5 simple techniques for those who want to manage their emotions

Why do we need emotions?

What are emotions? This is the reaction of the psyche to current events. A person experiences a wide emotional spectrum: fear, anxiety, joy, despondency, anger, euphoria, sadness, gratitude. As a result, we understand our attitude to what is happening and can correct our behavior. For example, if a person feels joy while doing something, he chooses it as his profession or hobby.

But it's not that simple. Social education teaches us to divide emotions into “good” and “bad”. The child is forbidden to be irritated, offended, capricious, cry, or express his dissatisfaction. At school there is no place even for positive emotions: joy, delight, surprise, admiration. Suppression of emotions occurs: we experience some feeling, but for a number of reasons we cannot express it right now.

Keep a journal of emotions

If you have problems understanding your own emotions, this practice will be very useful. Every day, write down how you felt today. Acknowledge them, notice how many different emotions you can experience in a short time, and they are all completely normal.

Suppressed emotions: consequences

Suppression of emotions is a mechanism of social adaptation that allows a person to adhere to the norms and rules accepted in a particular society. Unfortunately, this practice has negative consequences.

How do people who suppress emotions feel?

• Emotional emptiness. Long-term suppression of emotions in oneself leads to a kind of mental “atrophy”: a person forgets how to experience feelings, they become muffled.
• Misunderstanding yourself. Without feeling emotions, we do not understand what we like or dislike, what we really want. Such people cannot answer the questions: “Who do I want to become?”, “Who do I really love?”, “What brings me real pleasure?”
• Disappointment. Suppressing all emotions deprives a person of the sense of importance and value of his own life. Everything that happens seems gray and boring to him, one day becomes similar to another.

Suppressed feelings and emotions cause psychosomatic disorders: insomnia, headaches, peptic ulcers, intestinal dysbiosis, asthma, decreased libido. Freud believed that repressed emotions accumulate in the subconscious and provoke uncontrollable outbursts of anger, depression, and nightmares. How to protect yourself from such consequences?

1.Anger

In society, displaying anger is considered a sign of bad parenting.
For this reason, and also to avoid negative consequences - for example, family discord, a quarrel with a friend, or dismissal - many suppress their anger and frustration. By depriving ourselves of the opportunity to speak, we take the emotion inside. Next, our jaw muscles tighten, which the brain orders to ensure that an unnecessary word does not escape in the heat of the moment. If we developed the habit of suppressing anger in childhood, then the body will automatically react to even the slightest dissatisfaction - and there will be “playing nodules” on our face.

How to stop suppressing emotions?

Psychologists and psychotherapists have developed many techniques aimed at working through suppressed emotions. They can be very unpleasant, since during the exercises “swallowed” grievances, irritation, and anger are released. Therefore, it is better to work through fears and emotional traumas under the supervision of an experienced specialist. But there are simple techniques that you can do yourself:

1. Get to know yourself. Every half hour ask yourself the question “how am I feeling right now?” Are you relaxed or tense? Is your state more negative or positive? Are you having fun or are you disgusted? This way you will get to know your inner world and begin to understand yourself better.
2. Do an “emotional cleansing.” At the end of the day, choose a time when you will not be distracted. Sit comfortably, relax, close your eyes and ask yourself: “what emotions did I experience during the day?” Perhaps you will experience a real emotional storm. Don’t worry, try to observe yourself, your reactions, breathe deeply and slowly. It may be that you don’t experience anything “exciting,” but your hand suddenly cramps, your stomach gets cold, and your chest feels heavy. Focus on the feeling and breathe until it goes away.

Suppressed emotions do not disappear anywhere - they remain in the body in the form of muscle tension, spasms, which prevent the body from functioning normally. The above exercises will help get rid of them.

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The dangers of suppressing emotions

If you repress your emotions infrequently, it's no big deal, but if it happens on a regular basis, it can lead to serious problems such as borderline personality disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, and obsessive-compulsive disorder. In addition, constant suppression of feelings leads to physical decline in health, immune system reactions, and problems with digestion and sleep. Stress causes symptoms such as:

• muscle pain;
• nausea and dizziness;
• change in appetite;
• constant feeling of fatigue;

Why do your emotions hurt?

• high blood pressure;
• problems with digesting food;
• cardiovascular diseases.

To avoid all these problems, it is very important to understand and accept your feelings, as well as solve the problem that constantly causes negative emotions. If you feel that you cannot cope with your emotions on your own, and you already have the above symptoms, contact a specialist. An experienced therapist can help you identify possible causes and offer guidance and support as you begin to address those causes.

How to suppress emotions?

Although we should not suppress emotions, there are situations when it is important for us to control our emotional state. For example, during an important exam or meeting, it is important to control your anxiety. In this case, Irina Khakamada recommends not suppressing, but managing your emotions. Many psychologists and psychotherapists give the same advice. How to do it?

1. Breathe deeply and slowly.
2. Count to yourself from one to ten, watching as the excitement, fear, resentment or other emotion gradually weakens.
3. Take a shower or wash your face and hands with cold water.
4. If the situation allows, take a short “time out”: go out into the fresh air for 5 minutes.
5. Play a mental game with yourself: imagine that you are watching yourself from the outside.

It is important for a person to experience the full range of negative and positive emotions. But this does not mean that you need to follow their lead. Learn to control your state, being aware of the feeling you are experiencing. Then you will maintain mental and physical health. If you want to understand in detail what it means to suppress emotions, how they are formed and why a person needs them, pay attention to the training program “Psychological Consulting and Coaching”.

Try visualization

When a strong emotion comes, try to be alone. Breathe deeply, do not push away your sensations, but let them pass through you. Visualize them into whatever you want, for example into a dark fog that gradually leaves your body.

You can practice visualization in a more literal way - write your feelings on a piece of paper, read it out loud and burn it.

Life in the “serotonin pit”

An alternative to the monoamine theory, which from the point of view of many scientists can no longer be considered basic, is the biopsychosocial model of depression. In accordance with it, the development of the disease is influenced not only by biological, but also by psychological factors.

“A person may experience loss (grief) or severe frustration of their needs (stress). As a result, its neurochemistry also changes,” explains Danina. “But this is the so-called normal “grieving process.” Doctors talk about reactive depression only if, even after months, a person continues to experience the same unpleasant sensations, and over time his condition only gets worse.”

In some people, however, the functional characteristics of their neurons make them more susceptible to depression. Such patients do not require external circumstances to “start” the process. And their depression is not reactive, “endogenous” in nature.

In both cases, as a medical treatment, in addition to psychotherapy, doctors prescribe antidepressants, that is, drugs that can affect neurotransmitters in the brain.

There are five classes in total. Each of which affects the brain in its own way.

1. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs).

SSRI drugs increase serotonin levels. Which helps to more accurately regulate mood and gradually overcome moderate and severe depression. These drugs do their job by preventing neurons from taking up serotonin from the synaptic cleft between neurons. Due to this, neurons are able to exchange information better.

SSRIs have fewer side effects than other classes of antidepressants. For example, in case of overdose, they do not disrupt cardiac conduction and do not lead to seizures.

However, there are still side effects and they are quite serious - from increased suicidal thoughts to sexual dysfunction, drowsiness, dry mouth, dizziness and headaches.

In addition, all drugs that increase serotonin levels in the brain can cause serotonin syndrome, a situation where there is too much of the neurotransmitter.

Serotonin and signal transmission along nerve cells.

With serotonin syndrome, a person becomes overexcited, restless, suffers from sweating and increased heart rate. This is why being treated simultaneously with two antidepressants that increase serotonin levels is dangerous to life and health.

2. Selective serotonin and norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs).

SNRIs work in much the same way as SSRIs, but with one difference. Medicines “prohibit” neurons from absorbing not only serotonin, but also norepinephrine, a neurotransmitter that is involved in the regulation of emotions and thought processes.

And since norepinephrine works closely with serotonin and dopamine, SNRIs are believed to increase attention, focus, and improve memory.

The indications and side effects of SNRIs are very similar to SSRIs. Drugs in this class have few advantages over SSRIs, but they are better for some patients.

3. Atypical antidepressants.

This class includes drugs with different principles of action, which have only one thing in common - these drugs are not similar to SSRIs and SNRIs.

Although some drugs in this class also “prohibit” neurons from taking up serotonin, like reuptake inhibitors, some of them can affect receptors for other neurotransmitters. This makes it possible to fine-tune the sensitivity of neurons to one or another substance.

It is worth noting that the components of some atypical antidepressants - for example, bupropion - are indicated in a note to the list of psychotropic substances subject to control on the territory of the Russian Federation. And although this product has been approved by reputable international medical organizations - for example, the American Food and Drug Administration (FDA), it cannot be legally purchased in Russia.

Side effects for this class of drugs vary depending on the specific drug. For example, some atypical antidepressants make you sleepy, while others, on the contrary, invigorate you. To choose the right medicine, the doctor must take into account the specifics of the legislation, individual symptoms and the patient’s health condition.

4. Tricyclic antidepressants (TCAs).

All drugs in this class are thought to increase norepinephrine and serotonin levels in the brain, much in the same way as SNRIs do.

But TCAs have a very important difference - they are able to act on brain receptors that bind to other substances. In case of overdose, this leads to severe side effects - for example, seizures and complete heart block. And although TCAs are quite effective, today they try to use drugs from this group as rarely as possible.

5. Monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOIs).

Drugs in this class “turn off” monoamine oxidase, an enzyme that breaks down norepinephrine, serotonin and dopamine in the brain. As a result, neurotransmitters are not destroyed and remain in the synaptic cleft for a long time.

Unfortunately, MAOIs have many side effects, including high blood pressure, weight gain, swelling, sexual dysfunction, and suicidal thoughts. So medications of this class today are used only under strict medical supervision and as a last resort - if other antidepressants have not helped.

4.Fear

People usually experience fear much more often than joy or love. It hides in several places in the body, but our neck is most vulnerable to it. Which is not surprising, since the body’s first reaction to fear is the desire to shrink and “pull your head into your shoulders.”

Many of those who experienced strong fear in early childhood continue to live with this feeling further. The neck muscles of such people are spasmed and shortened. Fear blocked in the body can also interfere with our self-development, career growth and success in society.

Humanity is drawn to negativity

When people say that they are tired of negativity, they are not being entirely sincere, although they themselves do not realize it.

A few years ago, an experiment was conducted in which participants were asked to independently choose any news. The main thing is to read them, supposedly in order to study eye movements. In fact, scientists observed which news would most often attract the attention of the subjects.

It turned out that positive and even neutral news was of little interest. First of all, the participants in the experiment chose news about corrupt politicians, disasters, and tragedies. But when surveyed, all participants were unanimous in their desire to see more good news.

Nobody cheated. Rather, he was deceiving himself. Yes, we all want more positivity, smiles and good news.

But our brains are wired to notice danger first.

Negativity is more visible and self-defense is in the DNA

The nervous system has evolved over 600 million years. And our brain is literally focused on solving problems of survival. Agree, it is better to make a mistake and mistake the breeze in the bushes for a tiger and run away than not to notice the predator. And the strategy of seeing friendliness and positivity in the world around us would be a losing one.

In order to survive and pass on their DNA to future generations, our ancestors needed to be aware of all the dangers, risks, losses, and conflicts. Therefore, our predisposition to negativity seems quite justified.

Another question is that now we live in a slightly different world, and survival strategies are no longer so effective. On the contrary, the tendency to see the negative in everything creates additional vulnerability to stress. I remember very well how five years ago I complained to my coach about the feeling of causeless anxiety, which was somehow constantly present.

From a position of survival, it is easy to overestimate threats and not notice new opportunities and prospects. Not to mention that it is now much easier to die due to chronic stress than from the claws of a predator.

I can’t help but share another explanation for our tendency towards negativity. People are optimistic by nature, and bad news becomes more visible against the backdrop of this optimism, and therefore attracts more attention.

But no matter which option you choose, the question remains: how to cope with negative conditions and not succumb to stress? More on this later.

3.Love

When experiencing love, a person strives to hug the object of affection, cuddle with him, stroke or protect him. And the main tool here is the hands. It is believed that the arms, hands, and fingers are the repository of balance, the ability to give and receive.

Unfortunately, we often hold back the expression of our romantic feelings, even towards our loved ones. Because of this, we can develop a defensive reflex, an unconscious reaction towards others - we begin to fence ourselves off from people, in particular, with the help of our hands. As if we were saying “don’t touch me.”