A person is constantly late: why and what to do

“A Tide Optimist is a person who is usually late because he thinks he has more time than he actually has. That is, the person is constantly late.”

If only I had known this word before, everything would have made sense to me. But I guess I didn't have enough time because I was too busy, missing my deadlines and disappointing others because I was always late.

However, a tidsoptimist is a kind of optimist in life. The Tidsoptimist is extremely optimistic about time. They see hours in seconds, which is why it is so difficult to be realistic about deadlines and various tasks.

Being optimistic in general is a good trait, but being optimistic about time is a little tricky. Although it is not good to be too anxious to always be punctual, it is also not good to be too optimistic.

But there are some good sides too, and if you discuss it with someone, they will agree that it is very difficult to label as bad or good. Tidsoptimists know this very well. I know this well.

I almost lost my job because I would always be late, always making excuses, but you can't fool people for life. Sooner or later they will realize that you have some problems regarding time, and when that time comes, you better explain it to them.

The mind of a tidsoptimist seems like an eternal battlefield where time is both your companion and your worst enemy. You think you're rocking it until you realize you'll be late and have to deal with all those disappointed faces waiting for you to apologize.

But the thing is, we don't do this on purpose. We really try to arrive on time, but for some reason something prevents us from doing this, because we are busy with something else or because we think that there is more time than there actually is.

General information

Lack of punctuality is a problem that a person, to one degree or another, faces every day. People who are regularly late cause misunderstandings and, for some, hostility. A person who is unable to come to an appointment on time does not inspire respect; one gets the impression that he is irresponsible and does not know how to control himself. A late person is a person who is constantly late (as others call him).

If you are familiar with the phrase: “I’m always late for work,” then you know that this is also terrible and inconvenient, because you have to do everything in a hurry, literally run down the street, come up with a logical excuse, apologize and make excuses. This is why it is so important to learn to plan everything in your life and use your time rationally.

Not all people who are late think about what consequences may await them in the future. They get a bad reputation, colleagues realize that they cannot rely on such an individual, he cannot be trusted, and this aggravates relationships in the team and negatively affects self-esteem.

Being late can lead to serious problems in your personal life and at work; it always provokes negative emotions, indignation, and irritation of others.

We always think that there is enough time.

If you ask the Tidsoptimist not to be late, he will tell you that there is enough time. This is because we are confident that there is plenty of time, although we have no evidence of this.

But it is deeply rooted in our being and fighting it will only make things worse. Sometimes it's good to be stress-free and think that you won't be late because time is your friend. It's good to be able to relax and chill in your free time rather than worrying about everything that's waiting for you to complete them.

But when it comes to deadlines, this kind of thinking just kills us. And we understand this when it is already too late. We will think that we still have time until someone comes to us to say that we have deceived him again.

The benefits of punctuality

Punctual man looks calm and happy

To decide to eradicate the habit of being late, you need to understand how much better your life will be if you can become punctual:

the number of stressful situations will decrease - the boss will stop reprimanding, your loved one will not be offended, work negotiations will take place in a timely manner and in a positive mood;
They will stop saying unpleasant words behind your back, they will not judge you or demonstrate their indignation;
colleagues will begin to respect you, and this also applies to family members - they will understand that you had to make a lot of efforts in order to improve;
You will be able to climb the career ladder. This situation is typical for cases when a person has merit at work, but regular tardiness does not allow him to grow. When management sees that an employee has become responsible, they decide that he can be rewarded.

Punctuality is a positive character trait and can be instilled at any age.

The Roots of Unpunctuality

Researchers at New York University Business School conclude that unpunctual people continue to be late even though they understand the consequences.

On average, we underestimate the time required to complete a task by 40%.

The University of San Diego conducted a study among 181 operators in the New York metro area. According to neuroscientists, people with a tendency to multitask are less punctual. In such conditions, the brain has a harder time with metacognition, so we lose sight of details such as schedules.

Possible reasons

Inability to plan your day leads to regular delays

Among the factors that can influence lateness, there are many reasons. However, in most cases, this is the result of an incorrect daily routine, excessive slowness, inability to appreciate the transience of time and confusion.

Procrastination. An individual who finds many side tasks instead of doing his main job, as a rule, is always late. Laziness and an overly measured lifestyle cause a serious lack of time.
The desire to control everything. A person with this kind of thinking is sure that if he is late for a meeting, they will wait for him, which means he is important and controls the process himself. In fact, here we are talking about the illusion of control, which is perceived by others as disrespect and a manifestation of weakness.
A way to attract attention. Such individuals are mostly vain and self-centered. With this behavior they assert themselves, because someone is forced to wait for their appearance.
Lack of ability to properly manage your time. An individual is simply not able to determine how long it will take him to complete a particular task. Here we can also talk about cases where a certain routine has been developed, but after changing jobs, the person cannot get used to the new routine.
Conscious lateness. If this reason occurs, then the individual, as a rule, is delayed for the same time, for example, 10 minutes. According to experts, the personality type and the method of resistance are to blame. Such people experienced rebellion in childhood. They refuse to do what others expect from them. Also, such actions can be provoked by the desire to feel a little stress.
A person can only be late for certain meetings. There may be a fear factor at play here. Essentially, he is trying to stall for time. This includes the case of a student. A child may regularly be late for classes due to reluctance to go to school. In this way he tries to delay the time as much as possible.
Need for punishment. This includes people who are in the role of a victim, who are hidden masochists. As a child, they had experience of building the wrong relationships with people. A person is thus able to receive everyone's attention. He is sure that if he is scolded or beaten, punished in any way, they will express love - after all, such behavior indicates a lack of indifference.
Passive desire to quit work. An individual who cannot directly express his indignation and unwillingness to attend his workplace, by such actions provokes his superiors to dismiss him.
Bad habit. A person has been regularly late for a long time. Such behavior becomes his lifestyle, over time a character trait.

I had a classmate who was late for classes every day, then for practice, then for work. Being late is her pathological habit. Even when punishment was introduced for late arrival, she was unable to arrive on time.

You may have noticed that in most cases there are psychological problems, which means everything can be changed. The problem is that individuals who are constantly late are in no hurry to correct themselves.

Risk group

Lack of self-control leads to regular lateness

Let's look at what personal characteristics can increase a person's chances of being late:

lack of self-control;
feeling of discomfort during social communication;
increased nervousness;
the need for constant production of adrenaline;
in case of failure, blame the circumstances, not yourself;
inability to say “no” - situations when a person takes on obligations that he cannot handle, or does not have enough time to fulfill them;
need for control;
inability to concentrate, the individual is constantly distracted;
anxiety;
low self-esteem;
low self-discipline.

How to fix yourself

You need to learn to control your time, plan your day correctly

Let's look at what to do in a situation where you are constantly late everywhere.

Make it a habit to prepare in advance for an important event. If you need to go to work or school in the morning, pack all the necessary things in the evening and prepare your clothes. If you have a date in the evening, prepare yourself for it in advance. You can think in advance about what to wear, what shoes to wear, what perfume to use.
Train yourself to write down what you do. Why is this necessary? If you can describe your everyday actions, analyze them, you will see what exactly you are doing wrong, for what reasons you are constantly late. For example, a lot of time is spent trying on clothes before meeting friends; When getting ready for school, you spend time scrolling through your news feed on a social network. Having identified unnecessary actions that you can refuse, eliminate them from your life to get rid of unpunctuality.
Keep a diary in which you note your achievements. Finally, you managed to show up on time for a date, managed to arrive at work earlier than other colleagues - write about this in your diary. You need to note each manifestation of punctuality in it; over time, you will be able to see how your list is filled, and the desire to arrive on time will increase.
Plan ahead. Some people are late due to unforeseen circumstances. However, you should not think that they justify you. A sane adult must think through all the moves, take into account possible obstacles, and calculate additional time.
Praise yourself. If you manage to arrive on time, treat yourself to some “delicious food”. If you are late, punish yourself by introducing “penalties.” Using the carrot and stick method, you will be able to look at your problem differently.
Figure out what things in your life consume a lot of time. Perhaps you often play computer games or watch a lot of TV. This is wasted time.
Learn to prioritize correctly. Think about how important it is for you to arrive on time, to look good in the eyes of your employees, or are you more interested in reading a book for an extra ten minutes?
Learn to plan your day correctly. Clearly calculate the time for performing certain actions, exercise, breakfast, work, hobbies and more.
If you don’t know how to refuse people, the best solution to the problem is to memorize standard remarks that will allow you to avoid performing additional duties without offending those asking: “I would like to help you, but I’m in a hurry” or “I have a meeting in just half an hour.” There is no free time anymore, but tomorrow I could help.”
Determine what consequences may befall you if you are late. For example, a child who is late for class is one thing, but an adult who is late for his plane is quite another. A person who does not arrive at work on time may be fired.

Now you know if an employee is late, what are the reasons for such behavior. If you yourself are regularly delayed, start correcting yourself. Understand that such behavior can lead to consequences when communicating with colleagues, classmates, or your beloved partner. Remember the benefits of punctuality.

Deadlines are our mortal enemy.

Some people are afraid of death, but people-optimists are afraid of deadlines. There's something about feeling limited to finish something when someone tells you to or when it should be done.

Deadlines are considered the biggest destroyers of our cold world, and we will never understand why people are so often on time. Wouldn't we be much more creative and passionate if we didn't worry about time?

Time pressure may be what kills our joy inside, but at the same time it is something you cannot function with. So when someone gives us a deadline, we try really hard to remember it, even though we know we'll screw it up again.

But there's this tiny spark of hope that maybe this time we'll finish on time and not five seconds before or after the deadline. And we pray to God to give us strength and freedom from worry while we are on our journey to accomplish that ultimate task of completing something eventually.