Each of us has met a person who behaves as if the world must “revolve” around him. Attempts to somehow influence the perception of reality of this person rarely lead to positive results. Sometimes it is difficult to believe that such people do not behave this way on purpose, but if they are characterized by egocentrism, they simply cannot do otherwise. What signs does this character trait have and is there any point in fighting it?
Egoism and egocentrism: what are the similarities?
Both terms are united by the common root “ego”. What is ego? From Greek this word is translated as “I”. In psychoanalytic theory, the Ego is a psychological entity inherent in every person. Through perception, she contacts the external world and illustrates its phenomena for internal understanding. The ego is a “bridge” between the Id and the Super-Ego, connecting the instincts and sublime aspirations of the soul. Thanks to the Ego, a person reacts adequately to phenomena in the outside world.
What is the everyday understanding of the terms “egoism” and “egocentrism”?
We hear the word “selfishness” often. Egoists are people who are narcissistic and do not want to take into account the opinions of others. It is often argued that modern children are selfish. This is also the name given to people who are in no hurry to get married or who are in no hurry to have children. The logic is this: egoists live for themselves, and not for others, so they are contrasted with altruists, and at the same time often with family people.
Egocentrists are called outright egoists - people who do not notice anyone except themselves, who neglect the feelings and needs of others and even relatives and friends. An egocentric person seeks his own benefit in everything; it does not matter to him that he may act to the detriment of others.
Psychological interpretations of these terms are similar in many ways to ordinary ones, but they are more accurate. They also trace the differences between egoism and egocentrism.
Signs of egocentrism
Let's take a closer look at the signs of egocentrism.
In children
If you notice egocentrism in a child, do not panic - this is a natural phenomenon. Between the ages of two and five, children are particularly active in learning how to interact with the outside world. At the same time, it is egocentrism that prevents the child from coming to an agreement with peers and minimizing manifestations - he focuses on his own desires and needs, without taking into account the needs of others.
Example of egocentrism
: the baby does not want to share toys with peers, and happily takes their things. Egocentrism also manifests itself in moments when a child is reprimanded - often he considers them unfair. Many people believe that this is manipulation, but no - this is a child’s natural perception of the world. It is difficult for him to explain the difference between his subjective feeling and reality, but over time the child comes to the realization that people’s views may not coincide.
Egocentrism is formed under the influence of certain factors - social norms, upbringing, environment. In adolescence it is especially pronounced. A boy or girl is completely focused on himself, but as hormonal levels return to normal, this goes away for most teenagers.
In adults
If in adolescence and childhood egocentrism is natural, then in adults these manifestations significantly complicate the lives of others.
To determine if you have it, think about whether you have the following traits:
- You do not understand many of the motives of others
. Many of the actions of others often come as a surprise to you—usually an unpleasant one. A friend invited many people to her birthday, but not you - you are shocked by this behavior, completely not remembering that some time ago you had a misunderstanding, you casually expressed unflattering words about her figure or her husband. For egocentrics, all these moments are insignificant; they quickly forget them, then they are amazed at the “unfair” attitude towards themselves. Without taking into account the feelings of other people, such a person does not grasp the connection between his behavior and the reciprocal actions of others. - You often prove that you are right when you encounter an incomprehensible reaction.
Nobody likes to argue with a self-centered person, especially knowing about this feature. Firstly, in a dispute with them, the truth is not “born” - the egocentric is only trying to prove his own rightness. There is no talk of exchange of opinions. Secondly, he is capable of a long discussion without noticing that his opponent is tired of the argument. He can also touch on topics that are unpleasant to the interlocutor without noticing it. Over time, acquaintances begin to avoid not only arguments, but also unnecessary conversations. - You think that you are being prejudiced
. Egocentrism is also characterized by excessive suspiciousness. Once out of adolescence, most people realize that those around them are often thinking about their own affairs, and are not focused on thoughts about them, as they previously believed. An egocentric person continues to think that those around him analyze his every move - it is difficult for him to imagine that in the lives of others there are often matters more important than his person. Suspiciousness with egocentrism leads to tension - imagining that others are constantly mentally evaluating you, it is difficult to maintain equanimity. -
. ” When a situation affects a self-centered person, he becomes toxic, cynical and unkind, saying a lot of unpleasant words. It can also “get” to the interlocutor, who is not to blame for his irritation, but who came to hand. When experiencing a strong shock or indignation, a person prone to egocentrism does not distinguish between the boundaries of what is permissible, often touching upon offensive “forbidden” topics, wanting to prick the interlocutor more painfully. Next comes the stage of repentance. An egocentric person quickly forgets what was said, not taking into account that the opponent’s feelings are hurt. The other extreme of egocentrism is that he withdraws into himself, mentally saying goodbye to the offender, forgetting that his behavior can lead to a real break in the relationship. - You are an experienced advisor
. With egocentrism, a person clearly knows how others should live. He perceives dissatisfaction with his attempts to interfere in other people's private affairs with resentment and irritation. In response, they may even insult their interlocutor, declaring his stupidity, laziness, or unwillingness to make life better. A person with egocentrism does not care that there were no requests for help and participation, and she cannot be convinced that her picture of the world is not ideal and does not suit everyone. - You are trying to achieve a more “fair treatment”
. When faced with someone else's hostility or neglect, you try to correct it by any means and prove the injustice of such an attitude. Egocentrism implies a tendency to manipulate: the bad attitude of others is corrected with due effort. The idea is tempting and dangerous. A person enters into an uncomfortable and destructive relationship, hoping to change the situation. Result: frayed nerves on both sides. The egocentric is fueled by the illusion that with a certain level of effort, the right arguments and the right tactics of behavior, the opponent’s personality will change. Complete exhaustion sets in, but it does not teach a person with egocentrism - he will use manipulation skills in another story.
Definitions in psychology
The Great Psychological Encyclopedia gives the following interpretation of egoism: “Egoism is the value orientation of the individual, in which selfish motives of selfishness come to the fore. Characterized by an unwillingness to perceive the needs and aspirations of other people.”
What about egocentrism? A large psychological dictionary gives it the following definition: “Egocentrism is an individual’s position, characterized by a focus on one’s own experiences, sensations and needs, as well as an inability to perceive information that contradicts personal attitudes, i.e. often coming from another person.”
The conclusion is not difficult to draw: egoism and egocentrism are similar if you evaluate their manifestations. The difference lies in the awareness of such attitudes. And if an egoist consciously chooses “life for himself,” then the egocentric simply does not understand that he can act differently.
How to get rid of egocentrism
Having realized the presence of egocentrism, begin to fight the character trait that complicates life.
Recommended measures:
- Learn to feel the intentions and desires of relatives and friends. Egocentrism is a lack of sensitivity to other people's needs. Do not perceive reality only from your point of view - you may well be wrong. Take responsibility for mistakes.
- Focus on realistic and achievable goals. Achieve what you need, focusing less on failures and problems. Go towards goals dictated by your dreams, and not formed under the influence of others.
- Do not think that you are an exceptional person, whose problems are more important than the difficulties of relatives and friends - this is a common attitude with egocentrism. Others also have worries and troubles - from your point of view they are less important, but the reality may be different. Learn empathy and participation.
- With egocentrism, there is a tendency to give unsolicited advice. Weren't they interested in your opinion? Let the person make his own decision, do not impose.
- Be interested in the plans and capabilities of other people - do not barge in on them or make demands at your convenience. It should be comfortable for both parties.
- Need help? Forget about the requirements, consider the capabilities of other people, their well-being, mood. Egocentrism should not prevent you from noticing nuances.
- Manifestations of egocentrism can exist in married couples - husband and wife. Is this familiar? Having realized egocentrism, agree with your partner that you will mentally take each other’s place and analyze the sensations that arise. Mutual understanding will improve, regular conflicts will stop. Do not express your beliefs to your partner in an intrusive manner, do not demand acceptance of your point of view. With egocentrism, it is necessary to learn compromises. Be respectful of other people's conclusions.
What life tactics does an egoist choose?
People first started talking about egoism during the Enlightenment, but then this term had a positive emotional connotation. “Rational self-love” was proclaimed, and it was believed that the basis of morality was the noble self-interest and aspirations of the individual. But in those days, morality and spirituality were valued much more highly; they were, as they say, “in trend.” Today, these values are recognized by society, but are less often cultivated consciously in the younger generation.
Selfishness has acquired a negative emotional connotation, although its presence is desirable for a modern person. Selfishness is not denied, but it is not exalted either, and therefore is carefully hidden and disguised. Its manifestations are presented as altruistic (altruism is the opposite of egoism). We see this in building relationships with the opposite sex. Yes, yes, behind love there is often hidden selfishness, the desire to make yourself happy first of all, not your partner. But this is a narrow example, and egoists are different.
One egoist wants to achieve career heights in order to have more material wealth. He wants to eat deliciously, dress stylishly and go on vacation at the seaside. Such an egoist wants comfort for himself, but he works to achieve it. This is modern reasonable egoism.
Another egoist also wants comfort, but he believes that anyone should take care of him, but not himself. At the same time, he dreams of working less and getting more money. And when there are problems in his work, either someone else or circumstances are to blame, but never the person himself. This is an unpleasant type of egoist who knows how to parasitize and demand, but does nothing for others. And this position is quite conscious.
Egocentric people see the world differently. They have their own understanding of reality and should.
Who are called egoists
It so happens that in everyday use we hear the word “egoist” much more often. They call it a narcissistic person who does not take into account those around him. The concept of “selfish” is applicable, for example, to children, as well as those who do not marry or start a family. In other words, egoists are people who want to live solely for themselves. The opposite of an egoist is an altruist - an individual who acts primarily for others. Most often, altruists are found among family people. Thus, egoism is an evaluative name for the behavior of an individual whose personal interests come first.
How does an egocentric person live?
An egocentric person sincerely does not understand that, in addition to his point of view, there may also be another. Or even several different opinions. He lives by the principle: “There are two opinions, mine and the wrong.”
An example from the field of family psychological counseling. A married couple comes to the specialist, and the psychologist asks the husband to stay in the corridor to first listen to the wife’s position. The woman expresses her thoughts and feelings, and the consultant then asks her to describe how her husband sees the situation. The wife is sincerely surprised, not understanding how her husband can perceive their life differently. But he can. The man comes in and tells the story from his point of view, and at the same time he does not understand why his wife has different thoughts about what is happening.
As we see, this is egocentrism in its purest manifestation. Living together for years, quarreling and making up, and not even thinking about putting yourself in the place of your spouse.
Egocentrism is inherent in children. They do not know that people are different, think and feel differently. Kids don't think about it. But if egocentrism develops into a personality trait of an adult and becomes his worldview, it is very difficult to eradicate it.
Self-centered person: who is it?
An egocentric person often does not even make an attempt to take the other person’s place and understand what his problem is. The point is not so much that he is not capable of this - it would not even occur to him to do such a thing.
Common features:
- Many people believe that self-centered people are angry and rude, but this is not always the case; more often than not, they are simply insensitive.
- They can communicate nicely with other people, enveloping them with too intrusive participation, without noticing that this is a burden to the interlocutor.
- When harassing someone, he does not pay any attention to the inconvenience created.
- Also, one of the manifestations of egocentrism is the egocentric’s obvious restraint in praising and expressing gratitude towards other people.
An egocentric person is not always also an egoist in the full meaning of the word - these personality types have differences, but we will describe them below.
Self-centered people are so insensitive to the world around them that it often backfires on them - they are more likely than others to be theft in a crowd (queue, transport). Not paying attention to their surroundings, they sometimes do not even feel the approach of danger. Research shows that egocentrism is often inherited.
Egoism and egocentrism: differences
Selfishness is characterized by love for one’s own person and the desire to do something for oneself, while egocentrism is characterized by the fact that a person feels himself to be the center of the Universe. A selfish person is aware of the thoughts, desires and values of other people, but does not take them into account. For an egocentrist, his own point of view seems to be the only possible and correct one. Selfishness accompanies a person throughout his life, while egocentrism is characteristic of childhood, but in other cases it also occurs in adults. Selfishness is condemned by society, although it can also have positive connotations. Egocentrism has no positive interpretations.
The conclusion from all of the above is this: these two terms, which are similar at first glance, are in fact different, and strikingly so.
Definitions
Egoism
Egoism is selfishness, preference for personal interests over public ones. This is behavior that is completely determined by thoughts of self-interest. The term was introduced by French materialists in the 18th century. They came up with the theory of “rational egoism,” arguing that the basis of any virtue is correctly recognized self-interest. Kant regarded this quality as “radically evil.” The word itself comes from the Latin "ego", which means "I". With the beginning of the Enlightenment, the concept in question began to be considered a kind of engine of progress and a sign of the awakening of human activity. And indeed, if ancient people did not care about their comfort, would they have learned to sew clothes from skins, make dishes, and light a fire? In modern society, this term is assessed from a different perspective. It refers to behavior aimed at benefiting oneself at the expense of others. It borders on dishonesty and insulting the dignity of others.
Egocentrism
Egocentrism is the perception of one’s own position as the only one that exists. It is a feature of thinking inherent in children up to the age of 8-12 years. Sometimes it can persist in adults, gradually progressing over the years. This concept was introduced into psychology by the Swiss philosopher Jean Piaget. He conducted a number of experiments that clearly demonstrated children's egocentrism. Based on the results, it was noted that the child simply cannot put himself in someone else’s place, he is focused only on his feelings and experiences. It is worth noting that, contrary to popular belief, egocentrism is not at all a form of selfishness. But meanwhile, it is quite capable of serving as the basis for the emergence of conflicts based on the individual’s inability to distinguish the needs of others.
About the behavior of an egocentric
Such a person sincerely believes in his point of view and considers it the only correct one. A self-centered person is not even aware of the existence of different opinions. Rejection can be caused by psychophysiological and social reasons. An egocentric person is only interested in his personal beliefs, emotions and feelings. Due to the fact that such an individual is fixated solely on himself, he simply does not notice other people around him.
This behavior leads to frequent conflicts. It is noteworthy that there is no such thing as a “close person” for an egocentric person. This type primarily views the people around them as pawns. They are toys and things for him, and in the center - he is the only one.
If a self-centered person comes across a different point of view, he will begin to convince and teach everyone. In a group, such a person thinks that those around him are only doing things to spite him.
Our days
Of course, today the concepts of morality and spirituality have not devalued, but they are consciously cultivated much less often, especially among representatives of the younger generation. Nowadays, the word selfishness is used more often with a negative emotional connotation. Nevertheless, as experts are convinced, it must, within reasonable limits, be inherent in modern man. It is not worth denying egoism, but it is also not customary to extol it, and therefore an intelligent individual will carefully hide and disguise this quality of his.
