We are all the same: we often depend on public opinion, we control our actions and actions, we analyze every situation. And, without realizing it, we find ourselves in a cycle of emotions and a stream of thoughts that deprive us of the opportunity to enjoy life.
Experts call this condition overexertion or a constant thought process. It usually starts with nonsense. For example, your husband said something unpleasant at breakfast. What is said touches you, and throughout the day you do not stop thinking about it. You play out all sorts of scenarios of consequences, plan what countermeasures to take, try to understand why and why the “fermentation effect” occurs. A certain chain begins to line up in your head: one thought clings to another.
When we give in to our thoughts, we spin out of control and literally drown in the stream of consciousness.
Constant rumination can become a habit and greatly change your life for the worse. It can paralyze your development: you will feel that everything is so bad that you shouldn’t even try to change anything. In addition, this can lead to really serious consequences that you will regret without realizing your mistake. He who thinks a lot does little. While we continue to think about all the details of the situation in the past, analyze our actions and words, we actually lose our present. In the worst case, you may fall out of reality for a long time and not understand what is really happening.
How to Tell If You're Thinking Too Much
The concept of “overthinking” or “excessive thinking” means a state in which a person continuously analyzes the past and makes long-term plans for the future.
The flow of thoughts becomes so strong that you lose focus on what is happening at the moment. Problems with concentration, sleep, and memory often arise. There are two types of overthinking: thinking about the past and worrying about the future. This state does not allow one to eliminate problems, since most often a person does not set himself the goal of solving them, but concentrates on them and only aggravates the situation. For example, during a headache, he thinks not about which pill is best to take, but about how bad he feels. Also, “overthinking” should not be confused with reflection - this process is limited in time and is controlled. That is, while analyzing the past, you can stop and switch your attention at any time.
A few signs that your thoughts are controlling you:
- You repeatedly relive awkward moments in your head and analyze how you did the right or wrong thing.
- You often have trouble sleeping, because the flow of thoughts prevents you from falling asleep.
- You ask yourself a lot of “what if...” questions.
- You spend a lot of time thinking about the hidden meaning of what people say.
- You mentally paraphrase conversations with people and think of all the things you want to say.
- You constantly remember your mistakes.
- When someone says or acts in a way you don't like, you constantly replay the situation in your head.
- Sometimes you are not aware of what is happening around you because you are caught up in your thoughts.
- You worry about things you can't control.
- You can't think about anything pleasant.
Water to the rescue
It has long been believed that contact with water puts thoughts in order. If you want to not think about anything, going to the pool will help you the best. Swimming relaxes the body and distracts from obsessive thoughts. If you don't want to go to the pool, just soak in the bath. After a hard day, give yourself some real relaxation, lie down in warm water. You can add flavored salt or essential oils. A contrast shower also helps. Believe me, after this procedure, bad thoughts will disappear without a trace. The easiest option (if you are at work) is to wash your face with cool water or simply apply a moistened napkin to your temples.
How to stop thinking too much
Train your attention
Start to notice the moments when you are focused on your own thoughts and do not notice what is happening around you. Turn your attention to something outside: watch passers-by, cars, examine some object in detail. Over time, capturing such moments will become easier.
Write down intrusive thoughts
So, you “put” them on paper and conditionally get rid of them. In addition, after a while you will be able to read them and look at the situation from the outside. Set a timer for 10–15 minutes. During this time, write down as much information as possible about the problem that is bothering you, without filtering it in the process. After a few hours or the next day, take time to read and think about what you wrote. Perhaps you will see patterns and weed out unnecessary ideas.
Change negative attitudes to positive ones
Obsessive thoughts most often have a negative connotation. Record them (preferably in writing) and come up with a positive attitude that corresponds to them. For example, you are worried that you will not cope with some task. Then list all your skills, character traits, external circumstances that will allow you to complete the task.
Focus on the solution
According to the philosophy of Stoicism, all events can be divided into two parts: controlled and uncontrolled. The first group requires your decisions and actions. If you are worried about the fact that something unpleasant is happening and it cannot be changed, focus on your state in this situation. For example, what will help you reduce your anxiety about this and feel better?
Meditation practice
Even a short meditation will lead your thoughts in a constructive direction. Of course, meditation still needs to be learned. But believe me, this practice will do some spring cleaning in your brain. If you don’t really want to meditate, you can simply do breathing practices. For example, before going to bed, when negative thoughts keep you awake, take a few deep breaths. Let them be slow and measured. To avoid thinking about anything, concentrate on your breathing as intensely as possible.
Hypergeneralization
psychologytoday.com
Overgeneralizing means that because thinking too much helps you in one area of your life (such as school or work), you assume it will work in others, such as your relationship.
Thinking is a tool. But many people are so good at thinking and are so often rewarded for it in other aspects of life that they find it difficult to give it up where it is not so useful.
see also
50 tips for all occasions that can come in handy at any time
The old saying goes well here: “To a man with a hammer, everything looks like a nail.”
To the experienced thinker, everything begins to seem like a problem that needs to be solved through careful thinking. If you find yourself overthinking, make a list of the different areas of your life and ask yourself an honest question: Is analytical thinking really the most effective approach?
“I have often wondered about the universal tendency to make hasty generalizations. Generalizations almost never contain the truth and are usually extremely inaccurate.” – Agatha Christie, Murder at the Vicarage .
One of the main reasons for overthinking is idleness.
When we don't occupy our mind with anything, our thoughts begin to wander. We should try to anticipate what could go wrong in our lives. We can anticipate decisions in advance. This is an instinctive survival mechanism. Unfortunately, many of us fail to move beyond the stage of identifying what could go wrong. We get stuck at this stage and begin to pile up mountains of nonsense. Excessive thinking leads us to collapse.
To stop thinking, find yourself a regular activity. Create a daily schedule filled with constructive activities. Make sure you follow it. Fill it with work and try to live up to it. This will occupy your mind and save you from unnecessary thinking.
Your decision is never final
We tend to strive to come to a great, correct, final decision that will forever determine our future life. From a realistic point of view, this will never happen. No decision is final because conditions change and our perspective must adapt.
There is no single solution that will make our entire future life path the way we would like. This makes long thinking pointless. It is important to think critically before making a decision. However, do not get carried away by long thoughts. Accept that your decision may be wrong. Moreover, understand that life is a process of learning from mistakes.
The illusion of control
pinterest.ru
More than any other painful emotion, people find it difficult to cope with helplessness. Agree, we just hate feeling helpless! Especially when it comes to the closest people - spouses, children, parents. When someone we love or care about suffers, of course we want to help them.
Unfortunately, our ability to help others is often more limited than we think. But instead of confronting our helplessness, we begin to deny it. And although in fact we cannot do anything, we begin to think more, worry more, worry more. Reflection simply seems useful to us.
We think too much because it provides the illusion of control and virtually eliminates the feeling of helplessness.
Unfortunately, the long-term costs are rarely worth it. Result: chronic anxiety, arising from constant worry; low self-esteem due to constant rumination; stress and overwhelm because we never feel like we can turn off our minds.
see also
7 wise conclusions that many people do not learn by the age of 40 (but they should)
All this is usually associated with our intolerance of helplessness. This means that if you want to stop obsessing over your thoughts, you need to get used to the lack of control in some situations.
“You have learned to run away from your own feelings, and that is why you have nightmares. Denial is a direct road to madness. Acceptance is the path to control.” – Megan Chance
Think about the present moment
Important events happen in our lives. These could be important exams, interviews or competitions. Whenever we are faced with such a situation, we want to be as prepared as possible. Before this, we think a lot, prepare and do self-assessment. These are the necessary things.
However, preparation can become overwhelming. Endless thoughts begin. This often leads to panic before significant events in our lives. As a result, we can ruin everything. To avoid this, start preparing for the event long before it happens. Then, as it approaches, you will feel calm because you know that you are completely ready. Focus on the present moment. This is a surefire way to succeed.
- How to be successful in everything you do
The steps outlined above can help you eliminate unnecessary rumination from your life. As a result, you will be able to enjoy peace of mind and achieve success.
Be brave enough to take the plunge
We try to anticipate every little detail in our actions so that we don't make mistakes when we finally take a step forward. This waste of time only creates fears and causes stress. Just think about whether the decision overall will be beneficial for you or not. If it feels bad, don't do it. If it's good, go for it.
Take the plunge, convincing yourself that everything will end well. If decisions initially seemed good and turned out to be bad, then learn from your mistakes and move on. Your lack of knowledge about the future should inspire you to take action, not hesitate.
Let's grab the weights
Sport is also a great way to distract from obsessive thoughts. Are you scrolling through the events of the past day? Do twenty squats. Did not help? Make twenty more. Make it a rule not to sit still, but to move. When a person feels danger, he freezes. You do the opposite. Move your body, pump your muscles and drive your thoughts away. Carry weights, do exercises with a skipping rope. Jogging also copes well with a bad mood. Trouble at work? Grab your sneakers and run outside. But you don’t need to sit on the couch and dwell on negativity in your head.
Understand that long thoughts do not lead to truth.
Through long reflection, we want to understand what our decisions can lead to. Essentially, it is a search for truth. We try to predict what our decisions will lead to before we make them. However, pragmatic philosophy has shown us that these are futile attempts.
The only way to know the true consequences of a decision is not to think about it, but to act on it. You will never know what will come of your plans until you implement them.
Examples of situations that require no thought but only decisive action include choosing a school, moving to a new location, getting married, changing careers, or getting divorced. No matter how much you think about these actions, you will never know where they will lead until you do them. Thus, excessive thinking does not lead to truth, but action does.
Perfectionism
reddit.com/hypnotickefir
What most people don't understand about perfectionism is that perfectionism is not perfection. It's about feeling perfect.
People “suffering” from perfectionism find it difficult to part with things in which they do not feel ideal:
- This applies to the blog post you want to publish;
- The report that you are going to send to your superiors;
- Pieces for piano that you are going to perform live for friends and acquaintances.
Nobody actually believes that things can be perfect - obviously, it's simply impossible. But the tolerance for feeling deficient in some areas of life is very, very low.
If you convince yourself that you need to work harder, it means you need to think more. And this means feeling less inferior and imperfect.
If you struggle with perfectionism, there's a good chance your overthinking problem is related to an emotional tolerance problem.
see also
Why is adolescence the most difficult period?
Practice tolerating feelings of inadequacy so you can continue to live the way you feel.
“On the spiritual path of radical acceptance, we do not strive for perfection, but rather learn to love ourselves and find wholeness.” – Tara Brach
