Sociability: what is it in simple words, a sociable person, communication skills

Updated September 12: 40,515 Author: Dmitry Petrov
Hello, dear readers of the KtoNaNovenkogo.ru blog. Everyone who has ever searched for available vacancies has studied the description of the ideal candidate in the eyes of the employer.

Therefore, they know that communication skills are one of the main personality qualities that are required everywhere, regardless of the type of work offered.

Communication skills not only influence a person’s professional development and fulfillment, but are also important for maintaining personal and friendly relationships, in negotiations, and in a team. It is this that allows you to make a pleasant impression of yourself when meeting someone.

Therefore, it is worth knowing how to develop communication skills, and the list of positive effects from it will serve as good motivation (how is that?)!

What is communication skills

Communication skills are an individual’s ability to effectively establish contacts and interact with others. The basis of communication abilities is trust in others. The less a person follows social stereotypes, the higher his need to start a conversation with a stranger. The term is of Latin origin and literally means “connection, contact.” In defining this personality quality, psychologists emphasize that it is acquired in the process of life. This skill helps to establish friendships based on psychological compatibility.

The level of communication skills determines a person’s effectiveness in collective work and his leadership abilities. High communication skills provide an individual with comfortable communication with a wide variety of categories of people.

A person with communication skills knows how to resolve any conflicts, come to a compromise with the most fastidious client, and find a common language with a strict director. For someone who is uncommunicative, it can be very difficult to solve the simple task of establishing contact with colleagues or clients. Working with a sociable person evokes positive emotions and satisfaction from performing professional duties, while with an employee who has this quality poorly developed, tension and awkwardness are felt throughout the working day, and misunderstandings often arise in the process of solving production problems.

Lack of communication interferes not only in work, but also in personal life. It does not allow you to openly express your feelings, make acquaintances on the street, and in the family it is difficult to express your dissatisfaction or complaints in simple words. Therefore, their family life is rarely smooth. Instead of taking initiative in communication, asking others what they want to know, an uncommunicative person silently draws conclusions, judges by appearance, random phrases, thinks a lot and likes to label and follow public opinion.

Uncommunicative man

Everyone experiences the need for communication, regardless of whether they are sociable or not. But if a person is sociable, then they listen to him with interest. If an individual does not have this skill, then he is considered a talker.

Why communication skills are important - basic functions

Communication skills are inherent in the following functions:

Helps you not get confused in a difficult situation.
Sociability makes a person more respected at work, at school, and in the company of friends.
High communication skills help to avoid conflicts, disputes, and difficult situations.
Develops self-confidence and high self-esteem (a person does not hesitate to speak in public, defend his point of view, express disagreement with his interlocutor).
Allows you to achieve your goals.
Makes a person more developed, literate, educated, charming.

Why do you think people develop communication skills? Has this quality ever helped you in your life? Share your experience in the comments.

Sociability and communication skills - what's the difference?

Sociability and sociability are synonymous terms. Both concepts are used in situations where we are talking about a sociable person who enjoys social interaction.

But a detailed analysis of these terms reveals fundamental differences between them. Sociability is a quality due to which a person communicates easily, maintains a dialogue at ease, and listens carefully to the interlocutor. Communicativeness is associated with an individual’s ability to convey information and not necessarily only verbally. Communication skills can be manifested in oral and written speech, music, games, and dance.

Asya Rakhovich

Psychologist with more than 8 years of experience. Consultant on interpersonal and marital relationships, self-discovery.

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What does a sociable person mean?

A sociable person or a communicative person is someone who can come to an agreement with absolutely any interlocutor. At work, he skillfully negotiates and solves production problems. His communication skills are appreciated by his superiors, which contributes to rapid career growth.

A sociable personality is often the center of attention. This means that his opinion is listened to, he is a formal or informal leader. This is not just a talkative neighbor, he is a tactful and educated communication partner. For him, communication is important in life, so it takes up most of his time.

People of different ages can be sociable: a girl or a guy, middle-aged women and men, old people. In children and adolescents, this skill may not be as noticeable, since school age is the time when communication skills are actively developing.

Signs of a sociable personality

Sociability can be seen in a person with the naked eye, because he has a certain and constant set of qualities:

Friendly and sociable - such a person can more easily implement his plans, achieve success in his profession, and lead an active lifestyle.
The ability to win over the interlocutor, inspiring trust with the ability to confidently and reliably present information.
High level of empathy. Knows how to listen, understand the feelings, thoughts, and needs of the opponent.
Charismatic, high intelligence, brightness and expressiveness of speech.
Flexibility of thinking, ability to compromise. Does not get lost in any situation, offering solutions.
Initiative in maintaining dialogue - knows how to direct the conversation in the right direction.
Adaptability to unfamiliar surroundings. He is not afraid of new acquaintances, and skillfully conducts light conversations with strangers.
Willingness for public speaking, that is, the ability to conduct a conversation with a group of people of different ages and interests.

Types of communication skills

There are different types of communication skills:

Dominant communication skills. Differs in rigidity and assertiveness. In interpersonal interaction, he strives to dominate. Interlocutors quickly get tired of such a sociable type, because he strives to talk rather than listen, and does not like to be interrupted.
Mobile communication skills. A person with this type of sociability is distinguished by a high rate of speech and a wealth of non-verbal language. Representatives of this type easily join in the conversation, but quickly lose interest in it. In everyday life, this feature does not cause them serious problems, but business negotiations can fail because of it.
Rigid communication skills. It is difficult for a person with this type of sociability to get acquainted and make contact. However, he does not experience communication difficulties among people he knows. The ability to clearly define his position and prudence are his main advantages when he successfully conducts business negotiations.
Introverted communication skills. At first, this person may not seem sociable at all. But this does not mean that his communication skills are not developed. He is comfortable communicating in a narrow circle, but a large unfamiliar audience makes him feel constrained and unsure of himself. Such a person will feel more confident if the audience encourages and supports him.

Ways to develop communication skills

Communication is a tool that requires constant improvement. Communication skills can be developed, that is, if today you are afraid to enter into dialogue and think that you do not know how to communicate, work on yourself. Everyone can learn to be an active and pleasant conversationalist.

To do this, it is important to apply a simple set of rules aimed at developing communication.

We are leaving our comfort zone. Don't be afraid to enrich your life with new acquaintances just because you think you won't be accepted by society. Be friendly and confident. Throw away unnecessary worry and believe that everything is going well.
Look for the good. The most difficult person to communicate with or the most unpleasant person for you cannot be absolutely bad and have no merits. Strive to find the best in people. Want to see your interlocutor from his best side.
Be forgiving of other people's shortcomings. Before you judge someone, try to put yourself in their shoes. Nobody is perfect. Including you.
Be proactive. When faced with an unfamiliar person, do not rush to run away. Talk to him first. The greeting and your question may not be original, but the next time you see him again, it will be much easier for you to start a conversation. Most likely, you won’t have to do this at all, and your friend will decide to approach you himself!

Love people, open up to communication. Who knows, maybe today's casual acquaintance will become your best friend, support and shield tomorrow?

Advantages and disadvantages

A sociable personality can have both advantages and disadvantages:

enjoys communication

takes an active life position;

lives in harmony with himself and with the world

in many areas of professional activity the ability to negotiate and communicate with clients is valued;

such an employee usually has a good relationship with his superiors;

opens doors to such areas as psychology, journalism, management, tourism business, trade;

many friends, he is often a leader in the company;

this ability allows him to act as a mediator between people and resolve conflicts;

achieves its goals in a short time.

sociable people are often characterized by high artistry, which in the public consciousness is associated with frivolity;

this character trait is often mistaken for talkativeness;

sometimes it is difficult to grasp the partner’s mood due to one’s own increased excitability;

excessive sociability can be perceived as intrusiveness;

a sociable person, as a rule, communicates not only in real life, but also on a mobile phone, as well as via the Internet, which takes a lot of time;

success can become a reason for envy in the work or educational community;

in an effort to achieve his personal goals, he can use methods such as suppressing a partner, blackmail, and manipulation.

Sociable does not mean talkative

A feature of a sociable person will be ease of communication - such people do not pretend to be leaders in a conversation, they behave on an equal footing with their interlocutor. A sociable person always has something to say, and most importantly, something to ask, but this does not mean that such a person is talkative. There is no such thing as “too much” and it is a developed sense of proportion in one’s statements that distinguishes sociability from talkativeness.

The communication skills he possesses make him sensitive to the needs of the situation. He equally easily enters into dialogue with completely different people, maintaining a tone appropriate to the situation. A sociable person is a talented diplomat who knows how to negotiate smoothly and effectively.

Such people are erudite and gladly use a complex of knowledge about culture and history in communication, adapting it to the interests of the audience.

Essential communication skills

According to psychologists, the most significant communication skills are:

The ability to listen carefully to the interlocutor, highlight key points in his speech. Whether a person has this skill can be judged by how he asks clarifying questions, whether he uses supportive remarks, and whether he formulates conclusions correctly.
Development of emotional intelligence. The ability to correctly recognize the emotions of your interlocutor is the key to effective communication. This skill is as valuable as the ability to control your own emotional states during a conversation.
The ability to correctly interpret the non-verbal language of the interlocutor. Sometimes the facial expressions, gestures and posture of the interlocutor do not correspond to his words. In such cases, psychologists advise believing non-verbal language, and not what the interlocutor says.
Skill to work in team. Teamwork skills are important in the workplace. They allow you to delegate powers, quickly solve production problems, and make informed decisions. In addition, if employees know how to work in a team, the psychological climate in the work team will be favorable. In such an environment, every employee will feel like a member of the team.
Emotional self-control. Of course, each of us has the right to experience absolutely any emotions, both positive and negative. But momentary demonstration of them to others may be inappropriate. If a person's emotional control is not sufficiently developed, it will be very difficult to communicate with him.

Obstacles to communication

Probably most of us want to be described as “communicative” - this greatly simplifies life and interaction with society (what is this?) even in our era of social networks.

But obstacles can be:

Diffidence. When it’s hard to say a word because you think you can’t handle it, there won’t be enough topics to talk about.
Limited horizons . When you really don’t know what to talk about, because the circle of personal interests is narrowed to 1-2 areas.
Excessive emotionality . It does not allow you to concentrate on the state of your opponent, and, accordingly, to deftly lead the conversation in the right direction.
Poor concentration . Just like an overabundance of emotions, through your own thoughts “in the clouds” you cannot look at your interlocutor with interest and absorb all his words.
Negative body language . A person subconsciously reads the facial expressions and movements of another. Therefore, if there are “closed postures”, they are unlikely to believe in your sincerity and goodwill in the conversation.

Stages of developing communication skills

Communication skills are not an innate ability. It is formed only in the process of social interaction. In its development, this ability goes through the following stages:

Gaining first experience in the family. The first form of interaction between a baby and his parents is direct emotional communication. It uses eye contact, facial expressions, and voice intonation. At this stage, the baby acquires basic knowledge about what this or that facial expression or this or that tone of voice means. He also learns to distinguish his family members from strangers.

Successful completion of this stage of development of communication skills is possible only if the psychological situation in the family is favorable and the child’s needs for emotional communication are satisfied.

Gaining the first experience of social interaction. The success of this stage of developing a child’s communication skills largely depends on how the first stage of this process went. If a child has a favorable psychological environment in the family, he openly makes contact with the outside world. In the kindergarten group, children learn to communicate with peers, acquire the skills of playing together and the first experience of resolving interpersonal conflicts.
Interaction in the school community. As a child grows up, he learns to help his peers and learns his own strengths and weaknesses. In a school environment, children gain the experience of true friendship. It is at this stage that interpersonal likes and dislikes are most clearly manifested. Friendly communication, starting from school, accompanies him throughout his life.
Interaction in the process of obtaining professional education. After graduating from school, girls and boys enter various educational institutions. Sometimes students study away from home, so they live in a dormitory. Obtaining a certain profession helps future specialists master the basic principles of business communication, prepares them for real work in one or another area of economic activity, and living in a hostel helps improve interaction skills in an informal setting.
Interaction in the work team. When applying for a job in one or another company, a person improves his business communication skills. It is important for him to learn how to communicate correctly with management, with colleagues, and with subordinates.

Formation of sociability
The success of the formation of communication skills is influenced by factors such as:

type of nervous system;
family education style;
the presence or absence of psychotrauma in childhood;
interests and inclinations of the individual;
socio-psychological climate in the team;
acceptance or non-acceptance of one’s individuality;
experience of communication at all 4 stages of development of communication skills.

The degree of expression of communication skills may vary in different situations because it is influenced by social conditions. The same person will have a different level of sociability in a family where everyone loves each other and in a tense work team.

Sociability - the pros and cons of sociable women

An open smile, sincere interest and charisma - a woman with such qualities will charm anyone. In part, this makes the life of a sociable girl much easier. First of all, the benefits of communication skills are as follows:

The woman passes all interviews well and is offered good positions.
She quickly advances in her career, as a rule, by the age of 30 she already holds a leadership position or is actively developing her business.
She has many friends, so she will never be alone and can count on support in any situation.
A sociable woman easily builds relationships with men because she falls in love with herself already at the first meeting, and therefore she never has problems in family life.
She quickly experiences a crisis at work or in a relationship, because she is resistant to stress and will never suffer or get angry from resentment.

The benefits of communication skills are obvious. However, such girls also have negative traits, largely depending on their character:

A penchant for self-development and curiosity sometimes prevent a woman from developing in one direction. As a result, she often changes profession and place of work, she has many hobbies that occupy all her time.
The ability to empathize and sincerely sympathize often leads to the fact that a sociable woman begins to perceive the problems of others as her own, which causes them shock.
Excessive confidence in your own abilities can play a cruel joke. For example, a student who is confident in her knowledge will not prepare so thoroughly for the exam and will receive a low grade.

Sociable ladies often actively gesticulate and use eloquent facial expressions. As a result, the effect may be the opposite - they scare away interlocutors. This nuance should be taken into account when communicating.

How to develop communication skills

Communication skills can be developed both in childhood and in adulthood.

Ways to develop communication skills in children

In childhood, personal structures are in the stage of active formation. This means that childhood is a favorable period for training such an important social skill as communication.

To make your child more sociable, you need to:

Maintain trusting communication within the family. For example, at dinner, each family member can share with their household how their day went, what was interesting, and what was difficult. Gradually, the usual exchange of information over dinner will become a good family tradition; children will learn to listen carefully to adults, ask questions, talk about their emotions and experiences, and understand facial expressions and gestures.
Role-playing games, in which the child tries himself in different social roles and plays out various situations, have enormous potential for developing communication skills. Such games help expand children's range of social responses.
Even in preschool childhood, it is important to teach a child to turn to an adult with a request, and not to be shy about talking about his needs and preferences.
To develop a child’s interest in live communication. Neither computer games nor the latest mobile phone can replace human interaction with people in real life. That is why the task of parents is to teach their child to be friends with peers by limiting the time they use gadgets.
It is important to teach your child to behave properly when visiting and to receive guests at home. A child must not only observe etiquette, but also be able to entertain peers, maintain a dialogue, and find an activity that will be interesting to his friends.
A trusting relationship with parents will help the child feel protected. It is important that the child knows that he can tell his parents about any quarrels he has with his friends, who will listen to him, understand his feelings and help resolve the unpleasant situation in the best possible way. This approach will help develop adequate self-esteem and self-confidence in the child.
If a child has difficulty establishing contacts with peers, parents should suggest various ways to establish friendships (share toys, offer to play together). If parents’ attempts to teach their child to be friends are unsuccessful, you can seek help from a psychologist, because sometimes in order to become sociable, a child needs to reduce anxiety and overcome personality complexes.
The development of communication skills of school-age children is facilitated by classes in the additional education system.

Unsociability in childhood

The low level of communication of a child in the modern world can be influenced by 4 factors:

sociocultural - more and more often children do not go out for walks, but prefer to stay at home and play computer games, find “friends” online;
family - parents have taken on a fast pace, so most of the day they are at work, running errands, without communicating with the child and without setting an example of communication;
psychological problems - increased anxiety, low self-esteem;
mental disorders - autism (how is that?), childhood depression.

In order to suspect a problem in time, you need to pay sufficient attention to your child. Watch how he communicates with family members and unfamiliar adults. For example, neighbors.

It often happens that a child calmly comes into contact with adults, but there are difficulties in talking with peers.

You need to observe how he communicates on the playground with other children, whether he easily makes friends. You can ask to exchange toys with someone and see how easily the child can do it.