Few people are interested in the question of how to become evil. On the contrary, lately everyone has been interested in the opposite. Namely, how to become kinder, more tolerant, more loyal to others. Because many of us are surrounded by stress, which then leads to the release of negativity on those who are not to blame for anything at all. But no, some people want to become more aggressive. There are various reasons for this.
Anger and aggression: what's the difference?
According to the definition of psychologists, anger is a feeling that is oversaturated with various negative emotions. Anger is inherent in: anger, strong irritation, ill will and even rage. In this case, a negative emotion is positioned as a reaction to a particular situation, where the binding is a certain object.
Aggression is already a type of activity according to which other people can be harmed: morally and sometimes physically.
Change your focus
Aggression is a very strong emotion that deprives a person of the ability to think objectively. The experience of such an emotion really “breaks the roof” and the aggressive person even forgets about the main thing - what, in fact, we are talking about. Therefore, if you gently but persistently return him to the subject of conversation, he will at least focus on thinking and reasoning.
Here's what you can say:
"All that matters is that..."
“When you and I look back in a few years, we will only laugh at the subject of the dispute!”
Try to make aggressive people laugh. Laughter is a very powerful weapon, proven!
What gives a person anger?
It would seem that what good can such feelings as anger and aggression bring? But you shouldn’t judge these emotions based only on their definition by psychologists. It often happens that a calm character, gentleness and kindness only create problems. The inability to get angry leads to the fact that a person will be rude, forced to do a lot of extra work, taking advantage of his reliability, they can make him guilty without guilt in various situations.
From the above it follows that a person needs a feeling of anger and aggression in order to be able to defend his interests. These feelings can tell the individual that a particular situation is not suitable or necessary for him, and also does not bring any benefit.
Only understanding this problem from the side of personal gain allows us to assert that anger, as a feeling, is sometimes simply necessary. But it is important to remember: you can only benefit from your own anger if you have complete control over yourself. To avoid problems, you should still observe the ethical side, and completely exclude harming other people through your anger.
Don't change anything
Creative people tend to be more receptive to change than others, so if you are this type of person, be very careful in what you do.
We all fear change on some level. The greater the change, the greater the potential impact and the greater the fear.
It tells you that you are going to do things that you are not really familiar with. This means only two outcomes - better or worse.
In fact, there is no middle ground, because even if the conditions are the same, you still put some effort into the change itself, so you have already lost a little.
Why do you dream about dead people, relatives, father?
On the other hand, if you are in a bind with something you are familiar with, you can still work around it because you know the leverage. And in any case, it's not that bad - it could be a lot worse.
Let all the bad feelings accumulate over time, and the cherry on top will appear when you begin to regret not changing things when the opportunity arose.
We tend to regret what we don't do more than what we do do, so this tactic will be a good boost to achieving results.
What can uncontrolled anger turn into?
Before getting an answer to the question “how to become angry?”, you need to clearly understand that this emotion must be used skillfully. Excessive anger and uncontrolled aggression can have the opposite effect: a person will lose the respect of others, good relationships with friends, they will begin to be avoided and feared. Instead of achieving goals, building partnerships, participating in discussions and defending their interests, a person alone will reap the fruits of his uncontrollable emotions.
Awareness of the problem of irritation within yourself
If you often experience anger and irritation, seemingly out of the blue, try asking yourself a few questions:
- Is it the person's fault that you are irritated? Perhaps the interlocutor simply cannot formulate his thought correctly and does not want to upset you at all. Try to listen and understand what the person who you think has offended you wants to convey to you. This is better than immediately breaking down and taking communication in a negative direction.
- Doesn't the reason lie with you? Increased irritability can be a defensive reaction if you are very insecure.
- What do you want from the conversation? Do you like it when people yell and get angry in response? Because this is exactly the reaction your interlocutor will have to your irritation: negativity begets negativity. Do you want this?
The best ways to be calm and not nervous in any situation
How to become evil for your own benefit?
It is controlled anger that will help you take leadership positions among people and become a self-sufficient, self-confident person. Anger is a defense in difficult situations. Its use will be especially effective in cases where other methods have had no effect.
For some people, it is really important to know how to be an angry person so that they can use this knowledge to organize their personal lives. It is worth noting that anger gives self-confidence. This feeling helps, without fear of anything, to prove that one is right, to do things that a person was previously afraid to even think about.
You need to have some knowledge about how to become an evil and cruel person so as not to harm yourself or others. Anger is energy that, when released, manifests itself in different directions. It has been proven that a person who controls this feeling can achieve significant victories in the shortest possible period of time. This trend can be seen especially well in sports.
Sometimes anger can be used as a trigger for action. It forces a person to strive for a better result. The most effective way to arouse anger in yourself is to remember the situation that annoys you, and scroll through the current situation in your mind from the point of view of the victim.
Features of aggression in women
Women most often suppress their aggression towards a man, but take it out on their children.
Therefore, if you notice aggression towards children, work with your attitude towards a man (husband, lover, etc.) or his absence. And also with your attitude towards yourself. Honestly admit to yourself what stresses/burdens/irritates you, etc. in your relationship with a man. And find the right wording to convey your feelings to him.
Solve your relationship problem! Don’t keep silent and don’t pretend that you are happy, everything suits you, etc. just because you feel dependent/unconfident/unnecessary/useless, etc. in your relationship with a man. A man still feels that something is oppressing you, and will perceive it as “I couldn’t cope” “I’m bad” “I don’t satisfy her” “I can’t make my beloved woman happy” and can increase external “pressure” on you - become ruder, more demanding, find fault with appearance or something else, start cheating, etc. - there are many options.
When you direct your focus to improving your relationship with a man, then most likely it will become more clear to you how you feel about yourself and this is the cause of the problems. Your husband doesn’t “value” you because you don’t value yourself. And all those offensive words that he says to you, you most likely have already said to yourself, mentally, and most likely more than once.
In no case should you take out your dissatisfaction on children, because children perceive ANY communication from their parents with them as “Am I good? or Am I bad?” and often nothing else.
This is the main task of parents - to give the child confidence that he is GOOD. He can easily learn everything else on his own.
“WITH EVERY appeal to a child - in word, deed, intonation, gesture, frowning eyebrows and even silence - we inform him not only about ourselves, our condition, but always about him, and often mainly about him.” (Yu. Gippenreiter)
If a woman realizes HERSELF through a child
In addition, if a woman has unfulfilled needs and she experiences pain about this (in other words, she has 2, 3 and 4 layers of the “jug” filled), then it also happens that she realizes HERSELF through a child.
Here I mean the deep attitude towards the child: “When everything is fine with the child, then I feel good.” This is why limiting beliefs arise: “Everything is for children!”, “With the birth of a child, my personal life ended,” “I must be a good mother,” etc.
At the same time, “good” is often exactly what she herself has not realized, but she wanted it. Or, “good” is something that fits into HER picture of “how it should be,” for example, “the child received an education, got married, behaves politely with me, the neighbors don’t complain to me about him, is obedient, plays music, does lessons, doesn’t do the opposite, etc.” the list is different for everyone. That is, she herself has already decided what is good for the child and what is not.
And every time something happens to a child that does not fit into this picture of HER “how it should be with my child,” she takes the blame, scolds, blames, is afraid of something, etc. That is, it “hits” itself “I’m a bad mother, I’m bad.” And then most likely he takes it out on someone - a child, husband, etc.
Summarizing
So, in this article I talked about the causes of aggression in women and what to do about it. Aggression is a sign that a person cannot cope with the situation, is not confident in himself, does not feel his right to be, but cannot cope with it himself, so he “hits” those around him. You always have a choice, in any situation, to continue doing what you are used to, or to do something differently. Through overcoming oneself, a person grows spiritually. Through self-study, a person receives information about what can be changed in himself in order to act differently. The Jug Model can help you see the deeper causes of aggressive behavior.
In each specific situation, when you are ready to burst into anger or aggression, take a break and think about what need of mine is currently not being fulfilled, what pain inside me has been activated, and what do I think about myself in this situation. What does this person have to do with my own pain? And only then say or act something.
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How to become angry and strong: secrets of psychologists
An important rule: never accumulate anger within yourself. Feel free to express your emotions as soon as you feel yourself starting to get angry. To avoid uncontrollable manifestations of anger, you should not accumulate it in yourself.
How to become evil and achieve your goal? Dissatisfaction and anger from not fully getting what you wanted are the feelings that motivate action. If a person does not feel satisfied with what he has, he will constantly strive for something better. In this case, the main thing is to have specific tasks in front of you, to clearly understand and review the final goal. Your great success should definitely be appreciated.
How to become angry and cruel to achieve a goal, to realize the desire to change something in your life? Try to combine your desire with hatred and anger. For example, if you dream of becoming more beautiful and slimmer, you need to hate your extra pounds. Only this anger should set you up for a certain result, and not lower your self-esteem.
Become indifferent to girls
Since we have touched on the topic of love, then let's talk about it. Bad guys don't like. Bad boys really don't care about girls. This is what is visible to people around you. But what's really going on in the bad guy's soul?
Bad guys often become bad people after disappointment in love. When a guy falls in love for the first time, he glows with all the positive emotions for the girl. He does everything for her sake, regrets nothing. However, often a guy’s love remains non-reciprocal. The girl uses him, breaks his heart, shows that not everything is as transcendental and wonderful as it seems.
Often guys become bad based on the relationship they have with their parents. If a guy does not receive love from his parents or is faced with the fact that his sons love was unnecessary to his parents, then he can become a “bad guy.”
Bad guys are actually capable of love. They just don't open their hearts too quickly. They allow girls to approach them and often acquire numerous connections. Then they spend a long time looking at how girls treat them. From all the diversity, they try to find those who treat them sincerely and with love. Guys quickly learn to recognize who fawns over them and who really admires them, who is playing with them and who really wants to love them.
To become a bad guy, you need to stop falling in love and rush at the first beauty you come across with words of love. At first, just communicate, treat the girl calmly, don’t run after her, don’t wait on her. If she has interest and desire to date you, then offer it to her. And if you see that the girl does not intend to have a relationship with you, then calmly cool off towards her and continue looking for your beloved.
How to channel anger in the right direction?
Knowing how to become angry, you need to understand how to extinguish this emotion in case of loss of control over the situation.
- If you find yourself filled with anger and this is preventing you from adequately perceiving the situation, use the tips below to regain your sense of balance and master inner peace.
- Relax through deep and slow breathing. As you exhale, mentally repeat the phrase: “I am calm and in control of the situation.”
- Listen to music. To find peace, the following technique will be effective: start with slow compositions, gradually moving to songs with a faster tempo.
- Do a set of strength exercises.
- Give vent to your anger by simply beating a pillow and throwing out your negativity on an inanimate object.
- Write an angry letter where, without mincing words, describe all your negative feelings. Burn the letter and imagine that your problems disappear along with the burning paper.
Causes of aggressive behavior
There are many reasons for aggression - shame, guilt, fear, or anger. Sometimes these feelings sit so deep in a person that it is impossible for him to see them in himself without outside help. And aggression is most often directed at the one who evokes these feelings in an aggressive person.
One way to survive
Aggressive behavior most often affects people who are less intellectually developed. But they, as a rule, adhere to an active life position and have great opportunities. With the help of aggression, people defend their principles and interests, try to survive in a cruel world if they do not see other, more humane and civilized means.
Inner experiences
If a person falls into a state of aggression, then the problem lies in his soul. Experiences accumulate inside a person, and it becomes increasingly difficult for him to control himself. At such moments, anything can become a reason for aggression. On the contrary, the more balanced and harmonious a person is, the less susceptible he is to an aggressive mood.
Miseducation
The causes of irritability and aggression must be sought from infancy.
Pressure, resentment and humiliation suffered in early childhood give rise to aggression. If a child has experienced negativity from his parents or been subjected to physical and moral violence, there is a high probability that, as he grows up, he will begin to take revenge, taking out aggression on others.
It is very easy to break a child's psyche. For example, some parents conduct such “educational” experiments: they do not approach the crib with a crying baby. If the child has a strong character, the parents will not stand it and will come up first; if a child has a weak character, prone to neuroticism, he will give up. Thus, even from the cradle, resentment is ingrained in the baby’s brain.
Sometimes parents unconsciously offend their child with words: “move away,” “don’t interfere,” “don’t disturb,” “don’t touch,” “go to another room.” At the same time, without explaining to the child why he cannot touch this or that thing, why he cannot help his parents do anything.
But even when introducing their child to joint work around the house, some parents scold their child if something doesn’t work out. Instead of helping and supporting, parents break down: “You can’t do it! What have you done! Go away!
From childhood, resentment accumulates, which then results in aggression. A person is so filled with resentment that even an outside glance can arouse anger in him. At this moment, the aggressor is driven by the desire for revenge.
Public bullying
Often society also inflicts mental trauma on a child: public humiliation, insults, and bullying embitter people.
How to show your anger correctly?
Anger needs to be shown to other people so that they understand why you are angry, see your mistakes and realize why this is so important to you. Try to explain to your opponent what consequences the problem you are considering may lead to. No need to shout! The best argument will be stern, clear and fairly loud intonations.
Sometimes it is better to talk, to let your anger out, than to remain silent, because communication is a real chance to find a way out of a difficult situation.
Knowledge of how to become evil will be useful in life, because without anger it is impossible to feel full joy. Don't be afraid to express this feeling, but use it skillfully. Remember, these emotions will only be beneficial if you learn to control them and use them not for evil, but to realize your plans.
Know your basic rights
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When you are dealing with a difficult person, it is important to remember your rights and notice if they are being violated. As long as you don't harm others, you can stand up for yourself and protect your rights
Here are some fundamental human rights:
As long as you do not harm others, you can stand up for yourself and protect your rights. Here are some fundamental human rights:
- You have the right to be treated with respect;
- You have the right to express your feelings, opinions and desires;
- You have the right to set your own priorities;
- You have the right to say no to guilt;
- You have the right to get what you pay for;
- You have the right to have different opinions from others;
- You have the right to defend yourself against physical, mental and emotional threats;
- You have the right to a happy and healthy life.
These fundamental rights also represent your boundaries.
Of course, there are many people in our society who do not respect these rights. In particular, aggressive, intimidating, and controlling individuals want to strip you of your rights so that they can control and exploit you. But you have the power and moral authority to declare that you are the boss in your life, not your abuser.
Cognitive factors
The first cognitive factor we will look at is scripts. Let's look at two examples:
You're on a crowded bus and someone steps on your foot. Since you didn't plan to fight on the bus, your script will oppose this form of aggression.
Some young man has what is called “his hands itching,” and he goes to a nightclub with the goal of testing his strength and fighting training with someone. Naturally, in such a mood, in such a scenario, any little thing can provoke an extremely aggressive reaction.
An important cognitive factor is evaluation. Let's take the same example: someone stepped on your foot on a bus. If it is crowded and people stand close together, then this is, of course, unpleasant, but it is obvious that the person did it by accident. This assessment will reduce your level of aggression.
But if the bus is almost empty and someone deliberately steps on your foot, it is obvious that you will react more aggressively. Re-evaluation may also follow: a change in attitude due to new observations. For example, you may notice that a person felt bad, he couldn’t keep his balance and therefore stepped on your foot, that is, it was still accidental. In this case, reassessment will reduce the level of aggression.
Another cognitive factor is past experience. An event may trigger a past negative experience, make you remember past emotions, and in this case, your level of aggression will increase.
The level of aggression is also influenced by the current mood.
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Social learning theory
Social learning theory explains many mental phenomena, including aggression. The essence of the theory is that people do not have innate aggressive reactions, but acquire them in the process of observing other people.
A person's past experience also matters. For example, if aggression is encouraged in his social environment, this contributes to its development.
It follows that if you condemn aggression, you will form the opinion among people that this is archaism, animal behavior, etc. etc., they will become less aggressive. By changing people's attitudes towards aggression and reducing the number of its manifestations, we make society less aggressive.
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Russian
Morphological and syntactic properties
present | past | will command | |
I | *hold | dared dared | — |
You | you dare | dared dared | dare |
He she it | is insolent | dared dared dared | — |
We | dare | were daring | — |
You | dare | were daring | dare |
They | dare | were daring | — |
Etc. valid present | daring | ||
Etc. valid past | daring | ||
Deepr. present | dare | ||
Deepr. past | daring, daring | ||
Future | I will/will... dare |
dare
Verb, imperfective aspect, intransitive, conjugation type according to A. Zaliznyak’s classification - 4b. The formation of the 1st person singular form is difficult. The corresponding perfective verbs are to restrain, to insolence.
Root: -daring-; suffix: -and; verb ending: -т.
Meaning
- decomposition behave disrespectfully, defiantly, saying rude, insulting words to someone; be rude ◆ Be angry, don’t be angry, don’t be insolent, even if you don’t remember my parents well, I won’t flog you. A. V. Amfitheatrov, “Princess”, 1889-1895 (quote from the National Corpus of the Russian Language, see References) ◆ If Petya was sent to a corner or forced to kneel for pranks, he became reluctant, made excuses for a long time, argued It even happened that he was daring. F. K. Sologub, “Transformations”, 1910 (quote from the National Corpus of the Russian Language, see References) ◆ ― The boy is a poor student, insolent, lying at every turn... G. I. Gorin, “Stop Potapov!” , 1960–1985 (quote from the National Corpus of the Russian Language, see References)