We all, one way or another, experience fears in our lives. Everyone has their own fears, but this does not change the essence, because their nature is always the same. But still, what do people fear most? What is the nature of fear and is it possible to fight it?
To answer these questions fully and exhaustively, you will probably have to write more than one three-volume book, because this topic is deep and extensive. But we will still make a small attempt to at least partially clarify these things. And it’s worth starting with the definition of fear as such.
Top 10 most terrible human phobias
- The fear of loneliness is the worst.
- Fear of death is one of the most terrible phobias.
- Social phobia is a fear people have.
- Fear of specific objects - each person has his own worst phobias.
- Fear of intimacy affects the inhabitants of the planet of all ages.
- Fear of madness is the fear of losing a sense of reality.
- Fear of germs and bacteria is a terrible disease of modern man.
- Fear of cowardice is a big phobia for men.
- Fear of poisoning is a phobia of the rich.
- Fear of old age - wrinkles and helplessness.
Rider on a Black Horse - Hunger
In 1947, my great-grandmother, together with her younger children, decided to move from Vladivostok to be closer to her eldest daughter, to Baku. She collected all her belongings, sold her house and hit the road with an impressive amount of cash. On December 29, during a transfer in Moscow, monetary reform broke out, and absolutely all of my grandmother’s savings disappeared in one moment, turning into an amount... sufficient to buy one train ticket. So they traveled further - “hares” for several days on the road: a grandmother with a ticket and completely without a livelihood and two small children.
The fear of hunger is not an allegorical story for us. After all, hunger is where there are no reserves, and almost everyone in their family background has a sad story about the same as mine about savings burned in one day (war, crisis, reform). So we all have an unhealthy relationship with supplies. If you look at it more broadly, the fear of times of famine is the fear of not being able to earn money, the fear of poverty, of poverty.
How do we feel about it?
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Like defense deficiency . Those who do not have an “airbag” feel this most acutely. Here we are talking not so much and not only about financial reserves, but about understanding your professional savings. Maybe these are some specific skills, or experience that is in demand on the market at any time, useful connections, the ability to work in a team, or resistance to stress, or the ability to process information, or the stubbornness to complete the solution of any task - something you should have accumulated ! And if you don’t know anything like that about yourself, you are a professional bankrupt. And a serious question arises: why did you develop such an attitude towards yourself, where do the legs of this blindness come from? Well, no one has canceled the financial question: of course, life puts us all in very different conditions, but the question “if you are so smart, then why are you so poor?” has some specific answer. It may be worth reconsidering your individual balance of spending and earning or working on the ability to set your own price - but something here definitely needs correction.
What to do?
To avoid the fear of one day coming face to face with poverty, you need to learn to save. Conduct an audit of your capabilities. Calculate your capital, make a rational plan (implemented projects, connections, achievements, finances and savings, obligations). To learn how to save, you need to at least focus on it. Start spending resources wisely - don’t jump from place to place, don’t make sudden movements, stop panicking - this is just a task that, like all tasks, has its own solution.
Fear of loneliness is the biggest phobia
As scientific research has shown, the greatest fear of all people in the world is the fear of loneliness. We are talking about the desire to find family happiness, to meet true love, to give birth to children who bring the proverbial glass of water in old age. More generally, the fear of complete loneliness is expressed in a frightening way: a situation where a person may find himself without support. When no one on earth remembers you, no one will wish you a happy birthday, no one will notice if you die, leave, or get sick.
Since man is a social being, adaptation in society, support, and attention to his own kind play a vital role. The need is reflected in the external way of existence and lies deeply subconsciously. Some of the harshest punishments in prison include solitary confinement and inability to communicate.
Despite loud slogans, even convinced bachelors and feminists admitted during the study that they sometimes feel lonely. Research by psychologists has shown that one of the great anxieties of autistic people who have difficulty socializing is associated with the fear of losing the support of loved ones who shape their shaky, narrow world.
Some tips for dealing with fears
In any situation when you feel that fear is taking over you, under no circumstances should you give in to it or start panicking. You must learn to control your fears, and this is the most important thing in the fight against them.
The second thing to do is to try to analyze the situation: see its scale and seriousness, and also think about whether it is possible to find some kind of help.
The third is purely physiological: if you are afraid, start breathing deeply. First, take a deep breath, then exhale completely. Repeat this at least ten times. This move will help you concentrate, get involved in the situation, activate brain activity and calm your mind. After this, finding a way out of the situation will be much easier.
Fourth is talking to yourself. If you are afraid of something, turn to yourself, say your name, give yourself the command to calm down. Try to understand what is happening, who and what is around you, how you feel, etc. Along with calmness, both blood pressure and heartbeat will normalize, and panic will disappear.
If you can’t get rid of fear, use a trick - get angry at yourself, at what is happening to you, at the circumstances of the situation, at one of the people. Remember that anger will scare away your fear and neutralize it. And instead of fear, there will come a desire to act in order to change the situation and resolve the situation.
If you are overcome by any mental fears, drive them away. Always remember that you are human and fear is normal and that it is temporary. You are worthy of joy, happiness and prosperity - turn your gaze to them, and your fears will go away by themselves.
If anxiety becomes an obsession, it may be your intuition talking, trying to signal something. Think about what your fears are telling you and find the answer to this question. In many cases, fears are pointers to the right path.
And finally: do not forget that when a person overcomes fears, he discovers new opportunities for himself, becomes stronger, expands the boundaries of his personality, improves and moves forward, and also begins to see the world in new colors. Therefore, do not give in to your fears, take them as a new chance and an opportunity to become better. By overcoming your fears, you become a different person.
Go towards what you are afraid of!
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Key words:1Psychoregulation
Thanatophobia, or fear of death
Fear of death is the most terrible, deepest phobia of a person, hiding a large number of meanings. In a simple sense, an instinctive sense of self-preservation inherent in nature. For each person it manifests itself differently and is expressed in a number of additional superficial phobias. A great deep-seated fear of dying is hidden behind the fear:
- heights;
- water;
- fly on airplanes;
- be in open spaces/small rooms.
Also, thanatophobia in a person can express fear of the dead, blood, darkness, certain diseases, for example, oncology, AIDS.
If you dig deeper, a terrible phobia implies several large underlying blocks. Globally they can be divided into 3 groups:
- There will be nothing left after you, you will cease to exist.
- Sudden death: you won’t have time to finish your work, do everything you dreamed of.
- Bodily death. Fear of pain, inability to come to terms with the loss of the body.
The first block is most easily overcome, especially by adherents of religions: they replace it with belief in an afterlife, the rebirth of energy. The second phobia can be controlled by establishing a harmonious routine in everyday life: avoiding difficult situations, monitoring health conditions. The third block is the most difficult, since it is difficult for a person to imagine existence without a physical body. Pain is a terrible, unpleasant sensation: not everyone can come to terms with the fact that it will have to be experienced.
Fear of disappointing loved ones
The natural human desire to take care of loved ones, surround them with care and please them can turn into a demon - self-betrayal if you don’t stop in time. And also in the case when your loved ones have different plans for your life than you yourself.
Only those who can ask their relatives to move, and who are able to defend their desires and experience fears can achieve significant success.
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Social phobia: how not to be afraid of other people
If some people are afraid to be alone, a certain category of the planet's population is afraid of people. The phobia is divided into many large blocks: many of them have touched each person at least once.
The most common fears among social phobes include:
- crowds;
- public speaking;
- to be ridiculed, rejected;
- going out;
- be condemned.
Most have learned to cope with the phobia, but for some inhabitants of the planet it becomes the worst nightmare that interferes with life. In severe cases, it leads to serious disorders: a person begins to avoid people, becomes a recluse, and begins to live in imaginary worlds. Social phobia can be successfully treated, the main thing is to start psychological classes. The mild form is easier to correct: leaving the comfort zone, communicating through strength, overcoming barriers will help isolate fears.
What is the differential diagnosis of phobias based on?
Exaggerating, we can say that if a person is afraid, this is fear, and if he is afraid and avoids, then this is a phobia. But it's not that simple. In differential diagnosis, it is necessary to distinguish phobias from obsessive fears, post-traumatic syndrome and some other mental disorders. For this purpose, a self-assessment of the level of anxiety on the Zang scale is often used, but only a specialist (psychotherapist or psychiatrist) can make a reliable diagnosis of phobia based on knowledge, experience and a medically recognized classification.
How does a phobia differ from obsessive fear? With a phobia, fear occurs only in specific situations and in the presence of an object with which the phobia is associated. With obsessive fear, a person begins to be afraid and anxious even at the thought of the possibility of meeting an object. For example, he may check the bed many times to make sure there are no spiders or snakes, or constantly measure blood pressure and pulse in case of obsessive fear of a heart attack or hypertensive crisis. We can say that a phobia is a less severe problem compared to obsessive fear.
To differentiate a phobia from PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), it is important to know that in the latter case there must have been mental trauma, as a real threat to life, safety and health. With a phobia, the object may not be personally experienced as a real danger; the person may simply be a witness to something that threatens others, or may perceive the stories of eyewitnesses too vividly. But experiences with a phobia tend to be revived when meeting an object, even only in imagination or mention of it. In PTSD, re-experiencing a traumatic experience occurs spontaneously, independent of flashback-like memories.
Specific objects: spiders, mirrors, dogs, dolls
When you think about something scary, what first comes to a person’s mind is not the philosophical fears described above, but everyday irritants. Moreover, for each, the most terrible, frightening, leading to hysteria, throwing into panic will be different:
- snakes;
- spiders;
- dogs;
- dolls;
- clowns;
- ghosts;
- darkness.
Thus, one of the most terrible, terrible phobias is mirrors: the fear of seeing a reflection is eisoptrophobia. It is connected with a mysterious halo that has been enveloping the mirror for a long time. Mystically minded people claim that mirrors can show another world and ghosts, that creatures from a parallel universe come to us through the glass, and everything reflected in it remains forever in the memory of the mirror. It’s not for nothing that in the distant past our ancestors used a mirror to tell fortunes about their betrothed during Christmastide, and many films use mirrors to weave the main outline of the plot. Eisoptrophobia is generated due to external pressure from society, cinema, and literature. Under the influence of such information, people think they saw something supernatural in the mirrors. If what he saw made too strong an impression, and the person turned out to be receptive and suggestible, later such an experience turns into paranoia.
Failure
This fear deserves first place because it rules all our actions and decisions. We all do and don't do things to avoid failure. Failure can be anything, the realization that you are not living your life the way you wanted; not succeeding in your plans; find yourself helpless. Failure is a very ambiguous and subjective term, since failure is not at the same level and is not the same for everyone, what is considered failure for one, another will not be able to pass even halfway. For some, mistakes are actually a way to learn lessons and try again, so it's not the end, but a tool for future use. The main fear of failure comes with the feeling of disappointment that follows from the fact that, despite all your efforts, it did not work out as you wanted and, as a result, you may not even want to try again. This is why it is the worst fear of all, fear or failure is very often used as an excuse for procrastination or for not doing anything that could change the situation for the better - “why bother?” and “I’m not good enough.”
The key to knowing yourself is understanding your situation and your fears. Don't be afraid to seek professional help if your fears become too big for you to manage. You can contact me by going to the contact information page .
Fear of intimacy: platonic relationships only
Intimate relationships in modern society, although greatly liberated in recent decades, continue to be under an unspoken ban. Many people, especially those raised in strict families, consider sex to be a sin. Any thought about physiological contact with the opposite sex causes horror: such sensations are called genophobia.
There are objective reasons for genophobia: they are characteristic, for example, of impotent people. People with sexual dysfunction know that such an experience will be doomed to failure, so they are afraid of situations leading to it. For some, the fear of intimate relationships is associated with unsuccessful, unpleasant, scary previous experiences: violence, laughter, humiliation, dissatisfaction on the part of the previous partner.
Disappointment
This fear is somewhat difficult to explain; there are two types of fear associated with disappointment - disappointment of other people in us and disappointment in ourselves. We all, when we were children, having committed a bad deed or done something wrong, expected punishment or at least an educational conversation from our parents. But instead, the parent, looking at us with sadness in his eyes, will say: “I am disappointed in you.” This one phrase is much more painful than any other punishment. Fear of disappointment is part of the reason we avoid the unknown, disappointment is that feeling of dissatisfaction occurs when our expectations do not match what actually happened. Obviously, we go to great lengths to avoid it, just like pain, disappointment is a negative feeling that is sometimes accompanied by regret, in which the person wonders whether their choices contributed to the outcome. “If I had done things differently, what would have been different?”
Fear of madness - how to remain yourself and feel reality
The biggest fear of spiritually rich, educated people is going crazy. In search of self or truth, while immersing in spiritual practices, as well as studying complex philosophical or religious topics, there is often a feeling of loss of reality.
Sometimes understanding the world leads to the feeling that the support under your feet is lost, and all the basic things that previously seemed unshakable are called into question. At such moments, it seems to a person that he is going crazy or has already gone crazy, and the world around him is an invention of a sick consciousness. When the basic landmarks return to their place, the fear of losing them again remains one of the greatest of those experienced in personal experience.
Loss of freedom
Although the exact definition of freedom and its value in society is a controversial topic, the fear of losing one's freedom is always present in the human mind. We are afraid of losing power and losing control over our own lives. This fear starts with mundane things like the times we had to sit in our room, unable to leave until we finished our homework, or our fear of commitment. The question arises, is absolute freedom the best fate for us? We've all seen people make bad decisions over and over again and wondered if someone else could make better decisions for them.
Horror of germs and bacteria: a disorder that interferes with life
Speaking about the phobia of intimacy, it is worth mentioning one more type of it: the fear of contracting sexually transmitted diseases, as well as the fear of bacteria and germs. Scientists call the second option a modern disease: mysophobia - fear of germs. Every day the media informs us about new diseases and viruses, AIDS epidemics, bird or swine flu. They are echoed by numerous and sometimes rather unpleasant commercials:
- your house is full of bacteria, they harm you, kill you, destroy your health;
- on the street everyone sneezes and coughs, there are a lot of viruses there, you can get sick;
- you yourself are infested with bacteria: they make you smell bad, look terrible and feel bad.
It is not surprising that the daily repetition of such mantras causes even less impressionable people to feel great anxiety, and later makes the world around them and their own home their biggest phobia: after all, there are germs everywhere! Mysophobia has become so common that there are even reality shows being made about sufferers. It sounds funny, but it terribly interferes with normal life: in the case of obsessive-compulsive disorder, people clean their mattresses several times a week, wash the entire house with cleaning products every day and do not touch objects with their bare hands.
What are the main treatments for phobias?
The main method of treating phobias is psychotherapy, based on the presentation of a phobic disorder as a conditioned reflex to a stressful stimulus that has not completed extinction. This incomplete process is caused by the patient's avoidance of situations and objects that frighten him. If you resort not to avoidance, but, on the contrary, to constant and gradually increasing exposure to a frightening factor, then the conditioned reflex of the phobia will fade away over time. This rapprochement with the object of fear is achieved by combining the relaxation method and cognitive behavioral therapy, the so-called systematic desensitization. By the way, rapprochement can be both real and virtual, but it is based on a change in the patient’s incorrect beliefs regarding the danger of a situation or object. In fact, the psychotherapist works with the patient using methods of relaxation training and reality checks. Usually it takes 15-20 sessions to get rid of a phobia. In addition to desensitization, other techniques have been developed for working with patients suffering from phobias. These include behavioral therapy, paradoxical therapy, implosive therapy and gestalt therapy.
In some cases, drug treatment is indicated, but it should be combined with psychotherapy with extreme caution, because for psychological correction to be effective, the patient must experience a feeling of fear. If it is suppressed with medication, then psychotherapy will not achieve its goal. The choice of drug therapy is made when they want to get a quick result or when phobias are combined with other mental disorders, for example, depression, neurosis, etc. The following drugs are mainly used:
• Antidepressants, the tricyclic antidepressant imipramine is quite effective, as well as SSRIs and MAO inhibitors. • Anxiolytics (tranquilizers) of the benzodiazepine group to reduce anxiety. • Sometimes low dosage antipsychotics. • Sedatives.
When treating phobias with medication, only a doctor - psychotherapist or psychiatrist can prescribe drugs, monitor the effectiveness of therapy and cancel treatment. It should also be remembered that medications provide only a temporary effect; after completing the course of drug therapy, symptoms of phobias and fears may return. Therefore, without the help of a psychotherapist, it will not be possible to achieve lasting positive results and complete relief from phobias. Therefore, the sooner the patient seeks help, the simpler, easier and more effective the treatment will be.
Fear of cowardice: boys should not be afraid
Surprisingly, one of the biggest and worst phobias of men is cowardice. From childhood, social attitudes instill in boys to be strong and courageous, not to cry and not to be afraid of anything.
This pressure on a subconscious level causes fear of not being able to cope with fear in a responsible situation and showing oneself as a coward. Especially if, due to his character or physical capabilities, a man is not inclined to show aggression, courage or leadership qualities. Often fear gives positive results: in order to prove his worth to himself, a man becomes more responsible, keeps the surrounding reality under control, and gives security to loved ones.
Devices for measuring the level and strength of fear.
In the process of the development of science, scientists received various devices with the help of which it became possible to carry out psychophysiological diagnostics of a person. At the beginning of the 19th century, the French doctor S. Feret and the Russian physiologist Tarkhanov independently discovered that when fear occurs in human skin, its electrical properties change. This is how the galvanic skin response (GSR) was discovered, which is the most informative component of a polygraph (lie detector). Thanks to GSR, you can measure the level of fear.
Today, the polygraph is one of the most accurate instruments that can be used to measure the body's reaction to a stimulus, which can be either dangerous or non-dangerous.
Fear of Poisoning: A Phobia of the Rich and Famous
5% of the world's population fear poisoning. Most often, the phobia is characteristic of the rich and famous: most of the murders in high society are committed with the help of poisons. Traditionally, in criminology, women are considered poisoners, but mostly men suffer from the phobia of being poisoned.
A striking example of the modern era is Joseph Stalin: for the formidable ruler of the USSR, possible death from poison was on the list of the most terrible. Discarding internal sensations, the problem causes discomfort in everyday life: food and drinks are purchased only in trusted places, trips to catering establishments are canceled, family dinners are a matter of trust and the degree of development of the disorder.
What are the main symptoms and signs of phobias?
The symptoms of phobic disorder are quite varied. The determining factor for diagnosing a phobia is the presence of at least 2 of the symptoms listed below, and one of them must be included in the first four. These signs include: 1. Increased and severe sweating (hyperhidrosis). 2. Tachycardia, increased heart rate, increased blood pressure. 3. Tremor in the form of trembling of the limbs, eyelids, and the whole body. 4. Feeling of dry mouth. 5. Pain or unpleasant discomfort in the chest. 6. Difficulty breathing, its rapid, superficial nature (tachypnea). 7. Feeling of lack of air and suffocation. 8. Depersonalization and/or derealization - perceiving oneself and everything that happens as unreal or relating to someone else. 9. Dizziness. 10. Numbness or tingling of different parts of the body. 11. Fear of death. 12. Fear of losing control over your actions. 13. Hot flashes or chills. 14. Nausea.
In addition, other physiological reactions are observed, for example, dilation of the pupils to increase the perceived light flux and improve visibility, constriction of the skin veins to direct blood to the organs competent to respond, an increase in the concentration of glucose in the blood, uncontrolled urination and defecation, tension of the smallest skeletal muscles around hair follicles, as a result of which it seems that the hair “stands on end”, relaxation of smooth muscles, shutdown of systems that are insignificant at the time of fear, such as the digestive and immune systems, decreased concentration of attention on unimportant details for a better understanding of the overall situation. All of these physical reactions are designed to help us survive a dangerous situation and prepare us to either flee or fight for our lives.
Fear of old age: fear of the inevitable
One of humanity's greatest fears is gerontophobia, or the fear of old age. Most often, it affects women over 30-40 years old and men over 50 with an unfulfilled, aimless, boring life. Women are most often afraid of changes in appearance: for many, beauty is the main wealth, wrinkles on the face seem like a tragedy. Men who have not achieved much by the age of 45-50: money, a good position, position in society, success with women, are afraid of old age because of the feeling that life ends in vain.
For many, the phobia is associated with changes in behavior and deterioration in physical condition. Using the example of relatives or acquaintances, people see that with age, character becomes more bad, and the defining personality traits are erased. Many are afraid of going crazy or getting so sick that they become a burden to their family and friends, or lose their independence and freedom. In addition, fear of old age is closely related to fears of the unknown and death, which represent a large block of phobias.
The influence of fears on a person
How can fear affect a person?
Fear is one of the most destructive emotions that affects human consciousness.
Basically, at the root of most of a person's fears is a lack of certainty and low self-esteem.
Lack of certainty pulls out previously acquired negative experiences from the subconscious of a person with low self-esteem, which affects the person’s thinking, behavior and actions.
Under the influence of fear, many people lose the ability to think logically and clearly, which turns a person into a rabbit in front of a non-existent boa constrictor, which often leads to irreparable mistakes.
Surely you have seen videos on the Internet that show the reaction of “fainting goats” to fright, when they are paralyzed from fright and fall like figurines.
Such paralysis is observed not only in many animals, but also in people.
If in animals this paralysis hampers sensory-motor functions to a greater extent, then in humans it often blocks areas of the cerebral cortex. At this moment the person loses his “sanity”. He moves and feels under the influence of fear, and loses the ability to sensibly assess the situation, draw sober conclusions and make the necessary decisions.
Fear is the most commonly used emotion in manipulation.
A person who has fallen under the influence of fear is under a kind of “hypnosis,” which makes it possible to control the “unfortunate” and impose someone else’s will on him.
The threat of punishment, humiliation, pain makes many people manageable from childhood. The roots of these fears lie in “wrong upbringing.”
Man has a peculiarity, unlike animals
Mental experiences associated with loss of status are akin to the fear of death, and sometimes stronger than the fear of death. Which in some cases leads to suicide. Some people find it easier to die than to suffer shame or misfortune. Losing your self-esteem is akin to losing your “I”, your name, your personality, on which your behavior, thinking, perspective and perception of life rests.
The bulk of human fears are far-fetched and have no basis in reality.
A person invents a problem for himself and lives according to the fear that is generated by imagination and speculation. This is often related to health (a person is afraid to go to the doctor because he thinks that he has a fatal disease). Or he’s afraid for his loved ones (that something irreparable will happen to them). Or that a loved one will stop loving (fear of betrayal or treason) and many others. etc. At the root of these fears are often social limiting attitudes (as a “normal” person should have), which the person strives to follow. And if he fails to follow them, he experiences negative emotions and fear of inadequacy.