What is takeshika?
Takeshika is the science of touch. This includes physical contact in the form of handshakes, hugs, kisses, etc. Everyone has knowledge of the basics of this science. The only exceptions are some nuances inherent in different cultures.
Takesika has the same root as the word “tactile” (from the Latin tactilis - tangible). The term "takeshika" (with an emphasis on the e) is also used to refer to the area of psychology that studies the characteristics of touch.
Even in the womb, we become sensitive to touch. Already by the second month of pregnancy, the tactile analyzer begins to function in the fetus. Gentle touches to a pregnant woman’s belly tell the baby that he is loved and welcomed. If the expectant mother constantly talks and strokes her belly, soon he begins to “respond” to her with pushes. Takeshika is the science of touch in psychology, but its basics are known to each of us from birth.
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The system of human communication is much more complicated than we used to think.
There is a whole list of extra-linguistic means that convey to others our attitude towards them, desire or reluctance to communicate.
One such remedy is takeshika .
What is takeshika?
This word has the same root as the concept of “tactile”, which comes from the Latin tactilis - tangible.
That is, takeshika is a non-verbal means of communication based on tangible signals transmitted by people to each other.
These include kissing, hugging, patting, stroking, shaking hands and other communicative actions.
People of different genders, nationalities and ages have different norms for using touch in communication. But they have one thing in common - most of the elements of takeshiki are intended for close, family, and friendly contact.
Takesika, like proxemics, exists separately from any language and is understandable to most of the population of our planet - with the exception of some nuances due to traditions in a particular culture. Let's look at different examples and uses of tactile communication.
Embrace
When meeting, they symbolize the emotional connection between the interlocutors. This is how close friends, relatives, lovers, parents and children greet each other. The nature of the “hugs” depends on how close these people are to each other. In especially cordial relationships or after a long separation, the hugs are tight until the ribs crunch.
During friendly meetings of a more respectable nature, hugs are quick and may be accompanied by a passing handshake or pat on the shoulder.
There are unspoken gender rules for hugs: a man hugs a woman by the waist, and a woman hugs him by the shoulders and neck. You can put your arm around a friend’s shoulder during a heart-to-heart conversation over a glass of tea, as this signifies special trust and willingness to support. This is a subconscious allegory - carrying a wounded friend from the battlefield, the friend throws his arm over his shoulder.
Kisses
They play the same role as hugs, but are more intimate and close in nature. This is especially true for kissing on the lips. In our culture, only a couple or two girlfriends can kiss on the lips (for some reason this is fashionable today). In other cases, such a manifestation of love and friendship is considered unacceptable. Kissing on the lips between men or relatives is equated with homosexuality and incest, is condemned by society and can even completely ruin life.
It is interesting that in many countries (especially the Middle East), kissing men when meeting, even on the lips, is quite normal.
Cheek kisses have a wider range of social connections - this is how spouses, lovers, relatives, boyfriends and girlfriends greet each other.
In the Slavic tradition, greeting kisses have a special meaning, which is almost lost today. The triple “cross” kiss was an ancient Easter ritual; it was also used when men met, thus expressing respect and friendship to each other.
Before the handshake came from Europe to Russia and other Slavic countries, a hug and a kiss were the only ways to express affection for a relative and friend - especially long-awaited meetings between two men could be accompanied by kisses on the cheek or lips.
Kisses have a long and complicated history - at different times they symbolized different relationships. The original demonstration of friendship and respect in many cultures underwent a period of hierarchical symbolism: noble men kissed each other on the lips, while lower subordinates were kissed on the cheek.
The greater the social gap between two people, the farther from the lips the place where you had to kiss was located - on the hand, knee, foot, shoe. And the most powerless (slaves) had to be content with the land on which the master passed. This is where the expression “kissing the ground under your feet” comes from, meaning that a person in love deifies his passion and is ready for any humiliation just to be close.
And, although today we consider a kiss to be the prerogative of lovers, in the historical context everything happened exactly the opposite: at first the kiss was a symbol of friendship and respect, and then it became an element of flirtation. When the fashion arose at European balls to end each dance with a kiss, it gradually became part of the courtship ritual.
Handshake
It appeared in Ancient Rome even before the birth of Christ and initially carried a gesture indicating that a person did not have a knife in his hand, since many hired killers hid a dagger in their sleeve. And in order to determine how sincere the interlocutor’s peaceful statements were, it was necessary to feel his right hand (most often used in battle).
This is how the familiar handshake appeared, which is now used as a symbol of business communication and male friendship. But today we will not delve into the intricacies of business etiquette.
Patting and stroking
Called to express support, approval, sympathy. In condolences with grief, we pat or stroke a friend on the shoulder, subconsciously communicating our readiness to lend a shoulder.
But patting during hugs is of a completely different nature. If, when meeting, one of the friends pats the other on the back, it means that he wants to distance himself and hugs his friend purely for the sake of formality. If this happens on the part of a man towards a woman, and especially already during an ongoing romance, then this is a reason to seriously think about the true intentions of the gentleman.
Walking hand in hand, arm in arm, in an embrace
Carries a message of close relationships. “This man is mine,” it says. But who is “mine”—a friend, a lover, a relative—depends on the very method of walking together. The closest connection involves “defilering” with an arm around the waist. Only couples in love and girl friends can afford this (as in the story with kisses).
There are many nuances to sign language, and if we tried to consciously learn them all, we would spend as much time as learning Chinese. Fortunately, such efforts are not required from us - tactile communication occurs on a subconscious level. We begin to assimilate it at the same time we explore the world and learn the magic of emotional contacts - in early childhood.
Thanks to such deep “firmware” in our brain, we often don’t even think about why we perform certain actions. At such moments, we are controlled by emotions and emotional experiences that break through in friendly or, conversely, aloof gestures towards the interlocutor.
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Handshake
It is used in greetings and farewells. There are business, love, friendly and ritual handshakes.
This is a demonstration of goodwill on both sides. Men use a handshake regularly, but women tend to use it only in business. A handshake between a man and a woman is allowed. However, in Muslim countries the latter is prohibited.
A firm handshake with an emotional exclamation indicates that the person is sincerely glad to see you. This is also evidenced by the clasping of the interlocutor's hand with two palms. This is a signal that the person is extremely honest and frank. But a “dead” hand means that they don’t want to contact you.
If the hand is turned palm down, the person strives to dominate the interlocutor. Up - he is unconsciously ready for submission. This happens at the level of instincts.
An aggressive person is identified by a handshake with his arm straightened at the elbow - in this way he tries to keep his opponent at a distance. Squeezing your fingertips says the same thing, but in addition reveals a lack of confidence in your own abilities.
Other types of nonverbal communication
In addition to takeshiki, experts identify several other means of nonverbal communication:
- kinesics (gait, posture, facial expressions, gestures);
- proxemics (distance and orientation).
The main feature of “non-verbal” is that it is difficult for us to control our body during communication. When talking, it itself reveals our feelings and emotions, even if we don’t want it.
Gait and posture can say a lot about a person. However, the distance he maintains when talking is the same. Knowledge of the basics of kinesics can help characterize a personality and identify the pros and cons of a character. Takesika is accessible and understandable to each of us. Although it does not provide such complete information about the interlocutor.
A few examples that reveal the sincerity of the interlocutor:
- “Closed” and “open” postures show how much the interlocutor is committed to communication and how much he trusts you.
- A “running” look betrays shame or lies.
- Sweaty palms and hand activity (tapping fingers on the table, fiddling with a ring, etc.) – anxiety and nervousness.
Embrace
Hugs stimulate the release of the hormone oxytocin into the blood. It is also called the “love hormone”. It has a very positive effect on the psyche and has an anti-stress effect. Oxytocin plays an important role in the formation of maternal affection and sexual desire.
The strength of a hug shows the depth of emotional attachment. Strong and warm hugs indicate strong affection, while cold and restrained hugs indicate its absence.
It is noteworthy that the stronger sex is more prone to “hugging” than the weaker sex. Women resort to them only during strong emotional outbursts. There are many variations of hugs. Each of them has its own hidden, subconscious meaning.
For example, a man hugging a girl around the waist gives her a feeling of support. At the same time, the girl gets the opportunity to lean away and press closer to him. If he wraps his arms around her, as if covering her with himself, this indicates that he is able to protect her. But I’m used to deciding for myself and for her. A cross hug indicates an equal relationship. But if a gentleman pats you on the back during a hug, this indicates that he is not serious about you. Most likely, he treats you in a friendly manner.
A hug from behind speaks of a man's serious intention to protect his beloved. This means that he really experiences a deep feeling.
Takeshika also includes other methods of physical communication. Let's look at them below.
