“I can’t stand people, only in small doses”: the whole truth about introverts

Probably, surrounded by everyone there is a person who lives in some kind of special world. He is reluctant to communicate, although he is kind and sympathetic. He doesn't go to corporate events, and you can't force him to speak in public. He looks for any convenient moment to retire. Usually this is a reliable friend, a conscientious worker, a faithful spouse. You just need to get used to his silence, shyness and tightness. You shouldn’t put labels on him like “autist”, “wild”, “strange”, etc. It’s all about a special psychological type of personality: he is an introvert, and he cannot live otherwise.

General characteristics of an introvert

The first description of two radically opposite types of people belongs to the famous psychologists Jung and Eysenck.
They distinguished extroverts, as people focused on the external world, and introverts, as people focused primarily on the phenomena of internal life. Therefore, to the question: who is an introvert, we answer that this is a person for whom his thoughts, fantasies, reasoning are much more important than the real events occurring in life. An extrovert (antonym for the word “Introvert” - editor’s note) is in the thick of things. He first perceives signals from reality, and then turns them into thoughts and impressions.

The peculiarity of an introvert is that for him the background of his internal state is primary and what is happening around him, he perceives not directly, but through a prism, as if looking out of a window. “At home” he is only alone with himself, with others he is always “away”. And when visiting, we are always tense, we monitor our words, actions, and other people’s reactions, and this tires us.

Extroverts like to experience more, introverts like to know more about what they are experiencing. Marty Olsen Laney. The Invincible Introvert

What should an introvert do?

An introvert sometimes also has a hard time because of who he is. Psychologists give him recommendations on how to use his character traits to their full potential.

  1. Warn those you interact with in advance that you are an introvert. This will help avoid many awkward situations.
  2. At work, set aside half an hour for informal communication. The rest of the time, wear earplugs or headphones.
  3. The Internet is your territory. Design your social media pages to make it easier for people to understand you.
  4. Make all appointments and their time frames in advance. After all, you can’t be in public for long.
  5. Sit sideways to the interlocutor so that eye contact is not direct - it will scare you and take a lot of energy.
  6. Can't cancel the party? Offer your hosts help around the house or take photographs of guests.
  7. Practice a responsible speech for a report or interview. Prepare in advance.
  8. Your hobbies are your strength, an additional source of energy. Develop in the direction you choose. Achieve heights. Look for like-minded people. Don't give up creativity and art - they were created especially for you.
  9. Learn to trust people gradually, although it is difficult. Find 2-3 people with whom you feel comfortable.

Introvert - character traits

  • Communication is not spontaneous, but always has a clear, defined goal, even if it is not visible from the outside. You always feel tension with an introvert, even if the person seems open and emotional to you.
  • They can live painlessly for a long time without company.
  • They clearly maintain the boundaries of their personality. It manifests itself in immediate transactions of the interlocutor returning to the starting position, increased sensitivity and temper.
  • They think through their actions carefully.
  • Secondary type of reaction to an event: they “chew” an unpleasant situation for a long time, constantly returning their thoughts to it.
  • Developed fantasy and imagination.
  • Observation, penchant for analysis.
  • Patience.
  • Control over emotions.
  • Determination.

Features of communication

Self-directed introverts have difficulty establishing contacts. Therefore, the features of their communication must be kept in mind:

  • limit your social circle to a minimum;
  • they don’t immediately let you in;
  • distrustful;
  • do not like surprises;
  • react sharply to inattention from others if they begin to open up;
  • stingy with emotions;
  • do not take the first step in a relationship;
  • do not like too intrusive questions;
  • In their partners, they tend to notice well-reasoned statements and accuracy of reasoning, since they value the interlocutor precisely for his intelligence and analytical abilities.

How to communicate with an introvert:

  1. Make appointments in advance. Moreover, it is better if they take place on its territory.
  2. Do not expect an instant reaction to current events and your words. Give time to think and make a decision.
  3. Show that you are interested in him.
  4. Think through every word. Don't talk too much. Don't gossip. Empty talk about nothing irritates him.
  5. Take the first steps towards it yourself.
  6. Be sincere.
  7. Don't take you out of your comfort zone.
  8. Do not regard his silence as detachment and indifference.
  9. Don't raise your voice.

Main features

An introvert is closer to loneliness

This concept was first discovered by the Swiss psychologist Carl Jung. In a general way, he defined an introvert as a person with interests aimed at external objects of the surrounding world.

Introvert in life

An introvert loves a secluded lifestyle, solitary behavior, in which he feels great.
According to many people with this personality type, they often feel ashamed of who they are, often wanting to become someone else. It is difficult for such people to explain their position, choosing the right words. And in particular, it is more difficult to believe that inherent traits remain a part of yourself when those around you have a different understanding and view of the world. In a word, an introvert is unlikely to be understood by someone who is not one.

These characteristics and characteristics are more characteristic of stable introverts. Stable introverts include phlegmatic people. Phlegmatic is a strong, sedentary type of temperament. Outwardly, these people are difficult to distinguish from extroverts. They can be quite sociable, easily make contact, cheerful, and their speech is distinguished by subtle humor.

You can understand that you are an introvert only by strictly maintaining a distance (you constantly feel a line that cannot be crossed) and by your reaction to stress. Under stress, stable introverts turn silent. They “digest” the problem within themselves and need peace. It's quite difficult for loved ones.

Introvert - features of upbringing in childhood


Introvert in childhood
The character traits of an introvert depend on upbringing and self-esteem. Extroverted parents try to make their child their own. They consider natural isolation, shyness, and a tendency to think for a long time about their actions and deeds as character flaws.

Children try to meet requirements, try to “correct themselves,” behave against their nature and thereby exhaust the nervous system. Low self-esteem, self-doubt and a negative self-image are formed. Throughout their lives, improperly raised introverts may consider themselves “freaks” because they do not have access to the ease of communication of extroverts and they will never be able to become like their parents with a different personality type.

An introvert’s personality will only be harmonious when he:

  • We accept our parents and loved ones with all the peculiarities and cockroaches.
  • It is brought up not by the “break” method, but by the method of pre-development of missing character traits. He learns to communicate, make contact, and competently protect his borders.
  • Has opportunities to restore energy: his own room, personal time and space for reflection and solitude.

What is introversion in psychology?

The official definition is that introversion is an inward movement, from the Latin word intro. The exact opposite is called extraversion. Introverts are in the study of their own inner world, they are always immersed in it. Extroverts, on the contrary, are in constant search for answers to their questions from the outside; they study the external world, devoting less time to their own universe. Carl Gustav Jung began to use the division into psychotypes. It was he who introduced these concepts into scientific psychology.


Carl Gustav Jung

His follower was Hans Eysenck, who also contributed to the development of psychology as a science.


Hans Eysenck

Introversion in psychology is, in the popular sense, isolation of oneself from society. For some reason, introverts are deprived of the opportunity to satisfy their needs with the help of the outside world; they find resources within themselves.

Introversion implies problems with communication. In the process of their formation and growth, extroverts have learned to interact more successfully with the people around them and, in simple terms, they have an easier life among people.

Literally, a special “organ” in our brain is responsible for this. The so-called reticular formation. It is she who is responsible for stimulating (irritating) the cerebral cortex. In some people, this physiological formation is better developed from birth than in others. They are the ones who become introverts. We can say that all the processes necessary for awareness occur inside the head, and such people do not need to communicate with someone in order to develop successfully.

In extroverts, this “organ” is less developed and works differently. In this case, external stimuli are needed to stimulate brain activity. Gradually, a growing child develops the habit of receiving them from the outside, from other people. They need communication to stimulate the cortex, therefore, to become aware of themselves and the world around them. They require closer and continuous contact with the outside world and society.

These physiological characteristics do not in any way affect the size of intelligence and are within normal limits. These are just our individual characteristics. In addition to introverts and extroverts, there is a third type - ambiverts. It is generally accepted that such people are the majority and their reticular formation develops according to a given pattern, while the other two types of people deviate slightly from the given development in one direction or another.

Introvert in relationships


Marriages of mutual introverts are very strong

Psychologists dream: if only all married couples were made up of extroverted men and introverted women, a worldwide idyll would ensue. A strong, authoritative husband and a soft, submissive wife are the recipe for conflict-free family happiness. It becomes unclear what to do with introverted men and extroverted women?

It's unclear and unnecessary. Because family happiness and healthy relationships are influenced by completely different parameters than introversion or extroversion. An extroverted woman may try to take power into her own hands, but an introverted man will find his own ways of influencing his active spouse. Silence is a simple and effective method that will drive any extrovert crazy.

Two introverts in a family will understand each other and will be able to agree on a reasonable distribution of responsibilities. But only if they understand and recognize their characteristics.

Introvert and extrovert.

Despite their opposing qualities, the “introvert-extrovert” has every chance of success. However, for such a couple (friends or lovers) to do well, both parties will have to compromise.

Introverted individuals do not always like the lifestyle of extroverts; they are not always ready to share it. However, such people rarely judge their socially active acquaintances. An introvert will likely try a few of an extrovert's habits to please them. Or to learn something new about yourself.

But the “introvert-introvert” will have to look for external stimuli, common interests and reasons for spending time together. Otherwise, these will be two strangers living in the same apartment. They will become uninterested in each other, since everyone will be busy only with their own self-development.

Jobs for introverts

The main thing for an introvert is to choose the right profession.
Working with introverts is not easy. They are perfectionists, workaholics and demand the same from others. As managers, they are very strict. When it comes to working in a team, introverts prefer (and even choose) a team with a small number of colleagues. Small groups allow you to feel “like a fish in water,” which will definitely affect the result. In carrying out their duties, introverts try to remain responsible until the end.

Deep introverts prefer working from home. Emotionally unstable introverts are good at creative professions. The advantage of this type is involvement in one's business and responsibility.

Profession for an introvert

A good profession for a typical introvert is one that does not require “stress resistance.” Working for a boss who can suddenly throw in work or ask him to work on weekends is not suitable and will weaken his psyche. It is not recommended for introverted types to work in places where constant contact with people is required (personal or by telephone), for example, in the service sector, in a support service.

Suitable for introverts:

  • work from home, freelancing, intellectual work, scientific activity;
  • work on shift (including in a remote place - as a lighthouse keeper)
  • professions of programmer, florist, librarian, veterinarian, engineer, driver, creative professions.

Types of introverts

Logical-Intuitive introvert (Robespierre)

  • Has a strong analytical mind.
  • Capable of developing new revolutionary methods.
  • Loves solitude and quiet office work.
  • Unpretentious and ascetic.
  • Doesn't take care of himself.
  • Feels calm in a place well protected from prying eyes.

Logical-Sensory Introvert

Finds his holy grail among thousands of others.
This type of introvert defines a goal for himself, analyzes known methods, ways to achieve the goal, and unerringly chooses the best one.

He hones the chosen method of achieving the goal to perfection and achieves success. It is a priori impossible to lead him off this path.

Logic-intuitive-rational

- lives according to a schedule. He has complete order everywhere: in life, at work, in relationships and on the shelf in the bathroom. The only trouble that can throw a rational person out of balance is the appearance of free time. He takes into account human sloppiness, but if the trolleybus arrived 5 minutes earlier, where should those extra five minutes go? The material world rests on logic. Rationals respect only facts; they calculate, calculate and build everything.

Irrational-Logic-Intuit

– this is a person for whom the words “order” and “punctuality” turn into a complete nightmare. He doesn’t like chaos either, but he can’t do anything about the chaos in his life and around him. Irrational is pure energy and emotion. Plans are always impossible for him. If the irrational fulfilled the plan by 60%, this is the best result of all possible. The mission of irrationals is to generate ideas. They do not accept rules and therefore easily go beyond the boundaries. Everything new in the world comes from irrationals.

Emotionally unstable introvert

These are people with obvious signs of maladjustment in society.
They experience unbalanced emotions, low self-esteem, timidity, self-doubt, and hysteria. An introvert is a person who, in a minute, can imagine an unpleasant situation and its catastrophic consequences. To the real state of affairs, he adds fantastic details that enhance the negative connotation of the event, and does not realize that these are just probabilities.

Introverted girl: what is she like?

Belonging to the weaker sex greatly complicates the life of an introvert.
An introverted woman is forced to engage in a huge number of interactions. The female social role of mother and wife itself does not imply seclusion. The child must be taken to the clinic, playground, kindergarten or school. This depletes mental strength and requires additional recovery time.

Unstable introverts are people with extraordinary charm

A high level of emotionality, subtle sensitivity to detail, observation and a sharp mind help them literally get under the skin of other people.
But they are not able to follow the entire huge body of social rules. Partly due to the fact that they simply do not understand them or because they are not capable of a quick reaction and instant analysis of the situation. They are considered lovable psychos. Among unstable introverts there are many famous actors and simply bright personalities. On the one hand, they need peace and care, on the other, they crave recognition and approval. Unstable introverts are capable of antisocial shocking behavior. The famous trick of Marilyn Monroe, when she congratulated President Kennedy on his birthday almost topless, is just from this series.

Features of an unstable introvert

According to Eysenck's concept, an emotionally unstable introvert is a melancholic person.
To the previous characteristics for this personality type should be added:

  • High sensitivity to negative stimuli.
  • Suspiciousness, tendency to negative forecasting, dramatization of events.
  • Self-doubt, low self-esteem, timidity.
  • “Blurring” of personality boundaries.
  • They do not tolerate prolonged loneliness well and are dependent on social contacts.
  • Fatigue, nervous system rigidity.
  • Stiffness.
  • Bad or inappropriate jokes.
  • Emotions are poorly controlled.

All types of temperament are considered innate, but some psychologists express an opinion about the artificial origin of the melancholic temperament. There is a hypothesis that a weak type of nervous system is formed as a result of improper upbringing and psychotraumatization in early and teenage years.

A stable introvert in an extroverted world is lucky and successful


Friedrich Nietzsche is an introvert.
He does not waste time on trifles, does not give in to momentary emotions, and steadily follows his goal. It can be compared to a boa constrictor. If the boa constrictor’s “thermal imager” has detected and selected a victim, nothing can save it. It is impossible to interrupt the path of a stable socialized introvert to his intended goal. “I see the goal, I don’t see the obstacles” - that’s about them.

Extroverts retreat and give up after a few unsuccessful attempts. They can be overcome by emotions of despair and disappointment. It is difficult for them to get out from under the rubble of broken hopes. An introvert will simply analyze the mistakes and move on. This is its undeniable advantage.

Pros of being an introvert.

Intelligence and genius

Thanks to their patience, curiosity, and desire to understand the meaning of everything around them, introverted people are distinguished by their sharp minds. Many also have a well-developed imagination and creativity. They are more independent , so they study topics that interest them better and more deeply.

What they dream about now will become reality in the future. They tend to analyze details and plan ahead. They value stability and reliability in everything.

Loyalty in any relationship

Introverts become attached for a long time, but strongly. These people are faithful in friendship, marriage, and devoted to the team. If they choose someone, they try their best to please. Being among those closest to you, you open up from a completely different side. They are cheerful, active, sociable, and often joke.

Self-development is important to introverted people, so they will try to become even better. This will also affect relationships.

Tact

Politeness, tact, and good manners are an integral part of introversion. If introverts start behaving badly, there is a good reason for it. They never start quarrels from scratch and try to resolve conflicts peacefully.

Personal space is very important for an introverted person, so he respects other people's space. He often says the words “sorry”, “please” and is afraid of offending others. An introvert, despite paying attention to his inner world, thinks about the feelings of others. He is unobtrusive and knows how to listen to his interlocutor.

Weak dependence on other people's opinions

Introverts do not ignore social norms, but they are accustomed to thinking and making decisions for themselves. This has a positive effect on their internal balance, since they know what they want. If you need impartial advice, you can immediately look for an introvert.

It is people of this type who more often find their “calling” - work and hobbies. This is one of the reasons why they are so confident in their loved ones - they chose them themselves.

Is it difficult for an introvert to be himself?

You often hear a series of seemingly harmless questions: “Why don’t you want to go to the party?”
or “Why do you look so unhappy?” But sometimes it is very difficult to give an answer. However, this does not mean that introverts cannot have fun or have fun in the middle of a crowd. They just want to do it around the right crowd, the right people who are like them, and most often in a quieter environment.

If you're an introvert, don't take the missed opportunity to be the center of attention personally. And remember a few simple things that distinguish a true introvert (see below).

Test

You can take the introvert test and find out whether you belong to this psychotype.

If you get more positive answers to questions from group A, you are a pronounced extrovert. If you answered “yes” more often than “no” to questions from group B, you are an introvert. If the number of affirmative answers in both is approximately the same, you are an ambivert who exhibits characteristics of both types.

Enjoyment of solitude, hostility of crowds

Yes, introverts love to spend time with themselves
. It is a proven fact that they get the maximum benefit from it. This gives you a chance to gather your thoughts and strength. Such solitude allows you to focus on things that introverts would like to do - for example, read, evaluate the past day in order to draw conclusions for the future. As a rule, introverts use their free time everywhere, but more often they need quiet places for privacy.

Large crowds of people make introverts feel tired. They cannot be surrounded by a crowd for long.

Even when they attend concerts, parades or other social events, they do not look far ahead, so as not to feel like they are in the center. Over a long period of time it becomes unbearable. Introverts have to suppress their emotions, and often such people want to scream or cover their ears. Of course, the rules of behavior do not allow this; the introvert will try to quickly retire to a calmer place.

An introvert is a person who, in a few minutes, can build a logical chain of illusions in his head and become depressed because of it.

Features of the introverted psychotype

Age

An introverted child has the following qualities by which he is easily recognized among his peers:

  • he has a bright and rich inner world;
  • deeply feels others, tries to figure out why the person is feeling bad, tries to help;
  • never acts spontaneously and at random, at first he analyzes everything and asks for advice;
  • quiet and secretive, does not trust even close relatives;
  • it is difficult for him to adapt to kindergarten and school; it is much more convenient and comfortable for him to study at home;
  • he may not have friends;
  • refuses to go out to guests and does not like noisy feasts and games;
  • diligent, attentive, listens well, strives for knowledge - he has no problems with studying.

How should parents behave?

  1. Prepare in advance for all changes.
  2. Do not force him to communicate with anyone if the child does not want to.
  3. At the same time, instill values ​​such as communication, mutual assistance, and friendship.
  4. Give him your own secluded corner, do not violate his personal space. Allow yourself to be alone with yourself.
  5. After noisy events, do not bother with questions: first give time to recuperate.
  6. Be in constant contact with the educator and teacher in order to correct any situations that arise in the children's team.
  7. Develop creatively, as such children discover talents in some art.

A properly raised introvert grows into a very interesting and successful person.

Gender

Introverted man:

  • prefers a quiet home environment;
  • conservative;
  • loves to read (draw, write poetry);
  • stingy with emotions;
  • does not often declare his love and shower him with compliments, but proves his feelings with his actions: gives flowers and gifts, arranges a romantic dinner, does not cheat;
  • smart, deep;
  • an ideal husband who will never betray and will always be there if you understand him and don’t let him down;
  • easily loses his temper due to loud screaming, noise, laughter and stupid actions;
  • can't stand noisy parties.

How to deal with an introverted man:

  1. Never lie.
  2. Don't push, don't be rude, don't shout, don't make scenes or hysterics.
  3. All problems can be resolved exclusively through conversations - delicately and calmly.
  4. Listen to the end.
  5. Do not demand ostentatious feelings.
  6. Don't force him to go to events where there are a lot of people.
  7. At home, gather only those closest to you.

Here's what an introverted woman is like:

  • if a man of the same type can pretend that he feels good in society and smile at everyone, then a woman in this regard is more closed, she goes deep into herself in public;
  • clearly observes chain of command;
  • does not forgive himself for mistakes;
  • has a hard time experiencing betrayal, betrayal and any defeats;
  • has a wild and irrepressible imagination: he can paint the walls of the house with Van Gogh’s paintings or make his own film at home;
  • often throws himself headlong into loneliness, goes into seclusion, without explaining anything to anyone;
  • rarely admits her feelings, but is very loyal.

When communicating with her you need to adhere to certain rules:

  1. Do not violate personal space.
  2. Do not impose your ideas and opinions.
  3. Be attentive and delicate.
  4. If you don’t give her a choice, she will accept forced capitulation, and the relationship will deteriorate.
  5. Establish emotional contact.

If you understand the subtle and vulnerable soul of introverts, they become the most faithful and devoted spouses.

Love for others

Despite their behavior, which is atypical for many, introverts have warm feelings for those around them.
It seems that they are cold, and therefore do not perceive the warm energy of their interlocutor. Be patient. Give these people some time to get used to you. For the most part, they want to get to know you better and enjoy your company, even if they don't show it openly. Introverts are big fans of getting to the bottom of the truth. They are ready to look for meaning in the most insignificant little things, sometimes thereby causing irritation. If someone treats the problem more superficially, then such introverts will find their own reason for everything.

At the same time, they prefer to be surrounded by fewer people whom they have already studied on a deep level. In other words, every new acquaintance entails a lot of analysis. For this reason, introverts make friends in small groups, knowing everything there is to know about each other.

Excellent listeners, introverts draw information from the interlocutor if he is willing to open up. This is seen as an additional chance to get to know a new person. As a rule, they are ready to get really carried away by it. And they often get irritated by little things, if these little things prevent them from devoting full attention to their interlocutor.

Tests to find out your psychotype

I found 3 tests for you:

  1. Determination of character type according to Jung. Answer 20 questions, where you choose one of two options. If your scores are in the middle, and this is 35–65 points, then you still fall into 35% of people with traits of extroversion and introversion.
  2. Test to determine Eysenck's temperament type. This test has 60 questions that will help you determine your temperament type, extroversion or introversion. Travel time is approximately 5 minutes.
  3. Test “Who are you: extrovert, ambivert or introvert.” You need to answer 8 questions. I took this test and found out that I am an ambivert. A very convenient and quick test, a kind of express diagnostics.

Introverts are connoisseurs of beauty

Introverts have a sense of taste.
They know how to have fun and are not boring at all! They just want to save emotions for the right people or events that, albeit rarely, happen in their lives. They are capable of silly things, blessed with creativity, and can be loud. Show up at karaoke and sing a song in front of everyone? No problem! But, of course, you can get more pleasure from reading your favorite book. The character of an introvert always remains a conscious thing for him. They understand what niche they occupy in society, sometimes dreaming of becoming extroverts - more relaxed, free, simple. Often indulging in thought, they imagine how they will find themselves in a large group of people, what they will do, how they will behave. It’s not difficult to fantasize in your head, but putting your plans into practice is not easy. And yet, daydreaming about how to become an extrovert is acceptable.

If you invite an introvert to a party, don't expect him to have fun. A huge number of people is not a pleasure for them. Even when there is a really good atmosphere around, the feeling of discomfort will not go away. This does not mean that such people are not interesting or do not know how to relax. It is quite difficult to remain yourself in front of a large crowd of people.

For an introvert, it is important not only to live calmly during the day, but also at night. Many people like to stay from Friday without leaving the city. You can go to a meeting with friends or even a party, but it would be foolish not to take advantage of the opportunity to be in silence. When you live in a city, it's hard to escape the crowds and noise. Therefore, the best way would be a good book or an interesting film.

Because of this, the reluctance to be in the spotlight is quite understandable. Introverts don't like public speaking when hundreds of eyes are on them. Difficulties also arise at work when you have to speak at a meeting or answer in the presence of others. It’s more pleasant to become a listener and hear someone else’s point of view. But this does not mean at all that there is no opinion.

Myths about introverts

Unsociability

In fact, introverts are sociable - they just don’t like noisy companies, preferring one-on-one meetings.

Failure to Lead

On the contrary, introverts, with their ability not only to listen, but also to hear and perceive other people's ideas, as well as make informed decisions, are very good leaders. However, negotiations are not their strong point, but in many other areas of activity introverts show themselves to be excellent leaders.

Introverts are smarter than extroverts

This cannot be said. They just have different minds. Extroverts are more effective in stressful situations, when you need to make quick decisions on many issues, and introverts show better results when perseverance, perseverance and hard work are required.

Tell about yourself, learn about others

Who doesn't like to brag about their achievements?
Talking about success is inherent in human behavior. Introverts tend to get to know their interlocutor to the extent that this will allow them to talk about themselves in the future. Well-read and literate, they can support the conversation with valuable advice. At the same time, they are afraid if they are considered too talkative, so they always maintain balance. People who want a sincere relationship. In life you have to deal with lies and betrayal, and feel broken. Loving an introvert means being honest with him from day one. In turn, they will not open up right away, first “testing the waters,” that is, getting to know you. This may take some time, so be patient. You will be rewarded later - communicating with introverts will bring you pleasure.

Advantages and disadvantages

It is rare to meet an introvert who would be happy with this feature of his. Usually people are very worried about her and secretly envy extroverts.

This is no wonder. Indeed, in the modern world, in order to succeed, you need to have pronounced extroverted traits: sociability, determination, high stress resistance, dominance. It seems as if there is simply no place for introverts. By the way, according to modern data, they are only about 20% of the total population of the Earth.

However, it is not. Introversion, like any other phenomenon, has its advantages and disadvantages. If you properly develop your strengths and compensate for your weaknesses, you can achieve incredible heights in life.

Let's start with the advantages - there are not so few of them:

  1. Introverts are efficient, neat, and responsible. They tend to finish everything they start. This makes them good employees.
  2. They are distinguished by high creativity, unconventional thinking, and often have outstanding talents.
  3. There are a large number of geniuses among introverts.
  4. In interpersonal relationships, they are distinguished by devotion, reliability, sensitivity, and the ability to empathize. In communication partners they tend to notice even the most minor changes in mood, understatement, and easily read the state of their interlocutor.
  5. Introverts are self-sufficient and easily tolerate isolation from other people.
  6. As a rule, they have more developed intuition than extroverts and ambiverts.
  7. They are highly trainable. At school they are often excellent students.

And now about the disadvantages:

  1. Communication problems can lead introverts to social anxiety.
  2. They are divorced from reality and live in their own fictional world. They have their head in the clouds while their lives fall into desolation.
  3. Self-doubt and low self-esteem are frequent companions of introversion.
  4. They are suspicious and often attribute to people a negative attitude towards themselves.
  5. They adapt less well to new conditions.
  6. Introverts have difficulty with self-realization because they prefer to be in the shadows.

Don't take shortcomings too seriously. As I already said, their manifestations can be significantly compensated. To do this, you only need a strong desire and active work on yourself.

Let's summarize. Introverts are subtle and creative people who are characterized by high sensitivity and all facets of experiences. They must focus on developing precisely these qualities.

Their weaknesses are associated with the inability to resist negative thoughts and experiences, low resistance to stress, and poor self-regulation. Introverts need to work on increasing self-esteem, reducing anxiety, and developing positive thinking.

Attention to detail and the interlocutor


“Can we shut up already?”

A person can be so busy with everyday activities that many things pass him by. An introvert is less likely to miss minor details. And if the problem has been solved or solved in another way, they are ready to offer an alternative option. Moreover, they rarely dare to say this out loud, but they always keep the options in mind. Studies of this type of people show that they can be good leaders.

When communicating with a person, an introvert will try to understand him as much as possible. Even if the point of view turns out to be the opposite, he will make every effort to look at the picture from a different perspective. And it will almost never make your interlocutor feel inferior or guilty - before judging, you will have to thoroughly analyze all the pros and cons.

People often assume that introversion and shyness are necessary allies. And although there is a lot in common between the concepts, this is far from true. An introvert is not afraid to meet people, he does it in his own way.

But if a partner has a high level of energy, he has every chance of tiring his interlocutor. It is important to constantly feel the balance in which both people are. If the first one tends not to feel tired, then the second one will need a short break. The best option is to interrupt communication for a while.

How difficult is it for a person to take a step forward? Yes, there are people who rush into battle without thinking about the consequences. An introvert will always weigh all potential outcomes before making a decision.

Sometimes this process is delayed so much that the need to make a choice disappears. The only wish in this situation would be to analyze as little as possible, although this is problematic.

What kind of job is suitable for such people?

Choosing a profession is, in principle, very difficult. And when you need to adapt to your psychological personality type, complete confusion sets in.

As I said above, introverts get very tired from too much interaction with people. But they are extremely collected and responsible, distinguished by logical thinking. With such skills, it is not difficult to choose a profession to your liking, which will not tire you and bring you pleasure.

  • work from home;
  • copywriting, writing activities;
  • working with databases;
  • accounting;
  • analytics;
  • design;
  • IT sphere;
  • laboratory;
  • the science;
  • creation.

These areas to some extent provide an opportunity to demonstrate inner qualities. Some of the above require extreme concentration, while others allow you to work in a calm, familiar and comfortable environment. If you noticed, all of the above has practically nothing to do with people. An introvert will not need to force himself to constantly communicate with unfamiliar clients. He will do his job without any stress.

How to find common ground with an introvert?

Just be kind and respect the inherent need for this type of person to be alone.
Not only extroverts, but also other introverts sometimes feel awkward around quiet and vulnerable introverted individuals. They are probably worried about the question: “Is it really necessary to constantly restrain yourself so as not to offend this person?” We all want to be relaxed and natural, but relationships flow more smoothly if we take each other's needs and interests into account.

The following suggestions from The Happy Introvert are for people of all personality types who have to deal with introverts:

Finding a common language with an introvert

  • If you want to talk, ask if this is a good time to talk, instead of assuming it's a given.
  • Often, without clarifying questions, it is impossible to determine whether an introvert is preoccupied with something, is simply lost in thought, or wants to be left alone.
  • Help the introvert relax and feel safe, and show interest in their worldview.
  • Be gentle with an introvert—loud voices and dramatic expressions of emotion can frighten them. He will accept your point of view faster if you do not put pressure or force him to choose, but convey it persistently but tactfully.
  • If the problem is making contact, come up with a creative solution. One option was offered by Dr. Elaine Chernova, an extrovert by nature: “I considered a patient named Bob to be a passive-aggressive introvert, since I had to wait a long time for an answer while he looked around and thought about something, as if not noticing me. Realizing that he wasn't trying to get on my nerves, I started doing other things, forcing him to follow me. He pondered the question for some time and finally came up with an answer. This method of communication suited both of us.”
  • When an introvert wants to be left alone, remember that his nature requires this and he is not trying to get rid of you. For example, let's take the famous actor Anthony Hopkins. Being an introvert, nevertheless, sometimes he can be very sociable, but he prefers to do his favorite things that are not related to acting (playing the piano, composing music and traveling by car) without the company of other people. In one interview, he said: “I usually have enough company with myself.”

    “One is a company, two are already a crowd.” The replica belongs to the hero of Oscar Levant in the film “An American in Paris”

  • Respect the wishes of people close to you with an introverted personality if they want to be alone in difficult moments of life. According to Anthony Storr: “In a culture that believes that interpersonal relationships are the best remedy for all suffering, it is sometimes difficult to convince well-intentioned helpers that not only emotional support, but solitude is also therapeutic.”
  • If you're feeling frustrated that your introverted friend isn't responding emotionally enough to something, try paying more attention to the words, rather than how they're said. Multiply his every expression of emotion by ten.
  • Pay attention to nonverbal signs of affection. Sometimes it is easier for introverts to express their feelings not in words, but in writing or through some kind of action.
  • If one of your introverted friends or relatives withdraws and watches from the sidelines alone, don't think that they are unhappy.
  • Invite your introvert to join in the fun, but don't pressure him.
  • Be careful with the adjectives you use for introverts: perhaps instead of the adjective “passive”, it is better to use the words “shy” and “delicate”. It is also possible that they are not introverted, but that their main interests are not always related to other people. And, most likely, they are not selfish or narcissistic, but simply love to live in their inner world.
  • Let your introvert know that you value them as a person.
  • Remember that neurological differences are at the root of the misunderstanding between introverts and extroverts. Introverts' minds, by nature, are constantly occupied with something (this property is called internal wakefulness), so they sometimes find themselves unable to respond to sensory stimuli. An extrovert is seized with unpleasant anxiety at the slightest irritation, so they are constantly looking for action.
  • Since extroversion is generally celebrated in our society, spend some time praising the positive qualities of introverted behavior.

Introvert and relationships.

A few main characteristics:

  • have weak initiative, but take every step seriously;
  • do not impose their habits and thoughts on their partners;
  • rarely express love with words, but are always ready to help in practice;
  • prefer quality over quantity, strive for intimacy;
  • listen and try to understand their loved one;
  • prone to self-sacrifice, faithful and devoted.

They try to maintain any relationship to the last. However, having already separated, they do not try to restore the connection.

Pros and cons of introverts

Positive qualities of an introvert

  • True to your word.
  • Determination.
  • Consistency.
  • The ability to control your emotional state.
  • Persistence in achieving goals.
  • Perfectionism.
  • Thinking ability and strong analytical skills.
  • Attention to nuances and details.

Weaknesses of an introvert

  • Inflexibility of character. They find it difficult to compromise and do not accept another point of view.
  • Mental rigidity.
  • Dwelling on negative emotions.
  • Poor ability to relax, which can lead to depletion of the nervous system and physical resources of the body.

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WikiHelp: Rigidity - rigidity, hardness, elasticity, inelasticity. In psychology, unpreparedness to change the program of action in accordance with new situational requirements.

Classification of introverts

Based on Jung's teachings, the concept of personality psychotypes was developed, according to which there are 8 types of introverts. Let's take a quick look at them.

The following types are distinguished:

  • Logical-sensory. This type is characterized by determination, perseverance, and prudence. These people are clearly aware of their desires, they calculate and analyze everything in advance.
  • Logical-intuitive. He has an analytical mind and loves a scientific approach. His mind is capable of generating high-quality ideas, but the person is not able to bring them to life. He is friendly, but unemotional, which is why others may seem callous and indifferent.
  • Ethical-sensory. Outwardly calm, but inside him serious passions are raging. He understands people very well, knows how to empathize, has good taste, appreciates harmony and beauty.
  • Ethical-intuitive. An ideological, passionate person. Maybe all his life he has been fascinated by some global idea to transform the world, which he is unable to implement due to problems in communication.
  • Sensory-logical. Pragmatist and individualist. Prudent, economical, relies on common sense in everything. He keeps himself apart from people and doesn’t let strangers get close to him. He does not have a very good command of emotions, so he can flare up in an argument.
  • Sensory-ethical. Values ​​comfort, stability and regularity; it is difficult to take risks. He gets very worried if something doesn’t go according to his plan.
  • Intuitive-logical. Scrupulous, prone to perfectionism, has organizational skills. He makes decisions carefully, carefully weighing all the pros and cons. He is prone to solitude and cannot stand nervous and noisy people.
  • Intuitive-ethical. Romantic, dreamer, subtle connoisseur of beauty. Subject to frequent mood changes. Strives to understand and help everyone who is nearby.

Famous people are introverts (photos, list)


Among the most pronounced introverts are such famous people as (pictured above from left to right):

  • Abraham Lincoln
  • Bill Gates
  • Christina Aguilera
  • Steven Spielberg
  • Nikolai Vasilyevich Gogol
  • Marina Ivanovna Tsvetaeva
  • Victor Tsoi
  • Sergei Sergeevich Bodrov

Below, see a more extensive list of famous and famous people who are introverts.

Great people are introverts (list)

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  • Alfred Hitchcock
  • Arthur Schopenhauer
  • Howard Phillips Lovecraft
  • J. K. Rowling
  • Jerome David Salinger
  • Johnny Depp
  • George Lucas
  • Isaac Newton
  • Clint Eastwood
  • Kurt Cobain
  • Layne Staley (Alice in Chains)
  • Lionel Messi
  • Louis De Funes
  • Marcel Proust
  • Mick Mars
  • Audrey Hepburn
  • Robert DeNiro
  • Rosa Parks
  • Søren Kierkjegaard
  • Steve Wozniak
  • Tim Burton
  • Philip Kindred Dick
  • Franz Kafka
  • Frederic Chopin
  • Friedrich Nietzsche
  • Edgar Allan Poe
  • Igor Yakovlevich Krutoy
  • Alexander Ivanovich Pokryshkin
  • Georgy Mikhailovich Vitsin
  • Joseph Vissarionovich Stalin
  • Konstantin Arkadyevich Raikin
  • Mikhail Yurjevich Lermontov
  • Fedor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky
  • Yuri Nikolaevich Klinskikh (Gaza Strip)

Characteristics

Pronounced introverts are visible to the naked eye. But there are not many of them. People with moderate introversion are more difficult to recognize. I have highlighted a few of the most telling signs.

  • Unsociability, isolation, silence

Communication is difficult for an introvert. He feels uncomfortable in the company of people, especially strangers. He avoids noisy parties and fears public speaking like hell. For him, talking to a stranger on the street is a real feat. People of this type experience stress from telephone conversations, so they prefer to use instant messengers.

In dialogues, they most often take the position of a listener, get lost when they need to speak, and have difficulty choosing words. They tend to “rehearse” upcoming conversations in their heads, so communication with them often looks strained and unnatural. They have a narrow circle of friends, which was most often formed in their youth.

  • Tactfulness, politeness, modesty

Introverts treat other people with respect and do not indulge in unnecessary interactions. They carefully weigh every word, so it is very rare to hear something offensive and unpleasant from them. Being sensitive people, they have a hard time dealing with negativity addressed to them, so they try to make a good impression on everyone. They expect the same from those around them.

  • Restraint in showing emotions

Introverts experience emotions deeply within themselves, but try to express them with restraint. At the same time, they have good empathy and literally “read” the emotions of other people.

  • Slowness, lethargy

In introverts, inhibition processes in the brain predominate, so they are rather slow. They speak slowly, think about other people's words for a long time, and tend to carefully plan their every step. It happens that because of the desire to think everything through, they take a long time to make decisions.

Introvert-melancholic

The phlegmatic introvert personality type was mentioned above. There are also melancholic introverts. They are, surprisingly, quite emotional and insightful. They often have a sharp mind. At the same time, their high sensitivity and suspiciousness are striking.

These are emotionally unbalanced introverts, many of whom are characterized by timidity, stiffness and low self-esteem.

One should expect inappropriate jokes and poor control of emotions from people with this psychotype and type of temperament.

For some reason, introverts in general are most often judged by this type of people, creating incorrect stereotypes. Such introverts most often “twist” themselves, thinking up the situation with some completely absurd thoughts.

The type of introverted-melancholic person with a weak nervous system could have been formed due to incorrect upbringing in childhood, which is described in more detail below. Maybe all the problems really come from childhood?

Childhood

Perhaps whoever said that the root of all problems is in childhood was right. In any case, education plays a huge role in human development. There are important nuances in raising introverted children that parents and/or educators should consider.

Society loves active and cheerful people, so many are trying to retrain their introverted children and instill in them a different model of behavior. All with good intentions, of course. True, no benefit will come from this.

If it is reliably known that a child has pronounced introversion, there is no need to force him to go against nature, because, trying to please the instilled dogmas, he will develop in himself what he does not like. As a result, his emotional background will be very low, literally depressed, and there is no need to talk about happiness. As a result, you can completely raise a person with a crippled psyche, who will not bring any happiness to himself or any significant benefit to society.

It is necessary to raise introverted children not by breaking the psyche, but by gradually developing those character traits that they lack for standard communication with people. Only then will a person ultimately be able to establish contact and defend his personal boundaries.

Introverted children need a space or atmosphere in which they can recharge their energy. One way or another, they will still have to communicate a lot with people, whether they want it or not: in society it is no different. This will entail a significant expenditure of emotional energy. To restore it, you need to create an environment for them in which they will feel comfortable.

Recommendations for introverts

I know from myself that being an introvert is not easy. But you need to accept and love this feature in yourself, then it will sparkle with new colors and become your highlight. Find recommendations on how to come to terms with your anxious nature. I got them from Marty Laney’s book “The Introvert Advantage.”

Live at your own pace

As we have found out, introverts are slow by nature. Vanity and haste lead them into a stupor, prevent them from concentrating, and reduce productivity. To make it clearer, imagine a sprinter and a marathon runner. So, introverts are more likely to be marathon runners. They need to distribute the load evenly, monitor the amount of energy, and not rush anywhere.

Set your own pace of life that allows you to complete all your current tasks without feeling exhausted. Marty Laney provides tips to help you with this:

  1. Keep track of your biorhythms - the ebb and flow of the tides. Try to complete all complex and responsible tasks while at the peak of activity. Leave routine small tasks for the recession period.
  2. Set realistic goals. The attitude of “get everything as soon as possible” can cause you frustration. Focus on what you can do at a given time and gradually raise the bar.
  3. Choose what to spend your energy on. Your energy supply is limited, so you need to clearly prioritize so as not to leave the most important things unattended.
  4. Break large projects into small tasks. Time management will help you with this. Learn time management techniques and choose the one that suits you.

Set personal boundaries

When interacting with the outside world, an introvert wastes energy. Unlike the extrovert who receives it that way. Therefore, it is very important to correctly delineate boundaries so as not to waste energy left and right.

Regulate all contacts with the outside world so that it does not overstimulate or exhaust you. You must very clearly assess your real capabilities.

For example, if you're not in the mood to talk on the phone, don't force yourself out of a sense of duty. Tell your interlocutor that you will contact him later. Otherwise, later you may not have the energy left for more important activities.

Learn to build communication with others so that they respect your uniqueness and do not mistake it for indifference. Refuse to communicate politely and tactfully.

Replenish your energy reserves

Scientists have found that introverts recover longer than extroverts. And all because their receptors perceive neurotransmitters more slowly. Therefore, they need more time to rest.

In addition to getting a good night's sleep, you need to consider taking breaks from work. A time management technique called the Pomodoro method will help you organize them.

Never work to the point of exhaustion! Take a break when your battery charge level is around 20%.

Eat small meals

Due to the peculiarities of the nervous system, introverts digest and absorb food quickly. Have you probably noticed that most of them have an asthenic body type? If you go long periods between meals, your blood glucose levels can drop significantly. This is manifested by severe fatigue, dizziness, and decreased concentration.

It is important to properly organize your diet. You need to eat often - 5-6 times a day - and in small portions. Do not overeat, but also do not make yourself feel very hungry.

Play sports

Introverts often lead a sedentary lifestyle, which only exacerbates their low-energy state. They need physical activity like air, primarily in order to ensure the flow of oxygen to the brain. Otherwise, all cognitive processes will suffer and the quality of work will decrease.

Choose sports that are comfortable for you, start with a light load. Don't forget about pace and regularity. It is better to exercise 2 times a week for 40 minutes than once every 2 weeks for 2 hours.

Dress warmly

Surprisingly, introverts and extroverts differ even in such a parameter as body temperature. Often for introverts it is slightly lower than the usual 36.6 degrees. Therefore, they are more sensitive to cold and freeze faster.

Make sure you always feel warm and comfortable. Dress in layers, carry an extra sweater, and keep your hands warm in your pockets.

Tell people about your specialness

Before I learned that introversion is an innate and unchangeable trait, I tried in every possible way to “erase” this trait from myself. Naturally, this did not lead to anything good. Only when I was able to fully accept it in myself, I learned to communicate comfortably with other people.

It is difficult for an extrovert to understand an introvert. There are few of us, we stand out from the crowd, we seem like black sheep. I often heard people say to me, hey, cheer up, tell me something, stop being silent. There is no need to react to such attacks from strangers. But you can explain to your loved ones the nature of your peculiarity, give them articles to read on this topic. Then they will stop thinking that there is something wrong with you and trying to change you.

Get out of your comfort zone more often

The world around us seems hostile to introverts. Therefore, they often isolate themselves in their own little world and try not to stick their heads out of there. This is the wrong strategy. Over time, the comfort zone will become smaller and smaller until the “hostile” world completely engulfs it.

Therefore, you need to do things that make you feel uncomfortable from time to time: talking to strangers, speaking in public, standing up for your rights. You can afford to act like an extrovert sometimes. Just don’t forget to return to your little world to restore your strength and recharge your battery.

Basic provisions

It’s worth noting right away that there are both obvious, visible to everyone types of introverts, who most often stand against the wall at a party or in a large society prefer to sit in the corner with a book, and implicit ones.

Representatives of the latter are most often thought to have a weak character and cannot communicate normally with people. This is not a completely true stereotype. This statement will be proven further.

It should also be noted that there are no absolute introverts or extroverts in the world. The types of people introvert and extrovert do not meet in their pure form. Everyone has mixed psychotypes, where one prevails over the other.

Behavior in life

Most types of introverts feel more comfortable in solitude, but society rarely likes them. It is much more interesting to follow open and cheerful people who are not shy about showing off their lives. It is a fact.

Therefore, many introverts are ashamed of who they are. This is how society influences them. Some people with pronounced introversion want to become different. It is difficult for them to defend their position, because most people around them have a completely different view of the world.

In other words, an introvert can be truly understood by another introvert.

Phlegmatic introverts

The thoughts described above are typical for various types of introverts, but especially for people with a phlegmatic temperament. Phlegmatic people are strong and immobile emotionally. They are often similar to extroverts: they communicate and make contact just as easily, and have a subtle sense of humor.

You can distinguish an extrovert from a phlegmatic introvert by the distance that a person maintains when communicating. No matter how easily he interacts with his surroundings, he still will not allow those he doesn’t know well to get close to him - this is a feature of introverts.

You can often identify an introvert by their humor. The vast majority of them are characterized by subtle, complex humor.

Phlegmatic introverts react very hard to stress due to their emotional immobility. Instead of making a caustic response or quickly finding a way out of the situation, they may immerse themselves in thinking about what happened to them.

Therefore, it is often difficult for close people to communicate with them.

Phlegmatic introverts are sometimes called stable introverts. It is easier for such people to live in a world where extroversion is preferred. They make contact normally due to the qualities of a phlegmatic temperament and continuously move towards their goal, concentrating on it, thanks to the characteristics of introversion.

They see only the goal; obstacles do not matter to them. It is logical that such people become outstanding personalities. Indeed, many great people were phlegmatic introverts. Kutuzov was a phlegmatic person, like Krylov and Sakharov. Famous football coach Dick Advocaat has this same temperament.

Job

People who have had to work with the introvert personality type know how difficult it is. If an introvert is an ordinary employee, then he is most likely a perfectionist who works tirelessly and expects about the same from his colleagues. If he is a leader, then he is likely to adhere to a strict management style.

Introverts are not attracted to the idea of ​​being part of a huge team (for obvious reasons). They are much more comfortable being part of a small team. Then the efficiency of their work will increase noticeably.

What are the benefits of introverts at work? Many of them try to fulfill their duties conscientiously. Naturally, there are exceptions, but in general, introverts make great professionals due to their ability to concentrate.

There are, of course, people who don’t even need a small team. The ideal workplace is a lonely and quiet room in a private home. For such citizens, the profession of a freelancer will be perfect. In this case, you need to interact personally with people to a minimum extent. Thanks to this, concentration on a specific task will significantly improve, and the result will not be long in coming.

True, before you work as a freelancer and earn a good income, you will have to prove yourself. There is practically no way to achieve this without personal communication. We will have to endure this stage of life.

Another good job option for an introvert would be writing. Expressing your thoughts through text is what people need who don’t really like to show off themselves, who like to live in their inner world (create this world themselves).

The same can be said about the professions of a programmer, accountant, and librarian. The list goes on for a long time.

Professions that suit introverts

If you or your child have to choose a future professional path, be sure to take into account the characteristics of the nervous system.

A number of professions are contraindicated for introverts. This does not mean that they will 100% fail to cope with them. They will simply experience constant stress and be inferior in effectiveness to extroverts.

The most favorable professions:

  • programmer,
  • engineer,
  • accountant,
  • writer,
  • copywriter,
  • translator,
  • artist,
  • editor,
  • librarian,
  • sculptor,
  • florist,
  • laboratory assistant

This is not the entire list, but I think you get the idea. Introverts are suitable for work where they can focus on the process of activity without being distracted by communication.

Personal qualities of an introvert

Reasonableness, thoroughness, the desire to plan and think through everything can also be considered signs of introverts. Although, in principle, representatives of an introverted personality can be very spontaneous, they do not show this quality too often and usually, on the contrary, are a little slow to rise. As a rule, introverts are diligent people who see no problem in doing painstaking, monotonous work.

When communicating, introverts prefer to think things through first and then talk. If such a person finds himself in a company that is too large for him (especially if there are strangers there), the introvert will rather observe than speak or act himself. From the outside, representatives of this personality type seem calm and unhurried; They are not characterized by broad gestures and overly expressive facial expressions. A usually quiet voice can also help identify an introvert.

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