Shyness: what it is, signs, reasons, how to get rid of it

Shyness is the appearance of anxiety, fear and awkwardness in situations related to communicating with or being around other people. As a rule, shyness and timidity interfere with people's lives. In this article we will look at the causes of shyness, its signs, consequences and, most importantly, methods for overcoming shyness.

How to get rid of shyness

If shyness is justified by psychological factors, then the first way to solve this problem is to become aware of its presence and one’s own influence on the emergence and development of this situation.

Shyness is a character trait that is not something immutable and constant, like temperament and the strength of the nervous system - it is a special response model, a habit that has become comfortable, a certain style of thinking. Just as a person reinforces the development of a response mode, he can reduce its impact. To reduce the number of such manifestations, you will have to remember at what point the decision was made about the benefits of this method of response. Most likely, this was a justified situation in childhood, when only such a reaction could be successful, but now the person has become more mature and different situations occur, accordingly new methods are needed.

How to get rid of shyness? To understand what is happening to you at the moment of embarrassment, you need to listen to yourself very delicately. Note what other feelings arise at this moment, what happens to the physical sensation (tension or tremors may appear), how quickly this feeling develops and in what situations. Perhaps, with this detailed analysis, you will have childhood memories of some situations, people, phrases, characteristics in your direction. All this needs to be noted so that you can change it later.

Next, in order to change your own reactions, you need to change at least one of the components of your habitual response. That is, if in a familiar situation, when you begin to feel shy, your breathing quickens, then you can make a conscious effort to breathe as slowly and deeply as possible. If an unpleasant feeling appears in the chest area, you can mentally move it to your hands and shake it off. When critical voices come to mind, imagine what the cartoon voices said. The more things you can consciously change, the more different your final response will be.

In addition to working in the immediate situation, it is necessary to work with internal beliefs regarding self-perception and internal sensation of the situation. This even works when asking how to overcome a child’s shyness.

You can increase your self-esteem through sports and changing your image, you can enroll in a studio of like-minded people or ask specialists to highlight your strengths and attractive features. The more you develop, both physically and mentally, the higher your positive self-perception.

It is also important what kind of people you surround yourself with: the fewer reproaching and humiliating individuals, the less reason you have to constantly hang your head in embarrassment

You can search in your coordinates for an image of a person or hero whom you would like to emulate. On the one hand, this will help to develop tactics for achievement, to learn what this person can do. On the other hand, it is useful to analyze where you got this particular reference image from and check how much it is yours, since external ideals are often instilled in us in childhood, and they have nothing to do with the personality we have at the moment.

When the example is truly chosen by you and corresponds to a valid value and semantic system, try to live a day like this person. You don't have to do much, just play the role, try on the character and feel what it's like to be in that role. You may feel that you were more comfortable in your previous life, and you may feel how easy it is to show confidence and express yourself.

Be prepared for the changes to take a long time. It is impossible to be shy for twenty years, and after one exercise show super-leadership qualities. This will be daily painstaking work, not only directly with the sensations at the moment of constraint, but also with the global experience of life and oneself in it.

Exercises for shyness

The first exercise is to get rid of shyness when being in public places and briefly interacting with random passers-by. Walk in crowded places and ask random people for directions to a certain place. Or ask them similar questions that do not force you into further communication, this will help get rid of the fear of initiative in communication. It will be easier to overcome your fear of communication, since you know that the person will not remember you and will not insist on continuing communication, and it will be easy to get rid of intrusive people.

Improvise on your own to get rid of poor communication skills. The ability to unload a verbal stream on our interlocutor is not given to us from birth, just like shyness. When you're alone at home, try just saying out loud absolutely everything that comes to your mind. You need to get rid of shyness in front of yourself. By spending 15-20 minutes a day doing this type of training, be sure that after a few months it will not be difficult for you to choose a topic when communicating with someone. The conscious ability to speak beautifully will eliminate shyness, because you will be sure that you are interesting to your interlocutors.

Read more books to get rid of shyness. Developed speech attracts interlocutors. Fiction develops the ability to express one’s thoughts beautifully and concisely. Try to read books filled with humor to get rid of excessive dryness in communication. Jokes and laughter lighten the atmosphere of communication and help remove shyness.

To get rid of shyness and develop speech, watching other people's public crimes is perfect. Watching people, we involuntarily adopt their style of communication, this helps to get rid of poor speech. If you watch lectures and performances by charismatic people who are not shy, some of their charisma will rub off on you. To get rid of shyness, you need to watch performances of people who themselves make a strong impression on you.

There are a lot of shy people. And they also unite into communities. They can be found not only on the Internet, but also in real life. In most cities, these communities organize a training or meeting where you can practice communication skills with people who also suffer from embarrassment. They are also looking for a way to get rid of shyness; it will be easier to find a common language. Just don't think that attending such events will automatically make you a confident person. They get rid of shyness gradually. You will have to visit many public places before your fears finally dissipate.

How to stop being shy about people

The question of how to stop being shy about people is relevant for many. Using certain methods, it is quite possible to become a confident person. Having gotten rid of complexes, a person expands his social circle. This makes life more interesting. Psychologists advise: to get rid of shyness, you need to smile at least 20 times on the street, looking into the eyes of strangers.

At school, university or at work

Shy children usually do poorly in school. Moreover, if they manage to enter higher education, the problems continue. And in the future, it is always difficult for shy people to move up the career ladder

Therefore, it is important to stop being shy about people. This will allow you to tune in to the positive and receive a piece of the necessary energy from the world around you.

For this, parental help is important in childhood. Under no circumstances should you scold a child when he gets bad grades and is embarrassed to answer near the board. You need to seek help from a psychologist. He will recommend effective methods, taking into account the individual characteristics of the student.

If difficulties in studying arise against the background of shyness at university, then it is recommended to work on yourself. It is necessary to develop certain models of behavior that increase attractiveness in student society. This means you need to constantly improve. This will allow you to become more confident in life, and therefore stop being shy.

When starting a new job, many people feel shy. But, as a rule, it disappears after meeting a new team

It is important from the first days to express a desire to take on complex types of work. This will allow you to assert yourself in the team and stop being shy about your colleagues

In a new team, company

To feel comfortable in a new team, it is recommended to remain yourself. You shouldn't adapt to anyone. There will definitely be several people in the team with whom it will be interesting to communicate without changing their own worldview. This approach completely eliminates the occurrence of discomfort caused by shyness.

It is very important in the new team that they are not afraid to express their own opinions on certain issues. At the same time, the conversation must be skillfully maintained, without being afraid to switch from topic to topic

When addressing your interlocutor, you need to pronounce phrases clearly, loudly, looking into their eyes. This allows you to establish friendly contact, which eliminates the development of shyness.

When to make a new acquaintance

You should never be afraid of meeting new people. Thanks to communicating with new people, you can relax and, therefore, get rid of shyness.

It is necessary to make new acquaintances when there is a feeling that life is filled with routine and boredom. This condition is very dangerous for any person, as it is a factor that provokes the development of shyness. By communicating with new people, you can develop communication skills, which will allow you to feel comfortable in various life situations.

Who is called a shy person?

Wikipedia gives the following definition.

Shyness is a state of mind and behavior characterized by indecisiveness, stiffness, tension and awkwardness in the company of other people.

Usually, shy people are assessed by such positive qualities as modesty, poise, and their manners are considered sophisticated and worldly. However, not everyone realizes how destructive the processes occurring inside such a person can be.

American social psychologist Philip Zimbardo most accurately described this condition, calling shyness not just a character trait, but a real mental illness that cripples the psyche no less than the most serious illness.

In simple words, shyness is a psychological barrier that prevents full communication.

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What kind of shy person is he? Such people are immediately noticeable; they have the following characteristics:

• they rarely express their opinions;
• often blush and feel embarrassed;
• are afraid to defend their point of view;
• avoid conflicts;
• smile reservedly, often to please;
• agree with opponents on everything;
• do not like to be the center of attention;
• As a rule, they do not start a conversation first;
• during a conversation, they often look away from the interlocutor;
• speak quietly and uncertainly, answer questions briefly;
• They try to avoid new acquaintances and large companies.

At the same time, the most shy person constantly has thoughts like “I said the wrong thing”, “They looked at me and reacted to me the wrong way”, “I made myself look stupid again”, etc.

How to deal with shyness?

1. Anti-shyness pills: Scientists are trying to invent anti-shyness pills based on oxytocin (the cuddle hormone). The medicine is believed to relieve people of shyness. Today, unfortunately, there are no pills that would help solve this problem. Sometimes doctors can prescribe some medications that will help cope with anxiety, but the effect of such pills is temporary and they cannot cure.
2. How to stop being shy and blushing: to stop being shy, you need to work a lot on yourself. First of all, you need to communicate more with people, “step over” yourself, and do what is usually not typical. You need to understand that all people are the same, everyone has their own fears and complexes, just not everyone shows them. With redness, things are more complicated. After all, this is an involuntary reaction of the body. You shouldn’t get hung up on this if you feel like you’re blushing; under no circumstances should you stop talking and fall silent. It would be best to translate everything into a joke: “Oh, I’m blushing, it’s a little hot here.”
3. How to become sociable and not shy: Constant practice in communicating with people is the best medicine. Yes, it may be difficult at first, but, as they say, everything comes with experience. It is worth starting with those people with whom it is easiest to communicate, with whom you feel the least discomfort. You need to express your point of view, try not to remain silent. There is no need to be afraid to say something unnecessary, because even if this happens, you should remember that it happens to everyone and there is nothing shameful in it.
   You can start with the topics you are best at. Then the feeling of seeming stupid will disappear, because you are an ace in this field.

How to overcome shyness? Psychologist's advice:

Shy show business stars

Among celebrities there are many who do not like the spotlights. Who tries to hide from prying eyes by leaving the stage or filming another take.

Shy Star Rating:

1. Keanu Reeves. This actor does not live in a rich mansion, but in an ordinary apartment. It can often be seen on the subway, but rarely in famous restaurants. Keanu helps the homeless and donates money to fight cancer. He doesn't like to talk about his life and rarely gives interviews. Modesty and restraint give a special charm to a woman's favorite.
2. Natalie Portman. Natalie prefers studying to a career as an actress. She received two higher educations and said more than once: “I’d rather be educated than a movie star.” At the beginning of her acting career, the actress rejected the offer to play Lolita. Many stars dreamed of this role, but Natalie considered it too provocative. Modest Natalie Portman prefers to shine with her intellect rather than with explicit scenes on film sets.
3. Alexey Chumakov. Despite the vocal successes that Alexey achieved at competitions, and the mass of fans of his talent, he remained a shy guy. Alexey does not flaunt his personal life. Even at the singer’s wedding, only 12 of his closest people were present.
4. Natalya Vodyanova. This shy Russian beauty is very famous. She achieved success thanks to her appearance and hard work. Natalia finished her career as a supermodel, but is actively involved in charity work. She does not like to advertise her life, she has never been a participant in scandalous stories.
5. Kristen Stewart. Journalists call the actress rude and arrogant. But behind this mask hides the girl’s shy nature. She does not like excessive attention to her person. Kristen feels especially awkward during interviews when she has to answer questions about herself and her life.

Filming or performing on stage hides the shy nature of stars. It's as if they are living a different life. They feel most difficult when communicating with correspondents or TV presenters during interviews. After all, it is precisely the reluctance to talk about oneself publicly that reveals timid people.

If you don’t want to give up and are ready to really, and not in words, fight for your full and happy life, you may be interested in this article .

How to overcome shyness: start thinking positively

It is important to realize that shyness is a common feeling that has no serious basis. Most often, a certain chain of thoughts arises in the style: “I’m awkward, I’ll look funny, awkward, I’ll worry, I won’t be able to communicate properly, they’ll think something unflattering about me.”

It is important to be able to track such conclusions and reformulate them in your mind in a positive way, but without the “not” particle. They should sound in an affirmative form: “I will look confident”, “I will be able to answer all questions”, “I will make a good impression”, etc. A positive attitude will definitely launch a program of confident behavior!

Realize the reason for your shyness. Why do you feel insecure? In what situations do you feel the most embarrassed? How does this manifest itself? Are you blushing? Are your fingers shaking? Do you hide your gaze from others? Do you want to fall through the ground? Be sure to track your feelings that arise when you feel constrained. Once you identify the cause of your insecurity, deep inner work awaits. For example, you realized that this feeling arose in childhood during the process of upbringing. Now it is important to free yourself from those negative attitudes, assessments and criticism that were received at that early time. To do this, accept the position of an adult, self-sufficient person. You are no longer a dependent child who relies on the opinion of your parents in everything. You are a free person, and only those principles and attitudes that are convenient and valuable only for you should remain in your consciousness.

It is also necessary to work with other reasons at the level of feelings and attitudes, without deceiving yourself, but accepting all your weaknesses as they are. In some situations, you may need the help of a psychologist, which you certainly shouldn’t be embarrassed to seek.

Theories of shyness

There are five known versions of the origin of shyness.

Theories of the origin of shyness:

1. The theory of innate shyness. Its adherents are convinced that shyness, like mental abilities, is inherited. Psychologist R. Cattell developed a scale to determine the degree of shyness, in which he contrasted two character traits - self-confidence and timidity. In the course of the multifactor personality analysis proposed by him, the individual gets the result of how shy he is. The imperfection of this version is that researchers of human personality characteristics are confident that it is impossible to change the increased sensitivity of the nervous system to stressful situations. They are pessimistic and consider prudes to be people with an inferiority complex.
2. The theory of behaviorism. Behavioral psychologists consider shyness to be the result of a lack of correct communication skills, an individual’s instilling in himself of self-confidence in his inadequacy, and inability to communicate. Behaviorists propose to combat manifestations of isolation with educational measures.
3. Psychoanalytic theory. Psychoanalysts base their judgments on the pathology of shyness, social phobia, which in reality requires treatment. In their opinion, shyness is an external manifestation of an internal unconscious conflict.
4. Concept by A. Adler. Being a supporter of individual psychology, Adler first introduced the concept of “inferiority complex.” He was sure that in childhood all children are shy for a number of reasons: physical inferiority, lack of attention from adults, rejection. It depends on what position in life they choose whether they will remain insecure for the rest of their days.
5. Causal factors. Modern psychologists increasingly associate the appearance of shyness with the high reactivity of children. Kids instinctively protect themselves from psychological and physical overload by choosing one of two behavior options. Some children are drawn into confrontation and grow into self-confident individuals. Others avoid conflicts, communication, situations, developing shyness in themselves.

Representatives of different psychological trends identified various reasons for the emergence of isolation, but agreed on one thing: unsociability prevents a person from living fully, making new acquaintances, and communicating with others at work and at home.

Beware of the shy ones - they rule the world. (Yves Saint Laurent)

Explore the reasons why you are shy

Thinking about the root of your shyness can help you realize and accept who you truly are. For example, if you know of a traumatic event that has made you feel self-conscious, it may be time to get help dealing with those circumstances and memories. Once you learn to process what happened in the past, you will be able to move on with your life and overcome your feelings of shyness.

If you think this is due to your upbringing, consider your current relationship with your parents. Are they still bossy? Or are they embarrassed themselves?

Another thing that may have happened in your childhood that affects you as an adult is being what other people call shy. Often people are shy when they are little, but then they outgrow it. Unfortunately, some people become attached to this label and continue to relate to others they perceive as “shy” through childhood habits, even after their personality has outgrown shyness.

What can shyness lead to?

Here are its main consequences:

1. Reduced adaptive capabilities of a person: shy people have difficulty navigating the social environment due to limited contacts. Any stressful situation turns out to be extremely difficult and painful for such a person, and resistance to stress is significantly reduced. This can even cause the formation of a number of somatic pathologies (mainly diseases of the cardiovascular system).

2. Social “rigidity”, lack of active citizenship. If we consider this point in more detail, the inaccuracy of this formulation becomes obvious: an active position has no correlation with shyness. The point is only in the ability to express this position: people prone to embarrassment experience certain difficulties in demonstrating their opinion.

4. Social isolation, distance from other people. Such isolation always accompanies shyness and similar conditions, and the degree of isolation is steadily progressing. In the case of children, shyness slows down or stops mental development and the acquisition of social experience, which is possible only with full, constant contact with others.

5. Isolation resulting from shyness can cause the development of depression, anxiety and accentuation (cycling).

How do the lives of people who overcome inhibition change?

• Life
  As we have seen, there are quite a few simple everyday situations in which a shy person feels insecure. Starting from calling the clinic receptionist (delaying a trip to the doctor can affect your health), ending with the inability to ask for directions (getting lost and looking for a way in an unfamiliar place is not the best choice for leisure time!). Saying goodbye to such difficulties and deciding how to overcome shyness means really changing your quality of life!

Relationship.

Problems with shyness in relationships are, of course, central. The inability not only to tell a nice person that you like him, but also to communicate with him in principle is bitter! We need to start taking steps, we need to start warm relationships, we need to look for friends. If only because friends, family and loved ones are the basis of our lives. And shyness destroys this foundation. A person who has overcome himself and realized how to get rid of shyness will be able to build new relationships, will be able to say if something does not suit him, and will be able to plan a life together.

Dreams.

Shyness is uncertainty, and uncertainty is dislike for yourself. A person who considers himself unworthy of various benefits, who has not decided how to deal with shyness, can he allow himself to dream? Of course not. Your childhood dreams are deflated as social failures occur. You gradually convince yourself that you won’t succeed, but your stiffness prevents you from diving back onto the path of success. Maybe you sing great, but... stage fright. You play volleyball great, but you are afraid to approach the group playing... You write poems perfectly, but they do not leave your table. Letting go of yourself means letting go of your dreams. A person free from shyness achieves more. Because his horizons are expanding, and he really can do anything!

Career.

A career, akin to dreams, of course, goes up. You stop enjoying a small office that no one comes into, where you do things that are invisible to others. You want to realize yourself. You want to emerge from behind the office fence and start doing what you are truly meant to do in life. Write. Photograph. Maybe even manage people.

This is the difference, “to have or not to have” – it’s up to you to decide. Remember that every day you are moving either towards total modesty, which destroys your life, or towards a happy open existence.

How to recognize a person who lacks self-confidence?

Ecology of life.
When communicating with your interlocutor, it would be useful to find out how confident he is in himself: his appearance, behavior, self-worth. For what? Read and find out!.. When communicating with your interlocutor, it would be useful to find out how confident he is in himself: in his appearance, behavior, self-worth. For what? Read and find out!

Of course, self-doubt is not the best quality in a person. But if you encounter just such an interlocutor, you have a chance to win him over to your side and are guaranteed to make him your ally in any matter. To do this, first you need to find out whether the person is really unsure of himself. Of course, ask the question: “Are you confident in yourself?” It’s not worth it: at best, the interlocutor will remain silent, at worst, he will be offended and will not communicate with you further. Try to find out by taking a closer look at his behavior.

Signs of an insecure person

He is often silent, even when he disagrees with the interlocutor, and does not object out loud. It is difficult for him to defend his point of view. For example: you know for sure that your friend loves flowers, but when they come up in conversation and someone present says that the bouquet is “the corpses of flowers,” she remains silent. Or he nods as if he agrees.

Doesn't know how to talk about his feelings. Often his speech is replete with verbs: “went”, “found out”, “went”, but there are few adjectives in it, which help us express our feelings. This happens because a person is not used to understanding his own emotions. Perhaps he is not even aware of them. It is easier for a person who is insecure to talk about events than to talk about his attitude towards them.

It is difficult to make contact with strangers. For him, it’s real torture to start a conversation with a stranger, and especially to support him. Perhaps, at the same time, he is dissuaded by certain principles, for example, a woman may declare that, as a matter of principle, she does not meet people on the street. The truth, however, is that she is afraid that she will make the wrong impression.

Focused on others rather than self. Such a person often does what is expected of him - in order to earn the approval of others. Sometimes this happens even to his own detriment. For example, an insecure relative will without any words agree to help you with the housework, even if she has a trip to the dentist scheduled for that day.

He finds it difficult to make a decision. People who lack self-confidence often shift responsibility for their lives to others, and this also applies to the decisions they make. If a person asks you what to do and mindlessly follows your advice, he is unsure of himself.

Compares himself with others. If a person, discussing a third person in front of you, often says something like this: “Yes, Olya looks good. But I...", "Katya managed to make a career. It’s just me who can’t…”, “Compared to me, he lives well” - this is a sign that your interlocutor is used to being guided by others in everything. And compare yourself with them.

External signs: hunched back, hunched shoulders, poor or constrained gestures, too fast speech. All these signs may indicate an insecure person.

Why do you need to know this?

If your interlocutor is insecure, you can get a lot of benefits from communicating with him. Maybe manipulation is not very good, but in the case when you need to win a person over to your side, it comes in handy.

Give him a compliment - sincerely, with all your heart. Surely there is something cute about him - something that you like. Your approval will make him your ally.

Show that you and him are kindred spirits. An insecure individual often suffers from loneliness - not external, but internal. If he understands that you share his views and values, he will be favorable towards you.

Refer to authority. If he talks to you about a certain person in a breathy tone, you can say something like this: “By the way, he also uses the services of this fitness trainer.” If you need your interlocutor to contact this fitness trainer, with this simple phrase you will achieve what you want.

Keep in mind: Of course, insecure people are easy to manipulate, but before you try to win him over, think about the consequences. Will it turn out that over time he will shift all responsibility for his actions onto you? Published

PS And remember, just by changing your consciousness, we are changing the world together! econet

Why does shyness develop?

It is not difficult to guess that shyness has a direct connection with a person’s self-esteem, self-esteem, self-recognition and self-worth. If for some reason these moments are unstable, the person will invariably encounter timidity on his part. It can be difficult for shy people to establish themselves in a work or educational team; it is not easy for them to develop their inclinations and talents, or to assert themselves in any way. Against this background, there may be hidden personal conflicts and complexes repressed to the subconscious level. Timid people, as a rule, have a very strong voice of an internal critic who scolds, accuses, and adds even more self-doubt. In particularly critical cases, increased shyness can lead to isolation, unsociability, and separation from reality.

What can cause a person’s self-esteem to suffer? Why in some cases does it become painfully low and at the same time drag down self-worth and other important components of personality? Most often, problems with self-esteem, resulting in timidity and isolation, arise under the influence of upbringing and the influence of people from outside. If a child does not receive the necessary support from his parents, constantly faces accusations and humiliation from educators and teachers, and finds himself in situations where his achievements and successes are not valued, gradually healthy self-esteem is replaced by inadequate self-esteem. The child begins to doubt himself and his strengths more and more, gives up attempts to develop natural talents, and begins to show a tendency to self-flagellation. The problem of self-esteem is very complex, sometimes it requires work with a specialist.

Among other common reasons due to which a timid, shy character is formed, the following reasons are usually distinguished:

1. a distorted idea of ​​oneself, which can be imposed by parents or society, a person’s immediate environment;
2. a person’s clear conviction that he is naturally shy;
3. painful prejudices formed during life; Against this background, increased anxiety, a tendency to suspiciousness, passivity, causeless anxiety and various fears often develop;
4. any traumatic/painful situation that occurred in childhood, the result of which was the idea that a person does not correspond to other people’s ideas and expectations;
5. internal mental contradictions, conflicts that are not realized or not accepted;
6. a certain, not always traumatic or toxic, upbringing in a family where the child is deliberately made to be a secretive and timid person;
7. lack of developed social skills, inability to interact correctly and easily with other people and with the world in general.

It is also worth noting that some experts (psychologists, sociologists, physiologists) are of the controversial opinion that shyness is a quality that is invariably passed on from generation to generation. This trait is a kind of hereditary marker with which a person is already born. Depending on the style of upbringing and lifestyle, the conditions in which the child grows up, this trait can develop very strongly or, conversely, be suppressed over time.

From a physical health perspective, shyness may be the result of long-term or chronic exposure to harmful chemicals such as mercury. However, you need to understand that in this case there are other signs and symptoms that indicate a physiological cause.

Test

You can determine the degree of your shyness using a test. Choose 1 option from 3 proposed answers.

1. Were you compared to other children as a child?

1. Yes, but only in my favor.
2. No, my parents thought it was inappropriate.
3. Yes, they criticized.

1. A colleague invites you to dinner after work.

1. Go, because you can get to know each other better.
2. You are anxiously thinking about topics to talk about.
3. Refuse to embarrass yourself out of concern.

1. In a cafe, you accidentally drop a cup of tea on a stranger.

1. Make jokes and apologize.
2. You get lost and ask for forgiveness.
3. You blush a lot and quickly leave.

1. Your friends criticize your hairstyle.

1. Laughingly say that she is not so terrible.
2. Wondering which hairstyle will suit you best?
3. You become isolated in yourself.

1. Your shyness.

1. It appears only in the first minutes of acquaintance.
2. Gives impetus to self-improvement.
3. Keeps you from taking advantage of life's opportunities.

If you get more “A” answers, this means you are not afraid of someone else’s assessment and have self-confidence. The predominance of answers “B” indicates the presence of a feeling of shyness, but very little and only in front of strangers. A large number of “C” answers indicates that shyness is preventing you from functioning normally in society. You should consult a psychologist to solve ingrained childhood problems.

Shyness is a natural protective manifestation of the psyche that is formed in childhood, but it is acceptable only in small quantities. Shyness in the form of a pathology prevents a person from communicating with people and achieving their goals.

How to stop being shy when communicating with the opposite sex

Shyness at a young age is normal, there is no experience of communicating with the opposite sex yet, there is a fear of doing something wrong. But over time, most people become much more confident in themselves, while some, on the contrary, become withdrawn and begin to be even more afraid. What should you do, try to change yourself or remain scared and shy, but yourself?

Historically, there has been an opinion that shyness and modesty are good for a girl, but in practice we often see that beautiful, but too shy girls remain lonely because their merits are simply not noticeable. Well, shy men have even less chance of starting a relationship with a girl, since they are usually expected to make the first step. Therefore, we can say that shyness is definitely unnecessary when looking for a life partner.

Very often the reason for shyness is the feeling of being unattractive. Those who suffer from less than ideal appearance need to understand that people look at appearance only for the first few minutes or even seconds; then they judge a person by his behavior. And in order not to scare off the object of sympathy in the first minutes, it is enough to simply look well-groomed.

Of course, you need to try to correct your appearance with the right hairstyle, clothes and accessories. This will give additional advantages, but in no case will it be a decisive factor. The decisive factor here is your personality, try to show off what you have - intelligence, a sense of humor, kindness, an interesting increase or even sweet simplicity.

And yet, you shouldn’t think about your failures too often. Of course, it doesn’t hurt to analyze your mistakes, but there’s no need to constantly engage in self-flagellation. If the girl/guy of your dreams didn't appreciate your efforts, it might not have been a dream. There is no need to be afraid to start all over again; perhaps your destiny is also shy to approach and is waiting for the first step.

Self improvement

Shyness and timidity in 80% of cases indicate a person’s lack of confidence. Reasons for shyness include:

• the presence of complexes due to appearance or other individual characteristics;
• lack of experience communicating with new people;
• limited intellectual and spiritual development, which does not allow you to start or maintain a conversation;
• a person's negative attitude.

First you need to get rid of your own complexes. If they are associated with excess weight, you need to lose weight. Girls suffering from imagined unattractiveness should study the advice of stylists. Proper makeup and self-care will turn any plain woman into a real beauty. If the complexes are associated with incorrigible physiological characteristics, you should approach the problem from the psychological side. Special literature or consultation with a specialist will help with this.

In addition, it is important to constantly develop spiritually and intellectually. Erudition and erudition helps to maintain a conversation with any person

Seven important rules of a strong woman

Is it good or bad?

Often, shyness is not a good thing. It can cause discomfort and sometimes interferes with life. After all, because of his shyness, a person does not do what he wants.

For example, he likes someone, but it is difficult for him to make the first move, or to maintain a conversation if the first step is taken towards him. There are also problems at work. Because of fears of doing something wrong, a person does not take the initiative and does not put forward his ideas.

In studies everything is the same. A student may perfectly understand a subject or know the answer to a question, but shyness prevents him from fully opening up and becoming the best.

But shyness is not always a bad thing. It happens that a person has some principles of his own that are difficult for him to cross and he will not do what others do. He does not feel afraid of what is to be accomplished, but simply considers it unacceptable.

Shyness and modesty - what's the difference? Is it true that arrogance is the second happiness? Find out from the video:

How can girls deal with low self-esteem? Read about it here.

What is shyness or a person’s mind - his enemy

Shyness can be imagined as a kind of wall of the subconscious that the mind accidentally and clumsily constructed as a defense. Then this wall prevents you from feeling normal around people or just living.

After all, what shyness is is a lack of confidence in one’s social skills, accompanied by tightness, tension, constraint, and excessive timidity.

Further, the problem of embarrassment and embarrassment can develop into social phobia - fear of social contacts and all possible avoidance of it.

Many such psychological problems come from childhood; adults try to convey their requirements to the child, and children, not meeting them, get lost and may begin to feel inferior. He grows up and becomes an overly shy person, embarrassed to communicate and expose himself.

Or the parents simply did not teach their child to love and respect themselves. The later the child realizes that he is exactly the same as everyone else, that he has nothing to be ashamed of, the more difficult it will be to overcome shyness.

This is usually what happens: timid children don't try very hard to make many friends; They are usually less active and may be held back by fear of doing something wrong and being disapproved again. Shyness also grows from such fear.

This is why it is so important to devote a lot of time to raising a child and to be very attentive. After all, every minor mistake of a parent that he does not correct can become fatal.

Causes

What are the causes of shyness in adults?

1. Why are people embarrassed to look into the eyes: “the eyes are the mirror of the soul” and such a statement would be correct. You can learn a lot from the eyes, “read” emotions, and detect lies. Shy people avoid eye contact because they are afraid that feelings and emotions will be visible in their eyes. They believe that their interlocutor can find out what they really think.
2. I’m embarrassed by my appearance: almost all shy people have low self-esteem. Maybe at some point they were pointed out their shortcomings, ridiculed, or they themselves came to this conclusion. Because of this, a timid person tries to avoid being looked at.
3. I’m embarrassed to eat in front of people: how can I stop being afraid of people? A person is very vulnerable while eating, which is natural. Feeling shy in front of people is a sign of lack of self-confidence. It happens that timidity manifests itself only in the fact that a person cannot eat in front of others, but otherwise he is quite confident in himself and does not experience fear in other situations. This problem usually has its roots in childhood.
4. I’m embarrassed to go to the dentist: shyness when visiting a doctor is usually due to the fact that the patient has very neglected teeth and is afraid that the doctor will make fun of him.

How to become courageous and confident? You will find advice from psychologists on our website.

Causes of shyness. How to overcome shyness:

Negative effects of shyness

Shyness often interferes with building a happy and harmonious life. A person who is prone to shyness constantly feels embarrassed and awkward in the presence of other people. Very often, hypertrophied shyness does not completely allow an individual to coexist normally in society , causing him to experience obsessive fear, irrational anxiety, and a sense of inevitable unhappiness in the future.

A timid person often accepts other people's requests, even if they may cause him harm. At the same time, he sacrifices his own interests, personal desires, and as a result experiences deep dissatisfaction.

In many cases, along with shyness, a person is characterized by a depressive mood. A timid person does not believe in his own capabilities, experiences a depressed mood, and looks at the world only pessimistically. More often than not, she is already confident in advance of a future fiasco and does not try to take certain actions to change her life situation.

The presence of shyness only hinders social adaptation and has a negative impact on a person’s physical and mental abilities.

How to get rid of shyness?

To get rid of shyness, you don’t have to make an appointment with a psychologist. Here are some useful tips that can help you get rid of your insecurities if you have this problem:

Learn to forgive yourself for your mistakes and mistakes. Remember more often that even the smartest and most successful make mistakes.

Learn to react calmly, without panic or resentment, to criticism addressed to you

Please note that there is practically no person who is not criticized. They criticize politicians, artists, businessmen - only they, unlike you, are not very upset about it!

Don't compare yourself to anyone or get upset because someone is happier or richer than you. Firstly, you don’t know what problems those who at first glance seem to be quite successful have. Secondly, nothing prevents you from achieving the same success if you overcome your shyness complex.

Work on increasing your own self-esteem, since low self-esteem is the main cause of shyness. And to increase your self-esteem, learn to scold yourself less often and praise yourself more often.

Psychosomatic manifestations

If we consider timidity as a psychological problem, and not as a reprehensible defect, then we can get rid of one of the main reasons for this phenomenon. Getting rid of judgment is half the solution to the problem that is shyness. In psychology, this is considered one of the fundamental techniques when a value judgment addressed to a patient is absolutely unacceptable. However, in addition to psychological problems, a painfully shy person also has more pressing ones, namely psychosomatics.

If, due to shyness, profuse sweating, tremors of the limbs, disorientation in space and breathing problems begin, then we are talking about serious psychosomatic signals. Of course, it is worth ruling out the presence of a physical disease that gives the above symptoms, but everything in the body is interconnected. No wonder they say that all diseases are caused by nerves.

Psychosomatic manifestations block the path to salvation from timidity, and they must be fought to the best of one’s strength and ability. If the psychologist is unable to provide assistance, then the next step will be a referral to a psychiatrist who will prescribe a mild sedative. Of course, this dulls attention, but it also prevents you from worrying too much.

Shyness in children

Shyness in children is often a consequence of undeveloped social competence and its correction.

1. Reasons: sometimes the baby is shy because it is so beneficial for him (often, so that the child stops being shy, he will be offered some kind of encouragement); because of your age or because of your temperament; the child may feel shy in a new, unfamiliar environment; due to lack of self-confidence; due to lack of experience in a given situation.
2. Shyness in preschool children: at this age, the child becomes susceptible to the opinions of others. Whatever he does, he waits for approval. When others judge him, it hurts him. He becomes unsure of himself, begins to be afraid to do something because it may cause a negative reaction. He tries not to get into situations for which he would be criticized.
3. The child is embarrassed to answer in class: at school age, children react very painfully to comments in their direction.
   This may be the reason why they are embarrassed to answer in class, even if they know the subject well. Also at this age, they have difficult relationships with peers, and their first sympathy often appears for their classmates. Excessive demands from parents and teachers lead to the fact that the child may be afraid to answer insufficiently well, get a bad grade, and then be scolded.

How to relieve a child from tightness and shyness?

When Shyness Attacks

Sometimes we have to admit that severe shyness is a disease, despite the absence of such a diagnosis in medical practice. If a person is at first embarrassed to smile at another person or timid when approached by a representative of the opposite sex, and then reaches voluntary self-isolation, then we are talking about a powerful attack from a personal problem.

Shyness can sometimes grow to unimaginable proportions, when it already becomes absurd. In order to prevent this manifestation of timidity, which is destructive for the personality, it is advisable to fight the disadvantage to the best of your ability and ability.

“Shy baby - what is he like?” Causes. Symptoms. Recommendations

Natalia Pavlova

“Shy baby - what is he like?” Causes. Symptoms. Recommendations

Shy baby - what is he like?

Causes.

Symptoms.

Recommendations.

Shyness in a child is a state of mental health and his behavior among others, the main characteristics of which are timidity, indecisiveness, shyness, fearfulness and constraint. Most often, it first appears at an early age and gives children such traits as modesty, obedience, and restraint.

Reasons for the development of shyness in children.

It is known that the child’s psyche is not yet a fully formed system. Such imperfection makes the child vulnerable to even the most seemingly trivial situations. As a result, the brain generates the activation of many defensive reactions, including shyness, secrecy and uncertainty.

There are several main causes of shyness in children:

• Genetic predisposition

. To date, many scientific studies have proven that heredity is often the main and only triggering factor in the development of this condition. The accumulation of various mutations over a number of generations puts every child born in the future at risk. In this case, they speak of almost one hundred percent propensity.

• Natural factors

. It is worth mentioning here that each person has a specific type of nervous system. It is believed that it is introverts (secretive and withdrawn) who are most susceptible to developing such a quality as shyness. People with melancholic and phlegmatic types of temperament also form a huge risk group, but their absence also does not exclude the possibility of getting it. Research shows that excessive activity in childhood, once stopped, can lead to shyness later on.

• Social environment

. This group includes all kinds of connections between the child and the outside world. Of course, the most important thing is family upbringing. The main problems are increased guardianship or, conversely, distance from the child’s mental problems. Parents are not able to provide moral comfort and support, deciding everything for him or not being interested in him at all. In this case, shyness is formed persistently and can accompany the whole life. It happens that the reason is hidden in relation to peers. Excessive aggressiveness or activity of other children can suppress the desire to communicate with them.

• Adaptation disorder

. Every few years in a child’s life, he experiences some kind of adaptive reactions - to crawling, walking, self-care, attending kindergarten, school and many other institutions. As they arise, positive and negative character traits are formed, which cultivate in the child the ability to resist external influences. If this process does not go well, it can lead to the development of uncertainty, indecisiveness and shyness.

• Somatic pathology.

This refers to the presence of diseases of internal organs, the signs of which may distinguish the child from other children. Most often this is the presence of any developmental pathologies, traces of burns, frostbite, wounds that left marks on the body. Very often this becomes the reason for excessive attention or even teasing. This reaction can also be traced to disabled children. In view of this, in order to limit himself, the baby closes himself off, moves away from others, talks less and prefers to be alone most of the time.

• Wrong upbringing.

Parental influence primarily shapes the child as an individual. If there is too much of it, excessive guardianship leads to complete lack of independence and indecisiveness in the future. Also, if maternal care becomes more rigid and demands on children exceed their capabilities, an inferiority complex arises. Such a child withdraws and considers himself not good enough to appear in society.

The main symptoms of shyness in a child.

To know how to help a child overcome shyness, you need to learn several of its signs.

Among them:

1. General signs.

These include caution and attentiveness to every step. Such children almost never fall off a bicycle, because it is easier for them not to sit on it at all, so that this does not happen. A quiet voice, increased blood pressure, rapid pulse, abdominal discomfort, profuse sweating, a feeling of tension in all muscle groups, and anxiety are the main types of children’s body reactions to stress. There may also be a blush on the cheeks. Most often, these symptoms are the first to have a negative impact on the child and follow him everywhere.

2. Self-criticism

. Such children are overly demanding and cruel towards their personality. They constantly feel that they are not doing enough in one area or another. This also applies to appearance and manner of communication with representatives of the opposite sex. The child does not feel complete and considers him not good enough in comparison with others. As a result, he becomes alienated and distant from others.

3. Stealth

. This trait implies isolation in any team. Whether at school or at home, the baby cannot share his thoughts and considerations with anyone. In a circle of people, such children try to become invisible, disappear from the crowd and do not like it when too much attention is drawn to them. They can tell their opinion or ask for advice only from certain people, and if they themselves want to do so.

4. Shyness.

Almost everyone gets an irreplaceable feeling of satisfaction when they are praised, but not these children. It is better for them to be in the shadow of their peers or to remain completely unnoticed among the rest. They prefer to hide their ambitions and not advertise them, even if they have many talents.

5. Shyness.

The trait is not specific, but very often accompanies a shy child. The most pronounced is the fear of something new. This may be either a reluctance to change the usual old clothes or to move to a new place of residence. It is very difficult for them to establish contact with strangers, and such children, as a rule, do not want to make new friends.

6. Indecisiveness.

If an ordinary child is asked to go on a trip, he will not think twice before agreeing. But shy children will weigh everything for a long time and doubt. This applies to everything - what ice cream to choose, what shoes to buy and what to give for a birthday. These questions will torment and scroll through your head several times. Only after weighing all the pros and cons will some answer be given.

How to deal with shyness in a child.

Tips for parents

Mom and dad are the first and most important advisers in a child’s life. It is from them that he copies most of his behavior patterns, and they also correct his own. It is very important that parents monitor the psycho-emotional state of their children and help them adapt to new stages in life. This is especially necessary if their child experiences difficulties in communicating and realizing himself as an individual.

To know how to overcome shyness in a child, you need to follow the following tips:

• Don't scold.

Screaming will provoke even greater secrecy and shyness. Children will feel guilty for this behavior and will not come to their parents for advice or help in the future. This will only aggravate the situation and narrow the circle of trust to its complete absence. This behavior will make the child withdraw into himself, and it will be much more difficult to get him out of this state.

• Be interested in personal life

. Children in the modern world are little adults. Don't think that there is nothing to talk about with them. These little people contain within themselves a huge inner world of experiences and worries that they cannot yet cope with alone. You need to find the right approach to the child, ask what he is thinking about, why he is doing this or that action, who he is friends with and what he is sad about. It is very important. If you manage to become not only a parent to him, but also a friend, you can save him from the problem yourself.

• Be able to listen.

Children need to be noticed. Due to the hustle and bustle of everyday life, there is often not enough time for them. And while we imitate attentiveness, the children show and tell us about all their troubles. But, unfortunately, sooner or later they get tired of doing this. They get offended, withdraw into themselves and will no longer make contact. Therefore, every word spoken by children has its own meaning. You must be able to not only listen to them, but also hear them in order to have time to notice any problems and correct them.

• Support.

You need to be able to accept defeats, just like victories. Children do not always know how to do this themselves correctly. Often, after just one failure, they never dare to try something again. Parental duty obliges to explain to the child that he is loved as he is and is not required to be perfect. You need to teach him to slowly and confidently step towards his goal, despite previous defeats.

• Be an example.

Children are a reflection of their parents. No one's features will be reflected in them as much as the features of mother in girls and father's in boys. Being overly demanding can lead to feelings of shame. The child will be ashamed of his mistakes and worry that he did not live up to expectations. Therefore, parents, first of all, need to be able to admit their mistakes and show by personal example that this is not scary, but only stimulates further action.

• Encourage

. In fact, all children deserve the attention of their parents, and these especially. Among the best ways are going to a cafe, amusement park, or performances. Various comedy performances will help the child learn to perceive himself and not pass off peculiarities as oddities. Spending time in familiar circles has an overall positive effect on children.

Recommendations for the child.

Still, it is better to solve the problem from the inside. Overcoming shyness in children is their own responsibility. No matter how hard others try, they must take the most important step themselves. After all, until the child himself begins to change his attitude towards reality, all attempts to help from the outside will be in vain.

To make it easier for him to do this, you can offer the following tips:

1. Be confident.

Even if fear does not go away, you should always prohibit it from expressing itself in any way externally. To make it easier, you need to straighten your shoulders, lift your chin, and take a deep breath. This will help show others that there is no panic and that opposite them is a completely confident person.

2. Smile.

This is a win-win option to gain the trust of your opponent. There is absolutely no need to fake a panicked laugh or a fit of laughter. A slight smile on your face will be enough, which will relax you and will predispose you towards other children in the future.

3. Look into the eyes.

This is the most difficult, but most effective remedy. It is believed that a person who is able to keep his gaze on his interlocutor has an advantage over him. Maintaining eye contact also helps to maintain a conversation, and the person himself feels more confident and calm.

4. Actively conduct dialogue.

You must not be shy to ask and willingly answer the questions asked. It is best to start with short verbal exchanges, and over time you will be able to join any conversation without difficulty. It is also important to show others your interest in what is happening.

5. Attend different events.

Not the easiest task, but it has great significance. After all, in a wide circle, a shy child will initially only be able to listen and gradually join the team. This way, too much attention will not be drawn to him, and he will be able to open up to others on his own. Suitable for children's birthdays and holidays.

6. Finding a hobby.

Trying to find yourself is very important. To do this, you can enroll in various clubs on creativity, handicrafts or with a sports bias. In most cases, something you love will soon appear in which you can express yourself and get a lot of pleasure from it. One of the best options is a theater studio. In such a place you can develop a huge number of positive qualities, as well as get rid of shyness, indecision and shyness.

7. Fight fears.

To do this, you need to decide to do what scares you the most, dare to take difficult actions and overcome your fear. This always presents many difficulties and obstacles. But after eliminating at least one fear comes a feeling of pride and joy for yourself.

8. Embrace shyness.

Denial of one's own identity ruins the lives of many people. It is easier to deal with problems if you are not afraid of them and accept them. You need to realize your special trait and not be ashamed of it, but transform, change or get rid of it. Once this feeling comes, it will bring relief in the emotional sphere.

9. Get help.

Close people exist to help us. Independence is good only where it can destroy the problem. In this case, taking outside advice will be the right decision and will help you quickly adapt to the unknown. Sometimes these are parents, friends, or maybe complete strangers who have found a common language.

10. Play sports.

In most cases, this approach helps the fastest. Physical exercise not only has a general strengthening effect on the body, but also strengthens the position of such a child among others (especially if it is a boy). New skills and opportunities emerge that you can only admire.

Useful games and exercises.

Drawing “What I am and what I would like to be”

The child is asked to draw himself twice. In the first picture - as he is now, in the second - as he wants to be. Next, you look at the pictures and compare them. The differences between the drawings reflect the child's self-esteem.

In the drawings of some children, there is a coincidence between the “real” and “ideal” selves. Such children have somewhat inflated self-esteem.

There is a discrepancy in the drawings of other children, but it is small; their self-esteem is adequate. Children with low self-esteem draw themselves in one color, often dark, small in size, and the drawing is sloppy. And when drawing the ideal self, a large number of colors and bright clothes are used. After drawing, it is useful to discuss with your child what needs to be done to become the person he wants to be.

"Playing out situations"

For role-playing and discussion, you can offer situations that are the most difficult for the child:

You have come to a new kindergarten group, get to know the children.

You went to the store.

Children play in the yard, you also want to play with them; What do we have to do.

Guests have arrived, show them your room and toys.

Game "Cake" (from 4 years old)

Place the child on the mat with other children or relatives around him. Host: “Now we will make a cake out of you.” One participant is a torment. Another is sugar, the third is milk, etc. The host is a cook, now he will prepare a magnificent dish. First you need to knead the dough. Flour is needed - the “flour” is “sprinkled” with the hands on the body of the person lying down, lightly massaging it. Now you need sugar - he “sprinkles” the body, carefully touching it, then the milk “spills” with his hands over the body, etc. When everything is in place, the cook thoroughly “stirs” (massages) the dough, puts it in the oven, the dough rises there (evenly, breathes calmly, all the “components” also breathe). Finally the dough was baked. To make the cake beautiful, you need to decorate it with cream flowers. All participants, touching the cake, give it a “flower” and describe it. The cake is very beautiful!

Watch the expression on the “cake’s” face, it should be happy, you can laugh too. Instead of a cake, you can cook whatever your child wants - chicken, pancakes, compote.

"Mirror"

This game can be played alone with a child or with several children. The child looks in the “mirror”, which repeats all his movements, gestures, and facial expressions. The “mirror” can be a parent or another child. You can portray not yourself, but someone else. “Mirror” must guess, then switch roles. Play helps the child open up, feel more free and relaxed.

You can play “Hide and Seek”, and “Shop”, and simply inflate balloons to see who is faster. The main thing is that the child successfully copes with tasks and learns to lose with dignity.

The Hidden Benefits of Shyness

Being shy is a certain mental comfort zone. This has qualities and positive sides.

• Helps avoid failures in communication.
• To others, such a person seems reserved, serious, and balanced, especially if shyness is moderate or average.
• Protects against conflict situations, since a person does not express his opinion and would rather remain silent than enter into an argument.
• Shyness is a great excuse for not attending events and staying in a secluded, comfortable environment.
• The interlocutor thinks that you are an attentive listener.
• Shyness maintains distance between people, which protects against disappointment and other unpleasant consequences of communication.

This is why not all people actually want to get rid of this feeling. But this must be done, since the roots of shyness are often intertwined with self-doubt and can significantly ruin life.

Diagnostics

To cope with shyness, which prevents you from fully communicating and impedes career growth, you first need to make sure that this character trait is inherent in you. In such cases, psychologists usually use a test developed by specialists at Stanford University. But first, it’s enough to go through the simplest online diagnostics.

Diagnostic test “Are you shy?”

Assignment: Answer frankly “yes” or “no” to 10 questions.

For each “yes” answer, 1 point is given. “No” is not evaluated in any way. Interpretation:

• 0-4 points - you do not suffer from shyness;
• 5-6 points - mild shyness;
• 7-8 points - moderate;
• 9-10 - excessive, requiring work with a specialist.

If you score 5-8 points, you can try to overcome shyness on your own. There are many methods, but the results need to be constantly monitored. A month after starting classes, take this test again - if the situation does not improve or even worsens, it is advisable to consult a specialist.

Signs

Various manifestations of shyness are usually visible to the naked eye. Such a person easily stands out in the crowd. If you talk to him, this character trait will become even more obvious in communication.

Behavior:

• looks lost;
• does not carry on conversation;
• reluctantly, but fulfills requests (brings water to guests, takes a certain place at the table, passes on instructions to others) because he does not know how to say “no”;
• answers questions in monosyllables and reluctantly;
• always trying to leave;
• smiles tightly;
• speaks quietly and indistinctly;
• silently agrees with everyone without expressing his opinion;
• performs any monotonous movement (tugging at hair or a scarf);
• looks to the side or down.

Internal state:

• diffidence;
• low self-esteem;
• fear of failure, betrayal, humiliation, ridicule;
• constant expectation of a catch, which forces you to stay as tense as possible;
• anxiety, worry, excitement (all groundless);
• the constant voice of the internal critic in the head (“I said the wrong thing,” “I did the wrong thing,” “I looked at it wrong,” etc.);
• indecisiveness, timidity, shyness;
• pessimism.

Physical sensations:

• sticky cold sweat;
• a burning, unhealthy blush on the cheeks against the background of the pallor of the rest of the skin;
• increased heart rate;
• dizziness;
• heaviness in the legs;
• knocking in the temples;
• slight trembling of fingers.

Shyness only manifests itself in certain situations. For example, when there is a large crowd of people, when meeting a stranger, when speaking in public (this includes working at the blackboard in the classroom), when receiving criticism and comments from the outside. However, in a familiar circle (with parents, a loved one) it may be completely unnoticeable.

The stronger the physical signs of shyness manifest themselves, the worse the situation. In such cases, it is a borderline condition and in many ways resembles autism. Over time, it can cause the development of various phobias: logophobia (fear of speaking), haptophobia (touching), gelotophobia (ridicule), genophobia (sex), ochlophobia (crowds), peiraphobia (public speaking), social phobia (society).

In what situations does shyness manifest itself?

All people experience shyness one way or another, the only question is how often. There are a number of situations for which this behavior is normal. Everything new and unfamiliar can affect decisiveness, especially the official environment and everyone's attention. Shyness can appear in parallel with nervousness, when all thoughts are focused on not losing face (for example, when meeting an attractive person). No one wants to be rejected, but only shy people exaggerate this feeling.