It's no secret that a person's success is not only luck in life and the strength of his character. The determining factor in many matters is his relationships with others. And communication skills are the key to good relationships. A person’s success in both personal and professional spheres depends on how developed they are.
Communication skills
Communication abilities are the skills and abilities to communicate with other people with and without words: through facial expressions, gestures, body language and image. This includes both sending signals correctly and receiving them correctly.
Effective communication skills are the foundation for success in almost all areas of life. If they have developed harmoniously throughout life, they will become the key to establishing all interpersonal relationships, both personal and business.
Examples of tests to assess communication skills
Below we provide 3 examples of situational tests to assess communication skills with an explanation of the answers.
The first example is a test for managers.
The second example is a test for office staff.
The third example is a test for a sales manager.
You can learn more about situational tests for all professional competencies in our special articles:
Psychological tests for employment and the qualities they test
Tests and assessments for sales managers
Psychological tests for managers
Psychometric testing for call center and customer service specialists
Emotional intelligence tests - what are they, examples, recommendations for solutions
Personal communication abilities: psychology and period of development
Communication abilities begin to develop in a person almost immediately after birth. It is believed that the sooner a baby learns to talk, the easier it will be for him to interact with the people around him.
An individual’s communication abilities are formed strictly individually. There are quite a lot of factors influencing their development: these include relationships with parents and relatives, later with peers, with colleagues and management. In addition, the general social role of a person in society is also important.
What is communication skills
Communication skills are an individual’s ability to effectively establish contacts and interact with others. The basis of communication abilities is trust in others. The less a person follows social stereotypes, the higher his need to start a conversation with a stranger. The term is of Latin origin and literally means “connection, contact.” In defining this personality quality, psychologists emphasize that it is acquired in the process of life. This skill helps to establish friendships based on psychological compatibility.
The level of communication skills determines a person’s effectiveness in collective work and his leadership abilities. High communication skills provide an individual with comfortable communication with a wide variety of categories of people.
A person with communication skills knows how to resolve any conflicts, come to a compromise with the most fastidious client, and find a common language with a strict director. For someone who is uncommunicative, it can be very difficult to solve the simple task of establishing contact with colleagues or clients. Working with a sociable person evokes positive emotions and satisfaction from performing professional duties, while with an employee who has this quality poorly developed, tension and awkwardness are felt throughout the working day, and misunderstandings often arise in the process of solving production problems.
Lack of communication interferes not only in work, but also in personal life. It does not allow you to openly express your feelings, make acquaintances on the street, and in the family it is difficult to express your dissatisfaction or complaints in simple words. Therefore, their family life is rarely smooth. Instead of taking initiative in communication, asking others what they want to know, an uncommunicative person silently draws conclusions, judges by appearance, random phrases, thinks a lot and likes to label and follow public opinion.
Uncommunicative man
Everyone experiences the need for communication, regardless of whether they are sociable or not. But if a person is sociable, then they listen to him with interest. If an individual does not have this skill, then he is considered a talker.
Communication skills are... Definition and characteristics
If in childhood a person did not receive proper understanding and support from his family, which did not allow him to gain experience in communication, he may become unconfident and withdrawn. That is, his communication skills will be at a low level. How to get out of this situation? Develop communication skills. However, before you figure out how to act in such a situation, you need to understand the structure of communication.
Personal communication abilities, the characteristics of which are presented below, include the following types.
- Regulatory-communicative: the ability to help a person in a difficult situation, as well as accept someone else’s help when you yourself find yourself in a difficult situation. In addition, this type is responsible for the ability to resolve emerging conflicts using adequate methods.
- Affective-communicative: the ability to notice the emotional states of others, as well as to respond to them in a timely and correct manner. In addition, this type is responsible for showing responsiveness and respect for the interlocutor.
- Information and communication skills: the ability to start, maintain and end a conversation. In addition, this ability helps to attract the attention of the interlocutor using both verbal and non-verbal means of communication.
Advantages and disadvantages
A sociable personality can have both advantages and disadvantages:
enjoys communication
takes an active life position;
lives in harmony with himself and with the world
in many areas of professional activity the ability to negotiate and communicate with clients is valued;
such an employee usually has a good relationship with his superiors;
opens doors to such areas as psychology, journalism, management, tourism business, trade;
many friends, he is often a leader in the company;
this ability allows him to act as a mediator between people and resolve conflicts;
achieves its goals in a short time.
sociable people are often characterized by high artistry, which in the public consciousness is associated with frivolity;
this character trait is often mistaken for talkativeness;
sometimes it is difficult to grasp the partner’s mood due to one’s own increased excitability;
excessive sociability can be perceived as intrusiveness;
a sociable person, as a rule, communicates not only in real life, but also on a mobile phone, as well as via the Internet, which takes a lot of time;
success can become a reason for envy in the work or educational community;
in an effort to achieve his personal goals, he can use methods such as suppressing a partner, blackmail, and manipulation.
Listen more
Communication abilities of an individual are the ability to competently establish interaction with a person. Is it possible to do this without listening to the other person? Hardly.
This may be the most underrated communication skill. People tend to be self-centered and selfish. Many of them are accustomed to talking exclusively about themselves, everywhere and always. Such people do not hear or listen to their interlocutor: they wait for him to finish speaking so that they can start speaking again. Is it possible to overcome this bad habit?
The best way is to forget about yourself at least for a while. Focus your attention in a conversation on what others are talking about, and not on your “I” or internal dialogue. Think less about your loved one and more about the interlocutor with whom you are talking and listening.
In addition, listening carefully to the other person will help you determine the best way to continue the dialogue. You should ask questions that invite extended answers rather than simple “yes” and “no.” This will help make the conversation more interesting and meaningful.
Sociability and communication skills - what's the difference?
Sociability and sociability are synonymous terms. Both concepts are used in situations where we are talking about a sociable person who enjoys social interaction.
But a detailed analysis of these terms reveals fundamental differences between them. Sociability is a quality due to which a person communicates easily, maintains a dialogue at ease, and listens carefully to the interlocutor. Communicativeness is associated with an individual’s ability to convey information and not necessarily only verbally. Communication skills can be manifested in oral and written speech, music, games, and dance.
Asya Rakhovich
Psychologist with more than 8 years of experience. Consultant on interpersonal and marital relationships, self-discovery.
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Work on your acting skills
Communication abilities are, in turn, a wealth of different intonations and gestures. This is what characterizes people as representatives of society. A sociable person is an excellent storyteller and imitator, who has a taste for juicy detail, for details. He prefers variety in life, since it is easy for such a person to move from one social role to another, in addition, he easily adapts to any situation. Such people have charm and know how to please.
When communicating, use not only words, but also non-verbal means of communication
Compared to body language, words are a negligible part of communication.
Psychologists say that through nonverbal means - tone, intonation, body language and facial expressions - a person conveys about 90% of the entire message. If you become more proficient in these aspects, it will become easier for you to convey your message to your interlocutor.
For example, you can learn to speak more emotionally. To emphasize your interest in what the interlocutor is talking about, you can lean slightly in his direction and look into his eyes. If you are positive and open, it will show in your facial expressions and gestures.
Pay attention to your body movements and tone of voice when communicating with others, and adjust them if necessary.
Stages of developing communication skills
Communication skills are not an innate ability. It is formed only in the process of social interaction. In its development, this ability goes through the following stages:
- Gaining first experience in the family. The first form of interaction between a baby and his parents is direct emotional communication. It uses eye contact, facial expressions, and voice intonation. At this stage, the baby acquires basic knowledge about what this or that facial expression or this or that tone of voice means. He also learns to distinguish his family members from strangers.
Successful completion of this stage of development of communication skills is possible only if the psychological situation in the family is favorable and the child’s needs for emotional communication are satisfied.
- Gaining the first experience of social interaction. The success of this stage of developing a child’s communication skills largely depends on how the first stage of this process went. If a child has a favorable psychological environment in the family, he openly makes contact with the outside world. In the kindergarten group, children learn to communicate with peers, acquire the skills of playing together and the first experience of resolving interpersonal conflicts.
- Interaction in the school community. As a child grows up, he learns to help his peers and learns his own strengths and weaknesses. In a school environment, children gain the experience of true friendship. It is at this stage that interpersonal likes and dislikes are most clearly manifested. Friendly communication, starting from school, accompanies him throughout his life.
- Interaction in the process of obtaining professional education. After graduating from school, girls and boys enter various educational institutions. Sometimes students study away from home, so they live in a dormitory. Obtaining a certain profession helps future specialists master the basic principles of business communication, prepares them for real work in one or another area of economic activity, and living in a hostel helps improve interaction skills in an informal setting.
- Interaction in the work team. When applying for a job in one or another company, a person improves his business communication skills. It is important for him to learn how to communicate correctly with management, with colleagues, and with subordinates.
Formation of sociability
The success of the formation of communication skills is influenced by factors such as:
- type of nervous system;
- family education style;
- the presence or absence of psychotrauma in childhood;
- interests and inclinations of the individual;
- socio-psychological climate in the team;
- acceptance or non-acceptance of one’s individuality;
- experience of communication at all 4 stages of development of communication skills.
The degree of expression of communication skills may vary in different situations because it is influenced by social conditions. The same person will have a different level of sociability in a family where everyone loves each other and in a tense work team.
Show genuine interest in the person you are talking to
When you show sincere interest in your interlocutor, you completely involuntarily begin to listen to him more carefully, trying to understand what he is thinking and feeling. That is, this will help you determine what really interests him.
When you listen to your interlocutor and show interest in his person, you can easily discover that he is not as different from you or as boring as he seemed to you when you met.
Additionally, people will feel more comfortable if they see your interest and attention in them, which will benefit the conversation.
What does a sociable person mean?
A sociable person or a communicative person is someone who can come to an agreement with absolutely any interlocutor. At work, he skillfully negotiates and solves production problems. His communication skills are appreciated by his superiors, which contributes to rapid career growth.
A sociable personality is often the center of attention. This means that his opinion is listened to, he is a formal or informal leader. This is not just a talkative neighbor, he is a tactful and educated communication partner. For him, communication is important in life, so it takes up most of his time.
People of different ages can be sociable: a girl or a guy, middle-aged women and men, old people. In children and adolescents, this skill may not be as noticeable, since school age is the time when communication skills are actively developing.
Be understanding about criticism
The ancient Greek philosopher Epictetus advised listening to criticism. If a person senses a grain of truth in it, then it is worth thinking about how to improve.
However, it should be remembered that in the vast majority of cases criticism is a reflection of the emotional state and mood of the critic. Perhaps he was having a bad day. Maybe your pet or child is sick. Perhaps your interlocutor is angry with someone or is jealous of you. Because people are often focused on themselves and their experiences, it is very easy to draw the wrong conclusion.
Remember that the world does not revolve around you. Realize that people think very little about you, about your actions and mood. This knowledge can make your life much easier. Thus, the problem that is associated with the fear of taking the wrong step and saying something wrong (and this supposedly will somehow affect the opinions of others about you) turns into a small obstacle.
How to communicate effectively with a child with ASD
As mentioned above, the most important condition for starting communication is the presence of at least two partners (the sender of the message and its recipient). Since a child with ASD has difficulty initiating and maintaining dialogue, as well as understanding the meaning of a message, it is important for an adult to be able to adapt his speech in accordance with the child’s developmental level. Many adults with autism say they have difficulty identifying individual words in a stream of speech. It can also be difficult to understand to whom the interlocutor is now addressing (for example, the phrase “everyone is going to wash their hands” may not be perceived by a child with ASD as relevant to him too).
How you can improve your interaction with a child with ASD:
- Talk to your child using simple and clear phrases to help your child understand your message better. If your child only uses single words, try to shorten your sentence to two words. For example, instead of the long sentence “Anya, let’s go eat quickly, but first we need to put away the toys and wash our hands,” we say several short ones: “put away the toys,” after this is done, “wash your hands,” and then “let’s go eat.” "). If the child does not yet use speech, use separate words (for example, instead of “let's go eat” - only the word “eat”).
- You can use the speech phrase “first - then” (for example, “first wash your hands, then eat”).
- Do not turn the instruction into a question, use the affirmative form (instead of “will you go read a book?”, “will you go to eat?” “will you sleep?” we say “let’s go read”, “let’s go eat”, “sleep”). This will significantly reduce the likelihood that the child will refuse to do what he now needs to do.
- It is very important to give the child time to process the information (it is usually recommended to silently count from 5 to 15, depending on the individual child's skills) before repeating the question or giving instructions.
- To make sure your child pays attention to you, stand opposite him and encourage eye contact.
- Accompany your speech with gestures or other forms of visual support.
- Contact your child if you want him to answer you or do something.
- Encourage actions in turns (“first you, then me”, “my turn, your turn”), this teaches the child to wait when at a particular moment it is not his time to perform some action.
- Reinforce the child's attempts at communication in an acceptable way using games, activities, and toys. Communication is not an easy task for a child with ASD.
Try to initiate the conversation
Residents of a big city have long been accustomed to pretend that, walking down the street, moving on a bus or on the subway, they do not notice a familiar person or do not recognize him. Downcast eyes, as a rule, indicate a person’s reluctance to communicate with anyone, and this works - they also lose the desire to talk to you.
This adult version of hide and seek causes people to experience more stress and negative emotions than a conversation with even the most undesirable interlocutor.
When you see someone you know, but hide intensely, pretending not to notice him, you are in a state of anticipation. A swarm of questions flash through my head: did he recognize me? Does he want to talk? Or maybe he is in a bad mood and is not in the mood for a conversation? Should I come or not?
In order not to be stressed and not torment yourself once again, it is better to simply come up and start a dialogue, to act as its initiator. You will be surprised how easy it is. If the interlocutor is really not in the mood for a conversation, then you can simply say goodbye and move away.
Types of communication skills
There are different types of communication skills:
- Dominant communication skills. Differs in rigidity and assertiveness. In interpersonal interaction, he strives to dominate. Interlocutors quickly get tired of such a sociable type, because he strives to talk rather than listen, and does not like to be interrupted.
- Mobile communication skills. A person with this type of sociability is distinguished by a high rate of speech and a wealth of non-verbal language. Representatives of this type easily join in the conversation, but quickly lose interest in it. In everyday life, this feature does not cause them serious problems, but business negotiations can fail because of it.
- Rigid communication skills. It is difficult for a person with this type of sociability to get acquainted and make contact. However, he does not experience communication difficulties among people he knows. The ability to clearly define his position and prudence are his main advantages when he successfully conducts business negotiations.
- Introverted communication skills. At first, this person may not seem sociable at all. But this does not mean that his communication skills are not developed. He is comfortable communicating in a narrow circle, but a large unfamiliar audience makes him feel constrained and unsure of himself. Such a person will feel more confident if the audience encourages and supports him.
