Why don’t the guys who like me like me - you ask yourself. It seems to you that the attention of the stronger half of humanity is attracted only by beauties, and they are stuck in dreams of a first date.
But appearance is not everything, even with some specific appearance, you are charming in your own way. There are many characteristics that you need to consider if you want to please an attractive guy.
In this article:
Reasons for the lack of mutual sympathy How to change the situation and please men
How to Tell If Guys Really Don't Like You
Before you start working on yourself, you need to figure out what the problem is and whether it exists at all. It happens that a girl expects sympathy from a particular guy, does not wait for it and experiences a collapse of self-esteem. The opinion of this young man turns out to be extremely significant for her and overshadows all other assessments. This happens very often with non-reciprocal love.
In this case, you need to “unstick” your self-esteem from the guy, start communicating with other men and notice their signs of attention in your direction. Take a look at the article How to stop loving someone, it will help you.
You can talk about a problem if you have not received any signs of attention from men for at least six months and you have no positive relationship experience. They communicate with you as with a friend, but do not take any steps towards a romantic plane.
In this case, there is no need to panic or sound the alarm, but it is worth thinking seriously about. If action is not taken, the situation can only get worse. The first step is to stop being offended by an unfair world and realize that the problem lies with you. The second is to prepare to change.
How to change the situation and please men
Changing your thinking equals changing your life. The way you think reflects how you allow yourself to act. If you are insecure and feel unworthy, then you project this position into the world. Look carefully in the mirror. Consider a strong, capable, beautiful woman who knows her worth.
Stop creating false impressions about guys. No one is perfect, everyone has flaws. Accept people as they are. Relationships are based on recognition of strengths and weaknesses, respect for a person’s individuality.
Be yourself. Remember: all other roles are already filled. Don't think that someone is better than you just because they look different (more beautiful) in your eyes. Your worth does not depend on how well you pretend to be who others want you to be.
It is important to be real, authentic, original in a world full of imitators. By not obeying stereotyped norms, you will stand out from the crowd and attract the attention of the man you like.
What guys don't like about girls
Below you will find a detailed list of women's shortcomings. Honestly reflect whether you have them, and start working on yourself.
Appearance
The first thing men pay attention to is a woman’s appearance - this is a fact that we have to put up with. Therefore, I recommend starting your own leveling with image. This is an area where improvements can be made quickly.
So, what turns guys off about girls' looks?
- Ungroomed. Dirty, unkempt hair, bitten nails, stains on clothes and other similar nuances can ruin your impression of a girl from the very first minutes of meeting you. And it will be almost impossible to rehabilitate yourself in the guy’s eyes. Therefore, do not make such annoying mistakes - watch yourself constantly.
- Freakiness. If you're looking for a guy with a half-face tattoo and nipple piercings, then no complaints. Your blue lipstick and potato sack dress won't scare him away. But the average guy won’t appreciate such creativity.
- Vulgarity. You shouldn’t show with all your appearance that you are actively searching. Of course, you will get the attention of men, but you are unlikely to like it. If you want to demonstrate your feminine assets, then choose one thing: either your neckline, your legs, or your stomach. This principle also applies to makeup: emphasize either lips or eyes.
- Chasing fashion. Fashion trends in recent years have moved far away from traditional ideas of femininity. Most men find them bewildering. Clothes should highlight the beauty of a girl, and not disfigure her - no matter how fashionable she may be.
- Artificiality. Plastic nails, glued eyelashes, painted eyebrows - all this surroundings sometimes looks scary. Naturalness is the main decoration of a girl.
- Displeased look. Some girls try to show with all their appearance that they didn’t find themselves in the trash heap. They make a dissatisfied and contemptuous expression on their faces, looking at men as if they were gnomes. From the outside it looks comical and pathetic.
- Slouching and downcast gaze. Looking at the hunched girl, one gets the impression that life is a heavy burden for her. Problems, complexes and failures seem to pull her to the ground and do not allow her to straighten her shoulders. Naturally, there is little attractive in this.
Communication
Think about the question: is it pleasant to communicate with you? After all, a person reveals himself precisely in interaction with other people. Don't make the following mistakes when talking to guys.
- Arrogance. Many girls behave arrogantly when communicating with guys: they pull back, lecture, and humiliate by chance. Combined with the disgruntled look we talked about above, this behavior makes them disgusting. Be simpler, take off your imaginary crown, moderate your emotional state - and the attention of men will flow to you.
- Talkativeness. Listening to an endless stream of words is a very tiring task. Especially if it is meaningless and uninteresting. When communicating with a person, follow the “50/50” principle – half the time you talk, half the time they talk.
- Silence. It’s also not worth rushing to the other extreme. If a girl cannot carry on a conversation and say something interesting, sooner or later the guys will get bored with her.
- Coarseness. Swear words, jokes below the belt, indecent gestures - all this deprives a girl of attractiveness. Guys willingly make friends with such people, but they don’t consider them as a soul mate.
- Stickiness. Girls who are too intrusive and clingy make guys annoyed. After all, men are conquerors by nature. When the prey itself asks to “eat” it, the thought creeps in that something is wrong with it.
- Whining and complaining. If you try to burden guys with your problems from the very beginning, it is not surprising that they quickly run away. Everyone enjoys communicating with positive and easy-going people, rather than delving into other people’s negativity. Therefore, urgently get rid of the habit of whining for any reason.
- Intrigue and manipulation. Guys love directness and certainty. If they notice that a girl is being dark, weaving intrigues, or behaving insincerely, then they quickly lose interest in her.
- Gossip. The habit of washing the bones of your friends has a negative impact on the overall impression of the girl. The interlocutor understands that he himself may one day find himself in the place of his acquaintances, and such a prospect is unlikely to please anyone.
- Boasting. You shouldn’t tell us what cool cars your relatives drive, how much your vacation in the Maldives cost you, or who from the world of the rich and famous you are on friendly terms with. Modesty adorns any person, and especially a girl.
- Notations and teachings. Don't give advice to those who don't ask for it. Don’t pretend to be a wise connoisseur of life who has seen everything along the way. Guys can't stand it. Communicate with them as equals, and do not try to stand on top at every opportunity.
Behavior
Pay attention to how you behave in society. If the following manifestations are present in your behavior, get rid of them.
- Lack of culture. Girls swearing, throwing garbage past the trash can, laughing loudly, make a depressing impression. Mind your manners.
- Promiscuity. Sexually aggressive girls scare away men. Therefore, you should not demonstrate your promiscuity and hunger for love.
Psychological qualities
We have come to perhaps the most important point on our list. Psychological qualities are much more difficult to change than behavior and manner of dressing. You'll have to work hard to get even a little closer to the ideal.
But without this, all other work is meaningless. When you get to know each other closely, men will be disappointed in you, even if you manage to win their sympathy at first. Therefore, start working on yourself now.
- Lack of interests. Girls who are not interested in anything other than cosmetics and TV series are called dummies. After just half an hour of communicating with them, the guys become bored.
- Diffidence. Complex young ladies are completely devoid of spontaneity and sexuality. Even if they are attractive in appearance, men avoid them.
- Stupidity. The fact that men love fools is a myth that fools invented. Everyone tries to choose a partner who is close in intellectual development.
- Selfishness. In addition to your “I,” there is also the “I” of other people that needs to be taken into account. Trying to push your interests everywhere is annoying.
- Moodiness. Princesses and the Pea, for whom everything is always wrong, do not attract sympathy from men. They prefer to avoid them. Few people would like to constantly circle around a girl and satisfy all her whims.
- Infantility. For some reason, girls believe that men are touched by their helplessness and naivety. In fact, no one likes to babysit an over-aged child. Strive for independence and autonomy - these qualities have been and will be valued at all times.
- Laziness. Every man wants to see an active and hardworking girl next to him, and not an amorphous creature lying all over on the sofa. Therefore, direct all your efforts to fight laziness.
What to do
There is only one way out of this situation; you need to increase your own self-esteem. Learn to love and accept yourself. It is necessary to receive the love that you lacked in childhood. You don't have to try your best to fix yourself. Be more attentive to your spiritual needs, value and love yourself. You must always remember that each person is individual, so you don’t even need to try to fix something in yourself in order to be like someone else. Every person is worthy of self-love and respect.
What kind of girls do guys like?
Let's sum it up and draw an average portrait of the ideal girl according to the majority of guys. Preferences can vary widely, but there are basic qualities that attract almost everyone.
First of all, it is femininity. This does not mean a love of floral dresses and bright jewelry. Femininity is a combination of spiritual qualities traditionally considered feminine. Gentleness, kindness, mercy, diplomacy, altruism, devotion. In the cruel male world, there is often no place for them, so the guy instinctively looks for them in the girl.
Next to him, he wants to see a girl who will respect and appreciate him, who will not put up with his brain, weave intrigues and try to manipulate. And, of course, he must be confident in her fidelity and devotion - this is one of the main conditions. Therefore, girls who demonstrate their promiscuity and frivolity immediately cause rejection.
Everyone, without exception - both men and women - is attracted to people's self-reliance, independence and strength of character. A person who is able to satisfy his own needs and even help others do the same has strong magnetism. Those around him are drawn to him as a source of vitality.
Unfortunately, not all girls understand this. The myth that men love weak, dependent and weak-willed women who are unable to take care of themselves on their own is firmly entrenched in women’s heads.
Every man wants to see next to him not just a beautiful female body, but also an interesting personality. A girl should have her own hobbies, goals, principles and outlook on life. She should be able to carry on a conversation, express her point of view, and constantly stir up her man’s interest. This is impossible without self-confidence.
As for appearance, the preferences of men are very individual. They agree on one thing: a girl should be well-groomed. Nobody likes slobs and dirty people.
Causes of the problem of unattractiveness
It happens that a woman does not notice the attention of men, so she thinks that they do not like her. You need to work with the perception and interpretation of men’s attitude towards you. Be attentive and open, notice and celebrate manifestations on the part of the stronger half of humanity.
If a woman wants the attention of a specific type of man or man, the problem lies in the area of interpersonal relationships. You can understand how to attract a man’s attention by learning his needs, tastes and interests.
If a woman is deprived of male attention, she needs to work on herself, get rid of complexes, increase self-esteem, work on femininity or solve another internal problem.
Possible reasons for inattention on the part of men:
Lack of self-confidence, complexes, low self-esteem. Excessive modesty, shyness, lack of initiative. Inability to communicate and have a conversation. Lack of culture, bad manners, rudeness, arrogance, ignorance. Frivolity, unpunctuality, irresponsibility. Real or apparent ease of accessibility. Difficulty of access, inaccessibility (too smart, beautiful, and so on). Commercialism, focus on receiving gifts and money from a man. Selfishness, excessive pride and narcissism. Age. Young girls, girls dream of love and romance. But male attention presupposes sexual interest. A prudent man will not have a relationship with an underage girl.
To notice and receive male attention, a girl must be mature, smart, and experienced enough. A girl may think that guys don’t like her because she doesn’t know how and in what way their interest is manifested.
Basic mistakes
Many girls, realizing that the guys they like do not pay any attention to them, begin to look for all sorts of shortcomings in themselves. First of all, they focus on their appearance, thinking that it's all about their appearance. They begin to look for shortcomings in themselves, and whoever looks for them is sure to find them. This could be excess weight, protruding ears, an ugly figure, a large nose, and so on.
Don't get hung up on imaginary shortcomings. Many guys won't even notice them. If your relationship does not work out, you need to think, is this the right person for you? By looking for flaws in yourself, you will only completely lose self-love, and your self-esteem will suffer greatly. The thing to remember is that you cannot build a healthy relationship unless you learn to love and respect yourself.
He doesn't like you that much if he doesn't ask you out.
Excuse option: Maybe he doesn't want to ruin our friendship
I hate to tell you this, but this excuse doesn't hold water. Unfortunately, throughout human history, this excuse has never been used by those who really meant it. If we really care about a woman, we can't bring ourselves to stop - we want more. And please don't tell me he's just "scared." The only thing he is afraid of, and I say this with sincere sympathy for you, is admitting that he is not attracted to you at all.
Excuse option: He probably doesn't dare take the first step
You can hint to a man that you like him, but you shouldn't help him ask you out. I repeat again, dear ladies: the fact that you smile and playfully wink at him will be quite enough.
Excuse: Maybe he doesn't want to rush things
If a man really likes you, but there are deeply personal reasons why he doesn't want to rush things, he'll tell you immediately. He will not leave you in the dark because he needs confidence that you will not be disappointed and disappear from his life.
The “But he gave me his phone number” excuse
Don't let him use cheap tricks to get you to ask him out on a date. If a man is interested in you, he will take all the troubles upon himself. It sounds a little old-fashioned, but when a man likes a woman, he asks her out.
The “Perhaps he forgot about me” excuse
Rest assured, you've made an impression on him. Now leave everything as it is. If he likes you, he will remember you even after a tsunami, flood or defeat of the Russian national team in the next match. If he has forgotten about you, you should not waste time on him. Do you know why? Because you are great.
Remember:
- Any excuse essentially means that you are of little interest to him. Men are not afraid to “ruin friendships.”
- Don't fall for his tricks and don't ask him out. If he likes you, he will invite you himself.
- If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will do it.
- “Hey, let's meet at such and such a party/at some bar/at a friend's house” does not qualify as a date invitation. Even if you live in New York.
- The man remembers well whether he liked you when he met, so hang up.
- You are good enough to be asked out.
“And someone doesn’t want to live after this”
“It’s different for everyone, some people don’t even want to live,” a subscriber noted. If suicidal thoughts arise as a result of rejection, you should consult a psychiatrist. This is a serious problem! When a client comes to a psychotherapist who does not want to live after a breakup and is ready to commit suicide, the psychotherapist is obliged to call an ambulance for psychiatric help. Such an acute reaction no longer speaks of psycho-emotional problems, but of possible personality disorders, that is, psychiatric problems.
But, again, ensuring health and safety is a person's responsibility. The need to save others from something that others may not even plan to do is a manifestation of codependent rescuer syndrome. If the man whom you refused intends to commit suicide in front of your eyes, in this case you must call an ambulance for psychiatric help so as not to fall under the article of leaving in danger. But such horrors happen extremely rarely.
