermines your self-esteem. The next time you are faced with making a decision, look within yourself. Learn to say no. People will respect your opinion more if you say what you really think. Always look them in the eye when you say no so they know you are confident in your decision. This point may be the answer to the question of how to become a tough person.
“Only a personal example is truly contagious”
As a mother of two, school teacher and researcher, Angela Duckworth is of the opinion that parents do not have to choose sides: be either soft and supportive or strict and demanding. These two hypostases can be combined.
Wise parents care about the interests of their child and his psychological state, but they do not believe that the child knows better than them what and when to do, how much to work and when to quit the game. They understand that a child needs love, support, boundaries, discipline and freedom - only if all these conditions are met can he truly realize his potential. Their authority is based on knowledge and wisdom, not on strength and power.
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Only a personal example is truly contagious. Most successful people first imitate their parents and then compete with them. Even if you are a psychologically wise parent, your children may not develop strength of character because you yourself do not know how to persistently and persistently achieve long-term goals.
Always start with yourself: think about whether you have a hierarchy of goals, what you see as your calling, and so on. If you feel that commitment to long-term goals is not your strongest trait, find a good mentor for your child.
The author claims that as soon as your child is old enough, he must be enrolled in a club or section outside the school curriculum. Children of elementary and middle school should engage in at least one additional activity based on their interests, and high school students should also be subject to the following condition: at least a year for each activity.
Who is called weak-willed?
This issue requires priority consideration. A person with a weak character easily succumbs to temptation, he is driven by impulses and resentments, and multiple fears can lead him to depression and emotional instability.
A person of weak character cannot defend his opinion; he is easy to control. Such a person is unlikely to be able to become a leader, but even if he is lucky in this, his own subordinates will push the unfortunate one around as they please.
If you notice these cowardly traits in yourself or a growing child, you should not despair. Believe me, working on yourself and correcting your upbringing always bears fruit. You still have a chance to build a strong character.
Try to get to the bottom of it
The owner of a tempered character always seeks the truth, the root cause and the essence. Especially if the situation concerns several people. You've probably heard the saying that everyone has their own truth, and only the truth is the only one. Listen to each side's version. Do not give in to the temptation, without understanding it, to take the side of someone who is dear and dear to you. Yes, sometimes it’s not easy, but it’s not for nothing that they say that difficulties build character. This is the only way to stay on the side of good. By defending the wrongdoer, you will be doing him a disservice.
The solution to any issue can be found by avoiding immersion in the chaos of sensations, prejudices, guesses, rumors, likes and dislikes.
How to determine the optimal firmness of a mattress
- For newborns from the first days of life.
The first few months of its existence, the child goes through a stage of constant formation of the spine and the musculoskeletal system as a whole. Therefore, pediatricians recommend putting babies to sleep on the hardest possible springless mattresses. - For children from 2 to 13 years old.
During this period, the baby moves from a crib to a teenage one. The mattress chosen for her must take into account the developmental characteristics of the child and significant changes in his body weight over several years. For this purpose, medium-hard models, both spring and springless, are suitable. - For teenagers and young people up to 25 years old.
The formation of the spine continues for a quarter of a century. Therefore, it is not advisable to use soft mattresses for sleeping before the age of 25. Models of medium and high (if there are problems with excess weight) rigidity will be relevant. - For people from 25 to 50 years old.
During this period of life, you can choose a mattress of any hardness, depending on personal preferences and weight category: - up to 55 kg - soft models without coconut coir or with a thick layer on top of it;
- from 55 to 90 kg – medium-hard mattresses. In this case, pay attention to the maximum permissible load for the selected model. If it is above the 140 kg mark, the product will seem too dense and uncomfortable for sleeping;
- more than 90 kg – mattresses with a maximum stiffness parameter. Models with a reinforced spring block or a double layer of coconut coir will work well here. If the mattress is used for sleeping by a couple, it is necessary to focus on the weight of the heavier partner.
- People over 50 years old.
Very hard mattresses are contraindicated for them - this can lead to serious problems with the intervertebral discs. The optimal choice for them would be soft and medium-hard models. - For people with musculoskeletal problems.
If a person has spinal diseases, it is necessary to first consult with your doctor. In each case, the selection of a mattress must be carried out individually. But there are also general recommendations: - if there are problems in the thoracic or cervical regions, medium-hard models are suitable;
- in the presence of diseases in the lumbar region, soft mattresses are most relevant;
- For osteochondrosis and problems with posture, rigid models are recommended.
Resist impulses and passions
Aristotle also wrote about the seven main forces that reside inside a person. He attributed the following to them:
- Love;
- hatred;
- irresistible desire;
- fears;
- unbridled joy;
- anger;
- despondency.
Of course, we experience these emotions many times a day, but we should not allow them to control our actions and influence our decision-making. Otherwise, they will simply enslave the will, crush it, and take over all thoughts. A person who has a tempered character does not follow passions; this is the lot of weaklings.
Don't let anything other than common sense influence you. Of course, every living person is subject to impulses, especially in difficult situations. But it’s one thing to show emotions (this is exactly what a strong person is not afraid of), and quite another thing to surrender to their power.
How to resist irrational impulses? Train yourself to look at any situation soberly. Before making a decision, honestly ask yourself and honestly answer what exactly makes you make a choice: objective reasons or the impulses of a restless heart?
What qualities are inherent in a tough and strong-willed person?
In addition to the basic recommendations for training your willpower, we have compiled a list of the main qualities inherent in a tough and strong-willed person. We advise you to pay attention to them.
Determination
Quite often, a strong-willed person is distinguished by the ability to clearly set goals and strive to achieve them, despite external and internal stimuli.
Perseverance
Persistence helps him not to give up at the slightest setbacks, obstacles and doubts.
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Determination
At the same time, it is very important to be ready to make a difficult decision as soon as possible, and not to shirk responsibility or shift it to someone else.
Organization
Without clear planning, it is very difficult to achieve a specific goal, because almost any complex task requires systematics, control and consistent actions.
If a person is constantly subject to sudden impulses, it is very difficult for him to concentrate on something important.
Self-control
A strong-willed and tough person should always be able to control his feelings and emotions, while maintaining clarity of thought.
Make strong connections with other people
There is power in numbers. It's easier to build a wall around yourself than to reach out and create deep relationships with other people. Earning and maintaining people's trust is no easy feat. It may sound strange, but showing vulnerability in front of others is actually an important part of being tough. Show your family, friends and colleagues that you deserve their trust and love. Answer emails and calls quickly and be there for people when you need it. Take on a leadership role in your community. You can dedicate your time to helping others, coaching a small team - say, at work or at the recreational level. Place a bet in your community!
Know how to empathize
It is important not only how to strengthen character, but also how to maintain a good heart. The ability to rejoice in other people’s victories, to share someone’s fears without irony, to support someone in moments of hardship are signs of a truly strong personality. Stifle envy and gloating in yourself, get rid of these base passions, characteristic only of weaklings!
