Almost every woman once wonders how to manipulate a man, and this happens due to various circumstances. Often the reason for this desire is dissatisfaction with the development of relationships or a desire to change something in them. In fact, it is not as difficult as many may think, and after reading our article, you can see for yourself.
Example from life
A normal everyday situation. The man called a friend, but out of habit he reflexively dialed his girlfriend’s number:
- Hello, I called Volodya, but I automatically dialed your number.
-I see, I didn’t want to call, but I did.
One could have said something positive like: “How great it turned out, it means you love me so much that my number is dialed by itself, etc.”, but that was not the case. The woman chooses exactly the answer that will make the man make excuses and feel guilty. And, of course, at the first opportunity, she will insert into the conversation the phrase uttered in an offended voice: “Okay, I won’t bother you, you didn’t want to call me.”
A sincere man who does not understand that this is a psychological game will be confused, feel like an idiot, will be forced to explain something, make excuses. And the woman will receive a psychological advantage. And of course, he will stop respecting such a man.
What to do if you have a difficult character
Mnemonics for memory development for adults and children - methods and techniques
Not all young people can boast of complaisance and a high level of kindness. Some representatives have a difficult character. They are wary of praise, have difficulty getting close, and often perceive everything negatively.
Often such people have sad stories in their past. Therefore, they get used to being wary of women. As a rule, even such objects can be dealt with.
It will take a lot of time to process such a guy, but the result may be worth the effort
Difficult guys can also fall in love. Therefore, a girl needs to support her chosen one, never judge, often be enough and fulfill his wishes. This will give you the opportunity to gain his trust.
This correct tactic will pay off in the future, since a man will do anything for the only lady he loves. After strengthening the relationship, a woman can ask for whatever she wants and be favored.
Worth remembering! Any complex character can be changed. The main thing is that the girl really wants to control this person for the good.
Examples of manipulative words and phrases
About love
No matter how trite, the words “I love you” are truly powerful. Moreover, it is not just their pronunciation that is meant - they must sound in a certain context.
The most common example: “I love you more than anyone in the world, do something for me.” In many cases, this scheme actually works. It is important to remember that if you want to manipulate a man, do not use this phrase too often. It evokes a sense of duty in a man, and if he often has to feel like a “debtor,” this will result in irritation.
Arouse pity
Many girls are afraid of looking pathetic, but in this case we are talking about something else. Throw away these stereotypes that you have to be strong - leave this role to the man, use weakness.
Example: “I’m so tired today, have pity on me, please cook me dinner,” “How can you do this, knowing what I had to go through before.” Such phrases carry out manipulation and pressure for pity. Remember: this manipulation, like any other, cannot be used too often. If you constantly press for pity, you will face irritation. The man will begin to feel that you want to deceive him, so moderation is important.
Accusations
Typically, the method is used when there is an unconscious desire to protect oneself. This often happens during quarrels.
A simple example: “I sacrifice so much for you, do so much for the relationship, and you do this to me?” Such statements provoke feelings of guilt. Manipulation is very effective, but in rare cases.
What do manipulations lead to?
Here is a girl sitting, stylishly dressed, sexy, easily playing with a glass of wine and with her whole appearance showing the man why she came on a date.
Around her, the air begins to crackle with tension, and the gentlemen are led to provocation, like a bull to a red rag.
Only after the date, having played the role of a seductress, the girl “merges” with the words “Well, I’m not like that, only after the wedding.”
She plays on male instincts, awakens a hunter in a man who wants to achieve, conquer, conquer.
What's next? The candy-bouquet period is over, your cosmetics have appeared in his bathroom, and the closet is bursting with your things.
The role has been played, and now the guy needs to be restrained somehow. And other manipulations are used.
Life is like running in a vicious circle, because the girl simply doesn’t know any other way to build a relationship.
What's wrong with manipulation?
1. A woman always has to play the chosen role and hope that her partner will not notice the substitution. But men are not idiots.
Here a couple walks past a display case with dresses, and the girl sighs: “Oh, Svetka’s husband bought such a fur coat yesterday, how happy she is, but they keep delaying my salary. And I really want this dress,” and my eyes are already filled with tears.
A provocation will work a couple of times, and then you’ll have to come up with something new. But the partner has already had suspicions, he will be on the alert.
2. A manipulative woman attracts the same men into her life. Will the relationship be happy? Hardly. After all, partners do nothing but look out for each other’s weaknesses and pain points.
3. Internal tension grows in the couple, which often remains unspoken. The man is nervous, trying to understand what games you are playing this time.
Trust, love, respect leave the relationship... And now you are already living on the same square meters as two neighbors. We've finished the game.
How to control a man without him understanding it
To manipulate a man, you need to have endurance and some kind of talent. He must not understand that manipulation is taking place.
Important Tips
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Watch your speech
Avoid using the expressions “you have to”, “I can’t”. Other taboos: generalizations like “nobody”, “everyone”, “never”. Words to use: “possibly”, “possible”. Example: “Perhaps you can help me with the cleaning today?” Remember the golden rule of three yeses. How does it work? If you use three questions, and the first two of them assume an affirmative answer, then the third question will probably answer yes.
“Choice without choice” works well. Example: you know for sure that he doesn’t want to go anywhere in the evening. However, agreement is more realistic if options are offered: “Let’s decide, should we go to the cinema or to the cafe today?”
Display his gestures
A very well-known rule that not everyone manages to apply quietly and naturally. Try to adopt a posture similar to that of your interlocutor. pay attention to gestures: stroking hands, touching hair, etc. This will help form an invisible connection, and the interlocutor will be more susceptible to suggestion.
Remember eye contact
It is easier to manipulate a man if you know about this trick. Learn to use a long, calm gaze directly into the eyes. This will show your interest, which will help in the matter. If you don’t want to speak in your interest even with your gaze, simply use an attentive and concentrated gaze, remembering to pause every 8-12 seconds.
Touch
Women often underestimate the benefits of touch. However, psychologists say that every person needs it. There is even an exact number: 8 touches per day. Thanks to them, the so-called “anchors” are installed. Example: you remind your chosen one of how wonderful the recent concert was, while stroking his hand. Subsequently, such stroking will be associated with pleasant emotions. When you want to suggest some words to your beloved man, use this touch - this will give you a greater chance of consent. Before this, the method needs to be “trained” on several positive emotions.
Mystery and intrigue
Everyone has heard words about mystery women, mysterious strangers, and so on. What are the first associations? Intrigue, something magnetic and interesting, something striking the imagination - this is what the mystery woman is associated with. A person who can intrigue a man will be able to subjugate him. Great way to manipulate.
How exactly to use mystery to achieve your goals. Do not try to tell as much as possible about yourself: it is advisable to hide some information. Manipulation is difficult to use for those who like to talk, but those who want to become a mysterious woman will have to moderate their ardor and remain silent more often. Learn to communicate with hints and create intrigue. The measure is important: you definitely shouldn’t remain silent like a partisan. Consider a thought before voicing it. Don't immerse yourself completely: there is a risk of going unnoticed.
Mystery is good in moderation. When there is too much of it, it is not beneficial - you may be considered strange. Forget about being too frank in conversations with a man if you are at the dating stage. This deliberate honesty is especially inappropriate where it is better to remain silent for now. Example: you broke up with a man because of your own infidelity, you grew up in a dysfunctional family, and so on. Save such revelations for closer acquaintance.
At first, a little understatement is very useful. Do not neglect the typically feminine flirtatious formulation: “maybe”, “perhaps” - words that give a man hope for reciprocity, but deprive him of firm confidence. Example: a man for whom you have long felt strong sympathy suddenly began to show interest. This is not a reason to instantly confess your strong feelings to him in the first conversation.
Be discreet
It is easier for reserved women to manipulate men – both when living together and at the dating stage. You will keep your chosen one in a somewhat “suspended state”, then it will be easier to influence him. Don't overdo it or drag your feet on this.
Examples of evasive words at the beginning of an acquaintance: “I haven’t fully understood my own feelings”, “I’m not sure if I can meet you next week, let’s discuss this a little later.” This way you will make a man think about himself, and he will be more susceptible to influence.
Are you convinced that you have no mystery or mystery? Use your imagination. Remember a sad story from your life and present it correctly. Mention (without details!) that you have experienced a difficult story in your life that makes you wary of men. This will certainly interest a man: he will be interested in conquering such a cautious and distrustful woman.
The rule of the way to a man's heart
In recent years, women have become more skeptical about this rule - and in vain! A person with basic physical needs satisfied will be much more willing to comply. Satisfying hunger is one of these important needs. Experienced wives know well that it is better not to approach their husband with requests if he is hungry. Do you want to ask him for a new dress, an unplanned trip? Cook your spouse's favorite dish and start a conversation at the end of the meal. Your husband's satiety will increase his chances of getting what he wants.
Have a request for a colleague or boss? Do not approach them before lunch break - you risk only causing irritation. A man who has had lunch is more accommodating - wait until he has a bite to eat and only then voice your wish.
The method is considered a successful and simple manipulation - you simply select the right time for the request. After eating, a person is usually relaxed and easier to persuade.
Praise and compliments
Men are called the strong half of humanity, but this does not prevent them from being dependent on other people's words. They want positive evaluation of their activities. It is believed that women “love with their ears,” but men also love compliments.
Experienced manipulators successfully use these weapons. Even if the compliments are a little embellished and biased, use them! Their power is enormous.
A man should not doubt the objectivity of a compliment. It’s easier to come up with a compliment for a woman: praise her taste, choice of dress, hairstyle, hair color, blooming appearance. It is not so easy for a man to express a compliment; they often imagine a catch - they suspect others of flattery and cajolery. Praising a man requires careful consideration. A compliment expected by a man will work.
Example: he attached a shelf. Be sure to praise him, at least subconsciously he counts on kind words. Talk not only about what a great guy he is - mention how convenient this shelf provides you, how glad you are that it appeared, and how you can’t imagine how you managed without it before.
Why is praise so important? The first reason is that it is a great impetus for further action. Having received praise for even a small favor, your chosen one or any other man will be more willing to fulfill your requests in the future. Give compliments not for a specific action, but for what it brings. Example: he nailed a nail and you hung a picture. Your words: “Thanks to you, it has become so cozy here, my mood has been so lifted.”
Which men are manipulable and which are not and how to determine this
Almost all men are susceptible to manipulation. This is determined in advance when assessing the personality type.
Traditional type
Let's look at its special characteristics. Typically, such people are traditional in everything, they work five days a week, periodically visit cinemas and cafes, and value comfort, stability, and security. Logic is often used. It is not difficult to manipulate a type by addressing its basic needs. Compliments, the mentioned “path through the stomach” rule, the promise of some comfort, and so on will do.
Depressive type
It is obvious from the name that it refers to people who are usually in a depressed state of stress. The right hemisphere of the brain is responsible for their actions. This refers to dreamy people who are suggestible. Usually these are creative people who are very easy to hurt. How to manipulate them? Almost always they suffer - they need pity and sympathy. This is a method of manipulation. People of the depressed type are insecure - they can be manipulated with praise and compliments. They need it, they are drawn to it.
Boolean type
The type in which the left hemisphere is dominant. They are usually reserved, well-mannered, and often based on logic. They give the impression of sensible people who love clarity, clear facts and specifics. Men of this type are susceptible to many manipulations. They want to look “correct”, noble, and they can play on this. Pressure is placed on the sense of duty, justice, morality, dignity, and conscience.
Primitive type
It is unlikely that you will want to influence this type, but it is not excluded. We are usually talking about rather undemanding, primitive men. These could be people from dysfunctional families or simply about people with a minimum of interests. Their needs are simple: sleep, food, sexual intercourse, simple pleasures. This is what you can manipulate: providing these basic needs.
What are the benefits and harms of manipulation?
The word “manipulation” itself usually implies a negative connotation. Many identify it with deception, cunning, and self-interest. The issue requires more careful consideration. Manipulation can have a positive or negative effect on people’s relationships - this is determined by its primary goals. So, which manipulation is called useful and which is harmful?
Useful manipulations
They can also be called inspiration. Manipulations that help elevate a man in your eyes, earn more, be more successful in reality and in the eyes of others. What's wrong if manipulation helps to fairly divide household chores? Is this wrong? Useful manipulations are those that help improve your standard of living, mood, and protect you from real problems.
Harmful manipulations
There are a lot of them. If manipulation humiliates a man physically or mentally, then it is negative. An attempt to influence for the sake of the well-being of another man is negative manipulation. This also includes actions that worsen a man’s life, make him poorer, and destroy relationships.
When is it justified to manipulate a man?
To answer this question, a definition must be given. Manipulation is a psychological technique that forces another person to obey your desires, even if they do not correspond to his needs and interests. Manipulation “forces” a person to want something he didn’t want.
Manipulation often arises not because of selfish motives, but because of the fear of asking directly. Not every woman considers this acceptable: admitting a need, showing that she needs help. The possibility of refusal, the need to somehow “pay” for your request are also frightening. It is the reluctance to voice a direct request that forces a person to use manipulation - innocent and rather arrogant.
It is common to use manipulation in cases where a simple request does not evoke the proper response from a man. This leads to "workarounds" - the woman begins to look for a softer workaround.
From a psychological point of view, manipulation does not carry anything negative for mental health if it is innocent and in one way or another benefits the man who is subjected to it. A simple example: you ask your idle husband to help you cook dinner. Result: the two of you get a delicious dish, have a good evening, and the mood in the family is positive. Another positive manipulation: your husband is invited to a bar by a dysfunctional friend who does not know limits when it comes to alcohol and prefers dangerous entertainment. You invite your husband to spend the evening in a cafe with other friends. Undoubtedly, this manipulation is for the benefit of the man.
How to manipulate a man with words
Women who know how to manipulate a man know that words have a special influence. How to use it?
During live communication
Live communication, unlike correspondence, allows you to influence a man using intonation. The first thing you need to do is practice by making a voice recorder. “Play” with your intonations, try to find the softest, calmest and most convincing timbre. Your voice should sound clear and pleasant.
What to pay additional attention to
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- Make sure that the tempo of your speech does not diverge from the tempo of the interlocutor’s speech.
- Lowering the timbre of the voice indicates significant interest in the interlocutor. Do you want to convince him of your words? Lower your voice and speak softly and slowly.
- To manipulate a man, you need to be able to demonstrate weakness using questioning intonations. If weakness looks natural, it will force the chosen one to act.
- Forget about raised voices and shrill intonations. This causes internal panic in a man. A high-pitched voice usually causes irritation and discomfort in the interlocutor - in this case, it is not easy to manipulate a man.
During correspondence
So, what words will help you manipulate a man when texting? Find common interests - if they exist, you will subconsciously achieve more trust on his part.
If possible, it is better to prepare for the conversation, taking into account the interests of the man. By talking with him on a topic that interests him, you will probably be able to win his favor.
Topics about childhood and school can be called a good way of manipulation. Immersed in such conversations, the interlocutor becomes relaxed and susceptible to influence.
Any topic that evokes warm emotions in a man is suitable for correspondence. Subsequently, this feeling of warmth will be associated with you, and it will be easier for you to use the manipulation.
