Doctor Antichaos: how to bring order to your life, computer, apartment, finances and everything else

• October 13, 2018
• Psychology of Personality
• Raisa Bogacheva

Before making changes to your life, take stock. Are you living right? What kind of life would you like? Are you happy? How to achieve the goal of living differently? Read on to learn how to put things in order in your life and where to start.

Where to begin?

Those who do not know how to put things in order in life and affairs should use further advice. Take a notepad and write down all the things you want to do this week. Schedule everything one day at a time so that it takes turns. Indicate both important and not so important things:

1. If you want to study at a university, write down the subjects you would like to study, the region and city you plan to go to, and the university.
2. If you are not satisfied with the job or earnings, look in your free time for a more suitable or promising job that would be to your liking and financially suitable.
3. Stop smoking and alcohol, because before you can blink your eye, you will be addicted. And thoughts will turn into an amorphous mass.
4. If you have any problems, don’t be shy and don’t be afraid to ask for help from your loved ones, because they will always support you in difficult times and help you make the right decision.
5. Do not hide your love for your parents and friends: they will be happy to hear and feel it.
6. Change the situation, solve a significant problem. If a quarrel arose with a person whom you did not want to offend, then you need to apologize to him.
7. Find a use for your ideas.
8. Direct all your energy into something that will be useful and enjoyable.

Post this plan in a visible place and stick to it. Cross off completed tasks. The same list can be made at work at the beginning of the work week or day. Also, the plan will be a good assistant when making purchases, so as not to forget anything.

How to bring order to your life and thoughts?

All the problems that we have to endure are problems from the head, that is, from internal attitudes. And you need to remember one simple rule - if there is no order in your head, then there will be no order in your affairs. A disorganized person never has enough time for anything, so plan your day so that you can do what you have in mind and what you want to do.

Throw away the excess

First of all, to bring order to your life and home, you need to get rid of everything unnecessary. You need to throw away things that are not needed, do not bring any benefit or pleasure, and will not bring you in the future. You also need to do an audit in every room, closet, bedside table, shelf. If it’s a pity to throw something away, then you need to think about whether this thing will be needed later, in a new, established life. Every old thing is a past that does not need to be remembered, because you only need to move forward, these are dreams that never came true. Therefore, you need to get rid of old unnecessary items in order to free up space for something new, better.

And you shouldn’t delay this process. Do a general cleaning of the house - this will be the first step towards order. Don't regret anything: neither about thrown things away, nor about deleted files. Be the master in your head and in your life. Forget about the past, because it is left behind. It’s good if you remember the bright moments from your previous life, and not the bad ones that come to your head more and more often. Let go and forget past failures, because if you return to them, you may lose today's happy moments and emotions. Clear your head of unnecessary, unpleasant memories, and better preserve in your memory those moments that brought happiness and joy. You need to clean your head regularly, because bad thoughts absorb good ones, dominating them. Breathe deeper and calmer. Better yet, breathe with your stomach.

How to sort mail

Recently, while consulting with a successful executive, I encountered another tricky, albeit rare, version of the “busy trap.” You might be familiar with this syndrome: “By doing just one thing, but with full dedication, I don’t worry about all the other things I probably should be doing.”

This manager still had at least a dozen messages left in his inbox, although he had already processed several hundred letters the night before. In addition, he created a category for “messages requiring action” (which required more than two minutes to respond to) and kept such messages separately. I insisted that he stop using his inbox to store mail so that he could feel what it was like to see it completely empty. I managed to convince him to move the last messages to where he kept all the others. You should have seen how he lit up when he saw the result: “Wow! Now everything I need to do is right in front of my eyes! Now I can do my emails at the beginning of the day and it will be easy. And new messages can be immediately assessed in the context of everything else. They will stop getting lost, work on them will take its course. I couldn’t get out of this before, but now I’ve found such a great solution.”

Typically, we access information stored in our heads based on the criteria of “freshness” (latest in time) and “loudness” (most emotional), and this is not the most effective classification of files. And if your system of reminders about actions is chaotic (stickers on the monitor, notes on the table, pieces of paper on the chair), the impulse of work energy will lead you towards the easiest task of those that the environment reminds you of. The annoying proximity of a reminder is not the best criterion for selecting what you really need to do. There is an added benefit to clearing our mental “memory map”, being able to see all the work we do in one place, and choosing what to do next: if you can choose your work, it is much easier not to work at all!

Find time

Everyone knows that if there is order in your head and everything is laid out on the shelves, then everything in life is as it should be. People often say that there is not enough time to do what they would like to do. But first of all, you need to think (when, for example, you come home from work) what you are doing, what you are spending your precious time on. After all, it can be used profitably and with pleasure.

About David Allen

David Allen is a well-known specialist in personal productivity and effectiveness, the author of the GTD method, and the head of a consulting company working with The World Bank, New York Life, Ford Foundation and others.
David Allen conducts author trainings in many countries around the world, and his articles are published in such publications as the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Los Angeles Times, etc. You might be interested to know that Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity has been translated into fifteen languages ​​and was named Time Magazine's Best Business Book. The author, using his methodology, has helped millions of people cope with a huge flow of all kinds of cases.

Stabilizing relations

It is also necessary to restore order in relationships. Many people complain that they are not satisfied with something in their existence, but they themselves do nothing to change. And many of them start a new life on Monday. But then Monday came, and the man did nothing, did not change anything. We must always think about what can be changed today, what can be achieved, because, as we remember, thoughts materialize. The power of positive thinking is that it gives a person hope.

It is thanks to thoughts that a person moves forward and does not stand still. When a person does not believe in anything, he has no way to reach his goal or achieve his dreams. Don't be lazy. Take actions that will change your life. Don't be afraid of life changes. If fear takes over your will, then you will remain afraid and continue the life that you are so tired of. So you can doubt until the end of your days, but this will not lead to anything good. Don't put off certain tasks. If you don’t do it today or tomorrow, you will never do it again.

This may sound strange, but relationships, like closets, need to be reviewed. You need to think and carefully consider the people who surround you. After all, the main thing is not the number of friends, but their quality, their attitude towards friendship. Look around and pay attention to your surroundings: maybe some people are wasting space in your life?

How to make a to-do list

I once had another Blinding Flash of Obvious Realization: Many people have become allergic to “organization” because they constantly fail when trying to use to-do lists. These lists are ineffective because they are an attempt to compress very different discrete actions into a single event. And when you simplify something too much, everything starts to seem even more complex. Yes, none of us like the feeling of being overwhelmed by all the problems of the world, and therefore we, of course, feel a certain relief by making a to-do list. But such fire measures do not work as a long-term strategy.

Typically, when trying to create a to-do list, people mix up all five phases that define the concept of “work flows”: collecting, processing, organizing, revising and executing. They simultaneously try to extract data from their heads, realize their meaning, arrange it in a certain logical or other reasonable order, immediately compare, evaluate and compare with each other, and then select the “most important” for execution. By doing so, people are usually rewarded with a short-term sense of false relief, but remain vulnerable to what is unnoticed, unprocessed, unexplored, and undervalued. Over many years of research, I came to the conclusion that it is better to deal with each stage of work flow management separately.

Take five minutes, take a pen or pencil and throw out everything that comes into your head onto paper. Don't analyze or structure anything. Later you will understand what each item means, if it means anything at all. For now, just “upload data.” Allow yourself to gain some freedom and stop doing several things at once. Get creative, dream, but most importantly, write everything down without feeling obligated to actually complete it! And when you are ready to move on to implementing your plans, return to the items on the list, determine their significance and decide what you can do about each of them.

You need to get all the garbage out of your head

The inability to plan time, the turmoil of thoughts and chaos in the head prevent you from filling your life with flows of energy.

The first rule is to be able to forgive. When you forgive yourself and other people, you get rid of misunderstandings and resentments.

The second requirement is that you need to rid yourself of the fear that lives in your head and thoughts. After all, fear is an obstacle on the path to a better life, because of it you feel unnecessary to society, it will confuse you and interfere with achieving your goal. Postponing such a fight for later is wrong: you need to do it here and now, no matter what.

It is necessary to clearly imagine the action plan and the final result, this is how luck and success are attracted. You cannot regret anything, because the past cannot be returned. Positive and joyful events will help you move forward, while bad moments and memories will keep you in uncertainty and negativity. You need to live in the present time, because only it is real now.

How to make life better

There is a simple way to become invincible: strive to do everything you do to the best of your ability - and start now. To achieve the invulnerability that I speak of, you must go through the gate of absolute vulnerability, because by making such a demand of yourself, you are exposed to a certain risk. You don’t need to “be the best,” but “do the best.” Trying to be the best means immediately creating baggage in the form of struggle, selfishness and self-flagellation, leading to a life of win/lose. But the desire to do the best in the best way is a dynamic, everything-changing experience, available to each of us at any time. This is active involvement in your life and work, this is flexible behavior and a positive attitude. Guided by these principles, you will win. Definitely!

How to identify and choose the best thing you can do right now? You can ask yourself this question no matter what action and at what level you are performing. “Best” does not mean “ideal”—it is simply the best that can be done at the time, given the information and resources available. Make the best spaghetti sauce with the ingredients you have on hand, using all your skills, right now. Conduct the best meeting possible under the circumstances and in the moment. Whether you're talking to your friend, your spouse, your mom, or your son, make sure your communication with them is the best it can be.

The book is provided by the publishing house "Mann, Ivanov and Ferber"

But is it that easy?

Working on eliminating clutter is not easy, but every person needs it to get rid of the negativity in life. The most difficult method is to get rid of the burden of the past years and look at events from the other side. Psychologists recommend looking inside yourself, remembering some bright moments from childhood, remembering what the reaction was at these moments, whether they brought joy. Write your experiences on paper to make it easier to analyze them. Summarize the past month or year. Consider what you did or didn’t do or didn’t have time to do. What mistakes were made.

Plan for the day

It is very important to put things in order in your daily routine, to eliminate unnecessary items that only take up time. Delete unimportant messages on social networks and email, clean out folders on your computer. Learn to control your thoughts.

The main thing in this process is not to sit still, but to do everything to realize your dream. Appreciate every day and every moment lived now. Get rid of negative thoughts that lower self-esteem. Get rid of the thoughts “I can’t”, “I can’t”, “I can’t” from my head.

It is necessary to try to form a positive outlook on life. Gradually catch thoughts and listen to them, analyze whether this is your opinion or a stereotype that society has imposed. By following this advice, you will gradually learn to control your thoughts and emotions. You should not pay attention to the opinions of other people: it is impossible to please everyone, to be good to everyone, because the majority will still be dissatisfied with you. You only need to look at yourself and build behavior based on your life principles and priorities. Stop looking at other people, at their actions and behavior, live your life and appreciate it, because we only live once.

Develop and improve

First you need to figure out your dream and turn it into a goal. Next - act and move towards the goal. After all, if you do nothing, then nothing will happen.

It is advisable to give up alcohol and bad habits. Start going to the pool, allocate time in your daily routine for a walk in the fresh air. This will help normalize your health and, accordingly, your thoughts. Strive to become better than you are now, change yourself and change your life and habits.

The key to a good mood for the whole day is to wake up in the morning, force yourself to think about something good, listen to pleasant music and eat something healthy and tasty for breakfast. So it’s better to clear the refrigerator of junk food and unnecessary medications, because to some extent, cleanliness in the refrigerator and in the house means cleanliness in your head.

Start engaging in mental exercises that will develop your worldview. Crosswords, chess and Sudoku will help keep your brain in order, and, accordingly, your life. Also start reading books. Write a list of works you would like to read.

Work on past mistakes. Learning from mistakes is also experience. Look into your soul and try to understand yourself, to understand whether you are living correctly, what you are doing wrong. You need to appreciate and correctly assess your capabilities. By opening them, you can find something to do in your life that will help you change it.

Build your system

Incorporate healthy habits into your routine

Habits determine our actions. We carry out these actions out of inertia, even if they do not bring benefits. Think about what you are used to doing.

Analyze which of these actions are beneficial, which ones are better to give up, and which habits to create to move towards your goals. To strengthen a new habit, clearly define why you need it. This will make it easier to stick to it.

Then create a daily routine based on them. For example, do exercises in the morning to stay in good shape. A couple of hours before bedtime, do not look at your phone to sleep more peacefully. On weekends, be sure to find time to communicate with loved ones or hobbies to recharge with positive emotions. It all depends on your needs. The main thing is that with such a schedule it is easier to overcome lack of motivation, laziness and unnecessary distractions.

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