What is love
Women's opinion
Most women believe that if a man loves her, she will certainly feel and see it. A person in love, in the view of the fair half of humanity, constantly shows signs of attention to the object of sympathy. If a guy rarely calls, rarely invites you on dates, is not particularly generous, and is not interested in the girl’s affairs, then she will think that the boyfriend does not have serious feelings for her.
Most often, women believe that a man’s love is manifested in the actions that they are ready to do for the sake of their chosen ones. Material confirmation of feelings is also important - even if a guy makes small surprises for his beloved, she understands that, most likely, she is not indifferent to him. Also, a woman is usually convinced that a man in love will not be interested in someone else, and if she catches him flirting with a certain lady, then it is quite possible that she will lose faith in his love.
Men's opinion
The overwhelming number of men agree with women in the opinion that love inevitably implies care and various signs of attention. In part, they expect from their chosen one the attitude that their mother showed towards them. In their opinion, a loving woman should be interested in the affairs of her loved one, not deny him intimacy, admire him, listen to his opinion, and the like.
From a psychological point of view
Love comes in different forms, and everyone can express this feeling in their own way. For example, a man may feel an all-consuming and passionate love for one woman. Being infatuated with this woman, he will always strive for physical possession of her.
Over time, feelings may fade away, and the same man will fall in love with another woman, but this time the nature of his love will manifest itself differently - sexual interest will not be expressed as clearly as before, and now the man will strive to take care of his chosen one, patronage.
That is, a man can experience completely different feelings for different women throughout his life, but every time it will be love.
#8: Are you ready to change your life for her?
There are not many options on what to do if you fall in love with a girl. If it’s mutual, then you will be together, and if not, then you either achieve her or switch to another. It all depends on the strength of feelings. You are seriously in love if you have these signs:
- You are ready to change jobs, the city is not a problem, the main thing is that you are together.
- You used to relax with friends, but now you want to spend more time with her.
- You're glad to change your habits: run like her in the morning. Exchange a comfortable stay in a hotel for a trip with a tent or to her relatives in a remote village.
Signs of a person in love
So, you feel like you're in love with someone, but how can you tell for sure? There are several obvious signs.
1. Suspiciousness
You think for a long time about every random phrase thrown by the object of your sympathy, trying to find some secret and very important meaning in it. You can interpret ordinary words in a completely unexpected way - both for the better and for the worse for yourself. Even if the guy just said “Hello!” to you, you try again and again to remember the intonation with which the greeting was said to determine how your lover treats you.
2. Curiosity
You are trying to find out as much information as possible about the past and present of the man you like. You are interested in literally everything that has to do with him - who he has met before, where he works, what he is interested in, who he is friends with, what his character is. Subsequently, you can go further - find the guy’s ex-lover on the Internet, study her page in detail, trying to understand what attracted the chosen one to this girl.
3. Jealousy
You find it unbearable to think that the person you love could be attracted to someone other than you. It is unpleasant for you if he shows signs of attention to someone, and you react painfully to information that he is interested in someone. If your chosen one is registered on social networks, you carefully study his profile in order to find out with whom he communicates most.
4. Ingenuity
If in the near future you do not have reasons for meetings and correspondence, you yourself try to find them, or even invent them. Knowing where the object of your affection works or studies, you can “completely accidentally” end up in that area. Also, you will not miss the opportunity to write a message or call the guy you like, even if the reason for this seems very unconvincing.
5. Unusual behavior
In the presence of your lover, you behave completely differently than usual, and at the same time two extremes can be noted. In the first case, you begin to feel shy and withdrawn into yourself; sometimes it is physically difficult for you to start a conversation with the person you have fallen in love with. As a rule, such changes in behavior are immediately noticed by mutual friends. In the second case, you begin to show unprecedented activity. You want to impress your loved one - you start talking loudly and a lot, joke out of place, laugh often and fuss.
6. Change of mood
You are increasingly observing yourself changing moods. You can spend the whole morning, smiling happily, pondering what the prospects for your potential relationship might be. After just a couple of hours, you may be in a gloomy and depressed mood, without receiving the desired sign of attention from your lover, or even for no apparent reason. If you don’t yet know whether your love is mutual, then you may constantly be thrown from a feeling of euphoria to absolute confusion and emptiness.
7. Desire to become better
You want to delight the man you love and please him. Pursuing such a goal, a woman often decides to change her style, and often they can be very unusual. Now you spend more time in front of the mirror, carefully selecting your wardrobe and thinking through your makeup.
8. Willingness to “adapt” to his taste
Did you find out that your lover used to prefer to date dark-haired girls, but you yourself are a platinum blonde? The information revealed can push you to make decisive changes and force you to go to the hairdresser to change your hair color. Did you find out that the guy you like is interested in football? Even if you were previously far from the world of sports, now you are starting to become interested in which players play on your favorite team and on what days the matches take place. Such examples can relate to almost everything - appearance, character, manner of dressing, hobbies, and the like.
#4: Changing your emotional state
Signs that you have fallen in love appear in your inner state. Everyone around you notices that you have become a different person, and these signals are to blame:
- Euphoria, causeless joy, good mood. Sometimes one meeting, just her look, a gentle conversation in the morning is enough to give you a crazy boost of energy for the whole day.
- Change of mood. Sometimes you yourself don’t understand why you suddenly became silent and gloomy. A little later it dawns on you that the matter is in her careless word or in the fact that today she gathered with her friends to relax. Minor little things make you furious and make you feel powerless.
- Increased emotionality. You become unstable and dependent. Too much depends on what kind of relationship you are in now, how long ago you saw each other.
- Fear that she doesn't like you, doesn't love you, or loves you less than you love her.
- You want to be better for her.
Love or infatuation - what's the difference?
Of course, love and being in love are not the same thing! What are the key differences between these feelings that some people often confuse?
How to recognize love
- Love does not appear suddenly, out of nowhere - it is simply impossible. It appears gradually, occupying more and more space in your life. By communicating with a person again and again, and getting to know him from new sides, you understand that your feeling for him is becoming deeper and more conscious.
- It may take months or years to get rid of this feeling - it slowly establishes itself in your life, and also gradually leaves it.
- If you are in love, then you are not capable of being carried away by another person for a while. Your chosen one is the only man in whom you are sincerely interested.
- You do not idealize your lover, but clearly see all his shortcomings. Nevertheless, you accept that your loved one is not ideal, and appreciate him exactly as he is, without trying to “fit” him into some perfect image of yourself.
- Love makes you better. You find inspiration for new achievements. Even if your loved one chose not you, but you know that he is happy, then you are not angry or jealous - you completely accept this outcome.
Differences between infatuation and love
- Falling in love can swell instantly. Just yesterday you did not know about the existence of this person, but today you are already imagining how you will marry him and give birth to children.
- This feeling can disappear from life as quickly as it flared up. Having been disappointed in your chosen one, you can be sad or cry for a couple of days, but having met an equally interesting guy, turn your attention to him and plunge headlong into a new romance.
- If a girl declares that she loves two young men at the same time, and does not know how to decide on her feelings, then in fact there is no love in her life. There is love, infatuation, lust, passion, but not love.
- You tend to idealize the guy you like. Subsequently, you begin to understand that this person is not what you imagined him to be before, and you may even say: “You are not the one I fell in love with.” This is true, you were fascinated by a fictitious image that did not have much in common with a real person. Now you got to know this guy better and the former charm with him began to melt away.
- Sometimes you realize that this feeling is destroying you. You become irritable or jealous, making more and more claims to your lover. You may also fall into a state of depression if the guy does not live up to the expectations placed on him.
Ability to resolve conflicts
A relationship in which love arises is not a stage. There is no place for dramas, overblown tragedies, or acting skills. If such a couple has a problem, she prefers to solve everything peacefully. Peaceful means without throwing knives and plates, playing games of silence, visiting parents, throwing things over the balcony and screams that only the deaf cannot hear.
These partners will resolve conflicts through conversations, attempts to understand each other, and find a common mutually beneficial solution.
Another fact: the prerequisites for quarrels are inevitable. Two people, different in character, upbringing, views, trying to share housing, everyday life, will sometimes encounter differences and misunderstandings. This is fine. If there are no disagreements at all in a relationship, this means that people hush up their dissatisfaction or live not with the partner himself, but with invented fantasies about him.
How to determine that these are real feelings and not a habit
1.
Think about it: would you want to build a relationship with this person if you initially knew all his shortcomings and could roughly guess how your relationship would develop in the future? If love lives in your heart, then you will answer this question in the affirmative.
2.
Also, in order to dispel doubts, you can imagine next to you a man who, according to your ideas, can be called ideal. Determine for yourself, would you exchange your chosen one for this “perfect” person? If your relationship is more about habit than love, then you will choose an unattainable ideal.
3.
Another good test would be a separate vacation. If you understand that you are quite comfortable without your chosen one, you don’t want to share the brightest moments of your journey with him, then probably your love for him has passed.
4.
If you increasingly catch yourself thinking that you like another man or the objects of your affection are constantly changing, then, apparently, only habit is keeping you with your current boyfriend or husband.
Types of night rest disturbances
Sleep disturbance is manifested by difficulty falling asleep and frequent waking up or, conversely, drowsiness. Types of sleep disorders:
- Insomnia is a sleep disorder characterized by difficulty falling asleep or waking up frequently.
- Hypersomnia – increased sleepiness.
- Parasomnia is a malfunction of organs and systems associated with sleep.
The most common sleep disorder is insomnia. In everyday life it is simply called insomnia. All types of sleep disorders require treatment after examination using polysomnography.
What should I do if I'm in love and he doesn't notice?
Get his attention.
Of course, if the young man who is attracted to you does not notice you, then the most logical thing would be to try to attract his attention. If you are unfamiliar, then find him on a social network and write a message. To get started, just try to make acquaintances. If you already know each other and see each other periodically, then you have a chance to attract him with a change in your image.
Find out about his tastes.
We can talk about both his hobbies and the girls he liked before. try to determine which type is most preferable for him, whether you have anything in common with this type and whether you can somehow get closer to him. also find out what the guy is passionate about. Perhaps these hobbies will seem interesting to you, and subsequently you will become close precisely on this basis.
Find new interests.
Try to become more interesting for your chosen one, since he is not yet showing interest. You can find many exciting hobbies that will increase your self-esteem and present you in a new light in the eyes of your lover.
Hyper-emotionality
A girl in love becomes sentimental and sensitive. She constantly experiences emotional surges, which are caused by a number of physiological processes in the body.
Read also: How to repair a crack in a mirror
The body perceives psycho-emotional swings as severe stress. Candidate of Sciences, Doctor of Social Psychology Timothy Jay Loving and his colleagues found that a girl in love increases the level of cortisol (a hormone that protects the body from stress). When a young lady experiences exclusively sexual interest in a guy, the level of the hormone does not exceed the norm.
During the period of falling in love, the subconscious reacts to the production of cortisol - the body produces oxytocin in high doses - one of the hormones of happiness and pleasure. When lovers hug and kiss, the level of oxytocin increases rapidly. Psychological tension subsides, a girl in love experiences trust in her lover, tenderness and care.
If the guy is much younger or older
Such relationships have their pros and cons. Let's look at them in more detail.
Pros and cons if the guy is older
Both boys and girls see benefits in such relationships. Many men like to feel like they are leading in a relationship, to be a mentor and patron for their chosen one, and it is easier to achieve this in a relationship with a partner who is much younger. Young girls also often strive for relationships with older guys - as a rule, such chosen ones are much more successful than the girl’s peers, can share life experience, stand confidently on their feet and are able to provide financial support.
The disadvantages of such relationships often stem from their advantages. As she grows older, the girl no longer needs the advice and support of a man, and she begins to be annoyed by his guardianship and authoritarianism.
Pros and cons if the guy is younger
Recently, more and more often there are couples in which the girl is much older than her partner. Disillusioned with their peers, tired of their busy careers and pragmatism, girls begin to look for romance, and often lovers who turn out to be younger than them can provide them with such feelings. Guys see their advantages in such a relationship - they like that their partner is more experienced and in many ways seems more interesting to them than their peers - while the chosen one, most often, looks no worse than them, and in some ways is superior.
The disadvantage for a woman can be a feeling of self-doubt. It begins to seem to her that the guy will soon get tired of such a romance, and he will turn his attention to younger girls.
#6: You think about her often
If you are not yet ready to say “I fell in love with a girl!”, but at the same time she is constantly in your head, then you are most likely deceiving yourself. Pay attention to these signals:
- Simple things remind of her.
- You remember her every hour. The first thing you think about when you wake up and fall asleep is her.
- You try things she likes. You try to live up to her ideal, to get to know her interests and hobbies better.
- She is the first person you would like to share good news with.
- You have been buzzing all the ears of your family and friends about her.
Unrequited love
Many women face unrequited feelings, but if you put in some effort, you can overcome it. Spend time with your friends more often, meet new people, occupy your days with interesting activities, and you will have less and less opportunity and desire to indulge in thoughts about a failed relationship.
A change of environment can also help you. Go on an exciting journey - you will probably come back with completely different thoughts.
The most important thing is not to get hung up on a person who is not interested in you. Stop following his life and don't try to get in touch with him if he doesn't want to. Also, stop stalking or calling him intrusively. The best thing you can do for yourself now is to completely erase him from your life. Otherwise, you risk being depressed for a long time.
Unusual Conversations
When a person starts communicating with someone he likes, non-standard conversations always begin that will be noticeable. There are two common options:
1) A huge number of questions begin to be asked, attempts are made to joke and a desire to demonstrate one’s intellectual level. The manner of conversation when falling in love will always be noticeable, because a person is rarely at ease, he experiences a certain discomfort.
2) Well-read people turn into stupid sheep who cannot connect a few words with each other. The reason for this is trivial experiences. Therefore, if someone cannot collect their thoughts normally, you should not judge them; perhaps we are talking about falling in love.
Statistics and interesting facts
- As it turns out, when meeting guys, they often pay attention to their face rather than their figure. If they like a girl’s face, then this is enough to fall in love, even if her figure is far from perfect.
- Most often, a guy's sympathy can be aroused by a girl whose facial features he finds something in common with his own facial features. In general, any coincidence in hobbies and outlook on life can provoke the appearance of falling in love.
- Having fallen in love, a person becomes more absent-minded.
- Communication with a loved one can cause a special reaction in a guy or girl, similar to intoxication.
#5: You want to look better
When you don’t know what to do, if you fall in love with a girl, then first admit this condition. In addition, those around you most likely have long noticed your feelings based on these signs:
- You’ve started to dress better; you no longer care what clothes you wear to meet your friends or your girlfriend.
- You make sure you look neat. A daily shower and good perfume have become the norm, which is admired by others. You would never wear yesterday's T-shirt to a public place where there is a risk of meeting a girl.
- You started eliminating physical deficiencies. Corrected my bite, my figure, changed my glasses to contact lenses, took care of my posture. You want to look your best for her.
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