Basic strategies for behavior in conflict situations

To answer the question of what methods of conflict resolution exist, you need to understand what types of conflict situations exist. After all, what is the best way to resolve conflict in a family may not be suitable for resolving collective disputes. Let us first consider general, universal techniques and move on to the specifics of individual types of conflict resolution methods.

Types of conflicts and ways to resolve them

The choice of ways to resolve a conflict depends on its type. There are several typologies, depending on the criterion underlying the controversial situation.

Several presented types can be combined in one conflict. For example, a conflict of interests arises between spouses, intrapersonal and destructive, in an organization intergroup and compromise, etc.

Universal methods of conflict resolution can be applied to each type, depending on the desire of the parties to achieve common goals and willingness to make concessions. The process of finding an adequate way to resolve a conflict depends on all participants in the process.

Ways to resolve conflict can be

And so, a conflict has arisen, what ways to resolve a conflict situation can be:

  • direct or indirect impact directly on the opponent or his defense;
  • changing the balance of forces, for example, increasing one’s own resources for victory;
  • false or true information from the enemy about their intentions;
  • assessment of the enemy's capabilities.

The listed methods are interconnected. For example, in order to decide which method of resolving a controversial situation to use, you will first need to assess the enemy’s capabilities and whether there is a likelihood of attracting other resources from his side. And only after this can you begin to change the balance of forces and influence your opponent.

Methods for resolving contradictions can be creative or destructive. The former take into account the interests of the warring parties, and the latter include options when in the end someone will remain a loser.

Conflict resolution methods:

  1. NEGATIVE - methods of struggle, the goal of which is to achieve victory at any cost for only one of the parties.
  2. POSITIVE - contribute to maintaining unity between opponents, that is, they are aimed at preserving the interests of both parties, these include constructive rivalry, negotiations, etc.

Negative methods:

  1. Competition is defending one’s interests to the detriment of the needs of the enemy.
  2. Achieving victory due to obtaining the necessary freedom of action - creating freedom of action for yourself and limiting the enemy in this.
  3. Using your opponent's reserves for your own benefit.
  4. Discrediting leaders is incapacitating the enemy’s main management unit.
  5. The method of delay - delaying the matter, is used to select a suitable field of action and create a favorable balance of forces.
  6. Avoiding the fight - in order to gain time, change the situation to a more advantageous one.
  7. Submission is forcing the opposing side to sacrifice its interests.

Positive methods:

  1. Negotiations imply partial satisfaction of the interests of both parties.
  2. Compromise is the achievement of a mutual voluntary agreement, with the satisfaction of the demands of both parties or partial rejection of them.
  3. Cooperation is mutually beneficial interaction to achieve common goals.
  4. Mutual concessions are partial satisfaction of the interests of both parties through mutual partial renunciation of their positions.
  5. Mediation is the use of a third party to resolve disputes.

It is impossible to say unambiguously which option will be the most optimal way to resolve the conflict. For example, if we are talking about an organization, then experts note that subordination is the best way to resolve a controversial issue. But if we apply it to the family, it will not be the most advantageous.

Thus, the psychology of conflict implies a lack of agreement between two or more parties, and suggests various ways to resolve it.

Table of ways to resolve conflicts

Negotiations as a way to resolve conflict

Methods of conflict resolution include negotiations and mediation. We will consider the second option later, but for now let’s talk about the negotiation process as a way to resolve contradictions.

Negotiations as a way to resolve a conflict represent an interaction between the parties, in which each of them puts forward its own demands, but at the same time is ready to make concessions and compromise.

Distinctive features of negotiations:

  • assume equality and direct interaction between the parties;
  • exclude options for resolving the situation by force and legal proceedings;
  • participants have the opportunity to control the procedure, change the conditions by mutual agreement, and determine the time frame;
  • are conducted on the basis of certain rules with which the participants in the process agree;
  • The decision taken is informal.

But the goal of negotiations is not always to make a specific decision. This method of interaction can also perform other functions.

Negotiation functions:

  • solution to the problem;
  • informational - obtaining information from participants in the process about factors that are important to them regarding the settlement of a controversial issue, but sometimes the technique is used to misinform opponents;
  • communicative – establishing connections between participants in the process;
  • regulatory – regulation and control of the parties’ actions;
  • propaganda - influencing public opinion in order to attract allies.

Depending on the purpose of interaction, the parties can choose one of the negotiation strategies :

  1. Positional bargaining is a confrontational type of behavior in which participants strive to realize their own goals to the fullest extent possible, without taking into account the interests of the opponent.
  2. Negotiations based on interests - involving a partner type of behavior, taking into account mutual interests.

How does the process itself work? Having decided on the functions and strategy, the parties begin negotiations.

Stages of negotiations:

  • announcing the positions of the parties, defining goals and interests;
  • joint discussion of controversial issues;
  • reaching an agreement on a conflict situation.

Thus, we can conclude that in most cases negotiations are aimed at satisfying the requirements (in whole or in part) of all participants in the process. But in some cases they can also act as a negative method of conflict resolution.

A way to resolve conflict through mutual concessions

There are other ways to resolve conflicts. Compromise - achieving a common goal through mutual concessions . In the literature, these two definitions are used as identical, since the principle of action in both cases is the same.

The method of resolving the conflict through mutual concessions of the parties suggests that opponents must take a number of steps towards each other, taking into account the result that will satisfy everyone. In this case, a mutual renunciation of ambitions and interests will be required in order to achieve maximum mutual benefit.

This method has its pros and cons:

Strategies and methods may differ within the same group. This can be said about mutual concessions.

Types of compromise:

  1. Voluntary mutual concessions, when an agreement is reached without putting pressure on one of the parties.
  2. Forced compromise - conditions that participants in the process are forced to accept under the influence of various factors.

The ability to make mutual concessions is a sign of realism and a high culture of communication. Should compromise be used as a way to resolve conflict or not? Before resorting to this option, you should try others that can achieve maximum satisfaction of interests.

Mediation as a way to resolve conflicts

Another way to resolve the conflict may be mediation during negotiations. This method of interaction involves the participation of a third party in resolving a controversial issue.

So why is there a need to attract independent participants, why is it impossible to independently come to a mutual agreement?

In what cases is it advisable to involve an intermediary?:

  1. The parties are ready to make concessions and seek a compromise, but cannot come to a common opinion.
  2. It is impossible to organize direct communication between the parties to the conflict.
  3. Monitoring the implementation of the decision is required.
  4. The role of an authoritative mediator is necessary to preserve the image of both parties.
  5. Confidentiality is required when dealing with disagreements.

Thus, the role of the intermediary is reduced to performing the following functions :

  • organization of communication between the parties;
  • offering options for solving the situation;
  • providing assistance in preparing final documents;
  • monitoring compliance with accepted agreements.

All that remains is to choose the right intermediary. To do this, you should pay attention to the following criteria for an independent expert :

  • competence, possession of mediation skills;
  • impartiality - the third party must remain neutral in relation to opposition participants;
  • authority – having a certain authority in society, the mediator is able to influence opponents to accept an agreement.

The best result of a mediator is to resolve the dispute and reach an agreement. But the parties do not always come to this conclusion.

Cooperation as the best way to resolve conflict

The most constructive way to resolve conflicts is cooperation . This type of interaction involves immersing all participants in a problematic situation in order to reach an agreement that satisfies the interests of all parties.

Distinctive features of cooperation:

  1. The opposition parties are not enemies, but allies who are trying to find an optimal solution for everyone.
  2. Involvement of the parties in the process of resolving a controversial issue.
  3. Mutual interest of the parties in finding beneficial ways to solve the problem.
  4. The overall benefit of using this method of conflict resolution.
  5. Requires more time.
  6. Allows you to see the hidden causes of the conflict of all participants, thereby contributing to an effective solution to the problem.

But it is important to understand when exactly it is advisable to use cooperation as a way to resolve conflict:

  • reaching an agreement is important for both parties;
  • the presence of strong ties and prospects for further interaction with the opponent;
  • there is time to work through the problem and select suitable solutions;
  • the parties are able to present their version of what is happening and listen to each other;
  • Opposition participants have equal rights or are ready to ignore the difference in position in order to resolve the situation that has arisen

Cooperation can be classified as a friendly method of conflict resolution, but at the same time it is the most difficult, since a decision must be made taking into account not only one’s needs, but also the interests of the opposite party. With this method of interaction, opponents are ready to listen to each other and come to a common agreement that will suit everyone as much as possible.

Rivalry (coercion)

During a conflict situation, the subject puts his own interests above the interests of the opponent, completely ignoring his opinions and arguments. He persistently and aggressively achieves his goal. Forces you to accept your point of view in every possible way. He uses his power and position to coerce.

Competition as a style will be effective where the leader, due to his knowledge, has great power over his subordinates.

The likelihood that the wrong decision will be made is high. Since only one point of view is presented, others are not even discussed.

Rivalry as a style of behavior in a conflict situation can cause resentment among more educated and experienced personnel.

Family conflicts and ways to resolve them

As we have already discussed in one of the articles, conflicts in a family arise at different stages of its life cycle. Based on the above typology, conflicts in the family can be divided into two general groups:

  • constructive - as a result of the resolution of which the parties feel full or partial satisfaction of their needs, interests, goals;
  • destructive, the result of which is divorce.

Conflicts in the family and ways to resolve them depend on the desire of the parties to interact and reach a common goal. Let's consider which of the methods are applicable to family relationships:

  • competition or confrontation - consists of fighting the obvious loss of one of the parties;
  • avoidance - avoiding conflict, maintaining neutrality;
  • cooperation is a win for all conflicting parties;
  • concession – agreement with the conflict participant, reconciliation;
  • compromise is the minimum acceptable solution for opponents.

These are ways to resolve conflicts from a psychological point of view. You can read how they are implemented in practice here.

I-statements

This psychological technique allows you to mitigate or prevent conflict. The main principle is to shift the emphasis to your thoughts and emotions, and not point out your partner’s actions and mistakes. The term “I-statement” was introduced by American psychologist Thomas Gordon in his book “Training an Effective Parent.” Initially, the technique was used in working with teenagers, now adults actively use it among themselves in order to build a dialogue without confrontation.

In your statement, be sure to indicate the fact (not the emotion!) that unbalances you. Clarify what feelings you experience and what the consequences of the action under discussion are. Finally, explain what behavior/action/decision you think is acceptable.

Using the I statement, you can:

  • state your position without diminishing the interests of your interlocutor;
  • express your point of view truthfully;
  • prevent manipulation and pressure from the interlocutor;
  • give the opponent the right to choose;
  • gently point out contradictions in the interlocutor’s position.

How to construct an I-statement

Source phraseI-statement
Are you not listening to me again? Do you really care what I say? I'm sorry that you ignore my words. After all, I say important things, they relate to compliance with laws. If you listen to me, we will have no disagreements with the labor inspectorate.
What you are proposing is unacceptable - it is a crime!I don't like that you suggest breaking the law. Registration of junior technical personnel without employment contracts may threaten the company with a fine. Let me think about how we can competently draw up documents in the current situation, and tomorrow we will calmly discuss everything.
You're late again! How can? Is it really impossible to get up early and leave on time! I'm unhappy with your tardiness. At the morning planning meeting, we summarize the results of the previous day, and without your information, the overall picture of the department’s work cannot be formed. Please plan your time so as not to let me and my colleagues down.

In I-statements, accusations, generalizations, labeling and, of course, insults are unacceptable. You should also not express your emotions in a rude manner (“I’m furious!”, “I’m shocked by your behavior!”), try to use neutral epithets.

The technique of I-statements requires some practice: it is not always possible to immediately calm down emotions, stop throwing accusations and switch to a constructive attitude. But if you master this technique, your interlocutor will not need to defend himself. I-statements invite him to dialogue, give him the opportunity, without losing his dignity, to express his opinion.

Ways to resolve intrapersonal conflicts

The peculiarity of overcoming intrapersonal conflict is that the result has a positive effect on the individual and his self-development, self-improvement, and achieving a state of internal balance.

The process of resolving intrapersonal conflict depends on the individual characteristics of the individual: age, character, worldview, etc. Therefore, there are no universal, suitable for everyone, methods for resolving internal contradictions.

Basic ways to resolve intrapersonal conflicts:

  1. Compromise as a way to resolve intrapersonal conflict is the choice of one of the possible options and its implementation.
  2. Avoidance is a conscious departure from a problem, with the hope that it will disappear on its own.
  3. Sublimation is the redirection of negative energy into another direction, for example into creativity.
  4. Idealization is the endowment of the object that caused the conflict with non-existent properties in order to avoid negative emotions, but the achieved state of balance is temporary, since this method ultimately does not eliminate the causes of internal contradictions.
  5. Repression is the repression of negative emotions and thoughts.
  6. Correction is a change in attitude towards factors contributing to the manifestation of intrapersonal conflict.

In practice, these methods might look like this:

  • assessment of the situation - identifying internal contradictions that led to a negative state.
  • assessment of the importance of conflict for personal development, and its impact on other areas of activity.
  • localization of the immediate cause of conflicts.
  • reducing the level of emotional negative state, it is necessary to give vent to accumulated anxiety, worry, and fear.
  • changing external conditions at home or work, as far as possible.
  • reduction in the level of aspirations.

Most often, when an intrapersonal conflict arises, defense mechanisms are activated to suppress negative emotions - fear, anxiety, uncertainty. But unfortunately, this method is not able to eliminate the very cause of internal contradictions, so it is necessary to consciously choose options that will prevent a recurrence of the crisis.

The concept of human behavior strategies in a conflict situation

A person, finding himself in a conflict situation, strives to choose a certain model of behavior that corresponds not only to objective data, but also to his subjective state. Thus, when faced with a conflict situation, a person seeks to choose a strategy of behavior in the conflict.

The general characteristics of the strategy of behavior in conflict are similar, but the individual characteristics of any conflict will be different. Just as there are no two absolutely identical people, there are no identical types of conflict. In order to be able to effectively resolve conflicts, a person needs knowledge of how to act when they arise, that is, what manner of behavior should be chosen, what words to choose, what specific actions are suitable for a given situation.

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One of the outstanding conflictologists, Kenneth Thomas, divided all types of human behavior in conflict into two main situations:

  • the subject seeks to defend his personal interests in the conflict;
  • the subject takes into account the interests of other people when resolving a conflict.

Conflicts in the organization and possible ways to resolve them

Methods for resolving conflicts in an organization can be divided into 3 general groups:

  1. Structural methods based on 4 mechanisms:
  • a description of the specific job requirements;
  • establishment of hierarchical powers at all levels of the structure;
  • uniting the team for one common goal;
  • introduction of an employee incentive system.
  1. Regulatory methods involving normative control and regulation of the activities of representatives of the organization.
  2. Constructive methods aimed at resolving functional conflicts. For example, disputes that ultimately help make the only right decision.

From the general typology presented above, the following options can be used to resolve conflicts in an organization:

  1. Competitive methods are used only in cases where a quick solution to the problem is required.
  2. Avoidance or evasion is reasonable in situations where time is required to gather information or when it takes too much time to resolve the consequences of conflict resolution.
  3. Compromise – opponents mutually strive for a solution that suits them.
  4. Adaptation - used in situations where maintaining harmonious relationships in a team is important.
  5. Cooperation – allows opposing parties to develop a joint solution.

To prevent the occurrence of conflicts in an organization, it is necessary to create an effective management structure, correct allocation of resources, improve working conditions, and monitor compliance with accepted norms and rules.

The strategy of “avoiding failures” - greetings from childhood

The other day I saw this picture in the lobby of a children's clinic. Mom dresses the baby. He tries to crawl off the table. Mom holds him and gently repeats the same thing to him: “You’ll fall, you’ll fall now. You’ll fall, you’ll fall now.”

There are indeed many dangers around our children: cars, knives, electrical appliances... Without using the strategy of “avoiding failures,” life would become dangerous. Let's say a child sees a toy on the top shelf and tries to get it at any cost. He climbs onto the nightstand and climbs the shelves. They take him down, hold him down, explain that it is dangerous, but he climbs and climbs again.

Avoiding failure is not always a bad thing. Fear of danger is a protective reaction of the body. But what will happen if you constantly educate with fear - over the edge? “Don’t run - you’ll fall”, “don’t jump - you’ll hit yourself”, “don’t poke your nose in - you won’t succeed.” And children, as often happens, believe us. And now they themselves are afraid of falling, hitting themselves, afraid that it won’t work out. They get used to being afraid. And then fear becomes not a friend, but an enemy. It no longer protects, but slows down. It does not allow you to live the life that a person wants, but constantly pulls him down to the foot of the mountain. And the top begins to seem like something unrealistic, intended for others. She no longer fits into the life scenario. These are “different” and talented, and funny, and they do everything so well! And I... well, it’s better not to interfere.

A person unconsciously seeks confirmation of his doubts. He is prepared for failure in advance. And when failure happens, the usual: “That’s what I thought!” Although, with more persistence, everything could have worked out.

A key component in this is the feeling of shame. Worry: “How will others evaluate me?”

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