Should men shed tears: 4 non-obvious facts about emotionlessness

Emotions are inherent in all people, they are an important component of our lives, and in our assessments of other people we are largely guided by the feelings they evoke. On the other hand, external manifestations of emotional states create a unique, inimitable image of each person. Emotionality, as a personality quality, is natural and necessary in communication, in professional activities, and in personal life. But excessive demonstration of emotions is tiring and often annoying; it interferes with normal interaction with people and is often a source of conflict. To understand what increased emotionality is associated with, you need to understand the psychology of this personal quality.

Interaction with other people

A little attention needs to be paid to this topic.
The formation of emotional stability depends not only on awareness, reflection and acceptance of your feelings. It is also important to learn to detect all similar manifestations in other people.

Of course, reading other people's emotional reactions is much more difficult. But this is just the beginning. It is enough to remember that we are all human. If one person somehow definitely reacts to a particular situation, why can’t another respond to it in the same way? It is enough to show a little observation and empathy, and over time the skill of understanding other people will come.

Communication will become much clearer and clearer. A person will notice how his connections with people (especially loved ones) are transformed. After all, it is emotions that connect us to each other.

And relationships with other people, it should be noted, directly affect the notorious stability and social success. How exactly? It's simple. The more strong, well-established, high-quality connections a person has, the more stable he is. He simply has people with whom he can share his impressions, be sad or happy, and ask for participation and help. This is support. It strengthens and makes you stronger. And, accordingly, more stable.

The need to constantly defend yourself

An emotionally immature person always feels as if those around him, even the closest people, want to offend him or hurt his feelings.
Therefore, he is always in a defensive position, ready to fight back. In fact, this character trait once again emphasizes the inability of such a person to analyze his life and reluctance to find the truth. Emotionally immature people do not feel that they can trust others. They do not know how to accept constructive criticism and even good advice is always categorically rejected, believing that this is how others are trying to hurt their pride.

Emotional reactions

• Lability is the variability of the manifestation of experiences. They always fluctuate over a fairly wide range (from light sentimentality to hysteria).
• Monotony is monotony, static or no sensory responses to what is happening.
• Responsiveness and empathy - the ability to quickly and flexibly respond to external influences, the ability to put oneself in the place of another, to empathize.
• Viscosity – focusing on a long-term feeling (for example, instead of reacting to the situation, a person returns to old grievances, failures).
• Coarsening is the inability to realize the appropriateness and admissibility of expressing emotions, loss of restraint and delicacy.
• Alexithymia is difficulty in identifying one’s feelings and their expression, the inability to distinguish experiences from physical sensations.
• Rigidity – immobility and limited range of response.

Sometimes a person’s behavior is demonstrative in nature, which is associated with his social functions. That is, people portray a certain involvement and emotionality in a situation that requires it. In this case, they speak of the existence of an emotional action, and not a reaction.

Stubbornness

Reluctance to agree with another person's point of view, devaluation of other people's ideas and lives - all these are traits characteristic of an emotionally immature person. Lack of flexibility and unwillingness to compromise borders on the inability to defend one’s point of view and conduct a constructive dialogue. It is much easier for an emotionally unstable person to take out his aggression on others than to try to understand them.

Changing your thinking

Within the framework of the topic concerning the stability of the emotional state, we need to talk about the fact that without transforming one’s own perception it will not be possible to strengthen this quality.

A person who wants to become “stronger” must realize: if he cannot change circumstances, then he can change the attitude he feels towards them.

Let's say while walking he noticed a dog barking at someone. The person will not become irritated - he will simply pass by, because after 1-2 minutes the barking will stop reaching him. It’s the same with difficult situations. He must stop perceiving them as something that is happening to his personal detriment. They simply have the right to exist.

When a person allows events to go as “planned by Fate,” they just pass by. If he “clings” to everything, the situation gets worse. This is a philosophical approach, it is not close to everyone, but for many it is suitable.

Also, a person’s emotional stability depends on the conditions in which he lives. If he has a naturally reactive type of nervous activity, then it is better for him to lead an intense lifestyle. Without the opportunity to throw out their energy, such a person will be very uncomfortable. And a person’s psyche is stable only when his lifestyle corresponds to his natural predispositions.

It is also very important to systematically unload your nervous system. This is especially important for people employed in jobs that require increased emotional stability (teachers, doctors, entrepreneurs, rescuers, etc.)

d.). Constant pressure has a negative impact on the psyche. The consequence is constant fatigue, nervousness, irritability. This greatly weakens the nervous system. And when any stressful situation happens (even a minor one), a person is unable to cope with it.

Human character types

The human nervous system, which determines his temperament, is responsible for the formation of character. Temperament distinguishes the types of human character. This classification was described by Hippocrates and Galen, doctors from Ancient Greece. Their theory is based on the fact that the character of an ordinary person can be divided into four types:

• a melancholic person
  is characterized by sensitivity, emotionality, and touchiness;
• sanguine
  – love of life, sociability;
• phlegmatic
  – seriousness, poise;
• choleric
  – persistence, nervousness, imperiousness.

Izard's Differential Emotions

The scientist identified the following fundamental experiences:

• Interest. This feeling is directly related to a person’s sociality. Only with him is it possible to acquire new skills, knowledge, skills, and develop physically and mentally.
• Pleasure. It is a kind of synonym for joy. Creates a positive background, a good, cheerful mood. Appears when there is an opportunity to satisfy an important need for an individual. It can increase self-confidence, facilitate the process of establishing communication, and get rid of anxiety and stress.
• Astonishment. A short-term reaction to a collision of the psyche that has just occurred with a certain unexpected event, phenomenon or action.
• Anger. A negative state characterized by the impossibility of getting what you want, failure, or dissatisfaction with someone's behavior. The uncontrollable form is rage.
• Disgust. It arises due to interaction with an object that is unpleasant for the individual. Accompanied by a thirst to get rid of the provoking factor.
• Contempt. It manifests itself in the process of disagreement between people’s beliefs and actions.
• Shame. It is formed due to the inconsistency of certain aspects of the personality with one’s own requirements or public opinion. It is often accompanied by an unpleasant feeling of helplessness.
• Guilt. It arises as a result of condemnation of one’s own behavior. Brings with it repentance.
• Fear. Associated with the awareness of an emerging or imaginary threat to life.
• Grief. Reaction to negative events.

There is also a scale that allows you to determine the prevailing emotional state of an individual.

Face-to-face consultation

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Skype consultation

What are the features and benefits of Skype consultations?

To determine your emotional state, you need to evaluate your current state of health in each column:

1 – absolutely not suitable;

2 – more likely yes than no;

3 – consent;

4 – completely true.

Next, count the sum of points in the lines of the list and calculate the coefficient using the formula:

KS = (C1 + C2 + C3 + C9 + C10) / (C4 + C5 + C6 + C7 + C8)

If the obtained value is >1, then the result is assessed as positive; if <1, there is a negative mood, close to depression.

Emotional type in action

During the consultation, Olga complained about a conflict with a colleague. She herself has only recently joined the company, but has managed to prove herself well and become a senior specialist. Her colleague has been working for a long time, feels free and sabotages his responsibilities. For example, he may go away on business in the middle of the working day, leaving Olga to deal with urgent tasks.

After Olga filled out a questionnaire to determine her emotional type, it turned out that she had a high score (9) on the scale of grasping context and sensitivity to the situation. Olga is very worried about the current conflict. At the same time, the resilience indicator - 6 - indicates an insufficient ability to recover from failures. Every conflict is taken too close to the heart, and because of this, discomfort and uncertainty about the correctness of one’s behavior appear. In addition, Olga’s level of attentiveness is 6 points, which means that it is quite difficult for her to concentrate on the task at hand.

It is very important for Olga to learn to defend boundaries, increase self-confidence, voice wishes and disagreement immediately, and not retreat into internal experiences. Meditation sessions will help her train attentiveness and concentration.

How to develop emotionality

An emotion is a reaction to what is happening, which can be called “here and now.” Emotions manifest themselves at a specific moment and reflect the attitude of the manifesting experience to what is happening. Feelings, on the contrary, have relative stability and constancy and always have an address - the object to which they are directed. Psychologists identify emotions that are called basic or innate. They are named so because they are inherent in all healthy people and appear equally on all continents and in different nationalities. Basic emotions are emotions common to everyone. To date, seven basic ones have been identified: joy (happiness, contentment), anger (anger, rage), fear, sadness (sadness), interest, disgust and surprise.

The ability to express the strength and energy of one’s emotions characterizes emotionality as a personality quality. Many psychologists consider emotionality as one of the main components of temperament. In choleric people, emotionality is characterized by a lightning-fast change of emotions, which also manifest themselves vividly. The emotionality of melancholic people is inside, passions seethe there, the speed of movements of experiences, but the splash out is barely noticeable, insignificant. Sanguine people are slower and more balanced, their emotions are not so violent. The emotionality of phlegmatic people is in complete balance, the birth and manifestation of experiences is not bright.

I think everyone knows the expressions “nothing can penetrate”, “thick-skinned as an elephant”, “cold” and the like. All these expressions indicate a low level of emotional response. Emotionality can be developed.

To successfully develop emotionality, you need to get acquainted with emotions and feelings, identify for yourself those that a person experiences most often, and also observe the behavior and manifestation of emotions, both in yourself and in other people.

Next, it is important to answer the question “what can I change in my behavior?” Emotionality is openness to the world. Psychologists advise to communicate more, because uncommunicative people are usually closed people

You need to try to show emotions with gestures, words, talk about feelings, become more open, smile more often. This makes communication and understanding easier.

It has been noticed that the absence of external manifestations of emotionality does not always indicate the absence of emotions themselves. There are times when, due to the inability to express their experiences (inappropriate, inappropriate, inappropriate, etc.), a person holds them back or, in other words, suppresses them, and an internal accumulation of emotional tension occurs.

Periodic suppression of one’s own experiences negatively affects a person’s health, both physical and mental. Unexpressed emotions threaten an explosion of feelings, which can result in hysteria or an attack of aggression and, undoubtedly, manifest themselves in the body as an increase in pressure due to a rush of blood to the brain, tremors in the limbs, and will also affect the respiratory system.

Emotionality without release is like a dormant volcano, ready to erupt at any moment, and one can only guess what the starting point will be. At any moment, the effect of the last straw will definitely occur and no one knows what the consequences will be. Is it worth it? The danger of an explosion is associated not only with the suppression of experiences, but also with a person’s increased emotionality.

High emotionality is characterized by the rapid onset of irritation and increased response. If you ignore the accumulation of emotions, then a point of no return will come and under such conditions they will take over.

Signs of hypersensitivity

You can understand that you or someone is a hypersensitive person by several signs:

1. Deep, intense, complex and persistent emotions. Such people are unusually lively, sometimes “painfully alive.” They feel everything so acutely that they often cannot cope with the release of emotions, they simply cannot control themselves. Their mood changes instantly. They can feel very good, and five minutes later incredibly bad. They perceive music as wave-like streams that awaken feelings corresponding to the motive - joy or sadness, delight or despondency. The plots of books and films captivate you, and the paintings of great artists bring you to tears.
2. High sensitivity. For hypersensitive individuals, there are practically no people who are mysteries. They see through everyone, recognize intentions and read the moods of others. Plus, such individuals notice every little thing, instantly grasp the meaning, as they say, “see to the root,” not paying attention to the superficial husk. This is not always good. It's hard to control yourself when you see injustice and hypocrisy. It is difficult to adequately communicate with unpleasant people if it is impossible to avoid such communication (for example, with your superiors). This causes torment or even trouble for emotional natures.
3. Rich inner world and developed imagination. Hypersensitive people have dialogues with themselves, have imaginary friends and dive inward, closing themselves off in their own little world. They can live imaginary lives, feeling like heroes of incredible stories. Imagination for them is a lifeline in especially difficult life moments. They hide behind fantasies to make it easier to survive difficulties. Emotional individuals grasp everything on the fly, they quickly collect grains of important information from the world around them, digest them and put the picture together into a single whole. They see the essence of things, not the shell. They persistently try to get to the bottom of their essence. Therefore, they are characterized by ardent self-criticism. They are often dissatisfied with themselves. They are characterized by such qualities as criticality, perfectionism and the “excellent student syndrome.”
4. Indifference to the experiences of others. An empathetic person is what they say about those who read other people’s emotions on a subconscious level and experience them together with the owner. Sympathy, empathy, the desire to share grief or joy with someone, the inability to say “no” are the key characteristics of empaths. Empaths are always hypersensitive, but not every emotional person is empathetic. It is worth talking about who empaths are in more detail, which is done below.
5. Existential anxiety. Emotional individuals are characterized by worries about the global - the transience of time, the finitude of life, the purposelessness of existence and other incomprehensible things. They are annoyed that others do not care about all this and do not think about the future, do not try to leave a mark in history. Therefore, they themselves strive to continuously develop, move forward and worry about how others will remember them.
6. Self-expression in creativity. The emotions of hypersensitive individuals are expressed in creativity. Their products are not necessarily displayed publicly. They can gather dust on the closet and be shown to those closest to you. But even among famous writers, poets, musicians and artists there are a lot of hypersensitive people.

The presence of all or several signs (some may be implicit) indicates a person with increased emotionality and hypersensitivity.

Criteria of feelings

All feelings are characterized by the following criteria:

• valence;
• intensity;
• sthenicity.

Valence

The valence of feelings is understood as their tone, and therefore several types of feelings are distinguished

1. Positive are feelings that give a person satisfaction and create a feeling of satisfaction with what is happening, happiness and joy. An example of such feelings can be sympathy, love, delight, inspiration.
2. Negative feelings are those that create a person’s general dissatisfaction with what is happening and a bad mood. These include: fear, sadness, envy, grief, sadness, anger, resentment, melancholy.
3. Neutral are those feelings that do not directly affect the individual’s actions. This is indifference, surprise, interest.

Intensity

All emotions vary in intensity or strength.

1. Weak emotions appear rarely and accidentally, and they are easily suppressed by other feelings.
2. Moderate emotions are usually controlled by consciousness, but they can also influence other feelings.
3. Strong emotions are difficult to control by consciousness and suppress other feelings.

The stronger a person’s emotion, the stronger its external and physiological manifestations will be. Very strong emotional states can cause changes in the psyche.

Definition

Affect is an irrational experience that a person is unable to control. When in a state of passion, a person completely lacks volitional and conscious control; often this state manifests itself in aggression, numbness or flight.

Pathological affect is a mental disorder that occurs as a reaction to a sudden shock. The characteristics of this condition are: super-intense experiences, distorted perception of reality and impaired consciousness.

Sthenicity

It is well known that the external and internal manifestation of emotions and feelings can be very different. Scientists have proven that emotions and feelings have the same different effect on the human body, affecting metabolism, hormone release, blood circulation and other processes. It turned out that emotions can influence reaction speed, energy level, perception of what is happening, attentiveness and more.

Depending on the effect emotions have on the body, they are divided into:

1. Stenic (active) emotions give us energy and efficiency, activate all life processes (for example, joy).
2. Asthenic (passive) emotional states, on the contrary, put a person into a depressed state, cause a loss of strength and a feeling of fatigue (sadness, disappointment).

Direction is the most important personality trait

Each person has his own internal motivations that determine his life goals and aspirations, explaining the reasons for his actions and actions. The combination of these impulses forms orientation as the most important mental property of a person.

Human activity is always connected in one way or another with the satisfaction of certain needs and is characterized by the manifestation of his attitude towards society as a whole and behavior in a specific social group in particular. Direction is an expression of the personal meaning of human activity, explains why or why the subject performs a certain act.

Being the highest mental property, orientation has an internal structure consisting of:

• goals;
• motives;
• needs.

Needs are characterized by the need for a person to have an object or event; they can be both material and spiritual. To satisfy his needs, the individual is active. Human needs that are not basic, necessary for survival, largely depend on the level of development of society and change throughout life.

Features specific to the needs:

• are aimed at a specific object or activity;
• associated with a certain emotional state (satisfaction or lack thereof);
• characterized by the presence of the will necessary to find ways of satisfaction.

Based on the existing need, a goal is formed - an ideal image of the desired result of actions taken to satisfy it. Being an anticipated result of an activity, an image stimulates a person to act in the right direction and offers him a choice of different ways to achieve what he wants.

Motive serves as the immediate motivation and driving force for moving towards a goal. It is a dynamic process that directly controls the behavior of an individual. The content of motives is determined by the social conditions in which the subject finds himself. First, individual motivations arise, which then come together and form a personal motivational system that controls a person’s behavior with the help of his consciousness and will. Motives can be expressed in simple forms in the form of wants, desires and drives, or in more complex forms, in the form of interests, ideals, attitudes.

Direction can be characterized by the following features:

• significance for society;
• manifestation of a person’s system of life views, attitudes, and beliefs;
• degree of social maturity of the individual.

This implies the importance of understanding direction as a property of a person’s personality. Having knowledge about the orientation of a particular individual, one can predict his behavior in different situations and under different conditions

Structure of the emotional sphere

1. Emotional excitability is the readiness of an emotional response to stimuli that are significant to a person. With increased emotional excitability, emotional reactions in response to weaker external and internal influences.
2. The power of emotions is the energization of activity depending on the satisfaction or dissatisfaction of motives. Some people can experience feelings of such strength and intensity that others are unable to experience.
3. Emotional stability – resistance to the action of emotiogenic factors, control of impulses and drives, patience, leading to stability.
4. Emotional lability is the mobility of emotions, thanks to which a person quickly reacts to changing situations and circumstances, freely leaves some emotional states and enters others.
5. The general emotional orientation of a person is manifested in which emotions are closest to a person, the most desirable and stable, and determines the selectivity of the subject’s attitude towards natural and artistic phenomena, life situations and the people around him.

See also: Volitional sphere of personality

How to become more calm?

Greater emotionality can bring no less difficulties to a person than coldness and detachment. There are no exercises to become less passionate; ordinary common sense will help you here. Excessive expressiveness is appropriate on the stage or in a home environment with people who know you well. But a strong manifestation of your mood and inner experiences will not be approved by your colleagues or boss. “Filter” what and how you say, how you behave.

Become an observer of yourself, as it is even more difficult to transform from a very open person to a reasonable person than the other way around.

Pros of highly emotional people

Of course, a person’s emotional activity is largely determined in childhood and it is very difficult to change it. But human emotional needs are the same. Everyone wants to have fun and enjoy their free time. It’s just that some people prefer a large and noisy company, while others prefer to spend the evening at home listening to their favorite TV series or book.

Emotional people always attract attention. This can be intimidating for introverts, but vice versa for extroverts. But there are definitely advantages to communicating with such people. And here are some of them:

1. They are friendly. With them you can always find a common topic and not experience awkward silence.
2. Love for everything joyful is their distinctive feature. They look for the good in everything, and, oddly enough, they find it.
3. They don't manipulate people. Playing behind-the-scenes games is not their thing. Due to their fast stream of consciousness, they are quite simple-minded.
4. Sincerity. If they think highly of someone, they will tell you. And if they think bad about someone, they will tell you too! This is their nature; keeping thoughts to themselves is not about them.
5. Easy to climb. Trying something new is something they enjoy. After all, new hobbies always cause a storm of new emotions.

results

What is the result of this test technique? Emotional stability can be of four levels:

• High (up to 7 points). The person has a stable psyche. It is unlikely that he is afraid of at least some emotional stress. This is not bad, but it is still recommended to keep your nervous system in the same condition.
• Average (8-9 points). The person is quite balanced and knows how to respond adequately to the vast majority of situations that cause stress. Most people have this level.
• Low (15-20 points). Excessive emotionality distinguishes a person - it would not hurt him to acquire mental self-regulation skills. It might even be worth taking calming herbal remedies.
• Critical (21-25 points). People with this indicator are characterized by an extreme degree of excitability. They have very low psychological defense, and their nerves are “naked.” Tranquilizers are often indicated for such individuals. Many people go to psychotherapists.

Personality emotionality

The structures of the emotional sphere are individual for each person. The individual and personal manifestation of emotions in each individual person is designated by the concept of “personal emotionality.”

Definition.
Emotionality of a person is a quality of personality that characterizes the content, qualities and dynamics of his emotions and feelings.
The substantive aspects of emotionality reflect phenomena and situations that are of particular significance for the subject. They are inextricably linked with the core characteristics of the individual: personality orientation, motivation, value and ideological orientations.

The qualitative properties of emotionality characterize the individual’s attitude to the phenomena of the surrounding world and are expressed in the sign and modality of the dominant emotion. For specific individuals, either positive or negative emotions can dominate. The structure of emotionality may be dominated by one or several emotions at the same time. If the emotion of joy predominates, then such people, as a rule, are cheerful, responsive to any pleasant excitement, calm about negative phenomena, and optimistic. If the emotion of fear dominates, then the person is characterized by depression, isolation, anxiety, nervousness, intense anxiety, and a low emotional background. If the emotion of anger dominates, a person is characterized by aggressiveness, irritability, and excitability.

On the dynamic properties of emotionality

include features
of the emergence, course and cessation
of emotional processes and their external expression.
Among the dynamic properties of emotionality, at least the following three features
:

1. Impressionability

- a person’s ability to perceive various situations as emotional. The same events leave one person indifferent, slightly excite another, and cause strong emotions in a third.

2. Emotional stability

— personality quality, which characterizes the speed of transition from one emotional state to another, is closely related to the temperamental characteristics of the individual.

3. Emotivity

- a personality trait that characterizes the strength of emotional reactions inherent in a person.

Development of emotions

It is impossible to answer unequivocally the question of whether a person’s emotional sphere develops throughout life or not. There are several points of view.

1. According to the first point of view, emotions are innate characteristics of the body

, since they are related to its functioning, nervous, humoral and expressive processes.

2. Another point of view expresses the opposite opinion that the emotional sphere of a person

, like all mental processes,
develops
.

3. Modern research shows that these points of view are compatible with each other

. Elementary emotions, as subjective manifestations of organic states, are truly innate and change little during a person’s life. However, already in relation to higher emotions and feelings, this statement is false.

Development of higher emotions and feelings

occurs as the individual becomes socialized and develops
in several directions
:

Firstly, in the direction associated with the inclusion of new objects, objects, events, and people into the sphere of a person’s emotional experiences.

Secondly, by increasing the level of conscious, volitional control and control of feelings on the part of the individual.

Thirdly, towards the gradual inclusion of higher values ​​and norms in moral regulation: conscience, decency, duty, responsibility, etc.

Further:

4. States of mental tension
Up:
Topic 5. Emotional sphere
Back:
2. Types of emotions

Temperament

Temperament is a set of mental and psychophysiological characteristics of a particular person, which determine the degree of his nervous excitability and are expressed in interaction with the outside world, manifested in his behavior.

Temperament characterizes a person’s personality in the dynamics of his mental activity. The distinctive features of each type of temperament are the characteristics of mental states and processes: their tempo, rhythm, speed and intensity. Temperament is characterized by the degree of activity, emotionality and energy potential of the individual’s psyche.

Activity is manifested either in the energy (swiftness, speed) of the individual, or in the inhibition (slowness, inertia) of his reactions.

Emotionality characterizes the characteristics of the manifestation of emotional reactions, feelings, and moods. There are two aspects of the manifestation of emotionality - in a positive or negative way.

Depending on these characteristics, four types of temperament are distinguished:

1. A sanguine person is a very active, lively, active person with a smoothly changing mood. He quickly reacts to all events occurring in the surrounding reality, is not inclined to dwell on troubles and failures, perceives everything from a positive perspective, and quickly forgets grievances. Sanguine people have expressive facial expressions; they say “everything is written on their face.” If the work interests them, they do it quickly and productively, completely immersing themselves in the process. In the absence of interest, they perform the work superficially, since boredom causes indifference to the task.
2. A choleric person is the same fast, impetuous, passionate person, but unlike a sanguine person, he is extremely unbalanced. This type is characterized by sudden changes in mood, which are accompanied by emotional outbursts, often of a negative nature (irritation, anger). Cholerics tend to get carried away and waste their energy on emotions. Therefore, their unstable nervous system is quickly depleted.
3. A phlegmatic person is a slow, extremely calm person with a stable mood and stable aspirations. Emotions and feelings are almost not manifested outwardly. The same calmness and balance are characteristic of him in any type of activity. He shows enviable perseverance and perseverance in his work - albeit slowly, but he will bring it to the end. Phlegmatic people compensate for slowness with a thorough approach to solving the problem, careful and scrupulous performance of their duties.
4. Melancholic is a personality type prone to constant painful experience of past or upcoming events. He is a very impressionable and easily vulnerable person. Can in his imagination for a long time play out various options for the continuation of events or their future scenarios. Being fixated on his experiences, he reacts little to external circumstances, withdrawing into the inner world, which is the cause of absent-mindedness, forgetfulness and improper performance of assigned tasks.