Psychological maturity is understood as such a state of psyche and worldview when a person allows himself to be considered a realized individual. Throughout our lives, a person develops self-confidence, strives for serious relationships and becomes emotionally mature.
Maturity allows you to reveal all a person’s abilities and talents, to flourish spiritually and materially. However, here you should not start from any specific point, since this state of human achievement is subject to constant improvement and work on oneself. Next, we will analyze the main signs of a mature personality.
How to become an emotionally mature person
Triggers
By noticing triggers, you can recognize moments when you are in a defensive position. We need to find out the reasons for such fears. Most often, the answers lie in childhood: parents, school environment or friends. Some people are afraid to dig that deep. But this definitely brings us closer to becoming an emotionally mature person.
Accept reality
An emotionally mature person does not blame circumstances or fate for all his troubles, which can last a lifetime. Stop being disappointed in people and being surprised by their “wrong behavior.”
A mature act would be to change your attitude towards people and their actions, since every person hides something good in himself. Surround yourself with positive people who give you energy rather than take it away.
Responsibility
Any reaction to a particular situation is only your own reaction, for which you are personally responsible. A mature person adequately approaches the impossibility of solving certain problems. It is necessary to work out a negative attitude towards problems.
Identity
The topic of identity is very important in the development of emotional maturity, because here a person determines what he wants from life, what kind of family life he wants, friends, neighbors, attitude towards people and people towards you (this is about personal boundaries).
Integrity
Integrity acts as a definition of what is good for you and what is evil, which is categorically contrary to your principles. Integrity means obtaining information on the most complex corners of the personality. To become an emotionally mature person, decide for yourself clearly how you will react to a given situation.
Self-discipline
Self-discipline keeps emotions in check so they don't get out of control. Discipline allows you to be reliable to yourself and to other people. To learn discipline, you can start planning and completing small goals throughout the week. It is worth gradually increasing the complexity and scale of goals. The “muscle” of willpower in an emotionally mature person is accustomed to constant training.
You can become emotionally mature by considering only yourself as the main person in your life and at the same time caring for others, maintaining a balance of compassion, kindness and personal boundaries. A great way to overcome stress is to help others, not to save the world, but to pay attention to loved ones and others. The main quality of personal development is the ability to cope with emotions, discipline and patience.
Take care of your health
And now some numbers - they are more convincing than any words, don’t you agree? Three quarters of Russians are interested in their health and about half undergo regular medical examinations. Does this characterize them as mature individuals? Undoubtedly!
Anyone who ignores high blood pressure, does not take care of fillings and hemoglobin, apparently dreams of becoming a burden to their loved ones in ten years. Or is this form of toxicity another reason to suffer and beg for attention?
Those who are now 50+ advise 30-year-olds to take care of their health (especially their teeth!) - and this is not their only wise advice.
Help others for free
An accomplished person always has an oversized heart. By helping others, he feels needed, communicates with like-minded people, finds new friends and, no matter how pretentious it may sound, changes the world for the better. Is it really worth becoming a blood donor, for example? Only our desire and a little time (200 ml of blood does not count, it is a renewable resource).
America's most famous mother, Esther Wojcicki, who raised three representatives of the Forbes list, considers charity and volunteering an important pillar in raising independent and successful people.
Authenticity
From ancient Greek the word is translated as “genuine” and echoes the concept of “congruence.” We are talking about the adequacy and consistency of the elements. In this context, it is comparable to the word “originality” and is one of the most important indicators of the psychological maturity of an individual.
The phenomenon is described by the American scientist D. Bugental, who includes the following points:
- awareness of the present;
- freedom of choice here and now;
- awareness of one's own responsibility for this choice.
An authentic person is sincere in his immediate manifestations and in his behavior in general. He does not pretend to be knowledgeable, in love or pleased in response to the expectations of others. Many strive to play roles, putting on masks and wasting energy on demonstrating a decent external facade without solving internal problems. In response, they also receive insincerity, making it difficult to decipher the real attitude of other people towards themselves.
An authentic personality spends time solving problems that arise, without hiding behind someone else's mask. She is capable of showing flexibility in any situation.
What is the difference between psychological and social maturity
Today, psychologists have come to understand that psychological maturity is the psychosocial age of the individual. However, this does not mean that psychological maturity is identical to social maturity. The level of development of an individual determines a person’s social success.
Personal maturity presupposes a high level of development in a person of socially significant qualities: willpower, responsibility, activity, initiative. It constitutes the moral and ethical basis of the individual and determines his readiness for independent life, for creating a strong family and for the proper upbringing of children.
Social maturity characterizes the degree of development of an individual’s communication skills and his ability to interact. It manifests itself in the form of predictability, adequacy and mental stability of the individual during communication. Outside of a communication situation, social competence cannot be demonstrated. The psychological competence of an individual is manifested in any activity in which a person is engaged: in work, in everyday affairs.
“Pumping up” awareness
Remember the song “I’m in the moment” that everyone is tired of? Here she is about it. The ability to live here and now, without discussion and criticism, to be present in every minute of the present and to be free from patterns of behavior and emotions is the highest pleasure for a mature personality.
Make time your friend, not your enemy. Various bodily practices, yoga and meditation will help you with this. The state “caught” during these activities will later become a habit.
Have healthy self-esteem
“At your age, it would be time to…”, “Are you stupid?”, “Nothing good will come of him” - if you have ever heard these phrases addressed to you, then you know what low self-esteem is. Where do you think insecure adults come from, living in constant neurosis and seeking the approval of others instead of being themselves?
There is an antidote! Give up negative thinking, accept your differences and finally love yourself. There is no other person like him on Earth. By the way, here are some practical tips that will help raise your self-esteem from your knees.
Becoming an Emotionally Mature Person
Human development is associated with a significant period of childhood when play and role-playing behavior is interpreted. At this time, the child begins to become aware of himself. The role that a person of this age will play is set by mask images.
Most often these are the closest people - mom and dad, where the child is looking for a living sample. Children's actions copy the example of adults. The entire surrounding world is personified by the baby’s actions, giving them a mask. This helps to better understand the phenomena occurring.
The lack of logical justification, imagination and behavior of the baby is the key to creative development. Further, an adult will relate to the world and love it at the level of personification and diversity of forces that operate in the world around him.
Inner theater begins with this mask, which contributes to survival, meaning and, most importantly, personal development. Thanks to this, a person learns to sense his personality.
Throughout life, a person passes through various social roles. Some are learned naturally, others through effort. The action and existence of an individual is determined by culture.
His persona (what you appear to others) is determined by the images that those around you create and implement. A persona is a mask imposed by society or a social group. The visual beauty of a person hides a person who is afraid to show himself or his abilities.
The increasing complexity of social life has led to profound changes and increased multiplicity of such masks. To become an emotionally mature person, you need to identify areas of your life with emotional difficulties. Monitor situations that you are handling somehow incorrectly at a deep level of your personality.
Without a God complex
Mature people are aware that they are not able to control and manage everything. Many things are beyond our control - and that’s okay. For example, the weather, the dollar exchange rate and... children. No matter how much you prepare and no matter how much money you save, what will grow will grow. Although this mother seems to really know more than others about preparing for parenthood.
Calmly and firmly defend their point of view
And all because they take responsibility, are not afraid of criticism and are not offended. Do you understand, right? All points are closely interconnected, forming the ideal of a mature personality. Yale University researchers have proven that people stop hearing each other when one of them raises his voice or starts making threats. So what's the point of straining your vocal cords...
Now let's see what adults do. They speak calmly and moderately (not “We’re getting a divorce”, but “I get upset when your socks are scattered all over the room”), do not consider the interlocutor as a rival and do not interrupt their opponent.
Not afraid of criticism
You have prepared a report, go into the boss’s office and already notice dissatisfaction in his eyes.
Your palms are sweating, your hands are shaking, your thoughts are spinning as fast as business ideas in Rudkovskaya’s head... Perhaps as a child, you were often a victim of toxic behavior from adults - then (and even now!) it was called “education.” Feeling like a fifth grader at the blackboard when you are 34 is not good. Remember: constructive criticism is a great opportunity to look at your work from the outside and additional motivation to improve. You are not a schoolboy who forgot about his homework!
It’s another matter if the boss begins to evaluate your mental abilities and external data. This must be stopped.
Respect others, do not label
The word “respect” itself is vague. This is not a throbbing pain in the temples, not the poor butterflies that are immured in the stomach, and not even a runny nose. True respect is a story about feelings, the ability to appreciate a person’s ability to be themselves.
It’s hard to believe that a mature person would be rude to the cleaning lady or create scandals at the checkout. No reproaches, insults, ridicule, comparisons (oh, this is the favorite technique of many parents when arguments run out in a dispute), criticism of appearance and preferences. No, it's not difficult. Yes, it increases the degree of positivity around. Try it!
Are developing
At the university we are told that we need to forget everything that was taught at school, at work - to erase university knowledge from our memory. So what do we get? A person who develops only in professional activities, without “pumping up” the emotional and cultural knowledge necessary to broaden his horizons.
What have you done with this outlook, you say! Well, how? What can we talk about with a person if, for example, we don’t understand “contracts with reimbursement of expenses” and “rheological properties of materials”? Plus, returning to point 4, constantly learning something new, you prevent the development of Alzheimer's disease, and few people want to date this “uncle”.
