Despotism is an acquired personality quality, manifested in the desire for unlimited power, which is achieved without regard for the opinions and needs of others by demanding constant and complete obedience. Despotism in psychology is a manifestation of extremely unfavorable characteristics of the ego, its exorbitant growth, which ultimately leads to the loss of reasonable control over one’s life manifestations, and all actions are subordinated exclusively to the affective sphere.
Despotism in the family manifests itself as psychological and physical violence, when all methods become relevant to achieving one’s own power. A despotic person has no understanding of the personal boundaries and freedoms of others, and those who are considered his family are perceived by him as property. Naturally, with such a perception, those around them are required to constantly comply with the will of the despot, as well as full compliance with his ideas about life, not only his own and shared, but also how another person should behave and feel. Among the usual requirements may be a ban on tears and the need for constant joy. Such encroachments on the sensory sphere, which is not subject to control, indicate a lack of adequate perception.
Such behavior inevitably causes conflicts at various levels. Victims of a despot may try to explain or swear, broken dishes and physical beatings may be used. Those who finally feel their powerlessness offer silent resistance through silence and adjustment, which irreversibly damages the psyche of not only the victim, but also the tyrant himself.
Autocratic behavior cannot stop on its own, and the less resistance is provided, the more a person will feel like a demigod and begin to demand the impossible as a given. It cannot be said that there are people who have never turned into despots in attempts to get what they want from others, but those for whom this line of behavior takes on critical forms need the help of specialists. Uncontrolled violence against others, inadequate demands and assessment of the situation are the main signs of the presence of mental disorders. At best, long-term psychotherapy will help correct the situation; at worst, specialized drug therapy will be required.
Despot: who is this - 5 main signs
Greetings, friends!
In political science, despotism is one of the worst forms of government, in which all power is concentrated in the hands of one person who does not recognize any laws other than his own. But today we will talk not about political, but about family despotism. It can also be called, without exaggeration, one of the worst forms of relationships. In this case, both a man and a woman can act as a despot. In this article we will look in detail at who a despot is, what signs characterize him and how to resist him.
What is DESPOTISM - definition, meaning in simple words.
In simple terms, Despotism is the exercise of absolute power, especially in a cruel way.
From the point of view of the state system , despotism is defined as a regime in which the ruler has absolute power. A monarchy in which absolute power rests with the king is an example of despotism. The extreme degree of despotism is authoritarianism.
From a psychological point of view, despotism is a trait of a person who seeks to control others, while showing cruelty and aggressiveness.
Synonyms for the word “despotism”: autocracy, tyranny, authoritarianism, oppression, oppression.
Synonyms for the word “despot”: autocrat, tyrant, exploiter, oppressor, oppressor.
Who is a despot?
A despot is a person who does not recognize that others are right and achieves his goals through pressure and violence. He does not need evidence or arguments; he believes that he is right in any situation. Even in relationships with the closest and dearest people, he constantly resorts to violence, humiliation, revenge, mental pressure, gaslighting (what is this?) and other aggressive methods of influence.
X The only thing about despotism is that it is
almost always directed at people whom the despot considers dear and important to himself. He himself often does not notice how cruel he can be.
A despot is a tyrant who imposes his will on others through force, influence and power. A boss can be a despot, but it is much worse when one of the family members turns out to be one. Psychology considers the theory that despotism is a natural human instinct that awakens under a certain set of circumstances. According to this theory, the desire to rule is present in each of us, but it manifests itself to varying degrees in everyone.
Psychologists identify three main components of despotism:
Despotism is capable of destroying any relationship, since a despot strives to completely deprive a partner of all rights, but allows himself almost everything. This happens in both love and friendship relationships.
Neodespotism.
Today, "despotism" seems to be a marginal concept, referring to an archaic form of government. Paradoxically, however, in the modern world, despotism thrives in the shadows. And yet the majority voluntarily follows clearly despotic leaders. Modern despotism (or neo-despotism) is perceived as political “art” and even tends to become normal (as a cult of personality). All modern despotic regimes consider themselves democracies of some kind (for example, China's "people's democracy") and base their power on the sovereignty of their citizens, while proclaiming their version of democracy superior to the traditional Western concept. These despotic regimes use tools that create the illusion of democracy without transferring real political power to the citizens. These are “phantom democracies”.
The fundamental feature of neo-despotism is that it can act as its opposite, presenting itself as a sphere of freedom. Neodespotism speaks the language of fear and security, but does not seek to legitimize the despotic order as such. On the contrary, he promises a new, democratic world, free from despots and their terror.
In other words, neo-despotism is despotism that convinces us that it is not despotism.
Thus, it is an oxymoron - anti-despotism.
Signs of a modern despotic regime.
Professor Kean identified several main features inherent in new despotic regimes:
- Despotic regimes understand that the consent of the people is the source of their continued power;
- Every despotic regime is built on a patron-client relationship that undermines authority and law;
- All despotic regimes are plutocratic, employ state capitalism, and generate enormous social inequality;
- Despotic regimes control all forms of political discourse, often presenting contradictory positions to both attract and isolate their populations and prevent any serious independent movements against the state;
- All despotic regimes hold elections, although real power is not transferred to the citizens;
- Despotic regimes use extensive state media to propagate their ideology;
- Despotic regimes mask state violence through fear and torture;
- All despotic regimes claim to exemplify a society based on the rule of law, when in reality it is a facade rife with corruption and injustice.
How does despotism manifest itself?
The most common form of despotism is family despotism. It usually manifests itself in the form of physical abuse or psychological abuse. One of the partners tries to completely subjugate the other, putting pressure on him by any means available to him. A despotic person completely ignores other people's desires, rights, freedoms and boundaries of personal space. He perceives all family members as property, but he himself believes that he loves them.
As a rule, a despot is a very touchy and vindictive person who perceives his behavior as a way of restoring justice. Through his actions, he tries to punish the offending family member, and this helps him look better in his own eyes. Also, such behavior allows him to increase his own self-esteem and restore damaged self-esteem.
A despot always strives to subjugate those around him and force them to act according to his orders. Despite this, he does not know how to be a leader at all. Due to his aggressive position, he can force others to obey him, but cannot inspire respect in them. In addition, he is not able to resolve conflict situations; instead, he himself constantly provokes conflicts. Such behavior leads to the fact that over time the despot causes only fear, hostility and complete misunderstanding in those around him.
Similar words
Arbitrariness, tyranny, imperiousness, authoritarianism, autocracy - these synonyms for despotism very well describe the deviation that has arisen. A despot tends to impose his will on others through the use of psychological or physical violence, aggression or humiliation.
Often, the causes of despotism are childhood traumas that a person tries to cope with in such a destructive way in order to gain self-confidence. The more fears are stored in the bins of a despot’s psyche, the more he strives to control the freedom of others. He uses aggressiveness to cover up his lack of confidence in his own attractiveness.
In a family, a despot literally forces you to love yourself. He is driven by global and causeless revenge, which appears for no reason. Thus, a person restores damaged self-esteem and respect. Autocratic behavior excludes concepts such as cooperation and respect for others. As a result, instead of the missing love and understanding, a person receives hatred, hostility, misunderstanding and, as a result, loneliness.
Signs of a despot
Even a superficial understanding of who a despot is is enough to come to the conclusion that it is better not to mess with him. However, it is not so easy to recognize him, since he usually begins to show the main features of his character only after getting close. By considering them in time, you can avoid a disastrous union. Therefore, always pay attention to the following characteristic behavioral features, which are almost always present in autocratic individuals:
1. The desire to control those for whom they are important
. Life experience teaches the despot that his character should be hidden, revealing it only after sufficient rapprochement. Therefore, first of all, pay attention to how a person behaves towards the people to whom he is dear.
2. Vindictiveness
. The inability to forgive is the most important feature of despotic individuals. Therefore, a person whose behavior is characterized by petty vindictiveness is likely to turn out to be a despot.
3. The desire to humiliate
. If it is common for a person to unreasonably insult and humiliate those who have been “substituted” (for example, through a crude joke), this is also a reason to be wary.
4. Flair for weak-willed people
. Despots accurately identify potential victims who are unable to resist moral and mental pressure.
5. Excessive jealousy
. All despots are owners; they simply do not know other forms of affection and love. Therefore, they are always betrayed by jealousy, which, as a rule, is senseless and causeless.
Characteristics of a male despot
To understand who a despot is, it is important to take into account the fact that such a person himself often does not realize the despotic nature of his behavior. Imagine a situation: a husband loves his wife, never resorts to violence, tries to provide her with such conditions that she does not work, but sits at home and raises children. But if you dig deeper, it turns out that he is simply trying to deprive his wife of freedom and independence, completely subjugating her to himself. Even if a woman initially likes such a union, over time the dependence begins to irritate her, and her feelings for the once beloved man cool down.
How does a despot act?
Despots usually act very subtly. The mechanism of influence on a person is something like this: at first, the despot will be a harmless little buffoon, ready to do anything. He will give a sea of attention and compliments. Over time, a person gets used to admiration for himself, and then the despot begins to act, namely, to criticize. After the first criticism, a person does everything possible to improve. But then the criticism becomes much greater, and the victim’s desire to correct the situation increases in proportion to it. As a result, an idea is discovered with which you can easily control the consciousness of another person. Also, it is important to note that the despot will appropriate all achievements for himself, and blame failures on his partner, and it is useless to appeal to an adequate perception of reality.
Characteristics of a female despot
This option is also quite possible. At the same time, psychologists share the nature of female and male tyranny. Despotic men usually feel the need to suppress others for the sake of their own self-affirmation. Women resort to despotism, trying to adapt to environmental conditions and occupy a more advantageous position. That is, female despotism, unlike male despotism, is usually situational in nature.
The best example, perhaps, would be a woman who has held a leadership position in a male team for a long time. Often faced with a frivolous attitude or inappropriate flirting from men, she gradually changes her behavior pattern, becoming a cruel and domineering boss. It is interesting that for the family she still remains a loving wife and caring mother.
Despotic state regime.
Despotic power is inherited by people from our animal past and is the most dangerous element in human sociality. Often the limitless power of a despot was explained by his divine origin, which led to his lifetime deification. Examples include ancient Egyptian pharaohs, Japanese emperors, Aztec and Inca rulers. European monarchs, including Russian emperors, although not directly deified, were still considered “anointed of God,” that is, people who had an exclusive divine right to rule.
Modern historians identify several main features of despotism in the classical sense of the word:
- The unlimited power of a despot. The state has no codes of laws, constitutions, or representative bodies that limit the power of the ruler.
- Lack of private property rights in the state. All material goods, instruments of production, land and the people themselves inhabiting the country are considered the property of the despot.
- Transfer of power by inheritance. The hereditary ruler is appointed at the personal discretion of the despot, without taking into account the opinions of the people and immediate circle.
- The justification of a despot's right to rule by his divine origin or by the divine origin of his right to rule the country.
- The country is governed by a bureaucratic or aristocratic hierarchical system.
- State despotism seeks to undermine the established global order of the rule of law and democracy.
How to resist a despot?
A characteristic feature of despots is that they are not always aware of their own despotic behavior towards dear people. They think that by trying to keep a loved one close to them, they are demonstrating love and affection. Therefore, in relations with a despot, it is important to find ways to smooth out the “sharp corners.”
When a psychotherapist is faced with family despotism, he first of all tries to find out the reasons for the aggressive behavior of one of the spouses. Typically therapy includes steps such as:
The listed steps allow a despotic person to learn to admit that he is wrong. And for this you need a respectful attitude towards yourself and others. When a person begins to understand that in certain situations the opinions of other people can be more accurate and important than his own, he gains the ability to conduct constructive dialogue.
How to protect yourself from a tyrant boss
If your boss is a tyrant, you can try to use some manipulation tactics against him. First, you need to observe him to determine which phenomena cause outbursts of anger in him, and which, on the contrary, calm him down. By understanding its complex nature, you can avoid negative situations. You need to approach with requests at those moments when the boss is in a good mood, and if he is in a bad mood, it is better to stay away from him.
You can learn to switch his attention when an outburst of anger occurs in your presence. A distraction maneuver can be any action that breaks the chain, for example, a complaint about a sharp deterioration in health. You can drop your pen and look for it for a long time, or come up with something else depending on the situation.
If no methods work, and your mental and physical health begins to suffer, it is still better to change jobs.
Who is a despot
Psychology has long been studying despotism, as well as representatives (despot or tyrant) of this terrible manner of government and attitudes towards loved ones. Today we will take a closer look at who a despot is and how despotism manifests itself. Let's talk about the character and behavior of aggressive and powerful individuals. There are many signs that can indicate a true tyrant. In relationships, despotism can not only cause divorce, but also domestic violence on a physical and psychological level.
At the end of the article we will tell you how to resist such a person as a despot. All recommendations are intended for informational purposes only, and therefore, if serious problems arise, seek qualified medical help.
Despot and despotism: analysis of concepts
A despot is a stubborn person who cares only about his own interests, needs and goals. Despotism is one of the most terrible forms of government. This is all due to the fact that the power of the state is concentrated in the hands of a person who is a cruel and irreconcilable person. A despot never respects the laws of his own country.
Despotism in family relationships, as well as in political science, is one of the unpleasant forms of relationships between people. A man and a woman can equally be a despot, because the manifestation of despotism depends on character, and not on gender.
There is only one opinion
Such a person is indifferent to other people’s opinions, even if the position makes sense and is correct.
The despot knows only one and only way to achieve his goal - through the use of force, pressure and aggression. Evidence, arguments and facts in the hands of a despotic individual lose all meaning. The despot is convinced of his own rightness, regardless of the situation. This person is irreconcilable in relationships with everyone and even with the closest people. In relationships, the tyrant often resorts to aggressive (controlled and uncontrolled) methods of influence:
The tyrant is obsessed with aggression
The worst thing about despotism is the direction of aggression towards those dearest and most beloved. The despot himself does not notice how sometimes he becomes cruel. The tyrant behaves especially repulsively towards loved ones and family members. A despot is a tyrant who, using force, power and influence, subjugates the will of others. Bosses are often those who like to manage people around them. However, the worst example of despotism is observed in family relationships.
Let's remember Ostrovsky
More precisely, his work called “Thunderstorm”. There is a certain Savl Prokofievich Dikoy there. His surname speaks volumes, and his personality matches it.
This Dikoy was a real tyrant. A wealthy merchant with as much money as there are leaves on the trees. This man was taken seriously. And this fact impressed Saul. Dikoy decided that money solves everything. This was partly true. Few people could give the mayor a familiar pat on the shoulder. But this was not difficult for Savl Prokofievich.
The merchant treated his subordinates cruelly. He delayed his salary, sometimes paying mere pennies. The workers tried to be indignant, but Dikoy began to rage. He shouted that they were worms and that he would want and destroy everyone at once.
The family got it even worse from the rich. Tyranny is a terrible character trait that affects everyone around a person. So Dikiy’s family had to suffer. How many times have they run away from home or holed up in the attic when their dear husband and father was rowdy.
Why was Savl Prokofievich a tyrant? Yes, because he had money in his hands. And he believed that he had the right to everything. Deep down, Dikoy is a cowardly person who becomes discouraged when he is rebuffed. True, no one risked doing this except Kabanikha.
Despot and despotism: causes and psychology
In psychology, there is a theory about despotism, as well as representatives (despot or tyrant) of this style of government.
It states that the desire to control is a natural instinct that manifests itself in certain circumstances. According to this theory, the desire to control people is present in every individual, but manifests itself differently due to willpower and life circumstances. Three main components of despotism: Despotism negatively affects relationships. The fact is that a despot is trying to completely deprive his partner of all rights, while allowing himself almost any action (even betrayal). A similar scenario occurs in family and friendships, as well as love relationships.
Despot and despotism: manifestation
Despotism most often occurs in family relationships, where one of the spouses is a real despot. Manifestation in the form:
In a couple's relationship, one of them tries to subjugate the lover to his own will.
The tyrant uses all available methods of psychological pressure and violent actions. An autocratic personality considers it unimportant:
The tyrant perceives his family as his property. But he is sure that this is how love and care are manifested.
Terribly touchy person
The despot is very sensitive to insults, and therefore the tyrant perceives his own behavior as the restoration of true justice. All actions are aimed at punishing the guilty family members. Such actions, namely despotism, increase his self-esteem and create the illusion in his eyes that he looks better.
Such actions raise self-esteem, restore lost self-esteem and help you look a couple of degrees better in your own imagination.
Thirst for complete submission
A despot strives for only one thing - this is the subordination of others to his own desires and goals, to force them to serve himself at any cost. Despite exorbitant demands, this person is incapable of being a leader. Relying on physical strength and mental pressure, the tyrant subjugates other people. It’s just that a powerful person cannot evoke respect, and the desire to follow him.
Who is Kabanikha?
The tyranny of the Wild and Kabanikha is different. If he is a rich coward, then she is an ardent defender of antiquity. Marfa Ignatievna Kabanova is a vivid image of ignorance, hypocrisy and obscurantism. It would seem that this woman is a believer. Words such as “grave sin,” for example, slip into her speech. But her concepts of life have nothing to do with true faith. And words are used for one purpose: to force the interlocutor to obey.
Kabanova completely refuses to accept any innovations. She lives the old fashioned way and teaches others the same. Her tyranny is the imposition of her worldview on her family. Tikhon’s son was depressed to such an extent that he was afraid to say a word. Almost immediately, Kabanikha shouted at him, reproached him, and made sarcastic remarks. I ate my daughter-in-law Katerina. And when she died, Kabanikha did not feel guilty.
If Dikoy is a coward and a fool, then Kabanova, for all her ignorance, is cunning and smart. She is an excellent manipulator who knows how to suppress the will of other people. Dikoy himself is afraid of Marfa Ignatievna. She is able to fight back. No one risks competing with her, everyone is afraid.
Despotism and tyranny are the main character traits of Kabanikha. Evil and cunning, living her own way, not wanting to change anything, she is an example of a dark fanatic for whom there are no points of view other than her own.
Despot and despotism: signs
To understand that it is better to exist in different worlds with such a person as a despot, it is enough to briefly describe his behavior and preferences for submission.
Unfortunately, it is almost impossible to recognize a tyrant at first sight. The whole problem lies in restraint with strangers. Despotism, namely the special character of a tyrant, manifests itself during rapprochement with a new person. Recognizing the signs of abusive behavior early can help you avoid toxic relationships.
Therefore, you should pay attention to the following signs that a despot has:
A despot is an individual who directs his efforts to subjugate his loved ones, which is how despotism manifests itself. The tyrant perceives his behavior as a manifestation of love and affection. He tries to deprive an important person of all possible rights, but does not limit himself. The reason for this behavior is the complete conviction that his decisions are much more adequate than other people's opinions.
Desire to control important people
The despot, taught by the bitter experience of society's hostility to tyrants, strives not to advertise his peculiar behavior. Shows a cocky attitude only after complete (sufficient) rapprochement. Because of this, you should carefully observe the tyrant, namely his behavior with loved ones.
Vindictiveness
A flair for weak people and a predisposition to humiliate
A despot, at the level of instincts, is able to recognize weak-willed people who are easy to intimidate, subjugating through mental pressure. Likewise, tyrants find ideal victims who are unable to resist aggression and pressure.
When an individual likes to inflict mental pain through insults and humiliation on those who have made a mistake, mistake or other type of trouble, then this is a reason to take a closer look at him.
Excessive jealousy
We can safely say that a despot is an owner. In the eyes of a tyrant, a partner is like an expensive thing. He is convinced that love can only be like this, because this is the whole essence of despotism. By studying the manifestation of jealousy, which is senseless and causeless, one can easily identify a despotic personality.
I am a demigod
Despotism is believed to consist in the manifestation of unfavorable characteristics of the ego. As a result, this can lead to a loss of rational control over one’s behavior, and all actions will become subordinated exclusively to the affective sphere.
Autocratic behavior cannot stop on its own. The less resistance is offered to the despot, the more he will consider himself a demigod and will begin to demand the impossible as a matter of course.
There are no people who have not at least once turned into despots in order to achieve what they want from those around them, but if this becomes a stable line of behavior, then the person definitely needs specialist advice. After all, the main signs of mental disorders are considered to be uncontrolled violence, inadequate demands and assessment of reality.
Despot and despotism: how to cope and resist
A despot has a striking feature in relationships, because a tyrant does not see his despotic behavior towards his loved ones. The reason for the desire to subjugate others to your will is the desire to always be close to a loved one. By such behavior, the tyrant shows, as it seems to him, love and affection for his other half. Because of this, when in a relationship with a person such as a despot, you need to be able to smooth out rough edges.
At an appointment with a family psychotherapist, the doctor first tries to find out the reasons for such aggressive behavior, namely despotism. Therapist steps:
The above steps are aimed at teaching such a person as a despot to admit his own mistakes. To learn to understand one's own problems, an individual must be able to respect himself and other people. When a despot begins to realize that someone else's opinion is more important than his own, then he acquires the ability for adequate dialogue.
Thank you for reading the article to the end and do not forget to share the information on social networks, because it is not difficult for you, but it is pleasant for us.
Source
Causes
Despotism is not inherent at the DNA level and does not depend on the characteristics of the nervous system, but the prerequisites for its formation are laid early. Raised by domineering parents who did not listen to the needs of their child, but demanded unquestioning obedience, a person perceives this model of behavior as the norm. Growing up, he begins to implement a despotic form of relationships at all possible levels. Despotism can also be caused by the desire to take revenge on others for their grievances. Constant insults, humiliation and cruelty can lead to a desire to take revenge on the whole world, and not just on the offender.
Although despotism is not only the desire to punish someone or copying the behavior model of parents. Often, despotism develops against the background of the fact that the child is constantly instilled with thoughts about his uniqueness, inimitability and superiority over others. The manifestation of despotism lies in the obsessive, neurotic idea of confirming one's power. To do this, a person chooses inadequate methods and is confident that only he is the only one in this world who deserves universal recognition and unquestioning obedience.
Who is a despot in simple words?
We are constantly trying to understand many terms and words. In our articles we hope to help others, in simple words, understand this together. The topic of today's article is “Despotism.” So let's get started.
Political scientists call “Despotism” one of the most unacceptable forms of government. Under it, all power is concentrated in the hands of one person, who does not recognize other laws - only those invented by himself. But this is in politics and history. And today we will talk about family despotism. By analogy with politics, it can also be safely called the worst form of family relationships.
Nothing good can be expected from this type of coexistence. At the same time, it makes no difference who is at the forefront - a woman or a man. Let's try to understand in more detail the signs that characterize it, its distinctive features and factors of its appearance.
There are people who do not want to admit that others are right, and achieve their goals only through threats, pressure, blackmail and violence. They do not require evidence or arguments because They think only themselves are right. They don’t care who they have to prove to or who they humiliate. Potential victims could include anyone: family and friends, work colleagues, neighbors, etc. Agree that such a lifestyle immediately makes them unattractive in our eyes.
But the people who suffer the most are those who are dear and important to him. The fact is that such individuals are completely unaware of how cruel they can be. After all, they have to use every trick to impose their will on others. And for this (in their opinion) all properties and methods are good - there are no moral foundations or principles. It is especially difficult to deal with despot bosses.
Some psychologists tend to consider in theory that each of us has a desire to command and dominate. It just manifests itself differently for everyone.
How does it manifest itself?
Psychologists identify three main components of despotism:
Despots are capable of destroying established relationships, because... strive to deprive their opponent of all rights completely. At the same moment, they allow themselves absolutely everything. This is especially noticeable in friendships and love relationships.
Family despotism is the most common form. It is easy to understand when it comes to psychological and physical violence against an individual. When one partner constantly puts pressure on the second, trying to subjugate him completely. Although he believes that in this way he shows his love for all family members, this is not so.
A normal, sensible and mentally healthy person will never humiliate, insult, much less beat another. Why does he need this? Feel like a king and master of life? Ignoring other people's rights, the boundaries of personal space, freedom and desires of a partner, it is difficult to create comfort and coziness for yourself.
In practice, they are all very touchy and extremely vindictive individuals. In order to look better in their own eyes, they simply need to be powerful. Punish the “guilty” by all available means. With such behavior, he increases his self-esteem and restores damaged respect. But in reality he receives fear, disrespect and hostility from his aggressive actions.
As a rule, a despot is a very touchy and vindictive person who perceives his behavior as a way of restoring justice. Through his actions, he tries to punish the offending family member, and this helps him look better in his own eyes. Also, such behavior allows him to increase his own self-esteem and restore “damaged” self-esteem.
Despite the desire to subjugate everyone and everything to their will, in reality they rarely become leaders. After all, such deliberate behavior cannot inspire respect for a person. Instead of resolving conflicts, he only creates new ones. This is all clearly visible from the outside and it is unlikely that higher authorities will approve the appointment to a leadership position.
A despot always strives to subjugate those around him and force them to act according to his orders. Despite this, he does not know how to be a leader at all. Due to his aggressive position, he can force others to obey him, but cannot inspire respect in them. In addition, he is not able to resolve conflict situations; instead, he himself constantly provokes conflicts. Such behavior leads to the fact that over time the despot causes only fear, hostility and complete misunderstanding in those around him.
Characteristic signs
Recognizing such an individual from the outside is very problematic. To do this, you need to talk to him and look at his actions, evaluate his words and statements. Only after such a rapprochement can one draw conclusions and try to avoid communication with him. Still, nothing meaningful will come of it. Pay attention to:
Reasons for appearance
Many psychotherapists believe that this is not an innate, but an acquired feature. The basic prerequisites are laid in childhood, but are finally formed throughout life. The most important contributing factors are considered to be;
We often notice how the only child in a family becomes an object of adoration. All his whims and demands are fulfilled instantly. As soon as you shout a little and act up, everyone around you immediately shows care and affection. Over time, aggressive behavior becomes the norm in adult life.
Conclusion
In the case when a person imposes his will on everyone around him, and at the same time does whatever his heart desires, this is a despotic person. And although such behavior may be a consequence of the presence of mental trauma and personal complexes, no one gets better. The best thing to do would be to convince him to go and get help from a qualified professional.
Source
Reasons for the emergence of despotism
Many psychotherapists believe that this is not an innate, but an acquired feature. The basic prerequisites are laid in childhood, but are finally formed throughout life.
The most important contributing factors are considered to be;
- parents' inability to agree with the child's opinion;
- emerging competition between brothers or sisters;
- an attempt to convince the child that he is the best and most talented;
- humiliation, violence in the family and among peers.
We often notice how the only child in a family becomes an object of adoration. All his whims and demands are fulfilled instantly. As soon as you shout a little and act up, everyone around you immediately shows care and affection. Over time, aggressive behavior becomes the norm in adult life.
The meaning of the word "despot"
1.
The supreme ruler in the slave-holding monarchies of the ancient East, who enjoyed unlimited power.
2.
transfer
An autocratic person who tramples on other people’s desires and will;
tyrant. Be a despot in the family.
□
He is a great despot.
The trouble is to fall into his hands. Turgenev, On the Eve.
Source (printed version):
Dictionary of the Russian language: In 4 volumes / RAS, Institute of Linguistics.
research; Ed. A. P. Evgenieva. — 4th ed., erased. - M.: Rus. language; Polygraph resources, 1999; (electronic version):
Fundamental electronic library
DESPOT
, a,
m.
[Greek.
despotēs] (book). The supreme ruler, enjoying unlimited power and governed by personal arbitrariness. || trans.
A person who forces others to act according to his will, without regard for the desires of others;
tyrant. He is a real leader in his family.
Source:
“Explanatory Dictionary of the Russian Language” edited by D. N. Ushakov (1935-1940);
(electronic version):
Fundamental electronic library
despot
1. history in monarchical states - a ruler with unlimited power
2. transfer an imperious tyrant who does not take into account other people's desires and interests