Personal crises and the causes of their occurrence - how to cope with the disorder

Hearing the word “crisis,” most likely, the imagination will draw, to put it mildly, not rosy pictures, but, on the contrary, something destructive and complex. “Crisis” presupposes certain difficult periods in life. And if we talk about a personal crisis and a crisis of personal growth, then, probably, the picture of the world will generally be in dark gray tones.

But if you dig deep into the issue: having studied “from” to “to” what the crisis actually is, then a completely different picture emerges.

In this article:

What will knowledge of the topic give youWhat is a personality crisisSigns of a personality crisisPsychological crises in men and womenCrisis of personal growthAge thresholdsPersonality development according to EriksonEight stages of personality development according to EriksonPhases of crisesCauses of a personality crisisHow to get out of a personality crisis

What will knowledge of the topic give you?

Photo by Rizky Sabriansyah: Pexels
Our task is to help you understand the issue of the crisis, so to speak, to introduce you to it. When you find out what he is, you will no longer be afraid of him and perceive him as something bad. On the contrary, a crisis is a kind of guiding star that conveys to you that you are at the stage of life’s turning points.

We will not go into demagoguery, but rather let’s begin a detailed study of the stated issue.

18-20 years old

Life passes under the motto: “It’s time to sail independently.” This is the time of study and military service. A teenager (and then a young man) strives to distance himself from the family and demonstrate his independence. At the age of 20, when a person has moved away from his family (even if purely psychologically), another question arises: “How to stay in the adult world?” A person understands that he cannot do everything in this world, that his knowledge and strength are not yet enough to cope with all the problems...

What to do?

Do not refuse family support, especially if parents are able to provide it and do it with joy. And learn the philosophy of gradual progress towards the goal. To do this, it is useful to hang a piece of paper above your desk with the phrase: “A person overestimates what he can do in a year, and underestimates what he can do in ten years” and think about this phrase more often.

What is an identity crisis

We didn't just talk about turns.

Translated from Greek, the word “crisis” has several meanings, one of which is a turning point. The term “crisis” means a stage of transition, a turning point.

A kind of revolution when the available means aimed at achieving a goal have lost their relevance, which is why situations arise that get out of control and become unpredictable.

If we narrow the question to a personal crisis, then it, in its structure, consists of a number of issues that every person faces at certain periods of his life.

In turn, these questions can be divided into two groups:

• The meaning of one's own existence
• The correctness of one's own actions

They are the ones that lead to a feeling of inner emptiness, one’s own unfitness, and the uselessness of one’s own actions.

A personal crisis can be triggered by both negative events, for example, loss of a job, separation, illness, and positive ones, for example, a wedding, the birth of a child, or promotion.

Or it may be that the crisis mechanism is triggered by a generally insignificant event, which leads to the fact that a person’s worldview changes, and he can no longer live the way he lived before.

A personal crisis can be seen as a turning point. It is he who determines the subsequent course of life. A personal crisis is always accompanied by acute emotional experiences. It represents a period of transition to a completely different level, which dictates the choice of a new direction. Without a personal crisis there will be no personal growth, since it makes certain demands that are associated with certain changes, such as:

• way of thinking;
• style and formula of life;
• attitude towards yourself and the world around you.

Teenagers - transition to adulthood

The first more or less “adult” crisis is considered to be the teenage one. Erik Erikson, the author of the ego theory of personality, calls the age of 12-18 years the most vulnerable to stressful situations and the occurrence of crisis conditions [3]. Boys and girls are faced with a choice - profession, identification of themselves in some social group.

A typical example from history is various informal movements (hippies, punks, goths and many others), the fashion for which changes periodically, but some part remains constant, or interest groups (various sports, music).

The teenage crisis is a period accompanied by excessive care and control on the part of parents. And also prohibitions, quarrels arising from attempts to circumvent them, and much more. All this prevents the child from getting to know himself and identifying the characteristics that are unique to him - as an individual.

During this period, the risk of drug and alcohol consumption increases - for teenagers this is not only a way to become “one of the people” in the company, but also to relieve constant emotional stress. After all, due to hormonal “swings” and other physiological changes in the body, young people constantly experience overwhelming emotions when their mood changes a hundred times a day.

It is during this period that thoughts about the future also come, which expose boys and girls to additional stress. Who do I want to become and what do I want to do as an adult? How to find your place in the sun? The school system, unfortunately, does not really help to find answers to these questions, but only aggravates the crisis of choice, since it sets certain deadlines for the process.

Among foreign experiences, the examples of teenagers in South Korea and the USA are interesting. True, in the first country they are rather unoptimistic. There it is believed that only graduates of just a few of the most prestigious universities have good job prospects. Therefore, it is quite common for teenagers to drive themselves to exhaustion and nervous breakdowns (and often to suicide) due to the upcoming graduation and preparation for courses. This problem forced doctors to sound the alarm and raise the issue at the state level.

But among American teenagers and their parents, a more sensible approach is common - at this age it is normal not to know what exactly you want. That’s why many teenagers, after graduating from school, take a year off to think (the so-called gap year) - to travel, work, gain new experience and make the right decision for themselves without outside pressure.

In the post-Soviet space, there are still frequent cases when parents themselves determine which university and what specialty their child will enroll in.

The outcome is not difficult to predict - the imposed profession may not be the one the applicant dreamed of. There may be a lot of further scenarios, but for a teenager, most of them will not help him spend his student years profitably and gain self-determination.

In the United States, they have compiled a list of the most popular crisis reasons why teenagers drop out of school: alcohol and drug addiction, pregnancy, loss of interest in school, financial difficulties, bullying by peers, sexual harassment, mental disorders, problems/cruelty in the family.

A teenager's acceptance of his appearance is also associated with a crisis of self-identification. For girls, this moment can become especially acute - comparing oneself with idols, models from glossy magazines is depressing and can cause eating disorders. Unfortunately, the most common patients in specialized departments for anorexics are young girls.

That’s why it’s so important for a teenager to feel the support of his family, which is ready to accept his choice, when he’s growing up. Just as in childhood, it is not recommended to harshly cut off a child’s desire for independence. The main advice from psychologists to parents comes down to one simple maxim - remember yourself when you were a teenager, your dreams and aspirations, conflicts with adults, and put yourself in the place of a child.

By the way, the teenage crisis still stands on the line between children's crises, which are more or less regulated by age, and adults, who are tied not to a certain time, but to the process of choice.

Childhood crises mean the collapse of a system that previously existed in the child’s mind, and adults imply the independent construction of this very system by a certain individual. The first serious choice for a teenager (university, profession) is the very symbol of the transition to adulthood.

Signs of a personality crisis

• feelings of inferiority;
• fear of making important decisions;
• changeable mood;

How to overcome personal crises in life and relationships?

• irritability;
• unusual actions;

• changes in activity: from elation to apathy;
• Negative thoughts often appear: about old age, about the fact that life is passing, and significant goals have not been achieved;
• the feeling that the usual way of life is changing, and nothing can be done about it;
• any criticism and comments are perceived more sharply than before;
• sleep disturbance: frequent getting up at night, and difficult getting up in the morning;
• the feeling that a day is like a year: it lasts long and monotonously;
• detachment, which will manifest itself in avoidance of reality and immersion in oneself, one’s own experiences.

Introduction

The life of modern people living both in cities and in villages is characterized by a fairly significant presence in their lives of crises that have both a normative age and an individual character. Therefore, the study of psychological crises in human life is relevant and at the same time has not only a pronounced theoretical, but also an applied nature.

The purpose of the study is to determine the impact of crises in a person’s professional life, as well as the relationship between normative age and individual crises in it.

The main tasks to achieve this goal will be the following:

• Expand at the theoretical level the concept of a normative age-related psychological crisis;
• Theoretically describe individual psychological crises;
• To identify the role of normative-temporal and individual psychological crises in the life of a modern person and to determine the relationship between normative-temporal and individual crises in the life of a modern person.

Psychological crises in men and women

There are significant differences in personality crises between women and men. For men, in most cases, crises are associated with self-realization. Do you remember the expression: plant a tree, give birth to a son, build a house? That is, they have an unspoken plan of what needs to be done, and a departure from this plan, or no prospects for implementation at all, is for them a direct road to a crisis of personal growth.

We girls experience crises more acutely because they are associated with:

• Age
• Relationships

We want to stay young and beautiful, active and healthy. Let's be honest: if you look at people in show business, men change their “old” wives for younger ones. In a new marriage, new wives give birth to children. For them, with a new lover and a new child, a period of second youth opens.

Therefore, it is very important for us women to stay young as long as possible. And when the first wrinkles appear, the skin begins to lose its elasticity and velvety, we may face a personal crisis, fear of loneliness.

It is more difficult for men to overcome personal crises. They can “soften” negative feelings with alcohol or go into the world of gambling addictions.

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While women recover from crises much easier and faster.

But it is worth noting that there are no scientifically based paradigms regarding the fact that personal crises are an integral part of the life and personal development of each individual.

In fact, a personal crisis is not an indicator of growing up. It is like an identifier that a person is not ready for change.

Personal growth crisis

Most psychologists are of the opinion that a crisis is a kind of preparatory stage of personal change. Moreover, it can be both positive and negative.

A crisis of personal growth occurs when an individual refuses to change his life and move to a new stage (more on this below).

The causes of a personal growth crisis may be fears. They are related to:

• Changes
• Failures
• Responsibility for the decision made

Personal growth is impossible without meeting a number of conditions. These include:

• Analysis of your own life
• Responsibility for your life and decisions made
• The desire to work on oneself
• Faith in success
• Active life position
• Self-discipline

Age thresholds

Personality crises have their own age thresholds. This is due to turning points. The child and adolescent age threshold falls on:

• Newborn crisis from 6 to 8 weeks
• One year
• 3 years
• 6-8 years
• 12-14 years old
• 17-18 years old

Photo by Alex Green: Pexels
Each threshold has its own developmental phases and life events. Such events may include:

• admission to kindergarten;
• school;
• adolescence;
• obtaining a specialty;
• moving from home.

For adults, age thresholds are:

• 18 years
• 30 years
• 40 years
• 60 years

But it should be noted that these are approximate age thresholds. For each individual they can have their own time beginning and end. That is, for some it will start a little earlier, and for others a little later.

For adults, age periods are associated with rethinking one’s own life. These stages may be accompanied by depression, rethinking of past experiences, changes in worldview, and radical changes in lifestyle.

Kinds

A crisis is distinguished by what exactly it is aimed at. Different areas of life can change and contribute to conflict.

Personal crisis

Otherwise it is also called an identity crisis. At this time, the individual feels that he is living someone else’s life. Previous achievements are not at all pleasing and even begin to seem meaningless. A personal crisis is caused by the need for true self-realization.

Family crisis

Affects the interaction between spouses and child-parent relationships. Crises in the family life cycle are caused by the inability to live according to previous standards. This does not mean that it is time for spouses to get a divorce, that they are unable to understand each other. The fact is that throughout the course of living together, relationships change. This is a prerequisite for harmonious and holistic development. It is impossible to remain the same if your other half changes, because time also does not stand still.

Age crisis

This stage is associated with new needs that are caused by entering a certain age period. A person develops other interests and needs. Age-related life crises always bring something new. This is especially noticeable in the development of children. Reaching adolescence, a child becomes different: his tastes, interests, and hobbies change. Sometimes this happens very abruptly and such transitions from one state to another are accompanied by strong emotional outbursts. Every age has its own interests and hobbies. Even adults, when they retire, feel how their lives change: priorities become different, ambitious aspirations go somewhere. I want to spend more time with my family, children and grandchildren.

Personality development according to Erikson

According to Erikson's theory, personality development goes through 8 stages. In essence, this theory suggests that personality development continues throughout life.

The transition from one stage to another is associated with specific conflicts. Having resolved which, the person moves to another stage, and in fact - to a new life stage of his development. If the conflict is not resolved, then, as you yourself understand, the individual will get stuck at the stage and will not move on to the next stage of his development.

Erikson's Eight Stages of Personality Development

• Stage No. 1: conflict of trust and mistrust. Its duration is from birth to one year.
• Stage No. 2: conflict of autonomy and doubt (from one year to 2 years).
• Stage No. 3: conflict between entrepreneurship and inadequacy (from 3 to 6 years)
• Stage No. 4: conflict between creativity and inferiority complex (from 6 to 11 years).
• Stage No. 5: adolescence and its characteristic personality identification and role confusion (from 12 to 19 years).

• Stage No. 6: conflict of intimacy and loneliness (from 20 to 25 years).
• Stage No. 7: conflict between productivity and stagnation (from 26 to 64 years old).
• Stage No. 8: conflict of integrity and despair (from 65).

Phases of crises

An identity crisis has three main phases:

• Start
• Peak
• Completion

The first phase is characterized by:

• Emotional explosion
• Deterioration in physical condition
• Chaotic
• Withdrawal
• Apathy

The second phase is characterized by:

• Awareness of the problem
• Unresolved question as to how to solve it
• Search for reasons
• The future is in shades of gray
• Search for new solutions

The third phase includes:

• A New Look
• Craving for change
• Everything that happens no longer seems hopeless
• Smooth entry into a new stage of life

Causes of a personal crisis

They can be roughly divided into:

• Domestic
• External

Internal reasons lay the foundation of anxiety and dissatisfaction, which can transform into hopelessness, amid a feeling of powerlessness.

Photo by Anna Tarazevich: Pexels

Internal reasons include:

• permanent dissatisfaction with oneself;
• stressful situation;
• emotions of destructive genesis;
• distorted assessment of oneself;
• psychological blocks.

External reasons may be:

• problems at home or at work;
• communication difficulties;
• crises associated with age thresholds: adolescence, middle age, and old age.

The reaction of the human psyche to a stressful situation

You need to understand that negative sensations and experiences during periods of stress are natural reactions of the human body. They must manifest themselves so that a person can subsequently avoid health complications.

It is normal if a person is stressed:

• is in an excited state, experiences chaos in thoughts and may demonstrate atypical behavior;
• panics, is afraid, feels an irresistible desire to run away;
• aggressive, furious, tense;
• anxious, restless;
• cries;
• experiences envy, jealousy;
• feels uncontrollable nervous trembling (tremor).

The level of stress does not depend on the cause. A broken leg or a sudden betrayal of a spouse will give the same reaction from the body, but the intensity of these reactions will be related to how significant the event is for a particular individual.

If stressful manifestations last for a long time, then a feeling of indifference comes, a person may feel a lack of strength, lose interest in what happened and, as a result, fall into apathy.

How to get out of a personal crisis

Psychologists have developed various methods, one of which includes 4 steps to overcome a personal crisis

• Step #1: Restraint

When changes occur in your life that are beyond your control, and you become irritable, it is important not to take out negative emotions on other people.

• Step #2: Analysis of Thoughts and Feelings

It is important to understand what exactly brought you to the “crisis buffer zone” and what you can do to get out of it.

• Step #3: Set achievable goals

It is important to break the goal into small stages. Moreover, for each of them an action plan must be drawn up. That is, once you have completed one plan, you move on to the next one.

• Step #4: Change your thinking pattern

It is important to remember that the crisis is, in fact, your assistant. It tells you that one stage has been passed and you need to move on to a new one. Each subsequent stage may be more difficult than the previous one. But it’s like a game: there are different levels, and not a single game immediately starts with the most difficult. Likewise, crises gradually, stage by stage, lead us along the path of personal development.

What awaits you: stages of experience

Thank God, the personality crisis develops gradually, since no one can withstand such a sudden weight. There are a number of stages that a person goes through, and you can be happy - a crisis always ends with a solution. It’s just that this solution is different for everyone. A strong and healthy person is always able to find an option that suits her. But are you exactly such a person?

So, the stages of experiencing a crisis:

1. Immersion stage. As a rule, at the very beginning of a crisis, a person is bothered by unpleasant sensations in the body. But you don’t yet understand that you are having a personal crisis - you just don’t feel well. You are tense and constrained, experiencing a feeling of weakness and heaviness. Since something needs to be done, you do it, but these body movements are very fussy and meaningless. Your thoughts resemble viscous porridge, and you chew it endlessly. When you think about one thing, it immediately pulls an even more unpleasant thought out of your mind. You are vulnerable and not protected from these and other unpleasant feelings. It's like a huge black hole and you fall into it. This is the first stage of the crisis.

2. Deadlock stage. It is accompanied by feelings of loneliness and lack of support. You are immersed in thoughts and endless introspection - going through events, asking yourself questions about the causes of the crisis and cannot find answers. However, your thoughts and feelings are no longer linked into one unpleasant lump - they are increasingly experienced by you separately.

Your past no longer helps, you are afraid to be “here and now,” and you gradually begin to make predictions for the future. A feeling of exhaustion and lack of strength pervades you. You understand that outside help will not come, and your desire to find a way out of this impasse is growing more and more. But you can’t escape these feelings - you definitely have to experience them, and then for the first time there appears light at the end of the tunnel.

3. Fracture stage. Against the backdrop of complete moral decline, you begin to remove yourself from the space of crisis. At first, this way out manifests itself literally - you hide under the blanket and fence yourself off from everything - and then psychologically. It’s as if there is “you” and “you are in crisis. Your consciousness is freed from old non-working thoughts and attitudes. Crisis experiences visit you less and less often, and always alone. Personality restructuring occurs and readiness for new experiences arises.

The world around you seems to be opening up again, and you are in harmony with it. You are free and feel light in your body. The thirst for new sensations and impressions never leaves you - sometimes you even want to break away and go on a journey. You finally have your desires, and you feel the strength and opportunity to satisfy them. The feeling of happiness does not leave you, and you can finally say to yourself: “I did it! I went through a personal crisis!”

Unfortunately, the crisis does not always end so rosy – sometimes the opposite happens. Psychologists include neuropsychic and psychosomatic disorders, suicide, withdrawal from society, post-traumatic stress, various crimes, alcohol or other addiction, etc. as bad scenarios.

As we see, a crisis not only tests a person’s strength - it can also destroy it.