“We are not like that, life is like that,” sighs the one who has not achieved a single worthy goal in life. So maybe it's the other way around? And life is like this because we are like this?
Let’s go to Instagram: any blog marked “business” will tell you how to set goals so that this time you will definitely achieve something. And in general, wherever you look, there is nothing but talk about goal setting, time management and personal motivation.
But talking about goals is not moving bags; the main thing in this matter is the result. Especially if these are female goals.
And in fact, only a few achieve truly worthwhile results, while the rest cannot break out of the vicious circle “work from 9 to 6, Friday - with friends at the bar, vacation at mom’s dacha.”
You can cover the entire wall with photographs of a rich life, which you carefully cut out from shiny gloss, and a year later look at the sun-bleached collage and just sigh sadly - nothing from this beautiful life is in your reality.
A year passes, a second, a third - and nothing happens in life, it’s just Groundhog Day. Women's self-realization is at zero.
We set goals, but we cannot bring them to their logical conclusion, we do not know what we want, what we dream about. What's wrong with us?
Think about what you want
In fact, most people have a very vague idea of what they want from life. They don’t understand how to distinguish between goals and dreams. Moreover, most often they know exactly what they DO NOT WANT - to be poor, to ride a trolleybus to work, to sit in the office, and so on.
Starting from a bad life, many mistakenly take this “anti-desire” as a goal. After some time, they realize with disappointment that they are marking time - no global changes are observed. That's why it's so important to know what you want.
It's like calling a taxi and not specifying the destination address:
- Take me away from the Kievsky station!
-Where should you go?
- But all the same, the main thing is from here.
Is it possible to be in the right place if you don’t know where you need to go?
It’s the same with goals - it’s not enough to know that the current state of affairs doesn’t suit you much, you also need to decide on WHAT YOU WANT, and only then go and achieve.
Features of female psychology
Women's psychology is by its nature very complex, but very interesting. Very often, men simply cannot understand how a woman behaves in certain situations. This manifests itself from early childhood. At first, girls like one thing, and then something completely different, and sometimes even the opposite of the previous one. As they grow up, they change their views and interests and form their own point of view. It is at this time that they set themselves goals that they want to achieve in the future. Some people dream of great achievements in their career, while others dream of a friendly family.
Today, women are more striving for independence than before. They strive to realize themselves in various fields. Therefore, the idea arises that a modern woman is a careerist who does not need a family and children. This opinion is wrong. Women strive to start a family, but at the same time they can earn money by working at their favorite job.
Stereotypes of gender perception
You can often hear men say “Women have a weak psyche” or “How to understand female psychology.” And then the words are heard that all women are unpredictable and fickle. Sometimes it happens. Tired at work, a woman can create a scandal over a trifle. But this doesn't always happen.
In addition, men should not be irritated by constant female conversations. Women are not inclined to make important decisions on their own, so you need to listen to them and give them some advice. At least that's how it should be.
Women are much more emotional than men. The woman’s explanations and stories are not always logical. But they have a more developed intuition and inner voice, which allows women to draw conclusions that a “logical” man cannot make.
Every woman wants to be tender and caring for her beloved. A woman’s persistence and capriciousness indicate that she is not confident in her man. Therefore, a feeling of love from a man’s side is important for women. It allows a woman to be confident in herself and her own strengths. The words “I love you” and the actions of a man will forever dispel any woman’s doubts.
Taking this into account, one can understand the psychology and behavior of women. However, men and women do not need to be understood. You just need to love them!
Psychology of color perception
Psychologists have long identified a direct relationship between preferred and rejected colors and the state of the human soul. How can one or another shade of color affect our mood?
Color is electromagnetic waves that, when perceived by the human eye and brain, are converted into color sensations. And then an associative series is formed, for example, “red - danger, yellow - attention, green - calm and permission to act.” A traffic light works on the same principle. If you use the properties of flowers correctly, you can influence the mood and even the psycho-emotional state of a person. You can also use the effects of color in the treatment of certain diseases.
Color meanings and properties
- In a depressed state, you need to refrain from black and gray colors.
- Lemon, green, blue, and white colors will help with a bad mood
- The most suitable colors for raising the overall tone of the body and vital energy are shades of yellow and orange.
- Red and purple are considered exciting colors They are good to use for a temporary increase in performance. However, it is highly not recommended to use them indoors for frequent stays.
- are good for inflammatory processes in the body . They normalize blood pressure and help alleviate painful conditions.
- Purple is considered the color of spirituality and meditative state The color of creative people, pregnant women, self-development and harmony evokes a state of calm and bliss, inspiration and flight of fantasy.
Any color in the palette of nature is unique in its own way.
Choosing gloomy black or sunny yellow is a matter of choice and attitude of each person.
Female psychologist Dinara
Where to begin?
Be positive
One of the keys to successful goal setting is a positive formulation of desires: not “lose excess weight and quit smoking,” but “be slim and healthy.”
In other words, do not get rid of what you have now, but acquire something new: abilities, skills, qualities.
Be specific
Many people want to be happy, but the word “happiness” is too abstract and means different things to different people.
Decide what makes you happy - and make those things a priority. Setting goals for women is very important.
You won't remember. Write it down!
Keep a notebook and write down all your dreams point by point - from the smallest to the most cherished. Goals that are not recorded on paper or in an electronic planner are vague and chaotic.
Spiritual self-development of a woman
Self-realization of a woman is impossible without self-knowledge and self-development. You need to understand and realize the feminine essence, what is missing for happiness, what qualities. Write everything you need for a happy life, create yourself and life with your own hands. Constantly work to improve your qualities, skills, and abilities.
Understanding yourself and being in harmony with the world is incredibly important for a woman’s self-realization. Often girls do not understand what is missing, they feel depression, loss of strength, this is due to lack of fulfillment, inability to experience pleasure and joy in life.
It is important to achieve harmony, to balance all parts of life - professional fulfillment, family (romance), interests and hobbies. Such a life is called full, and the personality is called versatile.
Learn to dream
Dream the way children do. Ask what your child wants and he will inundate you with dozens of options - from a huge milk chocolate bar to intergalactic travel.
Children dream as if anything is possible. Boring adults don’t know how to dream—or rather, they try, but they do it very clumsily.
First, they give up the dream of a magic wand, then of flying into space; at the age of 15, these almost adults for some reason decide that they will not become President, and at 25, that a Lamborghini engine will never purr in the garage of their non-existent mansion.
Year after year they forget how to dream and fall into complete stupor when they are asked what they strive for and what they dream about in reality.
Creative realization of a woman
The areas of self-realization for women are not limited to work and family. Since ancient times, we have had a love for handicrafts - knitting, embroidery, sewing. Why do these activities attract women?
- They allow you to create beauty with your own hands.
- The result of the work comes out quite quickly, it’s nice to see the finished product.
- Calming effect - needlework has a beneficial effect on the nervous system.
Self-realization of a modern woman also involves searching for herself and discovering her creative potential. We can draw, write songs, enjoy photography, dancing, singing, hairdressing or manicure.
All this is necessary and important, and often the discovery of creative abilities leads to a change in activity and even allows one to receive financial dividends. There are several options here - use your hobby for relaxation, enjoyment, or transform it into an income-generating activity.
In any case, it is very important to have the opportunity to engage in self-knowledge, and after the birth of a child, to develop abilities and discover new sides of one’s personality. It’s never too late to study; even in retirement, they acquire other specialties and take courses abroad.
This is wonderful - we must always look for our “I”, the more we know, the deeper the personality we are. Knowledge is great power. Listen to yourself, your intuition, what is interesting, what your soul gravitates towards, perhaps you have an interest in music, painting, or want to learn a new profession?
Everything is possible, the main thing is desire . A woman’s self-realization, her development continues throughout her life, and children inherit their parents in everything, as well as their habits and interests. Thus, passion for sports is an excellent example for the younger generation; music also develops a person’s spirituality. Look for yourself, realize your potential!
An example of a woman's creative self-realization
J. K. Rowling is the author of books about Harry Potter, her books are now sold in 60 countries around the world, and her royalties have reached millions of pounds. And it all started out of love for books and literature. The writer's life was quite difficult, she lived on the verge of poverty, but she had a love of writing; as a child she wrote a fairy tale for her sister, and later told the stories to her daughter.
And then one day, on the way on the train, a picture of plots from the future novel about Harry Potter appeared in her head. Subsequently, the manuscript was finalized and sent to several publishing houses. Of the 12, only one agreed to try to publish the novel, the rest refused...
Yes, success does not always come immediately; there has already been a struggle for subsequent editions of the book. Joan discovered her creative potential and was able to provide a comfortable life for herself and her children.
Don't let your dreams go through the filter!
Don’t let your formed beliefs stop you from wanting something! Don't limit yourself in your dreams!
Self-doubt does not allow some people to raise the bar of their desires - they “know” in advance that all their plans are doomed to failure, that they will not succeed and there is no point in even trying.
The only thing they are sure of is that they have no ability for languages, they are always unlucky, all their ideas turn out to be failures, and so on.
Allow yourself to want to top the Forbes list, go on a “round the world” trip and, what the hell, fly into space. It's not the gods who burn the pots!
Understand that reality is not limited to your ideas about it - and you cannot allow your childhood complexes to become an obstacle to your goal.
And don’t let my mother’s words ring in my head: “You want a lot, you get little,” “If you want it, you don’t want it too much!”
This is not about you - you define what you want to get from life, and you will definitely get it.
Women's self-realization
Happy people are difficult to manage. It is impossible to impose on them how to behave, what to buy, where to go, how to build relationships. And tired of loneliness or family, unhappy from lack of fulfillment, women living in “Groundhog Day” can snatch whatever they want, however they want.
TV knows that your husband is his..., TV knows that to become happy you have to be a bitch, earn a lot of money and spend everything on satisfying your “desires”. TV knows what you want to buy for your child today and what you need to be happy. True female self-realization is always a balance! Family and work balance. These are always correctly set priorities in life. This is constant self-improvement.
Female self-realization is the most powerful source of strength for a woman. She doesn't take away strength, she gives it. This is inspiration from life and your own path. Women who managed to find their way, their balance are realized in life. They do not suffer from depression, panic attacks, hyper-jealousy or over-protectiveness. They simply don’t have time to suffer through all this “bullshit” that someone who has given up on herself as a woman can afford.
Self-realization does not always mean work with monetary rewards. This is always something that one day may begin to bear fruit for you, including in the form of money. The most important difference between women's self-realization and men's is that it is not only a career.
There is no competition in female self-realization. She has a love for her work and stages of development. Self-realization is a favorite thing! It's a hobby! This is an outlet. This is what you will jump out of bed for in the morning, this is what will push you to constant improvement.
The goal should be about yourself and to yourself
Your goal should not depend on another person or include anyone you know. If you lose weight, then this is your achievement, you do not do it for fashion, for a boyfriend, or to make your friends jealous.
There is no point in setting a goal to please someone, to become smarter, richer and more beautiful in someone’s eyes. Imagine that these people simply do not exist in your life. Is there any point in continuing to strive for this goal?
Focus on yourself beloved
Focus on yourself and your personality and think about what qualities you would like to cultivate in yourself. Remember what you dreamed of as a child or who you wanted to become, who admires you, and what character traits in people irritate you. what are you interested in?
What are you willing to do, even if you don’t get paid for it? What makes you calm down and what do you spend the lion's share of your free time on?
Imagine your ideal future - the following questions will help you:
- What time do you usually wake up?
- What does your dream job look like?
- What do you do and what goals will make you happy?
- Do you live in a metropolis or in a rural area?
- Who lives in the same house with you?
- How much money do you earn?
- How much is your car worth?
Focus on the details - if you want to live in a big city, think about what kind of city it should be, if you dream of a dog, what breed it should be, if you are talking about a car, then concentrate on the make, model and do not forget about the year of manufacture .
You should know everything about your ideal future, as if it were all already in your hands. Questions like these will help you “draw” a picture of what you really want and make your goals as specific as possible
Rules for business attire
- A high heel gives grace to the step, but at the same time, uncertainty. In turn, an unsteady gait will undermine the image of the leader and come into conflict with any authoritative opinion that you express. If you are short, you will look confident and beautiful in medium heels, and save high heels for other occasions;
- It is customary to judge a person’s attitude towards himself by whether his hands are well-groomed or not. Let's say that nails that are bitten reveal an insecure personality. Ungroomed hands indicate that the owner values himself little. This does not fit with the idea of a successful person;
- You should not open your body more than is customary. Open parts of the body capture the attention of others in a sexual way and distract from work. In business style, it is customary to cover your arms at least halfway, and wear a jacket for business meetings, even if it is hot;
- If your skirt rises a few centimeters when you sit down, it's too short or tight to wear to the office. A looser cut of the skirt will correct this situation. And in general, clothes in the office should not distract from work, hence the conclusion - we leave the neckline, mini, at home;
- Bright monochrome colors make a woman look like a doll, and this, in turn, leads to the fact that colleagues on a subconscious level will no longer take you seriously. The best colors for this are white, gray, black and conservative style.
In general, if you lack authority, wear good suits, strict lines, expensive striped or checkered fabrics. Little initiative - buy a red suit, but do not overdo it with bright colors. You need to show business acumen - wear men's suits. See for yourself, as the industry works, the choice is yours. With the help of clothes you can simplify the path to your goal, the main thing is to use it skillfully and wisely.
Match goals with opportunities
We smoothly move from dreams to goals.
What is the difference between a dream and a goal?
- The goal has a deadline (for example, to complete the Woman’s Path before the age of 30)
- The goal must be clear and contain numbers
- The goal must be realistic (take a marketing course - yes, be able to fly - no)
Assess your goals - some may take half your life to achieve, while a smaller goal can be achieved in a couple of months.
Break goals that are too complex into subgoals - this will make it clearer where to move and where to start.
Small tasks are more easily perceived by the brain, so it will be easier to move towards the goal - after all, every small step turns your global dream into reality.
Is this your goal?
Some of the goals are worth reconsidering altogether. For example, if you want to become the most popular photographer in the city, think about it, is this really your dream?
Or this desire arose by chance - let's say you were scrolling through Instagram and came across the blog of one of the fashion photographers. His life seems so rich and interesting that you decided to follow suit, find the same profession in the hope that it will take you along the same path and make you just as happy and carefree.
That is, you believe that the same actions will lead you to the same result. Maybe. But are you sure that you can follow his path to the end, and not give up before the first difficulties?
Before shelling out a hefty sum for a professional camera, stop and think: does this goal really excite me?
The goal should be yours and yours alone.
If a goal doesn’t align with your life values, there’s a big risk that you simply won’t have enough motivation to achieve it.
Deadlines
It is important to clearly understand by what time you plan to achieve what you want. Set a time frame to track which path you have already taken and what else needs to be done to achieve your plans.
How will you know that the goal has been achieved? Stop now and think about this question. What's about to happen? How will your life change? What feelings and emotions fill you at the same time? Set the end point.
Set up “beacons” - if we are talking about money, then indicate the amount that should be on hand by the appointed time. If we are talking about extra pounds, then the ideal weight figure.
From time to time, review your goals, close some and decide on others, clarify and make the necessary adjustments. Do this at least twice a year - for example, on your birthday and New Year.
Areas of self-improvement or what to choose
Popular areas include health, material well-being, profession and relationships with the opposite sex. Less popular ones include creativity and spiritual development. Each person also identifies his own specific areas, the lack of development of which worries him personally.
In most cases, improvements are required in several areas at once. The area that needs adjustment more than others also affects other areas of life. For example, if you are often sick, you will not be able to earn more, develop professionally, or get an education.
It is necessary to start working on yourself from the most problematic area with the support of the most developed area. If you don’t have a job, but you are a creative person (artist, poet), try turning your hobby into a profession. A woman who has made a career, but has not found a loved one, can look for him at the workplace.
