They are born in suffering and trials: which people have the strongest souls

A weak person is not one who cannot do something, but one who does not want anything!

In this article I will talk about how, after 10 years of working as a psychologist, I have to admit the futility of many of my actions.

I don’t remember why this happened, but since childhood I believed that all people are good and capable. He believed that evil people could change and become good. He believed that those who lie could become honest. That naive people can become adults. That the weak will become strong. Greedy people are generous. The poor become rich. Stupid - smart.

This is partly why I chose the profession of psychologist. I have seen people suffer from difficulties and misfortunes. From stupidity and cowardice. From ignorance, uncertainty, weakness, cowardice, envy, deception and everything else that makes us unhappy. However, from what makes us happy, we also suffer. For example, when the weak are given power. When money is given to the poor. When the good work for the evil. When they start loving a scoundrel...

Reasons for indecisiveness

1. Excessive parental care in childhood. If from birth adults made all decisions for the child, did not take his opinion into account and did not allow him to make decisions on his own, then in the future the child himself will not be able to do this. Growing up, a person does not understand that he needs to make his own decisions and bear responsibility for them.
2. Childhood trauma. Another option is that the child made the decision himself, but it turned out to be wrong, and the parents punished or scolded him. Because of this, an insecure person grows up who will be afraid to make decisions.
3. Perfectionism. Perfectionist people like everything to be perfect, and therefore they have a fear of making a decision. Doubts arise that everything may not go so smoothly, and not so ideally.
4. Diffidence. Insecure people tend not to express their opinions and defend their point of view. The fear of offending another person or spoiling your opinion of yourself is much stronger than proving that you are right. Indecision and self-doubt are often intertwined with each other.
5. Laziness. It often happens that a person is simply too lazy to solve matters and problems. He doesn't care what happens next, so he's in no hurry to make a decision. Such a person, as a rule, lacks motivation for a good life, has internal problems and experiences, as well as low self-esteem.

To combat indecision in a man or woman, you must first find the root of the problem. If the problem comes from childhood, then it is better to talk to a specialist who will help you get rid of it correctly. Or you need to consciously approach your character and behavior and try to correct unnecessary qualities in yourself. Unconscious human behavior often manifests itself in unnecessary shyness, embarrassment, timidity and indecisiveness.

Request for help

Asking for help is just as difficult as apologizing. These points are inextricably linked. The request forces the person to admit that he does not know how to deal with the problem. However, if we have done something wrong, it is worth asking for help from those who can guide us.

It's all a matter of who to contact with a question. If you want to get pragmatic advice, contact a professional. But if you're just having doubts, talk to a loved one who will listen to your story. Perhaps together you will find a solution.

Asking for help means not being afraid of your shortcomings. Therefore, if you don’t know what to do, ask. You don’t have to follow every piece of advice, just look at the problem through someone else’s eyes.

How to deal with mania for cleanliness?

The disease of love for cleanliness, which develops in a mild form, can be overcome independently, without seeking help from a specialist. For these purposes, American psychotherapists advise using a simple scheme:

• Intentionally refuse to wash the floors in your home for a week.
• Leave the mop, sponges and rags dirty after the next cleaning.
• Choose one set of home clothes and wear such items every day without resorting to washing for a long time.
• Periodically walk around the entire apartment in street shoes, picking up trash only when absolutely necessary.
• Throw the sheets on the floor and remake the bed with those sheets, pillowcases and blanket.

Regularly following the above algorithm of actions, after a while you can notice how the symptoms of the disease, mania for cleanliness and order, recede.

Therapy for personality disorders

Depending on the type of disorder, the degree of suffering of the person who has these changes, the ability or inability to control the impulses generated by this disorder, as well as the level of personality, psychiatrists, psychotherapists, and sexologists treat this pathology. In the mildest cases, psychologists work with such people. Therapy for personality disorders requires long-term and painstaking psychological work. Progress in drug treatment for personality disorders is inconsistent and often questionable. If we set the task of working with personality traits and reactions that burden the patient, then psychological work, in general, can achieve more impressive results than drug assistance.

Telephone for consultations:

+7(495) 726-36-42+7(965) 152-76-09

All materials on the site are presented for informational purposes only, approved by certified physician Mikhail Vasiliev, diploma series 064834, in accordance with license No. LO-77-005297 dated September 17, 2012, by a certified specialist in the field of psychiatry, certificate number 0177241425770.

How to overcome weak character

One of the manifestations of weak character is human cowardice. Often such a person could achieve something in life, but because of cowardice, she does not even try. She likes to feel sorry for herself, to suffer, to pretend that nothing will work out for her. It's much easier than taking action.

The most important characteristics of the described quality are the absence of personal opinion and statements. These personality traits manifest themselves under different circumstances. Considering that character is formed from habits, then if you try to change habits, you can cultivate the desired qualities of a strong-willed person.

To overcome weakness of character, you need to tune in to long-term work on yourself. Relatives can provide moral support at the initial stage, but all further changes depend on the person himself.

Finding strength in yourself and getting rid of weakness is not so difficult. It is enough to use the suggested tips:

– first of all, it is important to understand the reasons for your weak character; if you fail on your own, then a psychologist can help you figure it out;

– further, you should get rid of dependence on other people’s opinions, for this you need to always have your own opinion, not be afraid to express it, regardless of whether it is true or not;

– it is important to start thinking independently and allow yourself the right to make mistakes;

– you need to stop complaining and start solving problems that arise as they arise;

– there is no need to strive to be like someone;

– you need to learn to refuse requests without explanation;

– you should set specific goals and go towards them, despite the obstacles;

– you need to realize that there is no need to constantly throw out your emotions, but it is important to establish a balance between the heart and mind at the time of decision-making. So, weak character is inherent in an individual who doubts his abilities and cannot personally overcome difficult life situations

This character trait makes a person weak and directly dependent on the opinions of others. Such people see only the problems around them and do not notice their internal obstacles and contradictions. Therefore, in order to gain willpower and put an end to weakness of character, you need to change yourself, solving your internal problems on your own or with a psychologist

So, weak character is inherent in an individual who doubts his abilities and cannot personally overcome difficult life situations. This character trait makes a person weak and directly dependent on the opinions of others. Such people see only the problems around them and do not notice their internal obstacles and contradictions. Therefore, in order to gain willpower and end weak character, you need to change yourself, solving your internal problems on your own or with a psychologist.

Strength and weakness - where is the line?

Strength and weakness - where are the boundaries of these concepts?
Is the one who shakes space with kilogram muscles always strong, and is the one who is swayed in the wind so helpless and weak? Where are the criteria for a person’s strength and weakness, who can be safely called a strong person, and who in comparison is better to delicately leave “behind the scenes”? Who is a weak and a strong person?

Become taller, stronger, more authoritative, more beautiful, richer, healthier, more confident, more successful? – It’s tempting, isn’t it? Then why does the overwhelming majority of erect walkers prefer to envy those who already have these advantages and do not close the distance to their ideal? Is the distance really that great between a successful person and a loser, a healthy handsome man and a sickly pale weakling, a financially independent person and someone who is used to “living on credit”? To answer these questions, let's try to figure out who is a weak and a strong person?

Atazagoraphobia - what is it?

Atazagoraphobia is the fear of being forgotten or abandoned or ignored.

It is customary to distinguish several types of phobia:

• fear of forgetting oneself, one's personality, memories (in patients with dementia and other mental illnesses);
• fear of being ignored, being lonely, abandoned (more common among older people);
• fear of living a meaningless life, not leaving a trace, a reminder of oneself.

Atazagoraphobia is more common and worsens in childhood, middle age (period of crisis) and old age.

It is important! Atazagoraphobia has two forms: fear of being forgotten and fear of not remembering.

What is apathy? Description

However, for many people, apathy is not an isolated and short-term phenomenon, but takes possession of a person for a long period of time, makes changes in character, becoming a unique personal property. Social apathy in the form of passivity and lack of initiative can be a character trait of individuals at certain stages of development, manifesting itself in low professional activity and social inertia.

As such, there is no diagnosis of “apathy” in psychiatry. In the understanding of clinicians, this is a symptom of the existence of a certain problem in the human psyche, which can be described as “total indifference.” It is this sign that most accurately reflects a person’s position at the moment. It is worth noting that indifference does not extend to any specific area of ​​life: a person is indifferent to all manifestations of life.

Apathy is well conveyed by the speech construction “I don’t care.” That is, it is the same for a person: the sun is shining or it is raining, he received a bonus or lost his wallet, he will go to a friendly party or stay at home alone, he will eat a delicious steak or get soy sausages for dinner. For a person with apathy, there is no fundamental difference between joyful and sad events, achievements and failures, gains and losses. Any phenomenon, regardless of its sign: “plus” or “minus” will not cause an emotional reaction.

However, it is worth distinguishing apathy from a related anomaly - abulia, which often go hand in hand. Apathy is insensibility, and abulia is inactivity. If with apathy a person continues to exist as if by inertia, without feeling any emotions, then with abulia his urge to do anything simply disappears.

A state of contemplative inactivity is a sign of schizophrenic disorders. Indifference to the surrounding world is a negative manifestation of various somatic, neurological, and mental pathologies, such as: dementia due to Pick's disease, senile dementia of the Alzheimer's type, tick-borne borreliosis, HIV infection. Apathy can develop when taking certain pharmacological agents, for example: antipsychotics.

Apathy can be a specific clinical symptom within depressive disorders. Apathy and depression are kindred spirits. But if with “pure” depression a person is exhausted by negative feelings, then with apathy contrasting concepts disappear. A person does not feel the difference between “sad - happy”, “sad - happy”. In a word, everything is “nothing” for him.

However, the absence of external manifestations of experiences in a subject with apathy does not always mean that the person has completely lost the ability to feel something. It’s just that true sensations are often hidden in the deep parts of the subconscious and are not demonstrated at the conscious level. In addition, apathy deprives the richness and brightness of experiences, so it seems that a person has no emotions at all.

How to fight

To get rid of enissophobia, you need to get rid of complexes, allow yourself to make mistakes, and learn to learn from mistakes. Psychologists do not recommend self-medication. Enissophobia is a complex problem that is associated with a number of other psychological problems. This is not a typical type of phobia.

Independent struggle

Realize that criticism is normal and healthy. Ask other people about how someone's comments, suggestions, or advice helped them grow personally or professionally.

In order to get rid of enissophobia, you need to work with the personality traits on which it is based:

• shyness, including timid movements, shifting eyes, etc.;
• imbalance in behavior, emotions, voice;
• weak character;
• inability to refuse, express one’s opinion and defend it;
• indecision;
• inability to clearly formulate one’s thoughts and desires;
• imitation of other people;
• exaggeration of one's merits and qualities;
• lack of initiative.

You need to work on these features, but the main forces need to be directed to working through psychological trauma. For this it is better to consult a psychologist. It's not just about complexes and self-doubt. You live according to a destructive parental scenario. It is impossible to get out of it on your own.

Help from a psychologist

The goal of psychotherapy is to teach a person to learn from his mistakes and perceive them as the norm. The client must understand that everything can always be corrected, taken into account next time, rethought. Psychotherapy is aimed at developing the client’s will and confidence, self-love, and positive thinking. The main method is psychoanalysis, individual psychoconsultations. To correct personality traits, practice and develop skills, practical exercises and training assignments are selected.

The psychocorrection program is selected individually. Approximate psychocorrection plan (reference points):

1. Forgive your parents.
2. Accept and love yourself.
3. Think positively.
4. Determine your goals in life, your needs, abilities, opportunities.
5. Draw up an action plan to achieve goals and self-realization.
6. Transform weaknesses into strengths, strengths, opportunities.

Causes

Reasons for the development of enissophobia:

1. Authoritarian parenting style in the family. Constant reproaches, suppression, and punishment lead to the child growing up passive and fearful. “Don’t interfere, I’ll do it myself”, “don’t touch”, “behave normally”, “stop talking nonsense”, “you’re talking nonsense again”, etc. With such phrases, parents cripple the child’s psyche. This is destructive criticism.
2. Criticism and suppression among peers, at school. Some teachers, like some parents, are prone to an authoritarian parenting style and destructive criticism. Classmates are often cruel and make fun of their peers.
3. Suppression in adult life at work, in love relationships. Most often, people who grew up in overprotective families find themselves in this situation. Unlike the authoritarian style of parenting, in this case children get used to being loved, constantly supported, and pleased in everything. That is, there is no criticism at all, but this has the same destructive influence as authoritarianism. A person turns out to be unprepared for adult life, work, criticism, comments.

It is important! Most often, the reason is hidden in the peculiarities of family upbringing. Moreover, a phobia can manifest itself in adulthood, but it begins in childhood.

Suffer in inaction

Worrying about what might happen under certain circumstances breeds inaction. But a strong person can curb his anxiety and begin to act according to the plan. While the weak continue to suffer endlessly, without changing anything in life.

What does an angry person look like?

• Unfriendliness
  . Coldness in relationships is the main trait of an embittered personality. A person who is always gloomy and unfriendly cannot be a good friend. They say about such people that “the eyebrows are drooping - there is anger in the thoughts.” His friends are the same irritable people, united by only one common goal - to denigrate the entire world. These people are suspicious of each other too. If any trouble happens, they will not rush to help and certainly will not lend money. But they will only angrily reprimand that they addressed (applied) to the wrong address.
• Envy
  . Anger is often combined with envy. He succeeds, but I don’t. And since bitterness is a character trait, annoyance at the success of another develops into an envious attitude towards him. A person is bad only because he does everything better. He has a different attitude towards life, one that does not give off dark, gloomy tones.
• Melancholic
  . A characteristic feature of evil people. It used to be said about such people that they had black bile - they saw everyone in a gloomy light. On this basis, hypochondria can develop, when morbid suspiciousness and suspicion appear. In communication, a hypochondriac may be lethargic, but react angrily during the conversation.
• Choleric
  . Explosive, impulsive personality. It’s better not to fall into the hands of such a “bad guy.” It might hurt. The anger will quickly subside, but the bruises will not go away soon. And it’s good if the one caught in the vicious showdown gets away with only bruises. The temperament of the interlocutor must be taken into account, especially when he is unfriendly by nature.
• "Black" thoughts
  . Those who think “darkly” present things “crookedly”. The evil one constantly speaks poorly of everyone. You will never hear a good word from him. Such a person is full of gossip. He will always find a fly in the ointment to denigrate everything: people are bad, animals too, politicians always talk utter nonsense, the world is heading towards collapse, there is no truth in life, and much more. It is not without reason that it is said that “an evil person is like coal: if it doesn’t burn, it blackens.”
• Inappropriate behavior
  . When a person is angry, he often behaves inappropriately. He does not listen to other people's opinions, interrupts his interlocutor, and may speak out of place, completely off topic. Sticks out his own judgment. This happens because a different opinion disgusts him, it only embitters him and makes him nervous. If this happens regularly, you have an evil person in front of you who should be avoided.
• Mistrust
  . An angry person always treats others badly because he does not believe that good relationships exist. He is always on the “betrayal”, the thought immediately flashes through his mind: “there is something wrong here, why would he (s) treat each other this way?” The proverb says about such people: “all the evil Natalya’s people are rascals.” Malicious people are individuals deprived of human warmth, and therefore suspicious by nature.
• Unsettled life
  . When, for example, there is discord in the family, an evil person tries to “play out” his inner spiritual breakdown on his interlocutor. This manifests itself in wry smiles, sarcastic remarks and rude remarks. Such people do not always control themselves and can spontaneously explode in a stream of abuse. So, “I’d rather go crookedly, but not go to the evil one.”
• Disease
  . A serious illness leaves its mark on one’s character. The patient becomes embittered, does not want to see anyone or engage in conversation, and abruptly interrupts the interlocutor. It is unlikely that he does this consciously. The painful condition is to blame. You need to understand this and try to behave tactfully with such a person.
• Categorical rejection of different opinions
  . An embittered person listens only to himself. The opinion of another is dangerous, since it does not agree with the moral principles of the “villain,” and they do not “smell” of good deeds at all. People have long noticed that “an evil person will not live in good times.” Such people do not want to listen to other people’s advice, so they live uncomfortably, blaming everyone around them for their unsettled life, but not themselves.

It is important to know how to deal with an angry person. You need to end your relationship with him

Otherwise, it’s more expensive for yourself - you will have to experience many bitter moments communicating with such a person. The proverb says: “To love an evil person is to destroy yourself!”

About psychological nutrition

What should you “feed” your soul? Good and kind emotions. But the majority, unfortunately, feed only the sick. Not to be confused with negative ones! Not all of them are sick. A strong soul can be cultivated through healthy emotions, and these include both positive and negative. Good and evil. Without one it would be impossible to evaluate the second. It's all about balance.

People with weak souls feed only on sick emotions. They can also be positive and negative. For example: a colleague who had always been more successful and lived a rich life suddenly found himself at the very bottom. A person with a sick soul will rejoice, because he has always envied him, but he himself did nothing. But now they are on the same level! These are sick positive emotions.

And if this colleague, on the contrary, things went uphill even more actively, then a person with a sick soul would be upset. Because someone “everything is fine, he’s lucky,” but everything is still bad for him. These are sick negative emotions. This is the principle of their life: to be happy when someone is bad, and sad when someone is good.

How to get rid of arrogance

The first step in the fight against negative manifestations of one’s personality is to recognize the existence of a problem, determine its area and the degree of damage caused, as well as the development of a deficiency.

For some, arrogance may manifest itself exclusively in a work environment, for others in all areas of life, for some it is important to show only their worth as a partner in intimate relationships, while for others it is necessary to show their uniqueness in all areas of life. It is the identification of these differences that will help determine the main vector of further changes

Since the basis of arrogance is selfishness, it is necessary to fight this trait. Practices of doing good deeds for others, participating in actions aimed at optimizing society, rather than personal goals, are good. You can set aside a day to help neighbor grandmothers or play with children in the yard, you can hold free master classes, or look for what you can give to those in need, while at the same time emptying your home. Learning to think about others and notice their needs is an important factor in getting rid of selfishness, and then you will have the ability to notice another person and adequately evaluate yourself in comparison with others, and treat without humiliation.

The second point in arrogance is the low degree of internal responsibility, because such a person can take credit for all achievements, but will never accept his shortcomings. Logical analysis helps determine where in a situation something went wrong by chance, where other people are really to blame, and where we ourselves are to blame. Internal responsibility is the most difficult factor in personal maturation, but it is precisely this that ultimately gives the freedom to be anything and express oneself in any way. So, a person free from prejudice and the need to find someone to blame, who does not need constant proof of his toughness, can be anyone, do what he wants, and most importantly, he can do it as good or bad as he likes.

For those who cannot overcome their habitual pattern of behavior on their own, but already understand that arrogance only brings harm, individual psychotherapy or participation in a psychotherapeutic group may be useful. If it is not possible to work hard on your own or psychotherapy causes wariness, then participation in a general group also helps to look at yourself from the outside, build new models of relationships or hear people’s responses regarding how they live next to such a person. With any internal work, not only your own perceptions will change, but gradually new strategies of behavior will appear.

We are on Telegram! Subscribe and be the first to know about new publications!

Sacrifice your interests for the interests of other people

Sacrifice is by no means a positive quality, as it might seem at first glance. Just the opposite. If we do not know how to defend our interests, love and respect ourselves, which, again, indicates weakness, we will never be able to give something good to those we love. We simply will not have the internal (and often material) resource for this.

Text:

Read also: What is your strength?

Share the post with your friends!

Reasons for despair in people

Unrequited love. As you know, all ages are submissive to her. Even rebellious bachelors cannot deny the fact that they have been seriously infatuated with another person at least once in their lives. The happiest people are narcissists because their self-adoration will always be rewarded. In the movie “Big Change” the song “We choose, we are chosen, how often this does not coincide” was performed, which immediately became loved by the people. Even the strongest person can be broken by unrequited love. Additional suffering for a desperate person can be brought by the happy eyes of the object of passion, which are directed in a completely different direction.

Betrayal of a loved one

If you do not take into account convinced swingers, then betrayal can be a significant blow for one of the partners. However, it is not only physical betrayal with another person that can drive the victim of betrayal into despair.

Sometimes a careless or intentional word can actually bring more trouble than an actual action. A secret told to a stranger or lack of support from a loved one in difficult times can lead a person into a state of deep disappointment, which is close in nature to despair.

The collapse of hopes. Sometimes we plan the impossible because we consider ourselves generators of brilliant ideas and natural leaders. Loving yourself is not forbidden, but a sense of proportion should always be present when analyzing your further actions. The result in this case is always sad: broken hopes and immersion in a world of painful despair.

Loss of a significant person. The death of loved ones is always a difficult test for the psyche. Not everyone is able to withstand this, because the mechanism of despair automatically turns on. Separation from a loved one without the prospect of a further meeting can lead to the same state.

Inveterate egoism. This concept should not be confused with hedonism, when a person puts life’s pleasures above all else. Caring first of all about themselves, people of this type can then readily help others. Such lively people radiate so much energy that they are always surrounded by a large number of friends. Egoists who pity, pamper and cherish themselves exclusively from morning to night very often become gloomy and bilious loners. Human nature is designed in such a way that we want not only to give, but also to receive in return. Anyone who loves only to disinterestedly share everything is either a blessed person or an altruist at the very peak of self-denial. As a result, the egoist becomes completely confused because he is left completely alone. The result is a plunge into despair, which can develop into persistent depression.

Lethargy of the soul. For people with a clear position in life, periods of despair do not drag on because the instinct of self-preservation is triggered. An amorphous person readily surrenders himself to be torn apart by fate and circumstances. His main self-justification is the confidence that fate will still overtake him always and everywhere. It is easier for such a fatalist to plunge into a whirlpool of despair than to fight for his life.

A serious and incurable disease. This misfortune can overtake both the person himself and his loved ones. In this case, people are overcome by despair, the nature of which is understandable to anyone. There is no need to say much here, because such a life situation can be beyond the capabilities of even the strongest spirit.

Important! Psychologists insist that in all of these cases you should consult a specialist. A person in despair is a direct prerequisite for suicide or mental disorder.

Signs of an inferiority complex

An inferiority complex usually has pronounced symptoms, which in itself should alert you

Such a person lives very carefully, afraid of making a mistake or behaving in some way incorrectly. He constantly tries to meet other people's expectations

For this reason, it becomes difficult to realize one’s own desires, since there is not enough mental and physical strength. Let's consider the main manifestations of an inferiority complex

What should you pay close attention to?

Diffidence

A person cannot make plans or strive to achieve a significant result, because he lacks vital resources. The emotional sphere suffers first. This leads to problems such as: the inability to make decisions on one’s own, fear of action, constant tension.

A person is not just afraid to act. He does not know in which area he should direct his efforts so that they give the expected result. Often such a person has a dream as such, but he constantly puts off its implementation until later, believing that he is not smart and talented enough for this. There is a lack of faith in one's own resources.

Constant pressure

Due to persistent self-doubt, strong emotional stress is created, which prevents you from living fully and enjoying life. It turns out that a person drives himself into a certain framework and does not allow him to be happy. An inferiority complex provokes additional worries associated with the inability to cope with the situation on one’s own. Gradually, despondency becomes the norm of life, since there is no opportunity to change anything on your own. The complex often creates muscle tension in the body and leads to emotional devastation.

Increased self-criticism

An inferiority complex forces a person to constantly look for his own shortcomings. It seems to him that for some reason he is worse than others. Gradually, the habit of comparing your achievements with the victories of friends and acquaintances is formed. The person is so fixated on his experiences that he does not notice the good things that happen around him. Increased self-criticism interferes with a happy outlook and prevents you from learning to understand individual needs and desires. In most cases, people withdraw into themselves and do not want to take any decisive steps

This is sad, especially considering the fact that a person can exist like this for many years

Belittling one's virtues

An inferiority complex forces a person to constantly find himself in a losing situation. The fact is that people set themselves up for the bad in advance. They feel like they won't succeed. Belittling your merits prevents you from feeling like a truly integral and self-sufficient person.

Such a person does not know his strengths; he sees in everything only manifestations of shortcomings. He wants to receive the support and approval of others, so he is ready to meet their expectations, not paying attention to his own needs. Belittling one's merits is a deliberately false path that leads to wasting mental strength. A person is constantly in disturbing experiences and therefore does not understand what he should direct his efforts towards.

Inferiority complex in men

An inferiority complex among representatives of the stronger sex is almost always associated with a feeling of insignificance. It seems to such a man that nothing depends on him, that circumstances are stronger than his own preferences. The complex of self-doubt in this case greatly interferes with self-realization. For a long time a person cannot understand that he is limiting himself

Since it is very important for a man to realize himself in society, he begins to feel unnecessary and lost. He no longer wants to strive for anything truly significant.

The inferiority complex in men contributes to self-absorption and fixation on one’s problems. If self-doubt prevails for a long time, then most likely the person will need psychotherapeutic help to solve the problem.

Inferiority complex in women

An inferiority complex among representatives of the fair sex is very often combined with uncertainty about their irresistibility. Such a woman often cannot start a family, she is afraid to act, to meet men. Over time, she begins to feel more and more that no one needs her. The inferiority complex in women is caused by doubts about their own attractiveness. It is this feeling that makes her hide from life and experience a feeling of uselessness.

Strong people

My friend once asked me who are my clients? — I replied that these were mostly unhappy, suffering girls and women. He said it was wrong. My clients should be prosperous people who at one stage need temporary help from a psychologist. But by helping, feeling sorry for and showing empathy for unhappy people, you will not get anything good. Neither financially nor professionally.

I thought about this question for a long time. And I made the last point while working with politicians during the recent elections. Over two months of almost daily meetings with people of different strata: from powerful current deputies to rural residents who also aspired to become deputies at the rural level, I realized that my friend was right! I experienced the most negative stress while working with “weak” people who only pretended that they wanted to change the world around them. Fuck it. Many of them don’t even want to make an effort on themselves. And this squalor wants to change the country for the better? - never in my life! There were several hundred such people. I honestly tried to help them as well as the strong ones. But all in vain. I was upset, angry at myself, at them. I was looking for a key and an approach to them. But I was forced to admit that if a person does not want to do good even for himself (yes, having spent effort on it) - I simply am not needed here.

Do you know how to deal with the weak? - they need to be commanded. It's stupid to give orders. Just say, do this and that. Without dialogue, without any reflection. Without asking what they think, what they feel. When you begin to dialogue with them, they suspect that you want to take away their sacred inaction. Therefore, I say - command! Just command a weak person. Don't think about whether you hurt him with this attitude or not. Do not worry. Command! Manage. And they like it. This is the only language they understand. This is a slave language. He is native to them.