The relevance of the problem of how to believe in yourself and your strengths appears when a person has already encountered a number of failures or he has to accomplish something that has extreme personal significance for him. And if an objective vision of your failures should prompt you to analyze your actions, reorient your actions or improve your skills, then if what is coming is of great importance, you will have to work exclusively with internal attitudes. First of all, a person needs to figure out why some matter has received super-importance in his system. It is unlikely that the question of how to force yourself to believe in yourself before an important interview does not arise for those who see this only as a conversation, but if you add the desire to become worthy in the eyes of your partner, to justify parental expectations, the lack of other prospects, then the importance of the interview soars significantly .
Understanding the reason for the high importance can help you separate the task itself from the expectations placed on it from above and give you the opportunity to recognize your family to earn differently. It is worth studying the issue and looking at examples of successful implementation of what you want by other people who have the same starting positions or other basic conditions - here you can learn a lot and in reality see that there is nothing transcendental in the goal, just as nothing critical happened to people during achievement.
The scale of the task, which with its weight simply crushes a person (living in a rented one-room apartment, making plans for your own built castle can seriously shake self-conceit and faith) can generate disbelief in one’s abilities. Break big tasks and long-term plans into small ones (not so destructive to the ego), develop a certain algorithm of action - this seriously calms you down, instills confidence, and adds strength. When you look at a list of several tasks, see the prescribed moves in case of a turn, then the whole event ceases to seem impossible. It is this purely practical approach that often turns out to be much more effective than various affirmations and other techniques of suggestion, since it reinforces your strength with actions, you see real changes in what is happening, although the same mechanisms for changing perception are involved, it’s just that in one case you convince yourself how cool you are, and in With your friend, you optimize the problem and reduce the scale of its impact.
Live your goals
Assess your goals for a year, five years, and your entire life. Be honest with yourself. Are these really your aspirations or just pictures from a fashion magazine stuck in your mind? Do you really want this or is this goal imposed by your spouse, your boss, or your environment? Maybe, instead of traveling to tropical islands, deep down in your heart you dream of locking yourself in your office and writing a program or a novel? Or, on the contrary, is it time to give up everything and exchange the corporate tie for a bungalow overlooking the ocean?
You can only believe in yourself if you live your life. You can’t waste your time fulfilling other people’s desires and respect yourself at the same time.
How to believe in yourself when you give up
Self-confidence can slip away from time to time due to various factors: criticism from others, another failed attempt to realize what was planned, a series of bad luck, or the inflated significance of what is happening. But there are situations when you give up and everything that pops into your head concerns only how to quit everything, and not how to believe in yourself and your strength, because objectively there is no strength left. Depressive and apathetic states, moments of crisis suck all reserves from the energy reservoir, leaving no opportunity to move on. Often the problem is not solved for so long that there is no strength to continue, but there is also no resource left for care. All this concerns issues of rethinking and finding motivation. It is the presence of meaning in one’s life and a motive for every action that gives a person new opportunities, fills him with energy and turns on imagination for other ways of achieving.
You'll have to do some soul-searching to find out whether your hard work is still your true goal. All set goals must be periodically reviewed and adjusted to stay on course. Well, what's the point of investing in a relationship where they cheat on you for the purpose of further marriage? What is the point of continuing to draw up a methodology for a project that has not been launched for a year, but continues to require development from you? Why go to visit those who have long ceased to be your friends? It’s easier to choose a goal once, but only when it no longer corresponds to your changed internal attitudes, the energy will not be supplied to achieve it. Your subconscious will begin to choose erroneous strategies, trigger various somatic diseases, and in other ways prevent the fulfillment of what has ceased to be your true desire.
Try to consider your life globally and as broadly as possible, seeing all the relationships that exist at the moment, imagine the future. Such an analysis helps in understanding how much the goal that you are striving for and trying to raise your motivation from scratch will please you when it is realized. Look for the larger meaning of your life, rather than short-term stages of satisfaction, after achievement, which are covered by emptiness and hopelessness. When you focus on such a lifestyle, over time a psychological defense is activated that does not allow you to achieve what you have chosen, because after achievement there is no joy expected, emptiness and meaninglessness await, and while you are endlessly struggling in attempts to achieve, life seems to be filled with meaning. Therefore, it is necessary to distinguish between meanings, values and goals: the first makes you live and feel energy, the second sets the choice of paths for implementation, and the third shows the direction.
When you reconsider your life, it does not give quick results, so it would be good to have the support of loved ones at this stage. In principle, this is a great strategy when you are not coping, and sometimes it is the delegation of some responsibilities that allows you to breathe new life into a frozen event.
Eliminate all negativity from your sight, stop at least temporarily communicating with people who do not believe in you and your success. Take risks and loudly declare your desires, because perhaps realization is somewhere very close. If you are looking for a job, tell everyone, maybe even strangers, but nice people, if you are confused in finding the right product, then start looking in places and countries where you have not been before or which for some reason you were afraid to trust. Such risky experiments often give a positive result, because if you didn’t find something, didn’t receive it, didn’t finish it with where you are now, it might be worth changing the external scenery.
How to sober up quickly enough to drive
In such a situation, the answer has no options: you can’t get behind the wheel until the alcohol has completely left the body, and this, depending on the amount drunk, can take more than one hour. However, reluctantly, doctors confirm that situations can be different, and then the person needs urgent sobering up. Well... It's worth taking the following steps:
- Stop drinking immediately.
- Gastric lavage. Vomiting prevents the absorption of alcohol into the blood, removes remaining alcohol from the stomach, and reduces the amount drunk.
- Sweet, strong tea tones the body and will help remove alcohol from the blood. Plain water will restore your water balance.
- A cool or contrast shower improves metabolism and blood circulation in the body.
- Smell the ammonia solution (ammonia) applied to the cotton wool.
And we repeat once again - it’s better not to get behind the wheel! The breathalyzer will still show the presence of alcohol in the blood.
How to believe in yourself and gain confidence
How a person can believe in himself and gain confidence are questions that are close, but not synonymous. Self-confidence consists of an attitude towards a possible future, a positive assessment of the possibilities in realizing your plans, while confidence adds general fulfillment to this list, since these are not theoretical concepts, but the direct practice of life (if you are full of plans and developments, but do not implement them in any way). reality, the amount of faith will only decrease).
To understand how to force yourself to believe in yourself, you need to switch the main attention to your own personality, in its unique development and originality, avoiding comparison, which burns confidence quite quickly, even though it goes in a positive direction (and then arrogance is born), even in negative (and then self-deprecation and complexes arise). Naturally, it is impossible to completely isolate yourself from the world and people, but it is quite possible to reformat the habit of comparison, you just have to look at people not with envy, but with interest. Remember those characters or people close to you with whom you compare yourself and logically highlight those characteristics that appeal to you, analyze what exactly this person does so that everything turns out this way - consider him as a teacher, you can even ask for advice or share your experience in achieving . It is better to compare yourself with yourself, your past achievements, skills or desired future achievements, i.e. not “I’m running slower than this guy,” but “I’m running slower than yesterday.” This approach helps to notice the reasons and correct what is happening.
Formulate your qualities as honestly as possible - accepting your various sides gives you confidence in managing your life, because having such information, you will remove doubts about whether you can or not, and you will definitely be able to be responsible for the result or not get down to business, identify unknown areas where you cannot predict the result. Recognizing your shortcomings allows you to take advantage of them, and in any professional community those who clearly understand the boundaries of their competence are more valued than those who grasp at everything and present themselves as omnipotent. It is important not to indulge in self-criticism; simple recognition and acceptance is enough; all shortcomings should be treated with patience. Instead of criticizing, it is better to praise yourself, even for small achievements or progress towards success, for example, for refusing a harmful lunch in favor of a balanced one.
Set only a few goals at a time - it is their implementation that will fill you with the feeling that you can cope with the next ones. A huge number of plans that are included in the diary load the nervous system. The more often and more symbolic ticks you tick about what you have achieved, the stronger your belief in your capabilities will become, which is facilitated by setting a small number of goals at a time.
Reconsider the beliefs that limit you; perhaps you immediately label something as “impossible” or “not my thing.” Question all the thoughts, statements and opinions you encounter along the way - your own assessments of the achievability of the goal, the verdict made about your abilities by other people, the assessment of experts and statistics on this issue. These are the factors that produce a logical, but not always correct analysis, since the situation can unfold in an absolutely unimaginable way, and where most took years, you may be lucky to get through in a month.
How to help someone believe in themselves
Helping a person may not always be in the nature of solving his problems or directly participating in it. There is a huge range of situations when intervention in a person’s life through active actions only creates the appearance of help, but in reality causes harm. So, out of compassion, you can do your child’s homework for him, making his evening easier, but in the end he will not develop, you can take care of your loved ones, while depriving them of independence, a husband can completely take care of the family, depriving his wife of choice - the list can be endless. If you see that a person refuses to implement something because of thoughts that it is difficult or that he is unworthy, then you do not need to offer him something ready, but it is better to help him, becoming confident, to achieve everything on his own. The moment you do everything for him, you seem to confirm his lack of faith in his own strength, and then doubts take on a stable form.
To help a person believe in himself, you need to leave pity and evaluation, attempts at moralizing in the background. Focus on support, which can manifest itself in completely different ways - you can make it clear that you are always there and agree to any proposal, show the importance of someone else's opinion by asking for advice, show interest in the ideas expressed. Such methods are not aggressive, but create a background of their own need and importance, sharing the same values, which further pushes for a broader idea of what was planned. But support does not always look like passive contemplation and agreement, and if you feel that your friend has energy, then it is quite possible to act actively and with pressure, taking you to new places, introducing you to useful people, providing thrills. For many, such a shake-up is useful because it shows that the world around is alive and interesting, and if you start interacting with it, it will happily respond. In addition, if a person has any illogical beliefs about what is happening, then you minimize their influence by taking upon yourself to organize the first step, which is precisely the most scary (remember, dating and interviews are more frightening than dating and work).
When you communicate with a person who has lost faith in himself, avoid comparisons, even with the goal of supporting and showing how much better he is, because by doing so you trigger the comparison mechanism itself, which is contraindicated in this state. Try to talk about his qualities from yourself (“I like your dress”, “today we had fun”, “you painted a beautiful picture”). Your praises should not look like flattery or take on exaggerated forms, the very sensitive psyche of a person who has lost faith will quickly react to falsehood, so really say what you think, while criticism can and even should be given, the main thing is to choose the right form that helps the person use even your shortcomings.
Traditional methods of sobering up
If you urgently need to sober up, you can also use folk remedies, although not all of them are good for achieving the desired effect.
The most effective, but short-term method that can cope even with fainting is to sniff ammonia. However, the adrenaline rush neutralizes the negative effects of ethanol for a very short time. This method is good if a person has fallen asleep and there is no way to wake him up. Or you need to instantly cheer up for further action.
However, there are also really useful folk remedies that promote rapid sobering up. For example, herbal decoctions, natural honey, cabbage brine restore the water-salt balance and saturate the body with vitamins. Viscous porridges normalize the functioning of the gastrointestinal tract and prevent the absorption of alcohol into the blood. Fiber-rich foods cleanse the intestines of toxins. Fermented milk products (kefir, tan, ayran) restore microflora. Massage of the earlobes and feet activates the nerve endings, which also contributes to sobering up.
Positive attitude
We women spend a huge amount of time applying perfect makeup, but sometimes we don’t notice what’s going on in our souls. An optimistic, joyful, kind, interested, hopeful look at a new day is exactly how we set up our body for this life.
Gaining experience
Even if it is not entirely positive, it will still help you look at certain things differently. Gaining experience is especially important when you want to learn something. You should understand that everything never works out at once. For any acquisitions, you will need to familiarize yourself with the situation in detail and delve into the essence of what is happening. Some parents are interested in how to make their child believe in themselves? First of all, he should be given the opportunity to make his own choice.
As a rule, if adults do not interfere in any way with its development, then the child will successfully self-determine at a certain moment. The child is strongly connected to his own emotions and knows what he wants. The acquisition of the necessary experience itself will make it possible to have concrete ideas about life.
Take action
Often people, in the face of assigned tasks, experience timidity, anxiety, stress and even complete emptiness. Psychologist and writer Dr. Rob Young in the book “Self-Confidence. The ability to control your life” tells that you should not allow such emotions to interfere with the completion of the task, which still needs to be solved.
Young recommends using nervousness to your advantage. This emotional state warns a person not to let down his guard and take everything for granted. To achieve the best result, you need:
- put aside worries;
- highlight important points;
- make every effort.
The psychologist is confident that when a person often finds himself in situations that frighten him, he is more likely to forget that he was afraid. At some point, he will be filled with positive emotions, freedom and liveliness, and he will begin to like everything that is happening.
The courage of a person does not lie in not experiencing fear, but in overcoming it and learning to manage it. Show courage and start taking action, because the feeling of confidence arises after the step taken, and not before it.
Practical advice
What kind of insecure person is he? Most often, this is a smart guy who is afraid to talk to a girl, a hard worker who does not dare to take a high position in the company, a beautiful, kind housewife who thinks she is ugly. There can be a lot of examples. All that unites these people is their weak side. Therefore, you need to work on it.
To believe in yourself, you need to challenge your fear. Are you afraid to talk to a girl? Go out into the street and ask the first person you meet. Do you consider yourself not beautiful? Sign up for a photo shoot and submit a photo to a beauty contest.
Along the way, find something to do that you think is worthy of respect. For example it could be:
- Help for orphans. Buy fruits, sweets, toys and visit the nearest orphanage. Chat with the little ones, give them a piece of warmth and kindness.
- Caring for animals. Wrap your half-eaten lunch in a little bag and feed the homeless at the entrance. If there are none, you can go to the zoo, taking with you a basket of apples and delicious vegetables.
- Club or sports section. Have you dreamed of becoming an intimidating muscleman? A vocal singer? A graceful dancer? Take action, everyone once started small.
- Training. Sign up for a course if this is what will help you believe in yourself. And it doesn't matter how old you are. It's never too late to learn.
- Writing a book. If your fate is tragic, full of drama, write a novel. Firstly, it will help you get rid of obsessive, sad thoughts, and secondly, it will allow you to be proud of your work.
Sometimes it's really hard to believe in yourself. Don't back down. Personally, I advise you to look at the situation from a different angle. As they say, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Sublimate the energy of loss, despair, fear, perhaps this is what will help you unlock your potential.
Irina, Samara
