Happy family - what is it, basic qualities, what makes a family happy, values

For many people, a happy family is one of the most important priorities in life. However, what and how it is built is not written in school textbooks, so newlyweds often face many problems when developing their recipe for an ideal relationship. There are tips from psychologists that are important to apply correctly in relationships with your family and friends.

What is a happy family?

The philosophical concept of happiness is a very vague feeling. In general terms, it can be described as an individual’s internal feeling of the joy of being. From this we can conclude that a happy family is a unit of society in which each individual feels joy from living together than if he existed separately. Many psychologists understand the concept of what a happy family means as a state of love and harmony between all its members.

Basic qualities of a happy family

There is a common saying that all happy families are equally happy, but every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. With this folk wisdom, the ancestors tried to convey to the newlyweds that there are signs of a happy family that are unchanged for every generation. In such a union the following qualities must be present:

1. Respect, which is considered the basis of a strong marriage. Not only spouses, but also children of parents and vice versa should respect each other.
2. Trust between husband and wife and in relationships with children is also very important. Total control, constant surveillance and checks are a signal of both the ill health of the relationship itself and the psychological problems of one or both partners.
3. In a happy family, all its members must have tolerance. This manifests itself in ordinary routine life in one territory, when different people have their own habits, characteristics and habits.

What makes a family happy?

Psychologists understand the concept of family happiness as the successful implementation of the following functions:

1. The economic and household
   unit, that is, the unit of society, is built on the successful division between all family members of responsibilities for its life support: who earns money and brings food, cooks and cleans.
2. Reproductive
   . Many are convinced that the union of a man and a woman will be incomplete without their continuation in children.
3. Educational
   . That is, the mother and father must take on the responsibilities of raising and raising their own children and educating them.
4. Recreational
   . At home, among loved ones, parents and children should take a break from external worries and problems.
5. Emotional-spiritual
   . In a family, each individual must develop spiritually, exchange emotions and find support and respect.
6. Sexy
   . The key to a strong relationship is harmony in the intimate life of the spouses.
7. Social
   . Happy parents and children can be considered full members of society.

Confidence

Trust is a wonderful quality that you cannot do without in family life. When a husband and wife avoid jealousy and suspicion, they experience happiness and peace in their hearts.

Trust is closely related to loyalty. Cheating undermines trust and breaks the close bonds of marriage. It may take years before trust is restored. Honesty in relationships gives a feeling of security.

Wives and husbands whose life partner allowed himself to show signs of attention on the side experience pain and anxiety. Flirting is not cheating, but it does destroy trust.

A happy marriage is not a luxury, but a necessity. Great relationships can be achieved through the qualities of respect, gratitude, patience, cooperation and trust.

Author: Sergey Tumanov

Family values ​​of a happy family

The main guarantee of happiness in a family is the presence of unshakable and revered values:

1. Belonging to one's group
   . Every child and parent should know and feel that he is loved and needed by his family.
2. Reasonable flexibility in relationships
   . Rules and boundaries are necessary, but situations in life are different, so it is important to be flexible with loved ones.
3. Respect or complete acceptance of the feelings
   , needs and thoughts of another person, but not to the detriment of one’s own life guidelines.
4. Honesty
   , without which it is impossible to create a long and strong union. Any lie will sooner or later come true and cause a crack in an alliance that lasts years and even decades.
5. Forgiveness and generosity
   . It is important for spouses and their children to be able to forgive each other in minor quarrels, to try to give without asking for anything in return.
6. Communication and traditions
   . Happy are those spouses who always have something to talk about. A successful family is one that has beloved and unchanging traditions.
7. Responsibility for both your own affairs and actions
   , and the life steps of loved ones and relatives.

7 golden rules for happy families: advice from a psychologist and “golden” couples

Source: Lisa (lisa.ru), Moscow, September 29, 2020

In every couple, the man and woman want to be happy. Warm, trusting relationships are the same reliable rear, support and support. Let's find out what the secret is to a long, happy relationship.

Not every couple manages to feel complete harmony and feel bright emotions over the course of many years. But on the other hand, this is partly normal. It is impossible to be at the peak of emotions, joy, love all the time - it is exhausting. And yet, I don’t want to sit in the swamp of routine either. How to find the golden mean? We talk about the main secrets of “golden” couples and give useful advice to those who dream of living a long, happy life in marriage.

They do not allow a commanding tone

A life together in which one of the partners constantly tries to command, point and morally suppress the other will never bring happiness. If at a young age one of the two is still ready to turn a blind eye to this, then a mature person is unlikely to want to tolerate such an attitude.

Some of you may earn more, some may invest more effort in home improvement, caring for children and elderly parents, but all this is not a reason to feel and show your superiority over your loved ones. Equality and mutual respect are one of the main secrets of happy, harmonious relationships.

They build relationships on trust

If family life takes place in an atmosphere of complete trust and mutual understanding, this always makes the partners happy. Do not waste time on various suspicions and doubts - leave more space in life for love, tenderness and passion. What could be better than the confidence that your loved one will always understand, support and never deceive?

Mistrust destroys love, but confidence in each other, on the contrary, allows it to last for many years and fill every day of the life of a married couple with happiness. If life together gives a man and a woman a lot of positive emotions, it means that there will definitely be a place for the most vivid sensations.

Polezhaeva Sofya Sergeevna, psychologist of the Moscow Service for Psychological Assistance to the Population

Quarrels happen, but they should not destroy relationships. Disagreements and verbal battles don't mean the marriage is over - it's normal that sometimes people have a hard time coming to an agreement. Show respect and care: never be late, take care of your spouse during illness and difficult times. Kiss each other more often and say words of love and gratitude. Love each other unconditionally! You will succeed. Be happy!

They fight... right!

Love is destroyed not only by monotony, routine and everyday life, but also by constant mutual claims, resentments, and bickering. If spouses disrespect each other too often or harbor unspoken grievances, sooner or later their love will fade. But calm conversations, avoiding insults and accusations help maintain warmth and mutual care in the relationship. In addition, partners will even be able to look at each other in a new way and fall in love with each other again if they decide to abandon rudeness and excessive selfishness and begin to solve their problems with patience and respect.

The secret to successful problem solving is constant dialogue, respectful messages about what causes discomfort: “It upsets me when I see dirty shoes on a clean floor.” Always talk to each other, listen carefully, remembering that silent people may only seem attractive initially. It is impossible to live a happy life with a person who is incapable of constructive dialogue.

They love to hug

Oddly enough, this is one of the main secrets of strong married couples! Unfortunately, many partners, when they have lived together for a long time, begin to believe that touching and hugging is completely unnecessary. The routine evening kiss becomes almost the only manifestation of tenderness. This is a big mistake, since it is frequent tactile contact that prevents spouses from getting out of the habit of being close to each other.

There is a scientific explanation for this - during tactile contact (especially “skin to skin”) the hormone oxytocin is released, which forms warm relationships and affection. Why not a love potion with your own hands?

Have you noticed how happy a man and a woman look when they walk holding hands or hugging? How touching and sometimes even surprising is it when a very old couple behaves in exactly the same way? Surprise arises precisely because we are not often able to observe such reverent and harmonious relationships in adulthood. And it is these couples who feel the happiest.

Try touching each other more often, hugging each other, stroking each other, kissing each other. Such tactile manifestations of love will help maintain warmth in communication, and when the relationship cools down, they will return it.

Sushkov Faina Borisovna and Arkady Sergeevich:

On September 22, 2022, we celebrated our 58th wedding anniversary. When we try to formulate the secrets of our happy life, some secret meaning of love is lost. We have lived our entire lives overcoming difficulties. Together, together. We never asked each other for help and support - it was a given. While I was in graduate school, my precious husband looked after our three children, helped around the house, and supported me in everything. A few years later, he also took up science, and then it was my turn to devote more time to home and children. We always had many friends, and we lived on the principle of mutual assistance and support. Probably, the foundations of these principles were laid in our youth, when my husband and I were fond of tourism and mountaineering - it is impossible to do without trust and mutual assistance in these sports. Even today we try to live an active life: we love to visit theaters, exhibitions, museums, and travel around Russia. Until the spring of this year, we attended dance classes under the Moscow Longevity program, it really helped us stay cheerful and active!

They have common interests

Exciting joint activities always bring people together. Think about how touching it is when a man and woman, who have lived together for many years, still try to be near each other as often as possible and look for something that they both enjoy. You can safely be proud of such relationships. It is not so important that this is a hobby for gardening or extreme sports.

In a relationship where both strive to spend time together and experience vivid emotions from their favorite common activity, there will always be a place for warmth, understanding and love.

As part of the “Moscow Longevity” project, older Muscovites attend clubs and sections for free in various areas of activity, including sports, intellectual and creative. Everyone will be able to choose something for themselves, as well as for spending time together.

Creative couples can attend dance classes, vocal lessons, and begin to master theater or drawing. Couples who prefer physical activity can do gymnastics, yoga, Zumba, and Nordic walking classes together with the project’s sports trainers. For those who strive to gain new knowledge, Moscow Longevity offers intellectual clubs on history, art, psychology, financial and legal literacy, foreign language classes and much more.

At the moment, most of the classes of the Moscow Longevity project are held online using modern communication platforms. Teachers and project supervisors will help you connect and explain all the technical nuances. Women over 55 years old and men over 60 years old can sign up for the Moscow Longevity project. Registration for online classes takes place by phone; to do this, you need to call the nearest Territorial Social Service Center. Phone numbers can be found on the website mos.ru/age. Classes in the Moscow Longevity project are absolutely free.

In addition, in Moscow there is a new format of social institutions for the older generation, “My Social Center” (MSC). This is a new approach to organizing free time, developing club activities, and supporting social activity based on common interests and values ​​of the target audience.

The new club space has opened up wide opportunities for creative self-realization, development, free time and self-organization of the older generation. This is a place of lively communication and good neighborliness, where the main organizers of activities and hosts are the residents themselves, who form the program, fill the space and hold meetings and events that are interesting to them.

The infrastructure of the institutions is thought out taking into account the various interests of guests. The MSC has an assembly hall for master classes, concerts and parties; multifunctional sports hall; a noisy living room for fun games; a quiet lounge for chess tournaments and literary clubs; as well as a media lounge for sharing movies or computer literacy lessons; culinary studio.

More than 3.5 thousand activities have already been organized in the My Social Center club spaces. All services of the centers are free for visitors.

During the spring self-isolation period, institutions did not stop operating. Citizens continued to communicate and lead an active lifestyle online. The most popular platforms for communication are WhatsApp, ZOOM and Skype.

Since September 28, members of the older generation have been advised to stay at home. Therefore, most self-organized clubs have returned to the online space. Also, for regular and new visitors to the MSC, active participants in the project have prepared a series of online activities in various areas. You can follow the schedule of the online program on the website of the Department of Labor and Social Protection of the Population of Moscow.

They say "thank you"

The ability to appreciate what you have and be grateful for the kindness, love and years spent together help maintain harmony in a couple. Over time, many spouses get so used to each other that they cease to understand how valuable this relationship is, and how valuable each of them is in itself.

Don't forget to thank each other for any service, even the most insignificant. Do not take your loved one and the fact that he lives with you for granted. You yourself turn your life into a routine and prevent the preservation of love when, for example, you brush off your partner’s request because he can definitely wait. Would you have brushed aside his request at a time when everything was just beginning between you?

The willingness to immediately come to each other’s aid, the desire to respond kindly to kindness and the ability to give thanks - all this does not allow tenderness and love to leave the relationship over time.

They don't live in the past

People often yearn for the past, both young and old. However, in youth, for obvious reasons, nostalgia is not yet so strong - a person may regret some moments, but he is not yet able to feel all the pain of missed opportunities and the realization of how many years are left behind.

Sometimes a state of melancholy takes over a person so strongly that he begins to endlessly replay in his head the idea that everything could have been different. He remembers his previous partners or all the mistakes he made in relationships, his grievances towards his partner. Because of this, of course, relationships suffer - what kind of love can we talk about if you even want to change the past?

To maintain strong emotions in a relationship, it is very important to let go of the past and live in the present. Memories, regrets and illusions call love (and life!) into question and force you to constantly look back, not to notice what is happening in the present.

Everything changes…

Remember that relationships are not the same throughout life. Even those relationships in which the partners could not stand even an hour without each other will not remain unchanged. Passion cannot always be maintained at the same level, but this does not mean that over time it will necessarily completely disappear from the relationship, and it will become impossible to return even some part of it. Partners need to learn to accept inevitable changes, adapt to these changes, and grow and change together.

It is impossible to live a happy and harmonious life without making the slightest effort. You build your own reality. Only you are responsible for how happily you live every day, and whether there is room in it for love, tenderness and passion.

Principles of a happy family according to the Bible

In many religions, a large, happy family is considered the standard of a righteous life. The Bible, like other religious books, contains the basic principles of its construction. These include:

1. Choosing a single partner for life. Divorce is not encouraged in Christianity. It is believed that God blesses people for marriage once, although there are exceptions.
2. Recognition and respect for each other. The man is considered the head of the family, who is obliged to take care of his wife, and the woman is the mistress of the house.
3. Intimate life is the connecting link for spouses. Infidelity and other forms of manifestation of sexual energy outside the marital bed are unacceptable.
4. Children born in a legal marriage should be raised in love and understanding. The offspring, who see the honor and respect of their parents, will be able to create their own happy union.

Enemies of family relationships

Many things interfere with a woman’s family happiness. The enemies of family happiness are not only people. We ourselves prevent our family from becoming that warm and cozy place to which we want to return.

So, the 5 most common enemies of family happiness according to psychologists:

• You expect your spouse to read your mind and do as you want. But not a single person has learned this yet. Exit - Voice your expectations, talk about what is painful.
• The wife treats her husband conscientiously. A man doesn't like to be used. He also wants love and respect just like you. Solution - Don't take your husband for granted. Give thanks for what he did for you and for the family.
• A woman manipulates sex - encourages, motivates, refuses sex if... her husband does what she demands of him. Men are sensitive in this matter. If his wife does not give him sexual satisfaction, then he will find one who will. Solution - Do not deny a man intimacy, be intimate with him as often as required.
• Ignoring the problem distances it. You become like strangers to each other. The solution is to try to solve the problem. This brings you closer together and you will become a little closer to each other.
• Everyday life - don’t let everyday problems kill your relationship. Way out - arrange holidays for yourself, with or without a reason. The holiday helps a woman and her man take a break from problems, change focus and understand that life is still worth living.

Laws of a happy family

Psychologists have tried to formulate the basic rules of a happy family in the form of laws:

1. The Law of Matching
   states that people entering into marriage should have similar life values ​​and interests, goals and visions for a joint future.
2. Law of love
   . True feelings do not arise suddenly; they are created by the specific deeds and actions of a man and a woman.
3. According to the law of communication,
   spouses with each other and children are obliged to learn to communicate effectively on specific and abstract topics. They should always have something to talk about.
4. A certain share of independence for each individual in the union
   . Only with personal space and delineated boundaries are people ready to wisely sacrifice their interests for the sake of the common good.
5. Law of development
   , according to which spouses, going through life together, must necessarily develop harmoniously in various areas. This is the only way they can adhere to other laws.

Rules for a happy family for children

In order for children to grow and develop harmoniously, there are certain rules in a happy family:

1. A family is a team in which all problems are solved together. There is always a leader in the team, whose final decision is not discussed. Leaders should be adults, not children.
2. Each member of a social unit has both his own rights and responsibilities, personal time and space.
3. There should be no competition between children about who is better, faster or more beloved. Every child should feel loved for who they are.
4. In the evening, it is very important to discuss, for example, at dinner, how your day went. Heartfelt conversations and plans for the future bring us closer together.
5. Children recognize lies on an energetic level, so they should never lie.

Support

A happy family is a family in which each member is always ready to come to the aid of another member - no matter what such help may be:

• help in some difficult matter;
• to look after its youngest member or the sick;
• to suggest or advise something;
• warn against some rash step;
• and just be in the role of that very “vest” into which you can always cry.

In general, there cannot be a happy family without comprehensive support.

How to create a happy family?

In many guides by psychologists and spiritual leaders on how to make a family happy, there are some recommendations:

1. A man and a woman choose a partner who is close in spirit. Without initial points of contact, it will not be possible to create a strong foundation for a marriage.
2. Children are natural extensions of their parents. Such a family: parents plus children is considered complete.
3. Much of the harmony depends on the proper organization of everyday life and leisure.
4. A dose of humor greatly helps brighten up everyday life and the routine of life together. Anything that doesn’t touch personal boundaries is best turned into a joke.

Secrets of a happy family

Elderly people who have lived together for decades are happy to share with young people their secrets about what kind of family is considered happy. According to them:

1. All people in the house should have both their own personal space and a common area where they can gather and spend time together.
2. Each individual is simply obliged to have hobbies and hobbies, both individual and those that can be enjoyed by everyone together.
3. Parents should work, setting an example for their children, and children should learn to take responsibility for their actions and perform feasible duties.
4. In a happy relationship, there are traditions, be it having dinner together, rules for creating New Year's crafts or choosing a summer vacation destination.

How to change everything right now - some tips from psychologists

Family happiness is work. And if a woman is not satisfied with everything in a relationship, then a lot can be changed right now. To do this, do the following:

✔ Make a spontaneous decision that your spouse does not expect. The goal is not to shock, but to pleasantly surprise your loved one.

✔ A week without criticism with politeness and care. Consciously give yourself a directive - not to criticize or make comments to your loved one for a week. Instead, say nice words and make your partner happy. Give a nice gift.

✔ Try to imagine that today is the last day you live. There will be no chance to fix the situation, ask for forgiveness or start over tomorrow. Exists only today. How would your behavior change?

These are the effective secrets that will help a woman keep her family happy. A single recipe for family happiness has not yet been invented. What is important is the desire of both partners to live together and happily. Well, the desire to work so that the husband/wife and children are happy.

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Why doesn't everyone manage to create a happy family?

It would seem that the recipe for a happy family is simple, but not all people who get married manage to create a harmonious union. This can happen for a number of reasons:

1. The imposed opinion of one spouse on the other. Without flexibility and mutual respect, there will be no harmony in the union of a man and a woman.
2. Personal ambition and egocentrism. Where several people live together, a reasonable line must be drawn between personal interests and the family good.
3. Mistrust and jealousy. Often such symptoms appear in psychologically immature individuals who need to first work through their inner world, and only then get married.

Final Thoughts

A happy family is always worth fighting for. Because it is the most valuable thing in your life. For them we live and give all our strength. Therefore, if you have recently noticed that the relationship between you is not going well. Then it's time to take steps towards creating harmonious relationships and becoming a happier family. Put our tips into practice and after a while you will notice a significant difference.

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