Conflictology: Lecture notes - Atoyan A.D. — Question 19. Styles of conflict behavior

In real life, sometimes it is not so easy to establish the true cause of a conflict. And without this, it is impossible to find the optimal solution to pay it off. It is for such difficult cases that it is useful to know the styles of behavior in conflict that interlocutors can use. Depending on the circumstances, it is necessary to choose a certain strategy of action. You will learn what to do in this or that situation in the article.

Basic behavior patterns in conflict

The predictive style is characterized by the avoidance of unwanted conflicts. A person with such a model of behavior tries not to succumb to provocations. He will first analyze the dangerous areas and weigh the pros and cons. If conflict is the only way out of the situation, he will decide to start a dispute. With a predictive model, you think through all the options for your actions and calculate the possible actions of your interlocutor. This style of behavior in conflict is characterized by the absence of emotional reactions or their weak expression. The most preferable outcome is a compromise.

The corrective style can be characterized by a lag in assessing the situation. That is why reactions to disagreements arise immediately - immediately after the conflict begins. At the same time, a person with such a model of behavior does not believe that there is a problem, but behaves very emotionally and unrestrainedly. Actions are characterized by fussiness, especially at the beginning of the conflict.

The destructive style is characterized by the denial of the possibility of mutual concessions. Compromise is seen only as a sign of weakness. Therefore, such a way out of the situation is considered unacceptable. A person with such a model of behavior constantly emphasizes the fallacy of his opponent’s positions and his own rightness. In this case, the interlocutor is accused of malicious intent, selfish motives and personal interest. A controversial situation with this method of behavior will be perceived extremely emotionally by both parties.

These were the main styles of behavior in conflict. Within them, strategies can be distinguished.

Your psychologist. The work of a psychologist at school.

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Conflict and non-conflict behavior

Being people with different needs, tastes and values, we, unfortunately, cannot avoid conflicts. But do they necessarily have to lead to a quarrel and, even more so, to a scandal? The English poet G. Taylor wrote: “Nothing shows superiority of character more than good behavior in a quarrel that cannot be avoided.” Conflict can be positive or negative depending on how we resolve it. Conflict can serve as a stimulus for change and an impetus for progress.

Types of interpersonal conflicts . Conflict is the interaction of two or more people who have mutually exclusive goals (at least perceived by them as such) and realize them one to the detriment of the other. At the heart of any conflict is a conflict situation. In turn, in the structure of a conflict situation, one can distinguish the participants in the conflict and its object - what caused the conflict, what each of its participants claims. The object of the conflict can be either material (for example, some prestigious thing) or ideal (rules of behavior, status in a group, etc.). A conflict situation can exist long before the conflict arises, without manifesting itself in any way. For example, in the room where a poet, a musician and a football player live, there is one TV. A conflict can arise only when they simultaneously express a desire to watch their favorite programs: one - an evening of poetry, another - a concert, the third - football - and try to take possession of the control panel. Such actions of the conditional inhabitants of the room are called incidents.

Depending on whether the conflict situation was generated by objective circumstances or created intentionally, whether the incident arose accidentally or proactively, we can talk about different types of conflicts. Conflicts that occur over specific objects are called business conflicts by some researchers. A protracted business conflict can turn into an emotional one, i.e. based solely on feelings of antipathy and hostility of the conflict participants towards each other. Based on the number of persons participating in the conflict, we can distinguish dyadic, local (some part of the group is involved), general (all interacting people are involved) and intergroup conflicts. Conflicts can be vertical (between a leader and subordinates in a particular group) and horizontal (between equal members of the team). From the point of view of the participants’ awareness of the conflict situation, the conflict is characterized as adequately or inadequately understood, as well as false (there is no objective conflict situation and the relationship is mistakenly perceived by people as conflicting). Depending on the cause of the conflict situation, a distinction is made between production and organizational (due to problems in organizing joint activities), interpersonal (determined by the characteristics of relationships: lack of mutual understanding, psychological incompatibility, etc.) and personal (based on personality characteristics, their internal experiences, grievances or disappointments) conflicts. According to the criterion “expediency - inexpediency of conflict occurrence”, inevitable, necessary, forced and functionally unjustified conflicts are determined.

When resolving a conflict, it is very important to take into account which stage of development the conflict is currently at. The first stage is tension and discomfort in relationships between people, the second is an incident, the actualization of a conflict situation, the third is people’s awareness of the conflict’s relationship, the fourth is the development of conflict relationships and actions, the fifth is the end of the conflict, the establishment of new relationships between those involved in the conflict (including possible their complete rupture). From these positions, the conflict can be characterized as short-term, long-term or protracted (deadlock); and also - as controlled or uncontrollable. Based on the results, experts distinguish between mobilizing and disorganizing, as well as stabilizing (aimed at eliminating behavior that deviates from the norms accepted in the group), constructive (contributing to the development of the group) and destructive (leading to a deepening of the problem) conflicts.

Conflicts can also be classified on other grounds. A correct understanding of the conflict is a prerequisite for its effective resolution, both directly by the participants in the conflict and by mediators (friends, managers, conflict specialists, etc.).

Lines of behavior in conflict situations. As noted, a conflict situation does not always turn into a conflict. ...

There are several basic styles of behavior of people in conflict situations. Evasion (withdrawal, avoidance): actions are aimed at getting out of the situation without giving in, but also without insisting on one’s own, refraining from entering into disputes and discussions; in response to accusations, an attempt is made to shift the conversation to another topic. For a person using this style of behavior, it is first of all important to maintain relationships, which is advisable in a number of life situations. At the same time, the conflict is not resolved and, if there is an objective conflict situation, it may arise again. Adaptation (concession): also expressed in the desire to avoid conflict, but at the same time a person is ready to neglect his own interests in favor of another. This style of behavior can be characteristic of a person due to his individual psychological characteristics, and also manifest itself in the relationship “subordinate - leader”. It is appropriate when the outcome of the case is not significant for a given person, but is very significant for another, and also at the stage of searching for ways to resolve another, more complex conflict situation. Competition (adversarial): a person’s actions are aimed at insisting on his own through open struggle for his interests (using coercion, psychological means of pressure). This style of behavior is appropriate in extreme situations. If used constantly, without taking into account the objective circumstances and interests of the group, it leads to disruption of relationships and the psychological climate in the group. Compromise : A person's actions are aimed at resolving disagreements by conceding something in exchange for concessions from the other party. An “average” solution is adopted, which basically suits all participants, despite the remaining “zone of mutual disagreement.” The advantages of this style are the quick resolution of conflict. However, this decision is not always fair, and therefore, although not as pronounced as in other situations, emotional dissatisfaction remains among the parties to the conflict. Cooperation: involves finding a solution that fully satisfies the interests of all parties to the conflict through an open exchange of views. This method is the most labor-intensive, requiring time and attention to your partner. At the same time, this is the only way that can lead to a fair and final resolution of the conflict.

Ways to resolve conflicts. Participants in the conflict can either independently take appropriate actions to resolve the conflict or seek help from an “outsider” person - a mediator who will help organize a dialogue between them. In any case, conditions are important for a constructive resolution of the conflict : 1) adequacy of the perception of the conflict, 2) openness and effectiveness of communication between the conflicting parties, 3) creation of a climate of mutual trust and cooperation, 3) joint search for mutual interests, alternative ways out of the conflict and solutions conflict resolution.

Often in a situation of conflict, we incorrectly perceive the actions and intentions of both our own and the other person, our opponent. Typical distortions in the perception of conflict include: “the illusion of one’s own nobility” (it seems that truth and justice are completely on our side), “looking for the straw in the other’s eye” (we notice shortcomings primarily in our opponent, but not in ourselves), “double ethics “(we evaluate the same actions of ourselves and our opponent differently), “everything is clear” (excessive simplification of the conflict situation and an unambiguous assessment of the opponent’s intentions as hostile). There may be a so-called self-confirming assumption: by attributing hostile intentions to another, we unwittingly actually push him to such behavior through our behavior. The person who has come into conflict with us should be shown maximum friendliness and readiness to resolve common problems, without letting them take their course.

The more precise the definition of the main elements of conflict, the easier it is to find means for effective behavior. The sequence of joint actions aimed at overcoming the conflict involves several stages: 1) identifying the main problem, 2) identifying the secondary causes of the conflict, 3) searching for possible ways to resolve the conflict, 4) making a common decision to exit the conflict, 5) implementing the planned plan, 6) assessing the effectiveness of the efforts made. Most conflicts have multiple causes, and this fact makes mutually beneficial solutions possible. The key to obtaining a win-win solution to a problem is to satisfy a desire that is important to the person, and in return obtain concessions on other issues that are not very important to him.

Many conflicts between people are complicated by the presence of unexpressed thoughts and feelings. It is advisable to exchange such feelings, even negative ones, at the stage of studying the conflict. In this case, it is recommended to use the type of “I-statements”: “I was offended.” “I got angry”, etc. At the same time, “attack” the problem, not the person. This means, for example, that the statement “you deliberately play loud music to irritate me” should be rephrased something like: “When I hear loud music at your place, I find it difficult to concentrate because it irritates me.” It is also important to find out what the other person is thinking and feeling. Try to take the other person’s position and look at the situation “through their eyes.” When discussing a conflict, you should avoid threats, lies, and cold-blooded rebuke. Polish psychologist E. Melibruda o. At the same time, a prerequisite for conversation is the maximum possible calm tone of statements, accuracy and thoughtfulness of phrases.

Personality qualities important for conflict-free communication and constructive conflict resolution

1.Empathy.

2.Goodwill.

3. Authenticity (the ability to be natural in relationships, not hide behind masks and roles).

4. Specificity (refusal of ambiguous and vague remarks, general reasoning, willingness to answer questions unambiguously).

5. Initiative (the ability to establish contacts, the tendency to “go forward” in relationships with others, and not just react to their actions),

6. Spontaneity (the ability to speak and act directly, an honest demonstration of one’s attitude towards them).

7. Openness (willingness and ability to talk about your thoughts and feelings).

9. Acceptance of feelings (lack of fear in direct contact with your feelings or the feelings of other people, but at the same time no desire to impose your feelings on others).

10. Lack of fear of confrontation, if necessary in case of differences of opinion. But not with the goal of scaring, but with the hope of establishing sincere and honest relationships.

11. Willingness for self-knowledge, including using information about yourself from other people.

The mediator performs the most important functions of indirectly managing the course of the conflict. Mediation involves five main stages . The first is the organization of conflict mediation. Involves initiation and individual preparation (motivation, explanation of the basic conditions for effective conflict resolution, etc.) of conflict participants for the upcoming interaction, as well as searching for a convenient (preferably on neutral territory) place for their meeting. The second stage is the motivation and establishment of relationships between the participants in conflict resolution at the beginning of their meeting and the formulation of rules of conduct at all stages of joint work. The third stage is monological mediation of the conflict - in organizing the alternate expression by the participants in the conflict of their positions, views, feelings, relationships, assisting them in this with clarifying questions. Dialogue mediation of conflict is the fourth stage of mediation, the main task of which is to gradually transfer the communication of the conflict participants into direct, immediate dialogue and help with difficulties in this conversation. The final stage is summing up the conflict. It involves, jointly with the participants in the process, a brief overview of the conflict situation, a summary of the agreements reached and the formulation (even in writing) of a mutual agreement fixing the main results of resolving the conflict. The strategy for resolving conflict through mediation is based on effective communication techniques.

Conclusions: 1. Interpersonal conflicts can be characterized on different grounds. 2. A correct understanding of the conflict is important for choosing an adequate strategy and tactics of behavior in the conflict and its resolution. 3. Depending on whose interests and how the parties to the conflict defend, five typical styles of behavior are distinguished: evasion, adaptation, competition, compromise, cooperation. 4. The effectiveness of a particular style of behavior is determined by its compliance with the characteristics of the situation and the individual characteristics of the person. 5. The conflict goes through a number of stages in its development. 6. Constructive conflict resolution, directly by the parties to the conflict or with the help of a mediator, involves the use of effective communication techniques. 7. There are no universal and miraculous ways to resolve conflicts. The individual’s readiness to find effective ways to resolve the situation is very important.

1. What is conflict, what are its main structural components?

2. On what basis is it possible to classify interpersonal conflicts?

3. Remember any conflict in which you were involved and describe it.

4. Give a comparative description of such styles of behavior of people in a conflict situation as avoidance, adaptation, compromise.

5. Give a comparative description of such styles of behavior of people in a conflict situation as compromise, competition, cooperation.

6. Why is it advisable to use different styles of behavior in different situations, and not just one, seemingly proven over the years?

7. What are the main stages in the development of relationships during a conflict?

9. What hinders and what helps adequate perception of the conflict?

10. Reliance on what rules, the use of what techniques contribute to open and effective communication between participants in conflict resolution?

11. What are the main stages of joint actions by the parties to the conflict to resolve it?

12. When, in your opinion, is it advisable to resort to the help of a mediator to resolve a conflict?

13. Australian psychologists H. Cornelius and S. Dare defined conflict as an “undisclosed opportunity.” How do you understand this definition?

13. What personality traits contribute to conflict-free communication and constructive conflict resolution. Which of these qualities do you think are inherent to you?

14. What are the main requirements for the actions of mediators when resolving a conflict?

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Cooperation

This is the most difficult behavior model, but at the same time the most effective of all. Its point is to find a solution that would satisfy the interests and needs of all parties to the conflict. To do this, everyone’s opinion is taken into account and all proposed options are listened to. The discussion takes place calmly, without negative emotions. Conversation uses evidence, arguments, and persuasion to achieve results. This style of behavior in resolving conflict is based on mutual respect and therefore contributes to the maintenance of strong and long-lasting relationships.

However, you need to be able to restrain your emotions, clearly explain your interests and listen to the other side. The absence of at least one factor makes this behavior model ineffective. In what situations is this style most appropriate?

• When compromise is not suitable, but a common solution is needed.
• If the main goal is joint work experience.
• There is an interdependent and long-term relationship with the conflicting party.
• It is necessary to exchange points of view and strengthen the personal involvement of opponents in the activity.

Diagnostics

Anyone can adjust their communication style in the right direction in order to establish harmonious relationships in a family or team. The beginning of such work is psychological testing, which helps to establish the individual’s real attitude towards others, his innate abilities and inclinations. There are many tests to determine personal communication style.

The most popular of them are:

• Test of interpersonal relationships by American psychologist Timothy Leary, created in 1950, adapted for the Russian-speaking environment by Lyudmila Sobchik. The purpose of the test is to determine the personal image of oneself and the predominance of the type of communication. The test consists of 2 parts and contains 128 statements about a person’s character. How he sees himself ideally and in the present period. The test can be used for personal assessment and for assessing a person “from the outside.” It is also possible to determine the degree of objectivity of self-assessment.
• The Persistence-Acquiescence Test is one of a series of interpersonal tests created by Hans Eysenck and Glen Wilson. The 210 questions have "yes" and "no" answer options. Using the test, the basic characteristics of an individual’s communication are determined: aggressiveness or flexibility, the ability to manipulate, the desire for leadership or subordination.
• “Diagnostics of communicative aggression” is a technique developed by Russian psychologist Viktor Boyko. The test allows you to determine the degree of aggressiveness in a relationship and the ability to switch. The “Aggression Index” is based on 11 parameters.
• “Diagnostics of the type of communicative attitude” was created under the leadership of Viktor Boyko to determine the presence and magnitude of the manifestation of negative attitudes in communication. The test consists of 25 questions that have “yes” and “no” answer options.
• The Interpersonal Relations Questionnaire by the American psychologist William Schutz is designed to determine the communicative characteristics of a person.
• The SMIL test was developed according to the basic method of L. Sobchik creates a complete psychological portrait of a person, including his communication styles. To get complete information about yourself you need to spend time and answer 567 questions. But there is also a shortened version of 65 questions.

Nowadays, you can take many tests and get results within a few minutes on the Internet online for free. The disadvantage of such studies is that a person who is not a specialist in the field of psychology cannot always objectively evaluate the test results. For serious research, it is better to contact a professional consultation center.

Psychological centers often conduct diagnostics of styles and other components of communication in the business sphere. Such services can be ordered by companies to assess the level of employees, or by individuals. The cost of services depends on the choice of specialist and the range of studies. The approximate initial cost of one test with comments from a psychologist is about 1,500 rubles.

Compromise

This is a less constructive style of behavior in conflict. Compromise nevertheless occurs, especially when it is necessary to quickly relieve accumulated tension and resolve a dispute. The model resembles “collaboration”, but is carried out at a superficial level. Each side is inferior to the other in some way. Therefore, as a result of a compromise, the interests of opponents are partially satisfied. Reaching a common solution requires effective communication skills.

In what cases is compromise effective?

• When the interests of both parties cannot be fulfilled at the same time. For example, opponents are applying for one position.
• If it is more important to win something than to lose everything.
• The interlocutors have equal power and present equally convincing arguments. Then cooperation gives way to compromise.
• A temporary solution is needed because there is no time to find another one.

Definition

Communication style in psychology does not have a clear unambiguous definition. Representatives of various psychological schools interpret the concept in their own way.

So, the style of communication as interpreted by theorists is:

• A constant way of building relationships for a particular person in various areas, which is an individual trait (Levin).
• The form in which the exchange of acts of communication occurs (E. Subbotsky).
• The model of communication between people that an individual prefers (S. Bratchenko).

Modern psychological schools, summarizing the experience of previous and the latest research, define the concept of communication style as an individually constant form of a person’s communicative behavior depending on the conditions of interaction.

Ignoring

This style of behavior of people in conflict is characterized by a conscious or unconscious avoidance of sorting out the relationship. A person who has chosen this strategy tries not to get into unpleasant situations. If they arise, he simply avoids discussing decisions that are fraught with disagreement. The most common is unconscious ignoring, which is a defense mechanism of the psyche.

Some people use this model quite deliberately, and this is a justified move. Ignoring is not always an evasion of responsibility or an escape from a problem. This deferment may be an appropriate solution for certain situations.

• If the problem that has arisen is not important for the party, and there is no point in defending your rights.
• There is no time and energy to find the optimal solution. You can return to the conflict later, or it will resolve itself.
• The opponent has great power, or the other interlocutor feels that he is in the wrong.
• If there is a possibility that dangerous details will be revealed during the discussion, after which the disagreement will only intensify.
• Other styles of behavior in conflict turned out to be ineffective.
• Relationships are short-lived or unpromising; there is no need to maintain them.
• The interlocutor is a conflict person (rude, complainant, etc.). Sometimes it is better not to have a dialogue with such people.

Factors influencing style formation

Communication style in psychology is the stable characteristics of human behavior in interaction with other people. The same person can use different styles depending on the circumstances in which he plays different roles.

A person can use completely opposite styles in relationships in business and in the family.

The choice of style depends on a number of important factors:

• The setting in which communication takes place.
• Set tasks that need to be solved through communication.
• Personal characteristics and status of subjects of interaction.
• Worldview of the interlocutor.

In the course of the research, scientists came to the conclusion that the communication style in any case reflects the subject’s attitude to the activity and its socio-cultural characteristics. Style is not an innate quality; it is formed under the influence of the social environment, can change and is subject to conscious correction.

Classification of communication styles in psychology.

Communication styles are fully related to the psychological characteristics of the individual, the degree of manifestation of his communicative properties. The external political and economic situation, national traditions and environmental norms have a significant influence on the formation of style.

Rivalry

This strategy is typical for most people, in which the interlocutor tries to pull the blanket to his side. Only their own interests are valued, other people's needs are not taken into account, and opinions and arguments are simply ignored. The competing party is trying to force people to accept their point of view in every possible way.

Position and power can even be used for coercion in this style of behavior. Participants in the conflict representing the opponent are often not satisfied with the solution, and they may sabotage it or abandon the relationship. Therefore, competition is ineffective and rarely fruitful. Moreover, the decision made in most cases turns out to be incorrect, since other people’s opinions are not taken into account. When is competition effective in conflict?

• When there is authority and sufficient power, and the proposed solution seems obvious and the most correct.
• There is no other choice and nothing to lose.
• If the interlocutors (often subordinates) prefer an authoritarian style of communication.

Styles

In psychology, it is customary to distinguish 6 styles:

1. Affiliate. Characteristic of long-term relationships where both opponents know each other well and want to maintain mutual understanding and trust.
2. Pragmatic. Suitable for situations where the relationship with a person is not important. It is more important to push the conflict away from yourself.
3. Psychoprotective. The goal is to maintain internal harmony. It arises where the mutually exclusive interests of opponents are noticeable.
4. Dominant. One or both participants behave selfishly, aggressively, or violate social norms.
5. Contact. One person behaves as contactably as possible, trying to find out as much as possible about the opponent in order to then control him.
6. Self-affirming. One person is trying to “break” the other so that he himself gives up the confrontation.

The first 3 styles relate to constructive conflict resolution, the last 3 to destructive ones.

Device

This strategy is characterized by giving up the fight and changing one’s own position. The situation is smoothed out by the compliance of the opponent, who believes that it is better to preserve the relationship than to quarrel and achieve what is right. With this style of behavior of the parties, the conflict is forgotten, but sooner or later it will make itself felt. There is no need to give up your interests. You can return to discussing the problem after some time and try to find a solution in a more favorable environment.

In what situations is it better to make concessions?

• When the needs of another person seem more important, and his feelings about this are very strong.
• The subject of disagreement is not significant.
• If the priority is to maintain good relationships rather than defend your opinion.
• There is a feeling that there is not enough chance to convince the interlocutor that you are right.

Confrontation

Confrontation in its focus is aimed at, acting actively and independently, achieving one’s own interests, regardless of the other parties directly involved in the conflict, or even to the detriment of them. Those who use this style of behavior seek to impose their solution to the problem on others, rely only on their own strength, and do not accept joint actions. At the same time, elements of maximalism, strong-willed pressure, and the desire to force the opponent to accept the point of view he disputes, by any means, including force pressure, administrative sanctions, intimidation, blackmail, etc., are manifested, to gain the upper hand over him at any cost, to win. in conflict. As a rule, confrontation is chosen in situations where:

• the problem is of vital importance for the participant in the conflict, who believes that he has sufficient power to quickly resolve it in his favor;
• the conflicting party occupies a very advantageous, essentially win-win position for itself and has the opportunity to use it to achieve its own goal;
• the subject of the conflict is confident that his proposed solution to the problem in this situation, and at the same time, having a higher rank, insists on making this decision, is currently deprived of another choice and practically does not risk losing anything, acting decisively in defense of his interests and dooming opponents to lose.

We must not forget, however, that any pressure, in whatever form it occurs, can result in an explosion of unbridled emotions, the destruction of respectful and trusting relationships, and an excessively negative reaction from those who find themselves defeated and will not give up trying to achieve revenge. Therefore, this style is of little use in most interpersonal conflicts; it is not the best option for maintaining a healthy moral and psychological atmosphere in the team, or creating conditions that allow employees to get along with each other.

Types of people in conflicts

The style of behavior in conflict situations can be viewed from a slightly different angle. Psychologists also identify types of “difficult” people that you may encounter in a controversial situation.

"Steam boiler". These are unceremonious and very rude people who are afraid of losing authority and believe that everyone should agree with them. If it is not so important to win the argument, then it is better to concede. Otherwise, you first need to wait for the person to let off steam, and only then stand up for what’s right.

"Explosive Child" Such people are not evil by nature, but are extremely emotional. They can be compared to babies who are in a bad mood. The best solution would be to let someone shout out, and then calm the interlocutor and move on to finding a solution.

"Complainers." They complain about realistic or imaginary circumstances. It is better to listen to such people first, and then repeat the essence in his own words, thus showing your interest. After this, you can deal with the conflict. If your opponent still continues to complain, then the optimal solution is to adopt a strategy of ignoring.

"Non-conflict." Such people always give in to please others. But words may differ from deeds. Therefore, the emphasis should be placed not on agreement with the decision, but on the fact that the opponent will keep his promise.

"The silent ones." Usually these are extremely secretive people who are difficult to bring into dialogue. If avoiding the problem is not an option, then you need to try to overcome your opponent’s isolation. To do this, you need to reveal the essence of the conflict by asking only open questions. You may even have to be a little persistent to keep the conversation going.

Passive-aggressive

During passive-aggressive interactions, aggression is often expressed indirectly through cunning and control. If you feel powerless, angry, or hurt, you may respond in a sarcastic or extremely dark manner. You may also react to conflict as a person who is usually called two-faced. After all, you can simply tell a person that everything is fine, but at the same time continue to act maliciously behind his back, spreading rumors or harming him in other ways. Anyone who is forced to deal with your passive-aggressive behavior will likely feel hurt, embarrassed, and resentful.